Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Eat in Japan - Yes We Can!

Japan, land of the rising sun, of Mount Fuji, temples, cherry blossoms and geishas. That is the Japan of popular culture and the tourism industry of course. But for uninitiated rookies like Daniel and I, we were happy to go forth and experience what Japan had to offer us.

Japan did not disappoint.
Sure, there were more temples than we could ever see (or want to see) in a lifetime....

Buddhas galore....but the best part of Japan for diehards like us was really...


the food!

Come to Japan ready to taste, otherwise, it would be a complete waste of your time and money. Tasting Japan is opening your senses to a whole new dimension of euphoria....and yes, even from a slimy LIVE oyster curling resentfully about on your plate. Rice wine, or sake in Japanese, is the other ecstasy you would not want to miss. It's smoother than vodka with none of its smelly turpentine fumes, it melts down your throat like an easy song and it never gets to your head till you're ready to leave the table.

Eating and drinking were the things we enjoyed most in Japan, and after that, the only other thing is onsen!
Daniel said I should post my overall insights on our trip, so that people can get an idea of what Japan could be like for total aliens (yes, us) to this unique culture. I've already put up several posts on eating in Tokyo, and I will post several more, especially on some superb finds we made on our eating spree.

But first, for those of you who do not speak any Japanese, or read any Chinese (their kanji writing is the same as our Chinese writing) here are some offhand information to help you enjoy that authentic local eating experience:

1) Be ready to ask for an English menu, and if they don't have one (which is most of the time), be ready to ask for the waiter's recommendation even if you can't understand what he is saying. We highly recommend this option for those of you who are more adventurous because the only thing better than great food is eating great food you didn't expect.


2) Many restaurants offer photos of their menu along with the prices, like this one. You won't understand a word, and most likely won't find the pictures too appetising either, but trust me, it's worth being surprised. Daniel found that sashimi really tasted better than its international reputation. Trust me, until you have tried horse sashimi, raw fish is like oatmeal. (yes, the horse that neighs)

3) Best part of eating in Japan is the prices you see are the prices you get. No sneaky GST or service charge applies at the end of your meal so you can really go ahead and enjoy that tempura ramen. The other good news is you DO NOT HAVE TO TIP. Japanese serve you with ten times the professionalism as American waiters and do not expect anything in return (besides the price on your menu).

4) Go for small tavern-like establishments for a cosy, local feel. The prices may not be much lower than any other restaurant, but you get great ambience, usually because these places seat about 10 people max and the chefs cook and cut behind the bar. Only catch: everybody smokes in these places so prepare to wear cigarette smoke and the smell of your dinner home afterward.


5) Order beer (Sapporo, Kirin and Asahi are the biggest names), we recommend Asahi and do go for the sake, which comes in hot or cold. Hot sake is usually heated up at the bar and comes cheaper (I got one for 300 yen). Cold sake is really good and comes either in a bottle (like a small beer can) or they pour it by the cup from a bigger bottle. Usually they pour it till it overflows into the saucer, and you pour the excess back into the glass.

If you have patience, walk around until you find something that appeals to you. There is no dearth of restaurants, cafes and sushi bars in Tokyo. We didn't find pubs though, not the kind you would expect in a Westernised city or a resort beach like Bali. You would find instead nightclubs (varying degrees of sleaze and kinkiness) or karaoke lounges. But the search for food is well worth the effort if you want to avoid touristy joints and sub-par cuisine.

Look out for our Onsen For Idiots post coming soon.

In case you are really looking for food in Tokyo, do ask me for directions if you would really like to try what we had. Most establishments we patronised had names we couldn't read and so I really can't give an address. Addresses are in Japanese anyway, and Google maps doesn't do English translations.

So break out your kimono and get ready to bite a shrimp head off!


Next: Getting Around Japan - Yes We Can!

Eating In Tokyo Part IV: Asakusa Korean BBQ

If you find yourself in the neighbourhood of Asakusa, you wouldn't miss a stop at the Sensoji Temple. Metro station: Asakusa, take the Ginza Line or Asakusa Line, though the Ginza exit takes you closer to Sensoji.

Nakamise Shopping Street is an entire street of shops where you can get all manners of sweets, cakes, cookies, souvenirs, knick-knacks and whatnot. A little up ahead, if you turn right and walk on to the main road then cross it, you will discover a marvellous little Korean BBQ tavern.

The place is tiny, you can barely stand up and walk about but it's cool...

first order yourself a drink of course, I would go for the sake, mine came in a convenient retail sized bottle.

The crowd is made of mostly (and usually, as we have come to discover) male office worker types

It has a real rock-hippie kind of feel to it. They played really classic rock songs. Toilet is just to the right of this photo but was surprisingly clean.


and it's a LOT of smoke!
Here we have beef and pork, they have different kinds of beef, the cheaper one is the lean beef here:
The one with a bit of fat is of course yummier. But get a recommendation from the waiter. He has just enough English to help you out, and he's way friendly.

