Feeling empty and useless...

sometimes I really wonder if anybody can live in the world without any friends. I know I can't. I will just kill myself if I need to live by myself. what about you?

life is boring in JB. maybe because I no longer have anymore friends here. they all go to schools in JB. and they are all in the same education system. even if you are in chinese school, at least there are still this whole bunch of you together. what about me? I have nobody with me and I go through a different education system. Everything is so different, we no longer talk about the same things. and we will never be able to talk about the same things... wtf...

why the hell did I choose to go study outside leh? I don't know... I chose it myself, and at first I thought everything would be alright... until... and now, I start to look back... then I think and think and think... think so hard for what? I don't know again... aiya, maybe this is how I work larh... choose something then go and look back and regret... what a stupid thing to do right?

now listening to rainie's song... think actually she quite cute... maybe because she's the lead in devil beside you (e mo zai shen bian)... yar, then together with he jun xiang... oh, by the way, he is very shuai!!! yar, and I think that show is nicer than wang zi, coz very complicated storyline... even though not a lot of shuai ge like wang zi...

nowadays arh, watch a lot of shows... the rainbow connection (wu chu cai hong) very interesting. and I think that wang jian yi very qian bian. coz he chose xiaoqian! aiyo, he rubbish larh, torture yoyo until like that. but come to think of it arh, who will like people like yoyo larh, she's so arrogant and stubborn.

back to my life at home. now everyday only got my family members pei wo. so boring. how I wished for some friends to go out with me. but again, I have no friends here anymore. even those that were once close to me are no longer close. you know, the kind that just drifts apart once you don't remain in contact.

went to some kopitiam that day. realise that its anna's mother's shop. haha, the food and coffee there very very nice. and the bread there very nice also. nowadays got a lot of kopitiams around my place. nxt time if any of you come to JB must tell me, then I bring you all there.

hrm, tml is appassionata 9. all the best for you all. I don't think I have a right to go back already. coz I failed badly as a band mate and a senior. I am truly sorry. but I will miss you all. don't know larh, going back somehow is a very awkward thing to do. coz not as if I have contributed a lot to the band. and honestly I don't deserve the respect. yar, sorry!

kae larh, this post I think should be the last post for the time being. coz I am flying off to italy on saturday. elaine, I am going to meet your boyfriend larh, you don't be angry hor! haha, I will try to buy things back, provided the things are not to expensive there. I hope that it is not, then maybe all of you will get.

erm, must go and pack le! if not my mum will start her scoldings again. haha, all the best in everything you do! tataa!

haha...kae larh, yesterday very busy, so never come and blog.

haha, busy doing what leh? haha, busy shopping. bought not much stuff larh, but quite tiring leh, coz only my mother buy stuff. whoa, tell you all arh, the SK-II thingy is so ex lorh, my mother actually spend quite a huge sum on it. then got shopping voucher, so helped her spend everything, if not she will just let it expire and throw it away, then she will complain to me saying that how we wasted all these vouchers. haha...

erm, a bit the high now. just had bittergourd soup for lunch. so nice!!! hee, I think this is the most enjoyable thing to do at home. at least can eat and eat... haha, sin so much. aiya, later become pig next time. haha, think now I pig already larh. maybe next time I piggier. haha...

hrm, now downloading music. haha, very long time never do so already. aiya, now no time to do cards for the juniors. don't know why I so busy nowadays leh. busy sleeping and pei-ing my family. haha, feel so xing fu, but at the same time feel farnie. coz nowadays cannot read stuff. feel as if I never study before.

talking about this arh, I feel so accomplished after Os. haha, coz at least I have been studying. Really. but somehow i very scared that once the results come out arh, I will have surprises here and there. honestly speaking arh, I have never studied so much in my whole and entire life before. yar, so now I sincerely hope that everything will be fine. not necessary must be distinctions, but at least what I think I deserve.

haha, so funny, now then talk about this a bit the late arh. hee, I tell you arh, one very very farnie thing happened. haha, my primary school friends actually asked me out for gathering leh. haha, so so so unexpected. hahaha, when i first heard about it arh, I didn't know what expression I was suppose to put on. coz this seem so wierd.

actually I also don't know larh. four years outside made me die from the JB society. for the past years I think nobody has ever remembered me down here. maybe I am really that kind of serious person, i don't know, but I don't feel so. its just that in primary school that time like no close friend like that. and thus I left my primary school very happily, looking forward to my interesting ny life. haha...

now that secondary school life has ended, I start to wonder if the identity that I have been trying very hard to create for the past years will start to fade away or not. somehow I think that 10 years down the road I will be another nobody that nobody will care about. maybe like this coming primary school gathering like that, I am invited because it is a routine that they must contact everybody. how? I don't know what to expect, maybe I will be left out again. haiz...

kae larh, realise that this post is actually very crap de. haha, shall go and watch tv now. tataa!

heyhey! haha, this feels wierd. yar, this is the third time that I am blogging today.

erm, shall make this really short larh, just want to tell the banders that i am planning to pop by one of the band pracs. yar, so please do not slack. haha, this is oly applicable to my section, coz I don't want to see my section suffer during concert. yar, and this is very important. haha...

anyway, want to reply some of you tags.

nameless: eh, I update a lot le leh. you leh? aiyo, a bit the what larh, you tag so long a go then now only I read. haha, but anyway, yar, paiseh lorh, I've been dead for the past few weeks marh. ya, take care and jiayou for concert! all the best! keep me updated wor...

nicq.: haha, y u rawr me? farnie person. anyway, enjoy your hols!

ivy the pig: ya lar, I sold the bag to karang guni le larh. haha, erm, going up to heaven arh, don't know leh, definately after you. don't know when I going larh, coz I was there last weekend. yar, see how larh, anyway our battle at uncle wong still haven't fight yet. haha... you become pig can le lorh. I don't want to learn from you, not worth it arh.

siewying: hey! haha, not so stagnant larh. eh, you must work hard for concert hor. I know you all will put up a good show. =) I have confidence in all of you.

sharon: hey! how are you? next time I go singapore we have lunch together, on me larh. haha, see how larh, very long time never chat with you already. kae larh, keep in contact! smile always!

kae, finish le! tataa!

yay! I am back.

just ate my lunch and took my bath. somehow my mum is angry at me right now. don't know what have I done wrong, but somehow she just very bu shuang to see me slack around with the labtop. haha, but she cannot do anything, because I finished my Os!

haha, yar, so shall continue on what I have done during the weekend after my Os.

on Sunday arh, at first wanted to wake up at 10am one. then somehow I slept till 11 plus. yar, till hooi called, then I woke up and began my life. haha, and then arh, when the 3 of us are ready arh, limae was still nowhere to be seen. she arh, don't know what to say about her larh. yar, just dolled herself up as if she was going to enter some beauty contest like that. joking larh, but still, I think she made us wait for approx 20 mins. yar, and lunch was suppose to be on her lorh!

haha, went to marina square. had carl's jr. let me tell you kae, the serving there is huge. yar, and so lunch was extremely filling and stuff. haha, but not say very ex larh, actually quite worth it leh. yar, so next time if broke and very hungry right, about 7 bucks then can go there le. haha...

shopped around that area also. didn't really buy stuff, coz our financial status was wonderful. yar, then we wanted to go town for neoprints. yar, walked to esplanade and realise that my parents were about to reach soon. then took a few shots by the bay, in front of the halls. after that all of us took my car back to the hostel. and my brother was driving. yar, so it was a very interesting journey, coz both hooi and limae got to be stuck in the back. haha, me and mich got to sit properly.

its only when we reached the hostel then we realise the fact that 4 years are about to end. haha, and I sort of made them help me pack. yar, then suddenly I just had to accept the fact that we are going to go away. 4 years leh. not say long or not say short larh. but these 4 years meant a lot to me. haha, den I checked out, did all the hugs and bid farewell to everything.

and so I followed my family. and everything is left at its original position again. and I returned to where I belong.

somehow I guess this is life larh. especially mich and hooi, we've spent our sec 1 and 2 together. although not in the same class (sad to say that hooi was my roommate and classmate for 2 years), actually I think that a309 was the room that I had most memories.

after so many things happen arh, actually I would conclude that my four years in singapore are not wasted larh. at least, to me, I've learnt a lot. yar, just feel like telling all of you thank you. thanks for everything. I will never forget you guys. I promise.

hey yo! haha, yar, shall continue updating about things that I have done after Os. those stuff that my roommate bought for me are actually beer larh. haha, I am a very very bad girl. please agree with me. thank you.

yar, then that night I went back after my dinner right, I start seeing many many PRCs out of their room and wandering about. haha, this is a very very rare scene kae. yar, coz normally they will just hug one book and go everywhere. yar, then that night people are like being a bit crazy larh.

hrm, went back to my room. as usual. just crapped with my roommate. but really arh, I felt that time flies. yar, and I have stayed with her for the past year. and I can't believe this larh. like hello, one year leh. haha, I have really studied with her, encuraged her and of course, suan her like nothing like that lar. haha, I am really glad that I stayed with her, rather enjoyable. hehe...

packed my things in the middle of the night. haha, coz I realise that after that I will be busy going out with people. then I pack and pack, and I realise that actually got quite little stuff. yar, not say a lot a lot lorh, at least lesser than what I use to have larh. still remember sec 1 and 2 that time arh, I looked as if I brought my whole house there larh. then this year one box and a few bags only. wow! haha... also har, I gave many of my books, in fact all my books to my two very very dear juniors. yar, and they better take good care of them hor, coz got some are my handwritten notes and my precious books.

haha, then went to sleep at 3 plus. can't really sleep larh, coz still cannot believe the fact that I was about to leave. yar, and I seriously start to think that leaving on the 20th is a bad thing. yar, that means that I will have very little time to spend with my friends and stuff. just lie on my bed and stared at the ceiling. realise that I haven't been looking at the hostel for a very very long time. got a bit the she bu de larh, coz I stayed there for 4 years leh.

