My Other Half

I just can't explain in enough words my love and gratitude for my husband. I have always appreciated him and loved him, but these past few weeks have really put things into perspective for me. I honestly don't know how I would have made it through.

Trevor has always ALWAYS been one to help me out. Even though I am a stay-at-home mom he pitches in without me asking. He knows when I'm feeling a little frazzled and I need some extra help. He will clean the house, make the occasional dinner, and he has never failed to help out when it came to Brody and now Ryder too.I have always been grateful to Trevor for being our family's "bread winner" but he goes about and beyond the call of duty at times. Never in my life have I been so completely incapacitated as I was the week after I had Ryder. Trevor just totally took the reigns. He changed a countless amount of diapers, he fed Brody (which can be quite an ordeal), I started laundry 2 times but couldn't finish so he folded clothes and hung them up to dry, he cleaned our bathrooms, did dishes, took out trash...I mean the list goes on and on. On the weekends when he's home from work I feel like we have a tag-team effort going on. We both put in the work, but Trevor was doing everything. He told me at the end of the week, "Don't take this the wrong way, but I have a whole new appreciation for what you do at home during the week...I mean, I always have, but now I REALLY do."

I am also so thankful that Trevor has continuously honored his priesthood during our marriage. That may not be a big deal for most, but it really is to me. I can probably count on one hand how many times I have received a blessing (not including the standard ones like your baby blessing that most lds people have had) on one hand. This past week Trevor was able to give both me and Brody a blessing. What a comfort it is to me to know that we can ask for a blessing at any given time and it will be done.

Trevor is my rock. He reassures me when I freak out about things I have no control over. He is my best friend. He is my confidant. He is my comic relief. When I worry about something being wrong with one of the kids he is probably the only person that will worry as much as I do. He is honest, loyal, trustworthy, hard-working, loving, fun, sarcastic, and more. Trevor is the best dad to our kids and the best husband I could ask for. I love you, Trev!

The Recovery Time

If I thought that the labor and delivery of Ryder was hard, and I had another thing coming to me. Things only continued to get rocky.

I distinctly remember being SO shocked after I had Brody that my body 'down south' could be so messed up! It was just so much more messy and bloody than i could have ever imagined. I thought to myself over and over, "nobody told me about this!!!" So, this time I was prepared. I had all the things I could possibly need so that Trevor wouldn't have to go to the store for anything 'embarassing' (let's be honest....he would have sent my just-home-from-the-hospital butt to the store instead of doing that for me). I was totally ready for that, but completely unprepared for the aftermath of my epidural.

In basically every aspect of my life I'm what you would consider average. Average smarts, looks, height, etc. Wouldn't you know that the one time I decide to be unique its in an aspect that no one wants to be unique. Anytime you get an epidural there is like a 1 to 2% chance of the dr. going through a membrane and causing spinal fluid to drip in your back which then causes a MASSIVE migraine. I was lucky enough to be on the receiving end of one of these lovely headaches!!!

We got home from the hospital on Friday and my head was killing me but I really thougt that it was normal. The next day we woke up and Trevor suggested we go get lunch at the fair. I wasn't feeling well, but I thought I could do it. We got to the county fair walked from the car to where the food was and I told Trevor, "I can't do this. I really don't feel well at all." Turned around and went home. I honestly went home took off clothes, put on pjs, and got into bed and pretty much stayed there the rest of the day. Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday were not much better. In fact, I would say it continued to get worse. My head literally felt like it was going to explode. The only small amount of relief was when I was laying down. Sitting up and standing was excruciating. Normally showering can make me feel a little better anytime I'm sick, but it only made me want to pass out.

On Monday and Tuesday I began throwing up and couldn't eat anything. Trevor was basically doing EVERYTHING for me. He changed almost all diapers for both boys, he made meals, fed Brody, bathed kids (gave Ryder his 1st bath and I bawled because I wasn't doing it), cleaned toilets, washed dishes, did laundry, and just took over everything else. I cried because I hurt so much, and cried more because I felt like a failure as a mom and wife. The worse day was on Tuesday when he took Ryder to get circumsized and Brody to his 2 year check-up and shots. I was just too sick to go and I could not stand the idea of not being able to go and comfort either of my boys. I just cried and cried when they left until I fell asleep.

I finally wised up and called the dr. realizing that things were not going to get better on their own and they prescribed me a VERY potent migraine medicine that night and scheduled me to come in the next day. After paying over 25 bucks for one pill I took the medicine that night and woke up pleasantly surprised to find that the headache that had also seeped down into my neck and back as well was gone, and the headache itself was a little bit relieved but not gone.

