Anxiety girl!

I remember reading an e card on Pinterest a while ago about "Anxiety girl! Able to jump to the craziest conclusions in a single bound!" Yep, that's me. I'm so stressed out and feel like I'm going crazy right now. I found a scorpion in our home last night and before I smashed it to oblivion, it took my peace of mind with it. I wish I could know for sure if he was the only one but then if he wasn't, I don't want to know if there are others lurking in the shadows. My main question is why? Why do they exist? What is their point? To completely freak me out and cause me to have an anxiety attack? Because that has now happened. I looked up anxiety attacks on the internet and all of the symptoms were correct. I was fah-reek-ing out. I'm so scared for Troy. The tamest scorpion sting can cause all sorts of problems in babies including death. How am I supposed to deal with that? And how am I supposed to sleep knowing there are possibly scorpions crawling in my home? The thought makes me feel like another attack is coming. Needless to say I have taken a Xanax and intend to find refuge at my mothers home or my mother in laws home. Both places have yet to see their first scorpion. :/ why oh why can't this house stop breaking? I just feel sick inside. I was so happy two days ago and loving my home and now I don't even want to be here. 😩 sorry for the downer post. I'm not about to be a fake plastic woman who pretends to be perfect though. I have real life issues and I need real life support from my family and friends. I don't want to hear the horror stories I want to hear the uplifting ones where the human prevails, not the bug. Haha so I had an anxiety attack? I'm not broken, I'm normal. I'll learn from this and grow. And I won't feel bad for taking a pill to calm myself down because I'm pretty sure if I hadn't, I'd still be convulsing.

Um ya...it's been a little while. 😁

So my last post was in March. Oops. Time is flying by over here people. I can't even believe my baby turned one almost a month ago! Troy is growing and developing so quickly! Everyday he is a little bit different. He learns so quickly! He is still toothless and not crawling, determined to be a baby forever! Haha I'm pretty sure he is teething though. Lots of drool and crying. Poor guy. :/ so to catch up from the last post, he did end up weighing 14.5 lbs at his 6month check up and I honestly skipped the 9 month check up. There weren't any shots at that check up and he wasn't sick so I just said "meh...he's fine!" Haha we still have to go in for his 12 month shots and check up. 😁 I need to get on that! Troy loves playing with other kids and loves doggies. He will let anyone hold him and loves to touch your face when you hold him. He does "snuggle mama" on command where he basically just puts his head down on my shoulder and snuggles me. And if I'm in his nursery, rocking him in the rocking chair and singing he will stay snuggled up on me forever until he falls asleep. 🙏 thank the heavens that my wiggly boy loves to cuddle his mama. He also knows how to say "baba" and I'm saying that's his first legitimate word! He loves to babble and crawls funny with one knee on the ground and one foot on the ground. It's a little skiwompus but so cute! He is wiggly and does not like to sit still unless he is sleepy or very interested in something. He loves Mickey Mouse clubhouse and gets so giddy whenever I turn it on. At his first birthday he went to town on his birthday cake and he loved all his new presents. But he especially liked the other babies who came and the balloons.  We went to Disneyland last weekend and he had a blast!! He loved every ride and was so interested in everything! We rode Ariel's underwater adventure first. We also took him to the Mickey Mouse clubhouse show which he LOVED. And we took him to see Mickey Mouse in his home in toon town. Mickey was so cute with Troy. He made cute sounds that make Troy smile really big and Troy loved Mickeys big face and nose. 😆 Troy loves his cousins and auntie Christy. He loves his twin cousin, Jane...a little too much. Haha he likes to grab onto her and her bows and Jane doesn't really love it. 😁 she tolerates him. Haha Jane and Troy had the same due date. (I have no idea how Christy and I managed that one!) haha I hope we can do it again someday! Oh man! There is so much to say! Troy loves his Dada and loves when daddy comes home from work. Todd loves Troy and is such a FANTASTIC daddy! And husband. He is such a hard worker! Speaking of hard work, we closed the deal on our house on August 9th and just moved in about three weeks ago? It was a nightmare. Water damage and we had to file a claim with USAA. It took so long to fix the house up to where we could live in it but now it's so gorgeous and we're so happy to have a home in the best area! I love being so close to everything! We love our new ward and we actually speak in church next Sunday. 😁 oh how I hate the stress of preparing to speak in public...but somehow once I'm up there I'm fine. It's weird. Well that's all for now. I will be better about posting. I also want to start posting about my interests. You know, fashion, hair, make up. Because the world needs another blog like that, right?! Haha

