now.... i'm starting drinking milk for my brains.. eat omega for my brains.. try to follow what the IQ book says for my brains.. i don't want to be stupied anymore.. Reincarnation: You are nice enough to go to heaven,
but Earth won't be as fun without you. As a
real optimist and lighthearted person, you
always see the good in things. People probably
respect you for your wonderful personality and
love for life. People like you make the world a
happier place (please rate my quiz)

**Where will you go when you die?**
brought to you by Quizilla :::smothered:::

3 MORE DAYS jade sent me a msg yesterday.. in 2003.. wat's something that you did that made you very happy.. wat's somethnig that you did that made someone very happy.. something for me to ponder abt.. :::smothered:::

my mum ok liao.. but she and my father still..erm.. shall not eleborate.. bought my sis and i to PS after her work.. then go walk.. and went to the damn 10bucks 10mins haircut.. kao.. my sis and i are victims man.. ha.. shall not eleborate.. just dun wei le it's cheap then go thr.. got scolded again for hair too short.. ah..ha.. took the NEL home... and someone that i wanted to see for ages.. just pop up in front of me and say "hi".. -grins- then my mum and sis immediately say.. "see see see.. people's hair so nice.." haha... fine.. now i made up my mind... next time i'll cut her hair style.. haha... iamsohappy!!!! :::smothered:::

yesterday.. my sis and i slept and one.. luckily she's small and she slept very well at the small cosy corner.. we've decided tt.. this is the worse christmas we've ever had.. and so next year.. will be the best christmas we will ever have.. so ironic.. we couldn't sleep.. coz it's just not our room..ha.. then she discovered tt thr's smth glowing on my table.. and it's actually the bottle of hearts tt miao gave me.. got and idea at tt moment.. and went digging for the glowing stars tt had been kept for abt six yrs.. pasted it on e celling.. the walls.. hard work man.. and tt idiot kept changing her mind on whr to put e planet tt she calls it her own.. ha.. she's still like a little kid.. easily cheered up by little things... decided to paste up hearts tt i folded myself.. but i din really glow when they're not together.. sigh.. ended up taking them down tis morning.. coz it really looks untidy in e morning.. ya.. she said it's e best night she ever slept so far.. the stars really glowed and every thing was simply beautiful.. the look of it just gives me e feeling of freedom... and unlimited space.. in e universe.. there'll always be a beacon of hope and light.. even in your deepest time i guess.. just hope things will stabilize soon... :::smothered:::

fuck.. things got worse.. how fucking inconvenient to share a toilet w my father.. my sis tinks it's fun to be kicked out of the room.. my sis thinks it's thrilling to go venture into an unknown place.. and make it our home.. my only refuge of everything.. the bathroom.. is gone.. now i'm using my father's bathroom.. that i hate it fucking much.. now.. i've nothing.. but the worst of all.. it's wat they have said.. and it's tearing me apart..' i need to cry.. -ihatemyself- :::smothered:::

:::smothered:::

it's really sorrowful... my family is breaking apart soon... my mum refuses to open the door.. the decision of who we're gona follow comes next.. and it all started because of my sis not doing her maths hw.. but it was blown up.. till now.. it's almost impossible to be sew back to pieces.. i feel terrible.. :::smothered:::

today's christmas eve.. for once i'm not excited about christmas.. guess the festive mood has faded off.. who will wake up with swollen eyes.. and and sad smile.. everything seems broken.. my father, mother, my sister and me.. everyone is tired of each other... and everything is just a plain.. "tired" christmas please pass soon.. so school will reopen soon.. :::smothered:::

today's christmas eve.. for once i'm not excited about christmas.. guess the festive mood has faded off.. who will wake up with swollen eyes.. and and sad smile.. everything seems broken.. my father, mother, my sister and me.. everyone is tired of each other... and everything is just a plain.. "tired" christmas please pass soon.. so school will reopen soon.. :::smothered:::

FUCKED! why must i always get misunderstood... me me me... everything is me.. why do i always get the shit! if you think that the more you see me the more you feel disgusted.. then fine! i'll jolly well isolate myself happy? when is school gona reopen..argh.. why must you always acuse me of something that i did not do.. that was not on purpose.. that wasn't me... WHY... why must you always make my sister stand out in front of me.. why must you make me look small and imferior.. why must everything go wrong for me.. my handwriting is ugly be it.. i warned you that i havn't been writing lately.. and it's horrible.. and you insisted that i write the name for ur boss's children.. i did the best i could.. and what.. saying that i did that on purpose.. that i did not do a proper job and just anyhow do.. FUCKed.. you want everything of me to be as perfect as you.. and pls.. i din slam e fucking door.. the wind was blowing at that time.. and the door just "bang" i every got a shock myself.. and i even told you sorry and it was accidental.. and wat do i get. wrong accusements again.. i didn't do it on purpose.... and i simply don't want to argue anymore... who was the one who helped you do the housework when you're busy. my sis is merrily watching tv.. which i'm the fucking idiot. who thinks that it's late and help you to clean up the stuff.. and boil the fucking water. then wat do i get. more scoldings for being busybody.. for boiling the water when i can't pour it into the kettle.. Fucked.. maybe i shuldn't feel worry for you.. i should just watch tv.. why do i always cause trouble and get scolded in the end. why do i work so and be the one whos' call lazy and irresponsible.. why don't you see that i'm actually the one who's doing all the shit.. why must all praise and credits go the my sis. and why must all the fucking stuff go to me.. i'll only bring your sister to this.. i'll only do this for your sister... HAHA.. this is really so funny..... i'm just the one.. the fucking scapegoat.. the one who she accuses of a rude iditot..... when my father and sis are scolding her behind her back.. when i'm the fucking shit who asks them to stop it.. and wat kind of fuck. i'm the one who gets all the fucked.. my sis can get angry when she says something wrong. and she'll accept it.. me... even if she accuses that i kill someone.. i'll have to pretend to say sorry... pretend to smile.. and pretend to be happy always after all the injustice. pretend to hum some happy songs.. pretend to talk to my sis.. pretend to talk to her.. and get ignored... and if i be myself.. i'll be worse.. if i'm such an irritating person.. tell me .. and i'll kill myself.. -ihatemyself- :::smothered:::

i'm gona visit my grandmother and father.. ha;) for once my father allowed..
Congratulations! You're Gandalf!

Which Lord of the Rings character and personality problem are you?
brought to you by Quizilla ha.. tis' cute.. i din watch e movie so i dun really noe wat it's talking abt..hah :::smothered:::

wat's e rubbish.. some jobs that deals with counciling.. ha.. wat lameo.. iwanttobeapoet haha.. my sis luffing her head off.. :::smothered:::

the damn guzhen exam was ..arh.. screwed up.. damn it.. my damn finger got stuck halfway.. and i'be got to pull it out.. which gave tis irritating sound.. then i forgotten some parts.. paused for a few times... played wrongly a few times.. and etc.. i just ruined the two songs.. arh.. luckily i managed to pass.. phew -wipe sweat- wat a great relieve.. haha. my sis more bez. she was shivering so badly tt her legs were.. shaking uncontrollable.. haha.. then she missed a whole big impt part of the first song.. but her second song was damn perfect.. argh..sigh.. why do they have to do these to torture us.. screw.. :::smothered:::

you can really tell how much i gona.. the dumb gu zhen exam is today... and i'm still making so many dumb mistakes.. can just screw up the whole damn thing.. somemore tt ass hole hates me like shit.. if not for my mother.. i'll have quitted this whole damn thing long ago... oh my gosh.. just hope tt he'll let me pass.. and GOD BLESS ME... :::smothered:::

Compassion: You are there to share your sympathy
with others. People would consider you
affectionate and caring, and someone to look up
to.

Which Characteristic From the Samurai Code Matches You Best? (You may find out your best trait)
brought to you by Quizilla You are Fresh Mint. You are caring and friendly. You have a nurturing personality and always help out a friend in need. You are fairly outgoing, and always show a friendly face. You truly care for other people, and you show it. However, you may neglect your own responsibilites or become over involved in your friends' personal affairs. Most Compatible With: Orange :::smothered:::

i've made up my mind... i'll just give in to whatever you say.. in this way.. everyone will be happier... at least.. just whatever... not feeling anything... is always the better way out.. stoned... :::smothered:::

just read the papers.. saddam has been captured.. HA HA.. like so ironic... tis man caused many lifes.. and killed many pple... sometimes we've got to admit tt thr r really... people with very different status.. he caused many death.. and he's only using ONE life to repay then.. it's really weird.. but he'll get his just deserts some day..? and look at the thai refugees... thailand has been progressing and yet.. no help has been given to them... yes they are the minorities... but it's ard 230 000 their dealing w.. they are someone like -born to suffer-.. coz'.. they're really extremely poor.. and it really hurts to see how little they have.. and how lucky we are compared to them.. one day...2 meals.. cold rice.. and chilli... once in a while.. cold rice..a slice of cucumber..kangkong..chilli.. plus their eating the same things day in day out.. a slum as a clinic.. a slum as a house.. no blankets.. for the cold night.. hardly any meat... no soap.. pratically nothing.. it's pratically like all they're worry abt is... will they survive to the next day.. i mean.. it's really different... why are thr so many injustice in the world.. and why are people born different... nobody knows.. so suggested tt it's bcos they did bad things last life..? so are they saying tt thr are so many bad pple.. and all of them..including the children are bad..last time.. so will saddam be like one of them.. or will i be like one of them.. sigh.. just feel lucky that u're in this life.. and it's good... thank god.. ::smothered:::

yeah.. i've got a grey unbrella!! i'm so happy!! ;) -smiles- :::smothered:::

