sometimes u just gotta grab life by the balls...

status: single... and actually happy...

looking for: man... with job... preferable no kids (i'm flexible with this one, but you HAVE to have a good relationship with your child's mother... i don't do baby mama drama)... believes in God or a higher being... and is not crazy (not flexible with this one)

i'm really at a point where i don't have time for the bull... if you're not trying to start something substantial with me... i'm only gonna entertain you for so long...

most of the guys i have been dating might actually see themselves being with me... and they tend to express that to me in dull boring ways... but i guess right now i just can't see myself being with any of them... it's just two many red flags going up... way back when i use to ignore those... but now... i see them and just move on to the next one...

and while i'm not dealing with bull... what i am dealing with is apprehension and insecurity... in my eyes there's nothing wrong with apprehension... to me that's just God telling me that there's something wrong... and to move on... or to take my time and feel the situation out... but insecurity sometimes can keep you from missing out on your blessing...

the only two things i want right now out of life is: to be happy... no matter where God puts me... and for clarity... if i'm suppose to go right... i want to know that i'm suppose to go right... if i'm going left... i don't want to feel that i'm suppose to be going right...

there's just something that been tugging at my heart... sometimes it's a whisper... and sometimes it gets so loud that i can't focus on anything else... i just can't put my finger on what it is...

but i know one thing... i'm gonna enjoy this ride... and not worry about where it's gonna take me... grabbin life by the balls and not letting go... ;-)

Nola*

AYYYYYYYEEEEEEE

ahhhhh dating...

it freaking rocks right about now... taking it slow... not really worrying about anything... not fallin for just anyone... it's pretty good right now...

anywho... i'm really at a point where i'm really falling in love with myself... and it's really amazing... i see who i want and call who i want... and when i find myself not wanting to call or see anyone... the times when i'm alone... i really restore myself...

truth be told i've been needing to be like this for a while... this is the FIRST time i've been single since i was like 15... yeah... i'm for real...

so here i am... Tiffany... Bremby... Tiff Tiff... Nola... whatever u want to call me... here... i... am... lovin me... ;-)

Nola*

i have so much to be thankful for...

happy thanksgiving everyone!!!

it's sad that once a year i really sit down and reflect on how much i have to be thankful for... most of us including myself spend most of our time complaining about what we don't have and what we want we don't take the time to look at all that we have...

so i'm thankful for my friends... i'm thankful for my parents... i'm thankful for my faithful blog readers... i'm thankful for my friends... i'm thankful for my doggy... and i'm thankful for my job...

i'm thankful for my hard times... i'm thankful for the pain i've gone through in relationships... i'm thankful for rainy days... and i'm thankful for death... just as much as i'm thankful for life...

so on this day i want all of you guys to reflect on what your thankful for... good or bad...

take care!

Nola*

DID YA MISS ME?!

hey guys... i know it's been a minute... just been working... (got a second gig now... WHAT UP WHOLE FOODS!) and living... and a little lovin' here and there... lol...


so... lets get to it...

the reason i took a break was because i was at a point were i just felt broken (mentally)... not to say that i'm not still a little damaged... but let me put it like this... i'm walking around on a sprained ankle... i'm good... but i'm just not ready to run yet... between getting over my x (who i can now admit was the first person i've EVER been in love with) to doing this whole dating thing... it had all left me to a point where i felt like i was loosing myself... so i need to take some time to figure out things... so i want to thank you guys for not removing me from your blog list...

THE IGNORANCE AND FOOLISHNESS WILL NOW COMMENCE... LOL!


so... like i said... i picked up a part time at WHOLE FOODS.... best job ever... the people i work with are absolutely AMAZING! it's great to be around people who are from different backgrounds and cultures... i can't always understand what they're saying to me... but i love being around them none the less...

now onto the juicy stuff... dating...

i've been seeing about 3 guys... one of them is not really worth mentioning... so i won't... so let's just say i've been seeing 2 guys...

Eric... *sigh* what can i say... he's great... 5'8... pretty smile... college grad... nice home... smells amazing... calls... great convo... always pays... all around great guy... i just don't think i have a physical connection with him... but i'm thinking that maybe it can grow over time... just trying to figure out where it's going... i'm really thinking he's gonna end up in the friend box... just don't know how to tell him that... or if i should tell him that at all... you don't want to kill a vibe you know...