Must try: the cow heart is something we've never had and boy was it good! It looks like pieces of liver or tongue raw...

but give it a little fire and voila! It's tender with just a little chewiness.

Directions: the closest landmark is the Tobu Railways Asakusa Station North. When you get out of the station, cross the road (the Mos Burger is right opposite) and walk left. You can't miss the only row of small eateries, it's the second one from the corner.
Bon appetite!

You Have To Love Pandas

Friday, December 25, 2009

Eating in Tokyo Part II: Snacking

There is never enough to eat while you're in Japan. Here is a brief guide to good snacking stops in and outside of Tokyo.

In Kamakura, as in many other cities, you can always find freshly-made Japanese snacks like these rice cookies.
This one is dipped in shoyu (Japanese soya sauce) after it's fried.

Daniel: it smells much better than it tastes. (Japanese rice products aren't the tastiest stuff, so it depends on the way they prepare it. Some are really good, they come in sweet or savoury usually)

Everywhere you can find a Cold Stone Creamery, Japan's answer to custom-made ice cream on a cold stone (as opposed to hot stone). It's a really good idea, they mix in stuff like fruit or nuts or whatever in the ice-cream, on a ...yes, cold stone.

Here is our waffle and ice-cream, at Roppongi Hills.

You will also find this very popular snack (it has a similar concept to Krispy Kreme - another hot favourite, I don't understand why - except maybe not as completely exploding in caloeries as Krispy Kremes)

Beard Papas come in many flavours, but since we can't read Japanese, just pick one you think looks like what you would like and point.

Daniel: good dessert

In Shibuya, you can also get tons of food, here is an actual doner store. Attention: Turkish doner (kebab) in Japan is at least three times more expensive than in Germany.

Finally, if you are still feeling peckish, step into any convenience store (tons around) and pick up an ice-cream, Japanese style. They don't come bigger or better than this.



Thursday, December 24, 2009

Eating in Tokyo Part I: Akihibara

Akihibara, or the Electric Town as it is called, is every ignorant person's mental image of what high-tech Japan would look like. This is what greets you as you exit Akihibara station.

A good lunch option is something like this: you pre-pay and get your ticket at the vending machine,

and then bring it to the counter, where the waitress takes it with enthusiasm and gets your food ready;

this cost 500 yen

somehow more popular with the lunchtime male officer worker crowd.
But still a good, cheap lunch option in Tokyo. There won't be much time (or space) to dilly-dally over your meal though.



Tuesday, December 15, 2009

What I'm Reading

Excerpt of review by Alice Rawsthorn, July 8 2007, NYT


Why are brown eggs more expensive than white ones? Because the hens that lay them are bigger and tend to eat more. Why is it so hard to find taxis in the rain? Because many drivers stop work after hitting their daily fare targets, which they do faster in wet weather when more people use cabs. The grist of Frank's argument is that most business decisions are determined by the cost-benefit principle, whereby you only do something if the benefit gained is greater than the cost incurred. And the application of this principle exerts considerable influence on design.
A simple example is the over-complicated VCR. Why do manufacturers load them up with so many functions - most of which we seldom, if ever, use - that recording a television program is infuriatingly difficult? The answer is because it costs so little to add each function to a VCR that is cheaper to install them on every machine - just in case anyone wants them - than to "edit" models for different customers. Frank could have made an identical case against the over-complicated cellphone.
Other anomalies are historic. Take the positioning of buttons on clothes. Why are they on the right for men, and the left for women, especially since, for the 90 percent of the population who are right-handed, it's much easier to do up buttons from the right? It's because when buttons were introduced in the 17th century, they were affordable only by the wealthy. As rich men then dressed themselves, they did so from the right; whereas wealthy women were dressed by servants, who preferred to button them up from the left. The custom continues today, even though fewer women are dressed by servants, because there has been no incentive for the fashion industry to change it.

Or think of the seemingly illogical difference in size between the packaging of (identically sized) CDs and DVDs. This dates back to the 1980s, when retailers were replacing 12-inch, or 302-millimeter, vinyl LPs with CDs, and realized that there would be enough space in each old LP rack for two rows of CDs, if the cases were just under 5 inches high. Yet when DVDs came out in the 1990s, they were displayed alongside videocassettes, whose cases were more than 7 inches high, so DVD packaging was made to the same height.

The explanations for other everyday enigmas are vested in the present. Why, for instance, is milk stored in rectangular cartons, and soft drinks in round cans? It's because it's easier to hold a round can when downing a cola, whereas comfort isn't as important to us when we're pouring milk from a carton, as we don't hold them for as long. That's why manufacturers use rectangular milk cartons, which can be packed more efficiently as they occupy less space in pallets, trucks and shop shelves. There's also a financial incentive. Milk is stored in refrigerated cabinets, so the space it occupies is more expensive to operate than the open shelves occupied by soft drinks.
And why do some cars have fuel fillers on the left and others on the right? Because gas station pumps work from both sides, and if every car had a filler on the same side, motorists would have to queue for twice as long.