1. First Name: loh, i guess.. 2. Were you named after any anyone? nah 3. Do you wish on stars? erm..nope..but i like them..;) 4.Which finger is your favourite? pinky! 5. When did you last cry? Yesterday night. 6. Do you like your handwritting? erm.. it's ok 7. What is your favourite meat? erm..chicken? 8. Any bad habits? Yes. a lot.. 9. What is your most embarrassing CD on the shelf? some damn gu zhen CD.. 10. If you were another person, would you be friends WITH you? tink so.. 11. Are you a daredevil? : Nope.. 12. Have you ever told a secret you swore not to breathe a word? Yep..i guess so.. 13. Do looks matter? : Yep..it sure does.. and i sure dun have it.. 14. Have you ever misused a word and it sounded absolutely stupid? : der! look at my eng standard.. 15. Do you think there is a pot of gold at the end of rainbows? : small chance.. 16. Do fish have feelings? : guess so.. 17. Are you trendy? : dun tink so.. 18. How do you release anger?: erm..myself? 19. Where are your second homes? : Crescent. 21. What was your favourite toy as a child? dunno..forgot all abt my childhood.. 22. What class in school do you think is totally useless? : none.. 24. Have you ever been on radio or television?: NOPE!!! 25. Do you keep a journal?: Yep.. 26. Do you use sarcasm a lot? tink so.. erm.. my sis suggested YES... 27. Have you ever been in a mosh pit? wat's a mosh pit? 28. What do you look for in a guy/girl? ? erm... character i guess.. i dunno.. 29. What are your nicknames? : Hathair 30. Would you bunjee? : dunno..maybe 31. Do you un-tie your shoes when you take them off? : Nope.. 32. What are you worried about right now? : my lousy results.. 33. Do you ever wear overalls? Nope..used to .. 35. What's your favourite ice cream flavor? : cookies and cream 36. Whats your favourite colour/s? : yellow, grey.. 37. What is your least fav. thing in the world?: erm.. being forced i guess.. 38. How many wisdom teeth do you have? : none.. 39. Are you in love with anyone? erm.. i seriously dunnoe... 40. How many people have a crush on you right now? : nah..none.. who will be so blind??? 41. Who do you miss most right now? serene... hey, i'll miss you a lot buddy... :::smothered:::

why are there so many masks that i need to wear.. when can i start being myself.. -wonders- :::smothered:::

I wanna heal I wanna feel What I thought was never real I wanna let go of the pain I've felt so long (Erase all the pain 'til it's gone) I wanna heal I wanna feel Like I am close to something real I wanna find something I've wanted all along Somewhere I Belong when will i start to heal.. yet i dun ever want to feel... just let me stone let me be just simply numb to them.. save the pain.. :::smothered:::

i've promised myself.. i'll not shed another tear for you.. never.... :::smothered:::

i stood at the window.. and let the wind blow at me.. it was a great feeling... seeing the sun set... is truely a good feeling..:::smothered:::

wanted to sleep early yesterday.. 11 plus... then mum gave me an IQ test abt health.. erpz.. ard 1145.. sis came in.. then slept for few minutes.. woke up again... culdn't sleep back.. ;( ended up thinking abt sec3.. tot abt e first day of sch.. whr i culdn't find e class.. ended up wandering ard..haha.. then abt e voting.. and wat mr m said... discovered tt all those he said.. WERE PLAIN JUNK none of them seemed to b true.. and as wat he had expected... the first half year.. was quite plain... first time i broke down insch... yep..before june holis.. after tt... countless.. discovered tt when i'm down.. miao's always thr.. ;) ha..tks.. ha.. then.. half year... -disappointments.. -betrayal -family probs. -studies -sorrow -friendship -joy -fear -tears -discoveries -missed chances -blood -touched blah blah blah.. though sec 3... i hated the life.. but it's e year i enjoyed most in crescent.. :::smothered:::

went sch.. took back my shoe and stuff.. gosh.. e class in a terrible state... disgusting lor.. went long johns.... eat... yep.. nothing much.. on e whole... I SLACKED THE WHOLE DAY!!!! :::smothered:::

i just dun understand... i'm already 15.. why can't you just give me more freedom.. i know tt you care.. but tt;s not the way things shd be done... and WHY... why must everything be pushed to me.. why must i take the blame for everything... everything you scold me first.. even if it's not my fault.. it's also my fault.. even my sis oso discovered tt she likes to pick on me.. so it's confirmed.. it's a reality... ihate being the scapegoat... ...if you haven't been caged as a bird... u're nevery know how it feels... :::smothered:::

I'LL STUDY SWEEP E FLOOR STUDY LUNCH USE E COM PRACTICE GU ZHEN STUDY darn... i'm sick of tis lifestyle... img src="http://images.quizilla.com/E/EerieFreek/1061473160_GIRLY-GIRL.JPG" border="0" alt="GIRLY GIRL - Clever Kitty">
A GIRLY-GIRL. You dont have a lot of self-esteem
and people are always bringing you down for
being sad. What do they know, anyway? You feel
like youre too mature for your age and are
frustrated by the trend-followers who refuse to
accept you because youre not like them. Your virtues: Intelligence, understanding nature,
modesty. Your flaws: Lack of social life, inferiority
complex, timidity.

What kind of girl are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
SELENE: You are selene!
Beautiful, vivacious,
fierce and seductive, Selene vowed she would
destroy Lycans after her family was murdered by
the werewolves. So ruthless is she that selene
is a member of the Death Dealers. This elite
Vampire warrior class's mission is to make the
Lycans extinct. This 127-year-old
"aggressive hunter of the underworld"
combines a mastery of ancient weaponry with
modern pleasures, such as driving Jaguars and
using computers. However, Selene's ambitions
are suppressed by Kraven. She longs for
Viktor's reawakening so that he becomes the
Vampire's regent once again.

Ever wish
you could be a vampire?
href="http://quiz.ravenblack.net/blood.pl?biter=Archangel">Then
Click Here to become a Vampire!

Which UNDERWORLD character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla :::smothered:::

As if you were born into a world of tears, you
always tend to look at the darker things in
life. Inside you crave attention yet push away
society, and you're a hopeless romantic. Drawn
to things like the occult and mysteries, you
spend your time daydreaming of "What
If's".

What Type of Soul Do You Have ?
brought to you by Quizilla :::smothered:::

why do i always have to do what you want me to do... why do you want to talior my paths... can't you give me some air to breath... can be you more reasonable... stop always blaming EVERYTHING at me... when can you start making things clear... stop these fucking attitude will you... and be the "mother" i used to noe... :::smothered:::

just heard a bad news.. darn.. i'll miss ya.. luv ya too.. ;) dun have e mood to blog nemore.. darn... :::smothered:::

Liu Qiao Gui

WhO iS uR wEsTsIdE sToRy LoVeR
brought to you by Quizilla lame like shit... haha... Congratulations! You have an understanding of the
goth culture!

A True Goth Quiz (now with pics)
brought to you by Quizilla erpz.. how horrible can e pic get..? :::smothered:::

Your soul is bound to the Solitary Rose: The
Alone. "When I wake up alone, the shades are still
drawn on the cold window pane so they cast
their lines on my bed and lines on my
face." The Solitary Rose is associated with loneliness,
melancholy, and patience. It is governed by
the goddess Merope and its sign is The Sword,
or Unrequited Love. As a Solitary Rose, you may be summed up as a
hopeless romantic. You desire love and have so
much love to give, but thing just never seem to
work out the way you want them to. In life,
you can be very optomistic, even when things
are gray and nothing works out to your
expectations.

What Rose Is Your Soul Bound To?
brought to you by Quizilla ::ALONE:: hey... isn't tis e same result as... erm.. nvm... darn.. :::smothered:::

yep juz came back... i mean.. back on tue night. was quite fun.. but i dun tink i'll wan to go thr again.. nah.. the weather damn dry.. and HOT shopping for two days... sian like nething... but my sis and mum enjoyed.. darn.. -ihateshopping- esp when i've got nothing to buy.. got so shirts...and some stuff... nah.. on e whole.. it's not so bad... ;) :::smothered:::

just got pissed... damn it... :::smothered:::

