Childhood

Life was soo simple as a child. There are days when I would give anything to play in the sand on the beach without a worry in the world. I wish I could let my worries go and just relish in the season. I'll have to be better at that.

To the simple life...

Kids :)

Today in class I asked the students to share one of their favorite family traditions/memories of Christmas. It was fun to hear some of the funny stories and the sweet experiences that they have had. They make me laugh.

But today, the best one was as follows -

"I took pictures (well I didn't, my friends did) and went to temple square (you know the place) with the big building that looks like a set from Harry Potter that I thought was a library."

Although it made me laugh, becuase this kid if funny and crazy, (craziness makes him funny) I really wanted to tell him what the building was for. That it is the most beautiful and wonderful place in the world.



The building he is talking about is the Salt Lake LDS temple. The Temple is used for wonderful, sacred things. Where families can become eternal families. Where couples can make vows for the eternities. Where we can feel the presence of the Lord, Jesus Christ. Where we can leave the world behind and focus on what really matters.

The Temple is my most favorite place in the whole wide world!!

From Cory...

6:33 Am, Thursday

Cory
Hey I woke up this morning very in love with you :)

Me
Oh yeah!?! How come?


Cory
Cause that's how I fell asleep



AHHHH....
What a way to start the day. I don't think they get any sweeter than that. I think today will be a good day.

Tennis balls and Pepsi

This time of year, we usually take a trip down to St. George to visit with my dad's family. The best part of that annual trip was being able to see Grandpa Platt.

Growing up, Grandpa Platt was a very big part of our lives. He would go with us on camping trips and hikes. He would come work at the nursery later on just to spend time with family. He would have us over to his house to spend time there. And for me, he was the one of the only grandparents that I was able to really get to know. My dad's mom died when I was a baby. My mom's mom died when my mom was a baby. And my mom's other parents (it's complicated) I knew but my grandma was sick for as long as I can remember. And grandpa took care of grandma on a full time basis. So, to make a long story somewhat shorter, I really love and respect Grandpa Platt.

Grandpa wore his hats just slightly crooked on his head. He always had a ballcap on. Except in church of course. Grandpa loved to tease us! He would get us all riled up and crazy, then stop instantly and drive us all crazy. Grandpa wore tennis shoes with velcro. Maybe not always but in his older years. Grandpa was also addicted to Pepsi. He seldom drank water. Just pepsi. And he always had one with him.



One summer, we as a family, decided to hike Timp. We were all pretty young and Grandpa came along with us to help and be with the family. There is a small secret about grandpa(my dad is his favorite). Grandpa got about half way through the hike and was exhausted. He wasn't going to be able to make it all the way to the summit. So, one of us had to stay back. I decided to stay back with him. And to be completely honest, that was the most boring time of my life! He slept, and I waited and waited and waited. But I was with grandpa. That was all that mattered.

I wish he was still with us. I wish that I could go to St. George and spend time with Grandpa. I wish I could drink a pepsi with him and see his crooked smile and see the tennis balls that he would put over his trailer hitches on his truck and wonder why he did that. Those were the good old days.

HELP??

What do I get Cory for Christmas? I have thought of scriptures, but his parents are doing that for his brother. I thought of the office dvd's, but he wants those and I want this to be a surprise. I just don't know....

any suggestions?

Moments

I have moments in my life when I am completely at ease with myself and my progress. There are also moments in my life when I am totally confused about who I am and what may come next. I have always struggled with my physical appearance. If you were to see a picture of me, you would think I was a pretty normal girl. But, that's just it. You don't see many pictures of me. I am not comfortable with who I am.

I have tried so many different diets, thinking that the next one is the one. This time it'll be different. I won't feel like I'm starving. I won't feel lightheaded. I won't be discouraged and give up. I won't hit the same plateau. I won't gain the weight back. I recently tried the HCG diet, till I hit the same plateau, and I wasn't comfortable with their ideas for getting off the plateau, so I stopped. And it has been a steady incline of my weight since then. Slow, mind you, but steady. I feel terrible! Like I failed again.

A few weeks ago, I started reading a book called Intuitive Eating. This is a book focused on throwing out the diet mentality. Getting rid of the idea that there is a quick fix to the problem. I have learned that I have ruined my metabolism through all my dieting. I have learned that I don't trust myself with food. I have learned that I am afraid that if I don't eat it NOW, I won't ever get it again. I have learned that I have bought into the idea that I am somehow not good enough because I am not a size 2. And I am trying to find my intuitive eater. The one that says if I am hungry, it's okay to eat. The one that says that if I am craving a piece of chocolate, it's okay to eat it. Just don't eat the whole bag. The intuitive eater that says if I am satisfied, than I need to stop eating and when I get hungry I can come back for more. I don't have to eat till I am stuffed.

And, really, I am learning. But last night, I had convinced myself that I needed to go on the HCG diet again. And I tried to convince my sister to do it with me. Even though I think she knows that it really isn't a good idea. And it took me an hour or so lying in bed to remember all that I was learning and that it would be a bad idea.

I think we all have something like this in our lives. Times when there is one thing we just don't feel like we measure up in. Today I am trying to remind myself of all those moments in my life when I did measure up. The times I accomplished something or did something nice for someone else. The times when I totally did something I never thought I would be able to do; like teach. We all have moments in our lives that we should be proud of and focus on more. The moments that make us happy and at peace.

That is my goal today!

Joy

What do you find joy in? I would love to hear from you. I find joy in so many things...

-baths
-scriptures
-Cory
-family
-Micky
-stars
-Christmas trees


The list could go on and on. Let's see how many things we can find joy in as you add your comments.

Choose-This-Day

Choose-This-Day

I woke up this morning knowing it was going to be a rough day. Yesterday was awful! The kids were so rude and I was exhausted and so today I didn't seem to have much in me to give. My classes so far have been ok, but I keep finding myself short of patience and love as I deal with these silly teenagers. When the bell rang for my second class to leave, I breathed a sigh of relief. I knew I would have an hour and a half to re-group and try to figure out how to make it through my last, very large class. As I sat here, I knew that if I found something uplifting it would make a difference.

President Eyring did it for me. He is inspiring and full of love. I know that I need to be loving and kind. I need to try today to be a better teacher. Whether or not yesterday was awful, today is a new day. The kids today don't know what happened yesterday, so it is my job to be kind and loving to them. I have much to learn, but pray that I will be stronger to do all that I can to show these students love and respect. I watched a video that spoke such peace to my heart. For some reason it wouldn't add to my post, but by clicking on the title, you will be directed to the video.

