2009, ending.

it has been an eventful year.
many things changed, mindsets as well.

overall it has been a good one for me. certain doings of mine had made me pay some price - a postponed graduation. looking forward, I hope the next semester will be my last and a memorable one.

happy new year people! :)

In search of ...

I have been traveling a lot for the past few days and there will be more to come in the next few days. spending time with family members seem to be the best thing to do during holidays, from 3 years old to 96 years old. feel accomplished! *claps*

leaving footsteps on so many places, both old and new, yet I have not found what I want. perhaps I wanted to graduate like most of my uni-mates or to further my studies for another n years; perhaps I wish to settle down some place and start a life, working day and night. where I want to end up in? I don't know.

somehow there's this something that I think I have to do. whether or not it is the someone that I am looking for, it may be best if I just give it a try right?

1 more semester

results came out a few hours ago. I did fine, not particularly good nor bad. then MSN looked good because I see a lot of display names carrying the word 'graduate'. so apparently I will have to save some money for graduation gifts in March 2010.

1 more semester to go for me, 2 more units and I will join into the workforce and start the no-day-no-night lifestyle. somehow or another I am glad that I have another 4-month holiday and 3-month lesson time before I think about getting a job and stuff. like honestly, put me into the workforce and I can contribute nothing except for boosting the economy by spending. in addition, I can add on to another credit crisis before I secure any income.

so... I'm looking at HTC Touch Diamond2 T5353 in replacement for my lost N95-8GB. spending holidays at a relaxing mood and certainly gaining weight with all the good food I miss at home. (of course, in the midst of waiting for school to reopen in March 2010!)

the end.

have you watched 2012?

if someone tells you that the world is going to end in 2 years' time, what will you do?
who do you want to be with when the world is coming to an end?
is there anything that you would like to do before the end approaches?

I guess we all have answers to that question in our hearts.
the question now will become - will you act accordingly no matter whether 2012 occurs?

Freedom

having holidays started way before everyone else is not a good thing.
it happens to be that I start my day at 1pm.
and worse of all, there are literally no program for the day.

therefore I have decided to go back home by this friday.
and the 4-month holiday continues...
what is freedom suppose to mean?

原点

这几个月家里发生了一些事，我的心情很严重被影响到。
今天肇事者决定让一切归零，回到原点。
原本我应该很高兴的，却很感伤。
高兴因为她找到自己所追求的快乐和空间；
感伤因为我们的关系变了。

她今天生日，我却没有帮她庆祝。
唯有简单地说了一句生日快乐。
三年了，原来关系可以变得这么夸张。
你说我令你失望，那请问我有给过你什么希望呢？

End of exams

today marks the end of exams for me.
it is obviously very sad since I am the only one freed so early.
another sad thing is that this is not my last semester, well it is supposed to be.

since I have been 'studying' for the past 2 weeks non-stop, I so look like a dumb blur panda now.
therefore, I need to go and sleep. :P

till I regain consciousness and sanity!

Management

recalling how 2 years ago I picked management as my major because of interests. all of a sudden everything is about to end (hopefully...) and I have done 6 out of the 8 required units. project management and international management are my last units and after that the word 'management' will appear in my certificate.

the usual 6 choose 4 format, 2-hour paper and 40% weightage in total assessment.
Human Resource Management, International Business, Organisational Behaviour.
Strategic Management, Organisational Change and Development.
Project Management for Small and Medium Enterprises, International Management.
of course not forgetting Managing People and Organisations.

the road here ain't easy, but I'm glad I see the exit now.
and I'm very happy that I am still in one piece, having learned a lot of things. :)

A respected member of the society.

there's this group on facebook which draws the attention of many nanyang girls.
it was about singing school song, singing it aloud.
actually the lyrics is quite meaningful.
teaches us the right attitude to be a respected member of the society. XD

I have to admit, my 4 years there and I hardly opened my mouth when singing that routine weekly song. everybody just sings it in a rather high key and I just don't want to spoil the harmony by singing it an octave lower. my senior years were spent upstairs outside the band room playing the music on a tuba. thus I don't think I ever sang it aloud.

我们跟时代进行， 高唱谐和的歌音,
五育平均齐发展， 堂堂的做个完人,
共同努力追赶光明， 巩固国家基础， 锻炼身心；
我南洋桃李成阴， 我南洋校誉光荣,
在太平洋的西岸， 在印度洋的东滨,
共同努力振起精神， 献身国家社会， 锻炼身心~

only now when I'm out of nanyang I start to appreciate. still not too late I hope?

I'm stressed

I think my mind is going to explode with all the thoughts in it.
another reason to the explosion is the overflowing amount of academic data.

I need good food, good rest.
I bloodily need to calm myself down.
I want to be honest, direct and simplified.

there are ten thousand reasons I can whine and cry over.
yet I tell myself one same old reason, that I must be strong.
I cry in front of nobody and that is when I know I need to be stronger.

YES. I'm stressed. :(

Smile!

The girl in the picture is NOT ME (why queen)

simple words and actions can make someone smile. last time I used to live in this dream of trying to put a smile on people's face. after which I realized it is not quite possible because everyone of us are so complicated nowadays. the society has taught me that there can be many kinds of meaning hidden behind the smile on the face. all thanks to the cruelty of mankind.

I yearn for a chance to wear expression as I like. to show what I feel, speak of what I think and act what I think is right. I wish for a chance where I can openly express some words deep within my heart. I hope for an opportunity to ignore awkwardness and embrace honesty.

albeit I know it is not quite possible.