On Eagles Wings And he will raise you up on eagles wings Hold you on the breath of dawn Make you shine like the sun And hold you in the palms Of His Hands Reading a book "I carried you on eagles wings" reminds me of the chorus of this song... church song k... liked it a lot.. kinda rep. freedom... :::smothered:::

i'm going thailand.. w my mum.. my sis.. and me... my dad can't be bothered.. nv been thr before.. and he...juz made up his mind of going bc to his dearest.."malaysia" can i faint... tink we die thr he won't even be bothered.. i suddenly pity my mum... can i survive..e whole week 24/7 w her... -confused- :::smothered:::

had a bad night and morning today.. mum's monopausing... was scolding so much last night.. cursing and swearing... yep..all e way until 1230 i tink i fell asleep halfway.. then she shouted "are you listening to me" and i dun wake up.. until my sis shoke me... obviously she went mad.. but i din really showed much expression... i'm really tired of listening to her scold me.. for pratically nothing.. she can make up so many shitted things to say abt me.. i went back to sleep... woke up at eight plus.. laid in bed and thought abt yesterday.. was waiting both of them to go to work.. she din.. slept back.. woke up at 10.. her handbag is still thr.. din want to wake up.. din want to face her.. din want to face reality... until 11plus.. she came in and shouted for my sis and i to wake up.. shout...shouting and more shoutings....... i noe she said a lot of things... but my ears were off... i've caught nothing.. all i rem.. is her saying i'm junk... i'm dumb.. i mean yep.. said tt she rather have other children then have my sis and me.. said tt she hates us.. she's not coming home.. she..... i dun noe.. a lot of curse and swearing.. all do all e fucking housework at home.. all the fucked.. every single thing.. wanted me to clear all my books.. tried explaining tt i need e text for next year.. she told me to "shut up and dun argue..." it's ok... can i say... ::numbed:: in short... i hate my irresponsible father.. who noes nothing than to slim down.. to watch tv.. to sleep.. to eat.. to watch his fucking pon... and all his irresponsibilty.. i've quited talking to him.. in fact..i only answered to his fucking questions... i hate my mother.. for shouting.. making me look junk.. making me noe how horrible i am.. wat a loser i am.. how dumb in studies i am.. how much money she wasted on my tutions.. my fucked results.. my uslessness... all those fucking things abt me.. i hate myself... for all i am.. do i have a choice to start liking myself.. start liking life.. do i have a choice.. NO :::smothered:::

went to sch.. din go for e dumb quill farm thing.. sian.. did one chap of emaths.. the go eat lor mee w reb.. and go take bks.. oh ya.. dunno which idiot go and lock my class.. and lock e windows somemore.. sigh.. slap e person's face lor.. then.. nothing much lor.. come hm liao.. tinking of an excuse of wat to tell mum for not going quill farm.. argh.. muz lie again... hate it when i muz lie... din meet anyone one i wana meet today.. wasted my trip.. ican'tfeelyouthere two prisoners looked through the bars.. one saw the brown mud.. the other one saw the stars... i love the stars.. by the sky is clouded...

You come from the Night Sky. You're drawn to the
stars and planets, and it's no wonder why, you
came from them.

Where Did Your Soul Originate?
brought to you by Quizilla
Your Bring Me To Life, you are happy at times and
sad at times. Sort of wripped in 2. You need to
find yourself and stick with it.

Which Evanescence Song Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Old. You'll have a long (happy?) life and you'll
die at a very elderly age. Like 80 or
something. Nothing to roll your eyes at, eh?
Probably from a disease or something. You
wanted to die young, because you're a bit of a
slug and don't have many goals, but you never
get what you want.

At what age will you die?
brought to you by Quizilla i wan to die now...
SPIRIT is your chinese symbol!

What Chinese Symbol Are You? -- Updated (7/21/03)
brought to you by Quizilla
You were made to sing!!!!!! Confidence is your
middle name, and you are ready for a solo
career.

Were you meant to sing?
brought to you by Quizilla
You're the sad smile,the one that regrets nearly
everything and is constantly wondering about
what could have been.You're not happy with your
situation and usually blame yourself because of
the bad things that have happened.Cheer up.

What Kind of Smile are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
You are a Pen

What writing utensil are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Noon - You are pleasant, friendly, and an overall
nice person. You enjoy the energy and activity
of the daytime, and tend to be very productive.

When are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Rhinestone Ring

What type of jewelry should you be?
brought to you by Quizilla two prisoners looked through the bars.. one saw the brown mud.. the other one saw the stars... i love the stars.. by the sky is clouded...

juz got a stomach ache.. irritating... muz ruin my morning can.. yesterday chem tution sux! wah lao.. towards e last half an hour.. i'm already half asleep.. then after e lessons ended.. the fat ass let everyone go except me.. say wat "the rest can go..u stay.." wat an ass lor.. muz malu me isit.. damn.. then make me re-explain the whole damn thing on electropositivity.. shit.. so angry lor.. stayed until 810.. damnit... but it's gd in a way.. coz tt dumb thing finally got into me.. but argh.. can't can e fat ass lah.. now my mum wans me to go for his a maths tution.. damn.... Mum, very hurt and angry w my sis and me.. shit... she tried to tell us smth abt e thailand trip. but my sis and i busy playing icy tower.. i mean.... it's tt i'm juz not interested.. and then forced my sis to shut down e damn com. and listen to her nag and scold... say tt we're not concern.. and blah blah blah.. then for some reason dunno why she ends up scolding me again... my sis juz sat there and rot.. while she's scolding and scolding me abt all sorts of stuff tt're not related... it's not tt i dun wana listen.. actually i just wan to tell you tt "i'm just numb to your voice..." wateva you tell me.. i juz let it wheeze pass... i'm no longer interested in listening to you... you can say and scold for all i care.. i'll not bother.. method taught by pple.. but now... when i juz try to treat her voice by closing a deaf ear.. she scolds me for not bothering... so wat am i suppose to do from nowonwards... start paying attention to her every single word..in the past.. and get hurt like the pass... i just dun noe.. and i guess i'll juz choose the can't be bothered path... just wateva... "i'm sorry" yes yes.. said i was a very unappreciative person... said tt i was like my father... friends first.. nv care for the family... and make me say tt i'm like my father... how can she... doesn't she know HOW MUCH I HATE MY FATHER... and she's forcing me to say tt i'm like my father... how idiotic... how can i be like my father? if i am like him.. i'll.......... i'll just hate myself even more... and my mum also said tt i friends can't help me... will they give you a house to stay if you have none.. will they look after you when you're sick.. will they give you money if you are broke.. NO NO NO obviously they will not.. they will not.. they have their own families.. their own lives... so then.. i'm left back into e square one.. i'm alone.... shit... wat kind of a loner.. i was just thinking.... if one day i'll commit suicide.. who eva who read this.. pls help me to tell those i noe tt i love them two prisoners looked through the bars.. one saw the brown mud.. the other one saw the stars... i love the stars.. by the sky is clouded...

guess wat.. my mum suspects tt i'm a lesbian still warn me.. stop being "funny" in sch.. argh... and guess wat.. i act lah.. "dun be crazy.. it's impossible.." and hiz..kinda of got a stern warning from her.. fine..wateva.. speak of the angel who disobey... LINKIN PARK LYRICS "Numb" I'm tired of being what you want me to be Feeling so faithless lost under the surface Don't know what you're expecting of me Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes (Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow) Every step that I take is another mistake to you (Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow) [Chorus] I've become so numb I can't feel you there I've become so tired so much more aware I'm becoming this all I want to do Is be more like me and be less like you Can't you see that you're smothering me Holding too tightly afraid to lose control Cause everything that you thought I would be Has fallen apart right in front of you (Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow) Every step that I take is another mistake to you (Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow) And every second I waste is more than I can take [Chorus] I've become so numb I can't feel you there I've become so tired so much more aware I'm becoming this all I want to do Is be more like me and be less like you And I know I may end up failing too But I know You were just like me with someone disappointed in you [Chorus] I've become so numb I can't feel you there I've become so tired so much more aware I'm becoming this all I want to do Is be more like me and be less like you [Chorus] I've become so numb I can't feel you there Is everything what you want me to be I've become so numb I can't feel you there Is everything what you want me to be my whole life is all about being wat you wan me to be.. i dun have my life.. i'm just living in a shell created and controlled by you.. and i'm juz someone--shell without a soul... ... ... NUMB-ed..i'm just numb... two prisoners looked through the bars.. one saw the brown mud.. the other one saw the stars... i love the stars.. by the sky is clouded...

Anti Social/asshole!You're the type who just
doesn't give a fuck! people think of u as often
times mean, but you're truthful, U don't care
or don't know... you can get yourself in
trouble @ times because of the way u are, but u
kno better...and everyone else knows u do!

What type of person are u??? (Both sexes! MANY POSSIBLILTIES!)
brought to you by Quizilla
You are philosophy. Studied by a huge, poorly-paid
community of great intellectual minds, you are
always providing more questions than answers.
You exist to plague humanity with
overconfidence and, at the same time, soul-
shaking uncertainty. People take you seriously
- if they take you at all, that is. I mean,
you're probably required to graduate, aren't
you? href="http://www.sunclan.org/sun.htm">Click
here for another time consuming study-
distraction!

WHAT KIND OF QUIZ ARE YOU?
brought to you by Quizilla you are the rabbit calm and peaceful most of the
time but when you get mad you get mad!!

what type of animal are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
You are Lyserg's spirit - MORPHIN the light fairy!

What Shaman King spirit are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
hand holding - you like to be in constant physical
contact with your special someone but you don't
want to take things too quickly.

What Sign of Affection Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla yep seriously i like holding hands.. it juz tt i dun tink i'll ever get e chance... ... ...
You represent... happiness. Boy, are you full of cheer or what...? You have a
sunny disposition and enjoy trying to spread
your happiness. You have a tendency to be a
little hyper, but you have the ability to make
your own fun no matter what.

What feeling do you represent?
brought to you by Quizilla Umm, you might consider suicide maybe a total of
about 10 times in your life. You think that
sometimes life can become too stressful and you
just wanna leave it all behind and die. But
don't worry. It will pass in time. I hope you
liked the quiz! Please Rate!!! `-)

Are you going to commit suicide? (PLEASE RATE) `-)
brought to you by Quizilla Congratulations! You have an understanding of the
goth culture!