Monday, December 14, 2009

The Language Nazi: Singaporean English Faux Pas #1


I have decided to do a weekly post citing horrendous Singapore English proudly displayed in The Straits Times and other local English language publications. It shouldn't be difficult because almost every day I read a cringe-worthy piece that makes me want to tear the paper to shreds with my teeth.


The objective? To prove that the Ministry of Education has to do something about the quality of their English teachers, who are the role models for the very children who will grow up to become the future journalists and editors of The Straits Times and other local English language publications and productions. Don't get me started on the abysmal quality of our television presenters and TV hosts, most prominently the man formerly known as Phua Chu Kang.

Picture from www.straitstimes.com

Today's Faux Pas: ST, Home page B8, Monday 14 December 2009


"Keeping Fit Is Not A Military Exercise" by Jermyn Chow (typical Y-generation name, almost certainly grew up under the Teach-No-Grammar English language curriculum)


Under the sub-header, Chow writes: "Leading an active life should be cultivated from young, not at BMT"


An extremely commonly-used expression, "from young" can be heard - cringe!- on local tv shows and occasionally by the television reporter. Nobody seems to use the correct phrase "from a young age", likely because it's easier to say two words than four.


CRINGE FACTOR: 9/10

Food Critique: Everything With Fries

Ham & cheese sandwich; (Above) Daniel's cheeseburger

We patronised Everything With Fries (458 Joo Chiat Road) on Saturday around lunch time. I wasn't expecting much because (1) I don't like ANYthing with fries and (2) I don't like to wait for my food unless I am certain I am going to be very pleased with it.
First time I tried to eat there (dinner time on a weekend) the queue snaked all the way out to the sidewalk, and after getting a look at the limited menu, I decided I was not going to wait half an hour for burgers and fries.
This time, Daniel and I were shown to a table right away. We inched between the diners on the left and the counter/cake display on the right into a smaller annex that resembled a half-finished IKEA showroom. The walls of the entire restaurant are whitewashed, the floor is cement and the furnishings are....you guessed it -- standard variety IKEA. The dozen or so staff running around were young and presumably "hip" enough to adorn the place which seemed to target the young and yuppified crowd, although the sheer drabness of the "no frills" concept left me in great discomfort, especially when it took more than 20 minutes for our food to arrive, leaving me with nothing to look at but the curious concoctions my neighbours were having, the used volumes of children's books and assorted general fiction on the IKEA bookcase, and of course Daniel at work.

The place was supposedly owned by a (bunch of?) lawyer(s) but I can't verify this as my only lawyer friend (ex- she went in-house) made off with my ex-fiance after we had broken up and decided not to speak with me ever again, likely because she suffered from a deficiency in shame and personal integrity. (NB: NUS matriculation year 1998 for those who are curious)
Our waitress was young, articulate, and seemed to have more interest in serving the customers than the other wait staff combined. I figured she was one of the bosses. We didn't order the "egg soup" because we didn't trust food made of two nouns that didn't belong together.
Daniel's burger got a thumbs up, the meat patty was tender and not over charred. My sandwich was drenched in mozzarella cheese. It was okay but I would have liked more stuffing between my bread (am not a bread person). They had a few variety of fries, I got the curry fries which looked and tasted reminiscent of the spicy fries at Botak Jones while Daniel got the sour cream and onion ones which were quite good. Then again you can't go much wrong with sour cream/onion powder. You can choose skinny or wedgy fries.
Water was diligently offered and refilled. Overall we couldn't complain about the food, although I had to remind our waitress that we hadn't yet gotten our food when I saw people who came later than us getting served first.
Bottomline: price-wise you get value for money although it's not so cheap you would recommend it to everyone. For the waiting time, I would go to Botak Jones because his kopitiam outlets are way more interesting than the ambience here which reminds me distinctly of a semi furnished 3-room HDB flat.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

America's Got Talent? Why we're addicted to "Reality"

Some theories about America's (and a large part of the American-pop culture-watching globe) obsession with Reality TV hold that the people in general have a voyeuristic curiosity about their fellow people. This might partly explain why shows like American Idol or Big Brother attract a following that doesn't seem to abate.

I don't know all the theories postulated about this quirky but revenue generating phenomenon, but as an avid couch potato, I have some thoughts of my own.

