In the presence of him, you pretend to ignore him and look away, in hoping that he'll look your way. but when he is no longer there, you look around desperately to find him. And you will be disappointed to know that he is gone. Although you are talking to someone else, your eyes are fixed on him. You find your textbooks filled with his name. And in the midst of your desk, you could actually spot his name there. Everytime when your handphone rings, you would hope to see his name. When it is not him, you get so depressed. When your phone gets quiet, you will be tempted to messsage him. When he doesn't reply you, your imagination will run wild and you will get very upset. Cause you feel that your are unimportant to him. And sometimes you will even wonder if he have forgotten of your existence. Three quarters of your handphone is filled with his photos and messages. But you find yourself unable to delete anyone of them. When you really have to, you will feel your heart aches. When there is a new movie out, the first person you wished to watch with, is him. But you will always end up watching it with your friends. When people mention the words "Valentimes' Day", the first thing that appears in your mind is his name. You realise that your conservations wiht your friends will never fail to include him. You worry if he will fall for someone else. And it hurts when you know that the person will never be you again. You find yourself getting so affected by just one word he says or action he does. Sometimes you will get angry with him for some reasons and feel that you are starting to hate him. But once you see him, your heart will melt and you will find yourself loving him, once more. You swore for more than a millions times never to message him again but find yourself sending a message to him. You try to forget him but it starts to remind you of the happy moments you spend with him. Many a times, you force yourself to stop liking him but find it even harder than killing yourself. You try to convince yourself that you don't like him anymore but find the person on your mind is still him. While you are reading this, the one that has appeared on your mind is him, right? It is tiring to live in pretence and lies. You can't avoid it. Love is cruel. Its hurts, almost all the time.

The above are taken from jinting's blog with her permission. But i have changed some of the words and phrases.

hey guys. hahas. im juz here to say tat i change my blogskin again cos sophie say this suits me better. so juz tag in ur comments, kaes? thkz. Sayonara! bye bye!

harlow guys. hahas. juz changed my blogskin to a happier one, tag in ya comments, kaes? anywaes, today i had my 'O' lvl chinese. a very bad thing about 'O' lvl is they ask u to be there 45 mins before the first paper and everyone was crowding at the stairway. it was so stuffy. then i was about to saffocate le lorx. haiz. then it was also very and i was perspiring like siao. then, i was super wet. then, when i got into the hall. all of a sudden, i felt very nervous sia. then, i put my confirmation slip under table. then in the end, it flew off and tat stoopid examiner took it away. then when i ask if i could have it back, he ask me y is it on the floor. stoopid question sia. but fortunately, i still got back my confirmation slip. the paper in general is not too bad. i can at least score a B3 ba. hope to get it lahx. im keeping my fingers crossed. hahas. how about peeps out there who r reading my blog? how do u fair? hope it is good cos no one would wan to waste the $ to retake ba. hahas.
it is holiday now. but not a holiday for me. haiz. my dad is always bugging around telling me to study study study and study. haiz. im going to go crazy le. haiz. alwaes study study study. hate it man. but wat to do, im going to have my 'O's at the end of the year. haiz. sickening sia. why cant we go to school without having to take examinations? haiz. i hate exams. ARGH! ok. a happier note: they allowed me to stay at the chalet lehx. hahas. so happy. first time sia. but i scared they say i nvr study then dun left me go sia. haiz. dun care lahx. juz do my normal routine lorx.
aiyo. i better stop now. cos i have nth to blog about le.if not, i will start crapping le. so sayonara! bye bye...

hey guys! hahas. anywaes, im juz here to wish all peeps who are having the 'O' level chinese next monday a VERY GOOD LUCK & ALL THE BEST! STUDY HARD HARD WORX! get the grades u desire and let it go! hahas. so tat u can concentrate on ur other subjects ma. kaes? hahas. GOOD LUCK! ALL THE BEST! GET A DISTINCTIONS HORX! hahas. tat's all. bye bye! im off to work hard.

