for making me cry...

time: 1.20am

tonight im exhausted. From the anxiety of anticipation, to the numbness of revelation. Come to think of it, two totally different matters, but yet both so close to my heart.

So, no, i wouldnt want to relive tonight again. But i will certainly wan to remember what i got out of it.

A promise made to me and a resolve to myself.

oh yes, and by the way...merry belated christmas. :)

Im 7 all over again

time: 10.35pm

This evening was a small annual gathering for 3 primary one girls and their form teacher. Of course, the girls were primary one back in 1994.

Today, me, clara and li yun met up again in miss yeo's house. This time we had miss chia and miss le with us. It was kind of surreal to be surrounded by the same teacher we had adored when we were 7. Miss yeo had always been my favourite teacher because she was just sooo nice. Never patronising, always patient, she made every primary one kid feel like a proper person!

Time flies, perspective change. No longer are these teacher the awe-mighty figures that use to determine if you could go to the toilet or drink water in class. You didnt have to raise your hand when you wanted to talk to them, you could finally address them by their first name. And never in my wildest dreams would i think that 14 years time, i would be seated round the table eating popiah with them and laughing over the most ridiculous things.

To be honest I was a little unsure before meeting the girls. The last time we met was also at miss yeo's house more than a year ago. I have definitely drifted more away from them than them from each other. No longer are they my best friends, but there is a familiar presence being with them. We may not be exchanging secrets but it amazes me that these are pple i have known for more than half my life. More incredible are the stuff they rememeber about our primary school days, memories that have long sat dusty and forgotten.

We plan to meet up again during the summer holidays and well...i hope we do. :)

blue toe

time: 8.30pm

oh yes..and i forgot to mention in my last entry...

i have a blue toe! :D

okok..disregard the smiley face. its kind of gross really. The nail is dead i think and a few days ago, it felt like it was coming out at the sides. Today..it feels find, it LOOKS attached, but....its still blue.

haiz :(

I have a 10km run this sunday...and im farrr from being in shape for it. Plus i hope the blue toe doesnt handicap me. Pay so much, run so little and still not confident of finishing it. :S Im going to wrap my toe on that day, keep it well protected...you know, my greatest fear is to see half the nail dangling off my toe with the new nail growing beneath it. That. is. ultimate. er xin-ness.

I will never force my feet into shoes too small for me ever again. roar

disappearing act

time: 8pm

its been a while since the exams ended. I never did blog about it. what can i say...it was quite a mess. This sem has been...a half hearted affair. My heart and mind was never fully in it, yet the work load was intense and the studying, text heavy. Media economics turned out not as bad as me and char would have thought, and stats sucked me dry. lol sigh...when the results do come out, i guess i have no one to blame but myself. Then put it aside and worry again two sems later!

And since the exams have ended, i have been having fun. With total freedom and time spend with all that matters, i guess im happy. Im contented, loved and blissful. But this happiness can be scary. Life at this moment cant get any better and even as the smile plays on my lips, i never let it show fully. Skeptic? Maybe..cause even when life can be pretty perfect, no one knows when it will all disappear or change. Still...im living it and im learning to simply indulge in it. Since being happy is not a given. i shouldnt waste it, right? :)

Spending time at home is also different...i like simply being around my family, even at moments when they drive me crazy. I realise that i never did spend a full weekend at home for the past month! I shudder to think that i would become one of those hall dwellers who spend their days coop up at hall. Maybe this could explain my inertia in going back hall this hols, though my reluctance to do so may just cost me a room next year. Oh well...there is always home to go to.

Next week, we will be going taipei tgt and it will be a family trip after quite some time! :D Im just praying that the weather isnt toooo wet and my sense of direction doesnt fail me toooo badly (then again, i dun have much of a sense to talk of. -_-)

and to all of you going on overseas trips...HAVE FUN! :D