haha, the second day was a farnie day. yar, woke up at 10 in the morning because of sbd's call asking me whether I got blank CDs. yar, nothing larh actually, but to think of people that can wake me up through phonecalls arh, I think so far only got 2 people larh. hee... yar, so actually these people got special power. haha...

erm, went to town at about 1 plus 2 like that. then arh, some people made me wait for don't know exactly how long loh. so I waited in front of the aquarium in atria. haha, tell you all something. actually I never stare into the aquarium so closely before. haha, amazing right? then I start to realise that the aquarium actually very nice one leh, coz got a lot of colorful fishes swimming. doink, of course swimming lar, if not floating meh. haha, lame me... then arh, I witnessed the shark eat the little fish. so sad, then got one little boy kept screaming and shouting, just because the shark ate a little fish. yar, and so he went about telling everybody about it.

looking at the little boy arh, I start to think back at my childhood. actually with my brother around arh, I very very girl girl one. coz everything also my brother have to take care of me what. haha, *grin* and so I can do everything on earth and not take any responsibility for anything I do. so shuang, I don't want to grow up!!!

kae larh, enough about day-dreaming. I know is impossible. yar, then wait and wait lorh. and finally the four of us met. yar, then we went to watch ethan perform. yar, so interesting. anyway, datou that day very girl girl! she was actually wearing something non-boyish. yar, and that's something that should be noted in history. yar, then we started making fun of her and everybody else larh. went to cine. began to interrogate some people about their INTERESTING life. hehe, I very evil. yar, that's so true and I agree!

yar, then went to esplanade for dinner. yar, actually because aud wanted to go to the paper house at citylink mall. yar, then I saw this very interesting thingy. actually its glittery larh, that's why I like it. yar, coz got glitter. hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha...I am such an easily contented girl. hee... yar, then after rotting there for very very very long time. and we were so amazed by the price of the stuff. yar, you don't really feel the expensiveness when you don't buy it. yar, esp when you are broke arh, I think those things are quite for away. yar, so didn't take note of the price.

don't know why arh, that weekend I was rather determined to spend a lot of money. but then arh, if very very exarh, still got a bit the she bu de to spend larh. aiya, still spent a lot that weekend. yar, and we had dinner in the garlic restaurant. yar, very interesting meal. and then the people there like don't believe that we go tmoney to pay like that lorh. they just simply refuse to serve us better. yar, and I had this chicky chicken meal. so farnie, all of us tried to pronounce it. then we realise that the waiter cannot really pronounce it properly. yar, so farnie.

hrm, aud was the first to leave. after that the 3 of us went for a walk at the bay. yar, walked from esplanade to fullerton. and then we bought cotton candy. yar, for you information arh, datou! its cotton candy. not mai ya tang! yar, ITS COTTON CANDY! yeah man, then we spent our 'last' night together. haha, I promise that will not be our last night. I promise.

ended our night at 9 plus. took the same bus back together. met this pair of guys that shops at zara. haha, think that they come from acjc. they talked about prom and stuff. we were busily laughing at them larh, coz their conver really very farnie. ya lorh, then reached sch. and everything ended. it just ended.

went back to the hostel. went to put all the beer into the fridge. and in my heart I swear that I was really afraid if anybody would just open the back and expose our great plan. aiya, but anyway, yar, everything went on well and smooth. orh, and bad limae actually left michelle alone in the hostel. haiz, bad limae. yar, and so me and mich, plus ivy and christin drank. we very very farnie, coz I bought this pack of doritos, salsa flavour. actually was for my revision, but anyway yar, I kept it till the night larh. then corona actually tasted wierd with doritos. yar, very wierd.

newae, learned how to play bridge. yar, very interesting game. a bit only larh. coz I realise that mich was yacking nonsense after her first bottle. yar, and everybody else were already talking rubbish after the one and half bottles. so mich went back first. yar, then ivy and christin stayed. being a nice person, I let them watch the last episode of wangzi. yar, and I packed the rest of my stuff. and the day ended at 4 am.

haha, went to sleep only at 4am. and I was suppose to be out with A3-09 people at 1130am the next morning. hahaha, and so I went to sleep......

shall update later larh. now a bit the long le. haha, kae larh, and I am suppose to go change curtain in my house. haha, lalala, whee! tataa!

hello. haha, haven't been 'alive' for the past few weeks. hm... Os finish le, can't believe this. hee...

erm, talk from where onwards arh? don't know leh, like got a lot of things like that. sommor I very long time never update liao, got tonnes of stuff to say...

kae, let's recall the day that I finish my last 3 papers. haha, had modern world history in the morning. then went back to the hostel thinking that the stupid matron will check my room... then arh, she never come, and she wanted to check my room at 2pm. haha, so I told her to check it herself, coz chem paper starts at 230pm. after that she said that she will check my room at 6pm. haha, and so I didn't really concentrate on my chem last minute preparations. yar, because too distracted by all these stuff.

errm, chem paper one was stupid larh, coz all the things down there are rather new to me larh. yar, honestly speaking I never listen to chem for very very long time already, so got a lot of things that I don't understand. yar, and so I thought that I am about to die for paper 2. haha, and guess what, I didn't die. hee, coz I think the paper 2 is rather ok. haha, so considering the fact that I didn't really screw my prac up arh, maybe I still have a chance to pass my chem larh. yar, and so Os ended. so amazing!

after paper 2 ended at 545pm, yar, then went back to check my room and let the matron look see look see like that lorh. actually arh, they very the troublesome arh, they just looked for approximately 5 mins then the fellow signed the form larh. yar, then went to see if charmaine and denise got anything that requires my help or not. haha, at the same time, we made some of our classmates wait outside the audi larh. however arh, I think they did something interesting. haha, so not really our fault to make them wait ba. haha, den in the end we cleared our stuff and went to charmaine's house for dinner.

erm, I think that was a wonderful dinner. but then arh, the amount of people that attended was pathetic larh. not say that not fun, but it will be more fun to have more people. yar, had steamboat. and met charmaine's brother. haha, so funny, then we thought that he talked like some ang moh, slang and slang. haha, then I think he not very happy also, coz we kept talking in chinese. yar, and I bet it irritated him a lot.

erm, after dinner then I tumpanged xt's car back to the hostel. haha, just realised that I tumpang for so many times before, from orchard and all kinds of places. really very bu hao yi si. yar, went back to the hostel then see so many siao people. that night very very tired. and I found out that my roommate help me get the stuff ready le. haha, regarding what stuff arh, I wil say another day larh.

haha, I reckon that I use a lot of erms. yar, watching TV now. haha, the farnie guy went mad and kiss the girl like a monster. yuck, so eer xin.

kae larh, wish that I got time to update tml. I hope so larh, coz I very very busy marh. haha. keep tagging. thanks!

oh yar, please keep me updated about band and yourselves. thanks and take care.

work hard, play hard!

tataa!

heyhey! haha, just finish watching TV. yar, erm, not slack larh. yar, not slack larh...

haha, today had HCL paper. and I think somehow I screwed it up AGAIN! yar, ever since prelims I screwed up my HCL, I think I will screw up this time round too! I know that its bad to think like that, but I can't help myself. its just a feeling that keeps sticking out of my thoughts. and I can't stop it, really. Anyway, I think Paper 2 is very xuan2. yar, very very xuan2.

orh, then arh, I think I can go and write ou xiang ju le! haha, because practically my whole compo is an ou xiang ju larh, just scrap off the love part then everything else remains. the kind that like after accident, then realise that the blood type is different, then reveals the real identity. yar, I think next time if hotels don't want me arh, I can go and work for TV stations. confirm won't die of hunger one. haha...

yar, the time management today was not bad larh. managed to write 5 and 7 pages for my ying yong wen and zuo wen respectively. yar, er, then people say I siao. yar, I think I am siao too! but anyway, I just feel like writing marh, and since I have the thing to write, then I just write lorh. yar, then the answer booklet is so damn thick larh. at first I thought I might finish the paper, then I realise that a bit more then I will finish le. but too bad, time's up, and so I ended my story. wrote si han and the question 3 larh, the thing about bu shi li suo dang ran de. yar, then like that lorh, write until like I fighting some war like that...

and arh, I want to ask if anybody knows any way to cure sweaty palms? yar, because I sweat a lot, then very uncomfortable. yar, must tell me ok? at least I will consider trying it out if it works. yar, really can't stand it lar. the answer booklet today almost wet le, yar, and luckily they use good quality paper, if not die le. haha, so sad, I guess cambridge is so going to need a hair dryer to dry my script while it is on its way back to england. yar, and luckily that HCL is marked locally, so at least just let it expose to sunlight then can le. haha...

erm, very sian now, yar, just now watched superfunkies. yar, the superstar show. then I feel like going stamford road to the whatever cozy canopy place. yar, then can watch movie and eat. so shuang, actually quite cheap lar, 10 bucks for watching movies for 3 hours leh, not bad wo... yar, then I feel like having camp fire. yar, and I feel like going to shop. wOw, so many things that I feel like doing lo, but anyway, after Os larh, I am going to use my time wisely. yar, and do all the stuff that I want to do.

hrm, talking about stuff that I want to do arh, I feel like learning guitar and saxaphone leh. yar, I think these two instruments very cool, then very jazzy. yar, I am a bit into jazz piano nowadays. yar, trying to expose myself into more variety of music. yar, so now jazz. erm, I think need a bit of time to find courses ya, then must continue my piano also. hrm, after Os I will be a bit the busy.

okae, I think I cannot waste time anymore. 930 ord, and the bloody bell went off again. yar, oh I didn't tell you right? haha, paper 2 today I was left with approx 45 mins larh. then I stare and stare at the entry prood. yar, then *poof*, I came out with my revision timetable. yar, sort of larh, so now have to go and study le!

ps, got headaches leh, aiyo, why???

haha, tataa!

I screwed up my physics practical.
Yar, and that's the kind of feeling that I have been getting since thursday.

hrm, actually arh, I very the no confidence in this physics practical larh. so I don't think I will do well. Unlike chemistry that day, physics practical might be a paper that will drag my results down. Never mind about it already lar, I will just try my best in paper1 and 2.

