The bearer of bad news

"Hello? Hello? Anybody there? Echoo0O... Echo0O"

My phone was practically shrieking already, possibly exasperated from my chronic tardiness. I was sure I killed its snooze alarm at five am, thus my sudden puzzled look.

Then as if on cue, the tone just stopped. 7am. I was supposed to wake up at 6am. But as I looked onto my phone, I noticed that it wasn’t an alarm, ‘twas a missed call from an unknown number.

And as if to answer my imminent “hu u po” question, my phone started to vibrate twice.

“Itay died last night. Please call your mom and ask if she’ll be coming to the Philippines – Tita Mina.”

Pause. Then it dawned to me. A death and a task, how convenient. I have never been a good messenger of death. Should I be the one to break the news to my mom? They’ve probably thought so as I was her son.

After a few tries and a couple of answering machines, my mom’s house phone stopped it’s ringing with a husky “hello.” Not my brother Vincent. Possibly Jeff, my mom’s boyfriend (yeah, how convenient to have her american boyfriend with the same name as mine).

“Hi, Cora please?” I muttered.

(Sorry, I have to switch into tagalong mode …)

“She’s not here, who is this?” Ang sunget, parang sobrang istorbo ako. Loko to ah!

“It’s Jeff, may I speak to my mom?” Kala mo.

“Oh, hi Jeff, sorry your mom just went to work.” Malamang.

“Ok, sorry did I wake you up or something? I just wanted to talk to mom regarding somethin’” Teka, diba mga 5pm ng hapon dun? Bakit sila matutulog, napagkamalan siguro akong nagbebenta ng kung ano ano.

“I just wanted to tell her that Itay just died”

“Itay who?” Putek napagkamalan pang pangalan ang itay. Alam mo un, ung parte ng katawan na nasisira pag madalas kang uminom ng alak.

“I meant, her dad just died.”

“Oh” Ayan speechless ka. Weh….

“Is Vince there?” Siguro naman matino kausap tong kapatid ko.

“Hey, wuzzup” Vince on the line. Putek, teenager nga pala tong kapatid ko.

“I was trying to call mom on her mobile, but realized she must be at work still, so I called the house instead. Can you tell her to call me back once she gets home or something? Itay just died. ”

“Oh yeap, sure” Teenagers.

“Can you call inay? Ask her if she’s ok or something.”

“Ok”

Asus, makapag good bye na nga, sayang lang sa load.

“Thanks, bye.”

“Bye.”

It’s a bit hard being the bearer of bad news. But I guess someone has to do it. Last night I finally got hold of my mom. As expected she tried to be all formal in her replies. She spoke some instructions of the four W’s for the funeral and in case I need to help out. But somewhere in between the “good thing tito Neo just came back to the Philippines” and “at least it my lolo’s suffering would end” I heard her try to hold back tears.

Today I’ll be going to batangas with my dad (my lola’s arch enemy, ex-arch enemy pala). Glad he agreed to accompany me. It’d be weird though for him, I guess.

Sorry for no updates, been really busy lately with work and family stuff. Though February will be one of my busiest, I’ll try my best to post some heart-sy mushy post. Hehe. Till next time! :P

P.S. Thank you to those who texted and gave YM condolence messages last night.

Growing Old

“That’s just odd,” a kid from behind me said.

“That’s just true though,” his companion replied.

I just came out from watching The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. The instant the end credits rolled in, I’ve etched the movie to my list of lifetime fave movies. Exaggeration? Not much. The plot is indeed “curious” if not nearly illogical. But that’s mostly why I’d say it’s a darn good movie. I loved the actors. I loved how it was written (though sometimes I hoped they could do something with the pacing). I loved how the story twisted into almost unexpected events…

… And though I can animatedly go on with how great the movie is, I just can’t shake off the melancholy the movie brought to me.

Prolly the reason why I loved the movie so much is because it somehow hit home… where it hurts.

Watching it reaffirmed what I’ve feared most. Growing old.

I guess it’s just so ironic how in life, my greatest fear is life itself.

You see, I felt like I’ve been through a lot from the day that I was born. And now that I’m quarter of a century old, bad things just can’t seem to stop happening. I fear that if I go on… I might not be able to take in the next challenge life will put me through. I fear that I may not be able to be strong enough. That sooner I’ll just snap out of my sanity.