A True Goth Quiz
brought to you by Quizilla u suck... u take sumthing and ruin it, u destroyed
it, punk is now a style thanx to u fucker

PUNK QUIZ... GIVE ME A 5! PLZ
brought to you by Quizilla two prisoners looked through the bars.. one saw the brown mud.. the other one saw the stars... i love the stars.. by the sky is clouded...

i saw someone i wana c.. yep.. discovered new things again.. hiz.. maybe next time i'll stop smiling so much.. i didn't know smiles can hurt ihatemyself two prisoners looked through the bars.. one saw the brown mud.. the other one saw the stars... i love the stars.. by the sky is clouded...

stuck in sch.. some dumb ie course.. hmph.. wat kind of a weird shit., argh... two prisoners looked through the bars.. one saw the brown mud.. the other one saw the stars... i love the stars.. by the sky is clouded...

just told my a maths tutor tt i dun wan tution w her.. tink it's horrible.. i've even got problems getting those words out of my mouth.. argh... as in .. she's really a very nice person.. but i'm just simply too dumb for her.. as in her teaching is really profound... and i'm too dumb to understand.. and somemore she so nice. say tt next time if i still need help can call her... and ya.. makes me feel really bad.. and sumore.. still say.."good luck for your maths" why am i so dumb!!! got my specs.. my says i look horrible in it.. my sis says it's un-seeable.. my dad juz smiled..expressionless.. wateva.. w or w/o spec... i look horrible.. argh.. two prisoners looked through the bars.. one saw the brown mud.. the other one saw the stars... i love the stars.. by the sky is clouded...

juz when i think i'm recovering.. that i'm kicking of the depressing mood.. it came back again.. yes... last night.. i've got scolded for no reason again... wateva... but it's ok i'm used to it.. but then.. it just ruined my whole plan of trying to get back to my old self.. yes.. the blackness came again.. and i'll descend.. true... woke up at 11plus.. too exhausted physically and metally... slept back.. got courage to wake up finally.. before i step out.. i told myself.. time to put on tt fucking mask again.. and act happy and cheerful.. how'm i gona survive e holidays.. i miss school... two prisoners looked through the bars.. one saw the brown mud.. the other one saw the stars... i love the stars.. by the sky is clouded...

Triage anderson scott "Because you are a fallen angel and you have lost all hope of redemption." "pain is the moset private things in life. if you don't understand this, if you continue to believe someone else holds a solution, then you will never be saved." "There were times when it seemed he was recovering, times when he was happy. Bright signs of progress. But then the blackness would come over him, a despair that was overwhelming." "But it was a love of desperation" "And there were many times when i was almost ready to let him go, but then, the blackness would come again, and he would descend." " i think this was the crying, the relief of knowing he did not have to try anymore, that the burden of hoping was gone..." "In her eyes was a numbness, and exhaustion" "I've known long from the beginning that there was more, that there was something you weren't telling me, and, again, i tried to respect your silence. But now it's time. You have to tell, You can't go on any further." Yes.. this is one of the best book i've read so far.. watever it is...i somehow is able to relate to myself.. and for some reason... i feel that my troubles are nothing.. compared to the people out there... TRIAGE...................... yes.. a very deep word.. that runs in my veins... two prisoners looked through the bars.. one saw the brown mud.. the other one saw the stars... i love the stars.. by the sky is clouded...

i saw someone gona cut herself.. but i din't stop her.. all i did was " dun cut too deep " and gave nothing more than a weak smile.. i really feel so much as a loser.. but nothing can be done.. cutting is more of a release... then anything i can think of ...

TRIAGE scott anderson "gripped by a loneliness anyone that he had ever known." "What happened to the scars that never acknowledge? Did they just go away? It was a thought, the beginning of an idea, that made his heart race, but Mark couldn't be sure if this racing stemmed from fear or from hope" "one story, one pain, bled into the next, and they spilled out until there was nothing left to hold." "forlorn" watever it is.. "forlorn" is the exact word i'm searching for... "Before you can appriciate the rainbow.. YOu must first embrace the rain" --i'm deflated--

bunk: play truant. run away... yes.. there's e pun.. wateva k... juz wateva.. "two prisoners saw through the bars.. one saw the brown mud.. the other one saw the stars..." i love the stars.. but my sky is clouded..

fine.. weird.. watched e channel U show.. on e search treasure one.. and suppose to sms.. some dumb code.. them my sis and i oso msg.. but i recieved a msg.. "i didn't realised that angels actually fly so low.." is that suppose to be a pun that i'm lucky.. or wat?? huh? haha.. cutting cloth.. i tink inventing emails rox.. hah.. realized a lot of new stuff.. stuff that i'll nv expect.. stuff that is sudden.. last time... we were all so young..and immature.. but now.. both of us have changed drastically.. and it's not smth positive.. smth i juz wish that we can be like e past.. playing hopscope*, eat traffic light ice cream.. and talk abt e old lam.. haha.. but it seemed different now.. u seem further from me.. and i'm no longer close to you... have we grown up.. or is it just time that drifted us apart.. ------------------------------------------------- will you hold me.. just like i'll want you to.. i feel drifted.. far from you.. and i'm actually.. drifting.. to the arms spreaded... lord please hold me... grap me.. and dun let me slip pass.. coz i don't know when.. i'm going out of hand... speak of "the angel who went astray..." i'm perverted.. who will actually feel good when you see.. see your own blood oozing... and dripping the warmth onto your skin... ---me--- i'msickihatemyself "Before you can appriciate the rainbow.. YOu must first embrace the rain" --i'm deflated--

leeway--allowed scope of action leeward--on or towards the side sheltered from the wind i discovered tt.. i'm using puns in almost everything i do, say, write, act... and the people around are admitting that they'll scared of me.. and i'm scared of myself.. i feel deep within.. and i dun understand myself a single bit.. yet somehow.. i dont noe how to explain.. maybe..i've made a mistake in telling them abt wat i tink of them.. coz it makes them scared of me.. and tt make me even more loney... sometimes.. i really wana kill myself due to my dumbness... i hate it when i can't do well.. i hate a maths.. i hate all amaths teachers.. i hate graphs.. i hate amaths.. i'll make me hate myself even more.. i hate myself.. "Before you can appriciate the rainbow.. YOu must first embrace the rain" --i'm deflated--

argh.. juz finished tution... shitted! freak.. mum using phone.. can't go onto blogger.. muz resort in typing in word again.. went mass.. but daydreamed… then did nothing much.. go c auntie mona’s grandson.. nah.. boring..but my sis and mum enjoyed every bit.. k lah.. baby as dark as me.. went cold storage w mum and sis to buy stuff.. then she wan buy ba gua.. so ya.. the auntie.. duno blind or i'm erm... she happily said.."nah.. an di.." and wana pass me e bag.. erp.. luckily mum din hear it. if not she again got things to say abt my hair.. sigh.. erm..wat am i suppose to feel abt it..? home.. did amaths.. 15mins.. then have tution. i wana change tutor.. i'm too dumb for her.. she explained the whole thing for two hours.. and i still don't understand!!! wana die.. scare me.. mum suddenly appear.. haha... continue later.. "Before you can appriciate the rainbow.. YOu must first embrace the rain" --i'm deflated--

got to make this snappy.. my sis kept trying to peep.. my mum's show gona finish in seven mins. hah..wateva.. woke up freaking late.. woke up a 10 plus.. discovered tt it's another day.. hate it.. went bc to sleep... till eleven.. can't sleep nemore.. tot abt my life.. incidents tt i din wana forget.. tot abt others life.. abt pple's misery... my misery. and came to her.. argh..can't stand it.. forced myself to wake up.. from tt horrible nightmare.... then.. did e usual thing.. did a bit of amaths.. wrote e birthday stuff.. and other stuffss... nah.. but all v nice.. spent most of my day thinking.. neah.. so soon... it's like evening.. mum debated whether to go for "all saints day mass" or to go gu zhen!! argh.... went mass in e end.. the mass was rocking.. ya.. e father's have a real unique way.. one phrase tt stuck me.. "some people go to heaven, and bargain that their sins are not that bad.. some people.. felt so sorry for their sins.. and beg for punishment.. and feel pain and sorry.. some people.. was numb.. numb with pain.. numb with all that has happened and willingly accept their punishment.. and felt numb to it.." for some reason.. had flash backs.. abt all e most horrible sins i've commited.. and when i commited them.. i felt like i'm in the third cat. i hate myself.. i'm a great sinner..."Before you can appriciate the rainbow.. YOu must first embrace the rain" --i'm deflated--

