Tuesday, July 4, 2017

Epistle to Seminary Students

In the 2016-2017 school year the youth of our church studied the New Testament in Seminary. This spring I was asked to write a modern epistle to the youth in our stake as they studied the ancient Epistles. Here is what I shared with them:



Epistle to the Youth of the Cincinnati Ohio North Stake | March 2017

My dear young friends – what a blessing it is to know you! As I serve with you I feel Heavenly Father’s love and concern for you. He loves you with a depth you cannot now comprehend. I love you and care deeply for what happens in your life. Every day you are in my heart and prayers. Wherever you are on your personal journey I am here for you - please reach out if there is ever anything I can do for you.

I have sought the Lord’s guidance that I might focus my writing on the most important and impactful things for you to hear at this time of your life. It is a message which is near to my heart and I hope it brings you understanding, strength, peace, hope, and courage! I pray the Spirit of the Lord will be with you and personalize this message for your specific needs and concerns.

Have you ever felt like there are multiple versions of yourself? In particular do you ever feel the raging battle within between your eternal spirit and your mortal body?

I have often felt conflicted in understanding my nature as an eternal spiritual being while also being very aware of the natural man inside me. To some degree I have always known the church was true. The gospel and Plan of Salvation make sense to me – they feel innately right. But knowing these things alone do not alleviate temptation and I make a lot of mistakes.

As a teenager I was generally obedient to the gospel and I had pretty good gospel habits (prayer, scripture study, etc…). But I also had a lot of questions and feelings – some which brought me closer to the Lord and some which did not. Deep in my heart I wondered why? Why when I read my scriptures and go to church do I still face temptations like I do? Why do I keep making mistakes? Why do I still desire to make bad choices? Why do I still have doubts? Why do I wonder if Heavenly Father really has a place for me in His plan and His Kingdom?

And at the heart of these questions was a growing conflict – am I spiritual or not? If I am a spiritual being, why do I feel the passions, pride, or doubts that I do? These questions haunted me – they still do. I felt like I was a good person living a good life and from the outside I think most people would agree – but inside was a daily battle that few understood. And while others may have been blind to my reality, I was not. After several years of working through these questions I started finding answers.

I learned that weakness is not a sin and that weakness comes from God to help us become like Him (Ether 12:27). Satan likes to make us think that if we have weakness or vulnerability we must be fundamentally flawed and eternally damaged. It is true that we all need repentance and the Atonement – none of us can do it alone. But we can reject Satan’s taunts, and because of Christ we can learn to glory in our infirmities (see Paul’s Epistle on this in 2 Corinthians 12 – seriously go read this chapter!).

The more I studied I began to realize that the best among us struggle, that weakness really can lead to strength, and that we can overcome. I took heart in the Lord’s words given to Alma the Younger (someone who knew a thing or two about mistakes and weakness): 

"And the Lord said unto me: Marvel not that all mankind, yea, men and women, all nations, kindreds, tongues and people, must be born of God, changed from their carnal and fallen state, to a state of righteousness, being redeemed of God, becoming his sons and his daughters; and thus they become new creatures."  - Mosiah 27:25-26

Consider those words - "Marvel not."  

I started to realize that progress is really a “line upon line” type of activity. More importantly I was coming to know that God is much more concerned about who we are – and who with His help we can become – than He is concerned about who we once were or what we’ve done. I realized that nobody should be identified or judged only by their weakness or the worst thing they’ve done. We are a culmination of our entire life – not just the worst parts of it.

The principle of "marvel not" does not imply acceptance or tolerance with anything less than divine.  It does not excuse behavior nor does it rationalize future choices. It is not foolishly optimistic or pessimistic.  Rather it indicates a faithful steadiness and consistency in striving, an appropriate recognition of our mortal condition within a correct perspective of the plan of salvation.  So my young friends when life, or the world, or poor choices have you down - marvel not! And then look to Him through whom we can find forgiveness, peace, strength, and the "power to become." (D&C 39:4)

This concept sheds additional light on Alma’s the Younger’s later teachings to his sons in Alma 36-42, and particularly to Shiblon, a “good son”, to whom Alma gave the counsel “bridle all your passions.” Corianton may have been running after the harlot Isabel but Alma understood that even his good sons had weaknesses and needed strengthening. We all have moments of weakness and vulnerability. That good people have temptation does not make them evil, it makes them human. The temptation does not define them. Learning to live with a spirit and a body was the point of coming to earth.