When I was a kid, I had this strong notion that I won’t last long till I turn 30. If that were true, I now only have five years left in me. Each night I’d dream of monsters, of death, of an unknown entity chasing me. Each night I’d be sleep walking, sometimes people will see me crying. But sometime right after fifth grade, I stopped dreaming, or maybe stopped remembering them. Somehow I was able to protect myself. But till when I cannot be sure.

And as I grew up, my fears took new forms. I feared that I won’t be loved. I feared that I won’t be a good father. I feared that I won’t be a good husband. I feared that all things that I laboriously toiled for will soon be taken away from me. I feared that I could no longer provide for my family. I feared that all who I love will soon leave me. I feared that I will never find my purpose.

Some people die without finding their purpose.

Each day I say to myself, that if death shall come my way, I’ll welcome it with open arms. I am ready to die more because I want to leave this world while I still can smile, while I still have the energy to endure what life throws in my direction. Very unchristian of me eh? I know.

The movie affirmed my fears. But it somehow assuaged me with a little spark of hope.

I could vaguely remember what the swimmer said after successfully crossing the water. But I remember myself wanting to wrap my tongue to those words of encouragement. That I could, in my own little way, swim across my own deep shit.

And as my wise guru once said, if God puts you through it, God will pull you through it. I guess, for my life, it’s a matter of faith. I really do not know what comes after each day. I really do not know if after today I’d be sane enough to go through another battle.

And unlike its titular protagonist, I have the chance to enjoy life growing old, not in reverse. But like him, I’d like to live my life learning, meeting people of different beliefs, shaping my mind and heart according to the wisdom of each encounter.

And though I might live till only 30 (yes I still have this strong feeling in me), I wish that I could somehow experience being a great dad, provide for my own brood, even to my own kin, and be able to help others. Somehow along the way, I hope to find my purpose in life, and live a satisfied life.

And finally in the end, die with a smiling heart.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
(hehe tinapos ko agad tong post na to, nakatulugan ko kasi, tapos blanko na paggising ko, haha)

On another note, another thing I like about watching movies, is that I also get to watch the trailers. I’ll be waiting for this one…
Dragon Ball… Evolution… yey!

Golden Cowrie, Cebu

Define Filipino in tummy language. I’d say Golden cowrie.
Name: Golden Cowrie, Native Restaurant
Where: Salinas Drive, Lahug, Cebu or Lower Ground Floor, SM City Cebu, North Reclamation Are, Cebu City
Contact details: @ Lahug: (+6332) 233 4243; +63917 627 2551; @ SM: (+6332) 231 8530; +63917 627 2553
Cuisine: Definitely Filipino with a twist of Cebu, Bicol, Batangas and a whole lot more…
Food rate: Definitely 9 out of 10 if you’re a big fan of Filipino Food


Ambiance: Wood. You’d never go wrong with wood. Plus the place is surrounded with paintings for sale. No need for too much décor. But you’d definitely feel the Pinoy style in the place. Upon ordering, they’d give you your plate… a flat rectangular piece of capiz curved upward on two ends, laden with slightly heated banana leaf. One of a kind. Definitely sets the mood for much eating. But if you’re a person who drowns his rice in soup, better use the soup bowl, the capiz plate is just too flat to hold any liquid around.

Service: Everything is almost perfect. Except for the slow paced service. Though at least food usually comes at one go and not in staggered portions. Waiting for your bill may take a while. Never fails. So I suggest you come here with a friend to chat with.

Cost: What’s that word in tagalong? “Sulit.” Again I say “Sulit” (Worth every penny). The price is not just reasonable, its cheap. And the taste? Yuummm yuum yum!


Some Recommendations: If you’re into adding spice into your life? I’d recommend Chicken Halang haling, Bicol express. You can never go wrong with the classics, baked mussels/ clams, kangkong, crispy pata, and of course the sinigangs. The langka (jackfruit in coconut milk) and the laing is also a top choice for the veggies.

Overall Assessment: If you’re less adventurous in the small restaurants around cebu, this is definitely the place to go.

