When I saw the Klitori**

She was wearing red. With a pair of cross earings and a krypton-like crystal on her neck. She was hot. But don't get me wrong, she wasn't for the taking. She was "ate". Off limits. She was a godess. Unreachable to mere mortals. She is....

Klitorika.

6:00pm. Bo's cafe Cebu. I was going to meet Klitorika for the first time. First thought on my mind... "What if Klitorika isn't a girl?" What if she's really a 'he'?" Well, I was partly correct. She was pretty much a "babaeng bakla." hehehe.

6:05pm. I looked around Bo's cafe and couldn't see any trace of the Klitorika. I went to see the menu list on the counter. And after much deliberation, decided to look around again. An eye contact with a woman in red bade me to smile while thinking shit, what if that's not her and I was mistaken for a pervert. In split seconds, I planned my escape. But first instinct was right. She was indeed Klitorika.

I sat beside her, feeling quite akward, but slowly I felt at ease around her. She had her laptop turned on, showing me some noteable bloggers and some blogger tricks I had inquiries of. During this time, I got my copy of "Memoirs of Klitorika." A simple treat for me... for free. hehe.

Then she told me that Mr. Love-of-Her-Life aka luvidoods will be coming over to join us (I couldn't decide whether to refer to him as Mr. Klitorika or Mr. Dickory, kasi naman ung Klitorika pam babae lang, so Dickory sana pero parang ang sagwa).

Patay, I thought. Me bantay.

But when her luvidoods came, he was as accomodating as Klitorika and more madaldal.

I invited them both for dinner and got to know them more. They were such a nice funny couple. I know that part of their life story was written in the "Memoirs of Klitorika,' so I was excited to know them firsthand and place real faces on the characters on the blog and the book.

I'll reserve some of the juicy moments for a later post, plus some of the info I knew was written on the book, so I leave ya'll to know them more by reading the book itself, hehe.

Insert advertisement.

Wanna know more about Klitorika? Her adventures and misadventures in life? Her Mr. Dickory este Mr. Love of her life? I invite you all to support our fellow blogger and buy the "Memoirs of Klitorika" at your nearest National Bookstore.

Coming soon....

"Memoirs of Klitorika" A book review

(hahaha parang college days, me book review na nagaganap)

Sleep

Break up song. Sad, but very beautiful.

Sleep. A medium to freeze sadness hoping that when you wake up, all will be ok.

I'm still having some doubts whether I like the new Rivermaya, but I'd have to say, I still like how they make songs. Simple, yet it hits home.

Sleep

Tonight’s the first night
You’re no longer in my arms
A little colder
Nothing but the darkness and the stars

My hand wanders through
The space where you used to be
I really wish that you’d
Still come home to me

Until then I’ll sleep

Sleep.

Remember yesterday

When your smile filled every room

Imagined forever with you

Now you’re gone too soon

I can feel you calling

There’s no place that I’d rather be

Just here with you, sleeping

If only in my mind

Until then I’ll sleep

Sleep.

I can feel you calling

There’s no place that I’d rather be

Just here with you, sleeping

If only in my mind

Until then I’ll sleep

Sleep.



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Busy. hopefully I'll get to post a real one this weekend.

Fever. Still have one. Work. Lots of em. Zits. They're starting to come out. Stress. Synonymous to me. Mix them all up, you've got one hell of green brownish shit. Toilet Drama. My apologies.

What's my purpose?

It's that little flame that lights a fire under your ass

PURPOSE,

It keeps you going strong like a car with a full tank of gas

Everyone else has a purpose so what's mine?

- Avenue Q's Purpose

Back to reality. Birthday month ended prematurely with the news of my boss coming over to Manila to observe how I work (aka co-monitor). O well, that's life.

But i'll reserve my work rants for a later post. With this quiet weekend, I spent my whole day at home... sleeping and thinking. This kind of solitude usually gets me depressed, dunno why. Before, I just had to hop on my bike, pedal faster till the cold wind blows all the sadness away (along with the tears falling). but now, this weekend, I couldn't. Aside from feeling quite ill, the winds foretell rhino and corona viruses to be caught while riding the bike. Thus I failed to execute the ritual.

