A Lesson From the School of Hard Knocks

ALWAYS BE SURE YOU HAVE A DIAPER READY WHEN CHANGING YOUR BABY!

I got Rudy out of his old diaper before checking to see if any bum geniuses were stuffed for night diapers. Not only were they not stuffed, they were not even in the room. I often let Rudy run around in the nude for moments at a time, so I thought nothing of setting my pink little nudy Rudy down to jaunt about while I tracked down his diapers and got them ready for the night to come. Thus began a series of unfortunate events:
Rudy promptly pees on the rug (and a few books in the vicinity) just below his changing table. I mop up the books and take the rug out to the hall for later washing. I find his diapers, and begin stuffing. Before the first is finished, I hear a strange squirting sound. I turn around and find Rudy has deposited a pile of poo right where the rug used to be. He steps in it. I grab him, and get poo all over myself while trying to keep him from smearing it. I wipe him and myself down with a million wipies, and rip a piece of paper gift bag up to serve as my shovel to remove the main part of the pile off the carpet. I invite Rudy to come see what I'm going to do with his precious poo, hoping to seize an opportunity to teach him where poo goes. We flush the poo "bye bye" and go back to his nursery to complete the stuffing process. (yes, Rudy is still naked-I have a cold and my neurons are firing at the speed of molasses) I get out the spot remover and begin cleaning the poo spot on the carpet. I pick Rudy up for some reason or another, and promptly find myself covered in poo for the second time. I think I must have just missed a smear of poo on him, so I clean him and myself up again. I thoroughly gross myself out when I wipe my drippy nose on the corner of my sleeve and find I have just wiped poop across my FACE! (Now I know why we should ALWAYS use Kleenex, and NEVER use our sleeves to take care of drippy noses) I discover that Rudy has laid another 'egg' and has been tracking little smears of poo all around his bedroom. Of course, the poo is the same color as his carpet, so I have to feel my way around his room to discover the spots. By now, its past his bedtime, I'm stripped down to my underwear (everything else is covered in poo) and Rudy's still naked. I finally get one diaper stuffed and get it on the kid. I remove all poo affected things from his room (which include his usual blankets for the night) I pull out replacement blankets, which luckily suffice, hop into some pj's myself, get Rudy in his pj's and finally get him to bed. I finish the night with a couple loads of laundry and a long shower. Amazingly, I keep my cool through the whole thing and actually see the comedy of it in the moment. As funny as it all was, I'd prefer not to do an encore tonight, so I'm gonna be sure those diapers are ready for my sweet baby's not so sweet bum tonight. :)

Weaning Begins in Ernest

I think Rudy looks so grown up in this picture-it's like I'm looking at a little boy instead of a baby. Crazy. Maybe he somehow knew it was time to start growing up this day...

Last Friday, I agreed to babysit for a friend from early morning until just before noon, 'cause Rudy hasn't been taking naps in the morning anymore. I thought I could sneak Rudy's mid morning nursing session in while the two girls I was babysitting watched a movie or something. Well, things were a bit more high maintenance than I had expected. (My friend had been out of town for 3 days by the time it was my turn to watch her girls and they had been juggled around to countless other homes while their dad tried to make it to class and work. That kind of craziness is bound to result in a little craziness in the girls' behavior.) ;) Anyway, nursing just wasn't an option if I wanted to keep the house and all occupants safe and well monitored, so we skipped a the mid morning nursing session and kind of accidentally began the weaning process. Rudy wasn't (and isn't) a huge fan, but he's getting by, and I REALLY want to get things headed towards no more nursing. I guess I'm mostly just doing my normal Maria exaggeration stuff and envisioning a 5 year old Rudy still asking to nurse. I figure if I get started now, Rudy could be weaned by the time he's ready to go to nursery at 18 months. Anyway, while I was babysitting, I let the 3 year old take pictures galore with my camera. Here are a few of her shots, which just so happened to be recording the beginning of a momentous occasion in Rudy's life.

Here I am perched on my couch on "life guard duty". I tried to stay in a neutral position so that I could let the kids play on their own but be able to get to any of them in milliseconds in case intervention was needed. (ie. NO! We don't shove things up Rudy's nose.) :)

I'm fixing some rice cereal for Rudy to replace his nursing meal. I thought he'd appreciate the baby foodness of the rice cereal as opposed to normal table food. As you can see, he's not super stoked to be eating instead of drinking his mid morning meal.

This is about 11:00-2 hours after when we would have usually nursed. Someone looking a bit frantic to you?