I just want to say that the Church is true. God lives and He loves us. Christ understands ALL our needs and feelings. I feel so blessed to know that I am a member of the church and that I can find comfort in the teachings. I love President Eyring and felt such a peace as I listened to his testimony and felt of the love he has for the gospel as well as for each of us.

Los Kuna

There is a group of indigenous people that live on the islands off the coast of Panama. They are known as the Kuna Indians. There are over 300 islands in the archipelago, however only a small number of those islands are populated. They are hard working and very dedicated to their families.

Years ago, I had the privilege of living on the island of Nargana. Nargana was connected by bridge to another island, Corazon de Jesus. I was there on these islands for three months and fell in love with the culture, the ocean, the simplicity of life and the cat I adopted to kill the rats. :)

One of the things I loved the most was their dress. They are so talented and I consider the Mola (the shirt they wear) as a piece of art. Not just a shirt for them. They spend day after day designing and sewing these shirts. Often they are made for themselves, but lately they are also made for trade and sale to others as a way of making more money for their homes and families.

One of my dreams is to own as many molas as I can. I use them in my classroom, and actually have my students attempt making one every year. I miss the islands. I miss my friends. I miss their simple smile they made as they talked about the only mergi on the island. How I wish I could go back!

:)

I just wanted to say that I love Cory! He is sweet and kind and funny and makes me feel so good about myself.

Maybe one day I'll post a picture. I just have to find one. :)

Gratitude...

Today one of the things that I am most grateful for about Utah is the landscape. A few years ago we took a family road trip down to Zions. We have some family in St. George and every now and then we are able to escape. I love the mountains! Ever since we were little, we have spent much of our vacation time in the mountains. This is a photo that I took while we were down there. There is such a grandeur in the mountains and I feel very close to the Lord when I am in the mountains. I hope that I never have to live far from them.

Once upon a time...

There was a girl that lived in a far away land. This land was a hard land. There was no running water. No electricity. Rats in the roof. And very different cultural differences between her and the people of the land.

But this girl LOVED this land. And she would give anything to go back. She loved the view from her front porch and longs to feel the ocean breeze on her face again as she greets the day.

One day, she says.

One day...

poor me

I just don't understand why no one comments....

:(

by the way....

I bought him. :)

His name is Micky.

And he is adorable!!!!

Miracles

A couple of weeks ago, I participated in a conference for all foreign language teachers at Weber State. I love this conference. Mostly because I get to see old friends and catch up on their lives. The classes are pretty good, too. It's always a day I get to fill my bucket so that I can find the desire and energy to keep teaching. This last time, I was able to re-connect with a dear friend. She was my mentor while I did my student teaching and I learned so much from her. It was delightful to catch up and rekindle that friendship.

Diana has experienced some real difficult times over the last year or so, and as she sat down to tell me about her life, I gained even more love and respect for her. She talked about her little daughter that was born this summer. Her precious little daughter that had a heart defect. This heart defect only occurs in 1% of all infants. I was saddened for her and amazed at her strength and her peace. (you can read more about her experience on her blog http://my-sweetheart-girl.blogspot.com) As we talked, I learned about many people that go through this and the community they have created to support each other during hard times. As I have read her blog, I have become familiar with a new term that she uses; heart friends.

Yesterday afternoon, my sister-in-law gave birth to their second little boy. I was the first to hold him, besides the parents, and so many thoughts went through my mind as I looked at this perfect little bundle. What a miracle! Our Heavenly Father has given so many the chance to be parents and bring such beautiful babies into this world. I thought of my friend Diana and wondered about the journey each of us agrees to take on the earth. The plan of salvation teaches that we all have a plan. We all made decisions in our pre-earth life about what our mission here on earth would be. Merideth, Diana's little one, had a mission. What is was we may never know. But she fulfilled her mission here on earth and now has the privilege of living with our Father in Heaven. My new nephew has yet to fulfill his mission on earth. He has his life before him. We don't know how long that life is, but I do know that no matter how long or how short, his life is beautiful.


After reading about a number of Diana's heart friends and crying while doing so, I feel such a peace. I feel very blessed and very lucky to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ. To know that God hears and answeres our prayers. To know that He has a plan for each of us, and He wants us to succeed. I know that. I know that He will continue to bless us with these little miracles in our lives and that we can learn so much from these little ones. I know that He loves us. And with that said, I love this little nephew of mine! He is perfect and I can't wait to watch as his mission unfolds.

growing up

When we were kids, our lives were magical. We had a dad who was fond (very much so) of adventures. Everything we did was an adventure.

We drove to Baja Mexico in our suburban with plastic and duct tape for a back window.
We hiked the back side of the G mountain (and got lost)
We captured and took home a rattlesnake so that we could learn about them.
Dad saved a baby hawk and took care of him till he could live on his own.
Mom would send us all to V&S to buy penny candy.
We went swimming all the time.
We went camping in the grand gulch and heard a cougar and saw his footprints.
And the list could go on and on.

I don't really remember where we were for this picture, but we were stopped along the road and we all climbed up and dad took our picture. The adventures we went on were often big and more often than that, small. But to young kids, they were everything. I loved my childhood. It was magical!

Mom and Dad were amazing parents. They taught us so much and our lives are more rich now for all that we were able to experience. I love you both for that!!!

marriage...

When I grow up I want to get married. I have been saying that for a long time, but I think one day it will happen. I have faith. But when I do get married, I hope that my marriage is as good as, and in some ways, better than my parents marriage.

Mostly what I want is for him to love the gospel the way I love the gospel.
Attend the temple with me.
Put the Lord first above all else.
Treat me like a queen.
Hold my hand wherever we go, no matter how old we get.

puppy anyone?

I am an animal lover! For as long as I can remember, I have always wanted and taken care of animals. I love them! Well, the urge for a pet is getting stronger. I decided I was going to buy a dog the other day. I went online and checked out all the little dogs out there. I wanted one that would fit my needs and love me. :)

I found him.

He's adorable!

I want to name him salsa or wink or maybe even topaz or rex.

I want to be his friend.

He wants to live with me.

And I asked Santa to give him to me for christmas

But I am losing hope.

What if he sells?

