Morning Musings

I always have so much on my mind in the morning. Sometimes it's about family, sometimes school, sometimes church, and often about what I need to be doing to be a better person. I have more emotional experiences in the morning than at any other part of the day. I love being awake in the quiet and I love just listening to the Spirit in that quiet time.

Today, I have so many thoughts going through my mind. First, I don't have to visit with the doctor for another month. I am so very grateful for that. I feel like I am making progress. And with that progress comes the desire to try to get pregnant again. I know logically that I need to wait a few months, and will. However, I still want to have a baby. I just keep praying that Heavenly Father will let me know when the time is right.

I also think incessantly about my blasted thesis. I have to get it done and it is dragging. I feel so inadequate when it comes to writing. I don't have the same gifts as some of my family members for writing and it's harder for me to put down in writing all that is in my mind. But, I will get it done. This week. That's my goal.

My weight has really been bothering me. For so long I have been focusing on surviving chemo and doctors visits and such and I haven't really worried about it. But now that I feel so much better physically, I am concerned about the weight that I have put on and really want to deal with it. I keep thinking that this summer will be the time for me to really focus on myself. I look forward to going for long walks with my puppy and enjoying the sun.

School needs to just end. This is silly that we are in school for so long. Teachers don't get out until the 8th of June and that seems like forever away. At least we have rainy weather to keep the kids from climbing the walls and going crazy from being in the classroom. Yay for summer!

And now thoughts of my paper resurface and I think I better go work on it. :)

Happy Thursday All!

Tender Mercies

I feel like I have been so blessed and so watched over. The last visit to the doctors was a good one. After the previous visit, which was positive, but still with chemo, it was amazing for him to tell me that my numbers were like .47 or something like that. And unless they decided to go back up, I would be done with chemo! There are some of you who might know what I am feeling, but for the most part, no one really knows how happy that makes me.

It has been three weeks since my last chemo and I feel better today than I have felt in seven months. I feel like myself again and for that I am eternally grateful. The Lord has been so good to me and has made my life so rich and full. And I am just so glad that I don't have to be sick and that I can now work on staying healthy.

As for having kids in the future - as soon as they give me the go ahead, I will try again. I've had two opinions from two specialists. One (who deals with this on a daily basis) says to wait about three months. The other (I'm only his second patient with this problem) says to wait about a year. I told him that I would be going with what the other specialist said. So long as my body remains healthy and strong.

I just want to say thanks to all of you for your love an support. It's mostly family that reads this silly thing and they have been so very good to me. I love you all and look forward to future happy news. :)

xoxo