Ross... *BIGGER SIGH* if were to ask me to be his woman right now i would say yes... he's amazing... and there not doubt in my mind that i could fall in love with him... he makes me smile... he accepts me for who i am... and i really think i'm falling in love with him... the only problem is i have no clue how he feels about me... and i kinda don't want to know... i like how things are going right now... slow... and... steady... don't want to start asking questions... even more so because i'm not sure how i really feel right now...

oh... btw... these to old ass women at my job are hating on me... because they're ovaries don't work... and they're husbands spank it me every night...


Nola*

taking a break...

UGH!!!! i've been trying to sort out my feelings... this year has been full of ups... and downs... but all in all i've been very... VERY blessed... i'm at a turning point in my life... and i just need to sort a few things out... so i'll be back in a bit... love u guys...

Nola*

booo friday... hellooooo. Saturday... and SUNDAY!

so... i have finally gotten over the ex... like totally... like... i would never... EVER think of going back... well... maybe not never... (wait... re-thinks...) yeah... never... i'd go gay before i'd go back to him... and not judging anyone but donut bumping just isn't my thing...

so... friday... i went to this poetry slam at my church... it was amazing... i'm apart of the photography ministry... so i took a few flicks... listened the lovely poet's... and took it in... but i was still feeling a little sucky...

Sat started feeling better... had a talk with my mom... she called my ex a F*(! fag... and told me i was to good for him... and this time i really believed it.... cause i am... the way i treat a dude... i deserve a man that's going to dag on drink my bath water...

so... i met up with G... young man... he's 22... it kinda disappointed me that i found out he was under the limit that i usually date guys... but i was like hey... let's just go with it... surprisingly he was quiet amazing... talkative... but not in a way that i wanted to chew my right arm off... and stab myself in the ear... but in a good way... we hit up the tyler perry movie... and then went to dinner... he paid... he made me laugh... i took him home... and went home... and went to sleep... all in all... a good night... with a good guy...

oh... oh... oh... Sunday... Sunday... and yes... i just sung that...
i digress...

i have been peeping this guy at my church... he's light skinned... 6'4ish... green eyes... wait... i need to cap that... GREEN EYES!!!!!! And his name... well... let's call him Ricky Ross... (back to code names... don't judge me...) i grabbed this guy... who knows him... who tried to talk to me a while back... but he was getting married... and married people have aids... and i don't fools with aids... so... we made a brief introduction... he seemed kinda slow... but i'm shallow... and he has green eyes... so i can look past that... anywho... we exchange info... and he asks me to give him a call around 8... i call a little after 8... he didn't pick up... so i leave a message... he calls back shortly after... like 15 min shortly after... which is a plus... he tells me that he's dropping someone off around my way... (my dog just pooted... i'm moving outside by the pond...) he's kinda sounding like he wanted to ask to stop by... but doesn't come right out and say it cause it's like 9pm... he seems like a gentleman... so i then say... "well... if you like to stop by... feel free..." he asks if i wanted something to eat... i decline... cause i just finished watch the deadskins get that butt whooped... and munching on wings at outback... (shot-out to Glo) he comes over... we watch trueblood... well i tried to... but the conversation was going well... so i decided to watch it tomorrow on onDemand... we talked some more... watched a movie... he made me laugh... we fell asleep... he woke up... and asked me if i cuddled (i thought that was so sweet that he asked...) he held me close... and i exhaled... i can't remember the last time that i've done that... like really done that... and i want to get to know him better... and take it slow... and take walks in the park... and eat sushi (HE LIKE SUSHI!!!) and go museums... and maybe out of town... and if he makes it past the 90 day mark... maybe... wait... sorry... getting ahead of myself... he's cool... i like... have reservations... but i like... oh... and he's not slow... he just doesn't talk very fast...

sidenotes...
i've had 2 hrs of sleep in 2 days... and i'm going to the gym... cause i don't want to be fat... and as alwasys... i'm all over the place...