Oh puppy, I wish you could be mine.

Cory says he needs a two parent home.

Dad says he can't be left alone while i'm in school.

They are both right.

But I still want him.

Who wouldn't?





sigh......

Boys

We in the Platt family are not really great at making boys. We have lots of girly girls running around, and we need more boys.

But the boys that we do have are the cutest and the boy-est.
(i like making my own words.)

Josh and Nick are so boys and I love it! Last fall I captured this picture while they were sitting down between family fotos.

I just wanted to wish you all a happy fall and hope you can be content with the little things in life, just like Josh and Nick.

hero of the day

My hero today is my mom. She is an amazing woman for many reasons.

1. She had triplets
2. and twins
3. She always does her hair and makeup
4. She took seven little kids to the top of Timp
5. She has amazing strength
6. Her prayers are always answered
7. She makes the best bread in the world
8. She loves her family more than anything
9. She lived in spain while pregnant with triplets
10. She lived in brazil and learned to speak portuguese
11. She lets my dad live his dreams
12. She gave us amazing experiences growing up
13. She loves me
    
14. She keeps going even when she's tired
15. She let me ride a donkey when I was little. :)
    

Thanks mom for all you do!
I love you!

OH MY HECK!!!!

I teach in the trailers. (or portables, depending on who is asking)

I don't really like it.

However, I am getting used to it. Especially since they gave me a key to the bathroom closest to my portable.

Today I was getting ready for my first class, and decided I better use the restroom before they got there.

I went out to the bathroom, unlocked the door, walked in, closed the stall door, and turned around and there in front of the toilet was a BLACK WIDOW!

I was very upset. Why you ask? Because now I would have to walk back into the school (my bathroom is another building outside) and use the restroom and I was going to be late to class.

GRRRR!

I hate black widows!

I took it to the top (not really, but the person who I knew would take care of it) he is very nice and said he would send someone to kill the black widow.

What a day!

Today is a BEAUTIFUL day!

There are still no answers to life...

But I did get to kneel down today to pray and that makes things better.

I just wanted to share with you a favorite quote and a favorite picture.

"God will not require perfection...; do all that is within your reach and you will do all that is possible of the impossible."

- Jorge F. Zaballos

sigh....

Is it okay to cry? As much as I do?

Today my heart is broken and I know that I have to live this and to make decisions, but I don't want to.

Life is so hard sometimes!

I got home from school the other day, well home being my mothers house, and was greeted by an ecstatic little Sami. That's the best way to come home, by the way. To a little one that is so excited to see you. Being the aunt is the next best thing to being the mother. It made my day that she was so happy to see me.

She had been working in the garden with mom and was extremely dirty. Being a toddler and all, she didn't mind that she was dirty. But when I mentioned that she should take a bath, she was thrilled. She loves bath time. So we went in the house and she had a nice warm bath.

What we didn't realize was that Sami didn't have any clean clothes or pajamas at grandmas house. So we took a trip down to amandas room and found a smaller shirt that would work for her. Purple. She likes purple. She said it was pretty. We got her dressed, but she was still cold. So I grabbed some of Amandas toe socks, which are very long and put them on her. They went all the way to her diaper, keeping her little legs warm.

I combed her hair and put a little lipstick on, cause how do you refuse when she says "lips" while looking at grandmas makeup.

The effect was the best I've seen. No little one ever looked cuter than Sami did.

Mr. Policeman...

Dear Mr. Policeman...

I just wanted you to know, that it is completely! unfair of you to go only 65 mph on the freeway; in the fast lane!

I know, I know...that's the speed limit! However, no one goes the speed limit. Not even you! Now, if it were just you going the speed limit, I wouldn't be so mad. But when I set my cruise control to 67 mph and was about to pass you while I was driving in the middle lane, you made your stupid sirens sound. AND YOU DID NOTHING ABOUT IT! You didn't race off to save someone, you didn't pull me over, you didn't even turn your lights on. You scared me to death, and you could have caused an accident! And I was only going 67 mph! Do you understand how stupid that is? Then you started going almost 80 mph, and that really ticked me off, cause you were only proving that you wanted to be in control of the freeway when you were going only 65 mph.

Now, because I am a nice person, and sometimes logical, I could talk myself into forgiving you, because technically you are just doing your job. However, you lost all chance of forgiveness when you broke the law to pass a SLOW car by going into the far right lane! Didn't you know that people watch you and they learn from you. And really, they think "if Mr. policeman is passing on the right, then I can too". And it starts this chain of law breakers.

It was at that point that I decided they should fire you. You are an un-fair, law breaker dressed as a fair, law keeper. Bad policeman!

Sincerely -
Tiffany Platt

nuts...

It's official! I am crazy! I don't get life. I don't think I ever will. And the only thing to do is smile, laugh occasionally and pray. :)

I don't think I'll go into details, because I'm not sure I know any details, but I am crazy.

Have a great day!

A hero...

The first day of school, I asked my students to fill out a questionnaire. This way I get to now a little more about them and it allows them to talk to open up a little to the class. One of the questions that I ask them is who in their life do they consider a hero. It's usually the same answers as always...

my mom for giving birth to me
my dad for working for my family
my brother for serving a mission and being a good example
my uncle for teaching my football

All of these are great answers and I love that they are able to see these people as their heroes. But this year, there was one answer that really hit home for me. It's something that I really need to work on. She said...

"My mom, because she didn't grow up with a loving family. You can love your self."

Boy do I need to learn that lesson. I am my worst enemy. I think we all are for the most part, but this is really something that bothers me about myself. Maybe I can learn something from these crazy kids after all.

Random thoughts...

I survived the first week back at school, and I feel pretty good about it. I am extremely exhausted! I don't know how I am going to do this if I am already this tired, but Cory says as I adjust, I'll have more energy. Let's hope he's right!

Sometimes I have to wonder why it is that only 600 or so people have seen my blog, and why over 10000 people have seen Noelle's. :) I should just take the counter thing off.

This weekend I am going to Ferron. I am excited to see Cory. I see him every weekend, but sometimes it feels like weeks have gone by since I have been with him. He helps me be calm and relaxed and enjoy life more. I love that about him. Sometimes I am soooo tense that I forget that life isn't really that hard.

If one wakes up from a nightmare and is scared and stuff, is it really bad if that person swears? I feel horrible!!! It wasn't just any swearword either. It was a serious one. Make me wonder what is really in my head. I guess I need to listen to more church music and less teenager talk.

