jessica alba

hahahah.nice weekend man..i slacked the whole 3 days.

spent 2 days watching one whole hongkong drama serial.nice! i love this la.i totally dig this life..its like.life after exams.whats the diff? just that dont have to be troubled whole day by this shit blocking there..hahah.no more exams.free slack.but not much diff from now la actually.

okay..im so dead.i cant even remember ANYTHING for chem..so? hahaha.i've already screwed up la.like i scared..come and get me la exams...

haha.9724.this sat's first prize...i wonder why we didnt have a subject code which was 9724..hahaha.shit.

well anyway.i just think..that.....its gonna be 1 more week.before most of the shit is over..in this seven days.i have 3 days to rest..thats bad..very bad..why cant we just end it this week la..zz.

saturday sunday monday...sunday was way too great man...ran with yj.it was fun.

too fat la..im just a fatass.come niao me please.im a fatass.

adversity? it isnt what i like..it isnt what i can fight..im a loser man.

acceptance....is what we wish for ourselves, while always denying others...isnt that right? hahahaha.i cant believe it..i bet this is karma.

more often than not, life holds many surprises waiting for us..its just like a board game..let me explain this damn clearly..

sometimes..it just takes 1 turn..1 roll of die..to kick you out of the game..one moment you're the richest man in the game *claps*..the next.just cos you rolled some wrong number.you're gone...you're bankrupt....its about chance man.life is simply about chance..so many things can change just by one small act, by one small speech, one THING..whatever that THING is..

sometimes when i get lucky..im like..wow.omg, how'd i do that anyway? wow.what were the chances..but i did it..and im like..omg.thanks man.it could have just simply..NOT happened..similiarly, when im facing a whole load of shit.im always thinking.shit it.it could have NOT happened.if only i did this this this that that that..whatever la..

the point is..its so...confusing..and funny..how things happen just like that.im not complaining..i mean.it can be great at times.but...if you're on the bad side of the deal..unlucky you.hahaha.just..yahh.unlucky you.

sometimes theres no reason one..or rather...i should say.there's no justifiable reason why shit happens to you, or why you always get the good end of the deal..it just happens..whatever happens.deal with it..even if its some shit.you gotta learn to eat shit..shit comes, eat shit, shit shit..thats it.shit's gone..wait for the next pile to come la...its a metaphor.bi3 yu4(with two dots above the U)

chances chances chances..and im wondering..ppl are telling me the chance of striking lottery is low..hahahah.wth man....what are the chances of you getting bad luck a whole year? i mean..i got it what..so??? why cant strike lottery? what are the odds..

just ranting la..it doesnt make alot of sense..i hope that..even 1 year on when i read this again.i'll go "what was i doing typing this shit post when i could have been studying for chem paper 2?" but..as of now..i dont care..next year stuff, next year say..

its a tough period for everyone la..you see ppl stressing all arnd you..but think about it.does it mean that in this tough period of time we forsake everything else? including friends? well..im not saying that by not putting exams as my top priority, im right..im not...but the thing is..does it have to go to the extent where we totally shut everything out? okay la..maybe its just because studies are seriously not my top priority..

i dont like it when ppl tell me all the time..if you dont get this A lvl cert, you dont get this degree what can you do? at least get a degree la.then next time whatever you want to do you will do well in it..i dont want can? ppl can choose what they wan right? i want to rot..i dont have the will or whatever you guys have..studying all year round..trying to do well..always thinking of being the top of the class..top of the school.top of singapore..ya la.so what if you achieve it..*claps* its a great achievement.im not doubting that..and im sure i can NEVER achieve it..but so what? its good for you..but not everyone wants it what...right or not..

many ppl work..they study hard even if they dont like it because they know they must..they can prioritize..they know that when they get their degree..they can do whatever they want..so they just study for this last 2 years..and just chiong the a lvls..and after that they wreak havoc..

but really..its not for me..i've never wanted to study..worst thing is..i dont work for money..as in.i dont have the goal of wanting to make lots of money..maybe thats bad..i just want enough money for myself..thats all.not more..that brings about less drive..maybe its cos im naive..i always think that there'll be a way for me to survive..well..whatever.10 years down the road when i take up a job which is deemed by the society as less desirable as compared to others..MAYBE i'll decide that studying hard was the best choice for me..as of now.im too fking shortsighted to see anything okay?

whatever man.

dont know why i got so pissed doing this anyway..it was supposed to be fun

anyway.jessica alba rocks

bye

i've got it all figured out

two tuesdays later..i'll be drinking like crazy cos it'll unofficially be the end of A lvls..2 weeks later.i just hope these 14 days will past really fast..

whiskey.beer.vodka.all of you..coming back to me.in 2 weeks' time..

thanks everyone for all the support.

06 ppl..you guys are really great.thanks so much for the help during this stressful period of shit.

4P..lets do it.its this time of the year again.

thanks to ah gor for letting me study at her place, always asking me to study hard, and making me coffee when i needed it

thanks to my little sis who always tries to cheer me up.haha.you cheer up also.pw..where got kick.hahaha.joking la.

thanks to all our tutors..for never giving up on me, always believing that i can make it...warning first.i dont think i can do it this time.no joke.its not about no confidence.sometimes, some things are impossible..impossible is not nothing..its how much you do to make it nothing..i didnt do much.but thanks anyway.ms chua,ms tan,mr yip,ms kat,mr bell..and the pe teachers for always encouraging me when i see them..thanks.

thanks to all my other friends..i'm glad to have known all of you..made a real positive difference in my life.all the best!

thanks to my parents for showing me unwavering support despite alr being told that im bound to die for A lvls.

thanks to my brothers for shutting up whenever i study home so that i can concentrate slightly better.