hihiz. now im at soapy hse. hehes. got back all of my papers today. haiz. not gd lehx. not going to tell my parents about it. they will only noe when i get back moi report book lorx. *sob sob* i fail my maths , combined humanities, and english. got 40/100 for combined humanities, 42.7/100 for maths and english i already said it. then for my the other subjects, i get 57/100 for combined science (physics and chemistry) , 54.1/100 for biology and for chinese get it from my previous entry. hehes. but i fail my overall lehx. got only 49.3/100. haiz. die le. if my dad knows about my results, then i wont be able to see tml's sunrise. die le. i gonna rest in peace le. haiz. life is boring now. 'O' level chinese exams is around the corner. only 6 days more. haiz. but i haven even start my revision. and today got mock exams in sch. i only know got 4 out of 10 correct for my 'shen ci'. haiz. so disappointed sia. must start my revision le. if i slack on, then i will flunk my chinese 'o' level le. i cant flunk it! must at least get a A2 or A1. cos tat's the only subject which i canscore liaox. cant let this chance slip away. so, study hard! aiya. i got nth to write about le. think i will stop here le. buaiz. sayonara! hahas. will be back with more happenings soon. *grins*

hihiz. back to blog again. juz came back from school. today, school is very boring. had many long hours of talk by JCs, polytechnic and many other institutions like Laselle. SIA, NAFA, SHATEC. i was find the SHATEC one more interesting. it allows me to know more about SHATEC(which i didn't before the talk). it made me have a clearer view of what i want in life. it is very informative. maybe i will be going to SHATEC to pursue for my diploma in hotel management. cos i find it very interesting! hahas. today, i also got back my english and chinese paper for the mid-year exams. *sigh* my chinese grades was not up to my standard but at least i got a 68/100. but my english grades is disappointing. i failed very badly. i got 33/100 only. how am i going to tell this to my dad? he will kill me! *sigh* cried a couple of times when i got back the papers. *sigh* i was so trumatised(did i spell it correctly?)! i was so sad... *boohoo* but what is done cannot be undone, so why mourn about it. move on and strive for better results. work harder! study harder! be more hardworking, and i guess my grade would be better. keeping my fingers crossed as i cannot fail english during the GCE 'O' levels examinations. *sigh* hope i will at least get a C6. just a pass and i will be very happy.
ok. now a happier issue. yesterday, i went to Sentosa with qinghui, valerie, sophie, phil, peiyi, ivan, chuan siang, irwin, kenny, kam chun, alvin, liya, andrew, muneer and serchin. i woke up at about 7.15 cos sophie msg me then i was awoken by the msg alert tone. *yawn* i was so tired. actually, i didn't want to go. but after much thought, i stop lazing around and woke up to pack my stuff. i was not in the mood to eat breakfast at home. thus, i called some of them but all of them was eating at home while qing hui have to bring her brother to see the doctor. so, i left home hungrily and went to mac to buy fish bunger for qing hui and myself. i then went to meet qing hui at the mrt station. soon, sophie and valerie came. but none of the guys appeared. we started to get worried. we were scared that the guys had left. we didn't even notice irwin who was sitting down at one corner. he was so idiotic. he didn't even call out for us when he saw us and kept us all worrying. but fortunately, soon the guys came, we waited a while more for peiyi and left for Sentosa. the mrt was very packed. it was so idiotic. we reached harborfront and went to take the shuttle bus to Sentosa. on the bus, we were discussing about which beach we should go. i wanted to palawan but all of them purposely go against me, thus we went to siliso beach. all of us bullied sophie cos all of us gave our $ to her and ask her to buy the tickets for us. hahas. so bad right? anyway, upon arriving there, the guys started playing soccer while we gals, played volleyball. then, andrew and muneer came over to play with us. then, we head off to the water! hahas. i was the first one to get wet. cos i went into the water to get the volleyball. then, i pulled the unwilling qing hui into the water too. hahas. then came valerie, liya, sophie and the guys. four of the guys swam to the 'small island' opposite and changed to words which was initially "Ah Xiong" to "2a2". then, we played in the waters for some times. then, we gals went to watch the animal show. there was 2 monkeys and one big bird. the monkeys were cute. their butt very big and red. it is kinda gross. but the show was nice. then, qinghui, liya and valerie went to catch fish, leaving sophie and me behind with nothing to do. we sat in th shade for a while then went to wash off the sand in our body and then went to look for qing hui, liya and valerie. they caught quite a number of fishes. we saw a water snail too. it was so cute. hahas. then, qinghui took a picture of the entire "aquarium" then sophie released them back into the sea. after tat, we played in the water for a while. irwin, serchin and muneer was throwing sand at qing hui, then when she complained, they helped her to wash it off by splashing water at her. then, we played poison ball and some stupid games. then, we stopped and rest. some of the guys went to tan themselves under the sun while some of them sat at the shade. i was looking for someone to bury and muneer volunteered himself. hahas. i had so much fun burying him. then, i lie down on the sand for a while. then, went to soak in the water. it was so nice. i was floating on the waters. so soothing. then, we decided on where we are going for our lunch cum dinner. actually, we decided to go 'Lao Ba Sa'. but it started raining cats and dogs when we were leaving Sentosa. thus, we went to have our meal at harbor front. we were all wet when we got there. the shelter was useless. it didn't prevent any rain from coming in. thus, all of us were wet, again. it was cold. i was freezing cos the air-conditioner was very cold. we ate our meal ansd took 855 home. on the way home, i slept for a while and woke up as i was hitting my cheek against the window grill. then, i scared that later got blue-black. then chat with irwin and found out a lot of things which i wont mention about and kana di siao by him lorx. then, i continued my lonely walk home from the bus stop. it was a fun day. but i was lethagic after a day of fun. slept quite early yesterday and was lazy to wake up this morning. today, my school have a lot of 'lobsters' walking around cos those who went to Sentosa yesterday had sun burn. i also sun burn on my face ad at my back as i was wearing v-necked tank top. it is so pain. ARGH! i go apply lotion le.
that's all for this entry. buaiz. sayonara!