I've been watching TV since childhood, my earliest brush with the "reality" genre must have been World Wrestling Federation (WWF), though my belief in WWF's inherent reality was rudely shattered when I was told by my father that it was all theatre. Then I was mesmerised by the Amazing Race, I fell in love if you will, with the first season of competing "pairs" because each played to our most fundamental caricatured stereotypes: the roly-poly best friends who were the de facto comic relief (my faves); the bickering engaged couple who had no direction sense to save their lives; the cliched underdog mother-daughter team whom everyone openly rooted for but secretly thought were damn weak. This type of competitive shows (with the million dollar "reward" of course) played my social self like a violin -- we all "know" these strangers on TV, because we've "seen" them all our lives, in our newspapers, stories, our friends and family. That's why we feel impelled to watch and root for people we've never met and never will meet - because they represent who we know, what we think we know, and yes, who we ARE.

What do I mean? Well, forget biodegradable trash disguised as television like The Simple Life (Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie cavorting with cows and shocking American Midwesterners with their seeming allergy to menial labour) or that show with the plain vanilla couple that has 10 or so kids. The only reason why people would waste their limited brain cells watching Paris Hilton select her "best friend" over 12 episodes is because their fascination with Celebrity stems from their innate hatred of their banality.

Whoa, you say, hold on there, am I saying you watch E! News because you hate your boring little life? Absolutely.

Celebrities have been catapulted this century to the forefront of global awareness by the ubiquity of mass media and the defencelessness of us globally-connected citizens to control what's on TV. At most, we can change channels but what you don't see is the insidiousness of a program like The Simple Life or American Idol which taps into your most fundamental psyche: your hopes, your fears and your dreams.

"Reality" television shows like American Idol tap into the ordinary person's secret desire to be - you guessed it - great. Great as in: successful, famous and most of all, to find their Place In the Sun (or Hollywood, whichever you prefer).

When I watch Project Runway (the only reality show I bother with) the moment that gives me greatest satisfaction is in seeing the emotions of the winner as her name is announced. It's different from Survivor or shows where people fight tooth, nail and shamelessness to get to the million dollars. No, Project Runway (as in many other shows with a similar concept)plays on the viewer's sense of MERITOCRACY - that talent and perseverance will win you the day. The winners say the same things each season: "I worked at it, I believed in myself and my vision, I didn't quit". These are words of vindication, and the subtext? "People with talent and the passion to pursue their aspirations can achieve what you and I only dream of in our drab little everyday lives."

And why not?
I'm not begrudging them their trophy or triumph. In fact, getting this not so subtle message even gives me a little twinge of feel-good Hopefulness that perhaps even myself, ordinary old Viv, might someday find her place in the sun. And I reckon I feel this way because every day I carry within me the gaping hole that is my inner emptiness.

An emptiness that gapes stupidly back at me whenever I ask it: where do I belong?
Don't get me wrong, I'm not suffering from loneliness or a lack of natal/cultural rootedness. It is an emptiness that can only be filled by passion. Passion like the stuff you see on Project Runway, where designers sweat and sew their talent into their garments every week, working towards the Grand Objective of becoming the next Miuccia Prada or Alexander McQueen; the passion that drives aspiring chefs to bite down on whatever snarky abuse Gordon Ramsey is going to spew at them on his show. Even the short-term passion you see on American Idol (those winners who slipped back into the mediocre, psychologically-disordered little rocks they crawled out from under before winning American Idol)or Singapore Idol or America's Next Top Model is better than no passion at all.

Purpose.
I asked Daniel what his overarching purpose in life was. It was certainly achievable, given hard work and some smarts which he definitely possesses. It could be mine as well, except if it were, I would not be sitting here at 7pm on the sofa writing an infernally long blogpost about my deep-seated purposelessness after watching a reality show. I would be like many others out there either riding the surf at Wavehouse Sentosa (passion arising from short-term gratification), or working on passing the CFA and landing a job in finance (short term passion arising from financial insecurity) or trying to kickstart a career as lead singer of a band (long term passion arising from wishful thinking).

I look at my friends (not literally) and see them getting married, having a kid or two, being wherever they are in the world because either their spouses or their jobs took them there. I wonder to myself: is there anything more inspiring than roosting and monetary accruance? I have only one friend I know who is putting herself on the line and risking not just her parents' financial investment to realise her aspiration of being self-employed and financially independent. One out of many, many people. Those I knew who poured money into learning the things they loved (art, fashion, music) eventually went on to work for other people because they had bills to pay. But at least they did something out of PASSION, and not because IT'S THE RIGHT TIME TO GET MARRIED, HAVE 2.1 CHILDREN & BUY A PRIVATE CONDOMINIUM AND KEEP WORKING IN MY PASSIONLESS JOB IN ORDER TO SUSTAIN THE ABOVE THREE PRISONS I LANDED MYSELF IN.

Every day I think about this life full of people who live it to its fullest socially-approved mediocrity and I shudder with dread with just as much icy fear that this is all I am hoping for.

Wednesday, December 09, 2009

The Eternal Jockeying between Beauty and Brains

I suppose women like men to find their intellect attractive because unlike beauty, it doesn't fade (or in some cases vanish or implode with childbirth) with certainty and there's some kind of consistency and hence controllability to it.