Lots of goings on

There is so much going on in our lives right now. I've been busy planning a bridal shower for my best friend, Margo! I love the invitations that I found on etsy. They are a little scandalous but so much fun! Can't wait for the shower! I'm also trying to get some projects done that I have laying around the house.  I want to make a plaque for Troy's bedroom that is yellow and white and says "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine." I sing him that song all the time, mostly when I'm nursing him before bedtime though. I think he likes it? haha

Todd and I are still looking for a house. We put an offer on one last week and are still waiting to hear if ours was accepted or not. Todd is working so hard for our little family! We are trying to save money for a down payment on a house and really what we need to do is make a budget. I've honestly never been a bad spender so I've never made a budget but I'd like to have one just so I know how much we are saving and spending each month. Anyone out there a budgeter and willing to send their template my way? :)

Troy is learning lots of new tricks! His most recent are rolling from back to front (YAAAY!)  and then front to back (Yay! He's been doing front to back since he was 2 months old.) He also likes to laugh at Buddy the doggy when he is running around in the backyard. He loves to swim and pull mom's hair. He is always trying to grab something, lately it has been my phone or my face when I am talking to him. I have to clip his fingernails pretty often because they are as sharp as a knife and hurt like heck when he grabs your skin! He is such a good sleeper and I honestly thank Heavenly Father for that every day when I pray. haha He slept a solid 12 hours last night! That is so wonderful but I think I'm going to need to get up and pump a couple of times during the night to keep my milk supply up!

I was going to go swimming with my girlfriends today but when I got to the rec center there were a million kids there and I realized it's spring break! So we left before any of them could direct their sneezes Troy's way. haha I'm kind of a germaphobe, especially when it comes to Troy. I don't know what I am going to do when he gets really sick, probably just snuggle him and cry. I'm a baby. Anyway, on our way home we decided to stop by the lactation consultants office to weight the bear-cub! He was 13 lbs and 13 oz! big boy! Well he's obviously not huge but at least he is growing really well! haha I'm just hoping that for his 6 month check up he will be over 14 lbs!

We got to visit lots of family yesterday at Stef and David's house. They are our cousins and their house is GORGEOUS. I'm obsessed! Troy got to spend some time with Great Grandma Lamborn and some of his cousins, aunts, and Vern and Laura's clan! It was a good time. Troy has started to get a little clingy though. He was making the cutest frowny face I've ever seen but it was kind of sad! haha If someone looked at him he would make the frowny face and start to cry! I have to get a picture of it. It really is the cutest thing. Anyway, I take that as a good sign that he loves him mama but I also don't want him to want me all the time! I want to be able to leave him with a sitter when we need a date night or temple time. It's a good thing he still likes his Grandma's because they might be the only exceptions to Mom and Dad!

Wow it's been way too long!

I am so bad with blogging. I don't know if I'll ever "like" it or "want" to blog. I just do it so I can have an online journal of our life. The only thing that is harder to do for me is to actually write in a journal. It's so much faster and easier to just type it all out.

Anyway, Troy has been growing and learning so much! I can't believe he is already 5 1/2 months old. Time is literally flying out of my fingertips and I just want it to slow down. My baby is doing lots of fun things now. He likes to sit up and stand up. He likes to sit on mommy's hip now so I have a free hand again! (Hooray!) He loves to go to Costco/the mall or anywhere that there are new things to look at. He loves to smile at anyone who plays with him. He has been rolling from tummy to back since 2 months old but he still has yet to roll from back to front! He is getting close though. He has discovered his hands and feet and loves to play with toys now. He puts anything and everything in his mouth so there is lots and lots of sanitizing going on! He loves to wiggle and kick his legs. He loves bath time, actually loves would be an understatement. HE LOVES LOVES LOVES bath time. He loves to laugh, talk, make noise and occasionally cry like it's the end of his life. haha

 He loves his mommy and I LOVE that. He ALWAYS gives me a smile, even if he is so sad and just wants to nurse and go to bed, I still get a smile. haha He loves his daddy too. I think he knows daddy because he always has a scruffy face so daddy kisses are the itchy kisses. haha Daddy also has warmer hands than mom.