sigh.. retard.. wat kind of an ass is it suppose to be.. so freaking tired tt in e morning during ava.. everyone kept telling me tt i looked pale.. fell asleep.. through e wat or-ri-ti-cal contest... haha.. then went bc to class.. discovered tt we actually got a lot of cloth short.. hurry up rushed out.. shermaine so nice offered to help.. haha.. tks for making e effort.. and.. couldn't squeeze out enough for another blanket.. erp.. totally rushed evry.. tensed out.. cum collecting report bks.. mr m din even cum and collect... yeah wateva k.. hurry distribute e rest for e others to help sewing.. was in such a panic tt i went into a bad mood.. pratically begging pple so sew.. dun understand y am i actually lowering myself to such an extend.. "pech chek" untill nearly teared.. managed to finish distributing e stuff.. but still not enough.. argh.. asked hailin to go look for shirliny koh or wateva for e add.. yeah.. wateva.. the whole world putting blame on us lah.. fine.. muz go and buy more cloth.. great... reb cut jos hair.. haha.. i've dare not make any comments.. haha.. totally can.. went to meet hailin.. then went great world.. bought stuff for sally, miao, serp, miao, erffa.. haha suddenly in a mood of buying those nice stuff.. really inspirational.. tt's y i bought so many.. but they really cost a great big fat bomb.. went to town without a cent left.. haha.. great.. caught up by some shittified donation shit.. say wat.. wan us to donate.. fine! i really don't have a single cent.. but they juz refuse to believe.. say wat.. how can you come to orchard wo any money.. which IS TURE.. I REALLY DON'T HAVE A SINGLE CENT!!! WATEVER.. JUs watever.. k.. then juz wander around.. din manage to buy smth for hailin.. jos so cute.. wanted to buy tis witch ting.. but after abt half an hour of deciding. she din buy. haha.. saw her bro.. dun noe wat my sis c in him.. irritating can.. totally lor. hah.. rushed home.. hope to reach hm before my mum.. on my way.. saw tis henderson punk.. i mean ... butch... suddenly realised tt she looked like her... really alike.. ya.. reached home... mum reached before me.. but in gd mood. din scold me.. from afar.. i saw your shadow.. i saw your style.. i don't know why... but suddenly.. i felt that you and her are really alike.. the hair.. the height.. the skin.. everything.. i walked faster.. hoping to catch a glimps... she was in a world of her own.. rocking her mind with music.. i don't noe why.. but i sensed that she's troubled.. and she running from reality.. i don't know.. the chance of my guess may be slim.. but i just got the feeling that she's troubled.. and she's shouting "help" i sped up.. and was really side by side... i saw a resemblence... they look alike.. pretty much.. i can't look into her.. i din't catch her eyes.. she was walking.. and she looked flustered.. she didn't notice my presence.. which was good i guess.. i feel like calling her.. waking her up from her little world.. and i feel like telling whatever that has been hidden.. hidden deep within myself.. tell her.. that there's someone like her.. and tell her whatever i'll tell the person.. i want to tell her that.... "... .. .... .... ..." but i didn't.. i slowed down.. somehow.. i allowed her to fade off.. fade off... from me... and i hate myself for it... "Before you can appriciate the rainbow.. YOu must first embrace the rain" --i'm deflated--

Did nothing in school today… Many things happened today… I hate myself.. How can I be such an ass.. Such a toot… Such an idiot.. I unintentionally hurt someone.. Hurt her.. I dare say it’s a new scar.. And I really din mean it.. The fucking word juz slipped out.. I dunno.. It juz got into me subconsciously.. I don’t noe how to tell u I’m sorry..and I din mean it. But… I noe it really coz quite a bit of misery.. I noe how u feel.. Coz I’m felt tt too.. Twice.. I can’t remember.. and I don’t wana remember.. Or more.. And it was horrible.. A pun.. yeah.. a knife stabbing right into your heart.. And hit it exactly… where e sore spot was.. I feel like you’ve been stabbed.. And I really regret it terribly.. I’m terribly sorry… Guess you’ve found my blog by now.. And too many pple is aware abt this blog.. This’s ,my last entry.. in hathair.blogspot.com It will not exist after this.. Vanished…gone…never resurface.. Coz’ I’ve saw something that I hoped I never seen it.. I wished I’ll have juz stay in class.. And sew e damn cloth.. And I won’t be feeling this now.. Crap… crap.. juz can’t get the fucking sights of my mind.. And it’s happily replaying.. I don’t understand and I don’t noe.. How come I’ll be feeling this way.. How come!!! I’m puzzled.. confused.. clogged.. cramped.. suffocated.. congested.. stabbed………. Why? I don’t understand.. I don’t.. It’s supposed to be over.. Over……… But it’s not! Why??? How come I’ll feel e unrest.. the argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Watever ok.. just watever!!!! Four times.. ya.. if I’m not wrong.. I’ve got short term memory.. I noe.. But this will definitely take a long time to fade off.. Argh… argh…..argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m feeling green in my heart.. green green green …..all greennnnn I can’t stand it…. I can’t stand it…; Well.. tt’s not all ok.. not all….. Feeling horrible.. terrible.. and someone tried out to find out why.. but.. In vain I guess… I really don’t noe how to tell you wat happened.. And I can’t tell.. and I don’t dare to tell…. So.. I’m sorry.. really… And I think I juz cause another person to be unable to sleep tonight.. Sorry. Really sorry. Felt tt you need to know abt it.. And I din wan to hide from you.. I don’t noe how she discovered.. and how e other person got to noe fr her.. But.. somehow she noes.. You said I’m e only one you’ve tell so far.. And when I’m wondering home.. I’ve been wondering … racking my brain.. To try and remember if I’ve accidentally said smth tt I shouldn’t Burt I didn.. I noe tt sometimes.. I may talk a lot of rubbish.. But I noe wat to tell and what not to.. I swear.. yes.. I’m sure.. I din breathed a word.. Not even anything.. nv even take u guys as an example or nething.. Nv relate u and her together. Never ever.. yes never.. Until when the other person said tt she’ll be happy seeing it.. But it was nothing.. It waan’t me who tell her.. It was her who told me.. Seriously I dunno how she noes.. And everything was in a totally casual tone.. Exchanged nothing very important or secretive.. I was more of a phrase.. There was no shock.. No amazement.. Practically nothing.. I really can tell you upon my blood that I didn’t even breath a word.. Didn’t… And.. got pissed off today.. E whole world is giving me lip service.. Yeah no prob.. I’ll help..i’ll do.. Haha… Oh u mean until now you still doing.. Ya..poor thing… And none of u lent a finger or nething.. Haha.. ya.. some pple tried to help.. But wasn’t really helpful though.. Each of u is suppose to do one row.. Eight squares.. Thirty two triangles.. Ya.. I noe e workload is not equally divided.. And ok ok… ya I understand.. But.. will it hurt to do a bit more.. Okok.. I noe.. I’ m supposed to be doing more.. But it’s not like I didn’t .. But.. why do I hear pple saying tt.. I don’t recall me doing nine hours.. I don’t think I did even two.. Haha.. right.. and I can even get scolded for being so stupied and doing everything.. Instead of letting others do as well.. Ya ok.. I can also get scolded for not doing my job well.. And not being able to organise the whole damn thing.. and end up doing the fucking thing myself.. What the fuck is this.. What exactly is this suppose to mean.. I help also get scolded.. I don’t do also get scoled.. What kind of a fucking shit is this.. Muz I be wrong in every fucking thing I do.. And wat…. Muz u pple use those kind of hurting words to describe my failure.. Muz you.. is there a need.. Haha.. Whatever.. Tink I’ve got no feelings.. I feel nothing.. I’m just some clown shit.. Or what.. Or what.. Or what!!!!!!!! Haha..tks for telling me wat a failure.. wat a loser.. what an idiot.. What a fuck to do this kind of fucking stuff.. Watever… just watever……. And guess what.. Wat kind of a shit is this.. I discovered a lot of things.. that I shouldn’t discover.. And I can’t help thinking abt it.. And ya.. Got my doubt confirmed.. Yeah.. serping is really feeling lonely. And she’s right.. All this time when I sense her sadness.. I actually din go console her or anything.. Coz I was busy with other pple.. Busy brooding over my misery.. Neglected her.. Ya.. I understand how she feels.. Juz don’t belong to anywhr.. Many friends.. but no one really there for you. No one.. Ya.. everything is actually so far yet so near.. Really sorry for neglecting you ok.. Really… Understand how you feel as well.. Coz’ I’m feeling the same as you… Cindy told me she guessed who e person.. If the person she guessed is correct… Haha.. I tink I’ll burst.. And tt can juz explain all those cold.. But I shall not take another blow.. Coz’ I really don’t wana let myself into something that will allow me to split.. I’m going let this fairytale live on.. But tink I’ll ask her though.. Guess this is e longest blog entry so far… And guess this is the last one as well… Goodbye… End of story… And haha.. thanks for reading
Gray: You poor, depressed child. A rain cloud seems to
follow you everywhere. The worst has always got
to happen doesn't it? Life is miserable.
Made by
Sara

What color do you see the world in?
brought to you by Quizilla "Before you can appriciate the rainbow.. YOu must first embrace the rain" --i'm deflated--

Erm.. parent meeting wasn’t really shit.. Was so surprised tt mr m din complain abt me.. And gave quite a bit of good advice.. Yeah.. dun dare to tell him wat went wrong during e exams.. Din’t dare… Dun wana malu my mum.. “I just blackout..” yeah… before I leave.. “hey.. hair seemed better…” haha.. nice comment. No pun applied I hope.. told my mum tt I’ve got a “funky” hairstyle.. haha.. honestly it wasn’t even supposed to be a style.. it’s suppose to be as short as possibe.. so I won’t get sticky neck w my sweat all over.. And was so lucky tt din meet josef tan.. “get back time” I suppose.. went pass me twice.. but seemed to be in a hurry.. L1R5—29.. Shitted.. Really disappointed w myself.. Mum really disappointed in me.. Sorry.. “I’ll work harder. Promise..” Told by mr m to drop sci subj. Or do combine.. “Dun wan!!” hiz.. tot of going into smth like arts and social science.. “humanities..and sci..” or biotechnology or biomedical.. considered going to poly.. not tt bad after all… it’s juz “better” I guess.. whole world shaking heads at me.. no choice.. dumb.. went In w minci.. she studied for 2 wks.. I tink seriously I studed more.. But.. results r like million miles fr her. It’s either she’s damn smart.. I’m damn dumb.. Or I’ve juz got e worng method of studying… Research on quite a bit.. of my future.. I guess.. But the paths all seemed blurred.. Made an effort.. Went lib to borrow bks on bio.. Targeted for next yr midyr and prelims.. Will tempt.. to hit higher.. Promised myself tt I’ll really work harder.. Try harder.. And do well.. I promised myself.. Fr e bottom of my heart.. My soul.. My blood……. "Before you can appriciate the rainbow.. YOu must first embrace the rain" --i'm deflated--

how cum nowadays... pple hu has no connections.. i mean not so close w me.. keep asking for my blog add.. and.. erm.. i wana change my url.. but e prob is.. "i dunno how to change".. loser.. har.. mrm caught me eating in class. erps..haha.. accidental... S.S stuff tmr.. dunno y joseff tan noes my name.. heard tt he sent a really "jian" email to jos.. shall not eleborate.. dunnoe if i got e facts rigt.. but it's smth abt hatseller and me.. not very nice.. in fact pretty mean.. nah.... crazy day.. "i'm hyper" "Before you can appriciate the rainbow.. YOu must first embrace the rain" --i'm deflated--