Ok, my bladder is telling me that it's now or ... So I'm off. Wish me luck on staying awake on the drive home today.

Yeah!

I'm back!

I now have a computer with the internet and easy access, so it will be fun to catch up on my blogging. :)

School starts in two days, and I am excited as well as nervous. All the classes are 30 or more students with one class at 39. I'm not sure how I feel about that, but no teacher ever wants that many, so I won't complain.

Today I feel sorta melancholy. Not sure why, just do. I guess I gotta go do something to keep my mind on happy things. Hope you all have a great day!

Graduation

Today is my students graduation. I have been longing for this day for a while now. I look forward to the break from this group of students. I look forward to sleeping in. I look forward to days off. I even look forward to planning vacations I probably won't take. But today is a bit bitter sweet.

I have been here for three years now, and I am so happy to say that it is my first group of Sophomores that are graduating. I love seeing them in the halls, having them say hi and tell me their stories. I love when they come into my classroom to talk. I even love being able to feel like I can help them in some small way. They are really good kids. And it's a little sad to think that they won't be here next year. I find that sad and happy in a way. There are some that I will really miss. It will be weird to come back and not have them here. But I'm happy too, because they get to move on into the world and discover themselves. Discover what they love and what they don't. Discover the joys and difficulties of being an "adult". (they already think they are)

I look forward to seeing them in their cap and gowns, walking down the aisle, smiling so big becuase they actually made it. Some of them, just barely! Then I get to walk away smiling, because I don't have to deal with students for another 3 months. Happy thought and Happy Graduation!

AGAIN?

Yesterday and Today have been hard. I know that I am an emotional girl and all that. I know that at times I am needy. I know that it will take a miracle for someone to want to put up with that and marry me. I know that God is in charge. I know that life is good. I know that one day I will get it.

BUT...

I feel down. I feel needy. I feel anxious. I woke up four times during the night last night. Worried someone was coming in. Worried that I was too needy. Worried is the key word. I can't seem to shut my mind down enough to sleep. And I think it boils down to two wants. Yep, just two. They're big ones. And I have no control over them whatsoever.

I want to be married and I want to be a mother. I feel so ready. I feel lonely. And these two things are definitely things that I don't want to rush. They aren't things that I want to just happen, like going and buying ice cream. They are two things that will take time and effort. But nonetheless, I want to be married and to be a mother.

And the scripture that keeps playing over and over in my mind is this, "I'll trust in the Lord with all my heart and lean not unto mine own understanding. In all my ways, acknowledge Him, and He will direct my path."

I hope it keeps playing over and over...it seems to help me through a lot.

The last week of School...

Did you know that the last week of high school is ridiculous? Well if you didn't, it is.

Last week they turned in their textbooks. So they have nothing to use for studying or classwork. They also checked out of their lockers. So they have no where to store their things. They are done mentally. Seniors don't come cause they can't flunk at this point. And pretty much they have checked out mentally.

But guess what? So have teachers! This week we try really hard to come up with things for them to do, while not really giving us extra work. Grades are done. Who really cares anyway. :)

So we are watching a movie. Penelope to be exact. They seem to really like it so I just stay here at my desk and try to get things ready for summer.

Summer, blissful summer when I can sleep in until 7 or 8. I can't wait for next week....

Relief

The last few weeks have been really exhausting for my family and me. We have been working crazy hours since the beginning of may. And let me tell you, I am beat. I am still teaching, so I get up at 5:00 to go to school, then I would leave school and go to the nursery to work. At times I was there until 8:30 or 9:00. Then I would go home and try to get some rest before the next day.

The papers were signed a couple of weeks ago and I became the owner of a new townhome. I decided to paint and so after school and the nursery I would go paint for a while. I have become so tired that I don't think I can do it another day. Sometimes I am so tired that I get sick to my stomach. So, following much needed advice, I slowed down on the painting and have been taking things a little more slowly.

Yesterday, I stopped at mom's and dad's house for a little break, and was weeding my garden. I was so relaxing and peaceful. I got to listen to the birds and watch the ants. I was content. Then, the best part of the day came; Sami came over. I haven't seen my nieces in so long and I have missed them. She made my heart so happy!!

So I spent 20 minutes with her playing on the swing until her mom came to get her. It truly is the simple things in life that makes me happy. I loved listening to her laugh as she was swinging and kicking her feet to try to hit me. I loved seeing her smile. And that 20 minutes, was the relief that I needed from way too much stress.

Ferron

Did you know that the world is bigger in Ferron?

It's true. The houses are smaller, because the world around is bigger. The sky is bigger; the stars are brighter and closer; the air is clearer; and it just seems more grandiose than life here in the 'city'. :)

Plus, I got to see cute baby pigs! They are way cute and I really wanted to adopt one, but alas, I don't know a thing about raising pigs. There was one little guy that didn't look so good. I really wanted to make him all better, but what do I do? Once again, I don't know a thing about pigs.

Plus, I saw a garden that puts my little garden to shame. I guess it's the thought that counts. :)

Plus, I got to spend time with Cory, which was a blast! His family is great and we had a nice, relaxing day together.

Plus, I found a new favorite song! (well, really Cory found it) I'm going to try to post it so that you can all hear it, but I think you will love it!

All in all, Ferron is cool!

PIE!!!

Guess what?

Cory came over last night, and he brought me pie!

This is significant because he has made like 4 or 5 pies in the last few weeks, and he loves to tell me when he is eating them and how good they taste. Then I really want some pie and get all jealous that I don't get any.

So, he was very so nice and made pies yesterday and surprised me with one. And it tasted sooo good! He is very talented!

I love pie!

Did you know?

That disneyland is a magical place? I would have never been the one to admit to that, but when I went with Noelle, Becca and Amanda last august, I realized what fun it really is. The best part was spending time with the sisters. We hit all the rides, stayed up late and ate lots of food! It was a great time!

My favorite part was the fireworks. I love fireworks! They are magical to me. I love the colors and the brightness. And they make the whole world around look different. Today is one of those random days when I would love to go back to disneyland to have fun and enjoy the fireworks again.

Let's get going girls. :)

We survived!