The sadness mainly stemmed from my seemingly lack of direction. With a lot of stuff including my carreer. I feel like I'm on a dead end. Then I ask myself... what should I be doing for the rest of my life? Would i be contented with what I have right now (of course the answer was no, afterall, I hunger for more in what life has to offer).

I remember watching Avenue Q and that Song about Purpose. Funny song, but it hit me like a priest's sermon. I suddenly find myself in one of the character's shoes. So what's next after I finish my BS in Pharmacy (of course I wanted a Pharm D or a PhD). But what's really next if for me to work my ass off to get money first to be able to execute my dreams.

A friend once said that after working his ass off and when he has enough saved up, he wanted to do what he wanted to do and do it the best he can without worrying about the bills to pay and stuffs. I guess this is the main problem with kids who were raised to be the head of the family. You can never do things you liked best doing because you'd be thinking of first of the life you'd want for your family rather than for yourself.

Yet again... i ask myself... WHAT IS MY PURPOSE? The eternal question to which I am always at loss with words.

I remember attending a Bo Sanches preaching with ones purpose as the topic. I remember him telling of this equation he heard from one seminar (john maxwell ata):

Purpose = Passion + Potential

I guess that's where I got a bit confused. What do I love doing (passion) and at the same time am

good at (potentia). Its kinda like American idol auditions. Some might have all the passion in the world for singning but simply doesn't have the potential for it. hehe.

I guess I have spread myself too thin. I never mastered anything but have at least tried learning everything. Jack of all trades, master of none... as they say. And to find things that i'm good at would pose as a problem. Well, I think i'm good in bed... but I don't think I can get a carreer out of that. hehe.

And at the end of this endless thinking... i still haven't gotten to a conclusion.

And now i still ask myself... WHAT IS MY PURPOSE?

and just to be fair... (pareparehas tayo maloko sa kakaisip) I pose the same question to you all. Have you found your purpose?

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you may find the lyrics of Avenue Q's Purpose here: Lyrics Purpose

Thank you (Last Bday Post)

A CakeA teddy, scrap book, a cake (plus a Marie Digby CD)
Fondue set, checkered scarf, cakeA cap, key holder/ signage, cologne/ perfume

It has been quite a long time since I last had a quick chat with God and thanked Him for all the blessings that I had. So I'm taking a short moment of my time to give Him all the praises.

Thank you Lord for this nice birthday. To say that I felt loved is an understatement. I was almost drowning in it (in a very good way).

Thank you Lord for the good food. I know you want to make me fat. To keep me from becoming "hot". I can settle for cute and cuddly.

Thank you Lord for all those who greeted me. I know you somehow made them remember somehow that your child deserves all the text messages, phone calls and whatever.

Thank you Lord for all of the gifts. I hope you didn't bully anyone to give all of them. But I do thank you not for the gifts of things but for the gifts of friends. Thanks for giving them to me.

Thank you Lord for friends who went out of their way just to give me a good bday celeb. Thanks to James for cooking tuna carbonara, lengua... etc. To tita jennet for cooking laing, pichy2x and puto and a surprise of homemade cheese cake.

Thank you Lord for new friends. Each day has been such a blessing. Sharing good food and tea and a real conversation is a treasure to cherish.

Thank you Lord for my family. Broken only by society's norm, but made whole by Your grace and love.

Thank you Lord for my work. I may complain a lot. But I know that you placed me where I am today. With this knowledge, I know you are always with me (deadlines, meetings, sleepless nights and all).

and lastly...

Thank you Lord for the gift of Love. That I may share it to others and more.

Petals of a Flower

Why ruin the perfect and beautiful petals of a flower

.

When you know from the start that

.

.

She loves you not

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Maybe the friendship is more important to save, than risk ruining it just to have what your heart desires.

Today I turn 25 (Bday week post)

Today I turn 25. Each year has been different, but this year seems to be overflowing with all the love the world can offer. I woke up this morning with all the greetings on my phone, even from my singaporean boss.

But i'd thank them all in another post. This post is dedicated to my Crime buddy. She left Cebu yesterday, but never failed still to surprise me on my birthday. Ok, I guess i already expected something from her as she is one sweet thoughtful girl, but I never expected so much effort and sweetness. To say that I am overwhelemed is an understatement. i almost cried (seryoso).