I've got new layout.. but ya.. common i guess.. but tink it's quite nice. three cheers.. "Before you can appriciate the rainbow.. YOu must first embrace the rain" --i'm deflated--

sigh.. e whole world tinks tt i cut hair to be a punk or bunk or wateva.. haha.. actually din expect my hair to be this short.. juz told e auntie to "cut away e thick bush".. then she happily cut and cut.. untill half.. then was asking "har. dun cut too short lah.. wait pple tink u boy how.." then i was "har.. aiya.. nvm.." and she happily cut and half way.. "erm.. are u a boy or a girl".. then i happily juz smiled.. haha.. and... tt's wat i'm.. "neither boy nor girl.." gay lah..haha oh nvm.. tink my hair rox.. i mean "my hathair" rox.. haha.. jing asked me for my blog add today.. noe there's smth to it.. but she simply refuses to tell me.. said tt she heard fr someone fr our class.. haha.. tink thr's more to it.. but.. ya.. i tink i noe hu's e person.. but's got nothing to do w me.. juz a comment i guess.. "Before you can appriciate the rainbow.. YOu must first embrace the rain" --i'm deflated--

i hate my blog "Before you can appriciate the rainbow.. YOu must first embrace the rain" --i'm deflated--

Hey.. how come my blog’s font so BIG!!! Irritating.. My head is still spinning… "Before you can appriciate the rainbow.. YOu must first embrace the rain" --i'm deflated--

how many pple exactly are suffering. and wearing a mask.. i've counted almost millions.. and it's still increasing.. i've really ran out of ideas to cheer pple up.. and i feel for them ... "Before you can appriciate the rainbow.. YOu must first embrace the rain" --i'm deflated--

damn sick.. temp went down to 37.9.. felt totally giddy.. tink gona sleep after this.. din go to sch.. can't walk.. wah lao.. my cousin watched 15 already.. e uncensored version.. downloaded fr com.. erpz can. ask her to send.. but she said tt she deleted liao.. bluff hu lor.. but said tt it's not suitable for teens.. then in this case.. y name e movie "fifteen".. ironic.. cut out smth on "depression" for someone.. erpz.. but it's pretty encouraging. tink she may feel better after reading it.. had a real werid dream.. shalln't eleborate.. but.. tink it's actually quite true.. sigh.. tt's how life works. i guess.. "Before you can appriciate the rainbow.. YOu must first embrace the rain" --i'm deflated--

feeling deep sick now.. fever.. 38.3.. fainting.. juz ate dinner.. tmr got MC.. hailin bluff me.. say c tt doc. only 29 bucks.. in e end 34bucks.. soo x. can.. can rest.. partically a lot of pple sick can.. got bc results.. shitted.. din improve compared to mid.. too dumb cried 3 times.. eyes partically swollen now.. sleepy.. but can't sleep.. disappointed all those fucking subjects tt i studied hard.. all fail.. shu' hav conc. on my humans.. at least can pull up.. still can't accept e fact tt i actually failed my bio.. not like i din study. ..but. juz too dumb i guess. failed both sci.. hopeless.. juz hope tt they dun transfer me to a sub. sci stream. . if not i'm dead.. tks for telling me tt i sux w my hairband.. tks for telling me i look freaked w/o it.. haha.. in a horrible state of mind.. read someones' blog.. felt sad for her.. and pitied her.. coz' i used to be as depressing as her.. and it hurts to even trying to read on.. feeling her pain.. lokman went bc to hong kong.. got her smth.. din get a chance to give her.. sad.. "i am sick..." "Before you can appriciate the rainbow.. YOu must first embrace the rain" --i'm deflated--

nah.. got myself in deep shit again.. argh... neway.. lok man's going to hungarian.. (dunno how to spell) gona really miss her.. bye lok man... if u din hurt me tt badly.. i wouldn't have done it.. i hate myself.. "Before you can appriciate the rainbow.. YOu must first embrace the rain" --i'm deflated--

paranoid

Which Personality Disorder Do You Have?
brought to you by Quizilla "Before you can appriciate the rainbow.. YOu must first embrace the rain" --i'm deflated--

paranoid

Which Personality Disorder Do You Have?
brought to you by Quizilla "Before you can appriciate the rainbow.. YOu must first embrace the rain" --i'm deflated--

Your Heart is Green

What Color is Your Heart?
brought to you by Quizilla "Before you can appriciate the rainbow.. YOu must first embrace the rain" --i'm deflated--

You're the sad smile,the one that regrets nearly
everything and is constantly wondering about
what could have been.You're not happy with your
situation and usually blame yourself because of
the bad things that have happened.Cheer up.

What Kind of Smile are You?
brought to you by Quizilla "Before you can appriciate the rainbow.. YOu must first embrace the rain" --i'm deflated--

quite a peaceful day.. morning got interhouse gms.. totally bored can.. and a bit too comic only.. then got this councilor forum.. oso chao comic..haha. this jos and qiqi all e time a bit cute.. then sisterhood went and speak.. and this qiqi shouted she luv "euduro" or smth.. too cute.. then tis debate started btw xinyi's clique and e excos.. hiz.. no comments.. and.. erm.. cip lor... then kept wanting to keep e door open .. but pple kept closing it.. pple all tink i'm crazy or smthing.. and argh.. very ke xi.. totally.. then went town.. played this call no. gm.. haha.. everyone got "for-fitted".. hee hee. managed to escape.. went to take neos.. tis time e nicest... got this one i luv most.. the title is 'SISTERHOOD REJECTS" haha.. comic... then went home.. read harry potter.. ws and dry clothes.. dinner.. then here lor.. nothing much.. except.... i juz saw her walking pass me.. twice.. and somehow.. i juz can't pluck up e courage... to tell her tt.. "i'll miss her".. so close yet so far.. and i'm tearing in my heart .. when i c her walk pass and... slowing.. engulfed by e crowd... and i hate myself for it.. "Before you can appriciate the rainbow.. YOu must first embrace the rain" --i'm deflated--

how irritating..i dun seem to noe how to use this new blog layout.. erpz.. too dumb or wat.. but neway.. quite a lot of things happened to day.. although it may seem nothing to all lot of you... somehow.. when i tell someone hu i am.. they always doubt it.. i noe i'm not the least capable.. and not qualified.. and not suitable.. but somehow.. i juz get bumbed in.. and... guess wat i dunno y i'm in this position.. i noe she's joking.. and just trying to suan me.. but.. when i think back.. it's like .. it's like it's true.. i'm a horrible vice... while hailin's e angel beside me.. tt's y i've been ruinning things.. and creating all the fucking shit.. even in such a simple cca.. i'm just as shit.. just as loser and hopeless.. i'm suppose to lead. to let them work together.. but.. no matter how i try.. things just doesn't fit in... i put in e effort... but.... i'm not blaming anyone.. but..myself.. pple can organise so well and all e shit.. but... ya.. i noe.. i think you're right.. i'm just not fit... to: ..... / ...... i've been thinking.. and suddenly.. i feel that you're really a very nice person... a really great buddy... "i love you too" ps: not in a crk way k.. "Before you can appriciate the rainbow.. YOu must first embrace the rain" --i'm deflated--

I hate my mother "Before you can appriciate the rainbow.. YOu must first embrace the rain" --i'm deflated--

nobody will totally understand how pisstified i am now.. really very extremely angry... my sis har.. ask me to do prep work for her art exam. then make me waste my 2 days... research.. find ideas... and do her prep work.. and guess wat tmr is her exam.. and in e afternoon.. i still teach her how to do her final pic.. but e fucking prob... she don't even noe how to draw.. but nvm.. actually juz tot of asking her to draw.. hills w plots of land and a sky.. tt simple... the title is "dream" and tt's exactly my dream.. i wanted to try making myself happy... but..halfway through.. she spilled e black paint.. and guess wat.. we've got to make do w black backgroud.. tt's all for trying to dream, hope and be happy.. then mum came back.. said tt her drawing's like shit.. then demanded to change topic.. then i told her tt i've researched so much.. and she juz happily said tt aiya.. nvm.. oni a while .. go help her research on her new topic.. wah lao.. i did so much.. let them scold and shout at.. and guess wat.. nobody even tks me or said anything appriciative.. still blame me for chosing such a hard topic.. then nvm.. my mum tried to teach her.. and she fa pi qi.. shouted at me to wash e rice and blah blah blah.. really duno wat to say.. pple blog. and my sis totally.. kept on trying to peep... irritating... "Before you can appriciate the rainbow.. YOu must first embrace the rain" --i'm deflated--

hand holding - you like to be in constant physical
contact with your special someone but you don't
want to take things too quickly.

What Sign of Affection Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla I can’t imagine what I’m actually doing.. I’m using quizzes to find myself.. And the amazing thing is that majority or them Are ture… And I believe in them…
You are Wolverine! A loner by nature, you feel uncomfortable when
around those you don't know and even those you
do. You are awkward when it comes to
relationships, but fiercely loyal to those you
love.