Note: My external harddrive died. So still have 20 restaurant reviews but I have zero pictures (yeah, it sucks really. It took me 3 years to collect those pictures). So for now, I would like to thank the following links for letting me borrow some of their uploaded pics:
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/207/524611105_f9d08a669d.jpg?v=0
http://picasaweb.google.com/erwong/AsiaTrip
http://soloflighted.com/foodtrips/

Looking for Durian in Davao?

D’ Farmers Market

Pryce Road F. Torres St. Davao City
Telefax: (+63 82) 225 4861

Looking for Durian to bring along to the airport? What if it’s not in its season?

Better look for Farmers Market. There you’ll find a wide variety of durian. You want the whole fruit? They have it. You want ‘em opened and packed? They got it all packed and airport friendly for you.

Worried about the smell? They have them frozen and placed in a plastic container (those microwaveable dish pans). Freezing the durian keeps the smell at a minimum. They’ll place it in a styro box to keep it cold and seal it with a tape to keep the odour out.

How to get there?

Tell your cab driver, you’re going to Farmers Market to buy Durian. Along Torres St., passing by the convention center, turn left to Pryce road and you’ll find Farmers almost in front of Landco.

Price range?

The D101 is the type I like. It’s sweeter and creamier than most variety. It’s priced around 120-150 a kilo (just the fruit without the tough exterior).

The native one is the strongest in smell and taste. If you’re a die hard fan of durian, you’ll probably love the bitter sweet taste of this durian variety. Its priced at around 180 per kilo.

The small styro box costs around 50 pesos. The big one, just slightly higher (60-70 pesos).

Other varieties are priced at 120-180 per kilo. The native one is the most expensive.

If you want durian Jam, it’s priced at 60 pesos per small container.

Support Philippine Tourism

Mabuhay Toileters!

Someone's Huling El bimbo

at kahit hindi rin naging kami sa huli... siya pa rin ang first love ko
(1)

I’ve been itching to blog about this for a long time already, but I dared not to, just to avoid jumping into the bandwagon of this Mcdo commercial craze. But I guess the itch was stronger than that caused by my brother’s hair lice, plus the fact that I love the e-heads.

And no, I’m not mourning over an old love, I’m perfectly happy where I am right now.

It starts with the camera confusion amongst the adults (it gave me a bit of a headache), until it pans to the two cute little kids who then grew up, still in the same Mcdo branch. (don’t they renovate?) The boy, all grown up, realizes that his first love now has a family (and a life) of her own. Then the popular line comes full blast. Paper cut. Gazillions of paper cuts. And I felt my heart bleed after that.

Bitter sweet. Like eating Toblerone dark chocolate, while crying over mem’ries from the twilight zone. Nuni nuni nuni nuni nuni

Right after the mind-stamping “pa-cheeseburger ka naman” comes this emo $#!+@. Geee! Thanks, McDo.

And then I realize, we all have our “huling el bimbo” moments… of dreams that were there but never materialized; of success that was just around the corner but we never really reached, and of course, of love that was wonderfully innocent but never really lasted.

Magkahawak ang ating kamay at walang kamalay-malayNa tinuruan mo ang puso ko na umibig na tunay (2)

It’s like lying on your rusty rooftop watching your favorite star shine brightly, and see that same star fade into nothing before your very eyes. And when this happens, we then watch the next beautiful star shine brighter than the first (or at least we hope to). Besides, they say that when a star dies, a new one is born (and no, I’m already past my 7 year-old fascination for astronomy).

But questions still crept up in between my coiled up little brain. What if one never finds his star? What if one finds himself alone until there is no more light left in him to shine? What if one was the cause as to why another star died? What if in all galaxies in the world, it was that one star that was meant for the other but the other just had to let it go? I say just go bang your head on the wall and put yourself in a sack (of course I am just kidding).

I say, “to each his own”. Stars are not all alike. Some are meant to be alone. Some come in constellations. Some come in pairs. Some come in threes. And no, I’m not talking about orgies or threesome. Perverts!! I’m talking about who, in the end, we find ourselves with.

