Beginning of year 2012

I can't say that its a nice one. Instead i felt stress for it.

had never been joyful.

Feeling lonely and depressed most of the times.

Hoping that someone would understand me;

However, i know that mankind are not dependable. Only god does.

Will stand firm on God's words.

bored - Happy new year 2012

waking up without purpose everyday.
since when i lost the passion in doing things.
no longer good at piano, no longer good at writing, no longer good at making cards, perhaps?



the only thing i can say is.. i've changed.
became quiet.

perhaps i lost my confidence.
lost my joyfulness.

ugh, i dont know.
i think 4 months holiday is too long for me.


I dont feel like hanging out with friends as that costs a lot..
maybe i've started to know how difficult my parents earn money.

I need exercises but i could not wakt up as early as i did in secondary.

growing old or matured or lazy? grr.



Sometimes i really feel that my life is meaningless...for the meantime.
as i dont find any satisfaction in everything i've done.

Its pointless to say what i'm doing everyday because its just the same, wake up, day dream, tv, piano, fb, house chores.

Just simply lost the passion in doing everything. I HATE IT.=.=

Even going out with friends, i don't know what can i talk about. Maybe its because of the fear of revealing certain secrets.


whatever it is. Its a new year and i need to get back to my study life in another 2 months.
Just hope that everything would be fine, and i must stand firm on God's words.

Hopefully i could find my joyfulness and target in life.
Sometimes i really feel like sharing my actual feelings but who cares?
people will only think that i'm emo.
i rather keep everything just for myself..until the point that i couldn't bear further.


just list down my wishes for the year..

* improve my piano
* be self dependent in my studies
* be happy
* get rid of unnecessary fats
* improve my skin condition
* stand firm in god's words
* be confident
* have wisdom


happy new year..though i dont really feel the excitement. argh.

morning.

Early in the morning. Not feeling happy.

Can i don't stand all these?

I'm sick of it.

I hate my life like this.

happy birthday...

today's my 19th birthday..

Still.. i have to say i'm feeling any excited..
not even a little..


Well.. I know the reason i guess. Don't ask me why.
I miss my busy life..
I don't want to be free that i'd think too much.


Will try to plan smth for my holiday.
i'm 19th.. happy birthday? Not really. But its my own problem.

But i do really feel grateful for having nice people beside me all the times. Thank god.

:(

I'm not happy...

Sometimes you just wish that someone could understand you. When there's a wish, there's a disappointment.

Totally lost my excitement on birthday. I'm not sure with the reason. Whatever it is.
Its my last teenage birthday.

ugh. Hate this feeling. Can't i just welcome my birthday with a smile? I couldn't make it. Such a simple thing.

Anyway I'll try my best to make my birthday happy, blessed and memorable.

Emotional :x

Well, logos left. I missed it like crazy. I miss the times spent on the ship. All are sweet memories :')

I'm missing everyone who entered my life. :')

Ugh the feeling.. dislike!!. Missing someone really made me feel bad.

However I have made my decision. Never try never know.

I've lost myself.. once again. grr. Time to find my way back.

Why am i so emotional. Is it because i'm artistic? lols

aww :)

Met new friends on the ship, both international and sabah friends.
Its my friend's last day today, and she purposely ask me to get uniform for her, so that she could stick a lovely card on my locker. I'm touched !!

Thank god for the special experience. I really appreciate it and will treasure it.

Yesterday was memorable because I was forced to tell a story to strangers. Yeah was forced cz i was being dragged there. hahaha. Did paintings on children's hands, seeing their satisfied smiles, i myself got satisfied as well. :) kids are inocent. hehe. Love them. Though some are like evil, cz they feel like they knows everything where they dont XD