心里住着一个人

三年前第一次遇见你。
相隔一年，今年又和你同班了。

虽然不能说得上是很要好的朋友，却很高兴今年终于认识了你。
很想对你说，你在我心中是个很特别的人，尽管毕了业我都会记住你。
但最后我还是选择不说。
理由我自己也说不清楚，只知道心中有一种恐惧。
不是怕被拒绝那么简单；也许是怕输不起，怕伤害到自己。
我相信缘分，所以若干年后或许我们又会再相遇。
到那个时候，再看天时地利人和咯~

真的，再一次努力和彻底放弃只有一线间的距离。
可是我不努力，并不代表我放弃。

Vulnerable

'I'm extremely vulnerable when I'm sick, especially with exams coming up.'

nowadays with stress level rising, I become more and more glass-like. catalyzed with the flu virus that I have got from my best friend, it just made me feel worst. but I had to keep myself up and running for this last week of lessons. what more, I have to continue the revision marathon so that 13 days later I can rest well without any regrets and trying not to repeat my mistakes.

times like that, when I feel weak and vulnerable, I wish there is just someone that I can lean on whom I can borrow some strength. on many separate occasions I tend to be very good at consoling weak souls. but when tears roll down my cheeks, I hide my face so well that nobody knows.

I hope that you can be the one that protects me from the storm.

food. camera. darling! :)

I think its about 8 months since I last had a meal with darling June.
it was a good meal that day and I totally loved that 4 hours.
I wish we had more time. :)

venue: Full House at NZX, Ara Damansara

MonEX and me

Beginning of this year, a group of returning exchange students started a club in the Malaysian campus called MonEX. With the intention of helping exchange students iron out difficulties faced in their exchange experience, I joined the committee hoping to provide relevant knowledge and share related information to fellow campus-mates.

Initially holding the position of a sponsorships officer, I was then promoted to Vice President in semester 2. Due to past experience, it is not easy for me to hold a balance between club and academic responsibilities. Commitments, to me, are way beyond roles and responsibilities. It is because of my passion to serve which took me this far. Just that part in me telling myself that I should make something out of my course.

15th October 2009 is the day I step down from the committee position. To be honest, I am relieved to be out of this mess. It was a tough period for me, just to juggle between academic, family, friends and club. The part about trying to strike a balance has taught me about learning from mistakes once again. Thanks to myself, I have revisited failure once again.

Despite how MonEX changed my life, I enjoyed working in the committee. Not all the activities went on well, most of it with extremely low response, but all of it provided me with the opportunity to learn a new thing or two. Being a management student, I would say this club has given me the chance experience how hard managing people is. I am not good as a leader, not even at a passable grade.

I would like to thank the people that I had worked with for the pass year, thanks for enriching my life as a team player. Learning has been pleasant with this whole team and of course, thanks for all the memories. Good and bad, I hope we will remember this whole experience.

Although I hated the club for screwing me up, I still appreciate its existence and will like to appeal to all for continuing your/his/her/their efforts in maintaining the club. :)

Take me anywhere

it is mid-semester this week, the suppose-to-be one week break from study.

at first I really wanted a break, to go somewhere with a few friends just to chill for a few days. but this idea vanished the minute I saw my exams timetable. this semester was an improved one from the last, but everything ends within one week (ie. 7 days). it starts on the 30th october and ends on the 6th november. literally implying that I have to finish studying all 4 units at once AGAIN.

so at 40 days before exam ends I made the promise to myself that this time round I will not slack away all my time. I have to prepare adequately for my papers so that my mind will not blank out in the exam hall. I even happily made statements whereby I will go to the library everyday during the holidays from 10 to 10 just to study (like how I prepared for my exams in Caulfield library). but nothing happened.

today is thursday, meaning I have 3 more days of holiday before school officially reopens and my hectic schedule starts to roll on real fast. for the past few days life has been generally relaxing, with a little bit of work done not here not there not anywhere. the remaining days are packed which means no study job can be done over the weekend. and yes this is very BAD SHAPE because I have not prepared even a BIT for my papers and exams coming very soon.

I know I am too early whining about this crap schedule. the stress is bound to mount very soon and I presume I will have more rants. I need a break, take me anywhere... for a break, please?

oops!

my last post was on the 9th of september 2009 - 090909.

this just shows how long has it been since I'm ALIVE.

yes, alive and breathing; brain trying to function properly.

so what's missing so far? ... ... ...

13/09/09

I went to royal selangor pewter factory AGAIN.
yes I have been there last semester...
but because its a club activity, so have to oversee it.

enjoyed that day much because I was out with my D60. :)

then the week was hectic, with bank negara trip organised by MBFC on wednesday and a presentation on thursday. the week ended with dance class and then shopping to grab a dress for ball. the long weekend was a tiring one, because half the time I was chasing little kids around my house :P

21/09/09

happy 21st to miss tan jiarou~

all the best in everything you do darling!
fast fast come back then we go sing k! :)

23/09/09

MonEX free food event for this semester - 'Eat!'

albeit the miscommunication incident,
it was a good show put up by the whole committee.
cheers to everyone!

then it was the hard part. I worked on 2 assignment consecutively and went sleepless for days. this had made me look so different with all the dark circles and the lack of concentration. I don't know exactly what made me survive but I'm awfully glad that I survived. :)

of course, this week ended quite nicely. it was Monash Ball 2009 - 'VOGUE'.
shall update about this in the next post, with the photos and stuff. XD

Happy birthday to Miss Goh Sea Win

happy birthday darling! :)

hope you are enjoying all the celebrations.

see you soon k?!