Let's examine this premise.

Looks fade, or are "superficial", hence beauty is not something a woman can bank on unless she has unlimited access to Botox and lipo. Intelligence is assumed to be a given, as if it is an objective and unwavering fact. You either have more of it or less of it. Intelligence can be measured, arguably by standardized tests, or indicated by social status, occupational prestige and education. Therefore, as the argument goes, beauty is subjective, fluctuates and is unmeasurable while intelligence is fixed, measurable and enduring. Society places a higher value on intellect because it is measurable and ostensibly leads to wealth creation.

Actually, intelligence is as superficial and nebulous as beauty. You can only quantify it when you put the brain up to a particular test and then you really can't say much about it outside of that context in which it was measured.

People who occupy high social positions cannot possibly say they got there because they were smart. Connections and nepotism usually have a lot more to do with it. You do need to possess a level of intellectual ability to graduate from medical school, law school or engineering, but being a very successful plastic surgeon does not say very much about your powers of persuasion, your ability to read a map and master the intricacies of dog training.

Still, I like it when a guy goes for me because of my brains.

I think the second reason is because I assume that smart women are scarcer than pretty women. Thereby, what is rare has a lower probability of being upstaged by another equally or even rarer specimen. Bottom line: if he goes for your tits and ass, what's to keep him from being attracted to a nicer pair of tits and ass?

Personality, the so-called "brains" behind the Barbie act.
When I complain that Daniel only compliments my tits and ass, he assures me that I am also "fun to be with". I won't put any money on him giving up water sports because of my exceptionally fun personality. He goes on to insist with great sincerity that I am "someone he feels comfortable talking to about anything". I envisioned a therapist's sofa with cushions. "And.... you are rather smart". That makes me smile a little inside.
So it seems that I value being perceived as smart in order to stand out from the rest of the crowd, which is ironically flawed because smartness does not get me fidelity nor sexual attention from my man.
Then again, you can't squeeze brains into a lycra tank and pimp them out on a Saturday night.

Saturday, December 05, 2009

The Mandarin Muddle

Today I am going to climb out of the box that is my Unbearable Lightness of Unthinkingness and write an essay that is long overdue. This concerns the latest anxiety attack gripping our postindustrial yet pre-postmodern nation.


The malady?


Mandarin.


I kid you not. For the past couple of weeks, since Dear Father LKY admitted that he had "made a mistake" with Singapore's bilingual education policy, our pseudo news broadcasters have been gleaning views from the Chinese language educators and the Straits(jacketed) Times has been publishing views from two opposite and equally neurotic camps on the fate of Mandarin (or Chinese as a second language for the 85% ethnic Chinese majority) in Singapore's less-than-flawless education policy.


For those of you who have not been au fait with the "debate" (we all know "debate" really means state-sanctioned airing of views in order for the New Policy to be instated shortly after), let me catch you up on the latest social hoo-ha.


In my usual pedantic style (worsened of late by my socialisation into the civil service), I will structure my essay in the following parts:


1) The issue - Mandarin and how it became such a stinker

2) The real problem - my perspective

3) The way forward - not a solution, but my take on how this will play out


1) The issue: Mandarin and how it became such a stinker

In 1978, Goh Keng Swee, then Education Minister, unveiled the new Bilingual language policy to be instilled in all students starting in Primary School. For the next 30 years, Singaporean students are schooled in the primary mode of instruction - English - and learn a Second Language (later renamed "Mother Tongue" which for most Singaporeans is in no way a Mother Tongue at all) based on their ethnicity, which in our system means either Chinese, Malay or Tamil. If you are of mixed parentage, you get a choice of the three.


For the first ten or twenty years, the policy rolled along and thousands of young Singaporeans came out of the system ostensibly "bilingual" - proficient in two languages. You got almost equal number of classroom hours for both English and Chinese. But of course, all subjects were taught exclusively in English, so Singaporeans' linguistic palate was fast transforming into a largely Anglicised one. Add to that fact, English has been the working language for business and government and has had the somewhat dubious honour of being the "superior" language due to its connection with our colonial subjugation by the British Imperialists until recently.


I might be waffling on the dates, but to my knowledge, in the late 80s to 90s, as baby-and post-baby boomers' levels of education attainment increased, cracks started appearing in the social milieu as the Singaporean Middle Class expanded. Middle class equals English-Speaking nuclear families above the average income bracket of the national population. Children from these homes differed from the (still) majority families in which Mandarin and/or a Chinese dialect was the predominant mode of communication. Children from English-speaking homes felt increasingly stymied and stressed by the mandatory Passing Grade they needed in Chinese language, a prerequisite for advancing to higher education institutions such as the coveted National University of Singapore. The Chinese language became the bane of many children's existence as their parents scrambled to mitigate their kids' plunging grades with extra tuition lessons in a language the Government deemed their "Mother Tongue", but was no more their Mother Tongue than was German or Swahili.


