It really does. I can barely wrap my mind around what my life has become these past TWO years...yes, it has been OVER two years since diagnosis, surgery, radiation, chemo and vitamin C infusions. Actually just a year since the last 2, but who's counting anyway ;).
I find it a little funny and equally as sad that when life was hard and I was sick, I was able to keep up on this blog...maybe it was because I was home a lot more, maybe it was death staring me in the face, maybe it was because cancer was the only thing (or at least in the top three things) I could think about. Whatever it was, it is gone. I've returned to my "super-human" form and now face the daily battle of living my life with "normal" worries, an improved perspective (constant battle) and remembering this life on Earth is so short and can change forever in an instant.
Let me back up a little bit and tell you how I am doing...FANTASTIC! I've had 2 MRI's since I last posted and the "black hole" in my brain is still an empty black hole. Do not worry...an empty black hole is what we want. Whatever tumor remained after surgery has shrunk into nothing because of the treatment I followed. My doctors know there are still cancer cells in there, but as long as they don't get together and start duplicating and forming another tumor, I get to keep living my incredible life doing just about everything I did before!
I'm still following a vegan diet that I adhere to pretty strictly. I believe in the diet and truly feel it has worked for me. I see my naturopath yearly for blood work and will follow up with him to start Vitamin C infusions again if it becomes necessary (when the tumor grows back.) MRI's are now 4 months apart (started bimonthly) where I see my oncologist. I'm almost weened from my anti-seizure meds and will only be taking natural supplements. PHEW! See? I'm doing pretty great!
Matt and I are training for races and running A LOT and I absolutely LOVE it! We are just getting into the best time of year in Phoenix where I can literally walk out the door at anytime and get my run in. Makes life a lot simpler.
Now that you are caught up on the cancer specifics, I want to announce that I am turning this blog back into my family journal. You don't have to do anything ;), I just wanted to warn you that the cancer posts will be much fewer and farther between because cancer has taken the backseat in my life and I'm focused on my loved ones every minute I've been blessed with. There is a TON I haven't posted so I am going to post one month at a time of the past two years of what I have been doing to celebrate my life on this Earth.
I have a good, good life and can actually say I'm thankful I've been given such an enormous trial. Without it, I know I wouldn't cherish my moments, be picky with what I choose to spend my time doing or have a greater understanding of what this life is about. I've grown in ways that wouldn't be possible without a trial of this magnitude and I know I will be eternally blessed for it.
Although I do not miss laying in bed all day or shuffling down the hallway hunched over to answer the door, I do miss the relationship I had with my Savior during the early days of my diagnosis. I knew He was the only one that could understand my specific pain and struggle because He has already suffered for me. The hours I spent on my knees begging and crying for Him to cure me and then realizing I needed to let His will be done are some of the most sacred feelings and memories I'm sure I'll ever have. Allowing Him to carry me and finally strengthen me was so humbling and at the same time, so comforting, it still brings tears to my eyes when I think of it.
These memories, feelings and most of all knowledge I've gained makes battling terminal brain cancer 100% worth it. This is my life and I've got one chance, whether that be long or short, to make it worth it and that is what I am doing.