hihiz. back for some blogging again. exams are finally over. but i still cant enjoy myself. *haiz* cos 'o' lvl chinese are around the corner. anyway, im getting sick and tired of things tat r happening around me. if u r organising a class gathering, would u seperate the gals wif the guys? like book two rooms then gals one, guys one. hopefully not, if not, u should bein a boys or gals sch lorx. but for mixed sch, i dun think it is nice to organise a class gathering and separate the sexes. it is so ridiculous man. n furthermore, u should know tat not all the gals r allowed or wan to stay, so y book another one, we gals r not tat rich ya noe? only about 5 gals can stay, does tat means tat we have to pay more? of cso, we have to. so y make us spend the extra $ when we can save them? CLASS GATHERING INVOLVES EVERYONE, MEANING BOTH GUYS AND GALS. SO DUN LEAVE THE GALS OUT IF IT IS THE GUYS WHO R ORGANISING IT & IF IT IS THE GALS WHO R ORGANISING, DUN LEAVE THE GUYS OUT TOO!
haiz. dun wish to talk about this issue anymore, i will only get angrier. haiz. now exams, i dun think i will do well for this exams. cos i think i have flunk my maths. haiz. the paper is not very easy and not difficult too. but i juz dunno how to do. perhaps, my brain is rusty le. hahas. anyway, im waiting to know my results. hopefully, i can pass my eng and comb humans, these are the subjects which i have been failing since last year. hahas. keeping my fingers crossed!
kkz. i think i will stop here le. buaiz.

to weiyang: can u dun anyhow say people when u dun even the situation? unknown scolded me b*tch for nth then said tat he/she will tell me hu he/ she is. but in th end, did not. in the end, he/she told to me guess. he/she is the one who said tat he/she will tell me who he/ she is. but in the end, said not telling me le. i dun even noe wat happened to make tat person scold me b*tch. it is so ridiculous lorx. then u still help tat person. wat a gd kor ur man. hahas. wat a gd kor. wanna noe more about it then ask me in msn...

hihiz.im back! hahas. anyway, life still sux for me. hahas. now it is exam period but i still cant set myself down to do some serious revision. haiz. i hate myself now. i juz sux. haiz. anyway, today had chinese paper in sch, then tat stoopid mdm chia go set the paper 2 and added one word tat was not in our syllabus. so dangerous lorx. if 'o' levels also like tat then how? die liao lorx. anyway, after tat, the managing director and founder of 77th street came to give a talk in school. they took so long to start lorx. but the talk was quite interesting lahx. cos she gave out 77th street $5 cash voucher. then the guys was like running to get it from her hands. hahas. like crazy people. hahas. anyway, she showed us a couple of videos. they were all very inspiring. but one of it caused me to be back to sadness again. it told us to keep our temper, which i did not previously. and tat caused us to end. haiz. but i think everything is too late now. all my sorrys are of no use anymore. all my effort to win him back is fruitless. and i think he has a new target le. haiz. i m such a lousy person when it comes to relationship. he treat me so good but i treat him good only when i m happy, then when i m unhappy, i will flare up wif every single he does. im truely remorseful of my past doings. i really wan to be wif him again. i have truely learnt this lesson le. but i understand y he dun wanna believe in me le. cos i said tat i will change but i did not. so he was hurt too deeply, tat he thinks it is pointless to patch le. i understand. i understand his pain. but i guess he is now very happy wif his life. having lotsa ppl around him who he enjoys being wif. perhaps, it is really really time to let go le. if we are truely meant to be, we will still be together in the end. if we are truely not meant to be, then we will remain as now till forever.

to unknown:
who are u? please stop acting secretly le. since u dare to scold me then own up lahx. y muz u always beat around the bush when i ask u about it? u said it is not a misunderstanding, then y not reveal ur real name? dare to scold but dun dare to put ur own name arhx? please use ur own names next time. thkz. and bye!