Which X-Men character are you most like?
brought to you by Quizilla "Before you can appriciate the rainbow.. YOu must first embrace the rain" --i'm deflated--

You're Most Like The Season Autumn ... You're warm, and the most approachable. You have
that gentle prescence about you. People can
relate to you, and find you easy company.
However it's likely you've been hurt in the
past and it has left you scarred so things can
become rather chilly with you at times. Being
the third Season in, you're mature, trustworthy
and loyal to your friends but prone to
depression and negative thinking. Well done... You're the shy and sensitive season :)

?? Which Season Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla "Before you can appriciate the rainbow.. YOu must first embrace the rain" --i'm deflated--

You're Most Like The Season Autumn ... You're warm, and the most approachable. You have
that gentle prescence about you. People can
relate to you, and find you easy company.
However it's likely you've been hurt in the
past and it has left you scarred so things can
become rather chilly with you at times. Being
the third Season in, you're mature, trustworthy
and loyal to your friends but prone to
depression and negative thinking. Well done... You're the shy and sensitive season :)

?? Which Season Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla "Before you can appriciate the rainbow.. YOu must first embrace the rain" --i'm deflated--

From: Today. Monday. October 13, 2003 Depression can be treated Depression is not a sign of personal weakness. It is a medical condition that needs treatment. Depression can affect your interest in daily activities, appetite, sleep and self-esteem. You may feel alone, helpless, or even think about suicide. Fight depression, seek early treatment. Call health line: 1800 223 1313 or visit www.hpb.gov.sg they government nowadays have been actively promoting on depression. It's either majority of our population is suffering from depression... or majority of the population are gona suffer from depression... and all i can say is that.. "the government is smart..." "Before you can appriciate the rainbow.. YOu must first embrace the rain" --i'm deflated--

YOU ARE MARRIED TO A WoODCHUCK!!!

what's YOUR deepest secret?
brought to you by Quizilla lame... "Before you can appriciate the rainbow.. YOu must first embrace the rain" --i'm deflated--

For some reason.. I don’t noe y.. they forced me to do smthing..i totally dislike… And somehow I just teared in front of them.. And I hate myself for that… I’m weak… "Before you can appriciate the rainbow.. YOu must first embrace the rain" --i'm deflated--

Sign..from now onwards.. my mum decided tt if we wamt to use the internet we muz sign in and out in this booklet. Then she’ll charge the internet fees accoordingly. Wateva lor.. then now with juzt thrity dollars. I’m suppoed to pay for my expenses, my handphone bills, internet fees, class fund, extra charges…blah blah blah.. erpz lor.. how can thirty dollars do so many things.. Now..i’m actually typing on microsoft word.. then copying and pasting it online. This is totally crazy… wateva..I really dunnoe how to survive with tt miserable sum.. then I told her how can.. then she was saying tt “if you can’t afford it. Then don’t use the internet. That simple” pissed lor..i really dun noe wat to say.. fine.. then nvm.. last week my father was saying tt my watch is already very old and dirty .. offered to buy me a new watch.. then.. I was thinking that how come he’s so nice.. first time offering to buy me something since pri two (bought my sis and I to chinatown and bought this totally erpz dress) until now..then still said tt as as long as not more than 100 dollars.. he’ll buy for me.. then tt day saw this watch at heren.. tink om offer or smthing..69bucks. then was asking him to buy .. then hu noes. He juz said.. “since when did I want to buy a watch for you. You want a watch.. ask mummy to buy for you”.. wateva lor..always like this one.. promise pple smthing then suddenly say dun have again. Forever breaking promise.. pkus he earns quite a pretty sum.. and wateva.. refuse to even buy us anything.. and it’s not tt I demanded for it.. is he actually offered it himself.. all these years.. I’ve nv actually asked him to buy me anything.. nor did he actually bought me anything. But. This time.. I’m really irritated… coz since last time.. all the time he says he want to buy a computer for my sis and i… blah blah blah. But he never does it.. I really can’t stand pple who break promises. And juz walk away pretending that nothing actually happened…… "Before you can appriciate the rainbow.. YOu must first embrace the rain" --i'm deflated--

Sign..from now onwards.. my mum decided tt if we wamt to use the internet we muz sign in and out in this booklet. Then she’ll charge the internet fees accoordingly. Wateva lor.. then now with juzt thrity dollars. I’m suppoed to pay for my expenses, my handphone bills, internet fees, class fund, extra charges…blah blah blah.. erpz lor.. how can thirty dollars do so many things.. Now..i’m actually typing on microsoft word.. then copying and pasting it online. This is totally crazy… wateva..I really dunnoe how to survive with tt miserable sum.. then I told her how can.. then she was saying tt “if you can’t afford it. Then don’t use the internet. That simple” pissed lor..i really dun noe wat to say.. fine.. then nvm.. last week my father was saying tt my watch is already very old and dirty .. offered to buy me a new watch.. then.. I was thinking that how come he’s so nice.. first time offering to buy me something since pri two (bought my sis and I to chinatown and bought this totally erpz dress) until now..then still said tt as as long as not more than 100 dollars.. he’ll buy for me.. then tt day saw this watch at heren.. tink om offer or smthing..69bucks. then was asking him to buy .. then hu noes. He juz said.. “since when did I want to buy a watch for you. You want a watch.. ask mummy to buy for you”.. wateva lor..always like this one.. promise pple smthing then suddenly say dun have again. Forever breaking promise.. pkus he earns quite a pretty sum.. and wateva.. refuse to even buy us anything.. and it’s not tt I demanded for it.. is he actually offered it himself.. all these years.. I’ve nv actually asked him to buy me anything.. nor did he actually bought me anything. But. This time.. I’m really irritated… coz since last time.. all the time he says he want to buy a computer for my sis and i… blah blah blah. But he never does it.. I really can’t stand pple who break promises. And juz walk away pretending that nothing actually happened…… "Before you can appriciate the rainbow.. YOu must first embrace the rain" --i'm deflated--

You represent... happiness. Boy, are you full of cheer or what...? You have a
sunny disposition and enjoy trying to spread
your happiness. You have a tendency to be a
little hyper, but you have the ability to make
your own fun no matter what.

What feeling do you represent?
brought to you by Quizilla
<<>>???What Kind Of Angel R You???<<>>( Anime Pics )
brought to you by Quizilla "Before you can appriciate the rainbow.. YOu must first embrace the rain" --i'm deflated--

Esp for Miao and Erffa... Nothing is exactly good or bad. There are always both sides to everything. When you look at a weed. It looks useless and worthless. But a weed is actually a flower in disguise. People normally tend to overlook things at a certain angle. From a different point of view, Everything can actually mean a three hunderd and sixty degree. A bottle filled till half can mean different things. It can be half empty, or half full. Everything appears what you actually look at it. If everything looks glom on you, It is not that the sun is not bright enough. It is just you not letting the sun rays shine into you. Open up. Look into the sun. Tell yourself. After today, after today, I'm new again. I'm refreshed. ~Eunice
Your element is Air. You are and artistic person
with a unique sense of style. You are
intelligent, constantly active and most likely
like to sing. Constantly moving the air is a
force of nature. One moment you can be a breeze
the next a tornado.

What's your element
brought to you by Quizilla hey it's ture.. i love the air...;)
You are Romans.

Which book of the Bible are you?
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Morpheus

?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
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My inner child is sixteen years old!

Life's not fair! It's never been fair, but while
adults might just accept that, I know
something's gotta change. And it's gonna
change, just as soon as I become an adult and
get some power of my own.

How Old is Your Inner Child?
brought to you by Quizilla "Before you can appriciate the rainbow.. YOu must first embrace the rain" --i'm deflated--

You are every goth-kids dream!
What Finding Nemo Character are You?
brought to you by Quizilla haha.. i tink crush really rock!!!haha... but dory rocks more..haha
Seer

The ULTIMATE personality test
brought to you by Quizilla haha.. quite ture..i tink i starting to luv quizzes..
-Sensitive- You're Sensitive, and you'd like to
stay that way. Sorry,listened to a bit too much
Jewel there. You're sweet and very emotionally
charged. You definitely love the person you're
with, and always want to know how they're
feeling so you can make sure they're happy.

