down and beaten.
flashbacks just haunts you.
memories that stings.
what are you to do?
sigh.
its more then ever. more then words.

161010 - the OOC Cadet

i fought my way into ocs.. wanting to be an officer.. to make a difference in my life. and to make my parents proud. first day into training.. my knee hurts.. 2nd day.. i reported sick.. 84 days of RMJ.. its omg. now im pending to be out of course.. there's many uncertainties in my mind.. what is going to happen to me now.. is my knees ok? i lost my chance to be a commander.. i cant make my parents proud by becoming an officer.. so much.. while everyone is doing PT. im here.. waiting.. so much time to think about things.. too much time..

i really want to stay on.. but i guess i cant.. 6 days has past but i feel like i know them for some time.. don like to keep changing places.. one of my fren told me he wont forget about me.. but. BUT. look at what happened... haha.. i told him.. go into army.. be gone and forgotten. he said no.. he will rmb me.. but where is he now.. oh well.. i gave up my happiness and future to someone.. and yup.. its gone now..

feeling so emo now.. if i can slp and not wake up.. maybe i will..

.tim *yet again.. i regret letting you have my happiness*

as much as i hate u. i don hate u too.

as much as i wan to say. i don wan to say too.

happy jiu hao =)

bye everyone.. hope i sleep and nv wake up..

if ever i do.. see u all next mth... pfft

.tim *i don wan to! but do i have a choice?*

081010 - Update~

POP lo! its been awhile since i updated.. there's just no timeeeee... anyway... POPed at marnina floating platform on 021010.. first batch.. quite happy.. the 24 km march was killer... i is shag. haha.. blisters and everything.. but hey! i survived! bye BMTC... bye tekong!

and now posting is out

1.	You are posted to	OCS (ARMY WING).
2.	Your vocation is	OFFR CADET(CBT).

haha... im now an officer cadet trainee.. good or bad? 9 mths is not very short.. the training will be so tough.. will i be able to survive it? yes i can.. nv say die.. so i've gotta report for duty on monday.. 111010.. by 8am.. wow.. and its like at SAFTI MI.. which is at jookoon?! wtf.. quite very far ya... and ive gotta bring all my rubbish! the big big duffle bag with all the rubbishhhhh.. pfffft... so heavy... and 3 weeks confinement... will my hp last???? omg.....

.tim