Nola*

dear rebounds... kick rocks...

why is it that when you get out of a relationship... all of the dudes that you use to talk to somehow find out... and start callin... a rebound nigga is the LAST thing that i need in my life right now... all i need is God... and me... my friends... and my fam... dating is sooooo not in the picture right now...

i wish people would realize that a rebound is not healing the pain that you feel inside... it's just masking it... it's still gonna be there... and it's only gonna get worse... cause you wind up hurting someone else... and hurting yourself more as well...

there is nothing wrong with taking time by yourself to heal... it's actually better that way...

so rebounds... stop sending flowers... stop calling for dinner... or just to say hi... all you want to do is see what color my panties are anyways... and just KICK ROCKS!!!!

Nola*

P.S. i'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack! LOL!

worst vacation EVER!!!!!

so... i've been away for a while... you know the deal...

the brandon and I are no longer... and honestly it's for the best... but i'll get to that a little later...

let's get into the vaca...

him and i have been having a few issues... so what better to revive a relationship than take a mini vacation! WRONG... total fail... lol

i go online and find this amazing bed and breakfast spot in VA beach... it's also a spa... so i also book him and i a couples massage... not to mention i found this aquarium that will let you swim with the seal for a small fee (and when i say small i mean $125 each small... lol)

so we get through the drive... and we had a good time together... he seemed pretty distant... but i was like it will get better through the weekend... Thursday was cool... we ate... and chilled... but at the same time something just seemed to be wrong... but again... i felt that it would get better after the weekend... wrong... got worse... i mean... everything we did he seemed to push me away more and more... i tried to get close to him in bed... nothing... i tried to hold him while we were in the hot tub... nothing... i tried to kiss him... NOTHING! so finally i'm like... ok... look... what is going on... we get into what was just suppose to be a small discussion... and automatically he decides that he always get to this point... and he says... and I quote "making you happy feels like a chore... and I don't want anything i do to be fake... i just can't do this..." lost and confused i begin to cry... and beg for him to stay... mind you i love this man... and have put everything i have plus more into this relationship... so you're dag on right i'm going to fight for it... long story short... i sat in bed all day Saturday... crying... on what was suppose to be a wonderful vacation... at the end of the trip we decided to just take some space and figure things out...

during that time... (it was only a day...) i realized a few things... love does not eat away at who you are as a person... it enhances you... brandon was becoming a cancer to me... and eating away at the beautiful person that Tiffany (i'm Tiffany... lol... and also Nola Darling...) is... the person i was when i was with him was not me... i'm happy... i'm loving... i'm a writer... i love talking and being with my friends... and when i was with brandon... i did none of that... i barely updated my blog... or called my friends... or just enjoyed life... my sole concentration was on our relationship... which was destroying other relationships that i had... so intern... it was clear that i had to do one of the hardest things i had done in a long time... i had to cut things off completely with someone i felt that i was suppose to spend the rest of my life with...

now... he's not a bad guy... he is actually and amazing person... but i will say that he is a TERRIBLE boyfriend...

i got a lot out of the relationship... i found that i can be in a committed relationship... even when things get bad... i've grown closer to God... but most of all... i've learned how to love... really love...

i want a man who loves me... ever bit of me... and who wants to make me happy just as much as i want to make them happy... and i have no clue what the future holds... but i know that there is someone out there that is just for me... and i am so excited about taking this hard... wonderful... painful... loving... ugly... and beautiful journey... into finding love...

*Nola

hey guys...

sorry i had to make my blog private for a while... some lame chick told my x about it... he read it... and i felt kinda bad for what he saw... but like the old saying goes... when you go looking for stuff... you'll find it... i'll be back in a minute with new updates... thanks for stickin it out with me...

ms mary tagged me...

3 blogs in one day... sheesh! lol!

ms mary... so here we go!


What's your current obsession? my Canon... i have to upload more pics... he's my boyfriend right now...


What's your must have fashion need? my Tiffany's ring... i have a tan line on my left middle finger because i wear i so much...

What are you wearing right now? a short skirt... and high heels... i'm at work... and i want a promotion... lol i kid! i kid!

What's your favorite food? SUSHI!!!


What do you do for fun? Well... besides making people laugh... reading... blogging... tweeting... and talking to random people in the grocery store...

What made today special? my mom came to see me at work! she's super!

What would you like to learn to do? Fly a plane... it looks like fun...

What's the last thing you bought? A cup of hot water...

What are you listening/watching right now? my heater...

What's your favorite weather? 75 and sunny...

What's your one goal in life? to be closer to God...

