Holy Cow!

Tah-DAH!

Sorry.

Today we went to Dog Heaven in Ladner. With 10 border collies. That's right, you heard me. TEN. And for the first time ever, I didn't have the majority percentage! Today my foster home Hilary had us all beat with Cracker, Bo, Penny, Chance and Gracie.

Bo was adopted from TDBCR. He came with his own stick.

And he will get all up in yo bizness until you throw it for him.

Even if Penny harasses him about his obsession.

Penny was also adopted from TDBCR. She is lovely.

Tweed was miffed that she usurped his status as The Red Dog Present, and snubbed her.

But Piper slapped some sense into him.

"Manners, big oaf!"
"Hey, step off, beeyotch!"

Hilary also brought TDBCR foster Gracie, who I managed somehow to not take a single photograph of. Gracie is staying with Hilary for a week until she goes off to her forever home - she managed to get adopted before she was even available!

She also is fostering my favourite TDBCR rescue boy, Chance, the fella from Grand Forks I picked up last month.

Isn't he handsome by halves though? Such soulful eyes.

Such a sexy physique

And talented? Whew! He even did some Vaudville for us!

yah-dadadada-dah...

Jenn, Miss ME-ME-ME, was not impressed with all the attention Mr. Mad Skillz was getting.

Get out of my limelight, jerk!

Chance is now ready for a forever home of his very own. Tell your friends! He's an absolute delight.

Am I doing a good job of selling this handsome devil??

***I interrupt these photo captions to ask you all a Very Important Question***

Why does Jenn torment Piper? I have owned border collies for many years, and it is my experience that frequently one will obsess over another. Briggs used to obsess over my older-than-him border collie Abi. Whatever she did do, he done did as well. Mr. Woo spends half his time pouncing on Piper. Sport went everywhere Tweed went.

But this is different. Jenn does not live with Piper, and she doesn't want to do what Piper does - she wants to TORMENT her. She seems, actually, hell bent on driving Piper into a frothing, raging psychosis.

TEN dogs with us today, folks. TEN. And Jenn engaged in exactly one activity the entire time. I have no photos of it, but it goes like this:

*Ahem. Jenn Impression*

Look Piper, I have a stick. A stick. You want the stick don't you? You want it. You totally want it. Come and get it. Get the stick. Here, I'm putting it on the ground and walking away from it. Just walking awa-HAH YOU IDIOT! YOU FELL FOR IT! YOU CAN'T HAVE THE STICK!! The stick is mine! But you want it, don't you? What are you so mad about? What if I poke you with it? Like this. Hey? Hey? Do you like that? What if I dance with it? Does that bug you? Do you want it? Want the stick? I know you want it. Come get the stick. What are you, some kind of pussy? Oh you're mad now, are you? HAHAHA that's funny! Come here and say that to my face! Come here and say it to my face, and get the stick. This stick. This stick right here. Come on, I dare you.

*RAGE*

At one point, while Piper was standing still trying veryveryvery hard to ignore Jenn, Jenn snuck up behind her and BIT HER IN THE ASS. Srsly!!

I've seen nowt like it. Have you?


What? I'm not doing anything. *blink*

Piper was ready to throw herself under a train.

Mr. Woo, on the other hand, was just plain excited to see Auntie Robyn.

BONZAI!

Until he saw the eagles.

I think he ate one.

It's thirsty work, eating all the eagles.

Does the thought of 10 border collies make you tired? How about 7?

It exhausts me!

I'm thinking hamburgers for dinner. How about you?

Tune in next week, when Donutz will show us all how to make Pan Fried Hamster Snackz!

Say a little prayer for MC Hamster ;-)

Feast or Famine

Kind of like this blog - some weeks, no posts. Other weeks, several posts.

Today's entry is about dinner; I haz it, the dogs want it.

In the sink sits a bag of thawing chicken.

FEAST

On the floor sit STARVING dogs. Starving TO DEATH if you please.

FAMINE
"I'm so fed up with her. There's chicken in the sink, perfectly good chicken, and she's sitting on the floor with the camera stuck to her face. I just. don't. understand. her."