I went to the dr. and they prescribed me another one of those pills to see if it would help knock the rest of the headache out, but they sent me to the hospital to see about getting a blood patch done. I had no clue what a blood patch was and when they described it, I only cried more. They take blood from your arm and then go back into your epidural site and put the blood in there. It seals off the leaking spinal fluid and it has an 85% chance of working. If it DOES work you will feel relief within 20 minutes. I just could not stand the idea of them even touching my back after everything I had gone through, but this headache was so ridiculous that I talked myself into it.

I go in and put on my gown and wait for the lady to come in and they decide to instead send in the SAME EXACT DOCTOR that messed me up in the first place!!!! You have got to be kidding me..... Not only did this dude act like he didn't want to do my blood patch, but he also acted like he didn't think he COULD do it! If he isn't confident in his abilities how can I be??? So, I decided not to get it. I went home in the hoped that my second $25 pill would take care of it.

Thursday I woke up and finally, FINALLY felt a little bit like a real human being! Friday was even better. It only was like a whole week later, but I felt better. I have continued with just a tinge of a headache, but nothing like what I had before. I could finally start to enjoy my baby...just a week after he was born.

Saturday I was feeling great but Brody decided to get major sick for the 1st time in his life. We spent hours at an urgent care only to have Brody puke all over me and get no answers. We spent the whole weekend trying to figure out what was going on and if we needed to go the ER or not. Could things get anymore awful at this point? I'm really not sure. We got to the pediatrician on Monday and were told he had hand, foot, and mouth disease. I guess its fairly normal in kids. There's really not much you can do but let it run its course and by then he really was a lot better but we were just happy to have an answer!!! Trevor and I had both spilled more than a few tears worrying about this little boy. It was really bad.

By Tuesday Brody was WAY better but I was aching all over, I had the chills, and a fever started. I thought maybe I was getting sick, but when the fever broke that night and I felt so much better I wasn't sure. I looked in a book I have and after thinking about how my chest has been really sore I realized that I probably have Mastitis. That would explain all the achiness and the sore lumps I had.

I really have felt like these first 2 weeks of Ryder's life have been 2 of the most challenging weeks of my life. I have cried and cried and cried because it has seemed like one problem on top of the other. I thought that since I had a hard delivery I could hope for and easy recovery but I was wrong. Its been pretty tough, I almost feel like I was robbed of Ryder's first 2 weeks, but things are FINALLY starting to look up. Everyone seems to be well. Somehow Ryder has escaped getting sick himself. We'll keep our fingers crossed that things will be normal for a while.

Ryder's Labor and Delivery

About 5 weeks prior to my due date I started to dialate and efface. I think that every lady at the end of her pregnancy is hoping for an early delivery, but my doctor seemed to really think that I would have Ryder early. No doctor should EVER say that to a pregnant woman. It makes you just hope way too much. For over two weeks I had my bag packed for the hospital, and every single night I would shower, wash my hair, and dry my hair because I couldn't stand the idea of going to the hospital with dirty hair. But all the anticipation was for nothing. I went to my final appointment on the 3rd and Dr. Connelly scheduled me for an induction on the 9th (one day past my due date). I think he really didn't think I'd even make it to that because I was about 80% effaced and 3 1/2 cm dialated. He was wrong.

On September 9th we got up and got ready for the day and made our 45 minute drive to the hospital in complete calm. There was no freaking out because of painful contractions. Trevor and I had always talked about how weird it would be to know the day your kid was going to be born, and here we were doing exactly that.

At 8 am I was admitted into the hospital. I got dressed in my lovely hospital gown, got into bed, and was hooked up to the heart monitor. My nurse, Yvonne, began asking me questions and filling out paperwork. The whole time she's doing this we find out that I am having contractions I'm just not feeling them. She checks me and we were pleasantly surprised to find that I was dialated to a 5. Sweet! Halfway there!

At 9:30 my dr. came in and broke my water. About 5 minutes after that my favorite dr, the one bringing me my epidural, came in. How great was this delivery going to be? I was going to get my meds before I even started to really feel contractions. I could not have been more pleased. But things were about to get crappy. When I had Brody they struggled a bit getting my epidural in. They even bent the needle in my back, but when all was said and done it got in and I felt great. This time was much harder. It seems that the muscles in my back are too tight or something. The dr. had me lean over and he began to poke....and poke....and poke. I ended up with 7 different holes in my back, but I was probably poked about 30 times. He would get the needle into the epidural space but he couldn't ever thread the catheter in. He kept hitting my bones. It was extremely painful! He would go back into a hole at a different angle hoping to get it, but it just wasn't happening. My body began to shake uncontrollably. After an hour of being hunched over we got it in. I was definitely feeling my contractions now. The epidural made my right thigh very numb and it never did anything more. My contractions were getting intense. I was on my side and just crying because I hurt so much. Trevor kept telling me to call the nurse but I didn't think she would do anything. I kept thinking this epidural would work.

