My complaints are few,

my persecutions, minor,

my arguments, unreasonable.

I don't have to look to tomorrow to be blessed.

Here and now, I am blessed.

What I have in this hour is all that I need,

and what is to come is your abundant grace.

My hand desires more,

but let my heart be satisfied in you and all you have provided.

I've been given more than I've asked for,

and received far more than I deserve.

The idols and desires will fall and fail,

but you remain constant.

May you forever be my foundation that holds me strong,

may you forever be the eternal water from which I will thirst no more,

may you be the shining love on me that I reflect to the world.

Lead me from distraction and temptation,

and let me not stray from the path you have placed me on.

Let me not forget, in the luxury of life, 

the calling and purpose which you have appointed me to.

You are the source of everything that is good in this world,

and my heart will never stop seeking you above all else.

My silence speaks louder than my words,
but here they speak in vain:
There is nowhere that I can be alone,
Yet everywhere that I go, I feel alone.
They can all hear my stammered words,
They can all see the expressions on my face.
and maybe the tears in my eyes.
but no one really hears my heart screaming
No one sees it beat blood through aching holes.
Ill pour some sand in my heart to soak up the blood.
Ill put a smile on my face so you won't know
what I don't think you will understand
because I believe that I am alone.
I've convinced myself that the God I claim to live for
can hear me, but will not respond.
Have I attempted to deify myself?

You pity yourself you selfish fool.
You hate this world and all you want is someone else to hate it with you.
You once knew love when your world was a crib,
and you want to go back to that world.
You don't want the world you are resistantly forced into
and feel as though you must embrace so much of it that you don't want to.
You are in a state of helpless, hopeless confusion.
You will not open your heart, you will not show it
because you are afraid that no one will understand.
You do not even believe God understands you,
You steal the joy of others and take none for yourself.
Yet you are selfish and stubborn.
You don't know your purpose anymore,
You don't see your calling.
You are bipolar, emotional, and dramatic.
You are lost and feel you have become a burden to those around you

I do not understand what I am meant to understand.
Why is it all so easy for every other person to grasp and so difficult for me?
If I'm meant to let go of something, why was I meant to grab it in the first place.

Where is a cure?
Where is understanding?
Where is community?
Where is agreement?
Where is faith?
Where is God?
Where is love?
Where am I?

Where I look is where I go
And these are the things I see in a mirror
A mirror which stands between me and God

abandon

this is who you are,
or rather, who you're not
the solidity of your beliefs
is now fragments, scattered, and skewed
deceived to the point of being turned inside out
truth and the conscious are tossed and twisted
around a fallacy which has raped you of wisdom


"You left behind hopes and dreams of a life left incomplete.
You walked away from everything you believed in,
When you wanted to change the world.

You left behind all remains.
You left behind all that remains. "

"Needles"- Haste the Day