*loves*

Happy birthday to Miss Mak Mae Gyin

happy birthday darling! :)

a special day for a special person.

miss you much much! XD

Alone

today is a long day. had breakfast with my mum and aunty. came late for treasury lecture. stayed back for project management discussion. planned to stay in the library from 1400 all the way to 1930 to work on assignments and perhaps revise on mid-semester. 1930 will be the start of talent night which is the event that I am waiting for the whole day for. I presume dinner will only be after the show and lunch is nowhere in my schedule.

not that I want to skip meals because I am on diet or something. sometimes I just tend to skip meals because I do not like to dine alone. usually I will look for friends to eat with me. but as friends get attached and so on, I am gradually left alone. not complaining though, I reckon that is life and everybody moves at a different pace. furthermore I feel weird if I just catch any tom dick harry to eat with me because I am not close with any of them. hence I just skip the meal.

tonight I will have to eat dinner alone, at least that is the plan for now. and all of a sudden it makes me feel sad because I just did not manage to grab anyone to dine with me. my best friend is having lecture and I am left alone. :(

expanding from the topic, I realise that I kind of have to attend graduation alone because of some stupid mistake of mine. I dare not imagine how it will feel like next year and I am absolutely pissed off by the fact that my graduation will only be in november. ok, blame myself for the loneliness. haih. T.T

Cars

there are just way too many cars in malaysia. no matter petrol is at RM2.70 or RM1.80 or RM2.00 there are still a lot of cars. it is very cheap to get a car on-the-road and hence people just buy only lah~ but nobody has ever considered car pooling on a daily basis. excuses like different timings and hard to coordinate and time wasted in waiting are used. but none of them ever thought that with the increasing amount of cars on the road, there will be more time spent in traffic jam and more money spent on pumping petrol.

I myself drive to campus everyday, alone. I feel bad about it because I am wasting resources. but I don't know who in my area studies in the same university as me and hence that lessens my guilt. however I wouldn't mind if somebody car pools with me. that will mean I do not need to drive to uni everyday. it also lessens the possibility of accident happening because of reckless driving due to inadequate sleep. so the cycle goes~

another issue about cars - parking spaces. there are just not enough parking places in uni, a place that I go to 4 days in a week and yet the whole paid parking area is full by 10am. this problem has existed since the day our uni moved campus. yet they have the resources to built all the signboards and a useless pick-up drop-off point and not save some concrete to construct a multi-level parking. and they charge us a lot of tuition fees.

at the end of the day, I need to come to uni before 9am just to get a reasonably good parking. even at 11am, I can be denied from entering the PAID parking. needless to say on the FREE parking area right?

喜欢一个人

很喜欢很喜欢一个人的时候...

不管发生任何危险，我都会站在她前面替她挡.

不管多难实现的愿望，我都会当她的阿拉丁神灯替她实现.

只要看她笑我就会开心，看她哭我就会难过.

如果她受伤，我会气我自己没有把她保护好.

当她不在我身边的时候，我会担心她现在是不是安全.

当我失去她的时候，我一定会很难过、很无助.

希望我能永远保护她，照顾她、直到她发现我一直守在她身边.

...《斗牛要不要》金子聪

***

我是一个很容易被童话感动的女生，但我从不相信童话。

我相信爱情的美，因为我知道在有人守护之前，我必须保护我自己。

H1N1?

sad to say this, but I am sick again.

I was sick in the midst of rushing assignment last semester and I thought it was swine flu. I went to the doctor, half-heartedly to seek medical attention, more of wanting to get a medical certificate so that I can apply for extension. that was roughly 3 months ago and that was also the time H1N1 was being introduced to the society.

now that I am down with the same symptoms as the flu last time (fever, sore throat, cough, running nose), I fear for the fact that I may be an unlucky one. situation did not get better since 3 months ago and 60+ people in this country died because of the flu. it was announced in the news that health ministry will take measures against those who did not exercise self-quarantine when diagnosed with the flu.

the possibility works out to be:

1. if I go to a doctor, there may be a chance that I am dismissed with a bagful of medications and adviced not to go public places. there may also be a chance where I contract the 'deadly' virus while attempting to seek medical attention because now you never know who is or is not a patient by their looks.
2. if I go to a pharmacy to get some flu medication and perhaps a mask, I might be labelled as one of those who refuse to report to authorities concerned regarding my condition. worse still, I might pass the virus on to some random walking stranger on the streets who is completely innocent.

the situation seemed to turn grey especially this time round I am considering if I should even appear in school or apply for another assignment extension. worse of all I do not want to skip classes this semester but I am so sick this time that I cannot concentrate at all even if I am sitting in the lecture hall. on top of that I survived on 2x500mg paracetamol and was more energetic instead of being drowsy as what is stated together in the prescription. took clarinase just now only to realise that the running nose is getting from worse to even worse, no signs of stopping at all!

ARGH!

The first time

it was for the first time in 3+ years that I knocked somebody else's car while driving.

I was on my way to campus, wanting to pass something on to my friend near the waiting area. then there was a nissan x-trail that parked beside the road. initially I thought I could have a slight clearing space on my right since the road was two-lanes. a perodua myvi just happened to dash pass on my right, causing me to knock my left side mirror towards the x-trail's right side mirror. it was then I realise how low a x-tail is and how flimsy the side mirror is. anyways the x-trail's mirror actually flew onto my windscreen and I swear it was damn drama, because the mirror casing did not fell out or anything. thinking that I may be at fault as well and the fact that the piece of mirror layed on my windscreen, I pulled over at the waiting area. then the x-trail driver, which was a girl slightly older than me, came down from the car to reason it out with me.

the first few statements that the girl bombarded me with, was 'your car doesn't have brake is it?' 'how come so many cars passed by and no other cars hit me apart from your car?' 'you don't know how to stop one ah?'. hearing those sentences I totally gave up the idea of apologizing. and given the rushing mood that I was in, I didn't really want to argue it out with her. so I passed the mirror to her and she tried to fix it herself, refusing to let me try fix it. I totally did not want or have the intention to leave her my number, mainly because her mirror could still adjust electronically and I believe if I held her any longer her car will be banged from the behind.