Mothers Day weekend at the nursery has come and gone. And the Platt family made it out alive, once again. I took the day off of school to help out, and it was nice to be outside and with the family, making sure they had enough customer service for the masses. We opened at 8 Friday morning, and worked hard all day and stayed there until 9:30 that night. Then some of the brave employees were there at 6:30 Saturday morning, but I didn't make it until 7. We were busy all day and never once slowed down. And remained open until about 8:30. Needless to say, we are all very, very, very exhausted. But when all is said and done....

I am happy! I have lots of reasons to be happy. I have a house. I have a job. I have another job. I have a great family! I have a great friend who keeps me smiling and I have the gospel.

What more could a girl ask for?

Complicated

Life is complicated. There are never really any clear answers. And just when we think we have it all figured out, something else happens. And we have to re focus and re center ourselves to find the peace again.

I met my ex fiance in September of 2007. We had emailed over a five month period and he came to the US to meet me. He was here a short time, and before he left, he proposed. Looking back, I don't really think that was what he wanted to do, or even what I wanted. There was pressure on many sides for him to propose before he left for Guatemala. It was a difficult relationship from the beginning. Cultural differences were big, the language barrier was hard and I never felt completely comfortable with myself.

He left toward the end of November with promises of returning in May. There was little communication between us at this point and it was hard to keep the relationship alive. I visited him in March and had a nice time, but once again there were some difficulties that were too hard for me to assimilate. I left Guatemala, once again with promises that it would be better when he was in the US. He ended up postponing the wedding until the end of June.

During that time, he postponed the wedding again, but came up for a visit during the time we were to be married. I had heard so little from him during this time that I really struggled with his visit up here. He was happy and after some time with him, I felt like it could work. But there were still many problems and concerns to work out. He left with the promise that communication would be better. It wasn't. I heard from him once in the first three weeks of his return to Guatemala. I was hurt and I was frustrated and I no longer knew that I wanted to be married. I didn't want to always take the back burner. I didn't want to be forgotten in our marriage, like I was in our courtship.

I offered a couple of times to live in Guatemala while he finished his school. That way we could be together and start our life together. The first time he said no. The second time, I found out he was no longer studying; working toward the end goal that he had promised me he would take place. I was devastated. We were to be married in December, but this time, I postponed things. I knew that I couldn't marry a man that I hardly knew and one who didn't make me a priority. That was a hard time in my life. A time of trying to move on, and feeling stuck.

It has been two months now since I ended the engagement. And during that two months, I have felt peace and happiness once again. I have been working toward making my life meaningful for me. I bought a house, with the help of my parents. I am working toward starting my masters degree. I even went out on a date. :) And I feel good.

But for some reason, it seems to come back occasionally. I feel that I have to justify my actions and my decisions. I have to re-explain what went wrong and why I made the decision that I did. I have to reassure those around me that I am praying. That I am studying my scriptures. That I am going to the temple. That I am seeking the Lord's will. That I don't mean to be mean. That I just want someone who will love me for me. Who will let me fly. Who will help me laugh. Who thinks for me when my brain turns all girly. And who understands that really, that's all I want.

Murphy is a good man. He taught me many things. He helped me to grow and change in positive ways. But he is not for me. And now comes the hope of someone new and learning and growing in other ways.

Desire, Heart and Frustration

Sami is filled with more heart and umph, than any other little girl that I know. She gets so excited about everything and gives her all to everything. Lately we have all been at the nursery a lot, cause it's that time of year. She has been learning all sorts of new things. She watched as her dad pulled the big, heavy, metal gate shut to end the day. It took her a couple of days, and she was trying herself. This little girl, fought to get this gate to shut. And in the meanwhile, I caught it on camera. She is adorable!!!



the desire



the heart



the frustration

Small things

I'm stitting here thinking that my students are crazy! They are working on the starter for the first ten minutes of class. Here's how it goes....

12:55 bell rings
12:56 kids work on starter
1:16 go over starter together
1:17 - 2:25 see who survives best the remainder of class; teacher or students.

But while I am sitting here, I was looking at a picture that I had taken of the windmill at the nursery. Did you know that it's the simple things in life that make us the most happy. For me, one of the most powerful, simple things is a sunset or a sunrise. They bring more peace and happiness to my heart than most other things.


I hope that this picture brings happiness to your heart as you look at.

Have a great day!

Angels

Sometimes, I wish that I had the gift for writing, like my sister does. I have so many thoughts and ideas inside of me, but to put them down on paper (or blog) is often very difficult. Today, I have been thinking about my parents. They have done so much for me! It is because of them, that I am living the life that I am. I have a good job, becuase they helped me get through school. I have a good work ethic becuase they taught me how to work. I have a testimony of the gospel, because they live their lives by the principles of the gospel. And today, for some reason, I have been thinking about all that my parents have given up for me to have what I do.

Today I sign the final papers to purchase my first home. My dad reminded me that this has been my dream since I was 16. I have always wanted a place of my own. And it wouldn't be possible without the help that my parents are giving me. I feel so blessed to be their daughter.

Well, about 8 months ago, dad lost his barn to a fire. This was devastating to the whole family, but mostly to him. He has put his heart and soul into developing this property. But someone burned it down. The reason that I bring this up again, is because of his selflessness. Instead of using all of his resources to rebuild, he gives freely to all around him. And for that I feel even more grateful; because I am one of the recipients to his giving.

The Meeks

I just found out this morning that our dear neighbor, Jim Meeks, passed away. He has been fighting cancer for a while and has been so strong in all that he has had to endure. Death is hard. And death is even more difficult when we are the ones who are left behind.

My heart hurts for his wife. Patty is an amazing woman and I have admired her since they moved in. She is strong and capable. She lives her life to the fullest and I love her for that. She and her husband have been best friends since childhood, and I can only imagine the loneliness and pain that she must be feeling.

It makes me even more grateful for the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I know that families are eternal! I know that we will be together again, no matter the hardships we face. And I am grateful to know that Jim no longer suffers or hurts. That he is whole and well. My prayers today are with Patty and her kids. I pray that they can fill the Spirit as they work to survive these next few days.

anyone?

What's soft, chewy, mushy and yellow?

Any guesses?

It's my favorite food! (well, one of)

I dare you to guess...

Shouldn't have...

I really wanted to know how many people checked out my blog.

I added a counter.

Now I am sad about how many people just don't find it.



Shouldn't have added the counter.

The best part of the day!

Meet Sami.

Sami has the entire family wrapped around her little finger!