What do you think of the person that tagged you? she's amazing... and i wish she lived in Maryland so i could be friends with her!

If you could have a house totally paid for, what would it look like? It would be the house i live in now... with my parents... thus why i cannot leave... LOL!


If you could swap lives with anyone in the world for one day who would it be and why? hmmm... no one... i love my life!

If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour where would you go? hmmm... South of France... ahhhhhhhh...

What language would you like to learn? French...

What do you look for in a friend? to simply accept me for who i am... and see the good in me...

Who do you want to meet in person? Oprah...

What's your favorite type of music? ah... good music... doesn't matter what type it is... these question are getting silly...

What's your dream job? come on now... not working would be my dream job...

Describe your personal style? whatever i like that day... i change like the wind...

What's your favorite t.v. show? The Wire... how i misses the... and True Blood...

What's your favorite dessert? Death by Chocolate...

What's your favorite makeup brand? MAC... loves it!

What's your all time favorite perfume? Lolita Lampika... Spell check that...

What's something that you don't currently like about yourself? my tummy... but i'm learning to love it...

What's you fondest childhood memory? Anything with my Daddy...

What would you do w/a major lottery winning? i'm not answering this... cause i may loose my job...

If you had to pick a song for your funeral/memorial service, what would you choose? Moving on... by Stevie Wonder...


If you had the power to grant one person a wish ANY wish, who would it be and why? That the person i love would always be happy...

Rules:1.)Respond: answer the questions on your blog.

2.)Replace one question that you dislike with a question of your own invention, add one more question of your own.

3.)Tag eight other people.



I'm tagging...

All of my loyal readers!!!! All 6 of yall... lol!

get your independent @$$ outta here... question????

OMG... i am soooo tired of hearing of all these chicks talk about how they don't need a man... and all these songs talking about i love her cause she got her own... and niggaz spelling out I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T... half yall chicks that claim to be independent couldn't even spell that word before that song came out...

first off... all these songs these dudes are making about "independent" women is just a trick... these niggaz just want us to pay for dinner... yeah niccu! I got my own... and you're still paying...

secondly... there is no such thing as an independent woman... in some way... shape or form... a woman needs a man in her life... now i'm not saying man like a boyfriend... or husband... because i know plenty of happy single women (i'm one of them) out here... i'm saying that every woman needs a father... or father figure... or a big cousin... or a homeboy... or a stickman... ladies... we need men in our lives... just as they need us...

i'm can't pee standing up... they can't give birth... i'm not changing my oil... and they're not picking out curtains...

so ladies... take off the pants... and put back on that skirt... men should be men... and women should be women... just my opinion...

Nola*

confusion... an ode to Michael Vick...

one of my homies... who goes by the alias of Michael Vick inspired this blog...


con·fu·sion
Pronunciation:
\kən-ˈfyü-zhən\
Function: noun
Date: 14th century
1: an act or instance of confusing 2 a: the quality or state of being confused b: a confused mass or mixture
— con·fu·sion·al \-ˈfyüzh-nəl, -ˈfyü-zhə-nəl\ adjective


now... i know i haven't blogged in a long time... i've had writers block... and i've been confused about a lot of shit... so please know... that this blog will be alllllllllll over the place... wait... all of my blogs are all over the place... whatevs... don't judge me...


on love...

• why can't i love to people at the same time...
• why does it hurt that i love the people at the same time...
• why do i get tired of people so easily...
• why is that i can't be committed to one individual...
• why do i still want to be with the Jewel...
• why does he have to always be so hot and cold with me...
• why do people fall in love with the idea of me... and not fall in love with me...
• why do i always fall for the wrong guy...
• why is that we adore the ones who ignore us... and ignore the ones who adore us...
• why do we hurt the ones the love us... and love the ones who hurt us...

on gays...

• why do people put sooooo much effort into hating what makes someone happy...
• love is love... and why can't people just accept it...
• why do people who read my blog continue to disrespect another person who reads my blog on my blog... go to his blog and tell him how you feel... and stop putting you fucked up opinion on mine... (but i do appreciate your opinion... even though it's kinda fucked up...)

on friendship...

• why is so hard to find more than two best friends...
• why am i so blessed to have 3...
• why is it that i can go for weeks without talking to them... and they never take it personally... love you Yani, Tish, and Nicole!

on random shit...

