Whatever I do, I hope that you will always be there for me.
It's really not up to me, I mean there are some things that
I just don't have the ability to change it.

a friend of mine has sent me a letter a few days ago. in the letter, she told me that her application for the sec three ASEAN scholarship has been rejected. this friend of mine is one of my tuition friend last time, she's rather strong in her studies during primary school days, yet she did not get in for the interview at that time. so, this is the second time she's trying and she failed once again.

she sounded bloody devastated in the letter, while what i can do was only to tell her not to be sad. because my story is ever sadder than hers, am i right in saying that?

three years ago I stepped into Crescent Girls' School for my ASEAN scholarship entrance test. later, i recieved a letter saying that i am in for the interview session. one week after my annual overseas trip to Australia, i recieved a letter saying that i've got the scholarship. then, on the 27th of december 2002, for the first time in my whole life, i stepped into Nanyang Boarding School, room A3-09. from that day onwards, i started my life as a scholarship holder studying in Nanyang Girls' High School.

two and a half years later, i recieved another letter from the MOE. to me, it seemed like a disaster. that letter stated that my scholarship will not be renewed from july 2004 onwards. after reading that letter, my life as a self-paying student started. it went on and on, on and on, until today, this second that you are reading my blog. along came with my self-paying life was more and more tuition classes, more and more nagging from my parents and more and more decisions that were not made by me. i was not allowed to attend band as usual, not allowed to care for the basses anymore and not allowed to argue with my parents over band.

everything changed so much after that. tiffany left the section, eugenia telling me that she can't perform for the end-of-year concert, EOY results and all the stuff. i began to back off, there are so much for me to care and think about, but my parents made all the decisions. they were the ones forcing me to attend tuition, come back home for revision and not going for band. i didn't choose to live my life like this, i swear i really didn't.

come to think of it, i start to learn about the reality that we must face every now and then. it's no longer about the passion, the dreams and the interest. it's about our responsibility as a student, getting good grades, performing up to task for our academic results. behind all these, it's about not to waste any of my dad's money put into my education. in this society, it's the cert that everybody cares, not about where is your passion, what is your dreams. honestly, i might be telling you that i love music but i don't play or practise any musical instrument. interest and hobbies are just decorative items in our lives, they are not everything.

guess my mind is thinking in a very wierd way today, because i am blogging about all these stuff but it's true! won't your parents tell you the same thing? at least that's what my parents tell me. i guess sometimes we ought to think of all these, a cert versus our passion. maybe what i should say is that dreams are unrealistic while we can never escape from reality. i hope that whatever i am doing now is right, because i've paid a very high price to do so. at this very high price, i guess i've sacrificed some of your trust in me but i really hope that you can put yourself into my shoes and think from my point of view. it's not easy being me, seriously.

i think maybe it's good in some ways for my friend not to take up the scholarship. it'll definately save her from these troubles. as for me, i've fallen into this extremely dark hole filled with lots of needles. i feel the pain while the needle poke into me, but i'll try as hard as i can to get out of this hole. no matter what it takes, i'll try my best to be myself. and i hope that you can help me, will you?

there are many things in our lives that we can't choose, there will always be many factors affecting your choice, resulting in us choosing what we do not want.

i am really sorry to some of you out there for some of my decisions made. guess i can only say so because there are so many things that i didn't choose it myself. really, sorry!

holidays are finally here, wow! my holiday schedule is so bloody pack larh, so guess i don't have much time to play and relax larh. nvm, next year i'll be so happy after my Os. lalala!

kaez, hello everybody, esp those who just came back from respective places. yar, my WEP ended also, quite relieved lar, judging from my pay and work to be done. however, i still like the place. Exklusiv Auto, what a nice place. *Note:any sec 4s that want to earn extra pocket money, can go and work there. hourly rate, $5.50 and above per hour. general filing.

well, many things happened these days lar, got happy ones and also sad ones. shall blog again another day. actually, this entry is to keep this blog 'alive'. yar, just go and thing about the first few sentences larh, i mean it hor!

bye bye, muacks, hugs and kisses to you guys out there.

lalala, I'm back! Yay, this is the first time i am using the hostel's wireless to blog lerh, so cool sial, budden the whole system very very very slow lar, i think maybe it has something to do with this lao pok labtop of mine. Anyway, i am so gonna reformat it, if not i think i'll suffer manz.