*** *** ***

throughout the reasoning, I merely told her that there was a car coming quite fast from my right and I could not avoid it thus causing the collision. even though I had another dozen of reasons proving that the fault does not only lie on me, I didn't bother to tell her. it was a waste of breathe trying to tell her something logic when all she knows is to ask me whether my car has brake or not. HAHA.

she parked her car with half the vehicle eating into the moving lane of the road and expect people not to bang into her. furthermore there was ample space for her to position her car nicely so as to prevent such things from happening. and she claimed that I could have stopped my vehicle, wait for the next lane to clear and carry on with my journey. when I was travelling on the slow-moving lane of the road and there are also cars behind me. HAHA.

monash actually built a pick-up and drop-off lane, put cones at the area to prevent cars from going there. reason being they do not want people to park their cars at the area. people from sunway campus can be really ridiculous. there are ample parking spaces (free and pay-parking) and yet people want to park their car at some illegal places, just to save walking a distance of 50m and to save the RM2 parking fees. HAHA.

the best part of the day is, my side mirror still looks in position, with minor (very very minor) scratch on the paint. HAHAHA.

more and more crazy drivers on the road now.

x-trail girl: don't think that you can get your way as long as you talk LOUDER.

烦!

回想起2008的一些快乐回忆，想念~
人生中有许多许多的变化。去年的一切已经过去了，再也回不去了！
偶尔还是很想重温那舒服的感觉，但不论怎么找也找不回。

最近遇到了很多难题，突然间一切变得很乱，很复杂。
好烦，明明就没有那美国时间去为这些事情烦恼嘛~
唉...

Re-defining

there were once I thought I will forget how to wear a smile on my face because certain changes took place in my life. time went pass and I ended up still smiling quite happily. what I thought was going to become did not turn out to be the case. however once again I am at a point of time where I try hard to re-define my life, pondering upon some situations where decision has to be made and actions to be taken.

situations keep popping by my life, thinking that messing it up would do me good. there are situations where I take control, is able to decide on what I am doing and how I will do it. for those that are purely disintegrating my life, its time where I just scrap these out from the way and make sure they stop eating up those unnecessary focuses.

I use to say that 'I will not let you go if I had a chance to hold you tight'. what if now I am tired and do not want to hold on anymore? re-defining those components and scrap off the tiredness. make life a better one! :)

A-E-C-D

Awareness -> Exploration -> Commitment -> Dissolution
this is a common theory being practised in marketing, at least according to my lecturer today. he used the example of boy-girl relationship to illustrate how businesses establish relationship with their customer. a simple 4-stage theory that involves different levels of intensity at different stages.

starting from creating awareness, girls tend to doll themselves and make sure they are at their best image in front of guys(in general). when a guy is 'targeted', the girl then tries to attract the appropriate attention. exploration is a process of understanding and getting to know each other better. this is usually a period of time where friendship starts to build and information start being passed on. thru this sharing of information it is then up to each person to judge if the relationship should be carried through to the next stage.

commitment starts when both parties decide to give one another an opportunity. the level of intensity within the relationship peaks at this stage, signifying the increased interaction of both parties at this stage. commitment is a big word indeed and it requires a huge amount of thinking before actually proceeding on. for the positive cases the relationship is always remained in this stage, never to the dissolution stage where people just walks off leaving their position in the relationship.

***
some people uses a bottle of fresh milk to describe boy-girl relationship. when freshly placed in the refrigerator, it is always captivating and holds its own charm. when opened to consume, the goodness and greatness is tasted while the beneficial elements get absorb into the body system. some bottles of milk are left unopened on the shelves till pass the expiration date and turned sour. well, these bottles were given an opportunity before, just that it did not serve its purpose properly.

from my point of view, I think that relationships are meant to be treasured. no matter the business relationship, friendship, boy-girl relationship, family relationship or just mere acquaintance is a blessing to me in life. of course, talking about maintaining the relationship will refer to the form of trust. after establishing a relationship to the commitment stage, it is very much of our own decision whether to label it 'happily ever after' or 'ok, thanks, bye'.

creating and maintaining relationships with any other person.
it takes time, dedication and the HEART. <3

Change

last semester I took a unit that's called organisational change and development. albeit not scoring HD for that unit, I learned about change from the organisational point of view. and yes, with change comes development, an organisation constantly undergoes dynamic changes in its external environment which causes development within the internal environment. another chicken and egg situation eh~

certain major changes just took place in my life. like the way how I face failures - revisited. I know my mistake and I admit to statements pointing out that 'I brought this upon myself'. people has been showing their concern, trying to point out what they see from their point of view and hoping that I can avoid commiting the same mistake again. thank you for your kind attention on the trying-to-be-transparent me. good advices hardly please the hearing, that's quoting the chinese saying, but I will exercise my EQ so as to try entering those advices into my operating system.

this coming semester is not going to be my last, sad to say, but is definately going to be a better one. I am going to finish my management major with international management and project management for SMEs. it is back to those assignments at week 5 and 10 days, back to those sitting alone during lecture days, returning to the 40% weightage of final exam marks. furthermore it is back to homeland where department of management functions rather differently (try reading between the lines :P).

tml is going to be my first lecture for the semester! look forward to an interesting e-business lecture and I hope I will not have to look for another elective by the end of this week. :P

New Semester

today marks the start of Semester 2, 2009.

a lot of things happened during the past few weeks. shall list them down one by one...
first and foremost, I had a surgery which cured the sweaty palm problem that I had been facing for years. then I went back home and kept my mummy accompanied. went over to singapore and met up with yingxu, zhoujing and audrey. went to sing k with a lot of college friends (kwee, ruijing, zhixian, boonlong, aaron, yiki). came back to kl one week prior to commencement of lesson, to help out in the orientation for july intakes. ipoh trip to visit my aunties and most importantly my great-grandma. meeting up with friends back from melbourne.

of all things that happened, my mood was badly affected by results. I would say it was worse than anything expected. now that I have fell quite hard, I will have to get up in time and also learn from my mistakes. worry nots, I will be strong and will not let such mistakes repeat itself. most importantly, I believe this mistake will only make me a better person!

hope this post sums up the updates throughout the missing period. photos to be up soon.
happy school reopen anyway! :)

Back in JB

currently back in JB for approx 10 days.
anything, message me.

happy holidays! XD

to be updated when I return to KL on the 9th July.