Kk, enough about all the sadness. erm, today is not don't feel like studying. yar, felt like blog-ing since the morning. yar... not I slack wor... haha...

erm, suddenly feel that its a happy thing to go home. yar, sat at the canteen doing a maths during lunch. saw many many people moving luggages and stuff lar. suddenly I feel like going home immediately. yar, that's how I feel. erm, I think maybe every year when I go home, I laughed too much at those taking exams. and now I am the one taking all the exams larh! haha, this is what we call retribution. yar, that what its called.

erm, sometimes I wonder what do people treat me as. yar, I know most of the people that I treat them nicely one will treat me nicely also. but somehow I don't think all of them are. yar, then I wonder, what am I to them? haha, quite funny larh, but suddenly feel like knowing only. yar, not like I am trying to say somebody treating me not nice lar, just wondering only!

haha, erm, today during lunch I did a lot of a maths. yar, and it blasted my brain cells into tiny bits. yar, and now actually even though I feel smarter, somehow I feel tired after solving approx. 10 questions. yar, I hope I don't feel like that during Os, because vien says that Os must chiong one. yar, and I am like tired. so I cannot be like that. yar...

oh, and then right, today I saw JUDY! haha, so happy, I think I very very long time never see her le. haha, and she looks very happy. she's studying in KL now, yar, so I guess it should be a very interesting life that she's leading there. she came back to celebrate kailing's b'dae. yar, then pauline came back also. yar, actually that day I saw pauline at vj open house larh, so erm, yar, then like that lor. haha, still very happy to see judy! yAy!

aiya, don't know what to say again. erm, suppose to go study le, have been in the computer lab for more than 30 mins. yar, now time is very important. cannot waste. haha, guess tonight not going to sleep again. yar, study CHINESE! my favourite subject by the way...lalala...

tataa!

Ps: haha, next week only got one paper, so a bit the must have self discipline, if not later I will waste all the time again. yar, so must always remind myself that 20 more days to go! haha!

erhem, okaiz, this should be a safer way to blog. yar, you know arh, the bloody com in the boarding school's com lab actually deleted my post larh, yar, so now I am damn pissed. yar, so now I am typing this one on my labtop in a word document, only to hope that I can upload this online.

erm, this post I think is quite long larh, cause got a lot of things that I want to say. yar, erhem, if you don't like then too bad lorh, haha...by the way, I find it very stressful to manage 3 blogs. yar, because somehow my other blogs are now snowing larh, then this blog gets updated most often. aiya, anyway, I don't know larh, aiya, now I also don't know what I want to say...gone case le...

yar, had chem prac today. actually not very hard larh, the paper was alright. yar, but somehow a lot of people got different answers from me, so I dare not say who's right and who's wrong. anyway, yar, please stop coming and trying to convince me that the correct answer is nitric acid. yar, because what I wrote is HYDROCHLORIC ACID. yar, and that's already written as my answer. so even if any of you are able to prove to me that it is nitric acid, I won't bother. because not as if I bother then I get the chance to change my answers what...

then hor, the lab stinks of ammonia all the time larh. yar, and I have been smelling ammonia for the whole one and half hours. so shuang right? until in the end when I went to the LT I felt like puking everything out of my body. yar, that is the actual situation. and hor, now I am thankful that this will be the last time that I am ever going to do chem experiment. yar, this means that I no longer have the nice opportunity to smell the 'nice-smelling' gases. hahahahahahahahahaha...

you know, once I took the RED litmus out of the can right, it started turning BLUE!!! argh, then I very pek chek lorh, so I trusted my skill and tested for hydrogen. haha, then I got the positive test for hydrogen!!! arh, I can't believe this! my QA skills actually works leh! hehe, then I happy happy go and confirm HCl lorh...hehe...so happy after getting the thingy. yar, then my titration results is very accurate! 25.2 cm3. yar, so I very very happy! yAy!

more happy things. yar, then I surprisingly know how to do the mole calculation and the practical planning part leh! haha, so happy that I can actually write larh. but then arh, I forgot to mention the kind of metal. yar, so I think maybe will lose one mark. but nevermind, yar, since I never had full confidence that my chem can do well. yar... then come the QA question. I tell you all arh, I wrote Zn2+ and Pb2+. yar, so stop coming to ask me...

yar, after doing the chem paper then very shuang. yar, coz very shuang lorh.yar...but then arh, actually hor, I a bit the scared for physics larh. yar, because I always mix up the significant figures. yar, then I think Mr.Chan also fed up with me. haha... nvm larh, anyway I will just try my best for physics. yar, I think that might be a more positive thinking that I should adopt. because actually I don't expect to do exceptionally well for my Os larh, maybe just a show of my efforts lorh, then can le lar...

aiyo, actually I can't really study nowadays. yar, not say totally cannot study, but anyway, means cannot concentrate lorh. yar, then I will either end up sleeping, eating or wasting time in all sorts of manner. yar, so I feel really bad. never study then still keep thinking that good results will fall from the sky. haha, I really think very simple lerh, as if miracles really happen to people that does not work for it leh.

anyway, ya larh, cannot study lorh, then don't know how. this thurs is formal dinner. that day vien is going to tutor me. yar, I hope that she will stay back for formal dinner. really hope that I can take a picture with her, just like the picture that I have with Sharon. actually I think that I would be the luckiest girl if I have them both as my closest seniors. but somehow I seem to drift away from them le. yar, and also next time if I go poly hor, then maybe will be different already lorh. how? I don't want leh, then I will be very lonely.

actually I think that I treat them more than just seniors and friends larh. maybe just like what my dad say, I treat them as if they were my family members, and I trust them in helping me make decision. yar, how I wished that they can actually be my elder sisters larh. one of them already is better than my brother le lorh. haiz, so sad that is not the case. furthermore, I don't seem to feel the closeness with Sharon le. very sad larh, coz suddenly

remembered sec 2 that time those wonderful moments that we had together.
there's actually no point to look back. yar, at least now still got vien to care for me. hm, maybe also because she's in TJ arh, then I start to think that maybe I can aim for TJ. but still, I don't think so larh. according to her hor, I have to live a stress-free life. this one I totally agree man. coz after four years in secondary down here I start to feel really tired. its not that I regret coming here to study larh, I really liked my secondary life, even though I wasted my Sec 2 doing nothing much. haha, but still, I will always treasure this experience that I have. no matter in band or in NY, or even worst, in NYGBS.

honestly, I start to agree with my dad that if I enter poly right, my life will differ from my friends now. yar, because actually already very different, like I come from a Malaysian primary school, then after that now I am in NY. then arh, I go poly. this is like don't know what kind of life larh. sometimes I wish that my life would be similar to my brother's. he came from the same primary school, then he got into this premier school in JB. and after his SPM he continued with STPM, which is equivalent to As. yar, then he don't need to move out of the house.

I really think that because at age 13 I came out arh, that's why there is a gap created between me and my family. yar, coz I think that those are the crucial years where you have to bond with your family, if not then very wasted le. coz after that you missed the chance to really bond with them and also you start having your own thinking, then the gap created will enlarge. then arh, like now like that lar, I want to get close with my family also a bit the hard. sigh...

then you know what? people from TP tell me that there is no hostel there. then my dad say maybe get an apartment for me larh. wOw, then I start to wonder what my life after secondary school will be like. it seems so interesting. haha, then actually I start to look forward to that. yar, and I still think that hospitality and tourism management suits me a lot. even if I don't do business subjects, I still think that maybe I am really cut for these kind of service thingy.

aiya, start to don't know what to say le. haha, just now I went to friendster to update my profile. then arh, I wrote that I am that kind of friend that will be there for you no matter what, just stay at one corner to wait for the sky to drop down and protect you that kind larh. maybe I am really very very stupid, but I think this should be the kind of treatment that all my friends should get. because if people around me are happy, I will surely be happy! haha...

erm...really arh, I think that this entry is getting too lengthy. yar, so I seriously think that I should stop typing now. haha! kk, tataa! good luck for my physics prac! hee...

hey there! haha, cannot study, so came to the com lab.

lala, actually I think I never study lerh, coz I came online yesterday night also. oh yar, and I slept for more than 12 hours larh. haha, I salute to myself man!

anyway, slept so long because I slept at 330 on fri night. was doing cards for my classmates, so satyed up. but very zhi de lar, coz last time le, next time I think also very hard to make and give them. anyway, I did an 'in-depth' study about all the names in the class larh, coz its all pop-ups and I have to cut every letter out. actually if you ask me which is the hardest name and which is the easiest name, I don't think I can give you a good answer larh, because I gong already. yar, still haven do a few yet. will try to find time to do one larh.

yar, newaes, I got a lot of things to say, but don't know what exactly I want to write. haha, graduated yesterday...

of course arh, graduation means end le, then very sad lorh. yar, coz last time le marh, then I start to feel that actually I might miss nanyang leh, how arhs? don't know why but suddenly feel attached to the school, so very she bu de to leave.

anyway, I don't think I will follow the norm and get into a JC. very interested in going TP, take tourism and hospitality management course. of course, some people might think that I siao already, but I think somehow that place suits me more. yar, and I don't think I can cope with the stress in JC larh, I mean like you study for things that you don't need next time, what's the point man? yar, so maybe next time I will lead a very different life, and who knows, maybe its very hard for everybody to meet up le. yar, and I think that poly environment quite different from JC, yar, so maybe that place suits me more.

erm, just got to know some people from TP. I think that maybe I get in there I should try to find out what's there first. yar, haha, coz all the seniors that I know all come from good good JCs, then very hard to know how's it like to be in a JC.

don't know what to say le lerh, anyway the bloody aircon in the com lab is facing me, so my fingers will be frozen in no time. very cool arh! oh yar, then I went to several juniors blog. actually I never been there before larh, coz I never had so much time to do so. but anyway, you juniors better don't grumble about choral nites, because it will be something that you will miss when you come upper sec. as for those sec 3s, must enjoy your end of year prog. oh yar, can anybody just tell me that is any bander in WEP? haha, nothing much, just feel like knowing. anyway, can learn a lot from WEP. hee, got money one also...haha...

erm, happy holidays for those that finished exams. 26 more days, yar, must jia you!

oh yar, by the way, I won't be around on the 20th onwards. november larh, as for december I will be coming back for grad night, then I don't know whether I will come back for anything else or not. keep me posted with all the band stuff, I will try and find time to come back.

erm, yar, I not playing for end of year concert le larh, and I think maybe I won't be playing anymore le, unless next year I land in band again. yar, the instrument that I brought back is just to keep me accompanied when I am studying...hee...so don't think that I am still playing for anything le!

lastly, I don't know when I will be updating the next time, maybe after Os, so take care! and tataa!

ps: I will be moving house straight after my Os! yAy!!!