I'm pretty positive that we all feel the same way. She is just the most gregarious, happy child that one can imagine. At 22 months, she has facial expressions and personality that often comes only with those that are 3 or older.

She is just learning to talk. Sissy is horse. ooster is rooster. side is outside. baba is grandpa. didi is tiffany. And so on.

When anyone comes in the door, she will smile her big smile and say... 'hello'. Not hi or anything simpler, she simply says, 'hello'. She will come running to just about anyone and give them a big hug. If you ask for kisses, she will give you a big kiss.

She loves strawberry milk and grandmas jack in the box. Every time it pops up, she responds with surprise. Her favorite person is grandpa, though. And she loves to sit on his lap and eat Sunday dinner, or put his pen in his mouth so he can spit it back out. She especially loves helping grandpa in his office; balancing the checkbook is her specialty.

Sami isn't always sweet, however. She has a temper and she is tricky. :) She knows that grandmas computer is off limits. Well, it was pretty quiet in the kitchen the other day, and so grandma went to check things out. Sami was getting ready to push as many buttons as she could, before grandma found her. Grandma just smiled and said 'uh, oh Sami.' Sami very demurely smiled back and looked at grandma, as she wagged her finger at her. Then, with a huge grin, proceeded to push buttons on the computrer.

Sami, it seems, will wiggle her way into every heart that comes her way.

Pennies....

Many think that pennies are annoying. They add up in our wallets and they make them heavier. They don't add up to enough to really buy anything. And when we need one for the bill that is $5.01, we can't find one. Who really wants pennies. Well, one of my favorite memories/traditions has to do with pennies.

Before my mission, I worked full time at the Nursery. And we only live like 1 mile from the nursery. So I started walking to work with my dad. Every morning, we would get up and get ready for work, and then we would walk. Mom would bring any stuff that I needed, so that I could just start the day. We started out by only going 1 mile or so, and then the route changed over time, and we would walk like three miles.

Sometimes, I complained about these walks, because I am a sweat maniac. Most girls glow or glisten when they are hot. Not me. I sweat!!! I can think about mopping the floor, and I sweat. I can go get the mail on a hot day and begin to sweat. My sweat glands are a bit over excited. I hate it! So, when I would get ready for the day and do my hair and my make-up, it was the pits to show up at the nursery all sweaty, and I hadn't even started my day.

But, the walks became so much fun for me. Not only was it a time for me to be with dad, it was good exercise. I enjoyed the fresh air, and the scenery. I enjoyed talking to dad about everything and anything. He is soooo wise and inteligent. He knows all the right answers. And I loved being able to talk to him.

During these walks, he would pick up every penny that he could find. After a time, I started to join him in picking up pennies. But it didn't take too long for my competitive streak to kick in and it became a competition to see who could find the most pennies or coins. I would push him out of the way, sometimes, so that I could get the penny that he spotted first, fair and square. But I wanted to win.

Now, I can't go anywhere without scouring the roadside for any stray coins. And when I find some, I take them to my dad and he puts them in his big jar. We used to save them for the barn, but now that the barn was burned, I just give them to him without wondering for what.

Every time I see a penny in the road, I think of my dad. And my dad is one of my best friends. I will forever be grateful for all that he has taught me. I love you, Dad.

Dog Sitter

Yesterday, one of my students texted me. (there are very few who have my cell number, mostly student aides)

Platt, will you do me a huge favor?
- maybe....
I have this little puppy, and I need someone to watch him during 3rd period, cause I can't take him to foods.
- yeah, sure. I'll watch him.


I have never seen such a little puppy before, and I wanted to go out and buy one immediately. I told Cory about it, and he quickly told me not to. His exact words were "eewww, yap yap". I guess if he is yappy, I better not get one.

But he is CUTE!

The wedding dress

Today, I woke up with a heavy heart. There are lots of reasons, but I don't really want to go into them. Then, I made matters worse, and pulled out my wedding dress. It's a beautiful dress! And I remembered that I really want to be married, so that I can be a mom.

So, from now on, I can no longer look at the wedding dress. It makes me feel down and sad.

And it takes good friends to send messages, like 'good morning sunshine' to help me remember that life goes on, and that life is good. :)

Thanks Cory...

Linden Nursery

We all know that I am a teacher. But before I was a teacher, I worked at the Linden Nursery, our family's business. I started working there when I was 13 years old. Every day after school, I would go to the nursery and do whatever anyone asked me to do. I was kind of the gopher girl. By the time I was in college, I realized that the nursery just wasn't for me. I don't like retail. I don't like listening to ornery customers. I don't like when they speak disrespectfully to me or another employee, and I just have to listen and still be nice. ( I'm still working on this.)

So, for the last three years, I have been teaching. I work on the busy weekends, but other than that, I have just stayed away. BUT....

There are so many thinks that I DO love about Linden Nursery.

*I love being with the family
*I love getting new plants in
*I especially love the trees
*Of the trees, my favorites are the Japanese Maples
*I love the cool temperatures, that still let me wear a sweatshirt.
*I love working late, helping the family on days when we really need it.
*I love having a 'migraine' mothers day weekend and memorial day weekend, and skipping school to help the fam.
*And I love working with the guys, and brushing up on my Spanish.

Linden Nursery has provided me with everything to be where I am. I am thankful to be able to be a part of the crew at the Nursery.

I love Spring!

In the mornings, the air is still crisp. You can see your breath as you walk to the car. You still turn the heat on to keep your toes and fingers warm.

But by the afternoon, the sun is shinning! The birds are singing. The forsythia are blooming. The tulips are opening. And you can go running outside without your lungs suffering.

I love the excitement at the nursery on the weekends. I love feeling like I can help the family. I love the smell of burning weeds. I love choosing yet another Japanese Maple to put in dad's yard. And I love that I can still put on a sweatshirt in the evening, becuase it is just a bit nippy out.

Happy Spring to All!

Las hermanas

Rachel, Amber, Me, Noelle, Becca, Heather, Amanda

Meet the girls. This is my support system. They are my best friends! We are all very different, and that makes it even better! I want to tell you what I love most about each one of them.

Rachel - I love her strength and her purity! She is as steady as my dad, and that is STEADY! She always serves, always loves and is really good at math. That part is vital, cause I can't do math worth beans! And she is always happy!