haha, ok, first i hafta wish myself all the best for my O level Chinese Paper, my WEP, band camp, Appasionata VIII, then my so-called PERFECT holiday revision plan and most importantly my SEC 4! Argh, everything is comin so quickly that i couldn't take it!

ok, next i would like to say thank you to the following people: Sharon and Eevien for always being there for me whenever i need them, YannerZhen and Magic Queen for being such a GOOD bm and dm, Ying Xu for rotting with me and wasting time with me everytime i feel empty in my heart, Yvonne and Fang Xuan and 3/12 for being such a good class, erm...erm...i think still got a lot lerhz...i continue another day lar.

oh fine, now i feel damn screwed up again. you wanna noe why, let me tell you. it is because i just received a very 'NICE' phone call from my parents. oh well, sometimes i really carn understand their thoughts lorh, i've been reflecting on my results and feeling so bad that i was so lan, and all they say was like this,"you are satisfied with what you are getting now larh?no need to improve liao lar?go for band lor, go for your whatever concert lor, since your family not important already liao." it's kinda like translated lar, but what they wanted to say was just as bad, if not even hurting than that.fine lar, yar, i am satisfied to be promoted to sec 4, *my foot ar*, i very smart already, no need for me to study liao, can everyday do my own stuff liao...is that what they want me to say? i think i've got very unreasonable parents. yar, *totally agree*.

again, all thanks to my parents, i haf only three chances to come for band during the holidays, and that includes my concert. so i guess i'll be coming for band camp, the workshop thingy and of course, the concert. it is so irritating but since my results are so bad now, i better listen to my parents and go get some full-day tuition kinda stuff. in conclusion, no more extra time for me! i think my parents are really unreasonable, they just want me to keep away from band if not they threaten to transfer me back to m'sia to further my studies. i mean like hey, i've been surviving good enough down here in s'pore is all because of band lor. how can they actually do this to me?

haiz, now i am really in a very very bad mood. if they think what they are doing is really good to me, then do lar. anyway they don't trust me anymore what. i lost my parent's trust, my phone, my marks, my s'ship, my freedom, my interest and myself this year. i've never felt like this before, being so empty that i can seriously feel nothing in me. probably the only thing that can do me well and fill up the emptiness in my heart is good grades, according to my parents larh. so i guess i'll just follow tem lor, who ask me to bring myself to this kind of terrible state myself?

haiyo, my results are so bad that i don't dare to say that i am a NY gal. is that what my parents want me to say? i think so. maybe i should say that to them the next time i see them. well, then probably i'll get slapped and stuff. WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?i've given you all my stuff, i gave up band, i gave up my time, i gave up my interest, i gave up me LIFE to you, so what the heck do you want some more?

argh, sickening life! Life sucks, i guess it's better in my dreams. good nitez.

hello everybody out there, i hope you guys are mugging and working hard for your EOYs. well, me being me, still slacking and blogging at this time deserve a stab on my back and die.

you know what?! the hostel's wireless is ready now, that's why you see me online more frequently nowadays. maybe its a good news afterall, as compared to those other things that is happening around me.

yar, many things've happened. i don't know what to say about all those things but i simply feel sick of life! yar, sick of it as in wanting to die at any point of time. life just suck for me, i guess that's the conclusion of the day yar.

tiffany left Nanyang, so my section is left with me and eugenia. sad to say, but i really don't think it makes any difference anymore. i mean like after my parents have made the 'pact' with me, i couldn't be bothered about anything other than my studies now. however, my passion and feelings for band cannot just hide under my skin, i am worried. in front of my parents, i can just say that i am not gonna care anymore, but the more i say, the more worried i get. SYF's next year. look at eugenia's standard, look at the section's standard, most importantly, look at my standard. it's no longer about getting a gold or not, it's about can i even participate in the next SYF.

heyo,helow everybody, i am back!

haha, kinda relaxed nox, coz all the tests passed liao...and i am scoring quite OK in all my work.so, happy!

doink,haha, this is the last week of term three, which means that EOY is coming soon, but nvm, coz i've started studying liao. anyway, just to pop by and make sure that this blog is not frozen or dead.haha, tataa!

harlowz...it has been a very long time since i last update this blog. well, as usual, i am quite busy nowadays.

i have a lot to say in this post, so if you are interested, just continue reading, if not, no harm exitting this blog.

