the rumination of a pseudo-rocker.

listening to: from first to last - failure by designer jeans

sleepless nights are never fun. i havent had a sleepness night since.. i cant even remember the last time i had a sleepness night.

in any case, i couldnt sleep last night. and i couldnt figure out what was bothering me. i just lay on my bed sweating. even though the fan was switched on and the covers were apart. then i started hearing stuff like the wings of an insect fluttering. yeah. surreal ah.

so at 230 i woke up. took a shower and took my wudhu. and i prayed. sembahyang hajat. prayed for lotsa stuff ah. apologised to Allah since i havent "checked in" for a quite some time too. so after prayers i went back under the covers. baru hati macam tenteram sikit. and a bit after that, i heard the sound of a whirlwind outside. not tornado class but just the sound of wind blowing. maybe i was imagining things as my brain was tired but yeah. i could have sworn i heard it. told myself maybe it was Allah paying me a visit and "collecting" my doa. haha. why not.

so anyways i still couldnt really fall asleep till abt 3am. so i got up and studied a lil bit till nearli 4. then i fell asleep lah. and when i woke up, it was already 645. hha. i was late for school.

so bebs msged me earlier saying she wudnt be going to school. so i just texted her back and told her me too. so went back to sleep. woke up at about 8 plus i think.

lardeeda lardeeda fast forward to a lil after 12. bought a magnificient timepiece from 25hrs. bebs msged me saying she's at CP with her mom. got kinda scared. had a mini secret rendevous then we went our seperate ways.

so at cold storage we met again. her mum soooooo recognised me. haha. both of us (bebs and me) were so scared. haha. panicked. alarms rang. act cool. hensemberg what.

i have nothing else to say. need to study. cherio~

listening to: some show on central abt Stalin

got this from a random blog i was reading.

Love Does Not Need A Reason

Lady: Why do you like me..? Why do you love me?
Man: I can't tell the reason.. but I really like you..
Lady: You can't even tell me the reason... how can you say you like me? How can you say you love me?
Man: I really don't know the reason, but I can prove that I love you.
Lady: Proof? No! I want you to tell me the reason. My friend's boyfriend can tell her why he loves her but not you!
Man: Ok..ok!!! Erm... because you are beautiful, because your voice is sweet, because you are caring, because you are loving, because you are thoughtful, because of your smile, because of your every movements..

Unfortunately, a few days later, the Lady met with an accident and fell into a coma.
The Guy then placed a letter by her side, and here is the content:

Dearest,

Because of your sweet voice that I love you...
Now can you talk? No! Therefore I cannot love you.

Because of your care and concern that I like you..
Now that you cannot show them, therefore I cannot love you.

Because of your smile,
because of your every movements that I love you..
Now can you smile? Now can you move?
No, therefore I cannot love you...

If love needs a reason, like now, there is no reason
for me to love you anymore.

Does love need a reason? NO!

Therefore, I still love you...
And love doesn't need a reason

" The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen, not touched..but are felt in the heart ."

aww so sweet. cherio~

listening to: lost prophets - last train home

i ransacked my old files from last year in search of things to do as revision. and i found it! chem revision questions printed by ms soh. found them really good. i hope it helps me nxt wednesday. hopefully.

*looks into to the tv* what the hell. can they stop playing this stupid show on tv! damn it i wonder how many times they've played this stupid show. the one where the guy can see ghosts. and the grim reaper comes. stupid lah. such a waste of time.

i hope the recent merger between mediaworks (sounds like werks. *gasp*) and mediacorp will yield really great shows. mediaworks's local stuff and mediacorps uhm.. otherstuff.

hensemberg. werks. haha. 2 words i really hate. cherio~

listening to: 2 minah's in the comp lab

minah 1: "i'm gonna charge my husband 20k for my dowry"
minah 2: "2ok? so much? im only gonna charge 15k like that"

haha fuck u 2 lah. face cant even make it and wanna charge so much. please lah. haha now they're soo happy they get to use msn messenger. gosh im such a he-bitch.