Lumiliwanag ang buhayHabang tayo’y magkaakbay At dahan-dahang
dumudulasAng kamay ko sa makinis mong braso, hooh (3)

But in case you find yourself alone, don’t worry, you can always lead the Singles for Christ or embrace single blessedness in Opus Dei (and no, I’m not being sacrilegious, I’m dead serious). Point is, everyone has his/her purpose in life to fulfil. We don’t have the same destinies. Or if you find yourself alone, maybe you weren’t really looking. Train your eyes, they were meant to see those who are special (may they be your children, your parents, your nieces and nephews, your friends). Or maybe it’s not yet your time. Patience is, after all, a virtue. As to why it is important, is because it makes us pay attention.

Or maybe you’re just afraid. That’s just B@!#llsh&@t.

Sana noon pa man ay sinabi na sa iyo, hoh; Kahit hindi na uso ay ito lang ang alam ko (4)

Or maybe you’re just meant to be an old maid. Or maybe you don’t deserve to be happy (whoever thinks the latter needs to find better friends or maybe see a shrink).

Lahat ng pangarap ko’y bigla lang natunawSa panaginip na lang pala kita maisasayaw (5)

And in case you caused the death of one star, do not die with it. The important thing is to stay. Learn from each encounter. Wasting your light wouldn’t bring you back the star nor will it save you from persecution. The sweetest way to forgiveness is for you to make yourself shine brighter. So that when a new star comes, you would know what to do. Love is always a new thing. Whether you love once, twice or ten times in your lifetime you will always be faced by an unfamiliar situation but you can still be equipped with what maturity you’ve learned from those past loves.


And since February (the love month) is still a few more constellations away, I’d have to reserve the spread of love at a later time.

For now, I bid you all… listen to your heart.

CODA

La la la la, la la, la la, la la la [2x]

Why should I listen to my Heart?
Because you will never be able to silence it.
And if you pretend not to hear what it is telling you,
it will be beating inside your breast,
Repeating over and over what it thinks about life and the world.
- The Alchemist

- post-dedicated to little dipper who, I wish, finds big dipper .

note: some lines borrowed from Paulo Coelho and in case you can’t get a crap out of what I wrote, don’t worry, they have hidden meaning kasi

Translations
(1) And even if we didn’t became a couple, she’d always still be my first love
(2) Our hands intertwined, while not knowing that you’ve though my heart how to love truly
(3) Life gets brighter as while we are in each other’s embrace, slowly my hands slide off your smooth arms
(4) I wish I’ve said it before, and even if it’s out of fad, this is what I know
(5) All of my dreams suddenly faded, in the end I can only dance with you in my dreams

Welcome Toileters!

Welcome to the new Toilet Thoughts!

I think, I've found the right link, the right layout that will last for more than most of my old ones did, if not forever. Here's a quick welcome video for you all Toileters.

I would like to thank Remcyl for doing all these for free! Me kasabihan nga tayo, "The best things in life are libre!" (We have a saying, "The best things in life are free!") hehehe!

Sabi nga nila, pag may tyaga, may nilaga, pero since long life daw ang pancit, pancit nalang handa ko sa inyo!

(Pucha, eto nagagawa ng kakapanood ng Tanging ina nyo ni Ai Ai)

basta, welcome! welcome!

(pakibasa nalang po ung mga entries na di nyo pa nababasa, madami pa dadating hehe)

Random thought: I'm currently mourning over the death of my external hard drive. I couldn't open my files. "File corrupted," it says. I'm crossing my fingers for a good retrieval. *sigh*

Toilet Thought’s Predictions (Mga hula ng kubeta) for 2009

I’ve had my usual moments of being in a state of trans ala twilight zone. And as I look into my toilet vortex, I saw the future ahead of us all (as opposed to looking to a crystal ball, that is just so 40 years ago).

Despite the massive campaign for a bleak 2009, I just have to disagree with some evidence from what I saw in the vortex my toilet formed when I flushed a while ago. But of course, bad news is still quite inevitable.

Here are my Toilet predictions:

1. Traffic:

It’s going to get worse. (I know, you don’t need a future/ fortune teller for that, but I’d just have to add that since it’s the only one I’m surest, hehe). According to my fecal matter… it’s quite long… traffic will be congested, and yes, I was quite constipated.

But seriously, considering that there is a surge of cities giving birth to a bunch of traffic enforcers, green police there, brown police here, blue police there, and even pink ones, I can’t believe I’m now praying for an abortion. They think they help in easing traffic? No. I say no. I thought I’d never use money to get myself out of things, I say I was wrong *sniff*. Yeah there’s a story there.

