all aboard the crazy baby train!

I feel like we're on a crazy train. It's pure survival mode around here. So we finally felt like we could announce our pregnancy. We waited a little longer to tell people just because we wanted to wait until we were in a "safer" zone. But it is really hard to keep it a secret! When thats all you're thinking about and you're so excited, but you can't tell anyone!! My belly was the one who made us tell actually. I don't know what it is, but with every baby, my belly sticks out sooner. That baby is only the size of an apple seed at 6 weeks but by belly thinks otherwise. So by 10 weeks we had to start telling people, I was getting strange looks from people. You know that look, the "is she getting fat?" look. We've all seen it, and probably made it before. I'm now 11 weeks and feel like I look 6 months. Yep.

We do feel amazingly blessed that this happened so quickly for us. My heart was seriously aching from losing my other baby and Heavenly Father must have known how bad my heart needed this. Everything looks amazing on all my tests and ultrasounds. We are very optimistic that this pregnancy will be uneventful. The only thing my doctor is seriously worried about is me having this baby at home or in the car. Jett was born in 30 minutes people!!!! I had him with no epidural so I know I can do it, but do I want to do it? Nope. Not in the slightest. So we'll be keeping a very close eye on me come 6 months from now.

Now, I know I mentioned how blessed we feel, and really, we do. But I am miserable. This sickness is indescribable, inescapable, intolerable, so so so so hard to go through. Every time I go through this I say to myself, "I NEVER WANT TO DO THIS AGAIN! EVER!" And somehow you forget. I feel it as soon as I wake up and it gets progressively worse throughout the day. So dinner time is super fun. My kids are all cranky and hungry looking at me to know whats for dinner and I am most likely laying in bed in my pajamas with no plans to cook anything. Most of the time they fend for themselves and get to make whatever they want, which includes, cereal, grilled cheese, or rice and eggs. I end up eating popsicles or a donut, or cereal, something with absolutely no nutritional value. Cuz I just feel that crappy. I have to go through lists of food in my mind to find something, anything that sounds good. Usually its some fast food disgusting morsel of calories, but if thats what I want, thats what I eat. All nutrition continuousness goes out the window. Cuz I just feel that crappy. But I take a prenatal vitamin so it's okay right? My poor husband is neglected in every way possible, but he know how this works. I groan and complain for a few months and then when I feel better, I am one happy woman. The gates of heaven open and angels sing and I wake up one morning and feel hungry again. The house actually gets cleaned and his laundry might get done. Its amazing. I can't wait for that day. I have about 6 weeks until that day comes. until then, I thank Heavenly Father every day for this miracle and ask for strength to get through another day. I can do this! Just bring me McDonalds french fries or a big bag of Flamin hot Cheetos.