Thursday, April 28, 2005

today was an alright day, but i felt worthless the moment i saw her. i guess it may really be over.
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and ya, i may get my hair cut by won tomorrow, woooooots.

me
12:57 PM

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

o ya, and should anyone have any comments about me, say it straight to my face, bastard. dont act like a hypocrite, acting nice in front of me, and putting shit about me in your blog. i dont really care if anyone hates me, but what i cant stand are hypocrites, always acting like they think you are ok, then talk bad about you behind your back. assholes.

me
11:44 AM

realised that im nothing but an attention seeking bastard. i now know whats wrong with me, i always try too hard to impress, try to hard to let others know how good i THINK i am. when im not that special afterall. realised that im just a worthless idiot. im starting to feel if this blog is starting to turn into another site for the sake of attention seeking, a place for me to wallow in self-pity, a place to make others have pity on me, show others how pathetic i really am. im doing it again, talking about how fucked up i feel now. really. i just wanna give all these shit up, all the impressin and actin. as they say, "i break not to impress, but to express". all i wanna be able to do now is to express myself. i swear i'll be a changed guy now. no more bitchin bout how good i think i am, when im really not. ya, and if i ever do anything like this, just slap me when you see me. wake me up.

me
10:43 AM

Sunday, April 24, 2005

im going back to sizzers. cheap and good, if you get the correct hairdresser.
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wth, i miss you.

me
1:32 PM

Saturday, April 23, 2005

screw today's chi paper. the distribution of marks was crap. and so was the compo. it seemed more to be like some lit qns. i think ima fail this test. wth.
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And if you ask me to,
Daddy's gonna buy you a mocking bird
I'ma give you the world
I'ma buy a diamond ring for you
I'ma sing for you,
I'll do anything for you to see you smile
And if the mockingbird don't sing and the ring don't shine
I'ma break that birdy's neck
I'll go back to the Jeweler who sold it to ya
And make him eat every karat
Don't fuck wit dad. haha

me
11:56 AM

Friday, April 22, 2005

why do chi papers like to talk about how lonely you will be in the future? damn chi papers. these chi papers set me thinking, on what the situation will be like in the future. on how difficult it may be to find your old friends and to just sit down and talk. well, maybe not the same things as we are talking about now, like girls and stuff, but about more, how do you put it, mature stuff. i dont know, i just have a naggy feeling.
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ar, wtf, the aqua at H3 messed up my hair. i just cut my hair today, and now i look like a geek. its like every strand of hair on my head is of the same length. wtf, im never gonna let him touch my hair again.
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its about time.

me
12:17 PM

Thursday, April 21, 2005

man, damn freaking tired today. slept like a [insert some animal here, i forgotten what the actual one was]. i slept thru 2 physics periods. 1 hr of sleep. wth. im really sleep deprived.
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i suddenly miss all the rehearsals for SYFOC and NCC Day parade. Really miss the times where we will be having lunch (it was western food, wtf, best food i had for NCC events) at SAFTI MI in our half No. 1 uniform. Following that, we would march towards the parade square together, as a whole contingent, with SJI. i would be standing in the outside file, daron on my right, and we would shout the timing for the whole contingent, not letting any of those SJI people have a chance. at the parade square, we would rehearse again and again, then have a break, then rehearse again and again. the firing of the blanks, the half No. 1 on us, the gloves on our hands, the M-16, our temporary wife. all these strengthened my pride as an NCC cadet marching in the parade. the thought of the mass audience on the actual day, the thought of how everybody will be looking at US. these thoughts just made me proud. proud of being in the contingent, being in the parade. but relating back to our unit now, i dont feel the pride, i dont feel the proudness. i dont feel the want to compete, to improve. i only see some people, attending trainings, to get the cca points they need for JC admission. man. but anyways, i'll most prob be marching this year again, as the flag party, carrying ZHONGHUA'S flag. may very well be under kitto again. Haha.
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woohoo, sports day tomorrow. and you will see a blob of pink somewhere in serangoon stadium. yep, i'll be in it. hahahaha.
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and, there's something wrong with my cookies or something like that. cant tag at the board. so til i fix the prob, imma reply the tags here.
=>tat long: dont think too much, its not gossip.
=>peijie: ya, i linked you already.
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righhhhhtttt, ima bounce. peace.

me
11:47 AM

Monday, April 18, 2005

attended tae kwon do training today, or rather every sunday. but today made me realise how terribly unfit i am. wtf. damn 'o' levels. delayed so many things bacause of it. all the things that i really DO have an interest in. delayed my progress in these things to do well for my 'o's, or rather TRY to do well. delayed my senior black belt grading from may to dec, cant take part in june's competition, delayed my BM for swimming. wtf. if only i could stop studying. if only.
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i have decided, after the 'o's, imma put my heart and soul in tae kwon-do. that is if i still remember.