So for the past little while we have been sharing the bedtime duties.  Usually I will get a bath going and Todd will bathe him while I am warming up a bottle for him and then Todd or I will give him the bottle and he'll end with nursing and then go to sleep! It works out nicely for us and we will switch it up so that we don't always have the same duty, well except for nursing...haha

He is sleeping SO well now! At 4-ish months we sleep trained the little tiger-cub. Basically we did the Dr. Ferber sleep training method. Well, it was our own method but it originally derived from Dr. Ferber's method. We let him cry it out in his crib and went in every so often to calm him down and kiss him but didn't pick him up. It actually wasn't bad at all! He caught on super fast and after a couple of days he was sleeping through the night and only waking me up once to nurse! It was fabulous. Now he actually sleeps through the night until the sun comes up and then wants to eat and usually goes back to bed. I'm just thankful for the amount of sleep he is getting and I am getting! And it is true, they really are happier when they get lots of sleep. He is the cutest and most smiley little bug in the morning! It's seriously my favorite!

He is still nursing all day and occasionally I will give him a bottle of formula, i.e. if I am at my brother's volleyball game or something and I don't feel like nursing. I felt bad about it at first but I really don't care anymore. haha He went 4 1/2 months with just breast milk and I think that is pretty good! I usually give him a half formula/half breast milk bottle before bed and then let him nurse a little too before bed and it seems to be keeping him full enough to sleep 8ish hours before needing me! I pump once or twice a day depending on how much formula he got. I just want to keep the breast milk coming because I really have no intention of weaning until at least a year. I love all the immunities and vitamins he is getting from the breast milk and I just love nursing! He bites me occasionally and I have tried the flick the cheek thing but he just thought it was funny and I'm not going to try to progressively flick harder because that just makes me feel mean and I can handle a bite here and there.

We have discussed giving him solids but I think we decided that we are going to wait until we feel like he really needs/wants to have solids. I know the new normal is wait until 6 months to give them solids but I think we might wait longer than that. We'll see! I'm just going with my mommy instincts.

We think he was teething a little bit the other week and having a growth spurt. I swear one day I picked him up and he was heavier and longer. He was also making weird grimaces and biting/putting his fingers in his mouth a lot and drooling. His naps suffered a lot but his night time sleep stayed the same! Thank goodness! I can handle crappy naps but I can't handle not getting enough sleep at night. I become a zombie and all we do is lay in bed all day if that happens.

We have been loving the weather here in Vegas. We love going on walks and running errands in the warm sun. We have been swimming lots with his girlfriends. (Amy, Candice and Rachel's babies.)

We are SO excited for the Clark family to move to Loma Linda for Bryan's residency in Anesthesiology! I've missed having my sister close by and 3 hours is not a bad drive AT ALL. I will probably be making that drive a lot in the next 4 years! I miss my nephews and niece. I love being able to see them grow up through facebook and with all the wonderful technology we have around.

Unfortunately Troy's other cousins on his daddy's side will be moving this summer to Indiana and that is just depressing. Kim (Todd's sister) was there for Troy's birth and she was an amazing help to me. She was my doula. I asked her to be there because I just love how calm she can make me and I trust her judgement. I remember when I was in labor and she would get right in my face and have me match her tone or would waft a handkerchief with essential oils on it in front of my face so I would remember to breathe in and out and let each contraction come and let it open me up to help Troy come out. I seriously just get teary eyed thinking about how sad it will be to see them go.  I will never do another birth without a doula. That's a whole other blog post though so I'm not going to get into that. haha

Troy's auntie Margo is getting married in April and we are so excited for that! Margo and I have been best friends since I think about 2003? We just hit it off in Student Council and started spending all of our time together! I can't wait for her to marry Drew. He is such a nice person and I can tell they are made for each other. I love seeing people who are so in love. I know my family is thankful that Todd and I are past the "always holding hands, kissing and sharing a seat" phase but I love seeing people in love. It's so cute and it takes me back to when Todd and I were literally inseparable.

Todd and I are still trying to find a home. We want to live in Henderson and unfortunately our price range is that same price range that investors are buying at so we get out bid every single time to investors who are paying cash. We know that we will get something eventually, it's just frustrating. But we are thankful for the wonderful apartment we have and it really is plenty of room for us. We don't feel crowded at all, we just want something to call ours and renting just isn't the same!

So anyway that is all I can think of for now. We are loving Troy and can't even remember how we lived before him. I know that is cliche but seriously, I can't imagine life without him! I sometimes will spend my entire day with him and then when I put him down to bed I will watch him sleep and then go to my bed and watch videos of him before I fall asleep. I think we can say I'm a little bit obsessed. And of course I think he is the cutest baby! haha I'm not biased at all... :)