After what seemed like forever I called my nurse and told her my epidural wasn't working She came in and had called a different dr to try and fix my epidural. She said this dr. was excellent. She could do an epidural in like 5 minutes. Well, it took her 35 minutes to do mine. During all this time I'm trying to stay still but I'm having major contractions. When the epidural gets put in she checks me and I'm at an 8! At some point during all of this I was asked if a student nurse could come in and observe. I told them sure, why not? Let's make this a party. I'm such a prude and so private but at this point what was one more person? I already had 4 dr's that had seen my vage plus Trevor and 2 more later right before Ryder was born.

The second epidural made both my legs very numb and that is about it. I was feeling every contraction. I have NEVER EVER been one of those people that wants to "fully experience" child birth. I say bring me the drugs. I have also heard people say that they had to deliver without meds and once they did it they were so glad that they had. They felt proud that they had done it or something. Hah!

In what seemed like only a few breaths I felt the need to push and the dr. was there. Holy cow! Talk about the most painful experience of my life. There was a lot of crying involved. There was a lot of me saying, "Trevor, I can't do this!" Granted, at this point there is no turning back, you pretty much are doing this no matter what, but I seriously felt like it might just kill me.

With Brody, I was able to push him out in like 4 pushes. I ended up pushing for only about 20 minutes, but I just couldn't do as well. I felt like I was so busy concentrating on my major pain that I couldn't concentrate on the correct way to push. I also felt like I couldn't breathe. It seemed like I couldn't catch a breath. There was so much burning and tearing going on. At on point I grabbed onto the rails of my bed and when I did I hit a button that made the end of the bed go down, and the dr was sitting on it, so I nearly dumped him on the floor. It felt like such an out of body experience that I couldn't control my actions. I remember apologizing to him. Every once in a while I would catch site of the student nurse and sometimes she would have this terrified look on her face like, "oh my gosh!" and once I was really pushing the baby out I remember her getting this big proud smile on her face and kinda clapping to herself. She was like my own personal cheerleader in the background. After all was said and done I told her that watching me was probably the best birth control for her ever!

Finally after so many tears, burning, and tearing I pushed out Ryder's head. Normally that's the hardest part but Ryder's chest ended up being bigger than his head and it hurt more than his head. Trevor says I cried out more at that point than any other time. With Brody he was face up and that makes labor and delivery much harder I'm told. They never got him turned around either. Ryder was face up as well, but they did turn him around before he came out. However with Ryder being so broad not only did I tear down, but he tore me up on top. So not fun.

Finally Ryder entered the world at 2:06 that afternoon. He came out wailing away. Brody hardly cried at all, and so this was quite different. We knew there was a new baby alive and well right off the bat. In fact, they do the Agpar test at one minute after a baby is born and again at five minutes (it basically tests them on the baby's color, breathing, reflexes etc.) and Ryder scored a 10, which is the best score he could get. Then they took him off my chest and began to clean him up and weigh him.

As all this is going on the dr. then delivers the placenta and because I wasn't numb I felt that and thought it was like a second (but much smaller) baby being born! Then came the stitching and I felt ever one of those go in too. It was seriously the hardest thing I have ever gone through. I remember just crying and crying when Ryder came out because I was so glad he was okay but also I cried a lot for myself. I really couldn't believe what I had just gone through.

Overall the most important thing was having a healthy baby. We were very blessed with that. The following day with a major headache and backache we were able to take our newest addition home. I'm glad to have Ryder out of me. I'm glad he's doing so well, but I'm also very grateful that my first delivery didn't go like this one did because it would have taken me a lot longer to decide to have another one. I felt so proud of myself after I had Brody, but with Ryder I felt like the biggest wimp, and yet it was way harder and I basically did it with no medication.

Ryder Joel Waite

Even though I was dialating and effacing on my own 5 weeks prior to my due date, Ryder just didn't want to come. He needed just a little nudge.

Finally on September 9, 2010, just one day after my due date we went in for a scheduled induction. By 2:06 that afternoon Ryder Joel Waite made his first appearance into this world.

He weighed the exact same as his brother did, 9 pounds 1 ounce. Originally he was measured at 21 inches long, but after being measured again this week we found out the hospital got it wrong he was 22 inches long.