• why do i have to pay insurance... i'm paying just in case some shit will happen right... so... i think my job should pay me more now... just in case i get a better job... if you work for an insurance company... and you read my blog... please know that you're the scum of the earth... and you should kill yourself... thanks...
• why are the fat people that i've come across so mean...
• what the fuck are people still eating McDonald's... and then suing that place... cause their fat asses decided to eat it...

it's a few other things i'm confused on... but i'm about to go to lunch... at whole foods... eat organic people!

Nola*

shoot me out of a canon...

hey guys! do me a hug fav... check out my new blog
shoot me out of a canon.

it's just pics from my canon eos digital... loves this thingy!

i love debates... (unbreakable vs. JCal456)

even more so... i love when i set one off...

when i posted this blog ... i didn't expect to get two very... very long responses off of them... and here are the two responses...


long ass response from Unbreakable.


"ummm listen i do agree with only one thing in this post, and its that being gay can modern day genocide.

simple explain two men cant reproduce.

Your saying that if it does not affect you,you should not care, that i don't agree with. I know there are tuns on thing that don't concern we at all that we talk about, whenever it come to race and sex there is a taboo.

Why cant we talk about it and share our view,if i or any other person don't support people view why cant they voice that,o but according to you we should say in our lane. This world we live in don't work like that, whatever you do affect someone else one way or the other.


So what would you do if someone one your family was gay? it would be cool to get out your so called lane!!!!!!


Whats i do believe is that people should be sensitive to other way of life. I don't support gay marriage. but it happened."

then we have the long ass response from JCal456.:

[to unbreakable]
So what if two men can't reproduce, not all relationships produce children. Are those relationships considered modern day genocide too?

Also, I don't agree with the comment you made about being able to voice your view point. Only in this situation though.
If you were sharing your p.o.v on something someone CHOSE to do that I see no problem with that, but (and i know nobody who isn't homosexual never believes this but..) homosexuality is NOT a choice. I am gay, and I didn't wake up one morning and say "hey I want to be the exact same thing that the majority of my race,country,etc. hates. In fact, from the time I became aware of what I was, I woke up saying "why do I have to be this, why can't I be 'normal'." Then I began to grow out of that old fashioned mind-state, that "everything different is wrong" mind-state, and I'm happy with exactly who I am. If I wasn't supposed to be this way, then I wouldn't be this way.

Another thing, how would being gay effect anyone but the two people in the relationship? Yeah you'd have to see two men holding hands, or kissing. But you see a man and a women doing that on practically every tv show in America, just because they're the same gender it becomes obscene?

Also, someone in your family is probably gay. I don't mean that as an insult or anything, but the odds of someone in your family being gay are pretty high. I'm willing to be everyone knows someone who is gay and they don't even realize it. Since not all gay men look alike. If you don't have a gay family member then you probably have a gay co-worker, a gay friend, someone you encounter on a daily basis. It's life.

One more thing, before I write a whole blog post in a comment haha,
I'm not for gay marriage either, only because I don't believe in marriage for myself [and marriage]. But just because I don't believe in it doesn't mean it should be illegal. If two people are in love and think marriage will work out for them, then they should be able to do whatever they want.



i've read both of their blogs... i like mr. JCal's blog more than unbreakable...
1. he's gay... i love gay men...
2. he's a cutie pie... i love gay men who are cutie pie's...
3. unbreakable's blog is very organized... and has structure... and while i do appreciate that fact... i have enough organization in my life... i have self diagnosed OCD... don't judge me... JCal's blog is all over the place (in a good way... plus... his blog has super sex mens on it...) ... just like mine... and i loves it!

but i do thank both of you all for taking out the time to read my foolishness... keep on reading... and i'll try to keep it interesting...

Nola*

just so you know... you hate whites and gays...

NO... I DO NOT HATE WHITES AND GAYS...

this titled stemmed from a conversation that occurred in my office...


man... we have some CHARACTERS where i work... it's always an interesting day in here...

but yesterday... a co-worker who i will name as Gerald... and another co-worker who i will call Mr. Vick had a very complex conversation...