When Rudy wants to nurse he goes to his bedroom and pats the rocking chair. When all that patting didn't help, I guess he just gave up, and put himself down for a little rest. Growing up is rough!

Eight

Yes, Lauren, I stole your image. It was too cool not to. I'm diggin' all the groovy colors. :)

I don't usually do these list things, but I'm stalling work, so, you know, whatever it takes! :)

Eight things I'm passionate about: Jason/Rudy/Family/LIBRARIES!/The Great Outdoors/Religion/Color/Equality

Eight words/phrases I use often: I love you/be safe/baROOMba!/thank you/nope/Good job!/ARRGH!/mmmm!

Eight things I want to do before I die: Play the guitar/Dance with Jason like a pro/Hike Timp!/maintain a relatively stable and positive mood for more than a few days (ie. eliminate the mandatory "reset" breakdowns) :)/teach my children to love the gospel/see the Redwood Forests by bike/own a home with a nice plot of land/raise chickens from the egg

Eight things I want/need: A Betta fish/wooden floors/a front baby bike seat for Rudy/ a helmet for Rudy/a yard with a fence/warm weather/a bedroom decorated just for us/a year's supply of scrumptious food storage

Eight things I have learned from the past: eating doesn't help my mood. ever./fresh air and meditation does/reading the scriptures and prayer really do matter/sleep is important/never try to make up for all the sun you missed on a mission in one grand tanning session. ouch!/God lives and loves us ALL individually/happiness is possible-and probable-when you follow a few key principles (see your local lds missionaries for details) :)/Things always get better.

Eight restaurants I love: Tucanos/Olive Garden/J-dogs/Arby's/Great China Buffet(or whatever that buffet on State Street in N. Orem is called)/China Bowl/Red Lobster/Sweet Tomatoes

Eight shows I love to watch: hmm. I burn out on shows pretty quick. They all get so DUMB or so BASE so fast. bleh! I do keep coming back to Seinfeld, though. And we're watching Life and Numbers, though I wouldn't say I love to watch them. Sometimes I like the travel show on PBS when they go to cool places (as in awesome national parks, amazon jungle communities, etc.) I love watching musicals- I think Singing in the Rain might be my current favorite, though Once Upon a Mattress is up there (even though I've never really seen it-just a movie based on the musical, but whatever- Carol Burnett was still in it, and that's good enough for me.) :)

Ta Da! Now I can finally go to work. :) Oh- I don't think I know enough people with blogs to tag 8 people who haven't already been tagged by Lauren, but here's a few tags-Jill, Sam, and Kat-do it if you want. If not, we can still be friends. :)

Here's to my very own Brocco-chocolitarian. :)

Rudy's been on some kind of toddler food strike the last couple days. Maybe 'cause he's had a nasty cold (sometimes I lose my appetite when I have a cold), but who knows? He's just wanted to nurse, with the occasional swig of water or bite of rice cereal. Sound like regression to you? Sheesh! I want this kid to be getting away from the whole nursing thing, not reverting back to it! But, my frustrations with the snail pace of our weaning journey aside, I haven't been too worried- I just chalk it up to the crazy things kids do with food at this age.
Anyway, day two of the food strike and I'm trying all his favorites:
cheese-"bleh!" bread- "bleh! bleh!" peaches- (gag) "bleh!" banana- (practically wretches) "bleh!" (shudder) ice cream- "bleh!" CHOCOLATE- "bleh! Oh! Wait...I'll have more of that!"
cheese ravioli-"bleh!" tomato- "bleh!" croutons- "bleh!" chicken- "bleh!" BROCCOLI-"Mmmm!" The kid gobbles up all his broccoli and goes for mine on my plate. I have to bring him seconds, and thirds.

Crazy kid. He'd probably have done the same with the chocolate, had I allowed it. Rudy's culinary tastes today reminded me of a song we used to sing to kind of a regea beat when we were kids. The lyrics went something like this, though not exactly (this is Marykate and Ashley's version-the only one I could find on a 2 second Internet search)

One day I was shopping in my local grocery store.I grabbed a big bar of chocolate.As I was heading for the doorI tossed the chocolate in my cartBeside a stalk of broccoliThey started talking.Talking?Yes!At first I didn't believe

This is the story of broccoli and chocolateIt made the people talk alotAbout broccoli and chocolateA very happy pair

He said, "You make me feel yummy."She said, "Mmmmmm, you make me melt."The first time a veggie and a candy barCould tell each other how they feltShe said, "Being with you is delectable."He said, "Being with you is a treat."He was bright, bright green with envyBecause she was so sweet.

