hihiz. im back to blog again after so long. anyway, life for me now suckz big time. everyday quarrel wif brother, kana scolded by parents. nothing is going on right. my life is in a mess. i cant study, im addicted to game. i really feel very bad about myself, nothing in me is worth people's praises. WHY?! i am like back to primary six time when all my friends leave me and i am left alone. at that time, i did not have attitude problem but people still dun like me. WHY?! am i really so hateful? am i? maybe yes, maybe no. but why?! i wanted to accomodate you dont wan to. u said u dont wan me to play game with you. but i am really willing to change for you. really. why wont u juz give another chance? juz one more. but i doubt you will. you have been so firm with your answers all this while. nothing i do will win you back. nothing. am i really such a failure in life and in relationship? you said it is unfair for you. but dont you think it is unfair to me now? it is the same situation but it is happening on me. i am more than willing to accomodate you now. i am. many people have persuaded me to give up but i dont wan to. it is hard. everytime, you will give me hope but you will also smash them into pieces. WHY?! if you really dont like me le, why still give me hope? why give me hope, then smash them? haiz. but i think this time, it is really time to give up hope. stop giving me. you dun like me, its ok. i wont give up the whole, entire forest for one tree which is you. it is pointless to hold on to something that will never ever come true right? so, i will give up all the hope. but are we still friends? if we are, can u at least say a hi or something. dont treat me like stranger. after all, we are ex-steads. hope this will clerify everyone's doubts too.
anyway, i may look very strong outside. i may still look cheery and bubbly. but deep down my heart is tore to a million pieces. my heart is bleeding profusely. my heart is crying like a running tap. i am still slowly picking up the pieces and putting them back in place. will any one understand? no, i think everyone is juz picking at my weakness which is this. haiz. even my parents dont understand. i really need someone to care. and can everyone stop talking bout it. it would be greatly appreciated. let it pass. stop holding on to it. i have began to let go. but my bleeding may not stop so soon, my cries may not fade away. but time will ease all pain and sadness, my love for you may never change but it would be kept deep down in my heart. it will.

just wan to let guys out there know, dont ever hurt your loved ones...[especially when it is on purpose]

Message: A girl wont cry easily EXCEPT when in front of the person who she love the most, she becomes weak.

A girl wont cry easily, only when she love you the most, she put down her ego.

Guys, if a girl cries because of you, please hold her hands firmly, she's the one who would stay with you for the rest of your life.

Guys, if a girl cries because of you, please dont give her up, maybe because of your decision, you ruin her life.

When she cry infront of you, wen she cry because of you, look into her eyes, can you see and feel the pain and hurt she's feeling?
Think.
Which other girl have cried with pure sincerity, infront of you and because of you?

She cry not because she is weak, she cry not because she wan sympathy or pity, she cry becuase crying silently is no longer possible, the pain, hurt and agony have become too big a burden to be kept inside.

Guys,think about it, if a girl cry her heart out to you, and all because of you, its time to look back on what you have done, only you will know the answer to it.

Do consider it, cause one day, it may be too late for regrets, it may be too late to say "i am sorry".

To my friends, ponder this message seriously. Dont do this to a girl, you may regret for the rest of your life. Maybe in your life, she is the only one that love you the most. Remember this lesson.

the above is extracted from a email that my friend send to me recently.

tat's all. buaix.

hihiz. it has been quite some time after my last blog entry. anyway, not very good things happened recently. i broke up with him on april fool day. it is so stupid lorx. then, when i tell my friends, they dun believe then think tat it is a april fool's day prank lehx. haiz. i where got so bo liao to play such a stupid prank on them. where got ppl curse themselves of breaking up wif their stead de? haiz. im so down this few days. cried a couple of times. and is having many sleepless night since then. how torturing? haiz. actually, also cannot blame him, im the cause of the break actually. haiz. but i must not let this affect me esp my studies. cos 'O' level chinese exams are around the corner. and it is going to hit me real soon. haiz.
anyway, yesterday was a superb day. hahas. cos i got the chance to walk home under the rain and got myself all drenched. actually, it was a good way of forgetting unhappy things. i was drenched from head to bottom. hahas. so fun. but also very cold. then, got slight headache after the walk.
i think i will just stop here le. sayo. buaiz.