Lost

Sometimes I wonder, if stars really can guide me, then why am I still lost in life.

*This post is not talking bad about somebody, just what I feel like saying...*

Well,maybe its because I don't dare to make choices, that is why I can't make choices. I don't know, it seems that every choice that I make is bound to be the wrong one. I will regret, even if I try not to...

Haha, just like in band. Kaez, actually I am not here to blame anybody except for myself.
When I was in Sec 1 and 2, I used to think that band is everything that I need. I used to quarrel with my parents over this issue again and again. Of course, during that whole period of time, I felt that I was a band member. Also, there were other members of the band that supported me. Not to say that now they don't, but its just that the feeling last time is very different from now.

I reckon that if I stay in Spore, there are many areas where I have to be good in. If not, for all you know, you might be rejected by your friends and those that 'know' you. Yar, just like if you are not good in your studies, some people might just treat you like a stranger. I have experienced this personally, and let me tell you, this feels horrible. Especially when you got to know that people are using you for whatever purposes, and they come and tell you that its YOUR responsibility to do so, this is totally heartbreaking yar...

Of course, maybe its only me that is such a dumb person to believe in fairytales that happen in real life, you all might not think so. Haiya, I don't know lar, some people just makes me have this stupid feeling that I was a fool last time. Anyway, I don't think I know how to 'hate' somebody, because somehow I believe that everybody has a kind soul in his/her heart. Well, at least I still believe in this. Aiya, this sounds a bit the stupid... Oh yar, by the way, don't come and ask me who this person that I am talking about is hor, because I still believe that she is not that bad, even though she really hurt me deeply before. Also, don't anyhow think that I am talking about you lar, I not so bad one okay?

haha, I think this is so stupid. but anyway, don't care larh, the last don't know how many paragraphs is just some random thoughts of mine. So really, don't bother about it lar.

=Okays, return to my normal thinking. =

TJC open house
Went to TJC open house on friday. A very very interesting trip.

Went there after history lesson. actually ended at about 315 that day, then waited for ahma, and later found out that she went away, so I started going down to Bedok at around 345. Reached TJC at 430++. haha, just in time to miss the band performance. nvm, then I went to look for vien.

She brought me around the school. walked around the field, and I think that school is considerably big larh. at least if I enter that school, I think I might get lost during my first week there lorh. haha, then she told me about the interesting process to mark attendence in the morning, like how to run across the field and get there in time. So funny!

oh then went to the band room. suddenly I like our band room in school. the band room there is small. really small. but I realise the instrument that they use is quite different larh, because its SILVER! so nice, how I wish I used a SILVER instrument before, but too bad, no point talking about it le. after visiting band room, I have decided to practise during this period of Os. haha, very funny, I actually didn't want to leave my skills to become rusty. yar, this sort of differs from what I was thinking before. anyway, I think maybe its good to practise larh, at least can help me relax when I am tired.

hmm, oh yar, then attended the principal's talk. very interesting principal. I think she very very nice, because she looks nice. but anyhow, I have a feeling that she is the sort that really cares for people that kind larh, makes people feel good. haha. oh yar, then her speech... I actually didn't care about what the speech was about larh, just talked and talked with her. then got the modern dance performance. it was GOOD! very very nice, haha, at least it appeared to me that the have used their hearts to put up the performance. and their costumes is they ownselves cut one! so cool!

haha, oh yar, then after that got mass dance performance. also very very nice! they are like so together lar, as soon as the music came then almost all the students there went to dance. very uniformed. haha, that was really an eye-opener for me larh. haha, and I realised that vien actually dance not that bad larh, even though she cheated during some movements. they all looked very happy when they are dancing, making the whole atmosphere feel very family-like. haha, guess I am much impressed by them larh.

then the thing ended. and ahma didn't come in the end. so sad. but anyway, vien brought me to v hall. that place is very nice too! ya lar, maybe its because its very quiet there, then I like lorh. but anyhow, I can imagine the hot weather in the afternoons. haha, so sad, its because you all get the sea breeze, so better don't complain. hahahaha...

hmm, then as I was waiting for her to put her stuff, the woman in the office thought that I was some PRC that came to report. I was like what the hell larh, which part of me actually looked like a PRC??? aiya, don't understand lar, but I guess no matter what, the faded hongzi that I was wearing that day should tell her that I am not a newly-arrived PRC. yar, then I wanted to laugh my head off...

after that went to parkway for dinner. ate chicken rice, cause got financial restrictions. haha, so sad, then went back alone lorh. reached hostel at about 920, very very late larh... so in the end never even go and attend the whatever farewell party that the boarding school organised. yar, went back to my room and realised that ivy wanted to watch wang zi. so watched with her and slept from 12+ onwards.

aiya, didn't understand why, but I keep having headaches nowadays. sleep until halfway then I started sitting up in my bed, don't know do what. the most crazy thing is that I cried out of a sudden. yar, and I start to regret about not doing well in my studies since sec 2 and stuff lorh. so stupid,my mind go very funny thinking at very odd times. yar, so that's the whatever me larh.

haiyo, I better stop blogging le. mummy just finish cooking lunch for me. shall blog about more things next time, which is I don't know when. hahaha...

tataa!

wOw, this is the 80th post of this blog!

lalala, just trying to be lame, nvm, kaez, back to normal...

haiz, actually i was quite happy yesterday, coz somebody came back to teach me a maths. yar, even though i think i didn't do much work but somehow i felt that i like suddenly learn differentiation again le! haha, so now my target is to do at least 5 questions on differentiation everyday.

integration i don't know what happened to it already lar, maybe because i was relying too much on the powderful calculator, now i no longer know how to write out anymore. haiz, nvm, shall wait for her to come and teach me next time. i wonder if i should have got her for tuition like since last year larh, since whatever things that she taught i also understand and i get to listen to her piano when i am done with my work. shuang rite? but anyway, what's the point of figuring these things out now?

aiyo, actually i wanted to chiong for every JCs open house one. but i realise that it is rather impossible. yar, because this coming weekend is a busy one for me. anyway, yar, and she's not releasing me for TJs open house this coming friday. what the hell rite? I am really very troubled larh, i thought maybe i can go and look around lorh, then even if she release me early also no use le larh, TJ is so far larh! and i don't think the open house is untill very late lorh, if not i can just ask for permission slip and go out and play. stupid right? so now i don't like her le!

argh, so stupid, then this saturday have to go VJ larh. actually i don't know why i go there lar, since i cannot even enter a JC. anyway, just go there and look see look see lorh. oh yar by the way, RJ's open house is like next friday larh! and some smart pig want to make me gong gong and go there is it? aiyo, yar, this saturday going SA's open house too! lalala, i hope that i cna go there and look for her, but not him larh, don't like to see his face! haha!

aiya, today got no mr chan again, sad right? actually I very very sad, coz i think he's one of the best physics teachers on earth. and he is very responsible, like he came to school that day just because of our one and a half hours lesson lar. i hope that he will get well soon, if not he cannot cheer for us when we get back our wonderful results. haha, that remains a mystery since i am not even sure whether he is going to cheer of cry...

i don't know what kind of feeling am i having now larh, i like very happy and very sad at the same time. i think i am going crazy ler, how? you know arh, somebody just told me that i was quiet these days, and she wondered what happened to me! haha, actually i am a quiet girl by nature larh, i don't like to talk but i prefer to listen. yar, so when i don't talk doesn't mean that something MAJOR happened to me!

but anyway, something did happen to me. I SCREWED MY PRELIMS larh! can i be not sad? and in fact these days i have been concentrating my work in history. odn't understand what's the point, just feel that it has became a habit to do all the work and not owe her anything. honestly speaking, i feel like dropping history, at least i get to concentrate more on the other subjects that have a room for improvement, better that concentrating on a F9 subject right? aiyo, now i don't know larh, its making my head burst le. I am so enough with history!!!

oh yar, and i have history test everyday larh! such a perfect revision plan right? i noe that people has been telling me that she's a good teacher. but i don't see a point why i should work harder on my history when the results does not show. this is really torturing, coz i am like working hard for nothing. aiya, then people will start telling me to work a bit more only, since Os are reaching and I might score rather well. yar right, as if it really works that way larh.

i am damn frustrated over work nowadays. everybody around me appears to know almost everything and I don't know anything. please, help me!!!!!!!

kae larh, libing wants to say something now:
EH where got you dunno anything?! nonsense lah. Your chinese so pro everyone asks you about chinese. Bu yao xiao3 kan4 zi4 ji3 lah... haha. Ok we got lit now we have to go to mrs westvik's lesson. BYEBYE!!!!!!

yar, just as libing said, we have to go back for lesson now. anyway, next time i tell you about how i screwed my stuff up.

kae, tataa!

heyhey everybody!

haha, erm, I actually finished all those marking schemes! wOw right? haha, anyway, yar, now I only owe her the prelims modern world section. actually arh, i find it quite wierd lerh, like i am pia-ing her work every day and night larh. hrm, must change, die die also must change.

anyway, todya sbd's coming down to ny to teach me larh. then i think i cannot waste time doing nothing le! argh, hope she treats me to some food larh. oh yar, eating in comp lab now again, sushi. so sad, the bloody canteen is left with a few pathetic stalls. then i don't get to choose the food i want. anyway, I AM DAMN HUNGRY NOWWW!!!

argh, recess about to end le! i have to go first, if not later cannot find food! haha, kae, bye!

tataa!

erhem, I know its quite bad for me to eat in the comp lab, but heck larh, anyway its not as if I am staying in this school for any longer than 2 months.