The millenia brought the problem to its head, worsened in a way by two developments: (1) English As Predominant Household Language was no longer the domain of the Middle Class, which had further expanded as education levels increased and a new generation of Polytechnic/University graduates schooled in the Bilingual system formed nuclear families. (2) The rise of China propelled Mandarin to a new place in the agendas of the policy-makers, who regarded the Chinese language as an economic and political asset. Meanwhile, the malaise that was the Bilingual Policy loomed like a spectre of doom as more and more kids struggled with passing Chinese. Stories of disgruntled parents who had to ship their kids off to British and American universities (which did not care if you had passed A Level Chinese) are aplenty, and so were resentful immigrants to Australia who had "turned their backs" on an unwieldly and unyielding education system.



And so we are here. 30 years on, it became clear to all but the most staunch of "Chinese chauvinists" that the Bilingual Policy has not produced bilingual Singaporeans. To their credit, the Education Ministry had tweaked the system along the way, customising the curriculum to cater to those with neither the "proper ethnic/linguistic environment" nor the ability (read: IQ) to survive the original Chinese syllabus (Primary and Secondary equating to 10 years) that was the bugbear of many. High school level Chinese was split into 3 streams of instruction - Chinese B for the hopeless, AO Level Chinese for those of normal IQ and Advanced Chinese (Higher Chinese or A Level Chinese) for students deemed to possess superior intelligence, measured by the standardised Primary School Leaving Examination (at age 12) and Primary Four Streaming examination (at age 10).


Tweaking did not produce a solution to the Mandarin muddle - that of sub-par Mandarin speakers and a curiously new social problem afflicting Singaporeans: Singlish - instead it produced a new generation of barely-proficient Mandarin speakers and a tiny proportion of students with excellent proficiency on paper who would never go on to use the language because they end up in English-speaking civil service jobs and other professional occupations. Chinese had become the tool which either got you an overpaid government scholarship to an Ivy League university, or the sledgehammer which obliterated your chances of making it to any university in Singapore.


The crux: the enlarged Middle Class (beneficiaries and traumatised survivors of the Bilingual Policy) now want the Government to "de-emphasise" Chinese language as an examinable subject and pre-requisite to University. The Chinese apologists are calling on the Government NOT to accede to the English-speaking whingers, warning of the already spiralling standards of Mandarin in our country.


2) The real problem - my perspective


I was born in 1979 and started my bilingual schooling in 1986 when I entered Primary school. In my household, my mother spoke to me exclusively in English, my father in Mandarin. My parents spoke Mandarin to each other as their respective mother tongues are Cantonese and Hainanese. My first spoken language as far as I remember was Cantonese, which I never completely forgot due to constant contact with my Cantonese-speaking maternal grandparents for the first 18 years of my life. My baby-sitter spoke to me in Mandarin and my cousins and their parents spoke mainly Mandarin. In primary school, I spoke English to some friends (from English-only families) and Mandarin to others in order to fit in. My paternal cousins made fun of me because I spoke no Hainanese and my Mandarin was not quite "authentic". I had one of the best Chinese teachers in the country who is responsible for my almost-perfect Mandarin diction to this day.


In high school, everything changed, and it was as if I had found my element. In my semi-elite all-girls school, everyone spoke English (proficiently and predominantly, not the sub-par mish-mash of English/Chinese/Singlish) and in the next 4 years, Chinese to me became the Foreign Language that it has become today. My grasp of new vocabulary became tenuous where it used to be effortless. Little by little, Chinese language which used to be second-nature, something I hardly thought about because I approached it as I did English, became as onerous as the hated Chemistry lab lessons I loathed. It had become another subject I had to do well in to ensure a good enough grade point average to enter Junior College. My mother hired me a tutor whom I barely tolerated and who could hardly tolerate me. I aced my oral exams (remember my fantastic Primary school Chinese teacher) and scraped through the O Levels with a B3 in Chinese. By then, I was speaking very little Chinese apart from conversing with my father, buying food at the market and coffee shops and once I got a B3 in the AO Levels (in Junior College) with 18 months of memorisation, I discarded Chinese once and for all. Never again would I have to memorise hundreds of proverbs, nouns and connectors to write an essay and never again would I have to read infernal passages of Chinese words I couldn't understand.


I had been liberated.


My story of Bilingualism is a common one, but for many more who had not managed to pass Chinese, theirs end in tragedy.



What is the real problem? Why can't Singaporeans excel in two languages? Did the Bilingual Policy really fail us? Or is there something else to the muddle aside from linguistics?