Amber - Amber is the sweetest person that I know. She never speaks poorly of anyone. She is always willing to listen and really wants to know me. She loves her family, and in some ways is the glue that holds them together. Her testimony is solid and she exudes the light of Christ.

Noelle - I love her goodness! She is selfless and always thinks of the other person. She is a born leader and shows a great example of living right to all around her. She writes beautifully and is able to touch many hearts with her words. And she lets me go walking with her, even when I am ornery.

Becca - Becca is simply put, as pure as they come! She is kind and Christlike. She rarely gets mad, and when she does, she deals with it. She loves kids and they flock to her. She is smart and funny and teaches me so many things. Plus, she runs the business on her own! She is almost superhuman!

Heather - Simply knows everything! She can give you advice about whatever you are struggling with, and it makes sense! She is a great mother and lets me 'borrow' her girls when I need a kid fix. She is an amazing artist and she shares her talents with all around her. Plus, she can still run!

Amanda - Amanda is amazing! She loves people! She loves computers, she loves her job, (I think), she always does favors! She gives, gives, gives. I love her smile! She speaks Spanish and lets me tell her that her accent is funny. All in all, she is a great! little sister.

I am surrounded by wonderful women of faith. I love each of you! And I hope to be like each of you in one way or another! Thanks ladies!

xoxo

which color whould you like?

Today, I got to do something that I love doing! I'm a bit weird. Most people don't 'love' to do this. But I look forward to it.

I changed my clothes; closed my classroom door; grabbed my book(I can't leave 'home' without it); and headed into the school.

The familiar pamphlet, the same ridiculous questions, and I was on the stretcher donating blood. I don't know what it is about giving blood, but I find it a great way to feel better about my day! I like thinking that somewhere out there, someone in need is benefiting from my blood. It is sooo easy for my body to give blood. I never get sick. I never get dizzy. I never take lots of time doing it. I always drink enough water. And I just simply find it fun.

And at the end, they always give you an array of colored bandages to choose from. Today I am so happy and light; so I chose lime green. It seemed the most appropriate for my day.

Don't Worry Be Happy

Don't Worry Be Happy
Video sent by ViiC

Big brothers are there to help us feel better. They are there to pull our hair. They are even sometimes there to trip us as we walk up the stairs. And, they are there to give us much needed advice. Today I recieved great advice from my dear brother Ben.

"Don't worry, be happy now. Ooo, oooo, oooo, ooo, ooo, ooooh. Be Happy."

That was all that was said, but it reminded me to smile and be happy. I need that more often.

Thanks big bro!
love ya!

Twilight....

How much twilight can one person take? Any polls....?

I watched it once in the teaters. I was only slightly disappointed. Not bad for such high expectations.

Then I bought it. Watched it twice in my apartment. Was more disappointed, but still hooked.

Then I decided to let my students watch it in Spanish. 2 days of classes, 7 class periods, minus one class that chose pinnochio. That's 6 hours or Twilight. I am now starting to make fun of it. But still hooked!

How? How is that possible? When will enough be enough? I can't decide. Somehow, I keep thinking that maybe the actors will get better. Maybe they won't be so tense.

Maybe tomorrow, I will be tired of it.

We'll see! :)

Only One...

"Only one can take the pieces of my heart and make them whole; only one can part the darkness and breath light into my aching soul"

I love that line in the song that I am listening to. After all I can do, I can take the rest to my Savior, and He will put it all back together.

Today is a new day and for that I am grateful. I felt yesterday as I haven't felt for a long time. I felt that I was hurting all those that I love the very most. There is so much to learn, in so little time...precious time.

I am so thankful for my Savior. I wanted to be alone last night; but not alone. If that makes sense. And I know that He will never leave me alone. I will always have Him. He will make it all okay. I love my Savior so much!

When you wish upon a star....

I would only wish for one thing....

Love

Someone that loved me and only me. Someone who thought I was the most beatiful person in the world. Someone who made me feel like the most special person in the world.

That is really all I want. Not money. Not clothes. Not travels. Not jewels. Just love.

I know...I'm pathetic.

Thanks for listening.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y33iEchHD_I

"sour words"

I have decided this year in my classroom, that I get really tired of hearing the language of my students. It makes it really hard for me to think happy, pleasant thoughts. I would love to be able to bring religion into it, since the biggest reasons that I don't want to hear them have to do with the way that I want to live my life. I can't really talk about religion to my students and so I just tell them that it is to help them sound more educated. Which is true, it's just not the whole story. BUT....

I think I just found a loophole!!!!

There have been some students that found out I have a blog. They are now starting to read it. So, I decided today that I would explain what really lies behind the list of words that I don't like to hear.

First....here is the list if you are wondering.... (I call them sour words)

- Sour Words -
*dude
*suck
*crap
*swear words
*gay (ex. "that's so gay")
*retarded (ex. "you're retarded")
*jerk
*stud
*shut-up
*idiot
*fool
*freak/freakin
*pissed
*dawg
*bro

*obviously these aren't all bad words. I just don't like
being called dude, dawg, etc. And some of these
are words that I use too much! (jerk, shut-up)


So this is a class effort. We are trying to be better at not using these words. But the main reason that I don't want to use these words has to do with 'living the higher law'.

Growing up in the LDS church, we are taught that we are to live our lives following the commandments of God. And these are the same commandments that are found in the Bible. Honor your father and mother; don't steal; don't lie; etc. In 3 Nephi 12, in the Book of Mormon, it gives us those same commandments, but with a little more. Instead of not killing, we are to not get angry with each other. Instead of an eye for an eye, we are taught to turn the other cheek. And He goes through all of the commandments, giving the guidlines He wants us to live by.

The Savior is telling us that it is important that we live a higher law. He fulfilled the law of Moses after His resurrection. At the end of chapter 12, He says that "all old things are done away with, and all things have become new." In verse 48 He says, "I would that ye should be perfect even as I, or your Father who is in heaven is perfect."

I want to live that higher law. I want to be like my Savior in all ways possible. You can't convince me that He used slang words in His speech. He spoke with certainty and love. He taught with kindness and patience. And the "sour words" listed above, do not resemble what the Savior would say. I only hope that I can change myself little by little, and by doing so, teach my students a part of the gospel without even bringing it up in class.

A sad, sad day!

