Sign of the Times...

As we approach the Christmas season, I sit back and think about the year that is almost over. So many changes, both personally and for our nation as a whole. We voted in a new President, filled with promises as they all make, Before getting into office. We have all watched our nation go through changes and though I would not lay all of our economic issues on One man, certainly we have NOT done better so far. We still have more men than I care to count over seas, Not coming home to be with their families this Christmas. That is huge to me. I am a Veteran and I understand fully the need to protect our land. I do NOT understand our precious men and women still not home. But... this is not about that issue today. So I will move on. This is about the economy and Christmas.
I know that times have changed from last year and that so many families are feeling the effects of the nations woes this season. I watched friends and family alike lose their jobs to another country. My own family is feeling the effects of the nations ignorance and greed. To save money, to make a bigger profit that will NOT be passed on to the workers that truly are the back-bone of any company that exists today. Neighbors that watched their jobs that they had given 20 years to, be sent to Mexico and other countries, leaving them jobless, will feel the impact this season.
I wonder why it is so hard for "intelligent" people, men and women that call themselves smart and American, to figure out that if you send our work to other countries, We as a nation will NEVER, EVER come out on top. People, the big boys up top will pad their pockets and will even give a "Token" amount to charity, but the people that made them what they are today, will not see those pluses to sending our work else-where. I wonder sometimes where it will really all settle out.
When presents are unwrapped this year, there will be a few less to open. There will be those left un-opened, waiting for loved ones to come home. There will be families that will talk to their loved ones Via satellite, the Internet... some other way than face to face. And there will be OTHER countries that smile and celebrate the good fortune of another country, our country, handing them what used to be ours. I wonder what our President and his cabinet will think, Our Congress and all the leaders that have allowed this too happen will think when we no longer need any of them because there is nothing left here to govern.
I am an American and I love this country! I am intelligent enough to know what should be and what really just shouldn't be. I wish only the best things for this land and Still believe that the people will one day stand up and find a way to Not allow this to happen anymore. A new year is coming and we as a nation, need to stand together, support our loved ones over seas, whether we agree or don't agree with the war... And make our home a better place. A Place with out Hunger or strife amongst our selves.
And then my daughter steps in and truly puts it all into perspective, concerning the Christmas Season. And I quote... "If it is really about the presents or lack of presents, Daddy...then maybe we needed something to remind us what Christmas is really about. It's about peace and love and the birth of our saviour."
Woww, she really knows how to make one think... Thank you for that, Shannon.

SHOPWIKI.COM,forALLofyourcomputerneeds.com

When searching for that new computer, whether it is for your personal use, an office computer or a gift for someone special, you need look no further than SHOPWIKI.Com. This on-line store doesn't just offer computers and all of the software that goes with it. Shopwiki.com takes their computers and their customers needs very seriously. Computers ranging from the home desktop PC to Laptops to a Mac are all available at the touch of a key. Budget PC's, Workhorse and High performance PC's are offered at Shopwiki. Depending on your specific needs, the shop will walk you through each PC and show you exactly what they have to offer you. Helping you decide if a Desktop or Laptop is the right choice for you, shopwiki goes the extra mile to aide in your decision.
Adding to the reasons that "shopwiki.com" should be your First and last stop for your computer needs is their features displaying each computer for you. They also detail what each computer is capable of doing. How much of the tasks you need to accomplish each type and size of computer can do is also included in this on-line store. Computer terms you may not be familiar with are included as well as the names of the manufactures that make them. All of the Specs are a keyboard away.
A visit to shopwiki.com will benefit the new PC user as well as the veteran. Your questions answered, you will come away fully equipped with the knowledge of what you need and how to obtain it. Shopwiki.com doesn't simply want to sell you a computer. They want to sell you the RIGHT computer for your needs.

agent Query Connect... the place to find your writers needs.