anyways this is the new address yah. the old one is under spying from unwanted sources. oh well. cherio~

malaise

the shopping trip yday was a successful one. managed to get the top i wanted for free. i wud never pay 40bucks for that top if i had to fork out my own money. hehe. never decline free goods. oh the parents were so keen on getting me a pair of levis yday. but this time i declined ah. i still havent worn the gio jeans they got me the last time. so yea. it was fun nevertheless.

anyways, i was at suntec toilet minding my own business in the cubicle. then i saw some stupid ad in the cubicle. it was somethg like (i quote):
washroom media by iPmedia.
(yadayada...i cant remeber details. i was focused on doing smthg else.)
why washrm media?
*audience is in positive frame of mind as they are in a social environment.(waaad?)
*direct line of vision. (i agree)
*information is retained longer.

like waaaad fuck?
anyone interested can contact iP(ee)media.

listening to: a thorn for every heart - mirror from the stage

random thought of the day: "any guy who says he has NEVERwatched porn before in his whole life is probably lying. either on purpose or by accident he's watched it alright."

i really think its true. haha. im not denying or acknowledging anything but yar. either he watched it or he's gay. oh wait. they have gay porn. haha so there.

im still havign flashbacks from yesterday. such a great time i had with bebs. heeh. thanks to everyone else who made my day. hehe. i wont forget it. cherio~

pussyfoot

yesterday was a whole load of fun. but we were a tad too stuffed to even walk after eating. haha. we each had a whopper meal n then coffee n cake. n i finally had my busters weekly cheesecake. there was no way we could avoid getting buncit. i was too buncit to even kick the pigeon thr. in fact i sympathize wif it for that moment. coz i understood how it felt to be bottom heavy. we sat for abt more than an hour at borders coffee bean coz we cudnt move our heavy ass. so yea being buncit n heavy we got cranky and a lil crazy. which explains the topshop pic.

i was so excited to see him open the present. more excited than he was i tink. dun u juz love the box n the brown ribbon? haha. n i got him to believe all the while that i was getting him undies. haha yea. undies. so yea he was expecting some of those. which got me a lil worried coz i didnt get him any of that n he was already so psyched up on getting ones wif ribbons n wad nots. haha. but yea he did like the presents i got him. so we're laughin.

but yea. i regretted not kicking that pigeon though. haha okies we're sadistic. its not that i abuse animals or anythg. i love animals. but reali pigeons are such an annoyance to me. like how people who dun bathe in the morning annoy me in the train. anyways, i've always wanted to kick a pigeon. i wana do it at least once in my life. yea one of my idiotic idiosyncrasies. i haf a few others anyways.

In my lifetime i wana:
* kick a pigeon. juz bcoz they're bottom heavy n reminds me of myself.
* sell icecream n drinks. yea in one of those wagons or push cart. ringing the bell.
* wash hdb flats. using the black hose the banglas use. i've always thot it was fun.
* work in a fastfood restaurant. BK preferably.

shit. im weird.
n it doesnt juz end there. there are a few more. but that's enuf horror for the day.

alrite back to being normal. i wana buy this reali cute top frm zara. was close to getting it frm an un-named sponsor. but i felt bad ah. its wrong. but yea. i mgt be going shopping wif the parents later so i mgt get it. or probably some other parent-approved clothings. but hey at least its free. nothing beats that. so yea. hopefully i'll get some. the parents are weird anyways. the last shopping trip wif them i got topshop undies. n then an mp3 player which i didnt even haf to ask for.

i guess weirdness runs in the genes. sheesh.

listening to: nothing

pigeons. harmless looking birds with poisonous poo poo. no wonder far east plaza's management placed spikes everywhere to impale those suckers. they annoy me with their stupid waddle. "oh look at me. im so fat i waddle around. aint i cute?" sometimes me and iza just feel like kicking them. imagine this. a pigeon waddles around slowly and suddenly it feels a foot smack dab in its stomach and goes careening away. hahah. that'll be the day.

maybe the fact that pigeons are so slow is cos they're bottom heavy. i mean how not to be so fucking fat like that. all they do is eat. and shit. and cos they shit their tummy is empty and they eat. and they eat to shit. so it repeats itself. the slow fat pigeons just make me mad. but a skinny pigeon makes me sad cause he looks so aneroxic. like i think he gets teased alot by his fat slow friends.