Anyway, yar, just finished my packed rice, some kangkong with fish in sweet sauce. haiya, so sad, now even though the lower sec people are suffering, their hard time is about to end soon. then Os will reach me, and this sucks. I think actually my studies are not good at all, and I think at this rate of revision, my Os are not going anywhere far from 25 pts.

Kaez, everybody around me, please motivate me to study lerhz. you must teach me my pantang subject can? all my hopes lie in you le lar. then also must encourage me to practise a maths. I know that I have failed her terribly, I promise that Os will be different, hence you must help me!

haiya, I didn't dare to tell her about my prelim results. I failed her expectations lar, and I did worst than I expected. This is not like very encouraging, but for her sake, I shall try as hard not to fail her. She's so busy nowadays, had'nt been talking to her recently. hope I can see her real soon. oh yar, maybe i can tell her my results now, since there will be MODERATIONS!

wOw, the school is so good! wait, stop, I love Mdm Mak! I think she saved my life lerh, cause now my results are not that bad anymore, at least I never fail so many subject. haha, she's going to add 10 marks to a maths and combined, and 5 raw marks to my Chem! ahahaha, at least now I can tell sbd that I didn't do that bad for chem. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

oh yar, I am sick! can you like just accept the fact that I amd sick like before Os? so, I am now in a half conscious state of mind and not doing things right. anyway, yesterday I told her that I wasn't feeling well. that her larh, not the one just now. arh, yar, then she said that I can go back and rest. aiya, but still have to see her on monday.

oh anyway, suppose to end recess le, I reckon that I should go and change my settings back to 5 entries together, if not my archive now very long arh.

tataa!

heyhey!
haha, prelims are over le, act a bit the long time ago larh, but yar, very long nv blog le marhs...

haha, oing to change this blogskin, starting to get rather sick of initial D larhs.

haha, the next skin is simple, and got stars! yay!

erms, okeiz, I shall go do it really soon. tataa!

lalala...prelims are approaching. wells, I don't think that I am ready for it. Whatever it is, I still have to take it larh... so sianz...

well, I am like here to blog again after donkey years. I bet my blog is frozen until like don't know what like that larh. Oh yar, this post is also to tell all of you that enjoys reading my blog that I will not be blogging for the next couple of weeks. maybe until Sept hols or after my prelims ba, coz I cannot afford not to spend time mugging.

haha, so how's life? mine is not like say very good larh, I bet many of you all out there must be shocked to know that I have actually sat down and study. haha, actually me myself also don't believe larh...hahaha...

erm yar, in the hostel's lau pok com lab now. sometimes I really wonder how can the borders in this freaking hostel survive with this kind of connection speed. haha, at first I thought of changing my template, but then I realise that by the time I change arrh, maybe prelims already passed le. haha, yar, don't laugh, its that slow.

erm, so shall change template after prelims. wOw, there are actually many things waiting for me to do after prelims larh, like to sleep and to live a LIFE. yar, there are more things waiting for me after Os. haha, going taiwan straight after that, then come for grad night. after that going Italy, then move house. haha, what a busy life.

I am actually not very sure of where I am going to study lar, but one thing for sure, I am not going to take As. I think that taking As is committing suicide larh, like you study so much and in the end you don't use everything that you study. haha, don't know larh, I want to do Hotel and tourism management, so maybe go poly or college lorh.

so sad, shall blog again next time lar, now suddenly mental block, don't know what to say le, bye!

Oh yar by the way, happy PRELIMS!

woohoo...lalala, I am like finally back! Yay, yar, actually I am going back today, but anyhow, I think I have just wasted completely my 5 days holiday. Yar, did nothing much, slacked around, finished those essential homework and yar, watched a lot of TV.

hrm...let me think, if I did not remember wrongly, I haven blog about when you believe during arts' fest right? well, shall talk about it now...

Everything happens, only when you believe...
I will never forget this part of the performance. because this was my last chance playing on stage, well, not exactly the last chance larh, but at least its my last time playing on stage as a nycb member.

It was full house that night. I know that even if I don't really get many attention from the audience, I will still play my best. As a performer, I think this is a very important thing. I am not really deprived for attention, but I think people ought to realise that there are actually a basses section. even though our existence is always neglected by everybody, I am actually quite used to it lar, haiz, what's the point of talking about it now leh?

anyway, I think we are a loud band, and if everybody aspires to play loudly, then choir can all go and knock themselves on the wall. poor people, being drowned by us, yar... so poor thing, but nevermind, since its the finale then we can all sing as loud as we want lar.

cannot stand it le, tears rolled down my chin, very touched by the music, and also cannot bear to imagine that this is my last time playing. so sad! well, everything have to end, its just a matter of how much you've put in and how much memory you've taken away with you. I know that I have taken many memories, both happy and sad ones, its definately a great experience, because I understood many things along the way.

finally, everything ended with a high note. the audience were rather satisfied I think. erm, everybody is walking now, I wonder what did they take away with them. probably they would think that it is just another performance. I know that it is not true for me, I enjoyed it very much, really. Hey eugenia and tiffany, thanks for accompanying me all the way, I know that I have been a bad senior, thanks for understanding and forgiving me. Thank you so much.

Audrey came for the performance. yar, and I really can't stop crying. stood on stage and cry and cry. many of my friends and people that I know came. They said that it was a great performance, I know that too, and I thank the band for putting up such a wonderful performance. the road back to band room was probably the most relaxed one, since I know very clearly that I might not walk that road again with my instrument. my instrument was not that heavy after all, haha, for once.

well, now, it has ended. Thank you everybody, thank you so much!

I think I talk a lot of rubbish, but anyway, still got a lot of things to talk about next time. tataa!

lalala...sorry arh, people, will try to blog more in the next two weekends.

yar, just to update you guys on what I have been doing so far.

erm, last week I went for cell meeting with ah ma. yar, then before FOA performance the whole batch of us, actually only 7 of us went sakae. erm yar, then met ee vien at city hall! haha, lalala, finally got to meet her. then went for HMP concert.

immediately after that weekend, I went for band presentation on tuesday. yar, heard the top bands play. met sharon and went home with her. after that, nothing exciting happen lar. oh yar, elections on 22/7. passed down and everything marked an end.

on the 23rd, did flag day in the morning, went for cell meeting and then went to z-pop concert. shall blog more about all these next time.

24th was a great day, had batch lunch, yar and ate and ate... lalala, and that was practically my whole weekend gone. didn't go for tuition, so I will have to make up another day.

erm, next week gonna be at home for around 5-6 days. shall blog again next time. oh yar, and I think most probably I will upload more photos online. yar, that's all, gotta go now! tataa!

There can be miracles, when you believe...

wOw, it's all over.

yup, all of it ended last night.

If you want to know what I feel right now, I can tell you that I don't even feel anything. I don't know, maybe I had expected it, but I still can't believe that it actually ended so soon. Yar, I didn't want it to end so fast, I didn't let go on purpose right? I don't know... I don't know anything.

I was just holding a stand about 3 secs before the curtain was open. just enough time to place my music and to adjust my posture. well, and the lights came on. it was misty somehow, and I thought maybe this was a dream. nothing seemed real until we stood up. audience cheered loudly, but it didn't make me feel that I am actually on stage. ms chong started to conduct. and we played.

all throughout 7th night I was thinking of things that happened in band for the past 2 years, or rather the past 4 years. Its unbelievable that I can still remember the feeling I had during my sec 2 art's fest. everything was different by then. I know that we have to look forward in life, which is why I always look in front, staring at her baton all the time. I played my solo while thinking of all these, the first few notes sounded rather ok, but I think I ended that phrase very badly. maybe I just want another chance to play it, but I soon realise that its impossible.

Yihuang and Yanzhen's solo came. I played that part rather well, coz I realise that all the notes actually came out and I had a lot of breath. It sounded quite well overall, I think, the middle part was filled with a lot of emotions. probably everybody was recollecting some of their memories in band. actually, it was a very interesting journey to me. well, after all the hard work, I won't say its wasted, but I won't say its very rewarding either. Mixed feelings, all the goods and bads, all the emotional roller-coaster and most importantly all the people that I met. I will never forget what I have learned and the friends that I met.

Tempo Primo was rather tight. It was as if we are trying very hard not to let go. all the way until the melody. this time the melody was very expressive. everybody sounds like they are really warmed up and they just played like those super pro people. I guess this is because everybody was playing through their hearts. Indeed, it was very touching. and then the slow part came in, it kind of melted my heart and I finally start to cry. sound quite loser, but to be very frank, after the sax and eupho solo I was trying very hard to hold my tears. yar, vivian and magaret's solo, sounded like a prelude to the ending. loud and clear, very majestic. yar, and the brillante part came in.

The last 40-50 bars, it was certainly wonderful. everything was in place and the band just pumped in as much emotions as they could. that was real good music. really. the last few bars passed too quickly for me to think about it. and the last note just sounded like the best chord on earth. it was well-supported, balanced and sounded very solid. a very warm applause was heard after that. I knew that I had tear marks on my face.. It was the best 7th night of July that I have ever heard of. WONDERFUL, that's the word I want to say.

yup, shall continue about when you believe the next time I blog. have to prepare to go back le. tataa!

wOw

youth day just passed. well, this year I enjoyed a lot during youth day fun fair. firstly, my class set up a pasar malam games stall. yar, didn't earn much, but we ourselves enjoyed very very much. I was vey impressed by the way we tended our stall and gave out prizes. haha, it was really funny. erm, yar, the whole thing was alright except that weiting got hit by the softball bat, the sponge one larh. aiyo, then her skin went red. so sad, how can anybody just hurt her like that? haiyo...

throughout the fun fair it was almost all the same, got food,drinks, services and games. I did my hair and my hand. yunxi helped me do my hair with this thread thingy, very nice, but it got loose yesterday, so it just fell off. as for my hand, Ivy helped me with it. yar, very very nice colour combination, but it is also dropping le. haha, she helped me do a butterfly thingy with glitter. yeah, must thank her a lot, coz I think that the way she did it was very nice. anyway, yar, my 8 dollars just went away by doing hair and hand, and one nachos and one drink. oh yar, I bouht stickers too! haha, the hamtaro one, very cute!!! gave libing and choonyee one each, yar, and that's how I spent my 8 dollars.

hmm, don't know what to say le lerh, post again next time lar, haha, tataa!