thanks to my teammates..haiz.i dont know what to say.you guys are simply....such a huge part of my life that if i were to erase it away, i wouldnt know myself anymore..thanks for all the support.all the help.all the stayovers =) always remember our spirit

thanks to jacky and li hong for their wonderful music to help me pull through this shitty shit..

im just going in to do whatever i can..im sorry i couldnt have started studying earlier to do everyone proud..

i'll be up again....when all the shit ends

time to shave my beard..shave my sideburn.do some last minute math..and prepare to end this tomorrow.entry proof..i need to remind myself..omg.

goodbye

lol

this is retarded..

yesterday went woodlands lib to study with ec and jason..hahaha.it was super cool.i was late actually.we were set to meet at 9 at woodlands.but i woke up at 8.30.do the math, cmi ma..and i had to wait for my mum to come back from market anyway..so just slacked arnd till like about 9.30 then set off.reached there luckily they got seats alr.hahaha.what a lucky table..with that incident..haha.i think dont talk about it online better.its so retarded anyway..zz but it was funny and it was a great day..i dont get it man..how idiotic can people get? fighting over such a small incident..zz.at least i got some work done la.i mean.thats not bad already.for me...ahhh.it was a great day spent at the library and causewaypoint..dont know why.i always feel better on saturdays..its like all the misery from monday to friday just goes away on saturday because i see my teammates..

i dont know how we forged such a bond la.i dont see cca ppl being so close most of the time..maybe its cos we didnt really treat it as our cca..im really looking forward to us going out again..our trip.we better go.

thanks for the tarts anyway ec..and thanks jason for paying the cabfare..thanks man.woodlands to home was kinda far, but with the cab ride.it seemed okay la.hahah

yesterday night was so retarded also..cos i was feeling sick from eating all that pasta and kinda tired, i slept early la..part 1 i dreamt about being in some camp.and i was sleeping and there was this big flying cockcroach and my sleep was disrupted..hahah.but the dream ended at about..3+ 4+ in the morning..i woke up to pee..coming out from the toilet, i heard noise in the balcony, i was like omg..it was some weird noise.so i just pretend never see never hear faster go my room sleep.i lay down on the bed.and i thought i cldnt fall asleep already.but luckily la.after awhile i did..when i awoke.hahahahhahah.it was the most retarded shit that ever happened in my life okay.i will remember this forever.

torrye.wtf.

ahhh..tuesday start alr.in 2 weeks time.most of the papers will be over and done with..then.i'll just be a goner..but..aiya.whatever la.

我看破了。。不知为何，你要在最后紧要关头才回到我身边。。我说的是我的自信。你为何要那么晚会来呢？我不了解。难道我永远都得体会这种后悔的痛苦吗？无法胜利，是因为我永远都无法在最后关头之前找回自信，找回激励自己的原因。。。。所以每次都得感到后悔。嗨。。说到来，还是自己的错嘛。。

i must be strong..i must get stronger...i musn't let this happen again..

i can see it more clearly now....

hahah.cant regret it again.

goodbye

shit this

很多时候，很多事看似很美好，但拥有后才明白那只是幻想中的美丽。。

i ran with yj yesterday.hahah.lyj..it was great la..considering i havent seen him in ages + i havent ran in ages..

the 3 weeks of self-study have come to an end..

one word to describe my life now: screwed

its so close to A lvls, im so dead..and im not even....aiya.i dont know.

today is a great day for me..hahaa..its a great day.

不要太在意，因为它至少给了你多些期待的时光，不失件好事

thanks hs..

bye

但有时候。。期望越大，失望越大。

zzz

im going to run later..for sure

1. to release endorphins.
2. to lose weight..omg..1 week never run.so damn freaking fat.omg..omg.omg...sucks.

havent swam in a damn damn long time..cant do this.im going to swim soon..i realised that..swimming is like.if you stop, you just get worse and worse and worse and soon you really cant swim.running isnt the same luh...you can run less for a period of time, but at the end of it you still can run one..swimming..omg.you stop for awhile, front crawl 10 laps kill alr..tmr morning.okay.tmr morning i'll go swim.haha

im going to run tonight anyway..omg im really scared about a lvls.omg omg.so scared how how how.im going to die

yeah right..panic also no use right.just chiong all the way lah.tmd..

yes fulham win.i win.yeah..

after A's, vacation, training, singing.omg.fun

bye

i finally found something worth fighting for

yesterday was a weird day for me..

as usual i woke up very early..but.....i didnt do anything.just sat there in front of the tv from 6 to 9...then i remembered i had a studying schedule to follow.

hmm..then packed up my stuff and went to hc to find jason..didnt do much la..half of ny math, half of nj math..thats all..zzz..totally like shit..gahh..played ball.omg.we played 1 on 1 for.40 mins or so.im seriously so....tired..backache esp.i can feel it there.the strain.zzz.

yesterday..the lightning was imba..it was hiong until..zz.like it was going to kill..it was so near...i thought i didnt value my life anymore..i kept thinking.aiya.doesnt matter if i die now la..nothing worth for me to live anyway..but..when i saw the lightning so close yesterday, i actually felt scared..damn scared.and i know..that....yeahh..i still have things to live for.

ppl change..they change all the time.sometimes maybe cos they say sth out of a moment's rage, others take it too harshly..and the whole impression of them changes.just like that..snap...i remember that in the past, i was so affected by this kinda things..now less.ppl rage, let them rage..say finish alr next time still friends.

okay...errrr...lets see.what else to say.nothing...im so dead for A lvls......this week sucked all the way till friday.....and...errrr.........i hope all the shit is over soon.sucks to this shit.

byebye

Dedicated to the number 14