FEAST


SO. MUCH. FAMINE.
"I'm too weak ... to lift my head ... I rest it in your leg ... you loser-human-in-pajamas-at-7:00pm-on-a-Friday-night.* Your cruelty
is why you are single. You suck. I'm so hungry."


FEAST. Chicken, chicken everywhere ...


KITTEN
"No eatin' the kitten. Move along. Nothing to see here."


Oops, shit. I mean, FAMINE:
"Dear doG, who art in heaven, please make the Food Lady give me chicken."

---------------

Oh and it gets better.

Are you ready for it?

Mr. Woo died of hunger. He moaned, keeled over, and died, right there on the floor.
Of course he died staring at me, so I'd feel guilty. I totally don't.

BYE BYE WOOTIE! MORE CHICKEN FOR TWEED!!

"Over my dead body. I'll fight him for it. Bring it on, @$$hole."
(more Meat Mad Teeth (tm))

For the record, since I don't want a "dog rescue" breaking into my house and liberating my dogs, they aren't really starving! They go into famine mode about 1/2 hour - 45 minutes before their regularly scheduled feeding time. It takes Woo that long to create an effective build up to his nightly "demise."

Besides, anyone who has seen Wootie in person knows he could live off his own fat for, like, three weeks at least.


"OMG. You starve me AND you mock me. I hate you."

*in my own defense, I am wearing pajamas because I changed out of my wet dog beach jeans into the closest pants nearby, which *happened* to be my jammies! And I'm home on a Friday night because I have to work early Saturday morning. I'm not a loser! Don't listen to Tweed, he's a dick!

Is there nothing Woo won't eat?

... and other random photos from the last week.

Tweed and Woo scrapping over the Wootie Toy.

*KAPOW!*

Oh here's a good one - a sighting of the very rare West Coast Tree Monster

Like Big Foot, this is not often photographed:

Also, Jenn's second job is as a cleaning brush for the many Sigg (tm) water bottles of Kitsilano yuppies:

Here's something you don't see too often. Piper and Jenn sitting close together/ in the vicinity of one another. These two ladies Do Not Get Along. They are much too alike.

Okay, here's what Woo ate today. Don't hate me, or him.
Bunny? Chipmunk? I dunno. I tried to save it; tackled Woo and pried this out of his mouth, but it was too late and it gasped its last in my hands. Woo is VERY BAD and also, very hungry.

This doesn't look like the face of a stone cold killer, does it?
He's so not getting any dinner tonight. Unless dewormer counts as dinner.

When Donut heard the news, she was really upset. She really wanted to eat that thing.
Here's something we haven't seen in a while: MAD TEETH (tm)

And I include this photo because it makes Tweed appear handsome. The 20D loves Tweed.

At least someone does.

Mmmm, Meat

(In advance, I apologize for the rather poor quality of the photos. Me and my Sigma 17-70mm are having relationship 'issues')

Yup. Meat.

(meanest.game.ever.begins .... now)

No Touching Allowed.

"Meat? What Meat?"

"Oh ... this? This meat? Didn't really notice."

"In fact, if you hadn't pointed it out I wouldn't even have-"

*picks up meat. Runs away*

BADDOG!!

----------------------------------

"Meat? What meat?"

"I didn't notice any meat but YOU BETTER NOT F*CKING COME NEAR IT ANYWAY!"

(Meat Mad Teeth (tm))

*Food Lady lets Piper have the meat, as is afraid for her life if she doesn't*

-----------------------

"Oh my god ... MEAT! MEATMEATMEAT! Meeeeaaaaat. omg."

(the sounds a camera can't capture ... "mmmmnnnnnnnoooohhhmmmmmm-uhuhuh..mmmmnnnnn")

"*sigh* I wish I could just - hey! Is that a GIANT MONSTER behind you?"

*NOM.NOM.NOM*

"Dude, thanks, that was dee-lish!"

-------------------------------

BAD-COUNTER-MEAT-KITTY!!!

Dinner time is rarely boring at The Food Lady's.

This weeks' Blog Recommendation: Visit two of our favourite k9 peeps, Kate and Bella, at Just Another Dog Blog.