Agent Query Connect is an on-line site, created to help authors reach out to one another. The site offers avenues for writers to find agents and publishers as well as a place to connect with other authors. There are chat rooms so that you can converse with the people you need to know to succeed in the very competitive market of writing. For whatever your needs are concerning writing, you will want Agent Query Connect in your library of "things to have."

Your One Stop Spot for Auto Insurance

When Looking for a href="http://www.automobileinsurance.me/">">auto insurance, you will find everything you need under one URL. AutoInsurance.ME! is your one stop site for what ever you are looking for in an auto insurance policy. Knowledge is the key to finding the policy that is right for your specific needs. From liability to collision to comprehensive coverage, everything you need to know is right in front of you. AutoInsurance.ME! takes you through the plans with ease and allows you to become educated in what you need to know about coverage.
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Great Christmas Gift Idea

If you are looking for a great Christmas Gift, look no further. My novels, Abduction and Until Death Do We Meet will make excellent gifts for that suspense reader on your Christmas list. Normally they sell for 20.00 dollars each. Purchase them as a Christmas gift and you can get them both together for 35.00 dollars. That's a five dollar savings to you... an extra stocking stuffer or roll of film for keeping memories.
With each order you will receive the novels, autographed YOUR way, along with a CD of easy listening music, written and recorded by me titled "SimplyD". In the U.S., I pay all shipping costs.For overseas, add 15.00 dollars for shipping. Get them now so that you will have them in plenty of time Christmas.
From me to you, I wish you all a safe and memorable Holiday season, now and throughout the New year. Thank you, Darrel.

Soldiers... here and gone.

Today is Veterans Day. A day set aside to honor and to remember the brave men and women who have or are protecting our country. We take a moment out of our busy lives and have parades and school plays and bands playing the National Anthem to pay homage to the wonderful soldiers that have layed down there lives to keep our country free. Today i went to concert at our local school. From kindergarten to the High school, every grade honored our veterans. They sang songs about our Flag and told in beautiful voices how beautiful our country is. From "Your a Grand Ole' Flag" to "Oh Beautiful", I felt the spirit of our Homeland being Honored. The Band played the Theme of each one of the services and as each Branch was played, the veterans of that branch were asked to stand and be recognised. I felt such a pride as the United States Air force Theme was played.
At the end, as 120 students paraded past the audience, each carrying a U.S. Flag, the song by Lee Greenwood, "I am Proud To Be An American" was being played.
Today, I stopped and really thought about what it means to be an American. It means loving and honoring your country. It means standing up for your country and defending it whether by words or weapons. It stands for being free and the knowledge that we are only free because of the men and women that have stood and paid the price for or freedom. The brave people that have fought for this country against every adversary that one could imagine. Leaving this land to go to places they have never seen before... some that they had never "heard" of until they landed on their soil. Leaving their families behind to stop the enemy from getting close enough to harm this land we call home.
I sit and think of the causes we have fought to keep, both here and abroad. The Right to freedom of religion. The right to bear arms to defend our selves. And then I thought of the "right of Freedom of Speech" and my heart saddened a bit. I thought about things I have heard "fellow" Americans say about our men, our country and the war we fight right now in Iraq. A war that for whatever reasons we are fighting, whether it be to defend against terrorists or free a people from Tyranny, we are in it. Freedom of Speech is not limited here in America. There are few rules to govern what we say aloud. What a shame that there might need to be.
To be an American to me, does NOT mean you can talk down your country. It does not mean you have the right to speak badly of our soldiers or what they are doing. They are doing what they were told to do. I think that being an American means that whether we agree or we simply agree to disagree, we show support for our soldiers. They are after all the reason we are living in a land that IS Free. I am thankful for each and every man and woman that has stood up to defend our Honor and our way of life. I sleep sound because they are there. And as for me and those in my house, I say THANK YOU, from the deepest parts of my heart to every single soul that has ever fought to defend my freedom. God Bless America ,,, And God, watch over our troops. They are just Angels in Uniform.

Purpose... Is it a Must for Surival?

