importance of being...

sometimes i think you can ascertain your importance in someone's life by the day allocated to you.

for example, if a friend always allocate a weekday to you, then you are likely less important than the friend(s) who occupies the fri/sat/sun timeslot.

i am not saying this is definitely true, but i can't help feeling this way. however, there are variables which may render this inaccurate.

its like dehydration.

ever get the feeling that you are losing something but unable to hold on to it?

or maybe its just that it has been slowly but surely slipping away but you didn't think much of it until its well on its way..

or perhaps its just that people has changed but you are still walking on the spot.



so should you wait and hope things improve, for others to realise or should you simply move on?

efficient day...sorta.

managed to kill about one thousand ants and 1 giant centipede while doing the laundry. because feeling depressed and useless, decided to embark on a brave journey by making cheese tarts and egg tarts. my very first attempt. end result? not bad at all.

brand new beginning? i hope.

more...taiwan...

Fisherman's Wharf at Dan Shui (Taipei)

Tamago Ya (Taipei) where we had a not-too-happy but 100% FOC meal.

Ooh..赚到！

Matyr Shrine (Taipei) and there's roomie's fave boy right at the centre..

hualien

a little about my taiwan trip here..though it has been a month since i've been back haha. first stop in taiwan is HuaLien. if you are the nature loving sort, and would like to enjoy a slower pace of life, this is the place to be. it strikes me as all natural, the people not unlike countryside folks who lead simple lives and easily contented. the first activity we indulged in is a hike to the Taroko gorge (太鲁戈). I cannot quite describe the sights, except that it was pretty unforgettable. the pace of the hike was pretty alright for city dwellers and for unfit white collar workers like hou and i. the guide, Greg, though not native of Taiwan (he's canadian, ang moh), knows the Taroko gorge and other nature reserve areas in Hua Lien like the back of his hand. it is also apparent the passion he has for nature. in all, we had an exhausting first day but the day was peppered with excitement. Greg brought us to a trail whereby we had to go through a series of 9 pitch dark tunnels to get to the Water Curtain Cave eventually. The tunnels varied in length and were all entirely dark. it was so dark that despite Greg assuring us the ground was flat and it was perfectly safe to take normal strides, i couldn't help myself but inch my way along uncertainly, while angeline and greg were practically skipping through. obviously i am not an adventurous and free spirited person and i am so ashamed of myself. damn. haha. first i have difficulty jumping from stone to stone (my legs are too much shorter. shit.) and then i am inching along on flat ground. omg. where is the ncc girl in me?

Our hostel in Hualien (Famosa) and the lady owner, who also happens to be Greg's fiancee. She was pretty pleasant though i didn't have much to chat to her about. my bad. however, i must add, the hostel is nice and clean enough. though i didn't sleep well on both nights (1st night, i had a 90% flat pillow. 2nd night, i was sick and the toilet bowl was my best friend. further, the mosquitoes were attacking my face. think they like the smell of bile?)

the second day in hualien was spent water rafting. we were all enthusiastic and all hyped up about it. despite wearing fantastic looking shoes (our first pair of shoes!), oversized life jackets and turtle helmets, we were still excited. however, as there was little rain for some time, the river was as exciting as a swimming pool. other than the occasional "rapids" and lots of splashing water at other rafts, it was pretty much dull. we were a little disappointed and i vow to come back again! when the water is more...alive. we were told everyone who came had a great time. guess we can only blame it on bad luck.

rainy day.

sometimes i just feel like sitting in the car, cruising around, listening to some music and thinkning about nothing at all. i just need a chauffer.

where did the gloominess come from? is it the aquarius in me, awakening?
juria said: yes, she has quite bad mood swing.
and i think: yes, she is quite right.
am i the only one who feels this way? i feel so bored and lonely, i need some company. i want to be alone but i am restless. i do not want to speak. i want to go out. i do want to be alone. but i don't want to do the asking. i always do the asking. maybe i should not try to maintain friendships. i should just get a dog.

everyone says i look fierce. unfriendly. proud. sad. but i want to look cheery. but i cannot smile all the time. no one ever tells me i look happy. sad. fierce. sad. fierce. slowly i am becoming it.

sometimes it seems so good to be an actor, for you can lose yourself in a character and you are that character. u can adopt a different persona, and forget, for that moment, who you are. it would be interesting to be someone else for a period of time. the downside is: the bloody camera. its not i am not content with my life. for i am considered lucky. a roof over my head. food for my hunger. water for my thirst. i am simply feeling gloomy.

hair apparent

i enjoy having haircuts. every trip to the hairdresser promises apprehension, excitement and surprise (or sometimes shock). there is always deliberation over what hair style to spot. but the risk-averse me and contentment with the present hair will keep me in my safety net. however, virtually every trip i make to the hairdresser is sparked off after certain bouts of emotional distress (though sometimes its really due to the weed multiplying on my scalp). a haircut is a therapeutic process which promises a perceived new beginnng. sitting on the cold metallic chair, apprhension will grip me (will i end up looking like dumb or dumber?) and excitement will course through my blood (a miracle may strike). most importantly, a whole new me will emerge.