I am no sociolinguist, nor am I a scholar in language acquisition. I have, however, some idea of the current literature on Bilingual education from a developmental perspective. We all know a child has unlimited potential to acquire languages before the age of 9 or 10 (depending on which school of thought you prefer). We also know that a child quickly loses the ability to use multiple languages once its brain synapses has settled into one dominant "frame" or code as early as one or two years old. But code-switching is possible, as you saw in my case, where I was in fact trilingual until 8 or 9 when I "lost" my Cantonese mother tongue as English became the predominant language at home (since I saw my mother more hours of the day, spoke more to her, and read only English books).


So the problem is not one of intellect (as LKY has gallantly admitted) but more of environment. Daniel's mother tongue is German, he learnt English as a second language (as I did Chinese) most of his schooling life and was probably as proficient in English when he first arrived in Singapore as I was in Chinese. In the two years he's lived and worked here, his English has improved by incredible leaps and bounds, and so has his dialect and Singlish acquisition. He thinks and sometimes counts in English and even dreams in English from time to time. That is a true test of the nurture argument.


Language is a living thing. If you don't live it, you lose it. I'm not pontificating from a podium nor lecturing from an ivory academic/ policy tower. In a country where most of the natives excel in no particular language, butcher the English grammar like an amateur wielding a meat cleaver, and whose diction resembles nails on chalkboard - excruciating - SOME of us managed to get away with a decent-enough command of the language because we read voraciously as children, spoke to adults who learnt English from qualified teachers (none whatsoever exist since the 1980s when English was taught minus the rigorous grammar-drilling of the 70s under the colonial system) and immersed in a sociocultural environment of English-only mass media and popular culture. Daniel had none of the above while learning English in Germany (his German English teacher taught him "shade" as "shadow") and you really can't blame Germans for having an appalling proficiency in English although most have received instruction for many years as we had in Chinese.


But some say we CAN blame ourselves for our dreadful standards of Chinese because we have the three environmental pre-requisites for language proficiency here in Singapore. The only problem: it's there, but it's virtually useless. The English Middle Class Singaporeans do not read Chinese books and newspapers, do not speak it to anyone but their weary Chinese teachers and certainly have little interest in watching Chinese movies, listening to Mandopop and watching the Chinese news. It's like the Germans and French who learn English - as a very foreign and unimportant language as far as social and cultural value is concerned. If our Mandarin abilities has been relegated to Pasar Mandarin (market Mandarin), it's because there is no social or cultural imperative to master it. Children do not need it for their most basic communication needs - their families speak in (half-baked) English; adults do not need it in their jobs- they work in (half-baked) English; indeed Mandarin has become the sub-culture that Purists have always feared it would be.


3) The way forward - not a solution, but my take on how this will play out


You may have noticed that this is turning into a not-so-subtle critique of our dismal English standards. I will save that for another day. The problem, I reiterate, is not one of mere linguistics but one of an entire social and cultural milieu. Society has evolved, so has our nation's linguistic milieu. Politics had shaped (bilingual) policy which had not managed to evolve with the nation's cultural and demographic changes.


Many see the problem lying with the examination requirements of Chinese, they argue that exams take the "fun" out of learning Chinese. Others see the curriculum as outdated, outmoded and unsuitable, aka it's "too hard" for their predominantly (half-baked) English-speaking kids.


I see neither as the crux of the problem. We are forgetting that there is a very significant part of the population that is neither purely English-speaking nor Chinese-speaking - they are the Underclass. This fact has been lost amidst the vitriolic and righteousness of the Straits Times-reading Middle Class. More than anyone else, the Bilingual Policy has left the Underclass behind.


There is one more group: the Foreign-born population and their first/or second-generation Singaporean kids. These people hail from China and from the minute they enter Primary School and the Bilingual System, their linguistic disadvantage is even more pronounced because they speak no English, the primary medium of instruction in schools. And yet we do not hear this segment of society moaning and groaning about how difficult it is to master the ENGLISH language. The top PSLE student hailed from China, beginning Primary school here with no English ability. In 6 years years she attained a perfect score.


How? Pure hard work, she said.


Let's not nitpick whether mastering English in an all-English environment poses a slighter challenge than passing your PSLE Chinese. It is clear that what works for the foreign-born Chinese cannot work for the Singaporeans (pure determination). The only way is to


a) stop pretending that for Chinese Singaporeans, Mandarin is their "mother tongue" and teach Chinese as a Foreign Language or


b) re-orientate our entire national focus to de-emphasise English or bring back "Chinese schools" (which will never happen)


c) take a truly Multicultural approach to education - rebalance the English-Chinese emphasis in schools by either (i) conducting some subjects in the second language (which will mean protest from other ethnic groups) and (ii) doing away with Chinese as a prerequisite for education advancement.


The Bilingual Policy did not fail us so much as it was premised on a very flawed notion - that ethnic Chinese Singaporeans (and Malays and Indians for that matter) would take to Chinese (or Malay or Tamil) as naturally as fish to water. This is the essentialist "mother tongue" assumption which is stupidly ignorant of the fact that the environment and not your genes support your "mother tongue".


