In the name of Allah,
Most Gracious, Most Merciful,
Praise be to Allah,
the Cherisher and Sustainer of the Worlds,
and Peace and Prayer be upon the Final Prophet and Messenger. Abdullah Yusuf Ali, The Holy Quran
***
Ramadhan. A month of blessings and purification.
***
I haven't been at ease since morning. God knows how empty I feel inside right now. Here I am, typing away on my friend's brother computer, in a room, located somewhere in the heart of KL.
I need to rant.
All my life I have been searching for what am I destined to do. And the thing that I'm doing right now, dentistry, isn't one of my passion. At all. Should my dean saw what I am writing here, yes, it's true. Despite all that you have done for me, I'm sorry Dr, I just have no interest in whatever I am doing now.
I am not motivated at all by what I'm studying, hence the reason why I rarely, oh God, no, let me rephrase that: hence the reason why I never wrote about my course. At all.
I know there are people out there who would kill, well, figuratively, to be in the course that I'm taking right now.
But putting that aside, I don't even know what I want to do with my life. Tell me, what can you say to a person who have no clue at all on how she'll be seeing herself in the next few years? I can't even see myself in the next few weeks. I sound demotivated and broken, I know, but I keep on wondering to myself, is this the life that I really want to live? I don't feel a sense of purpose, at all.
The reason for this post is because I am about to receive the result that will literally change everything.
Last year I didn't manage to make it to 2nd year because I failed my First Year Final exam. So, yes, I have to repeat the first year and now, I am waiting for my 2nd time First Year Final exam result, again. And the result will be out some time after 5 or 6 pm.
Truth is, the feeling's kind of different. I struggled this year, and by Allah, I tried to get up every time my problems started to weigh me down. I tried, I really tried.
People expected me to pass this one, but I, I don't know. I'll just see how it goes, maybe.
Truth is, I don't really care what the outcome will be. What I want to know is, whether this course is really for me or not. Of course, if I passed, then I'll just continue doing what I'm doing right now.
But if I don't, then, I really don't know what I should do, really.
Really, I don't have a plan B...I don't.
All is left now is to put it all on Him.
I trust You, Allah, so help me.
Show me The Right Way.
Most Gracious, Most Merciful,
Praise be to Allah,
the Cherisher and Sustainer of the Worlds,
and Peace and Prayer be upon the Final Prophet and Messenger. Abdullah Yusuf Ali, The Holy Quran
***
Ramadhan. A month of blessings and purification.
***
I haven't been at ease since morning. God knows how empty I feel inside right now. Here I am, typing away on my friend's brother computer, in a room, located somewhere in the heart of KL.
I need to rant.
All my life I have been searching for what am I destined to do. And the thing that I'm doing right now, dentistry, isn't one of my passion. At all. Should my dean saw what I am writing here, yes, it's true. Despite all that you have done for me, I'm sorry Dr, I just have no interest in whatever I am doing now.
I am not motivated at all by what I'm studying, hence the reason why I rarely, oh God, no, let me rephrase that: hence the reason why I never wrote about my course. At all.
I know there are people out there who would kill, well, figuratively, to be in the course that I'm taking right now.
But putting that aside, I don't even know what I want to do with my life. Tell me, what can you say to a person who have no clue at all on how she'll be seeing herself in the next few years? I can't even see myself in the next few weeks. I sound demotivated and broken, I know, but I keep on wondering to myself, is this the life that I really want to live? I don't feel a sense of purpose, at all.
The reason for this post is because I am about to receive the result that will literally change everything.
Last year I didn't manage to make it to 2nd year because I failed my First Year Final exam. So, yes, I have to repeat the first year and now, I am waiting for my 2nd time First Year Final exam result, again. And the result will be out some time after 5 or 6 pm.
Truth is, the feeling's kind of different. I struggled this year, and by Allah, I tried to get up every time my problems started to weigh me down. I tried, I really tried.
People expected me to pass this one, but I, I don't know. I'll just see how it goes, maybe.
Truth is, I don't really care what the outcome will be. What I want to know is, whether this course is really for me or not. Of course, if I passed, then I'll just continue doing what I'm doing right now.
But if I don't, then, I really don't know what I should do, really.
Really, I don't have a plan B...I don't.
All is left now is to put it all on Him.
I trust You, Allah, so help me.
Show me The Right Way.
 |
| “Sufficient for us is Allah, and [He is] the best Disposer of affairs.” |
"Sometimes we can't just say "Allah has a better plan for us."
We have to believe He does."
Comments
Post a Comment
Speak good, or remain silent. (Bukhari & Muslim)