Happy PAPA day!

today is a good day. not so good for my dad because he just went back to JB yesterday and he needs to work on father's day. it is a good day because today it reminds me how my dad showered love onto me and made me a happy girl in the 20 years of my life and I am just being treasured like the most precious thing that he has got in his hands now.

apart from wishing him 'happy father's day!' I would also like to make several wishes for him. I hope that he can live his life as happy as everyday and get to eat all the food that he wants everyday and be healthy everyday and do things the way he wants everyday. I also want him to feel proud of having me as a daughter and not to worry so much about me and know that I am good and leading a great life.

in all, I love my papa, very VERY MUCH.

thank you for everything and I will continue to thank you for the many many years to come!
*loves and HUGS!*

Rest

it has been 3 days since I ended my exams. I haven't been recovering from that ONE sleepless night before my last paper. hence these days I still look like a zombie. I don't really understand why this particular night had such a great impact on me when I had many sleepless nights doing assignments before. one thing for sure, my brain is now depleted with the good quality brain juice and I need to replenish them soon enough before I turn retarded.

allow me to do a quick recap, within 75 hours 4 papers ended (law, lending, IBF, investment). I swear most of the time I was not thinking properly in the exam hall, fighting hard to stop myself from falling asleep. yes, and together with the 75 hours also marked the end of my 8 hardcore studying and mugging days. I hate it when I realize that I used to have 13 weeks to study for things covered within these 8 days yet I just wasted it on other things and did no study job at all.

its like every semester I tell myself to start studying earlier and not wait till the last minute but I just don't practise it and every semester never fail I freak out at the end and this semester a screwed up timetable was just right there to mess up everything. so here I am trying to tell myself next semester I am going to start studying early and not freak out last minute. I HOPE I CAN DO SO~ :P

I should just go and rest well and stop whining. HAH.

28 hours

within 28 hours, I sat for 3 papers of mine.
it was totally not easy, as expected.
but to me, its not only about accomplishment, its achievement!
ok, not referring to the content part, just the fact that I sat through all 3 papers.

if you ask me what, I don't think there's a single conclusive description.
basically the whole time in the exam hall was star gazing and my mind was BLANK.
so I have no simplest idea what the outcomes are going to be like for all the papers.
honestly speaking, not studying throughout the semester is one of my regrets.
cramming through all the stuff within one week is proven IMPOSSIBLE for me.
having such lousy timetable did not help in any sense too.
so apart from being determined enough to try my best for exams this time round,
I THINK I AM QUITE SCREWED.

I have one last paper on thursday and then the semester will be concluded.
my mind is not functioning well so BLESS me for this last paper which I know nothing of.
good luck to all of you out there!

Just do it!

hello all.

finals are up on the 15th onwards. its 7th of june now
which means effectively speaking I have about a week
for all my preparations. all the papers will end within
one week and I will taste the sweetness of liberty
on the 18th of june (its also June's birthday!).

its a period of business plus 'just do it!' times where
I need to study to the most hardcore extreme. all thanks
to the crap exam timetable that I have which stacks all
4 papers together. honestly speaking it is not easy and
stress level is just high for these whole period of time.

good luck to everybody having finals within the next few
weeks and may everyone be productive in their revision.
it takes only a month or so to be living such sadistic life
every semester. stand strong people! jiayou jiayou!

you only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough!
this is one of my favourite quote when in hard times.
hope it provides the same emotional support to all of you
who are currently reading this post.

cheers! *loves*

Lucky

it is a whole period of stress and pressure.
even though I found a way to relieve part of my stress (by watching show)...
there are times where I feel weak and helpless too.

this song is from Boys Over Flowers' OST.

it struck me the first few times hearing it in the show.
eventually when I listened to the OST it just made me feel the warmness.
instead of those romantic love love scenes from the show, something else got into my mind.
this song is entitled 'lucky', it is sung by a singer called ashily.
just like the name, it made me think of how lucky I am to know friends around me. :)




I miss you guys and I love you always. now and forever.
there are still a lot that I never put their picture here.
sorry for that but I just want you guys to know I feel loved knowing you!

꽃보다 남자

ok, I'm watching this series now. despite the fact that exams are SO nearby. ya, exams are going to end within 3 weeks, yet I'm spending time off studies watching show. its not like this is very very bad shape la, hang also need to breathe (吊颈都要透气）ma... anyway the best part is, I am so into this show that I'm listening to its OST at least 5 times a day. its that GOOD! :)

not going to like make this a movie review here. haha. suddenly felt like learning saxaphone, mainly because in one of the episodes there's this potter by the name of YiJung played saxaphone. and that very part melted me :) I think its really sweet to watch that part. its also very very sweet to watch the whole show, as it brought me back to those 'meteor garden' days when girls go gaga over F4. HAHA. I used to like them a lot too!

this show gives me the 'first love' kind of feeling. haha. its really worth watching despite the exam stress mounting every second. :P

shall head back to books now! *retreats*

Something, somewhere.

last time in secondary school, I used to visit the popular outlet whenever I felt sad.
as a result I collected these... over a few years, the collection just turned out to be these much.
they are all 'standing' on my desk right now, looking smart and happy!
another reason why I love them so much is because some of them are only available somewhere.



in this world, there are always the special something that are worth searching for.

