I Got That Birthday Fever

We like to boogie down at the Woolner home.  Noelle and Sam had back to back birthdays.  Take a listen.

Noelle turned 6.

This picture was not sideways when I uploaded it.  I'm too tired to fix it now.  See, I made this cake.  Strawberry all around.  

She had to have that hat.  You squeeze a ball at the end and the ears flop up and down.

Then Sam turned the big 8.

He got my old Castle Lego set and Robin Hood's Hideout from when I was a girl.  Still had all the pieces, feathers for the helmets, flags for the fort and castle, everything.  He was sooooo thrilled.

Thumbs up to birthdays.  A thrill-ride adventure until the very end.

Chocolatey goodness cake.  I made that too.  See the Wolf Scout symbol?  I'm pretty rad.

I'm Sick To Death of Moral Relativist Bullies

Let me take you back to yesteryear.  It was a time of innocence, of play, of Rhonda pinching kids in the nursery when they had toy she wanted to play with.  I watched her.  I saw her scanning the room littered with plastic people, toddler paraphernalia, and puzzles.  She would hone in on the coveted toy some poor schmo had patiently waited their their turn for and then yoink!  A little pinchy-pinch, a little grabby-grab and the toy was all hers.  Well, there was this one toy I had waited for two weeks to play with.  A Fisher-Price Little People airplane.  I had hovered around it waiting for the previous player to abandon it.  My patience was rewarded and it was mine!  No sooner had I said airplane when in stalked Rhonda.  She went for the pinch.  But she was thwarted.  I was #4 of five children.  I had two older brothers.  My almost 3-year old self knew a little something something about defending oneself.  I pinched back.  This time, she cried and I was victorious.  that's right, I had saved nursery from the bullying prowess of Rhonda the pincher.

So, here we are.  I've aged, but it could be argued whether or not I have matured.  But one things for certain, I'm not too fond of bullies.  Pinchers and hair pullers are easy to spot.  Nowadays, they come in disguise.  They like to call themselves "moral relativists".  I'm not sure all moral relativists are this way, so I'm not going to make a blanket statement, but it's my blog and I'm kinda going to.  I've encountered a few of these moral relativists on Facebook and the Internet.  You know who they are.  You can spot them a mile away.  Always pretending to play the devils advocate, but really, they are looking to glorify their own "superior" intelligence and are almost always bullies.

Here's how it usually plays out:
Someone posts an article or something that is predominately a Moral Law-type issue (homosexuality, pornography, drugs, etc).  Responses will be posted with affirmations (that's horrible, I'm sorry, what's this world coming to?, etc).  Then in creeps the moral relativist.  "I'm just playing devil's advocate", "I'm not saying I agree with this, I just don't see what's wrong with x, y, or z."  Most people will either ignore this person.  One or two might respond once or twice, but back out when the bullying begins.

I used to do that because, let's face it, you can't reason with unreasonable people.  And these people are unreasonable.  They don't want to hear that people think what they are doing is bad, immoral, wrong or harmful (no one really does).  They want to keep doing it and to feel justified in it, so they play the "I'm a moral relativist" card.  And that's okay.  I'm a believer in love the sinner, hate the sin.  But do you want to know what sin I really hate?  Bullying.  Although, I like to avoid confrontations, I am just so sick of moral relativists pulling a Rhonda, pinching and pinching and getting away with it because most of the people out there are a little like me and don't want to come across as argumentative or just a plain mean old meanie.
So, lately, I've been pulling the pinch-protector card and I've stopped avoiding the confrontation.  You ask for examples, you ask for opinions, you ask for truth or backed-by-science cold hard facts, I'm gonna give it to you.  I'm gonna give it to you because I don't want the moral-law believers out there to be bullied anymore.

And it always happens.  It never doesn't happen.  They get the facts in their hands and they try to find someway to justify it's refutable.  This is my favorite.  Because they don't even seen how "moral un-relative" they are being.  How can you say my truth isn't truth?  How can you say that dude's truth over there isn't really truth?  How can you say that scientists findings aren't truth?  I thought it was all relative to you, man.