Gerald... well... he's an interesting character... him and i went to the same high school... he became and alumnus waaaaay before i did... he's one of those... i love everything about black people... and black culture was perfect... before the evil white man came along and messed everything up type folk... but none the less i do thoroughly enjoy his conversation and point of views on issue of the African American culture...

anywho...

the conversation went in many directions... basically... Gerald stated that he can prove that white people are the reason that homosexuality was introduced to the African American community... that Africans lived in this perfect society... harmoniously (as i recall... we had slaves too...)... and there was not any gay like activity going on until... those blue eyed white devils came along... and showed the African men that their assholes where vagina's as well...

he also stated that gays are modern day genocide... because they cannot create a human life... and they are killing the African American community by spreading AIDS... (actually... i think down low brothers are doing that... and fried chicken...)

... i know... a lot to take in...

Mr. Vick and i then stated... you need to be careful with that... cause clearly you hate white people and gays... and you could quite possible pass that hate you have of these two groups of people to your kids...

for some odd reason... he feels as though he doesn't hate gay people... but clearly from the statements above... he does...

here's my stand on it...

people are people... i try my best not to see color... i know some bitch ass black people... and some bitch ass white people as well... if we take a moment we'd see that we're not that different... and people are just people... you have good ones and bad ones...

on gays...

now... i know being gay is a sin... (i believe in a higher being... i call him God...) but having premarital sex is a well... and cursing... and other random acts of foolishness i participate in on the weekends... so who am i to judge what someone else does with their life... as long as you're not hurting yourself and others... and you're happy and healthy... i could really care less what you do... mutha fucka's need to learn how to stay in their lane... if it doesn't affect you... the people you love... or your bankroll... why do give a fuck...

that just how i feel about it... but what does my over-confident ass know...


Nola*

apologies... don't come easy out of me...

when i first started working at the new gig... i had a guy approach me...

mind you... he didn't know me from "Eve"... but none the less... he asked me to come to his house for a "party"... i told him send me the info... and if i can make it... i'll let him know...

he indirectly asked me for my number... stating that he wasn't sure if the party was going down or not... and if it was he would call me... i declined in giving him my number... and his response was... "oh... well i'll catch up with you another time..." yeah... seemed shady to me...

so i asked a couple people around the office if the gentlemen had mention something about a "maybe" party to them... everyone looked at me and started laughing...

they were like... that was a "private party" invitation just for you maybe... he's tried that before with someone else in the office...

I WAS HEATED... i basically though he was going to try to get me to come to his house... get me drunk... and try to take advantage of me... (it's happened to a girlfriend of mine before... she got out of there ok... thank God...) but instead of coming to him and stating how i was offended by it... i stated it to others... and that wasn't fair to him...

so today... i had a talk with him... and apologized for how i had treated him... because i didn't give him a chance to tell his side of the story... he had already apologized previously to me about how i took the situation...

but yeah... that whole apology stuff... is hard... but once you make a mince... it feels a lot better...

being upset about silly stuff is kinda wack anyways...

Nola*

on some groupie ish...

OMG... OMG... OMMFG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

he read my blog... again... the TOP MACK NIGGA... i am sooooooooo freakin in love (but kinda like a hooker loves a pimp though... don't judge me...) with him... i'm just glad he's on the west coast... cause he'd be in a lot of trouble... well... i'd be in alot of trouble if he was on the east side... and yes... i'm actin like a groupie... again... don't judge me...

and... what don't i know about miss van!!!!

this one's for you boss ;)

BTW Boss... we need some of your fashion on the east coast babe...

Nola*

tell um how you feel tues...

so... here we go...

-dear love... fuck you and eat shit twice... i told your funky ass to stay away from me... now... cause of you... i'm thinking about getting married... go to hell...

-dear love... thanks for standing by me despite of myself... but go away... but not to far away... lol... (yep... i'm crazy...)

-look you fuckin fat monster... why the hell would you even think that i would go out with you... and i don't care what any of our co- workers say... you were going to try to get me to your house... get me drunk... and then put your sweaty body on top of mine... not today captain dill doe... not today...

- i miss Texas... but i gotta be movin on...

- Dear Chris Brown... run... run now...

- there are two girls in my office that are taking diet pills... and they haven't lost any weight... cause their still eating like the preggers... with twins...

- i'm totally in love with Adele... she's freakin awesome...

- ah... Young boi.... thanks for the movie... but i still don't like u like that anymore...