With this in mind please consider this quote from CS Lewis:

“No man knows how bad he is till he has tried very hard to be good. A silly idea is current that good people do not know what temptation means. This is an obvious lie. Only those who try to resist temptation know how strong it is. After all, you find out the strength of the German army by fighting against it, not by giving in. You find out the strength of a wind by trying to walk against it, not by lying down. A man who gives in to temptation after five minutes simply does not know what it would have been like an hour later. That is why bad people, in one sense, know very little about badness — they have lived a sheltered life by always giving in. We never find out the strength of the evil impulse inside us until we try to fight it: and Christ, because He was the only man who never yielded to temptation, is also the only man who knows to the full what temptation means — the only complete realist.”


Additionally I think these two verses of the poem “Good Timber” by Douglas Malloch illustrate the concept well:
The tree that never had to fight, for sun and sky and air and light;
But stood out in the open plain, and always got its share of rain,
Never became a forest king, but lived and died a scrubby thing.

Good timber does not grow with ease: the stronger wind, the stronger trees;
The further sky, the greater length; the more the storm, the more the strength.
By sun and cold, by rain and snow, in trees and men good timbers grow.

You are warriors! And as I have served with you I have come to know the potential Heavenly Father sees in you – individually and collectively. In his eyes you are to become Kings and Queens! Just look at the promises made in D&C 132 “[they] shall inherit thrones, kingdoms, principalities, and powers, dominions…. Then shall they be gods.” We know the path to these blessings requires that we pass through this world, where we learn from making mistakes and having all the experiences of mortality.

Though we experience desires, habits, and appetites which are contrary to the character of God, as spirit children of Heavenly Father, we do have a divine nature and destiny to become as He is. God created a Plan of Salvation and provided a Savior, not only that we could repent, but that we could learn to put off our natural man and become a saint such “that we have no more disposition to do evil, but to do good continually.” (Mosiah 3:19; 5:2) I believe this fundamental change of our character is, in many ways, the ultimate miracle and most potent application of the Atonement – not only that we can return home to our Father in Heaven, but that we can actually feel at home there. That we can feel at-one with ourselves and with God through the at-one-ment of Jesus Christ, the battle within subsiding as our spirit asserts its pre-eminence and we claim our divine heritage and potential.

To do this requires more than just being converted to the Gospel of Jesus Christ, we must be converted by the Gospel of Jesus Christ. A checklist approach to the gospel only gets us so far, eventually we need a full and complete change of heart. We have to pray to feel close to Heavenly Father – not just to get to the amen. We have to read the scriptures to feel their impact in our hearts – not just get words in our heads. We need to partake of the sacrament to commune with heaven – not just because it’s part of our weekly routine.

We have to learn to use our agency to reject the natural man and embrace the atonement. This deliberate choice is central to our eternal progression. There is something significant in having tasted the good and the evil – experiencing the fullness of our spiritual and mortal selves – and then having the power of choosing of our own free will what we’ll become. Agency was central to the plan and God knew we would make mistakes worth learning from – that’s why He sent us here! It’s also why He provided a way for us to return through faith, repentance, and receiving all the ordinances and covenants of the gospel.

Repentance is a gift and a joy made possible by the atonement of Christ! Too often the culture of our church is unnecessarily harsh on those needing repentance. Often we are too hard on ourselves. When we understand that weakness is not a sin and the principle of ‘Marvel Not’ we are better enabled to find real and meaningful progress in repentance. Remember that a hospital is helpful when you are hurt only if you go in and allow the doctors to do their work – simply knowing it’s there, or driving by, or touching the wall will not heal you. Obedience is best, but we all sin. And though repentance may be painful it is always worth it. There is no shame in repenting because it is the only path to become our best selves! It takes courage, but please repent! Daily if needed! And please change the culture – the church needs to be a hospital for sinners, not a museum for saints!

You live in a day of promise and wonder. The opportunities you have are a fulfillment of promises and prophesies the Lord gave to those who came before you. In particular you can be Millennials in the truest sense of the word and become a sin-resistant generation. A generation experienced in the hand to hand combat with Satan. A generation who ultimately comes out victorious because of your faith in Christ.  A generation prepared to meet the Lord! (See 1 Nephi 22:26; Revelation 20:2)

I believe in Christ! My weakness is made strong through His atonement. I have experienced the soothing forgiveness only He can provide. His death on the cross and subsequent resurrection change everything! Because of Him we have hope that we can overcome, we can persevere, and we can become as he is. I love Him and I praise His name. I pray that God will strengthen each of you in your daily battles!

With all my love,


Brother Montoya

Friday, December 2, 2016

Paternity Leave

Paternity leave was a dream! Seriously. Tommy's big project ended on October 1. He had a some follow-up work and a short business trip to Geneva, but other than that he was able to work most of the month from home. And he didn't have nearly as much to do, so he was able to hang out with us in the mornings and go places with us. Then he started his official paternity leave in November. This year P&G changed their policy to give 4 weeks of paternity leave. We were glad we had a baby this year to enjoy that perk!