What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla ha.. tt's nice.. but i seriously dun tink tt neone in e world would fall for me..O.o "Before you can appriciate the rainbow.. YOu must first embrace the rain" --i'm deflated--

You are every goth-kids dream! "Before you can appriciate the rainbow.. YOu must first embrace the rain" --i'm deflated--

wateva lor.. i tink my mum's e bez lor.. pple sleeping halfway.. then she got nothing to do.. muz wake pple up at six to scold me... for e bottle.. irritating leh.. got nothing better to do... tink she tinks tt scolding and nagging at me.. is her pastime or smthing.. argh wateva lah... hu cares lor.. neway..fell asleep halfway... but she blabber so much.... there's this line i can't forget.. "ownself so ugly already.. still must make yourself uglier.. don't even know how ugly you look.." fell asleep after she said this.. sigh.. she's been attacking me w these kind of fucking words.. since the beginning of the year... think she can juz continue critisizing me all her life... "Before you can appriciate the rainbow.. YOu must first embrace the rain" --i'm deflated--

i'm irritated totally... very extremely irritated... sometimes.. i juz can't stand your fucking behaviour. irritaing and bitchy.. although it's rude.. but at least i dun tell u straight at y0ur face.. abt how you sucks... at least i dun do tt back to you.. u can' juz insult pple so freely... like i'm juz some piece of shit... some piece of ass..... or wateva... is there a need to insult me and make me feel bad.. make me moody when i start to get a pinch of joy... is there a need to let me lead such a saddistic life.. is there such a need.. i dun understand.. am i so irritating tt you need to say me wheneva you are pissed.. is there such a need to agonize me... or is it ture.... is it ture.... is it really ture.... tt i'm really tt irritaing.. tt i'm really such an eyesore... tti'm really such a pain in the ass.... tt i really suck as much as you discribed me.... that i'm juz worth nothing.. nothing more than a piece of shit.... tt i'm juz a shadow.. i'm juz nothing.. vapour.. nothing.. i really dun noe how come i take wateva you say so seriously.. maybe.. it's already within me.. deep down me... drilled in me... that i suck.. that i'm nothing.. that i don't matter... that everything about me is horribe.... that i've got no feelings at all.. that i'll never get hurt.. that everything you said.... is juz talking to the wall..... drilled into me that... i'm not worth a single cent.. a single penny... that i'm juz... "non-existance"

..havnt blogged for ages.. erpz wateva.. exam over.. sigh.. actually really in a gd mood until now... pple buy milk bottle.. wat's gota do w her lor... scold and scold only.. tell her clique buying.. say wat... clique buy then muz buy.. no thinking of your own.. pple take drugs or smoke then u smoke too lah.. wateva... "dun give me so much trouble... i don't want a problem teenager.." wateva lor.. "you've already outgrown this kind of things... " "i've already give u a lot of freedom.. from onwards.. once school finishes.. come home immediately.." like Yeah yeah.. "once exam finish tot will have someone to come home and accompany the sister.. hu noes once exam finishes then go out.. no concern for the family at all..." wateva lor.. pple work so hard.. after exam go out one day oso cannot.... irritating lor... "so self-centred and selfish..exactly like your father.. friends always first..." argh... dun understand lor.. muz she always use her fucking words the ruin my mood or smthing.. irritaing lor.. argh..... irritating.. pple so nice hang clothes for her.. still ask me to get lost.... help her open door when she wana throw rubbish.. still scold me.. "get out of my sight.. i don't want to see you!!" "if you wan attention.. go and do other things.. dun't always be a clown.." "i dun wan pple's parent's or teachers complaining that you're leading their children astray.." "don't say i want to compare..pple's children are all so good.. see tami.. the nanyang girl...... blah blah blah.." isn't tt comparing.. wat like of fuck lor.. argh.. ruin my mood on blogging...

http://www.thehelpline.net/selfinjury.html feel enlightened....

hey.. how irritating.. took half an hour to get connected into this spas net.. argh.. can't stand it... wat' a pok.. dun noe how many years old liao.. pentium one oso dun noe got a not.. hmph.. neway... mole.. was argh.. flunked... pple really got study lor.. did like qns.. but still can't seem to work them out.. sigh.. really wana cry.. was so angry w the paper tt i keep tsking it.. then was like "argh".. then a bit loud.. miss seah heard it.. and walked over to check.. sas my paper.. shook her head.. i realy wana dig a hole or smthing.. and guess wat.. tt's like oni a test.. wateva.. mid year... i can juz fluck all the shit out of me.. and pls lor.. to really dun noe how to start.. but.. as a matter of fact.. wat u did is simply silly... feel like whacking you now... but noe it's for my own gd or wateva.. but.. argh.. dun feel like saying mean stuff... but... arhghahhfdaha............why .......................... erp........ u noe reverse psycology oni works for some pple.. not me lor.. how cum... u make me hate myself even more.. you make me feel more guilty... more horribe... more shit... more disgusting.. more irritating.. more feel like ******* myself... hiz... i really dun noe wat.. to say.. sure ting i was touched.. but...in a wrong way.. next time if u hav a plan.. can u at least discuss w someone else... u cause a lot of pple to worry lor.... and is all these necessary............... i'm not worth your time planning... argh........ i've got like more ***** added to my collection... you won't understand.... and ....... i really dun noe wat to say... but please....... dun do stuff like tt again.... arghargharghargh.. i'm going crazy.... "nothing is ever gona work"

wat a shit.. my tagboard can't tag again.. to the danny person: "wat an asshole.. pple wan to write wat i'm my fucking business.. neway.. u're e one hu got e spelling *off* wat a busybody...erpz totally"

wat a shit.. my tagboard can't tag again.. to the danny person: "wat an asshole.. pple wan to write wat i'm my fucking business.. neway.. u're e one hu got e spelling *off*"

...blex....really a bad day... yesterday nigt...and today morning..last night... horrible... and saddening... shall not elaborate.... cried myself to sleep.. was exhausted....slept at 12... morning.... felt really bad..... and horrible... morning.... felt exhausted mentally and physically... slept the first ting i came to sch.. but i din fall asleep...was trying to tink back..and listening abt wat's going on in class..sigh...a classroom... sometimes.. i can't stand living in this world.. but ya.. sorry abt tt cyn... dun mean to shout or wateva.. juz really easily irritated...then really cant' stand amaths.. dunnoe y.. hear his sucked voice... tears juz kept flowing out...and hailin was so nice.. wrote me smthing.. can't wait till recess.. was already counting down to recess.. once recess.. went to ta bao smthing to eat.. come bc to class and c rain.. tink i rox.. wheneva i'm sad.. i'll wana c rain.. i cheers me up more..seriously i dun noe y... i juz like cing the pitter-patter.. tink i'm mad.. but i luv the rain.. recess.. hailin wanted to buy smthing... but din go w her. wanted to go somewhere quiet.. but the back part of temp blk taken.. went to the back door of classrm and sit and rot.. erffa came lor.. then say a lot of stuff.. dun noe y.. cried again.. haha.. tink erffa's a really nice gal.. and she's extremely nice to hug.. tks..then miao came.. and dun noe y.. flooded herself w me.. and melissa oso... haha.. tink we're really fated.. always oso we all cry together.. ahah.. told her part of wat's bothering me.. ya.. only like 1/3 of my probs.. and she dun wan to hear liao.. haha.. she tinks tt it's really bad.. but.. ya... tt's only part of it.. there are still many parts to it.. but ya.. dun wan to say.. wait cry again.. argh.. mr m saw me.. argh.. guess he muz have heard stuff fr loba as well.. hiz.. then mr samat came 5mins later.. ask us wat's wrong... told him tt.. erm i got stomach ache.. tt's y i'm crying..and he happily dun believe me.. went into class... dun noe y.. i hate it lor.. when i'm suppose to cry.. i can't.. when i'm not suppose to.. i'm flooded.. neway.. tks buddy and cindy.. dun tink i'll like baby biscuit.. ahah.. but tks lah.. oh.. haha.. clarie said tt i look dead... totally off... haha.. guess so.. even outsider oso can tell.. guess i'm really losing it all... eng.. slack.. time and tide waits for no man.. wrote one para of crap.. felt better.. recovering a bit.. becca and halin engrossed w heart to heart talk.. but smtimes.. it's gd to have someone to pour out everything.. i tink miao rox.. you're a real nice gal.. tks.. and ya.. tks to everyone lah..haha... and jade oso another nice gal.. tink bc. discovered tt i'm a bit e guo fen when some times becca and i tease jade.. k.. fr now onwards.. i'll try not to make fun of her.. discovered tt it's actually v. mean... hey becca.. stop it har.. haahaa.. now home.. tink i'm going to sleep.. really very tired of everyting.. it juz' when i look back.. although i do have a happy times.. i'm ruled more by the saddness.. i see a half empty bottle.. rather than half filled... i'm saddistic... i'm nuts... seriously......tink i'm being a pain.. but nvm... i'm juz put up.. till i can put up no more..... tink.. i'll.. i'll ....... juz "burst"

...sigh... exams are coming... really.. cant stand the reading and stuff..argh.. my aim.. actually.. aim to get like 20 or below... but ya.. my mum.. 6.. asked her to be realistic... changed her mind to 10.. no more... haha... u tink i can ever get this kind of marks... millions or years later i tink.. crazy.. tink i'm dumb.... the way she says..... like i'm the stupiest soul on earth.. fine.. i'm juz a piece of shit... wateva..i hate having smart neighbours.. and have so much competition.. 15years ago.. compete... 15years later...compete.. tink tt's wat i'm gona do all my life.. can't stand it... but the fact is tt.. tt's wat the whole world is doing.. really sick and tired.. i saw a gals arm today... and felt sorry for her... but seriously.. it actually takes.. quite a lot of decision... fine.... i dun noe wat to say abt myself.... but .....sometimes.... you juz get the cramped up feeling and feel like releasing all the bottled up.. and not let anyone noe... tt's the solution i guess..... i mean.. personally....i helps.. from others point of view.. it's meaningless and useless... and harmful..and crap... i noe i noe.. my sis is a guider.. went for this guides course.. all abt drugs.. and ....... ps: wasnt a pun to taking durgs k.. fine.. i noe stuff.. wateva... neway..... i'm in need of brain cells... brain juice.. and intelligence.... "how cum i'm so dumb..... " "wei she mou wo de hai zhi duo zhe yang ben"... ya.. i noe... my mum wans me to be smart...and a good guai gal.. like her dream daughter...but ya.. i'm juz me.. it's not tt i dun wan to be smart.. it's juz... "i'm dumb".... is there really a place which suits each and everyone one of us.... i seriously dun tink so... but human nature.... "take me home.. to the place where i belong.." all these sound so real.. but the whole world noes tt it's juz a dream... but i hope this dream will juz last on.. and on.... and on.... till i really...really go to such a place.... i'll be able to justify tt it's not juz a dream... but a fact.."