- someone slipped me a roufie this weekend... well at least i think they did... and i still can't eat anything... ugh!

i'm outtie...

Nola*

i know... it's been forevs'

hey fam... i know i haven't blogged in ages...

i've kinda been cleaning out my closet... and my head... and most of all my heart...

i came to realize that a lot of the relationships that i've been entertaining in my life have been in vain...

i guess subliminally... it showed how insecure i've become... i sometimes paint a picture that i'm this confident person... but most times i'm really not...

i realized that i kinda was defining my beauty... but the amount of guys i had after me...

but see now (well... i kinda already knew...) they wanted me for one thing... and i though that was ok... but now... i realize it wasn't... it took someone special to show me my worth... (and no... it wasn't Texas... sadly...)

i do sincerely apologize for being so distant from you guys... but i just had to step back for a sec... and get Nola (not my real name... lol) together... but i'm back... and i'll fill you guys in later on tonight about what's been going on...

Love you guys...

Nola*

and he said... i'm a dude in a skirt...

*congrats to the steelers!!!!! ain't nothing wrong with a young black coach winning the super bowl!*

one of my homies called me a dude in a skirt... that statement originated from a looong dialog him and i had this saturday... i kinda disagreed... but after much debate... i conceded... and agreed... that at this time... i am... a dude... in a skirt...

the feelings that came when the convo was over kinda sucked major... i'm single... (i know i shouldn't allow people to make me feel bad for how i'm living my life... as long as i'm happy and healthy... but sometimes i do...) so i feel like a should act accordingly... the main reason is that when i do get in a relationship... i don't want to feel like i've missed out on something... because the next relationship i get into that man... is gonna be... my husband...

as all of you know i have a mini smorgasbord of guys... some of them have caught feelings for me ... some are just j.o's... and some... i know we'll be life long friends...

but i kinda feel like i'm filling some type of void or trying to find some type of shallow validation within myself...

i don't feel empty... i don't feel insecure (well... not most of the time)... i just like having a few different dudes on my team... being that i'm single and all...

i just hope that the one that matters to me the most doesn't just see me as a dude in a skirt... but he sees the good in me too... the part that loves and adores him (i love u Texas...) ... and if he doesn't... then that kinda sucks... cause right now... i'm not changing... for nobody... now if someone wants to take this ride with me... come on... and buckle up... cause the ride is bumpy... and the AC isn't working... and i might need you to change the oil a few times on the way... but i promise you... whoever takes that ride with me... when we get to that destination... the reward will make that ride look like a walk in the park...

i just know... that one day... "the right person will still think the sun shines out my ass..." -juno

Nola*

this is the type of daddy i have!

sorry it's been a minute guys... i've been working like a slave... but i'll be back next week...

love me some Jamie and some Yezzy...

i love assholes... they just do something to me...

it's the little things...

i got this email from Texas today...

Hey Tiff. Hope your day is going well and your working on being nicer at the job like you said. I was just thinking about you and wanted to say wassup...i'll ttyl.

and if the biggest red kool aid smile didn't come across my face...

it's making me tear up how much i love this dude... i mean... it's kinda steamy in hear... cause thugs don't cry...

count down begins...

got inspired by my muze to write this blog... she's freakin great...

things you wish you could say to 10 different people:

-when i saw u this summer... you lost a bunch of weight... and when i saw u this winter... you gained it all back... so no... we can't hook up "real soon"... i'm shallow... don't judge me...

-u must have lost your got damn mind... that not even a reasonable request... and fuck as naw i'm not paying for that bullshit...

-ur an asshole... and i hope u get what's coming to you... thank God i only have to work for u for a few more weeks... and after that... i'm moving upward and onward... and there's nothing you can do about it... btw... your not white... you Iraqi... no matter what position u hold white people will always see u as a sand nigga... get over it... (they're just not gonna tell you that cause they think you might blow up some shit...)

-take care of your kids and stop putting them off on other people... and stop bitchin about paying child support...

-i like spending time with you... but that's about it...

-i'm really glad we became friends... u freakin rock out... ur a total stuck up bitch... just like me... and u kinda let me know it's ok to be like that... sometimes... lol

-please stop calling me during the day... the only times it is acceptable for you to call is friday or saturday... after 10 pm... u are a jump off... please know your role...