"hey skinny shit. look at our humongous bums. they make us look oh-so-cute and make us waddle"

i think thats wat the skinny one has to endure. little do the fat ones know ppl like me are out to get them. *kicks* i dont think me and iza are the only ones who tink that way. we were at coffee bean eating cake(see previous entry) and we saw this ang moh kid chasing a pigeon around. and he gave it a kick. boy we were sure hoping he'd hit the spot but he missed. dang. so off the pigeon flew.

but like ms usha said, "that one example doesnt represent the whole world" maybe so. i guess we need to spend more time observing ppl's reactions around fat bottom heavy pigeons.

in short, we hate slow, fat and bottom heavy pigeons and we feel like kicking them cherio~

ps: no pigeons were harmed in the writing of this entry.

listening to: animal alphabet on vcd

click each picture for the full view. hehe. happy happy happy day. cherio~

listening to: a small victory - random celebration

the 2 cards i got for the birthday. click them for the enlarged version. hehe. thanks a bunch BEBS and YING². cherio~

listening to: the get up kids - mass pike

i'm in euphoria today. thanks to my friends its been a really great birthday. thanks to ajis also. sorry i forgot you dude. couldnt figure out who u were yesterday. and tak sempat nak tanya.

lets see who else wished me. ying ying, zhen yun, jasmine, ain latiff, yanny, liza and nurul. haha sorry nurul i muka tembok and told u outwardly. hehe.

spent the whole day with bebs. gosh bebs. thank u so much for the gift box. inside was filled with so much treasure. haha. a new wallet, the 2 topman tees i wanted and a star buckle. hehe. everyting i wanted.

she blanja-ed me coffee and cake. gosh. she spent so much money on me. hehe. happy happy happy. as soon as i get to upload the photos i'll post it up ok? cherio~

listening to: none

thanks everyone who wished me at the stroke of midnite. hehe. ashri for organising that mini wishing session on msn with naaa, rejab, shahul, deez and uhm tats all. haha. samuel thanks man. and zuraimi my twin. and also david too. and to bebs who drew me this pic on msn. lets post it up eh. cherio~

listening to: from first to last - failure in designer jeans

its a conspiracy i tell you. Nestle renamed caffiene in Milo into Actigen-E. i think its just so that caffiene conscious people will continue to get it.

oh screw it. i cant think of anything funny to say tonight. i'm sorry loyal readers of norizal.blogspot.com. i promise u when i turn 18 tmr, many more funny entries are to come.

i cant wait for tomororow. cherio~

listening to: jaimeson - complete

"i heard you calling to me. i know now that i am complete"

this song is rather catchy. it just sticks to your head. i realised that waking up at 9+ in the morning is a luxury. cos it feels so good to just open your eyes and its bright outside instead of darkness. which is why i wasnt in school today. overslept.

so tomorrow is the big ONE EIGHT. i guess i'll have to be careful of the things i do now. because its no more juvenile home but off to the courts. not a minor anymore. but on the brighter side, come forth ciggies and booze! not that i smoke nor drink, but its kinda nice to brag to the kids that i can buy those stuff without worrying anymore.

not expecting much frm tmr. with dad away on business. and i dont think anybody will bother getting me any presents. except bebs. i cant wait to see what u have for me

its amazing how sometimes keeping your cool in situations only ends up hurting you. and i always felt that keeping quiet is the best way to avoid conflicts. i realised that sometimes u have to be harsh to get your words across.

just finished playing call of duty for the 3rd time. can never get enough of the thrill of assaulting the bloody reischtag with the russian army. and the music just seems to make it even more hair raising goosbump inducing.

