I have always has a firm belief that the next life is a whole lot better than this one. I guess that is why I spend so much time thinking of my send off party. Like, I want Freebird played over my grave, a pair of Levi's thrown in so I am not stuck with just a dress when I get there. I want funeral potatoes and ham served. I want a home funeral and buried on private property next to my dogs and whomever is left that loved me to the end (humans).
I am old enough to have survived others going before me. My parents of course. My grandmothers both passed before I was born and my grampas lived enough for me to grow to miss them for what they meant to me.
Then I meet Tom and he had multiple generation of grandparents. It was new and different seeing so many generations interacting together. Especially the matriarchs sitting around quilting. The stories, laughter, aches, doctor visits, and problems discussed within each generation. I enjoyed every stitch with them. And couldn't wait to add a generation or two to the tradition. But it is gone now.
I have noticed there are two different leavers that leave this world. The givers and the fairers. Some just see the end coming and give away things to those that will appreciate it. Kind of like they live the law of consecration. The Lords law. Then there are those that gather their stores in to have sold off and divvy up the money amongst the Trust. They see unfairness and corruption and they will not let it go by on their watch. The law of the land.
I am not to judge between the two. I am trying to teach myself how I want to leave. No matter which way you leave those left will complain. So decide now and die in peace. Or you can do nothing and let the courts decide while you exit stage left.
As Tom's grandmother on his father's side was preparing to go she told the executor over the estate "Tommy gets the big freezer. He is the only one raising beef calves and he can use it".
It was a blessing and a great example to us. I find both of us giving things away that someone needs or could use more than we do.
Tom's dad did the same. He would give things away that he found he used no longer. He was never a possessive man but a very giving person.
My parents down sized and gave most away then. It was years before they passed but it just didn't matter in their lives anymore. Then as my dad started to slow down he told me and others that "Ginnys boys get my guns".
Right now one is gathering in their things. Things that they haven't see in years. They sent out a list of what is missing. The family members have the choice to return it, purchase it, or have it taken from their inheritance. A price is fixed. The price reflect no depreciation in age or value nor does it reflect money spent in order to keep some of its value. They feel it is only fair. It is what is right for them to have peace.
Life is a lot harder here that there. No wonder the unwritten rule is "You can't take it with you". Once on the other side there are no more possessions, what in heavens name are we going to complain about then?
I think I will burn all my possessions and donate the rest to the church. Then the complaints will not tear those I leave behind apart but draw then into one large choir of "what in the hell did she just do"?
Heritage is free, the price they paid is immeasurable. Inheritance is costly, the price we pay is not worth it.