We started the month off with a trip to Tennessee to visit the Great Smoky Mountain National Park. We stayed in a cabin in Pigeon Forge and it was so much fun! Our cabin was super secluded, had a hot tub and pool table, and plenty of space. We were able to cook several of our meals there and it was just perfect. We went hiking in the park each day and LOVED being outside to enjoy the wonderful fall weather. Our kids were awesome hikers and it was just so rejuvenating. We also spent time in Gatlinburg walking around the shops, eating out, and playing mini golf. We realized it was our first vacation that was just for us - we weren't traveling to visit family or to go for a conference or anything - it was just our little family and it was perfect.
The rest of the month was just as fun and relaxing! We did several house projects (major organization and clean outs, raked leaves, replaced lightbulbs and light fixtures, got a new washer and dryer (because our's died!), hung Christmas lights, etc), ran errands together, went to lots of parks to play and go on walks, and went on adventures (zoo, museums, discovery garden). We also got to be pretty lazy - we rarely got out of bed before the kids, watched lots of movies, and introduced the boys to Mario Kart.
The boys became super attached to Tommy. He is amazing. I can't even describe all the ways that he is helpful - but I am so grateful! He pretty much potty trained Caleb on his own, changed diapers, got kids dressed, made breakfast everyday and lunch often, got kids ready for bed, did preschool drop off and pick up, baked with the kids, and played and played and played with them! Bradley started calling him "Tommy" and I think it's because he is legitimately his best friend.

I feel like November was almost perfect. It was just such a great month and I find myself feeling so incredibly grateful that it all worked out the way it did. It was so nice that Tommy was between jobs at P&G so his mental space was just free and clear. I will always think fondly of this time we had together.

Wednesday, October 5, 2016

Naomi

Naomi Joyce joined our family on September 23. She weighed 8lbs 11oz and was 21 inches long.

I had a dr appointment on Thursday morning and was dilated to a 4. The dr said it probably wouldn't be long and that I could get induced starting the next day (39 weeks) if I wanted to. We had actually hoped she would come the 23rd so we explored that option, but the induction schedule was full for Friday so we just didn't worry about it. I was positive for strep B this time so I needed to get the antibiotics during labor. The dr told me that if I had contractions for about an hour to come in so they could start that (especially since my labor was so fast with Caleb).

We went on a couple walks that evening and I was having contractions. At about 10:30pm they started getting more intense. We waited for a little bit and then decided to go in. When I was checked at the hospital I was at a 6, so I was admitted immediately. I got an epidural at 1:15 am. At 5:22 they broke my water and gave me the smallest dose of pitocin to help things along. At 8:29 I started pushing and at 8:42 she was born!
I think it was actually my favorite birth experience so far. It didn't drag out but wasn't crazy fast like Caleb's. My epidural was perfect because I could still move my legs, feel the contractions and pressure, and I could feel her come out, but I didn't feel all the pain. They also left her with me for nearly an hour before even weighing her and cleaning her up. They just immediately laid her on me for skin-to-skin and nursing and didn't take her until I was ready. We also had a great experience at the hospital (it's new, so I wasn't sure what to expect because I had heard mixed things). It was so peaceful and quiet, they gave us a "birthday cake" from a local bakery, a super nice "celebratory" dinner for me and Tommy, a gift (including things for the baby and a massage gift card for me), and they really did a good job giving us space. They came in for vitals, but not as often as I remembered in the past. It was great.

The boys have adjusted really well! We haven't really seen any changes in behavior from them and they just adore her. Bradley of course wants to touch and love on her all the time. Caleb loves to see her and talk to her and then ignores her. Every time she cries he says over and over, "Ok baby dider (sister)!" It's adorable.

My recovery has been fast and easy this time. My emotions have been pretty stable and the transition to 3 kids has been easier than I expected so far. She has been eating like a champ and sleeping well for a newborn. She is very calm and still when she's awake. We just adore this little girl and are so happy she has joined our family!

Thursday, July 14, 2016

Philmont

The past few months have been pure craziness and I am so far behind on keeping record of it. But instead of backtracking, I'm going to pick up from right now.

We just got back from Philmont and Arizona. Philmont is a big scout ranch in New Mexico. Every summer they do 2 one-week LDS training sessions. It is for Stake Presidencies and Stake Young Men Presidents, so we were invited this year. Our Stake president and his family went with us. It was an amazing experience for us! I actually got to go to Philmont when I was a kid, so I kinda knew what to expect, but it was different as an adult.