Purpose... such a strong word. Purpose is the reason for an action being done, an object existing or being made or used. Purpose can be synonymous with the goal or the intended result of an action. It means to be here on earth for a reason. Something bigger than just existing. To go through life with out ever serving a purpose, without ever reaching out to someone to help them to me, is a wasted life time. So many are in need of someone to touch their lives and help them in some way. Many that have no idea how to ask. The rewards that come with helping someone, with knowing your purpose is immeasurable. For some... it is their only means to survive in this world.
This being said, what happens when you can no longer find your purpose? What changes in your world when the reason you got up every single morning leaves? And where do you go when even those around you don't truly need your help? They are totally able to care for themselves. Walking through life with a "care-givers" soul, it is difficult at times to find reason for even being, existing. The purposes we have in this world are what give us the motivation to get out of bed and start the day. It begins as soon as we open our eyes. We focus and even look forward to the day, existing with the knowledge that today... someone, somewhere is going to or already Does need you.
Suddenly, you wake one day and find yourself searching for that Purpose. Looking through your life and at those around you, you strive to reach into each one of them and find a Need. I knew for ever it seems what my purpose was. I reached out o so many and helped them along their journey through life. While I was helping them, they were also helping me in more ways than I knew sometimes. They were saving me while I was saving them. And some, sadly, I let down. I failed them as a friend and as someone they loved and cherished. Too busy with life and yet as mixed up as it sounds, I should have been busy with their life. My "Purpose" and I let them slip away, leaving them alone and without encouragement. When you surround yourself with people in need and suddenly that "need" is gone, where does that leave you???
The need to help someone, the desire to have purpose I think is a survival mode inside. I don't know if everyone has it with in them. Perhaps there are those that can survive without a real purpose. What I know is this. people are placed in our lives many times for a reason. A Purpose, They come into our lives, sometimes only for a season. When the purpose for them being in our lives is found and that purpose has been fulfilled, they may simply move on. But forever, they are embedded, bonded to your life and memory for the rest of your life. Someone else will fill their spot or you, will fill a spot in someone else's life. The blessings filling your life with a reason to be.
When you suddenly wake and realize you don't know what your purpose is, it is a terribly frightening place to find ones self. It can absolutely leave you feeling worthless. The search goes on to find my purpose in this world that surrounds me. I truly hope that I find it soon, before it destroys me and my world.

Being an Empath... The Feelings of Others.

Before I begin, you need to know what an Empath is. The definition link will tell you the answer, but I think there is so much more. The ability to feel other peoples or even animals emotions is not something I would easily call a "gift" as such. That is not to call it a curse either but perhaps something more in between. The fact that one can take on the sadness or happiness of those around them can be a bit of both. Being psychically tuned in to the emotional experiences of a person brings on a deeper realm of each and every emotion. Although the "good" feelings are stronger, the sadness and horror harbored inside a persons soul is also stronger, more intense.
It was many years ago that I felt the sadness and excitement of people around me. In the beginning, long before I had even heard the word "Empath", it was only those closest to me that I could feel. Even more so, it was those that I felt a sadness for that truly found their way into my mind and my heart. I had not a clue what caused these feelings nor why I seemed to be the only one that could feel them. I smiled at happiness that was not my own. I felt inside that anyone elses smiles were just as much mine. The same had to be said about their sorrow and their loneliness. I could feel the emotions finding a deeper place inside of me as time went on. When I did realize, more was shown that I was an Empath, though it made more sense, the feelings continued to increase. I found ways to channel the feelings so that they were not so intense at times. Especially when it was no longer just those closest to me that I felt.
But I truly write today because of something else I noticed. Maybe learned is a better word. it has everything to do with the emotions i have been talking about. The ones that invade my mind without invitation and send me into a huge tumble. It was the knowledge that it didn't nor does it now matter the intensity of my own sorrows. That the reason they were so often pushed aside for others feelings was that it was and remains more important to see others happy. the happier and more content those I love and am surrounded by, the less sorrow I have to endure for them. The sadness that so many experience is sometimes nearly unbearable for me. I want at times to talk about it with them but there is a fear in me that screams out that if I do that, it will bring it to the surface. This will only guarantee me that the pain will be strong. Powerful enough I believe at times that it could destroy me.
Funny thing, not being afraid so much as to what your own sorrow will do to you as much as you fear what others pain will do to you. Looking at someone, even at a glance, and feeling your whole being fill with sadness is something few imagine and fewer want to. Crying inside and outside for sins you didn't cause but feel inside, none the less. And the knowing that the sadness that is felt is sometimes multiplied by the already too real sorrows of your own past. This... is he life of an Empath. No frills. No balloons or whistles. Just the sounds and the feelings of everyone that walks by you... AM I alone on this one? I doubt it seriously. Darrel