It's all about broccoli and chocolateIt made the people talk alotAbout broccoli and chocolateA very happy pair

As I was walking home that dayThe sun was so hot on my grocery bagThe chocolate melted, the broccoli wiltedWhen their voices stopped, I felt sadBut when I got home...what did I have?Brocco-chocoli!Now i like brocco-chocoli alotMom, it really hits the spot,That broccoli and chocolateA very happy pair

And that's the story of broccoli and chocolateIt made the people talk alotAbout broccoli and chocolateA very happy pair

Rudy takes his first picture

1) I am flattered that he chose me as his subject, though the picture is not so flattering.

2) I am amazed how well his picture turned out- good lighting, good focus, good framing. Maybe he'll be the photographer everyone loves to have in the family. :)

3) Interesting and somewhat disturbing to see how Rudy sees me 90 % of the time. (The from below part- not the I just woke up part-though sometimes that just woke up look sticks around for the better part of the day) :) It would be quite daunting to see me from this angle with an angry glare on. I'm newly committed to saving "the eye" for truly worthy infractions. (Which, by the way, is never!)

To You, From Me!

My friend Kat posted this on her blog, and I decided that I wanna do this too. Here it goes (and I basically copied this from her blog): The first five people to respond to this post will get something made by me! My choice. For you. This offer does have some restrictions and limitations:
1. I make no guarantees that you will like what I make!
2. What I create will be just for you.
3. It'll be done this year.
4. You have no clue what it's going to be. I may fix you dinner, I may sew you some Maria original, maybe I'll bake you something and mail it to you. It may not be big or impressive. Who knows? Not you, that's for sure!
5. I reserve the right to do something extremely strange.
The catch? Oh, the catch is that you must re-post this on your blog and offer the same to the first 5 people who do the same on your blog.

Seeing as barely five people read my blog, there's not much competition to get your dazzeling home made thingamabob, but still, it's fun, huh?

Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day started out FANTABULOUS! We had a fun breakfast that Jason made while Rudy and I decorated. Unfortunately, as the day progressed our sick little man just got sicker, and his stressed out mama just got more stressed out. Phooey. Let's just say, if you had absolutely no interaction with me after about 11 am yesterday, count yourself extremely blessed. To the two sweet and wonderful men in my home, I apologize a thousand times. Jason and I agreed to give each other a rain check for a real valentine's date (when we can even go OUT, and when I will not be trying to feel romantic when what I'm really feeling is anxiety over Rudy's increasing cough and fever, exhaustion at the fact that he's not sleeping except on me, and generally overwhelmed trying to be the perfect wife, mother, housekeeper, financial planner, chef, etc.) whoo. Bad timing that my frothiness over flowed on Valentine's Day, but I'm happy to report that my valentine maintained his sweetness and rode in to save the day with kind understanding, no nonsense pep talking, moose tracks ice cream, and a funny movie to round the evening out. Hooray for my knight in shining armor! I love you, Jason. Thanks for loving me back, even on my batty days. :)
Anyway, back to the FANTABULOUS part of the day.

The finished product: cute table and scrumptious french toast. Rudy helped by decorating some of the hearts I hung up, and 'supervising' Jason's cooking.

Jason showing Rudy that french toast is delicious.

Rudy's not so sure he's ready to eat. I think he got a bit weirded out by all the fanfare. Usually it's just Rudy and me at breakfast (or any meal, for that matter-Jason is a busy guy!) and we always eat at Rudy's little table. Here he was at a decorated grown up table with both Mama and Daddy, who were a bit more into each other than him. Hmmm. What could he do to get more attention towards HIM? Pushing off the table and tipping back his chair definitely did the trick. (No worries, the tipping never got any further than what you see) :)

By the end of the meal, Rudy had established himself upon my lap, and was enjoying chocolate filled french toast with the rest of us. (Which, by the way, is the most decadent way to eat french toast, and the only acceptable way to eat it on Valentine's Day, which may as well be dubbed Chocolate Day, as much chocolate is consumed on that day.)

I had cut several bite size pieces for Rudy to stab with his fork, but instead, he went for the rest of the piece. A man with ambition!

Ta Da! That was our scrumptious breakfast. My compliments to the cook!

Rudy's New Hat

As we were getting ready to head out the door to run a few errands today, I realized that Rudy's hat was chillin' in our car, which was with Jason at work. Well, Rudy needed a hat for sure today, 'cause it was snowy and windy and just all around chilly, so (because I have a rockin' mom in law who gave me a sewing machine for my birthday last year) I sat down to sew Rudy a quick hat out of some fleece remnant I got for free at a garage sale last summer.