me
12:15 PM

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

And so we talked all night about the rest of our lives,
where we gonna be when we turn 25
I keep thinking times will never Change
Keep on thinking things will always be the same
when we leave this this year we won't be coming back
no more hanging out cause were on a different track
and if you got something that you need to say
you better say it right now cuz you don't have another day

Cuz we're moving on and we cant slow down
these memories are playing like a film without sound
and I keep thinking of that night in June,
I didnt know much of love but it came too soon.
And there was me and you and we got real Blue,
stay at home talking on the telephone, with me, we'd
get so excited and we'd get so scared,
laughing at ourselfs thinking life's not fair...
And this is how it feels...

CHORUSAs we go on,
We remember,
All the times we,
Had together,
And as our lives change,
Come whatever,
We will still beFriends Forever...

So if we get the big jobs and we make the big money,
when we look back now will our jokes still be funny?
will we still remember everything we learned in school,
still be trying to break every single rule?
Will little brainy Bobby be the stockbroker man?
Can Heather find a job that won't interfere with her tan?
I keep, I keep thinking that its not goodbye,(not goodbye)
Keep on thinkin its a time to fly,
And this is how it feels...

CHORUS
As we go on,
We remember,
All the times we,
Had together,
And as our lives change,
Come whatever,
we will still beFriends Forever...

la,la,la,la... yeah, yeah...la, la, la, la
We will still be,
Friends Forever

------BRIDGE------
Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?
Can we survive it out there?Can we make it somehow? (somehow)
I guess I thought that this would never end,
AND SUDDENLY IT'S LIKE WE'RE WOMEN AND MEN
Will the past be a shadow that will follow us round?
Or will these memories fade when I leave this town?
I keep, I keep thinking that its not goodbye
Keep on thinking its a time to fly...

CHORUS x3
As we go on,
We remember,
All the times we,
Had together,
And as our lives change,
Come whatever,
We will still be
Friends Forever...


been listening to this song. honestly, where do YOU think you will be at 25? will you still remember your secondary school friends? will you still hang out? honestly, im not sure now. the fun times now, the times all of us had toghether. si xiong di, 4e5'05, 2e2'03, NCC, pB, the laos. dont know what we will end up as, but to me, you all will be my friends, forever. i just cant help but feel lost and unsure of what the future holds. "So if we get the big jobs and we make the big money, when we look back now will our jokes still be funny? will we still remember everything we learned in school, still be trying to break every single rule?" this is self explainatory. well, maybe i have nothing to do, and think too much. damn perfect 10 for playing that song.
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brothers, dont forget, we still gonna set up the pub. wahaha.
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"I keep thinking of that night in June, I didnt know much of love but it came too soon" hmm... haha, im thinking too much. well take care everybody, peace.

me
12:52 PM

Monday, April 04, 2005

was kinda reading thru my testimonials on friendster, from the very first to the last. suddenly felt nostalgic. really missed the times in the past. also realised that i had already started to slowly lose contact with my classmates in primary school, and even my sec 1 + 2 classmates. started to think if all these studying is really worth it. all im doin now is studying, then, after o levels, we get our results and continue studying, slowly letting go of the things important in our life. after studying, all one can acheive is just a piece of laminated, or glossy paper that shows how good you are at memorising useless facts and theorems, and you use that piece of paper to get a job that lasts you through your life. and in hte next 40 years, you slog your heart out. you receive your first pay, then many more, get promoted, get a higher pay. you earn your first million. you start a family. at that time, you may think you are really happy. you may think that thats the peak of your life, the primetime, and its at that time, you wonder, where all your primary school friends, where all your secondary friends are and how they are doing. you scroll through your list of contacts in your handphone, and cant even find a single classmate's handphone no. and you live the rest of your life regretting. you spent maybe the next 10 to 20 years, wishing you attended those gatherings, or regretting being absent from those meetings cos you hold a cert.
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maybe at this time of my life, i have no right to say anything like that, or you may perceive me as an ignorant brat, who thinks he knows it all. im not trying to prove anything here. its just my two cents worth. ignore me if you must.
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greatest condolences to catholics all around.

me
2:27 PM

man, congrats to all who were awarded the OCA today at the affirmation ceremony. Wished i was up there too, but i screwed up the interview. haha, whats done is done, at least its another thing off my mind. now concentrate on my studies. peace.

me
1:16 AM

Sunday, April 03, 2005

today's basically a great day.
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flying ah peh.

me
3:12 PM