I woke up this morning (albeit unwillingly), to the endless blinking of my phone. I forgot it was in silent mode. And the endless knock on my door.

"Room Service!!!," the girl outside my door said.

"Later!" I shouted in return and went back cuddling with my pillow.

"Room service!" this time it was a guy, "Later!" i repeated the same reply.

They say the third time was the charm, "Room service," again I shouted "later!!!!!"

Then the phone rang. It was Ritchie, the girl from the executive lounge. "Sir happy birthday! Can you open the door, the service crew is waiting at the door to give you something." So that's why all the kakulitan happened.

I opened the door, bewildered by the big Blue Magic bag the cake, and the book thingy that I cannot describe. (Bewildered also because i realised I was in front of Ritchie and two other crew while i was still in my towel, no clothes on, but as I said before, I am a semi-exhibitionist hehe). Like an excited kid, i immediately got hold of the goodies and slumped back in bed ready to open them all. And these are what I found:

1. Marriot cake. classic. sweet. chocolate.
2. A big huggble teddy bear. The fur was just right for hugging. hhmmmmmmmm!
3. A marie digby CD. hehe knowing Crime partner, she hated Marie with all of her life.
4. And a Scrapbook with my pictures in'em. All the effort. That was why Crime partner;s hand were stricken with allergies. Elmer's glue was the culprit.

So now, I thank you crime partner. Though you're now back in Manila, the distance didn't stop you from surprising me. thanks sooooooo much. I'll be flying back later on to Manila. And i will give you one big huggggg!!!!!

Thank you. You've made my birthday so special. with cherry on top.

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shameless plug:
See how sweet my crime buddy is????? Is there any taker out there? Stable, tall dark and handsome? You wouldn't regret having her as your girl. Each day will be a moment to remember. promise! For those interested, text me: 09189796300. hehehe.

Salt on Coffee (Love story po ito)

(copied from Chinggay's Scrapgirl)

He met her on a party. She was so outstanding, many guys chasing after her, while he so normal, nobody paid attention to him.

At the end of the party, he invited her to have coffee with him, she wassurprised, but due to being polite, she promised. They sat in a nice coffeeshop, he was too nervous to say anything, she felt uncomfortable, shethought, please; let me go home.... suddenly he asked the waiter."Would you please give me some salt? I'd like to put it in my coffee."

Everybody stared at him, so strange! His face turned red, but still, he putthe salt in his coffee and drank it.

She asked him curiously; why you have this hobby? He replied: "when I was a little boy, I was living near the sea, I like playing in the sea, I could feel the taste of the sea, just like the taste of the salty coffee. Nowevery time I have the salty coffee, I always think of my childhood, think of my hometown, I miss my hometown so much, I miss my parents who are still living there". While saying that tears filled his eyes. She was deeplytouched.

That's his true feeling, from the bottom of his heart. A man who can tellout his homesickness, he must be a man who loves home, cares about home, has responsibility of home.

Then she also started to speak, spoke about her faraway hometown, herchildhood, her family. That was a really nice talk, also a beautifulbeginning of their story.

They continued to date. She found that actually he was a man who meets all her demands; he had tolerance, was kind hearted, warm, careful. He was such a good person but she almost missed him! Thanks to his salty coffee!

Then the story was just like every beautiful love story, the princessmarried to the prince, then they were living the happy life... And, everytime she made coffee for him, she put some salt in the coffee e, as she knew that's the way he liked it.

After 40 years, he passed away, left her a letter which said: "My dearest, please forgive me, forgive my whole life lie. This was the only lie I said to you---the salty coffee.

Remember the first time we dated? I was so nervous at that time, actually I wanted some sugar, but I said salt. It was hard for me to change so Ijust went ahead. I never thought that could be the start of ourcommunication! I tried to tell you the truth many times in my life, but IWas too afraid to do that, as I have promised not to lie to you foranything..

Now I'm dying, I'm afraid of nothing so I tell you the truth: I don't likethe salty coffee, what a strange bad taste.. But I have had the saltycoffee for my whole life! Since I knew you, I never feel sorry for anything I do for you. "Having you with me is my biggest happiness for my whole life. If I can live for the second time, still want to know you and have you forMy whole life, even though I have to drink the salty coffee again".