Rudy was totally stoked about the pattern: cars. Its the first time that he's ever shown any interest in what he's wearing. Maybe it was also cool to him because he watched me sew it on the machine which makes a very boy friendly whirring sound, but either way, he could hardly wait to put the thing on! It made me feel great to be able to not only provide for my baby's needs, but do so with flourish!

Hooray for sewing machines!

Hooray for free fleece!

Hooray for an excuse to use them both! :)

An Example of Forgiveness

Man. If the whole world could approach forgiveness the way little children do, this world would be a much more beautiful place. Heck, if I could approach forgiveness the way Rudy does, my world would be more beautiful too.
So, yesterday was not a model motherhood day. Nope. I woke up in that stressed, "I just can't take it anymore!" mode and hovered just shy of a blow out all morning. (Ever have those days?) Anyway, by the time Rudy had refused his second nap, my hovering was finished. I angrily sliced some cheese squares (hacked away at the cheese block would be a better description of what was actually happening) while Rudy bawled and writhed on the kitchen floor (he was also having a bit of a meltdowny day). Next I slapped the cheese plate down on his table, and plopped him into his chair with more gruffness than I care to admit. I stared him down with what I'm sure was a withering glare and commanded: "Eat!"
There was a moment of shocked silence as Rudy figured out how he had suddenly gone from a meltdown on the kitchen floor to a seated position in the living room. Then he got a look at my glare and changed his cry from angry, impatient protest to sad, forlorn, my mama's mad at me heart break. He got up from his table and kind of wandered down the hall crying in this pitiful way, like I'd just thrown him out of my life and he wasn't sure where he would go or what would become of him.
Now it was my turn to be heart broken. I felt terrible! Through my own tears, I reached out to him and asked him to come back. He hesitated for a moment, then burst into new tears and came running into my arms. He leaned his head on my shoulder and we just rocked for a good 5 minutes or more, until we were both reassured and ready to get on with snack time.
Rudy went to sit at his chair and he happily munched on his hacked up cheese, laughing and kidding with me like he always does. It was a beautiful feeling to know that he was totally over my angry outburst and was ready to enjoy my company again, trusting that my repentance had been sincere. We had fun for the rest of the day, and I am still basking in the beautiful simplicity of his forgiveness.
He let love conquer all the other emotions that were swimming around in his heart, and gave that love to one who had just mistreated him. His example greatly illustrated to me why the Lord would have us become "as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father." (Mosiah 3:10) Parenting is the best! (Even if sometimes I just can't take it anymore!) :)

My Little Helper

Rudy loves to "help" around the house. By now, he's actually beginning to clue into our routines enough to actually come close to real help. Here he is doing one of his favorite house chores: clearing the table and putting dishes into the dishwasher.

I always get nervous when he carries unfinished food to the kitchen-its hit or miss as to whether it ends up on our poor carpet or in the sink where it belongs. He's getting better and better about understanding to hold things level, though, so that's good. :)

Loading his dishes into the dishwasher: most of the time I need to rearrange after he finds a spot for his things, but he gets the main idea.

Rudy usually "trades" his stuff in. This time its a plastic bowl for a metal garlic press-a great deal if you ask me! (I always have to scour the house for stashed dirty dishes before starting the dishwasher)

Shutting the door

Locking the door. (Too bad he's figured out this feature-I have to keep knives up high on the counter until I'm actually going to run the dishwasher now)

And he's off to the next adventure at a run (of course)!

Rudy's Book Nook

My latest home improvement project was inspired by a 25 cent used poster being sold at our local library. It was so cool (and so cheap) I just had to buy it. The poster details the Land of Enchantment (or something like that) with tons of traditional fairy tales, etc. Some are really familiar to me like, The Three Little Pigs, Jack and the Bean Stalk, and The Princess and the Pea, but others are yet unknown- stories like The Seven Swans and The Drakestail.

Anyway, its fun to look at, and it fits Rudy's room colors really well. At first I was going to hang it over his crib or some other adult friendly place, but then I realized Rudy wouldn't be able to examine all the cool details and remember the stories he knows and wonder what the others are about. (I know Rudy's probably not thinking quite so complexly yet, but he'll be telling me fairy tales before I know it, I'm sure. Its amazing how flabbergastingly fast babies turn to toddlers and toddlers turn to preschoolers!)