have you tried driving to somewhere far for some good food that is really tasty?
like driving to penang for cendol, ipoh for chicken+beansprouts;
or going to hong kong for dim sum, beijing for roasted duck.
good food always make people run around the globe searching for them.
just because these food are worth the trouble, satisfying to the tastebuds.

soul mates, do you believe in them?
do you believe that somewhere on planet earth there's someone you ought to search for?
constantly searching for someone, standing by a spot waiting to be found.
when you have found the one, treasure him/her.
if you are being found, make him/her feel that you are worth his/her efforts.

so often you find it hard to tell if the person/thing is the special one, the special something.
the criteria is hard to set, not easy to follow suit.
for we are human, normal homo sapien that are easily influenced by environmental factors.
it would be easy if we can find something like a traffic light.
green for go, red for stop.
yellow always leaves a zone for confusion, but it does not light up for a long time.

so if you happen to be within the yellow zone, settle your thoughts quick and make your move.
even with traffic light there can be accidents.
but if you stay still and just look at others pass, you will be going nowhere.

On time

last night I was rushing through my lending thesis.
and I managed to print it out by 3am, which was a break thru for me.
good job for being able to sleep for the night, bad job done for the assignment.
I have to admit, this is one of the most nonsensical assignment ever done.
*no eye see assignment anymore*

despite the fact that I permitted myself to go sleep by 3am, I wasn't able to.
lying on the bed just not able to go to dreamland. its annoying.
ended up watching show till 5am, causing only 3 hours of sleep for the night.

it doesn't feel good knowing that people are putting tonnes of efforts in their assignment.
mine seems to be like a checklist for others, with the points but not elaboration.
that is, if all my points are correct. if not, tataa assignment.
I know I haven't done my very very best. but I just couldn't be bothered.

I am tired, yet I cannot rest.
for there is one more assignment to go, exams following.
*sigh*

Mr. Right

戴爱玲- 对的人

你問在我心中 是否還苦惱
那次受傷 否決了愛的好
謝謝你的關照 我一切都好
一個人 不算困擾

那次流過的淚 讓我學習到
如何祝福 如何轉身不要
在眼淚體會到 與自己擁抱
愛不是一種需要 是一種對照

愛雖然很美妙 卻不能為了寂寞
又陷了泥沼

愛要耐心等待 仔細尋找
感覺很重要
寧可空白了手 等候一次
真心的擁抱
我相信在(這個)世界上 一定會遇到
對的人出現(在眼角)

能願意為了一份愛付出去多少
然後得到多少並不計較
當我想清楚的時候
我就算已經準備好
放手去愛 海闊天高
喔~~~ ~~~ ~~~ 耶~~~

***
很感人的一首歌。超有意义的，因为我相信每一个人都会遇到属于他们的另一半。
那一个对的人，会相信你，接受你，包容你，疼爱你，呵护你；
会因为遇见你而觉得幸福，会因为和你在一起而觉得快乐。
或许我看的偶像剧太多，我依然相信对的人会让你觉得一切都是值得的。
‘没有人值得你为他流眼泪，值得的那一个不会让你哭’ :)

刚看完《时尚玩家-兰卡威的蜜月之旅》。
被节目内容吸引到，好像和一个对的人到那儿享受享受。
可惜那个人还没有出现，嗨~

食饱卖包 (eat full sell bun)

adults are funny. especially when a relatively huge group meets up and express their opinions on creating a better community. on one hand, they are plain gossiping. to another extreme, they are talking about politics. the best part is, they all seem to think that they are doing work in one way or another but they never admit themselves wasting time and efforts. and they never find their own faults.

one of the most 'wonderful' thing I did today was to attend the resident's meeting of my condominium. utterly waste of my time can. these adults, thinking that they are always right, wasted 30-45 minutes going through 3 tables within the slides and drilling into the most insignificant stuff of the management. I wonder if they really have so much free time to sit around for the long meeting or not, since I cabut-ed early. even my finance lecturer covers stock indexes in shorter time frame can~

communal living is not working in malaysia. it is just not going to work in the near future. a bit slightly asian-centered culture of ours will not abide by these so-called 'house rules' to the maximum one. but if there are only less than 5% of the people are not cooperative, must they waste the other 95%'s time in listening to what they are/will/have done to the 5%? and I would say, people are generally more concerened with figures and tables rather than anything else.

ok, I stay in a condo. coming from a terrace house, I noticed and experienced the difference between these 2 types of residences. I abide by the house rules of my condo 99% of the time. if I would have spent my time down there listening to these adults who thinks that they are right all the time and quarrelling for the lousiest reason ever, I am really annoyed then. its so childish for them to argue those open ended discussions hoping to find a conclusion when there are a whole truckload of discussions are in the line. WASTE TIME can~

bah~ bleah~
sleepy. I should just go and sleep and not care about what the adults do, since they don't find any faults within themselves. RAR!

Updates

the smart me mistaken the date due for Lending Decisions thesis. its on the 29th May instead of 22nd. so effectively speaking I have 2 assignments due a week next to each other and then exams. worse of all, I haven't really started working on anything yet.

***
amidst the busy academic agenda, I agreed for a part time job today. its paying RM6 per hour. I know its not BIG money but I just felt that I wanted to slack some of my time away yet not waste it off by doing nothing. so working and earning some money might be the best alternative (?!).