Happy Birthday, Kylie! My apologies, forgot your exact birthday. haha, but anyway, ya lar, still wish you happy birthday. how was the surprises? actually I didn't really prepare it for you lar, ah ma and yx did most of the work. well, I got prepare your present, but forgot to bring it out, give it to you on monday can? haha, lala, hope you really enjoyed your birthday. Things that does not matter to you, please don't go and think about them, if not it will make you feel bad.

yar, this week quite meaningful lerh. I did most of my work and handed them in on time. not very bad sia! haha, actually this week only got 3 school days lar, coz TML is youth day fun fair! haha, I am so excited over it. well, the sad thing about this fun fair is that I forgot to bring a camera. and this is going to be my last youth day in NY. sad right? I knew it. my class setting up a games stall. shall not disclose anymore about it, if not nobody come tml.

Oh yar, as usual, they are going to let us have our body arts on for the next whole week! woohoo, maybe this year I will go and do something nice, since for the past few years I have been saving and saving. haha, let me think, nails? I don't think so lar, maybe do something that can stay one, such as tatoo or maybe some henna. haha, might do my hair tml, shall think about it tonight. lalala, anyway its prep now and I am down here don't know doing what larh. haha, tml will be an exciting day!

oh yar, went to band this week. I finally thought of what to give eug as passing down present le!!! yay, finally another big problem solved. well, I dare to assure that eug will love this present! lalala, but it will take quite some time lar. oh yar, must tell dad that I got arts fest and passing down for the next 2 saturdays. yar, quite happy that aud is coming for arts fest! like finally we can meet. haha, miss her a lot and I hope that she will be going for band presentation, coz me, zj and yx will be there. yar, if I am not wrong, it should be about 1 and a 1/2 years ago that the four of us went out together. yar, so better treasure this opportunity before I go away.

haha, nowadays I go band and play play only one. maybe its wrong lar, in the eyes of some people. but I think this might give me a better memory of band and also marks off my band life nicely. Band, what a wonderful thing, too bad I can enjoy it to the fullest. I will always remember in my heart that I was once a bander. even if I know that I have made some mistakes, I do not regret putting in my efforts there, because now I know why I use to love band so much le. haha, sounds so sad. should only talk about it after pass down. still, I love basses!

haha, this week actually very guai1 lar, I was paying attention to what the teachers have been saying, and tried to do my best. maybe I still owe some work, but I think the situation will be changed soon. haha, veyr funny, today I passed up one compo to cai, owed since last term, and she marked and gave it back to me in about 10 minutes. the most funny thing is, I got 49 marks for that! like wOw right? still can't believe that she likes my writing style that much, but she just told me to keep up the work and produce more good compos. aiya, hack her lorh, doesn't she know that inspiration only come when a person is feeling good? haha, bet she is still trying to figure it out lar.

I bought "Mr.Fighting" OST le! haha, quite nice, bought the one with all the MVs. haha. realise that Xie Zhi is veyr veyr very very shuai! haha, and Stephen Fung is very shuai also! lalala, better stop talking about all these shuai ge le, if not later I will go crazy again. well, don't know what to type le lar, blog agin during the weekend! tataa!

ahahahahahahahaha...feels kind of farnie to blog twice a day, but because blogging is a healthy activity, I should do it more often.

well, just finished watching Initial D for the third time, and it still impresses me yar. haha, I think it is more original to watch it in cantonese, because the fun in the language cannot be translated mar. anyway, rotted in City Square for quite a few hours. saw many posers walking around as well as a lot of Foon Yew students dating. haha, I realise that the people that attend school in JB are less than those that ponteng. so farnie...

anyway, I haven't done my homework yet, die die also must do yar... hee, its quite farnie lar, to realise that its actually less than 2 weeks away from FOA. well, it will be my last performance, and I haven't got tix for aud and ee vien yet. Night tickets are all sold out, how? aiyo, veyr veyr the troublesome lerh. haiz, don't think about it lar, I feel like going for the Wasbe Art's Fest. suppose to be nice yar, but I don't think I will have the time to go. so sad...

Tuition yesterday was very farnie. I learnt about many new things. yar, new things such as factor and remainder theorem. haha, cannot believe it that I actually forgot how to do this chapter. nothing appears in my mind when I tried to attempt the past year questions. haha, and so my teacher had to teach me all over again. Physics was alright, now that I have read through the textbook, I finally understand the nuclear reaction thingy. haha, feel so proud of it!

lala, tml I am going to be absent from 1250 onwards. haha, got the whatever EL base-line thingy. happy and sad lar, happy because I get to miss lessons and skip band prac. but sad because I am one of the most unfortunate ones to be picked and I don't get to play 7th night. haha, actually nowadays going for band prac is just a waste of my time, I mean like there is no point for me to practise EOY concert pieces since I am very sure not performing for the concert. well, even though we still run through 7th night, but I seriously think that I am wasting my time sitting down there and play some pieces that I don't bloody like lorh. haiz, luckily all of these are going to end soon. I can't wait for passing down, just want to get it over and done with.

Aiya, sometimes I really feel that me in band = nothing at all. yar, whatever it is, I won't forget those days that we had together. well, everything changes over time lar, so its not anybody's fault yar. I was reading back some entries in the past, re-experiencing the emotional roller-coaster that I have been through for all these years. well, enjoyable, at least it made me learnt something ultimately.

haha, I guess I can memorise Initial D's script le. haha, I kept repeating the scenes with Ivy, yar, and we laughed like mad lar. haha, anyway I hope she had a great time today. seriously speaking, this was my first time bringing a best friend of mine to walk in City Square lerh. haha, had genki sushi for lunch, quite cheap lar. the neo-print in CS is rather exp. very dumb lar, because even if the currency value is different, they are still charging higher than sg. daylight robbery meh? haha.

kae, veyr hungry for the whole day, shall go blog surfing le, bye bye.

Ps: GO AND WATCH INITIAL D!!! *I am crazy!*

ello. haha, its near ten in the morning and yet I am down here blogging. Today is youth day, got no school, oh yar, its Kylie's birthday today. Hey, Happy birthday! must Cheer up lar, whatever it is, nothing bad will stay with you forever.

kae, anyway, I am at home now. later going to pick up Ivy from the check point and bring her to watch Initial D! haha, this will be the third time that I am going to watch it. yar, felt that it was very very nice, so decided to go and support them. I want to buy their OST and some other stuff. haha, provided I am financially sponsered larh.

well, just finished my picture description. still go one more paper 1 to go. well, I guess I will do it at night. kae, I MUST do it. lalala, quite regretful for not completing all my work during the long hols. but not quite regretful because at least I have spent quality time with my family. haha, don't quite know what I have done, but I would say that it was a very meaningful hols.

aiya, one thing to note, MY BROTHER has got a CAR!!! oh well, kind of expected, but I didn't think that he would take such a long time to choose the right car. and finally, my parents were like 'take it or leave it' that kind of attitude, and so he took the deal rightaway. maybe my parents are being too nice with him lar, I don't know, they just tend to give the best to us. yar, so my bro has got a 2nd hand Perodua Kembara. yar, blue in colour. and I still don't understand why is my bro so picky? he's just like a girl, or if not, like a tai tai.

back to school, go scolded this week. I guess EL dept must be very angry at my class lar, coz we don't do work and stuff. but seriously I think they have mistakes also. well, at least CL department is nicer. the HOD came to talk to us and I realise that she's such a nice teacher! not to say that cai's very bad, but she's a bit naggy and that's all. yar, so after these nagging sessions I have decided to be a good girl and finish my homework from now onwards. yar, even if it will take a longer time, I will still finish it.

hehey, gotta go out soon. eh paiseh arh, I still haven't got the time to do the template, shall do it the next time yar? kae lar, bye bye. happy youth day!

heyo! haha, I've changed my template. lalala...this one very nice right? haha, I knew it!

Erm...A bit the crazy yar, haha, coz finished watching Initial D the movie marh. went to watch the show with my brother, some free tix thingy lar... anyway the show is damn nice lar. I want to have my driving license! haha, and hopefully by that time I can get a car. hee, anyway I realised that the movie itself is very farnie. I watched the cantonese version, very original. haha, all the jokes are quite lame lar, mainly playing around with words. Anthony Wong's character damn hilarious. shouldn't talk so much about the movie, yar, hehe.

Oh, I cut my hair yesterday! look a bit the farnie, but I think ok lar. please don't laugh at me when school reopens, ok? haha, i asked the woman to layer a lot, so now my head feels lighter! yay, and I had a massage too! whoa, so comfortable, until I fell asleep! hehe...

I don't want school!!! oh well, 5 more months to go. I need your encouragement! I will make it one! haha, ok lar, gonna have my last dinner at home le. tml I am going back to hostel liao, so tataa!