i need to upgrade my 3d card. anybody keen on getting me one for my bday? u still have a day. and i dont mind belated gifts. cherio~

listening to: titanic for tv

people have always been asking me why we cant eat pork. well for those who've always wanted to know and for those of us muslims who dont really know. well here's a link. cherio~

listening to: saosin - they perch

no visual pleasures aka pictures will be posted anytime soon from now till maybe 5th october. the camera is with the fatherhood. he left on a 2 week business trip to germany for a week and then anuder week in the states.

and for u aural pleasures, i've linked "from first to last - note to self" to the website. thanks to ashri for the link.

thats all. and dont forget to read the online comics. cherio~

listening to: none again.

funny funny!

shit click the link above. hahahahahaa. its so funny. so describes us bebs. i cant ignore you if ______________... haha. click the link to know what im talking abt. haha. cherio~

listening to: nothing

in the school comp lab now. its nice to use government funds for stuff like this. haha. been surfing around and realised there are tonnes of online comics. handdrawn on computer. like really cool. here are some links:

diesel sweeties
questionable content

enjoy. cherio~

listening to: plain sunset - immature

oh yar. i went shopping at batam yesterday. did i tell u all yet? lets see what i bought. a junior sized tee. yes u read it right. junior sized. so that it fits nicely. i bought a backpack for an undisclosed sum. and also a pair of flared jeans. hahahaha. they're low rise and they have a nice fit u see. and i couldnt find any other jeans that fit nicely. so i just bought them.

just sent them for altering ah. hope the nyonya straight cuts em. this is how the conversation went. hmm lets write this like in HML class in secondary school.

tempat: kedai nyonya
masa: petang sekitar 6 petang
pelakon: rizal sebagai heronya
nyonya yang wajarnya macam tak mandi

rizal: "auntie ah. can alter jeans or not?"
nyonya: "can can. how u want?"
rizal: "u see my jeans first. flare ah. i want to straight cut"
nyonya: "can lah." (proceeds to fold the jeans)
rizal: "ah yes like this. dowan tapered ah"
nyonya: "ok ok not tapered"
rizal: "when collect? tonight ah?" *tak sabar nak pakai jeans baru per)
nyonya: "no lah. tomolo (note the row changed to low) lah"

the other parts of the convo arent important. consists of me flirting with the nyonya in an attempt to lower the price from a whopping $5 to a measly $4. but nah my charm didnt work. must be that layer of eye crust and B.O. that acted as a shield against my charm.

so its time for school in about a few hours time. cant wait for PE because we get to dance. i wonder what dance they're gonna teach us tmr. hmm. whatever it is, i know i'll be smelling nice after my shower cos i got all my toiletries bought yesterday. face wash, hair wax, powder (yes powder. so sue me for using it like a girl)and my shampoo and soap.

so see u guys in school. cherio~

listening to: alexis on fire - 44 caliber love letter

where is my wittyness when i really need it most? maybe all i am really is just an act. u know? to please others. am i really myself when im with people? or do i do/say things only for the sole purpose of being liked? pragmatic? maybe so. but in today's society where connections are everything, u need to be nice to ppl right?

so does that make friendships only for the sole purpose of advancing in life? i donoe. what do u think? it seems to me that way. even at a recent leadership course i attended, the lecturer said something to the tune of "make as many connections as u can. (notice friends are refered to connections) because u'll never know when u need their services or help (again the word services)." is that all friends are for? dumbed down to connections u use for services?

ok so i digress from my 1st paragraph and my 2nd. i'm actually lost know. i forgot what exactly i wanted to write in this entry. oh yeah about my wittyness ffailing me at the most important times. doesnt that make in just an act? my funniness. maybe i donoe.

i think, deep down inside, im a disciplinarian at heart lah. not in the sense im ramrod straight or something. but things like respect for teachers, or shutting up when u need to, closing the door after opening it, picking up litter, stuff like that. because i frown at ppl spitting, littering, talking out loud, disrespecting the teacher. does that make me stuffy? i donoe. maybe. maybe that makes me not have a sense of humour. does it?

what ever the case, i need to find myself. even at this age, i think i still havent figured out who i am and what i wanna do in life. and thats scary. with promos coming around the corner, im gonna need to pass it to move on in life. to move onto the next stage of the rat race. i need to. i want to. not for me, but for the ppl i love around me.