2. Love

I smell the love in the air. And it’s not Glade air freshener. Its love I tell you, its love.

My fecal matter curled up to form one big heart, awwww, ain’t that sweet?

I saw flashes of the future when I saw the heart. Many will find their match this year. But do take care not to rush specially in the third quarter of this year. White roses and star gazers will be big hits. Teddy bears will loose their magic, since most will develop allergic rhinitis and asthma to them.

Bloggers with green backgrounds will have a steamy year. Those with black will have a peaceful year with some dreams/ matters of the heart falling into place. Those with brown background will still have a brown love life, earthy, the trees and flowers will be your companion. Those with blue, please be careful, you’ll be hurting a lot of hearts this year… one advice, safe sex for the blue backgrounders.

To you, who have been optimistic enough to find the book you’ve been waiting for, you’ll find the book opening this year.

3. Finance:

Considering the several circular/ round things I see in my toilet bowl (translation: yellow corn and malunggay leaves), I see a very prosperous year for many yellow skinned and green minded people. Hopia and porn will sell this year.

The financial crisis will still have its remnants from yesterday’s dinner, I mean, from last year’s crisis. But do have hope, eat green coloured food (no food dyes please) and you’ll find yourself producing green stuff as well. Money will follow suit.

Company raise and promotions will be scarce this year, but if you will find some means to invest your money in stocks or small businesses, you’d find yourself laying gold like the jack’s golden goose.

But considering how hard it was for me to get shit out of my ass, I say money will be elusive to some, so please do learn how to save, or even invest.

4. Education:

Mind you, “my dog ate my assignment” won’t work this year. I tried it, my teacher asked me to submit my dog’s poop instead, and it was a disaster. Try “my mom saw my porn and threw those in the fire along with my assignment” kind of approach. Let’s see what your teacher might want you to bring along next day. And no, I never had porn stacks in my room. *insert thunders and lightning* bwahahaha!

Those in law school will have a lot of case studies this year from all those things that will happen in the government. Med students will get to soothe these law school student off their toxic study moments and will hook up in the third quarter of this year (I told you I smell love in the air).

Engineering and math geeks will have a blast partying with art students. Many will fail this year’s Math 17 and Chem 18. But many will ace them this summer’s retake.

Can’t relate? Sorry ka nalang.

5. Blogging:

Toilet Thoughts will have a guest blogger this year. Toilet’s better half will make her appearance in the Toilet’s blog soon.

Be careful of changing templates of your blog. There is 80% chance of you losing all of your posts. Ask me how to add your banner when it doesn’t show after uploading a template. The toilet knows all. Hahahaha!

And as I look into my vortex of toiletdom, I see you, blogger crush… hmmm nothing much… I just want to insert you in this post and no, book lover, you’ve got the wrong person, we don’t have the same crush anymore, I’ve got a new one months ago. Hehehe.

6. Agriculture:

Agriculture will not be affected this year by the economic crisis. Kinda like when you eat yellow corn, comes out the same yellow corn with your shit.

Let us support the Philippine agriculture and buy Filipino harvested food. No need to import really.

7. Sports

Watching a boxing match isn’t bad, but please don’t forget you don’t get a percentage from Paquiao’s winnings, so you still better work your ass off, unless you want to get a career in boxing. My vortex says it isn’t a good idea, you’ll only look like cow’s dung after the fight.

8. You, reader

You got fat from the last holiday, I suggest going to the gym. But don’t worry, he/ she will still love you for who you are (eww, cheesy).

Stop eating chicken skins and pork fat. Don’t peel the chicken skin only to eat them last. The “Save the best for last” routine will be the end of your social life I tell you.

And as I flush my feces down the vortex, one piece kept coming back. No, this is not your ex. This will be opportunities giving you a second chance.

And because you, yes you, my dear readers, have been generous enough in giving your time for reading this blog, I give you my thanks and genuine friendship. And now, I leave you with a good luck charm, my dog’s fecal matter. Take good care of it. It will bring you much luck in the coming year.

Note: Many thanks to Remcyl for the banner and layout of my blog. Whatcha think?