The Bilingual idea is a good one which we should keep. I cannot think of many other developed countries in the world with such a policy, and I think that it's something that has given us an edge and will continue to do so if we refine it properly. But we cannot do it without acknowledging the changes in society, in linguistic demography, and the fact that our society is truly a "multicultural" one - the authorities would be glad to know that nationhood has perhaps begun to take shape in Singapore - albeit at the alarming price of the decay of the "Purity" of English and Mandarin.

Friday, December 04, 2009

Research for Japan: Part I (Ito Onsen)

I must say, I should start my own bloody tourist agency.
Now we are preparing for our Japan trip, which pretty much means I am preparing for our Japan trip. And when I think of MY dream holiday in Japan, all I really want is to soak in ONSEN and eat yummy SASHIMI all the time.

First, we had to settle our accomodation, which we did in October for our stay from 21 to 28 December. Yes! Xmas in Japan. So what I did was to take the best short-cut to the best deals in a country you've never visited and do not have any interest in researching: ask someone who knows.
Thank goodness for (my colleague) Novene. Everyone should have a Japanophile for a friend.

So Novene found me some onsens in Atami, (also known as Hot Ocean in Japanese), it's in Shizuoka Prefecture, not too far from Yokohama (where we will be travelling from). Everyone mostly goes to Hakone, but the prices are too steep. We are going to Yokikan Ito Onsen, which is in Ito, a few local train stops from Atami. Our ryokan looks like this



We should expect to soak in this:


At night, the onsen is open too. This open air one is unisex. Yes, that means naked men and women.


Total for 2 nights, 2 people with breakfast and dinner in a traditional Japanese room = S$943

Of course, I had to research the transportation aspect of our trip. You can get precise train times, train types, rail lines, train names, distances and travelling time here. It's fantastic. I spent 2 hours yesterday putting together 4 options to get from Yokohama to Ito, complete with maps and directions.

There's really no need to get a Rail pass which will set us back over $400 each. The ticket from Yokohama to Ito (by normal Japan Rail, not shinkansen) is 1260 yen ($26) with one transfer at Atami. The most expensive is the direct KODAMA (bullet train) which is over 3000 yen cos you pay basic fare + super-express surcharge.

We have plenty of time anyway. The journey by slow and cheap option is slightly over 2 hours.

My itinerary is starting to look like 4 page manual on what to do, where to go and how to get there.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Getting to Sunset Grill

Sunset Grill is in the middle of god-knows-where in Seletar amidst airplane hangars and a few parked private jets. It is also on the premises of the Singapore Flying Club. To get there, you take the TPE and get off at Exit 12, Jalan Kayu.

The first minor complication is to take the right turnoff, which is the sneakily small little one on the right of Church of Epiphany (church immediately on your left).

You will arrive at a circus, take the Picadilly turnoff, I'm not kidding. Then on Picadilly Road, you go straight till there's no more road and you see Seletar Camp in your face. Do not go on, there is a left turn, take it (not the one with the bus stop, the one before).

The road winds to the right, and takes you to Old Birdcage Walk. Turn left and stay on the road.

Here it gets real dicey. Go on past the white colonial houses on your left, when you get to the T-junction, take a right, the road winds left again (on the right is a dead end, it's some gate to the army base).

Now the road gets dark, go straight on and you will see white signs for some place that ISN'T Sunset Grill. Follow the signs. You will come to a really dark spot with a sign saying turn right, do it cos there's nothing else if you go straight.

It's pitch dark. Turn on high beam, the road winds to the right (in front is a dead end with a fence). Keep going till you see the hangars.

Another sign says turn left, now you will wonder if you ventured onto some restricted area cos the road is a single lane leading into the airplane hangars. Look left and you will see this small building with bright yellow fluorescent bulbs.

That's the place. So go on straight, and turn left when you run out of road. The carpark is a few metres ahead on the left.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Home Made Mojito


Our new ixora plant...
Unsere neue Ixora Pflanze..
and some new friends for our fan palm:
Und ein paar neue Freunde unserer Palme:
(1) Lime
(2) Chilli padi (for Daniel),

and ( 3) Mint.....
...for the Mojitos!

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Spanish food in Manila


Wednesday night Boss and I went to Terry's for dinner with Tony & Charmi somewhere in the upper-class parts of Manila....Terry's serves Spanish cuisine fused with some Filipino like this hunk of roasted pork which we had to pre-order.

The skin is crispy like the Chinese-style roasted pig, but the meat is so soft it almost melts in your mouth. Plus a thin layer of fat and you've got a truly Yummy mouthful of roasted piggy.

wurst being grilled (uncanny resemblance to you know who's.....)

mushrooms sauteed in olive oil with parma ham
We also had squid ink paella, not photographed.