Her tears made the letter totally wet. Someday, someone asked her: what's The taste of salty coffee? It's sweet. She replied.

Love is not to forget but to forgive, not to see but to understand, not to hear but to listen, not to let go but to HOLD ON !!!!

Don't ever leave the one you love for the one you like, because the one youlike will leave you for the one they love...

Toilet Thought says: Sabay sabay tayo..... Aaaaawwwwwww....
(Ay pasensya na po, I'm just a sucker for sweet stuffs... haaaaaayyyy aaaawwwwwww)

Another Daddy Moment

(Its not yet my bday, sa thursday pa po, July 10)

Its my birthday month, I tell you. And its not helping much on my diet. darn. Last night my dad texted me telling me, bidding me not to stay out late. Reminded me that i have a flight to Cebu. I deliberately ignored the reminder thinking that my flight is not yet till in the afternoon. so, it didn't really matter if i stay up too late. Thus, the pasaway me heeded not my father's advise and stayed out late with friends.

Apparently, my dad still loves to surprise me. When I woke up this morning, my first destination was the fridge. And lo! What did i find? A birthday cake from one specialty bakeshop that my dad likes. He was supposed to surprise me last night. hmmmmmm.... bad kid...

hehe. But this morning was equally special. My dad had my stepmom cook me spaghetti (which i ate heartily with the cake). My sumptuous brunch before my 1pm flight. hmmm yummmm!

But of course, my dad woldn't fail to ruin my day. After finishing my meal, while standing somewhere overlooking the nice (I'm being sarcastic) view of our askal dog, I felt my dad go behind me and hold my waist... then as if on cue, muttered... "Ang taba taba na!" With that, I looked and digged deep for all the love i had for my dad, deep down in the recesses of my heart... but all was gone. Taba ha! Taba ha! Sino kaya mas mataba satin?

Then flashback... (twighlight zone sound nuni nuni nuni nuni nuni)... I remembered the crispy pata I ate at Abe's. The Pocher/ bulalao + lechon kawali in Cebu. The all you can eat rice. The cake. All the pastries and chocolates. The fried suman chocolate fondue.

And I now remember why I hate my birthday. I'm bound to really get all plumped up for market sale per kilo. Technically, Its my birthday month. All the inflow of good food just wouldn't stop. And now, i'm in Cebu. I can now feel all the future calories packing in my tummy.

Oh well, that's life. And i take that back. I love my dad. Though I'm thinking hard how will I get back at him for revenge. bwahahaha!

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Pahabol moment:
As usual with all my flights, I get to make another scene. I sorta slept at the mabuhay lounge and forgot the time. Suddenly as if God took over the speakers... he said, "Announcing the last call for passenger Jeffrey Gonzales, please board at gate S1. This is your last call."

Sosyal.

A Secret to Reveal

I've had some notion of this before, but never really thought about it...

Or more so likely... never wanted to think about it.

... until recently...

It took someone to point it out and tell it to my face...

something that I've somehow known before but never really admitted...

But now I'm coming to terms with this realization...

of myself...

... i'm coming out of this denial...

of this closet filled with skeletons...

I'm coming clean for my future partner...

... admitting it firsthand to the one who will love me... unknowing of this state of mine...

That person would have to know and be able to live with it...

Thus, with this site I shout to the world...

that I...

(Click and drag below the line to know more)

(subject to self destruct in x days)

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... I SNORE...

... Yes I snore...

... I know ok? tama na ang kulet eh ...

Well, not really bigtime. But I've been really stressed for the past weeks. Last week, Crime partner decided to bunk in my hotel room in Cebu to do reports together. By 3am, I just had to get some sleep. On that instant when I hit the sack... when somnus called loudly my name and I heeded like a puppy to his master... it happened.

Like a sudden tragedy, it happened. Crime partner woke up unwillingly from her own slumber and listened to the unwelcome sound. "Where the f*#%K is that coming from?" And saw me sound asleep... or more so with-sound asleep. I was snoring. But do understand. I was dead tired. I was. really. and the hundred times that I have slept. I have always been tired.

So there. I've come clean and let that out of my system. Now I can sleep peacefully. Knowing that whoever sleeps with me knows.

So there. Would you still sleep with me after knowing this? Be honest. C'mon!

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