first thing, I LOST MY PHONE AGAIN! yar, i lost my nokia 7250i. well, it just din like me and decided to leave me. i am still not use to days without it, but since it left me, well, guess that's fate. i am now deciding on another new phone, probably a cheap one, and i promise never to lost it. the thing that i am glad is that i am not being scolded a lot, just being pumped in some sense yar, so that's alright. i admit that it's my fault for not keeping the phone properly, so it's all my fault.

haha, such a stupid month i've had, i was sick, i went to redo my student's pass, i lost my phone, and stuff. i think i've had a very very very bad month. however, i would like to thank those that cheered me up, like for example, fang xuan made a 'smiley' card for me, and many actually talked me out. thank you to all, i'll try to cheer up really soon.

next, i would like to tell you that i was really happy yesterday, 30/7/04. this is because JJ lin jun jie came to our school and put up a great performance. this actually cheered me up because it's my first time seeing a star in front of me, looking into our eyes and stuff. it was so exciting, and i had a great time listening to his concert. after that, i went to the library to get him sign my CD. i shook his hands and told him, "JJ,wo3 ai4 ni3!" then i went away. it was so embarrasing but i think it's damn fun.

ok, finish talking about all these happy things, i gonna talk about sonething unpleasant. i think i gonna fail my chem and physics test this week. i hope i pass my a maths test though, and hopefully i'll pass my lit too.haha, in order to pass my tests, of course i must put in my hard work, shall go and study after this...haha...

oh yar, by the way, band gonna have bbq this coming sat at yasi's house. i am so excited over it, same as magic queen. haha, shall leave here. best wishes to everybody!

harlow the world...i have something to say...something very important.

Please forgive me for not attending band practise. My scholarship is now taken away and therefore my parents think that I will have to cut down on my CCA time if I still want to remain in Nanyang as a self-paying student. However,I am being offered the Merit award, allowing me to pay local school fees and waiving the donation towards the education fund. In conclusion, after band fiesta, which is starting from 12th July 2004 onwards, I can attend only 1 band practise every week. Yar, this is all I have to say.

well, i am not sure if i am goin to play for this year's concert, i'll try my very best to persuade my parents, but no 100% gurantee. sorry, basses, i want to do my very best but it's no longer up to me. be good, there'll be a lot of seniors wanting you guys to prove your standards, so, jia you!

this is a rubbish post, but since i've typed it, shall post it anyway.bye.

How to make a wYwY

Ingredients: 5 parts mercy 1 part self-sufficiency 1 part energy

Method: Stir together in a glass tumbler with a salted rim. Add lovability to taste! Do not overindulge!

Username:

Personality cocktail
From Go-Quiz.com

well, i just got this from yanyun's blog. maybe it's true, i dunno. haha, it's fun though.let's try another one...

How to make a Wy Quin

Ingredients: 1 part anger 5 parts crazyiness 3 parts mercy

Method: Blend at a low speed for 30 seconds. Serve with a slice of caring and a pinch of salt. Yum!

Username:

Personality cocktail
From Go-Quiz.com

ok...shall not play around anymore. haha, bye!

something bad has just happened.i recieved my letter.my s'ship will NOT be renewed.

i don't think i am feeling anything now, i mean, what's the point of holding on to some facts and never accept it, right? the thing i should do now is to finish my holiday homework and to enjoy the last few days of my holidays. i should prepare for a new semester as a self-paying student in ny. yar, i am staying, but i'll have to quit band. nvm, quitting band isn't that bad either, as long as it can help me in my studies.

yining, you're right, 5 years down the road i'll probably forget the fact that i was a tuba player in nanyang concert band. the band will still go on without me, so what's there that is holding me back?

however, on second thought, the thing that i could not let go is my passion for band and my heart that is in it. well, i think as long as i can still hear it play national anthem well and go for it's concert, i think that's enough already.

at this point of time, i really think that i should concentrate in my studies and get through my 'O' levels, that's the main aim for me studying in s'pore. whether i am a bander or not, i don't think that makes a difference anymore.

well, after changing my mind set, i think i should start working towords my final goal already.

i don't know why i typed this, but i think all these are what i should do know. so, what's there to be sad about, right?

haha, tml is band outing liao, i should be happy and excited now...

ok, shall stop here and keep on going liao. hope i can finish all my homework by today. good luck to me and everybody that is doing their homework now! bye!

i've been missing band for a very long period.guess many has actually forgotten me already.that's good, because i am gonna leave band soon. don't ask me why, my results are just that bad...