-dear cowboys... fuck u... and... i wish i would have had a chance to say goodbye before you went to the "A"... but don't u worry... i'll be down there this summer... hell yeah i'd fly down there to tap that...

-yes... i have gained a little weight since high school... and you've developed a crack habit...

-i got u a Christmas gift because i wanted to... and yes... i knew u couldn't afford to get me one... but the look on your face when i gave it to you was the best gift i've got this year... i love u... don't ever put a value on what we have...

things about yourself:

-i have serious commitment issues... and i'm not sure if i'll ever resolve them...

-i procrastinate on things that i should take care of right away... except for things that have to deal with my health... and my blog...

-i have an unhealthy obsession with Tristen Wilds... i don't care how old he is...

-the only person i really like at my church is the pastor... he's the only one who doesn't judge me about my views on religion...

-i love kids... as long as i can give them back... and yes i do happen to be good with kids... and no... i don't want to baby sit your little evil as gremlins... if i wanted to watch some kids... i'd have one or two...

-i'd honestly cry more if my dog die... than if someone on my fathers side would... i don't like those fuckers... (but i love my daddy!)

-i'm a sleep farter...

-i love to dance around in my underwear... and sing in my hairbrush...

ways to win your heart:

-love and respect your mother...

-if you have kids... love and respect your child's mother... i don't care how difficult she is...

-love me for who i am...

-always be fair to me... no matter how much it hurts...

-make me laugh...

-have an education... and at least a college degree (or be in the process of getting one...)

-have a clean house...

-be able to cook (or at least want to learn how to cook...)

things that cross your mind often:

-why is it so hard to say i love u to someone... but so easy to say i hate you...

-why the fuck to people eat McDonald's... that is the most unhealthy shit in the world... watch SUPER SIZE ME...

-would my life be different if i had grandparents???

-why do people put so much into religion... instead of putting effort into bettering the lives of other people...

-why do artist like Common and Talib Kweli get set to the back burner... while fack ass lame marc-ass buster... ass munching... turd fuckers... like 50 cent get major play on the radio...

-i'm in love with Nas... and Common... and Pharrell...

-i pooted... hope no one smelled it... and if they did... i'm gonna blame it on my manager...

things you do before you go to sleep:

-pray (well at least i try to...)

-get a glass of tea with cream and honey...

-talk to either... the Jewel... Texas Ranger... Young Boy... or Nice look Ne-Yo...

-watch Adult Swim...

-sing love songs... and think about Texas Ranger...

-take a bubble bath...

people you couldn't live without:

-mommy

-daddy

-bestie

-bottom boo

-and maybe Texas...

things you're wearing right now:

-Joe's Jeans...

-Tiffany & Co Bracelet...

-the hand me down diamonds my mother gave me...

-Rosebud Strawberry Lip Balm...

songs that fit your life perfectly:

-Frontin' by Pharrell Williams...

-Amazing Love by Luther Vandross

-Didn't Cha Know by Erykah Badu

>

things you want to do before you die:

-visit Africa

-get married... (these aren't the most important things i want to do before i die though...)

confession:

-hmmmmm... i hate my body sometimes...

super model documentary hour!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

when i get bored i tend to take pictures of myself... well that and... shop... call up jump offs... and think of ways to annoy bestie... i loves her soooo BTW... enjoysssssssssssssssssss...

dear disney, thanks for helping me understand the birth control is an essential part of my life...

disney was a freakin blast... i got to kick it with my little cousins... (their like 3, or 9, or 1... or something like that...) but their like the coolest kids ever... and bad as fuck... but their funny... and my rule is... if it's funny... you can get away with it...

here are the pics... enjoysssssssssssssssssssssssssss

looking out of my hotel... freaking great...

best breakfast ever!!!

most racist shit i've ever seen... but it was pretty funny...

EPCOT!!!! the famous ball!!!

JELLYFISH!!!

ah... it's a fish... i think...

tree of life... it's actually a fake tree... some ole bullshit right...

FRESH PEANUT STUFF THAT WILL FUCK UP YO TEETH!!!

EPCOT AT NIGHT!

HAPPY NEW YEARS!!!

Sorry it's been a minuto follks... had to take a vacaaaaation... i'll have details manana... for now... here's some unreleased Kanyeeeeeezeeeeee.... fuck with it...