They denounce:  "Well, you don't have any real experience with overdosing on drugs and dying.  You only have a friend who OD'd and died, so you don't have any actual facts, you just 'know people'."

They never offer their own facts:  For the record, I'm still waiting to hear about that double-blind study that tracked all those people that  OD'd on drugs and had a good experience.  Oh, you don't have anything like that?  I didn't think so.

They ir-rationalize.  "Drugs in moderation aren't bad."

Finally, they name call, belittle and bully:  You are racist, conservative, brainwashed by your religion, don't have any of your own opinions, are freaking out over something little, are a hypocrite, not politically correct, etc.

I find this especially ironic since most of the people who I have watched engage in conversation with moral relativists never name call or resort to other such childish tactics.  (In fact, these moral-law supporters have claim to not having to be reasonable because at least they chose a side.)  Then, when everyone calls fowl on the name calling and bullying, the moral relativist turns tail, choosing to conveniently "opt out" of the conversation since it is obviously too beneath them to comment anymore.

Now, I admit, I  am a conservative, I do have a religion.  And whether moral relativists like it or not, I believe there is a law irrevocably decreed before the world began.  I also believe you have your agency to believe in it or not, but it doesn't mean it's not still there pinching back all over your "what's right for me is right" mentality.

I'm pinching back, moral relativists.  I'm pinching back because I'm sick of your bullying.  It's just not good human behavior to ridicule, name call, or falsely accuse someone just because they don't fall in line with your personal views or practices.  Um, how can I be wrong if it's all relative?  I feel bad for true moral relativists out there because there's a bunch of bullies floating around giving them a bad name.

In Honor of My Birthday - Top Ten Sucky Experiences In My Life So Far

I have had cancer, am infertile and have been bitten by a poisonous spider, but the following stick out more...

#10 - Have you ever had your nose picked by a professional? I have.

#9 - How about having your bladder filled from the outside - in?  In case you were wondering, it feels cold and it's never awesome when the doctor is your age, the opposite sex, and has to get a little too close.

#8 - "You're bruising my neck meat."  Someone did that to me.  They jabbed a needle in my neck.  In and out and in and out about 15 times in a row.  Then they repeated it.

#7 - Bloody nose cauterization.  Let's say, you go in to chat with the ENT because you have bloody noses that last 45 minutes long and the blood pours out of your mouth and both nostrils.  Since you're there, he decides to do the procedure right then.  Can we talk about this?  I need to mentally prepare.  OK, I guess not.  You pass out.

#6 - Colposcopy and being left in the stirrups while the doctor delivers a baby across the street.  Look up colposcopy and imagine lots of scraping.

#5 - Blood draws from your hand.  I've been fasting and drugged.  I realize my veins aren't ideal, but can you just give me some bacon and juice and wait like a half hour?  That's all I'm asking.  No.  Fine.  Oh, that vein didn't work?  Good thing I have two hands (imagine me doing jazz hands).  How about the time they tried two veins in one elbow, then two veins in the other, and then two veins in one hand and then two veins in the other hand before they finally succeeded?  It's worse than not getting the IV in all the way and the anesthesia burning up your arm.  "It burns us, precious!"

#4 - Random person shaving your private parts.  At least you're unconscious.  But if we both happen to be at Fred Meyer's in the grocery isle , do they recognize me?

#3 - Vaginal ultrasound (a.k.a. having sex without your spouse) - Nobody told me.  I thought it would just be like normal ultrasounds where they put gel on your outsides and they peek at your insides.  They don't do that.

#2 - Pap smear, vaginal ultrasound, man-hand reaching in and poking at an ovarian cyst the sized of a grapefruit and blood draw  - all within 1/2 hour.  Would you like a root canal with that?  Because I'm pretty sure you meant to and just forgot.

#1 - Pooping in tubes.  It's as gross as you think it is.  It's really really really just awful.  But the instructional literature that goes along with it is highly entertaining.  So, there's that.