basses, i am really sorry. i hope one of you all can actually take up the duty as a SL and bring the section to greater heights. you guys are gonna have juniors next year, so please make use of your time this year and practise hard. i would like you guys to prove your standards during all performances and concerts. in particularly, i hope that you guys can keep up with the band, don't drag the band's standard down. i've spent most of my efforts in this section, don't let me down, kae?

judy and yining are not going for band practise anymore, i carn go anymore also, i guess basses will resume its status as the smallest section in the band. however, small doesn't mean that it could not be heard. the basses must maintain their standards and prove to others that we are important. jia you!!!

i don't wanna make anybody feel sad or anything. i just don't wanna leave the band without telling you guys anything. to some of you that does not understand anything, please don't bother understanding it. i'll tell you when i think i should tell you. to those that knows about it, i am sorry to say that what i've been telling you guys might be true. well, be prepared for the worst, that's what i've to say.

pple that doesn't understand this entry, don't bother about it, it's not sth important, it's just sth about me that you'll soon know.

ok, shall stop here, update another time.

i am very bored now...very very bored...i have no mood for anything...no mood...

haiz...why am i leading such a sad life??? i dunno, maybe you can answer that for me. haha, what rubbish, there are a lot of things in life that we must go and find it. like finding the answer to why am i me??? haha...i think the only thing that i can do now is to crap...haha...

i wanna remain in nanyang, not because i love that school, nobody says that i love that school, nor i hate that school. there are some things in nanyang that i carn find elsewhere, things like nycb,2/1'03,3/12'04...i really dun wanna leave, but can i not leave???*sighz*

anyway...i've completed almost 2/3 of my holiday homework. started my revision long time ago. can you believe that my parents actually made me study for at least 6 hrs a day, throughout the whole holiday??? and the thing is i actually did that for the past five days.OMG, such a great achievement.

haha, actually suppo to do work now, but somehow anyhow i am very bored, really dun feel like seeing books. and thus *poof* here am i trying to waste my time. i think i am really out of my mind. haiz...sianz...sianz...SIANZZZZZZ...

anyway, i dun like myself anymore, i start to realize that i'm actually nothing, no one, not important...haiz...i dun like myself!!! suddenly i feel that this world is so dry, so dead...haiz...what's the problem with me ar???

anyway, probably i dun feel like myself because i did not go for band today. i really wanna go, but i carn, so sad. i wonder how's my section getting along.i really miss band, the music and the people.

ok, hafta go now...i dunno why i'm publishing such a saddist post, but i guess since i've created it, why delete it, rite???

ok, really gotta go, bye!

can anybody please tell me what to do???

my parents are telling me now that if i want to study in singapore, there is one condition where by i must obey, and that is not to join band as my CCA. i mean like what the hell, if i don't join band then i might as well come back and study in malaysia right???

i don't think my parents actually understand me, by quitting band it's like taking my soul away, and i'll be left with only an empty shell.i really don't want to leave band, i don't want to, not because of anything else but my passion for band.if it wasn't because of band, i would have quitted nanyang a thousand years ago.

i am very lost now...feeling damn helpless...i don't want anything to happen, i hope and pray that everything can remain the way it is, but deep in my heart i know that its quite impossible...i've in my whole fifteen years never experience anything like this before...feeling that my life are in the hands of others...

very very puzzled now...guess i have no mood talking about anything now...bye...

what will you do if you are forced to let go of certain things in life???

haha...harlows everybody...i am at home now...gonna eat dinner soon,den going back to the hostel later...

well, i have been bucking up lately...hope that my results will show...hope that everything will pass soon...i dunno whether i'll stand or fall after this storm...

anyway, the basses section is still in a great mess now...i dunno lar...just washed an instrument that day...it was a though job in general...haha...but we still manage to do it...the water was black lor...disgusting...poor eugenia has got to use that instrument...haiz...

yar...as i've said in front, i need to buck up in my studies...so i might not be able to attend every band practise liao...i know that it's wrong lar, and also my section will not make it...but it will be a short period only...so guess you guys hafta excuse me lor...it's better for me to skip a few than not going anymore right???

sorry ar...gotta go liao...daddy's back...need to eat dinner now...update another day!!!

buaizzz...muacks...love and kisses to everyone...haha...

sorry peep...in a mess now...just changed my template...will amend everything soon...i promise...

haha...i just came back from sick bay...haha...yar...i'm sick!!!