Rudy has this special corner of his room he's kind of claimed as his personal hideout. It's where he runs if we're playing chase, where he hides if he's trying to be sly about something, where he retreats if he just needs some quiet alone time (which usually lasts about 30 seconds before he's ready to lead another expedition with me as his assistant). I'd already thrown a couple uncovered pillows in the corner to snuggle (or wrestle) with, which he had appreciated, so I thought, "Why not cozy this hideout up a bit?"

I was a bit worried he'd feel invaded upon (I know I didn't like anyone rearranging ANYTHING in my childhood hideouts) but I guess he's still flexible in that regard. Anyway, I taped the poster up as "wall paper", covered the pillows with a quilt cover to turn them into a "couch" and added a box full of some of Rudy's favorite books. Now we read books in our cozy book nook every morning to ease into the idea of being awake (I'm the one that needs the easing--Rudy's usually ready to conquer the world by 6 am.)

Voila!

Maria, The Barber

I have now given my first ever complete hair cut. There were no huge mistakes (i.e. no bald spots) but there is definitely room for improvement. Luckily for me, Rudy is still way too young to be worried about whether all his hairs are even. (Though he did notice the difference in his appearance: when we were brushing teeth before bed he did a total hair check out in the mirror. Super cute!) Anyway, practice makes perfect. Thanks to Sunshine for sharing her mommy, and thanks to Lauren for holding my squiggly little boy and getting ultra fine baby hair all over her. :)

I think the main reason the side of his hair is sticking out is from his still healing skull fracture, but I probably still need to clean it up a bit, too. Or maybe I'll just let it be-I don't want to end up trimming him down to his follicles!

"I Fart, Therefore I Am." A Mad Libs Date Night

Last night, Jason and I went out to IHOP and sipped on their scrumptious hot chocolate while working riddles, puzzles, and a few Mad Libs we printed off the Internet. It was a great time, and the crowning moment of the evening came as we were doing our last Mad Libs story. Jason and I were all snoodled up on the same bench (probably sickeningly so for some-but I don't care :) ) and it was Jason's turn to add a word to the story. I'd just asked him to give me an adjective, and he said "fart". I told him "fart" is not an adjective, and he (who was thinking "verb" when I said "adjective") proceeded to tell me how fart can be an adjective (read verb). He looked me straight in the eye and in a matter of fact kind of manner told me, "I fart, I'm farting, I farted." This just as a waitress walks by our table. I wonder if she rolled her eyes at Jason's miserable dating etiquette (we all try not to fart on a date, but NOBODY announces the transgression, especially not in a play by play kind of format!) Or maybe she held her breath as she passed by us moments later with the syrup the people a few tables down had requested. I don't know-by then we were both cracking up and I could barely see through my tear filled eyes. (I always cry when I get laughing really hard.) I know it's kind of juvenile to get so snickery over words describing bodily functions, but sometimes its fun to throw grown up out the window and revisit being 5 again. :) Here's the completed story that brought on Jason's announcement of flatulence. We think its great, but maybe its one of those "you gotta be there" kind of things. Read it if you want- Jason and I will have fun reading it to each other when we're so old there's no such thing as holding in your "fluffs" as a friend of mine was taught to call them. (Old age will be great that way- no one will expect you to abide strictly to social rules, plus, by then, we'll have tons of funny memories to cackle about in our lazy boys.) :) Anyway, back to the story. The words we provided are in bold.

We weren't allowed to go in the sauna and we really didn't want to--it was succulent and superfluous and smelled like fart. The steps leading down into the sauna were odoriferous and there was a luminous jellyfish next to the daisy. It felt confused and we wanted to run. We farted toward the sauna 27 steps at a time till our pyloric sphincters hopped fartingly and we were too scared to wretch. There was always a stammerous bread stick coming up from below the needle nose pliers and we weren't brave enough to spit it.
One day there was a pinging sound. It was coming from the sauna. We wanted to know what was making the sound, but we were afraid we might laugh. We shed and drank, but each time the fear would conquer over us, and we would back away, terrified. Finally, Dustin decided to face the fear and go down to the sauna. When we didn't hear leaving we became encouraged and followed behind, praying we would not be growled by whatever it was that mowed and incorporated down there. When we made it to the very bottom, we matriculated ventricles wrapped tightly around each other, barely coloring. Then, we saw it. It was splendiferous and it was complaining harmoniously. We moved closer, we couldn't breathe...It was Rudy incarcerating the salt shakers in the widget.

Jason and I should be published, don't you think? :)