it's a freaking burden when you're the best at technology compared to the rest of your family.
every single thing.
EVERY SINGLE THING.

they ask you to do it.

And I can't even balance this with my studies, and my on-the-side extras.

and I get frustrated.

Especially when it's that time of the month. It's even more tiring.

And I have to be patient and smile and say I can do it when I'm on a freaking short fuse?

Cos of Allah. Cos I will be rewarded and have a higher chance of getting into Paradise.

Who says the price of paradise is cheap.

this is freaking difficult to do.

especially when I have a headache and I just spent the afternoon folding clothes and clearing the study room and your dad just blasted at you saying you slept the whole afternoon.

I slept for an hour cos I woke up early.

We tried to take a photo of Ilhan. We tried. But the proportions weren't right. His eyes weren't looking straight. He was wearing the wrong shirt according to my mum so he changed to a collared shirt. He was hungry and he wanted to eat. Then his mouth was dirty.

AND then EVERYONE got angry.

And the sun is setting down as I type.

stupid. This is stupid.

Lazy to do interim report right now. But I believe that I will get around to doing it... eventually. By tonight.

I just need to put myself at a distance and examine myself critically.

I just realised, meeting friends from my former life, that I have learnt to stand for what I believe in, over how others feel.

I was mean today. And I was perfectly okay with it.

I thought that there was only so much that I could tolerate that action. And I spoke against it. Is that bad?

I was mean today. And I was fine with that.

I'm not sure how I feel about that.

I think I don't like this about myself right now.

I could have handled it more gracefully.

If I think: What would Aisyah a.s. do about this? Or Khadijah a.s. do about this?

I don't think they would have treated that friend as I did.

And now, as I type this, realise I was mean. But I won't change what I did.

His needs were not that dire. And he did realise his fault. He was potentially taking up my time.

But if I feel like that, I should feel like my time is precious. And I should then use up that time to finish the interim report for my Quantitative Reasoning module.

I hope USP staff approves my application to India. I just flipped through the magazine by International Relations Office and there's someone talking about a snowboarding module.

Ah wellz.

UE in NUS should be funner: like graffiti art or stg. Bleah!

Came across this very nice song, something rare nowadays.

:)



She'll come to me in a dream
And I don't even know her name
A pretty mark upon her breast
To signify her from the rest
But her and I are just the same
Building bridges outta fame
She stands upon a dinner plate
And tells me that I'll have to wait

(Oooh, Wait for me)
I know it won't be easy
What a thing
To believe
In a dream

Perhaps I knew her long ago
I wrote her poems at nine years old
But then I did become a man
The letter slipped right through my hands
Practiced all my wit and charm
Had many girls on every arm
I learned the depths of love and hate
But never did learn how to wait

Wait for you
You say it like it's easy to do
What a thing
To believe
In a dream

I hope you know that all my life
I have been searching for a wife
A partner and a confidant
The girl who wants the things I want
A girl who doesn't come along
Cuz she's already where I'm goin'
I stand upon a broken stage
I beg ya darling, please, please wait

Wait for me
I know it won't be easy
What a thing
To believe
In a dream

I understand, and appreciate how Bertha feels. The crazed laughter trailing students who are taking her 'Art of Interview' masterclass. It was right after we told her that we do read her blog. She got so amused.

Because today, Wei Lie told me he read my blog. My reaction was almost similar.

It is that kind of satisfaction, that kind of disbelief when you know people read your blog. And it's this feeling that I have forgotten.

Writing for my audience- what it really means.

In Public Relations, you have to do it all the time. Knowing who your audience is, writing for them.
In Journalism too.

That's why I write. That's why I love to write. That's why I wanted so much to be a journalist.

I really loved the idea of writing simply to get the message across. It sounds so simple but it's so difficult.

Thank you Wei Lie, today you helped me remember the reason I love to write.

I'll try to do it regularly.