thoughtshowerings

Its the period where life sort of takes a backseat. Life decided to simply walk out on me, leaving no instructions on what I am supposed to do without it, no small yellow post-it notes that bear contrasting black pen marks saying "look here" or anything like that. Its like life stopped me from visiting it, it hung a plain white sign embellished with words "Do Not Disturb" outside the mahogany wooden door knob. Life left me. =( ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ On the side note, I am quite amazed how easily human mind (or at least mine) gave in to cognitive and physical needs. Only yesterday, I was feeling absolutely drained and sucked dry of all essence. I tried my very best ( I think) to remain awake after dinner, but my whole body felt so weak, so limp that I simply could not even my eyes fully. My mind was engulfed with the thought that I must get sleep at all costs. It did not even consider the repe...

Alas! Just when one thinks that the grueling, essence sucking, brain devouring MYCTs are over and we, as free beings are allowed to roam the free earth, BOOM. The endless (may I add to highlight the severity) onslaught of twisted and foul remedials sink in. Everyday is a constant losing battle between revision packages and me. But remedials aside, lately, I think I have began to develop a nasty habit of forming "what ifs" situations in my head. "What if I were 1oo more times better looking?" "What if I were smarter?" "What if I exuded more charm?" And really silly and fictional thoughts. Which just makes me feel worse about myself. I think its kinda dangerous to develop such mentality, because it just makes me feel less and less confident about myself. Alright. I must stop all these negativity. I must channel all these negativity into action, action against the onslaught of twisted remedials! On the other hand, my muscles are growing! To put it i...

Results are back! I think this mid year I fared better than I expected although the probability of getting a U for Maths is like approximately one. But most of all, I felt extremely proud, of my Chemistry. I got a B! Its like some kind of dream come true. But I know that the paper was set easier on purpose. Somehow, deep within me, i knew that AJ's Chemistry standard should be way harder than that paper. Kinda felt half heartedly that I should have gotten an A. or at least a better quality B. Nonetheless, that B felt like a mini lion roaring in my heart. It totally made my entire week extremely enjoyable. GP was also a surprising grade of B overall, with a THIRTY TWO for essay. I nearly jumped up from my seat. So far all my essays have been hovering around the cursed 23 range. To get THIRTY TWO is like suddenly inheriting 1o million dollars from an unknown relative or like growing taller by 10cm overnight! Maybe it was because I had read a similar essay before the mids. Whatev...