I so don't want to go back.

must go watch Initial D ok? haha...

lalala... I think my hol life is really great.yeah, coz I just slacked away everyday thinking that everything will be fine.

it is really wrong to think like that. anyway, I think my homework are really very behind time. to tell the truth, my history is still zero. I think its either I work my stuff out this week and do two chapters of it, if not I think I will resort to last minute work again. which will you choose? I hope that I can choose the first one. believe me that I will do it, will you?

aiya, homework is such a crap. but I think it really helps you in revising. physics homework are not really that hard, at least that is what I think. still left with 1 more assignment. the radioactivity one. I guess its not very hard, because he say read the textbook then can le. haha, if he is wrong then I will skin him alive!

haha, all the english, chem, chinese and lit are going to be untouched. I don't really want to do that, but I think if I want to do all, I will die first. I'll try lar, maybe to do a few here and there. I will try. a maths is hard to say, maybe I will do a tiny portion, but you must remind me to practise everyday once school reopens. remember horh!

lala, what's wrong with me? I think I am really scared this time. not finishing homework is really horrifying. but the amount given already stressed me out, so what have I got to say? maybe I would say that I will try my best. for whatever that is not done, I am sorry. I admit that I am lazy but I am really too tired to complete it.

ok, that's about homework. anyway, I said just now that hols is really enjoyable. yar, that is because everyday I help my mummie to do household chores. tiring, but very worth it. during work we will chat with each other. haha, chat about everything under the sun. so cool. after my dad comes back, I will try to make him smile all the time. haha, this is really cool. I think the relationship built through the hols is very strong. now I feel that I am back home again. so sad that once I leave again it will be empty.

as for my brother, I think I have nothing to say about him. I understand that he has his reasons. but what about others? has he ever spared a little thought about other's feelings? it is not about money, it is about the attitude that he used to treat my parents. honestly, I am rather dissapointed with what he did. I noe why my parents will not let him go out and study, that is because he still behaves like a little kid. not to say that I am matured or what. but the situation is really like that what.

haiya, no point talking about him down here. not as if he will change. haiz.

oh yar, I watched mr. and mrs. smith on sunday. dad's day present for my dad, and someho my whole family get to watch. quite nice larh, i like the last scene. the use of that particular music is really cool. anyway, i get to watch initial D on wed night. looking forward to it!

kae larh, gonna have dinner soon. have to go and cook soup first, so tataa!

lalala...the com a bit the cocked up today. anyway, the heat is really gonna kill me!

well, visited 2 education talks during the past week. I realise that actually there are many things outside waiting for me outside. haha, for example, I can opt for matriculation or foundation courses instead of A levels. wOw, this is great. haha, and I have another option of doing a diploma then a degree. that will save me even more time. anyway, whatever I choose, I will still have to do sell for my O levels.

Its exactly 10 more days to school reopen. my work progress is rathe slow, but at least it is progressing. yar, feel slack at home. everyday can see my parents. I am so fortunate! lalala, after seeing so many different people outside, I reckon that its still your family that will love you and accept you for whatever you do. its really true. I love to be at home but I also realise that if I move back things might not be how it was last time. Maybe its because I've missed the period of time that I am suppose to know my family better. it feels wierd larh, no longer like the feeling I use to have when I was in P6.

Don't really know how to explain it, but it just makes a person feel unright. by the way, I might have to move to KL for tertiary studies. if I have the chance, I might go to Sunway or Taylor's. haha, if my studies can really make it for JC, and the Sing government is satisfy with my results to offer me a scholarship, then I might stay in Sing to do A levels. at first I felt rather sad to leave that place lar, but eventually I realise that in life we just have to walk on, go into another phase of our life. I mean, we can't exactly stay in the same old position doing the same old things over and over again what. so now I'll try to prepare myself for whatever that is waiting for me in front.

Oh yar, I think that actually Taylor's give very good hospitality and hotel management courses. their facilities are really great and they offer many things too! but still Sunway also provides almost the same thing lar. one thing why I don't want to go Sunway is that they have a campus in JB. yar, so even if they don't provide all the courses, my dad will hope that I do matriculation in JB before flying off to KL for diploma and degree. haha, sound as if I can't wait to leave house like that.

Talking about Sunway, my dad has this friend that sent his childen there. the eldest son has already got his bachelor and came out to work. then his second daughter was there doing some course. haha, she used to be very smart in studies until she met this guy in KL. he was a chef which earns RM4000++ every month. then ar, both of them started going together and guess what, both of them didn't make it for the course. so in the end ar, the dad has got to transfer the daughter down to JB and retake the whole entire course.

guess what, the guy came down as well. he abandoned his highly paid job just to be with his girlfriend. hahaha, and he is earning almost RM1000 per month now. damn sad lar, like a quarter of his previous salary only. haha, then the dad approached my dad to let the guy work with my dad. wOw, what a wonderful dad! hee, of course, my dad took him in. considering the fact that he is only 21 this year, my dad thinks that he will soon laugh at his actions in the past larh. but who knows, maybe to him love still weighs heavier that bread leh?

my mum advises me not to get into this kind of troubles first, coz she don't want me to waste my future. I think that maybe I never experienced this before larh, but I really feel quite pity that he has abandoned a RM4000++ job just to be with his girlfriend. is he an idiot or is he an idiot? what if one day the girl wash her hands off the game and walks away with another guy? is it really worth it?

haiz, maybe that is what everybody calls love. being loved and loving somebody. it makes a person feel lost and tend to do foolish things. haha, I sound like some old man talking crap.

hee, now don't know what to write again. haha, let's talk about entertainment news!!! lalala, ENERGY is coming to malaysia tml. I wish to go there and support them but they are only going to KL. so sad. anyway, I am very curious about what toro feels about ah di's departure. also, I think that ah di is very mean. he actually punched kunda in his face leh, so bad. but in general I think that ENERGY has walked through many things. hope that everything will be fine in the future.

To be very very the honest arh, I think that Michael Jackson shold not be punished until so extreme lar. maybe just some social work will do lar. haha, have nothing much to say, because I don't really like him.

oh yar, did I ever say that stephen fung is very very very handsome? haha, I think that he has his own character, maybe that's why I admire him. anyway, initial D is going to come out. I can't wait to watch it!!! oh yar, and recently I realise that the japanese animation called bleach is quite nice also. hee, ok lar, I think that's all le.

Shall blog again next time. tataa!

Aloha.

Well, its June holidays now. Yar, its supposed to be a holiday but I don't see any difference except that I get to stay at home to finish my work. Well, maybe this holiday feels relaxed because I have decided not to go for any band practise. Argh! Okaez, I have tonnes of homework and revision. got 200+ structured questions for history! Argh, that alone can send me off to hell.

Oh well, I guess I will just have to bear with all the work given. 6 more months and I will be out of Singapore. Yay! Actually I am glad larh, at least if I come back and study in m'sia I can lead a more relaxed life. On the other hand, I don't think it will be easy to let go. Well, shall let nature take its course and see what happens to me eventually. Probably I will die in a traffic accident tomorrow. I mean like, who knows?

Anyway, I find it really hard to let go of certain things. For example, band. Its true that I have chosen to let go, but I did not expected it to be such a difficult process. Nowadays, it seems like no matter what I do, I will always think of band. I don't know why, I just simply couldn't help it. Whenever I try to do anything, the first thing that comes into my mind is my section. I guess that is the thing where I matter the most.

By the way,I must apologize to all the people in my section. Sorry! I think I haven't been a good senior nor SL. Sometimes it really makes me feel guilty for not being able to be there when you all need me. I think that basses is somehow ruined in my hands. I am really sorry! Sorry to dissapoint those who pinned hope on me, sorry to all those that let me have the chance of being an SL. I didn't do a good job. I know it.

I know that passing down is going to be held soon. I am sorry that I cannot attend. I am really sorry.

Haiz, just came back from Ipoh. Very tired sia, but I think this journey is rather fun. I had a lot of alcohol and great food. I really miss the tauge chicken, the dim sum, the wanton mee and a lot more. Lala, but I guess what I miss the most is my relatives especially my great grandmother. Yup, she's very very old now. She dotes on me the most, so I must always go back and visit her. Oh yar, and she made very nice rice dumplings for me!

Haha, I made muffins for 412 during the holiday lesson. I think it turned out rather good larh, at least people finished it. Phew, I thought there would be a lot left but in the end nothing was left. Haha, so farnie. Then on the second day we had a 'cookie party'. Yar, and there was a lot of chocolate until I am a little scared of chocolate now. Anyway, it was a wonderful party and I wish we can have another one next time!

Aiya, I don't remember what I want to write le lar. Ladida, I love my house, my family and all those that cared for me! Oh yar, Happy Rice Dumpling Festival! Duan1 Wu3 Jie2 Kuai4 Le4!

ps: JJ's new album very nice! Love Miracle is nice too! So sad, Energy turned up like that.

yar, nowadays very free to keep track of entertainment news. Haha, tataa!

lalala...finish getting back my results le. did quite badly, but i think its because of me larh, so nobody to blame actually. don't know why lerh, i think i very very lazy, so shall work really hard during the hols and the rest of the year. afterall, its only this O level cert that i must really care about what. haha, so its gonna be a hard time. wish me all the best ba.

anyway, i am not going to attend band during the hols le. i hope nobody misunderstands me this time, because my results serves as the best evidence, its hard to let go larh, but i'll still have to do so. i hope you all don't blame me. to me, this is not called selfish, it's just that i don't have abother option. anyway do you all really think that i'll be able to let go completely? for all the four years of hard work? if you really think that i am that cruel, why not just reflect on what you guys have done to me? its not that i cannot accept facts, its just that you all like to put salt on people's wound.

anyway, i think that it doesn't matter anymore. nobody treats me like they did in the past. now that i've seen everybody's true side, i bet the conclusion is being made in everyone's heart. i don't blame you allfor treating me like that, because i was in the wrong too. but if you all think that all the fault lies in me only, then what i have to say is only that you guys don't understand me at all. i am sorry for what i have done wrongly, but sorry seems no cure now. a lot of things has happened, none of these can be amended. so we shall just let it past lar.

i don't know why i want to write all these. but i can imagine a lot of things happening. maybe this is just a prelude. but i really can't stand it anymore. i am not attempting to create any troubles, but i would just like to speak my mind. yar, i dont' know lar, very very blur now. yar...