***
its cultural week for MonEX this monday, tuesday and wednesday. each day there will be different kind of food for sale over at the corridor right beside cafeteria. for the cultural experience side, there is an opportunity to expose yourself to chinese calligraphy that is FOC. alright, menu for the food items for sale are as follow:

monday: soya milk + 'you tiao'
tuesday: curry n bun + tomyam fried beehon + soya milk n grass jelly
wednesday: herbal egg + red bean soup + muruku

do come and support MonEX! *thank you*

Work done

I'm a little happy today. partly its because I have done some revision (even though not of significant amount in terms of the syllabus). I find it rather easy to set my study mood in the library nowadays, most probably because of the hardcore studying that I did last semester in Caulfield library. but its sad to find that libraries in Sunway closes in the afternoon.

weekend was rather well spent. with some studies being done and a good half of saturday spent at gardens + mid-valley. of course, the company matters as well! even though we didn't take any pictures, having this very special someone spending her day with me was memorable enough. and this very special girl turns out to be... ... ... *drum rolls*... ... ... su chin! :)

this semester has been so busy so far. I hardly have time for myself to chill at shopping centers. furthermore its rather hard to have girl outings now because everywhere is just so far and everybody is scattered everywhere. most importantly there is nothing like public transport which we can depend on to go everywhere. so most of the time I will just be in campus, pyramid and occasionally going somewhere else. aww... I miss melbourne! (as well as the people there!)

oh yar, eyed on two things during the shopping session today. just sharing them here~ :)


coach bag. madison, penelope and zoe. looks better in the shop than the website.

swatch watch. body n soul, steel n charm and pearly gloss. the first one is an automatic watch!

I survived

I survived the battle of assignments.

today was a day where I woke up at 2pm, watched series and movies, went to the gym, watched teevee and did no academic-related work at all. ok I wished everyday can be like that but apparently this might be the one last day I'm allowed to procrastinate within the next month or so.

sadly speaking, I'll count down to June's birthday on the 18th of june to officially taste the sweetness of liberty. this is worse that O-levels because I have assignments due prior to exams. furthermore my papers are so crammed that I don't know which to study first. :(

I have a lending thesis due next friday, investment report due I-don't-know-when.
Exams date are like s***. 4 papers within 3 exam days, 4 calender days.
will I survive then?!

想你

人与人之间的相遇，
证明了老天爷的安排，
不论多九没联络，
只要内心存着彼此的一片天空，
有空偶尔一声问候，
那就会带来开心的一笑。

朋友刚传了三封一样的简讯给我。
突然好想你...

David's 21st!

celebrated at mont kiara, d'empire brasserie.
good restaurant, good food, good ambiance.
*ok, I'll do a restaurant review some time later...*

MAIN POINT of this post is... *drum rolls*

HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY david!

I hope that the child within you stays forever young and may we all live long enough to celebrate more and more and more birthdays to come and next time meet up with each other after work and have multiple dates and attend each others' wedding and celebrate birthdays for each others' kids and grandchildren!

have a great day, week, semester, year, life! =D

Happy MAMA day!

Happy mother's day mummy!
thank you for everything you've done for me. :)

Curse of the bloody assignments

ok, its week 8/9 now. everybody is sooo busy with their respective assignments.

I'm not complaining, just trying to express my grievances because I am sick and is rushing for 2 assignments due on monday. furthermore my mind is almost blank and I attempted applying for extension but the lecturer just told me off by saying, 'this assignment was given to you all since the start of the semester. you shouldn't be rushing it off now.'

okay thank you.

so at the end of the day I haven't got any extension which makes me a bit panicky because I'm on medication and I don't have the focus or concentration to complete my work. and date due is on monday, meaning that I am quite screwed. I told myself to make it through this weekend and I will be done for these two units' assignment. I tried to believe in myself, still believing...

Sick again?!

this semester has been one of the busiest ones. I am now working on two assignments due next monday (and it happens to be on david's 21st birthday!) and yet I fell sick! *pengsan* with the H1N1 A influenza spreading across the globe, I am actually worried about the sore throat and cough symptoms that are surfacing over the past few days. and this worry part has caused insomnia together with unproductive-ness within me. this makes me think that I am just wasting time away not working on assignments not sleeping but just doing nothing. ok, bad shape~

getting weaker and weaker as semesters zoom past. I start to wonder how did I survive last year without all the 'ho yan hor' tea and those funny-looking chinese herbs. I ought to go to the pharmacy to grab some antibiotic to boost my immune system. and at the same time I NEED SOME ENERGY AND CONCENTRATION ON MY ASSIGNMENTS! like oh my goodness, cannot sleep then cannot do work also. waste of my time man~

kind of busy these weeks, with the assessment period starting in may and exams coming up right next. do look forward to 18th of june and I foresee myself looking like a zombie till then~ ok, pray hard for the best this semester. *prayyyy...*

Warehouse sales

over this labour day weekend every commodity seem to be getting cheap. either it is responding to government's effort to boost spending or sales has been so bad that every season so much are left unsold that they have to do such bulk sale. whatever it is the only statement made across to the public is that things are cheap and we are to shop more at warehouses instead of boutiques/brands' outlets.

being a typical girl I am, shopping has never exited my to-do list. I ended up spending half my day on a public holiday going to 3 warehouse sales when I planned to spend my time working on my assignments. ZARA, MPH and Adidas. all within PJ area and since my cousin ajak-ed me along, I went ahead and splurge on myself with some 'very good deals'. 6 tops, 1 book, 1 backpack, 3 belts concluded my day.

there is this particular sales that I went which totally shocked me. I was there half an hour before the opening and there were actually a 1km-queue in front of the shop. waited and waited, just to enter this hall that is almost 3 tutorial rooms with clothes scattered everywhere. even the floor clothes are found lying everywhere and people just ignored them despite almost tripping over them. that was the extreme extend of the crowd. luckily I got stuff from the sales, if not it would have been a complete waste of my time going through the long queue and almost suffocating in the tiny place.

now that I have new additions to my room, the assignment marathon continues! *sigh.*

余情未了？

这个星期天，华丽台将播出‘志云饭局’之‘庾静未了’。

预告片里，伊能静说了一句很有深度的话。
‘我付出过，牺牲佐，亦都承担着最后的结果。’

可见结局是怎样不大重要，只要过程当中俩人真的有一同经历过就无悔了。
有时候结局真的不是重点，能够创造这么多共同拥有的回忆，就算最后什么都没有也罢。
最起码回忆可以一直停留在脑海里。

做出努力了吗？牺牲了什么？在承担着什么？
也许不只是儿女私情这一样罢了。

I choose to believe

watched threads of destiny today.
haha. personally I think this show is over-rated.
but anyhow, just to share some thoughts of mine over this movie.