mum, dad, nurin my lil sis. and her. all of you. i love u. cherio~

listening to: from first to last - failure by designer jeans

"like the sands in an hour glass, these are the days of MY life" *grins*

i feel like its a school day. although its a saturday. funny how waking up in the morning makes u feel that way. oh golly i need to take a crap. brb.

ok back. phew. it felt like an artilerry barrage. *shrugs* my blisters seem to be gone. hmm thats not a bad thing. so its 6.52am and i'm getting ready to go to batam. super early isnt it? well the early bird catches the worm. or should i say 2nd wife?

some idiot tagged me and linked it to a freaking porn site. i didnt check it out but i saw the link when i hovered the mouse over it. well i dont tolerate sex links. underaged people read this blog. its not that i hate sex links. i just feel its not approriate here. like you know, teaching a child how to "unleash the dragon". its alright for an adult or teen to do it. but not a child. its physicaly impossible anyway. imagine that. lil timmy. hmm thats a sight i dont wanna remember.

oh i have to go now. check in with u guys later alright. cherio~

listening to: funeral for a friend - track 7 (i dont know the title) haha.

blisters. swollen, squishy and puffy. i dont like it when they're in that stage. u know its there but they havent developed yet. just like the alien spores. they've infected you and you just hafta wait for it to hatch and burst out from ur body.

so i'm very tired. had NCC after school. good thing had lunch with bebs after solat. so after a very nice lunch with her (i enjoyed it bebs) i trudged down to chua chu kang. mind you thats like twice the distance from home to school or vice versa. and to make things worst, i ran for the freaking train only to have it rot there at the station for abt 5 minutes. it waited for the next train to arrive to transfer people over. like hello? 5 fucken minutes? hello? oh yeah the train cant talk. who am i talking to then?

tmr's the trip to batam. oh yeah baby. yeah i know what ur thinking
"he's going over there to visit his 2nd wife. omgosh rizal. how could u?!"
and the answer to that question is "
yeah how could i?!!"
duh! im not visiting my 2nd wife lah. more of the 4th one. actuali i'm going with my mum. help her collect the langsir, and go for a massage. man i need one lah. and if i see anything nice from there maybe i could grab it. and hopefully they sell the hair wax i want. cos its bloody expensive here. like hello? $12 for hair wax?!! hello?!! oh yeah hair wax cant talk.

*checks the brain* hmm anything else to write? i dont think so. not for now i guess. tune in next time for another episode of "i-cant-think-of-a-witty-line-so-i'll-put-this-as-the-show-title" *plays the teevee show music* cherio~

i enjoy cheese.

went to town alone today aft having lunch wif rizal. to get the mother her bday present. thanks to my borders gift card, i didnt haf to pay a single cent for the cookbk. haha. hey its the thot dat counts. okay the cookbk is useless anyways coz my mum cooks like twice a year. and its the 2nd cookbk we've got her. haha. oh well. many many bdays this wkend and next wk.
Happy Birthday:
* 17/9 - adlina [will get: a blue toy guitar. cute ey?]
* 19/9 - didi [will get: hmmm a fone call wif my heartwarmest wish?]
* 20/9 - mum [will get: carole clements baking bk]
* 24/9 - bebs!! [will get: we'll all know soon]

i cant wait to give all these pple their presents. its not much i know. but i love presents n i tink everyone do. i cant wait for bebs to get his. haha. its gona be soo funny. okies dah. happy birthday everyone else having birthdays this mth or next mth or last mth.

i enjoy cheese? dats juz my homicidal battlecry. dun ask.

screwblogger

okies. my blogger account is juz fucked. something has gone wrong somewhr but i cant figure out wad. but manage to create this post. anyways, four paper down. four more to go. i tink dat im the slackest j2 taking the prelims this time. i didnt even touch any of my notes during the hols. somehow i juz cant be bothered this time. everyone arnd was mugging n it didnt even bother me. haha. as usual i only looked thru my notes the day b4 the paper. screw prelims.

im reading prozac nation. its interesting but its quite sad. i mean there are pple out thr having a big problem not knowing wad their problem is but its eating them up. catch my drift? haha. oh cats can haf excessive compulsive disorder too. excessive grooming disorder - the cat has grown depressed due to varying reasons and become self-absorbed causing it to keep chewing clumps of its fur and vomiting all time. kesian eh. i juz started on the bk. but its definitely a gd read.