< yx here.. haha.. juz to create disorder!!>

anyway...yar...i'm still in school...feeling lost...haha...probably that's the feeling of being sick...haha...

i took over the basses section last saturday, 170404.din wanna be a SL, coz i think it's damn stressful to lead the section.i just scolded tiffany this morning before and after national anthem.i dunno why, it just seem to me that she never even put in any effort. she seems as if she is fine with her progress and that she doesn't need to improve anymore.this is total rubbish.i thought it would be nicer if i let her go on judy's instrument rather than eugenia using it,coz that instrument produces nicer sound and is easier to pitch notes.however, what she showed me this morning was terrible.i dun even think that she qualifies to play with the band lor...

the sec 4s left liao...so sad...judy...i bu4 she3 de2 ni3...miss you lots...yining too...really miss you guys...it's not even the first band prac and yet i miss you lots liao...also...judy,i need you to tell me what shud i do with tiff and eugenia.i understand finally why it is so stressful to lead the section.ms chong wans all sec 4s to play for concert this year!!and i need you guys too!!so will you change your mind?

anyway,yar...choon yee say that i must blog about her...haha...3/12 is so nice...i think i start to go more towards 3/12 than band liao...the section is so messed up...haiz...make me sad only.well, guess i must acknowledge libing and choon yee as my two baobei daughters...haha...well...they are all so guai...haha...and wei ting is their daddy...*??????*haha...quite confusing actually...coz my sister is wei ting's mother...den my lao gong is her...haha...crazy...weird family afterall...

finished abt 3/12...time to talk abt 2/1 and the kong3 jia1...eh,what happened to you guys arh???all died during recess issit???now only left with me and kylie.sad =( anyway, i miss 2/1 a lot...really miss the days we had together...and ms grace tan, i miss you!!!i miss everybody in 2/1 and also the teachers that thought us before.

my section and band again...so fan2, i wanna ponteng liao lar...so messy and so luan4...i dun like...i dunno lar...thinking of training eugenia for national anthem.tiffany just cannot make it if i'm not ard lor.i dunno what to do liao...so damn sianz...

anyway...haven congrats yan zhen for being the BM...love you lots...sure can do a good job one...haha...finally the BM post is back to the basses and baritones section liao...haha...after jinli and amanda...haha...kae...i toking rubbish...got headache...so shall go and rest liao...

i miss daniel...i miss mabel...i miss kia ying...i miss............

kaez...shall stop here...

replying those who tagged...
eh val...i'll miss you lar...
hi celine...nice to see you here...
hello weiting...yar...so fun sittin with you...
eh,yining, now i like judy liao lar...
choon yee...hellowz...you and your sister
better behave hor...
yx...yoz...no time how to update???
yanyun...being a SL suck...i dun like!!!

boo!!in school now...haha...nothin much...just wanna say hi to you guys coz i haven been updating lately...haha...ok...gonna republish this blog soon...yup, soon...arhem...probably before june...haha...den gonna put the long long entries in...yar...anyway...very sad now...coz i owe the teachers a lotsa work...so gonna work harder...haha...

anyway...elections is on next tuesday...haha...so fun...too bad i haf cai's lesson again...so gonna miss part of it...anyway...judy says that being in the com sux...haha...i guess so...but anyway...i finally understood some of judy's thoughts and actions...guess it'll really help us...haha...to think of how i use to dislike her last time...haha...and now i am actually gonna miss her...*sobs*really dun wan the s4s to leave...but i think judy and yining praying for passing down to come faster...and i bet they wun cum back so often one...haiz...

yar...yanyun...also bu4 she3 de2 you...you haf been a fun and caring senior to me...haha...so must remember to hui2 lai2 kaez??haha...

ok...shall stop here for this time...guess this is the shortest entry i have ever written...but anyway...i am busy mar...haha...ok...bye...

p.s.: daniel comin back tml!!!must watch every guy that comes to school tml and take note of daniel kaez???yar...ok...coz we all love daniel...*doinks*

kaez...really gotta go liaoz...bye...

hello everybody...i am at home now!!!haha...damn happy...let me tell you why...b'coz i am happie!!!

haha...ok...1st things 1st, i would like to welcome eugenia to my section...basses has grown from 4 to 5...haha...she is a potential tuba player...very good...so that i wun die for nxt year's syf...haha...happy...ok...haiz...on second thoughts...another person in my section means that i will have to improve and set a better example...so that the section can further improve...ok...let me tell everyone of you who are reading now...i will make it!!!the sec 1s are comin on tues...i think i'll get another junior lor...haha...den the basses will be so fun!!!