It is super family friendly and the kids had a blast. They loved getting to sleep in tents and play in the dirt and rocks. And every day they have programs for each age group of kids for them to go to all day. So the boys were taken care of for most of the day while Tommy was in training and I got to do fun stuff with all the other women. They had such fun options for the women like hiking, horse back riding, white water rafting, COPE course, craft center, museum tours, dutch oven cooking, etc. My options were limited since I'm big and pregnant, but it was so relaxing and fun. And I loved getting to meet and know all the other amazing women!

This conference is put on by the General Young Men Presidency and Board and the General Primary Presidency. We got to meet them all and have good interactions with them. Seriously, the week was so spiritually uplifting. It felt like Youth Conference for adults. Tommy and I left so uplifted and determined to try even harder. We especially felt really strengthened as a family. It was so inspiring to be around all the other amazing families and see their good examples. We were definitely the youngest family there and we feel grateful for the opportunity we had to be around such great families and see their examples while still so young.


Sunday after church, Sister Bingham (counselor in General Primary presidency) found us at lunch and told us that Bradley was one of the loudest singers in primary. She just loved him and took a picture of him and emailed it to us.  
One of the nights was Western night, with a Primary parade, BBQ, and games and activities on the lawn. All the kids made costumes out of butcher paper for the parade. I helped Bradley make his penguin costume.  
Bradley helped Sister Cordon throw candy in the parade.
 
Tommy made a leather Philmont belt (a common keepsake there) at the craft center. He really enjoyed making it. 
Us with Sister Bingham, who loved Bradley.  
President Foister, President Owen (General YM president), and Tommy 
Bradley was one of 2 kids who did the requirements to receive a Junior Ranger badge. I wasn't sure how he would feel about getting called up in front of everyone during the closing ceremony. But when they called his name he literally jumped off our bench and ran up there. He was very proud. :) 
Each group did a song or skit at the closing ceremony. This was the youngest group, The Small Frys, where both of our boys were all week.  
It was surprising such a great week!!! We have talked a lot about it since. We really enjoyed all the family time we had and the boys had a blast with all the activities. And it was just so uplifting. Great week!


Friday, May 13, 2016

Europe Trip - Geneva

The last portion of our trip was in Geneva, Switzerland. Tommy has traveled to Geneva a LOT for work and he knows it well. He had work there the week after our trip so we built it in so I could come see where he spends so much time.

We arrived Sunday afternoon and walked around the city. We went to the Museum of the Reformation, St Pierre Cathedral, the underground archaeological site at the cathedral, and the Wall of the Bastions. All of it was very interesting. We paid to go up to the top of the cathedral and that was really cool. I wish I had counted how many stairs in the spiral staircase it took to get up there...but I was definitely dizzy at the top from it.
We had dinner that night at Lugia's and it was delicious. 

Tommy took Monday as a vacation day, but he did need to get caught up on email so that when he went into the office on Tuesday he wasn't too overwhelmed. There actually isn't a ton to do in Geneva itself and all of our plans to go to nearby cities fell through because lots of things are closed on Monday. I had told Tommy though that all I wanted on my last day was to sleep in and just relax. So we actually didn't end up doing much on Monday and it was the perfect way to end our trip!! 

After breakfast at the hotel we walked to the hotel pool to check it out and it was gorgeous!! And there was no one there, so we immediately went and changed and went swimming. Honestly, it was probably the most fun I've had swimming since I was a kid. It was such a relaxing environment, I wasn't worried about keeping my hair dry, I had no kids, and we had it to ourselves. We had so much fun playing games and swimming laps. Afterwards we went and laid on their amazing and comfy hammocks and dozed off for a while. Seriously...it was heavenly. 
Then I took a long time showering and getting ready while Tommy did some work. In the afternoon we went to the market and bought some lunch and pastries (and chocolate) to eat outside. My favorite pastry from Europe was this one. I requested it twice because I loved it. Tommy gets one often when he comes. Then we walked around the city some more and window shopped.
Then we went to the Hotel Edelweiss for dinner to have traditional Swiss fondue. They have live music each night and it was amazing! He even played the big huge alpine horn. I loved it. The dinner was delicious but also super heavy.
As we got up to leave the restaurant, a table of 3 older American couples asked us if we were on our honeymoon so we stopped to talk to them for a few minutes. They were so cute. They were 3 couples who met in college and have stayed friends and every year they take a big trip somewhere. One of the men said he knew we were Americans because I was wearing pearl earrings. I thought that was interesting and funny - and he was right. They made us happy. 

Tuesday morning I left to fly home to the boys and Tommy went to work until Friday. It was a long flight home and I was exhausted and sick...but I was happy to see the boys again. Caleb looked huge to me. 
It was all such a great trip! I can't say it enough. Everything was perfect. I'm so grateful my parents were willing to watch our boys and that we got to go!