Death is scary. It just sends a chill down your spine, making you feel eerie and helpless.

just came back last night. attended a ceremony at the cheras crematorium yesterday morning. it was a simple ceremony, very few people attended. but i learnt a lot from that simple ceremony.

death, it is just a thing that we must all face. its a matter of time, whether early or late. i guess when one faces death of his beloved, all the weaknesses of one will be shown. well, i saw my grandfather shedding tears at the ceremony. that's not very normal, because he always appears strong in front of everybody. its really saddening to see it, but i guess its just life larh. from my grandfathers' movement i could sense his thinkings. he was thinking about my uncle, as well as my grandmother who passed away some years ago. in both situation, he could make no decision. they just left him like that.

anyhow, i guess death of another person creates an opportunity for us to reflect on ourselves. to reset our target in life so that we will not regret when we die away one day. haha, sounds wierd, but that's what i think. yar, we are always in search for true happiness in life. but what is it that we are looking for? money? maybe... but to me its more of love from others. i don't know, maybe you might not think the same, but i hope you know what are you are looking for.

good luck, may you get what you want.

Life is fragile. Treasure it, don't waste it.

well, one of my uncle just passed away due to hap B.Quite shocking, but i guess its just part and parcel of life larh. i dare not comment on anything, since i am not reall close to him. but i feel is that sometimes in life, we just don't get to choose.

yar, exams just ended. supposed to feel relaxed this weekend, but this piece of news just came. feeling neutral now, not very happy, not very sad. this weekend is a long one, where i can happily enjoy and do things that i did not have time to do. quite shuang larh, except that i m going kl tonight to attend the funeral.

honestly, nobody told me anything. up till yesterdy when i got to know that my mum went to kl to see my uncle. scary sia, i thought why my mum ran away again. anyway, had a great dinner last night. yar, had steak from australia. yum yum. then after dinner i followed my dad back home. feels lonely without seeing my mother, but i hope tha she's coping well now.

anyway, later i am suppose to go wash the clothes. yar, and do more housework. since my mum is not around at the moment. very tiring, but i think this will be the only way for me to help my mum get back to normal. i bet she's sad. the previous time when my grandmother died, we didn't get to see her also. it came too sudden larh. well, what have i got to say? life's just like that, you take it or leave it. its not up to you anyway.

haiz, enough of the bad things. we should just let unhappy things pass and look forward to happy things that are coming along. haha, my mid-years was not that bad afterall. passed my a maths by 1 mark, got c5 for english. history was a bit unexpected. failed. 42 marks. but nothing much larh. i was rather happy to know that i passed my structered for the first time. hee. haha.

results are going to come back very soon. i don't think i will do very well for chem. for the rest, i'll just accept what it is lar. i think i have done my best. yar. i have.

anyway, this week quite slack. have been going out very often these days. haha. newae sly coming to the school this coming friday. i look forward to seeing him. yay! lalala, i am in desperate for money to buy CDs. anybody that wants to make me happy can do so by donating some money. haha, just kidding larh. just realised that i haven bought CDs for a very long time. and i plan to buy quite a lot of the albums only.

haiyo, why must time pass so quickly? kae, cannot blog le, must go and wash clothes le. buaizzz...

mwahahaha...and now exams are finally over!!!
wohoo!!!

hee, a bit the high today, just went out with yvonne, xiang ting, fang xuan, liying and eunice. since its after exams, we gave ourselves a treat to the sakae sushi buffet. haha, so full now, and i realise that budweiser's rum raisin is not as nice as other brands.

haha, then went to take neoprints. it has been donkey years since i last took a proper neoprint. feel so achieved. will upload the picture some day, when i am free,

yar, then i have to thanks xiangting's dad for fetching me back for the second time. very pai seh lerh, argh!!! anyway, that's all for my programme today larh. yesterday was bio paper, so i didn't go to school for any reason. woke up at ten, watched some soapy drama, then went out to meet eevien. haha, dinner was enjoyable larh, then chatted for a while. got back to the hostel at seven sharp, haha, so heng. anyway, did maths during prep and went to watch tv.

i really cannot stand the sec 3s PRC scholars le. they were doing all sorts of things to irritate me. and fortunately, i didn't scold them or make any reaction. yar, that's it. they got me so irritated and then i didn't feel like doing maths anymore. i think they lacked discipline and self-awareness. not only in their behaviour but also their attitude. yar, and i think they are the only ones that can be compared with our m'sian sec 1s this year. all as irritating.

haiz, i don't know why this year i really cannot stand those that make moves which i dislike. i mean like whatever larh, just don't disturb others can le. and yet B block is filled with those loud people and inconsiderate people. argh! luckily i finished my exams early, so that i don't flare up. stupid!!!

anyway, i think this mid-years came and went very quickly. yar, and it feels great! anyway, yar, i think its a good thing that we get this experience. i mean like its just a trial. so i wont' feel very bad if i failed. yup, i think that whatever it is, i've put in my best. if my results are bad, i'll just work harder for prelims larh.

haha, enough about school work. yeah, sly coming next friday!!! i am so so so excited. i think i am just being dumb again, but i think he come very good larh. haha. again. hee, sorry larh, but i still love tony sun the most. yar, and i found out that actually i like stephen fung. yar, he's very very dashing!!! haha, gen-y cops that day was fantastic. anyway, yar, i think i am a bit the flower-hearted. but nvm, who cares? as long as i like can already.

oh yar, tml going to sentosa. whee, gonna cycle. and eat nice food. anyway, no time le, must go and take my bath, if not later lok chi will be mad at me! haha, like i care like that. but nevermind, i ought to be a good girl. yar, so this is the end. i'll update more this weekend.

tataa!

lalala, mid-years liao. so will not blog for quite some time. yar, hope you guys understand.

hello the world. haha, haven been blogging for quite some time. well, everything is almost on track now. yar, like my studies, my life and stuff lar. hee, quite happy to see that my actually my results have shown some improvement.

my chem sucks, as usual. i failed another chem test. i think sometimes i just don't put in what i should. yar, i guess i just haven put in my best larh, that's all. i won't really go and get a F9 for mid-years one. hehe. i won't let myself get it larh.

haha, my physics has shown improvement, even thoughits not really very very obvious. yar, but at least the understanding part is easier for me right now what.hee, i think my dream as a pilot is not that impossible.

well, had the whatever walkathon today. walked from ny to smu, damn crap larh, but i still enjoyed my walk. to all 4/12ers that are reading right now, i love you guys. haha, our class mascot was a packet of milo, yar, milo as in M-I-L-O. yeah, and we sold milo in the morning. i kept stirring and stirring. haha, den i think i had done some contribution yar, by stirring and scooping. haha, milo is a nice drink, and its healthy. haha, i think i overheated my brain during the walk larh, if not i won't be talking cock now, haha.

anyway i am goin to perform at the istana on monday.please go and support. yeah, and i just got to know that sly and taufik will be there before us. haha, hope i get to see him(sly). hee, a bit the dreaming liao. mwahaha, actually i think i am not so much of a fan, coz i still love 5566 more than anybody else. yar, and recently i found out that actually stephen fung is very shuai. yup, so shuai that i can just stare at a picture and stare and stare...

hee, so proud to announce that i cleared all my NAPFA items this year. yar, a bit the lan i noe, but at least this is the first year that i cleared everything what, give some encouragement larh. haha, think nowadays i am managing stress quite well, in fact i don't usually feel very stressed. of course, sometimes stress over things that i still owe the teachers lar. hee, i think that right amount of stress is healthy for our body. coz i feel healthier with some stress which drives me to work hard. yar.

kae lar, write a lot of things l

a new week is about to start. well, there are just so many things waiting for me to do. hope everything will be over soon.

sometimes in life you just have to take whatever you can take. never try to take everything, coz you cannot be sure if it is worth to do so. i am now thinking of not performing for the Art's Fest concert. well, its one great chance to perform there, but yet my studies are very crucial during that period of time. i don't know how to choose, basically because i always sucked at choosing. well, let's see what happens in my mid-years ba.

MID-YEARS is in 2 WEEKS(?) time!!! Argh, i think i'm just gonna die straightaway. but come to think of it actually if i work a little bit harder, life might not be so bad after all. kae larh, for my own good, i shall work extremely hard. anyway this is good for my future what, so i think its very worth my time and effort.

haiz, reading some very lame fan fiction now. damn farnie one. haha, i think people that publish these fan fiction really have a lot of imagination. damn sad lar, like those drama like that, den try to make people cry one. oh yar, got the chance to watch a bit of tian1 guo2 de jia4 yi1 these days. quite nice lar, the story i mean. i totally don't like cyndi's face lar, but the show and the songs in there are very nice.

haiyo, my mother is nagging agian. shall end off here. i'll try to update again this week. oh yar, by the way, li4 wei1 lian2 rawks!!! hee... a bit hua1 chi1 le... haha...

whee, in the com lab now, doing some personal statement thingy. yar, its kinda crap lar, but guess it is useful for me to apply for jobs next time. i realise that to apply for scholarship you actaully need to cheat a lot lar, like to cheat your achievements, and then make people think that you are very good like that.

is life really like that? i don't like to be like that. i mean like you should show what you are and only what you are. there's no point building this fake shell around yourself and live in it. because by the time you show your true self, people get shocked. haha, just like me lar, in the testimonial last time i seem to be such a good student, then it turned out to be a bluff one. haha, people living in illusion should really wake up!

well, band has resumed. i think i would want to go for band is because i just need some form of entertainment. yar, some...but i think band is taking up too much of my time still. like for the past week i have been going back early on non-band days, then i realise i can really finish off my work and use prep time for revision. isn't that very helpful? then on band days i just doze off during prep, thinking that nevermind everything will be alright. what is this man? i don't know, i really don't know.

haiz, actually its not that i don't like band, its just that i feel screwed in my studies when i attend band. and hello, i have O levels lar, i can't possibly just screw up my results right? i don't know what i should feel now, its all getting so numb to me. maybe some of you all think that i am wrong, but please listen to me talking about what i think is right.

its just like the more you say you don't like, the more you care for it. i really try to balance, but i realise i couldn't. so irritating. i don't know le, cocked up in my brain up there. there are a lot of things waiting for me to do. oh yar, and i failed another chemistry test. i can jolly well prepare myself to get F9 in mid-years.

kae, have to go now.