Today I left my house a little later than usual. I just couldn't seem to get ready fast enough. But, I was still going to arrive to school on time. I wasn't really worried. My drive is very peaceful. I rarely listen to music, and if I do, it is usually something churchy. Today, I was thinking about all that I needed to do in class, and trying really hard not to fall asleep. When all of a sudden....

Out of nowhere...

Two cute little ducks flew into the road. They missed the big semi, going the other direction, by inches! They were safe. Or were they? They kept going. And before I knew it, I hit one of them. It was the most awful feeling I have ever felt! All I could do to avoid killing myself was keep driving. I just kept saying over and over, poor duck! Poor, poor duck. I couldn't do a thing. All I can hope for is that this never happens again. Ever!

May he rest in peace! (or she, whichever it may be)

What do you say...?

What do you say, when your heart is full of 'stuff'? How do you put it into words? Especially finding words that anyone else would understand. That is the hard part for me. I don't have the writing gift that Noelle and Dad have. I get all mixed up sometimes between Spanish and English. So for me, writing can be a bit of a challenge.

This week has been a very big challenge for me. I have been "engaged" for a year and a half. My fiance hasn't been with me for 9 months. And earlier this week, he told me that he just wasn't sure 'the trip up here was worth it'. That broke my heart!!! I have to be honest and tell you that I wasn't the nicest person to him either, not after he said that. And I said some hurtful things also. But my mind can't get over the words 'no se si vale la pena...' In my heart, I only feel that I wasn't worth it to him. That somehow, I'm just not enough.

I emailed him and told him that maybe if it wasn't worth it now, it never would be. And until he was here, living, ready for a relationship, I was going to move forward. And today, it feels like instead of moving forward, I am just moving backward. All I can think about is the past relationship; the one with Cory, before Murphy. I keep praying that I can keep my mind from thinking about him, because that one hurt, too. And I can't help but wonder if I will 'ever be worth it' to someone.

As I started my school day, I wasn't in the mood to be with kids. I longed for silence. Time to think. Yet, I realized as they were singing 'la camisa negra' in their monotone voices and with their shaky Spanish, that they were just what I needed. They gave me the ability to laugh today. And to think of somthing else. They were the perfect cure for my sad heart. And I am thankful for that. I am glad that today has happened. I am glad for students who are quick to support and just love me, even though I am fiesty and quick-tempered.

Dedicated to Armando...

I served my mission in Panama, and loved every minute of it...at least that is what I remember. I was transferred off the islands of San Blas after three months, and sent to an area called Burunga. I was excited about the transfer and sad at the same time. I loved the islands and was sad to have to leave. Yet, I felt that this new area would be a great area for me. My companion was North American and was nothing but patient with me and my quirks.

The first day that I got to Burunga, she introduced me to all the important spots that I would need to know. And then we arrived at our house. It was an apartment attached to another apartment where our landlord lived.

That was the day that I met Armando. He was our landlord. He was like a grandfather to me from that day on. He treated my companion and I with great respect. And he took care of us. When we ran out of water, he let us use some of his so that we could shower. He was the one that told us about the attacks in New York on 9/11. He took us to the beach with the elders on our Pday. We even tried to do some matchmaking with him and one of our other investigators in the same area. And one day, we asked him if he wanted to learn about our church.

Armando was golden! He learned so quickly and accepted all that we taught him. I gave him my tapes of the Book of Mormon so that he could listen to them. He was paralized on one side of his body, so it was really hard for him to read for long periods of time. He went to church every Sunday and paid his tithing. The day he was baptised was so special for me. We tried to heat up the water so that his body didn't go into a lot of shock. We made cookies for the occasion. He was just so very special! (Armando is the older, non missionary in the picture)

I found out yesterday that he died. And while I was sad, I was so happy for him! He lived such an amazing life. Serving those around him and doing his best to live a good life. His testimony of the church never faltered and I will always be grateful for his example while I tried my best to teach him the gospel. Now, he is in a better place. He no longer suffers from his paralysis and I can only imagine his happiness.

Thank you Armando, for teaching me so much about life. I will forever be grateful for that.

Lot's wife -

When your life is hard or you have a broken heart, it is really easy to look at the past and see only the wonderful moments that you experienced. Today, my heart is broken. Today, I just want to cry. And those feelings have taken me back to my college days, when things were easier.

Right?

The days when all I had to worry about was studying for my next test. When I got to speak Spanish every day and learn new things. The beautiful days in Logan when there was a nice breeze and everything was happy. The days when I could drive up the canyon and just disappear for a while while I took picture after picture of God's beautiful creations. The days when I woke up before most people and would go running in the freshly fallen snow. The days when I laughed and laughed with amazing roommates. The days when I thought that I could be in love. The days when I had the energy to go to the gym.
Apartment #8.
Gary Allan.
Ice cream.
Fruit snacks.
books.
movies.
the temple.

The list could go on and on. And I get lost in those memories. And it is really easy to remember only the good times. And for just a brief moment, my heart isn't broken anymore. For just a brief moment, all is right in the world.

The reality is, I have two large stacks of papers on my desk to grade. I have students coming into class in twenty minutes. I have a broken heart.

And who really wants to end up like Lot's wife anyway...?

O how I wish....

My whole life I have wanted to be Irish. I don't really know why....I just do.

I have red hair...I think that is part of it.
I love the accent! (how do you find someone Irish to marry?)
I think the countryside is beautiful!
And really, I have romanticized it beyond normal.

So, this month, I am vowing that one day, I don't know when and I don't know how; I am going to find an ancestor somewhere that is Irish.

Has anyone seen David Whoolly?

I miss Dave!

I have never met Dave; only my sister Noelle has had that privilege. Yet, I feel that there is a great friendship between Dave and I. All through blogging. I love blogging! And he is missing.

I went to check his blog, cause I love to read about his books and really enjoy how much knowledge he has. He went private, and didn't tell me or even send an invitation. What does that mean?

Dave, don't you want to know that I am getting married? Don't you want to come and visit in Guatemala? And don't you want to convince me of other very unhealthy food selections? I miss the banter....

But, I guess I will never know what happened to Dave. I wish him all the luck and hope that he is okay, wherever he is.

curly fries, anyone?

Today I am taking a poll.

I'm the red head in the picture. (the far left)

It is a weird poll.

But don't blame me.

Blame it on the blasted high school students!

I curled my hair today....

does it look like arby's curly fries?

anyone?

This is your chance to comment on my blog.

I dare you!