ok...gonna have sectionals on tuesday...gonna be late be'coz of cai's lesson...haha...who cares about her lor...haiz...got national anthem tml...sianzzz...coz cannot play after that...haiz...tml gonna do lotsa revision...die...tonight gonna go back and rush my work...haha...

anyway...let me tell you all sth...3/12 rox!!!ok...changing places tml...and i am gonna sit in front of the board...so i guess no more sleepin liao...sad...sad...nvm lar...let me be a guai student for once...haha...can you actually believe that???haha...so farnie rite...but that is what i am gonna do...starting from tml onwards...haha...that's really what i m gonna do lor...must believe me...

haha...i think i am spending too much these days...die...how???i wish that money drops from the sky...haha...tt'll be so cool...haha...*hint* my birthday wish list is up now!!!* ... haha...anyway...my birthday is on the 17th march...the wednesday after my OBS...wah carn wait for it...anyway...forgot to say...the band, nycb, has a public performance at sentosa on the 7th of february near the musical fountain there...please go and support me!!!haha...

can you imagine how is my life now lor...got lotsa tests...section stuff...den got OBS...die...dying...dead...haha...anyway...i think sec 3 life is not that bad after all lah...haha...dunno...maybe the worst haven come yet...haha...this year got quite a few concerts...gonna have a casual concert in june...den got appasionata VII...haha...

erm...erm...oh yar...we forming quite lotsa small ensembles...preparing for the casual concert...gonna be so fun lor...talking about concerts...i am goin for the RJC concert on the 17th of february...haha...they are gonna play noah's arc...shud be nice...too bad yining carn go...it'll be the basses, baritones and bones outing...fun yeah...haha...was encouraged to watch more concerts this year...think gonna spend a lot of money again...haizzz...no money no talk lar...

ok...i shall go and work out my birthday wish list...tata...muacks...love to the world...love to you too!!!

harlow the world...haven been updating this blog for god noes how long...you noe...school work is terrible...haha...tt's why...my schedule is packed up lor...haha...so i think i can only upload every monthly???or fortnightly...maybe...i'll think about this...haha...

ok...i dunno what to talk about ler...there's so much to talk about...ok...1st things 1st...I M GOING TO GENTING HIGHLANDS TML!!!ok...i am goin to guo1 nian2 there...haha...stayin in ria apartment for 2 nights...haha...it's gonna be so fun...ok...but i'll hafta finish my homework first...i think tt's impossible lor...haha...

ok...can talk about the concert we had on the 10th of january...haha...i think it wasn't tt bad lar...haha...i think as long as everyone did their best then it's the best liao...haha...i was very high that day...den after the concert the whole band played Fate of the Gods for fun...haha...the happy thing is that my C is not out of tune!!!haha...i am so proud of myself lor...ok...i am SIAO!!!bleah...too bad tiff din participate in the concert this time...ok...nvm...i'll make sure that you can play for the next concert k???haha...but you'll hafta work hard oso lar...haha...

ok...thanks yining, judy, nicholas, huitian, siqi, karen(my date), sunyang, stella for your flowers & gifts...muacks...haha...i loved it very much..haha...thank you...hope everybody enjoyed the concert!!!no matter you are an audience or a performer...haha...actually...i wasn't that happy with my standard...ok...shall work harder for the next concert...i'll prove to you guys that i can do it!!!haha...

well...my scholarship is currently on conditional renewal...meaning that i'll hafta work extra harder...haha...doin researches now...on both Tsar Nicholas II and also the America War of Independence...die...i am fainting reading all these reports lor...ok...must bear with it...CNY is comin...must finish it!!!

ok...basically...my life is like broken/shattered pieces of glass...i think i am gradually piecing it up togather liao...not that hard...but it's still hard lar...i'll do my best...for i must prove that i can still stand firmly after the storm...haha...to all of you...hope that you guys can stand firmly too!!!

ok...now it's the first time that i feel damn tired...until my eyes carn be opened anymore without eye moist...haiz...think i'll blog another time this month...hopefully...ok...buaizzz...love and hugs and kisses to whoever that is reading...haha...happie chinese new year...gong1 xi3 fa1 cai2, hong2 bao1 na3 lai2!!!haha...