Am I forgetting????

This morning I sit and write in sadness. My night was short or long, depending on how you see it. My sleep was over-taken by dreams that caused me to cry out in the night. I woke with tears streaming down my face at the memories of what I had dreamed in the night. And I woke up afraid. Not because the dreams were nightmares. I woke afraid because they were so real and made me wonder what they meant. It was at any rate a very long night.
3 years and 8 months ago, my entire life changed. Everything I knew, every reason I got up in the morning... changed. Sheila and I had been together for almost 25 years. Our daughters were grown and our life different for certain but still filled with Love and caring and a forever that was to travel the miles from earth to heaven and back down to earth. It was a love that had seen so much sickness and so many hospital rooms. We walked through fires hand and hand and nursed one an others burns when we came out the other side. And this love saw a man broken, lost and breaking the heart of the very woman he had pledged his life too. A Man that no longer felt he was worthy of this Angels love and so he stepped out, thinking it was she that would one day leave him.
3 years and 8 months later, I wake with tears and sadness at realizing that she would have never left me. I stayed at her side to the day she went to heaven, never walking far away from her. We kissed good morning and kissed good night every single day of our life together. We whispered our "I love you's" and spoke them out loud even after I had done her so wrong. I still tell her I love her and know she hears me say it. I will always say it.
After nearly 4 years, loving someone new and feeling contentment at where my life is, still, I dream of Sheila. Mostly good things and wonderful memories. But that was not last night. Not unhappy where I am, I wondered why the dreams last night were so different, so hard.The sorrow and tears were so strong and real and I sat today, questioning why. I dreamed of her in her wheelchair, alone. I found her and cuddled with her and told her how Much I loved her. I waited in the dream for doctors to come and make her better. I called to them aloud in my dreams. I woke myself, calling out her name. Telling the empty air that I could not see her... I could not find her. I ached to know the feel of her tiny hand on mine just once more. I strained to hear her voice and prayed I would remember the sound when I woke. But, I didn't. I reached out to touch her and she wasn't there. But I heard her small tiny voice say so gently to me, "I am not gone, Love. I am right there in your heart, right where I have always been."
Fear? What am I afraid of today? I am afraid that I am forgetting her. I am so scared that I am leaving her behind somewhere because I am living a new life. I fear that God may not know me when I go because of the hurt I caused Sheila. Are these real fears? Yes! People will tell me it isn't a big deal or not to worry about it. They will say "you need to stay focused on the future" and I will nod. But in my heart, I will ask God to forgive me for what I did to her. I will ask him to remember the 24 years we spent together and all we stood by each other through. And I will thank him for the blessing of entrusting Sheila, who was sick from 1 year after we married until she went to heaven. A love... My Love that went too soon and left me without my having said All I wanted to and should have said to her.
Yes, I live each and every day with the guilt of what I did wrong. I pray silently that God will feel that the good far out-weighed the bad. The dreams will come again and I pray for strength to keep moving on with my new life, my new love. I cry even now because I don't want to forget her. I don't want to wake one morning and realize I have let her go away. I sit here crying because I Miss her so. And I wonder... Do I deserve to cry? I hope I am still allowed to cry for her. I remember all of our fun times and how hard we laughed as we went through our life together. And I pray once more that I am Not forgetting My Sheila.