***
do you believe in fate?
I do, for I am a simple person that believes in simple things which can bring about happiness.

but what is fate?
the coincidences that you and me happen to share,
appearing at the same places at the same timings,
talking about the same stuffs to the same people,
sharing same thoughts without knowing about each other.

even if all those coincidences are called fate, I believe one party still has to take the initiatives.
to start a conversation, to try his/her chances, to see if this fate can be 'worked' on.
of course, fate is not the only thing that brings two hearts together.
unpredictable factors sometimes control our lives more than everything.
there are helpless moments, no-choice situations.
but I believe, with or without fate, we will be strong to walk on.
just that... perhaps having someone to walk beside us makes the journey a smoother path?

相信

一生人會遇到30000 人，

能成為同學或同事的有3000人，
能成為朋友的有300人，
能成為命中注定的那位，就只有1位…

***

迟些会有一套戏叫‘366天的约定’即将上映。

Unconscious

I haven't been having good sleeps ever since I-don't-know-when.
there are nights whereby of the 6 hours sleep I woke up 6 times.
sometimes I force myself to sleep by switching on the air-con and hiding in the comforter.
of course, once in a while I get so knocked off after the day's activity and just fall sound asleep.

today I was just feeling a little tired.
I lied on my bed, closed my eyes and kept myself calm.
there's this water sound coming from the little aquarium in the living room.
I listened, because my room door was wide open, then I didn't know exactly what happened.
hours later, I woke up because of a phone call. [ok la, 1+ hours of afternoon nap only...]
I answered the call, responding to questions and speaking understandable terms.
but I couldn't remember what I talked about, it felt like a dream.
stared at the clock realising how long a nap I took, I was shocked.

it totally didn't feel like an hour. it felt like 5 or 10 minutes. either that or I'm just unconscious.

Tenji Japanese Buffet

'starved' myself for the day because kor kor wanted to have a shogun dinner. we actually drove down to 1u then patah balik because it costs RM58++ for a dinner on a random weekday like this. so we decided to settle in Tenji at Solaris@mont kiara, grabbing that sounds-so-wonderful supper deal which costs RM39.90++ from 930pm-1230pm.

food was not bad I would say, barely meeting the average standards and not meeting our expectations. there were chinese dishes, western grills, chocolate fondue, tempura, sashimi, sushi, sukiyaki... it was more of an asian buffet than a japanese one. they even have thai pandan coconut served!

not a very bad cuisine but apparently being malaysians people just don't have the simplest idea of 'civilisation'. once we were in there, people just bombarded the buffet tables and started grabbing food as if they haven't been fed for the past 2 weeks. not exaggerating here, kor was actually helping himself to sashimi when this old lady (probably 60s) cutting the queue and just taking food as if she owns the restaurant.

and the night was still so young. we were seated next to this table with a man and a lady. I simply refuse to call them a couple because the man was... OMG. maybe he's starting to face mid-life crisis or something and is trying to show the 'smart' side of him in front of this lady. their conversation was dominated by the man and the content made me and kor laughed so hard that we didn't pay attention to the food.

'after latte came out, I stopped drinking cappuccino.'
I swear this was the most hilarious statement I've heard over this whole supper session can~ not that we wanted to eavesdrop but he was making this statement so loudly that I think even the loudhailer is softer than his voice. somehow I pity this lady a lot because she just had to agree with whatever he said and nodded her head. then off and on I was able to catch words like 'daily transactions of XXX thousands' and 'we high end people'. oh ya, another funny statement: 'hagen daz ice cream is the second class type'. tell me about a first class ice cream man~

end of story. mood and appetite got slightly affected because of this man and his hilarious conversation. the buffet added up to RM53.10 because the 10% 5% are calculated based on the original price of RM88. what a supper experience indeed~

i *heart* you!

thank you darling for giving this bear to me on my birthday! it is right beside my pillow on my bed, so I wake up looking at it in the morning and its the last thing I look at before I close my eyes and wander off to lala-land. feels like you are right by my side and I am loving that feeling!

I miss you darling! and I know you love me XD

nighting!

--- this event has no link to Monash University or MonEX ---

finally the night is here!
despite the rants and puke-blood effort, I have enjoyed the event very much.
first time working together and we have successfully overcame problems,
went through ups and downs for the past few weeks together as a team.
good job ben, william, waileong and wyquin!

NYCB - the passion lives on

went to blogsurf and suddenly was reminded of SYF central judging this year.
actually the blog that I went to was playing 'El Camino Real' in the background.

koop-ed the above design from a junior's blog. a very very nice design. I doubt any of the juniors come to this blog, but for other NYCB-ians that happen to pass by here, I think this is the new band tee design. apart from the usual instrument and section names, this design even has 'I recommend' and 'Appassionata' inside. of course, the band uniform within the design looks good too!

jiayou NYCB for SYF this year!
we are the music while the music lasts!!!
and those memories comes back all over again.
this feeling cannot be found elsewhere except with NYCB.

Earth hour.

have you done your part?
did you switch off your lights?

I did switch off the lights and fan in my house.
but I went to the balcony lighting up candles and I didn't switch off my labtop in my room.
oops. forgotten all about it till I went into my room after the hour. haha.