You don't even need to hate to have a perfectly miserable time. -richard baush.
anyways, i tink that some pple enjoy making enemies. and some take enemies as form of flattery. sheesh. then again i tink too much. but pple got me thinking.

listening to: from autumn to ashes - autumns monologue

poor kel. i wish her psychotic fucked up ex would just grow up. stop bugging her and fucking up her life la. u've done enough damage to her. leave her be. dont be a sorry ass loser. cherio~

listening to: a static lullaby - withered

since i'm going to turn 18 real soon, i realised i'd have to blog like an adult already right? i realised that my entries arent serious enough. they seem so haphazardly written and un-serious. like i dont know. too many hahas i guess.

i hope my form for Ex Wallaby isnt overdue. its supposed to be handed in today but Mrs Ho said tmr would be fine. cos i just got it yesterday. hopefully it wont be a repeat of last year. shucks.

promos are on the 4th of october. gee whiz. again i hope history doesnt repeat itself.

and i need to do something about my specs. they're crooked. and its not my nose okay! my other specs werent crooked. and i need to do something to my hair. i want it spiked. but i cant wait for the sides to grow out. gee. maybe i could use a wig to school. maybe.

how's that? serious enough for u folks? cherio~

listening to: the whirring of my fan

From First to Last - Note to Self

Two roads
Split off from here,
and my life goes running
in opposite directions.
Exaggerating the barrier between
who I am, and who I want to be.

I wanted
to be that breath of
fresh air,
When everything smelled so
unsincere.
But this taste still lingers in my mouth,
Deceit has ways of sticking around.
And I'm ready to disappear,
Vacation seems far
seems far from here.

Note to self: I miss you terribly.
This is what...We call a tragedy.
Come back to me, Come back to me, To me.
Note to self: I miss you terribly.
This is what...We call a tragedy.
Come back to me, Back to me, To me.

I can feel my mind,
wandering again.
Into where I dont know,
and will I ever get home?
Time starts moving,
faster than I can.
And I'm sick of this scene,
I need to break the routine.

I can feel my mind,
wandering again.
Into where I dont know, and will I ever get home?
Time starts moving,
faster than I can.
And I'm sick of this scene,
I need to break the routine.

Two roads
Split off from here,
and my life goes running
in opposite directions.
Exaggerating the barrier between
who I am, and who I want to be.

Which part of me is lost?
I feel so close,
and yet I am so far.
Which part of me is lost?
I feel so close,
and yet I am so
FAR...

to download this song, click HERE. cherio~

listening to: plain sunset - find a way

such an apt song for this entry. cos as usual i have a pic of today's sunset. well not the sunset but the sky lah. another one to add to the already huge collection of nice ones. but this time from another angle. the tempat jemur baju at my hse. haha. was angkat-ing the kain when i saw it. ran to take a few snaps. this one is the nicest ah. enjoy.

listening to: from first to last - note to self

my new favourite band: from first to last

anyways. i hate holiday homework. i think teacher's should call it "rush-the-day-before-school-reopens" homework. haha. lets see what i have left to do. GP essay and GP comprehension. shucks. cherio~

listening to: anaconda 2 on vcd

couple of pics taken on my trip to sabah a few mths back. gosh i wanna go there again and take more pics.

and the rest are taken from my hse or on the way to school and stuff.

ooh thats alot of pics. haha. i got nothing else to say lah. haha. cherio~

listening to: more dong dong cheng!!! fucken hell. shut up.

sunset from my window. "altogether now. 1 2 3 aaaaaahhhh"

listening to: the same thing in the previous post. this time got singing.

ah there. some pics i took. for more, dun be lazy lah. (this is meant for u nana) click here for the rest. cherio~