take a look

taking out my 6230i...omg.i read the inbox..and i realised how much happened in one year..fk..i shouldnt have even touched that phone la..gahh...shit.

brings back everything now..damn it.

god...can i have one more chance pls?

i was just starting to embrace my new life with some enthusiasm.

its probably bad karma for me..doing too many bad things which caused zc to lose his phone and indirectly caused him to use 6230i which prompted me to use, which also caused me to take up the phone again.

sian...i dont knw what to do tmr man..seriously.

ciao

fingerprints sell me out

i really feel damn fan2 these few days..good and bad la

some things..i really...let go alr....i mean.no point carrying it anymore..

i need some help.lol

yeahh.anyway.chem spa and econs test is over..thank god.

choir tmr..tired ahh...aji auditions on friday.zz

going off to sleep..need to bitch tmr..

ciao

i'm guilty but i'm safe for one more day

yesterday was kinda fun.hahahah

friday night ec told me that sat couldnt play ball cos everyone had training..hahah.luckily bball no training.but we didnt play ball la..just went back to shoot with jason...then ec and bert joined us...went to town in the afternoon, met eddy.

hahah.watched valkyrie..not bad la.didnt eat dinner..met cal and jk at ps..they walked past kfc.i saw iskandar first.hahaha.

went home after that..fruitful day..well relaxed.

today just slacked all the way la..felt sick...phlegm and stuff la.

i was watching pavarotti's vids of nessun dorma on youtube..everytime after he sings..he stands there..and smiles with satisfaction...the pleasure he must get from doing the song well..i'll probably never understand that.

later still must go out.lol

ciao

what

no matter what you do..there will be people who disagree with your ways.

we were insensitive.but there are some things..which were purely misunderstandings..

it was meant to be a prelude..so that we could actually get around to talking to her about the matter...we also wanted to know how she felt about it..and how we could possibly solve the underlying problems..

it wasnt meant to be a confrontation.it wasnt meant to be a bitchfest.it wasnt meant to be a group of people gathering to shoot one person down..

we cant expect her to change so that we can feel better..its important that she feels happy about what shes doing..so as guys.we have to accommodate...we're guys..

we cant change her..she has the rights to be who she wants to be..as friends/classmates.we can give her suggestions on certain areas..whether she changes or not..we cannot decide..and we can only accept her choice.

our mannerism was wrong.from the start.

ON A TOTALLY DIFFERENT NOTE

i know i cant change anything alr..its been such a long time..just accept it and move on with my own life la..through so many other things.i've realised that some things, are just things that happen and they just happen due to many reasons.and...after they happen, you just cant change it back..because it does not only concern you...to repair it.you need to change the views of the people concerned.you need to show them that they were wrong about you..and a whole lot of other stuff.

hahah.knowing you cant change anything..the feeling kinda sucks eh? well..it doesnt suck that much alr la..yeahh.smile more and be happier..benefits everybody.lol

ciao

you can put the blame on me

you may think its wrong..but why dont you think of it from my perspective....

its not easy to be composed under those conditions k.

fked up..cant sing.cant play piano.cant play guitar.cant play bball.cant study..

signs of low self esteem..ppl always like to put themselves down so that they can look good when they dont perform as well...ehhh.really..im not doing that leh.im really very weak one..really really..ppl agree that im weak..

just say what you mean and act what you mean

ciao

zzz

went back to hc to play bball today.hahah.didnt play much la..but its really more about the company.yeahh..

lunch as usual then went to town for movie..zzz.piang ehhh..saturday no escaping..everywhere 10$..zzz

tired..hahaha.wanna sleep soon.

everytime i stare at this screen i forget what i wanted to post..hahahah.

oh yeah..tmr ec's birthday.happy birthday ec!

errrr.anyway..i cant remember alr.hahah.but i really had alot of fun today with my teammates..

valentine's day..not everyone as heng to have a girlfriend or at least a love interest la....singles bachelor party la.

ciao

bring it on

looking at the way things have been going on..i think..im glad...im really glad i have these many things to worry about..no joke.i really like it alot.well.at least it takes my mind off the stuff that i shouldnt care about..

ppl have different interests..they have different thoughts..before we jump to conclusions..always think la.reflect upon what you have done..actually its perfectly okay if you dont reflect.but if you dont reflect then dont kaobei la..if you reflect and you think that you dont give a damn..then continue doing what you wanna do lo..no one can tell you whats right and whats wrong..its really up to you..what you want to do.

ppl can tell you that you're being guailan..but if you dont mind..then its perfectly fine..believe in your own set of morals la.nobody really has the right to tell you what to do...no matter what you do..someone's going to say something..so whats the point..just do what you want to la..okay la..i meant that to a certain extent.

you see..if jc has taught me anything other than all the academic stuff..its about how to handle disappointment..and......how to move on in life..i didnt want it to be this way..i can really really really really say..i tried.i TRIED..i really did.i wanted it to end well..but it had to go this way...so how?

you commit a big error..people get angry with you for doing that..you apologise..its too late..you try to make up for your errors..but you cant do anything..because what is done is done..and you can just go and cry and bang your heads out thinking of ways to try harder..but you're never forgiven because its difficult to put the past behind..soon..you get damn tired trying..you remember that you onced promised to keep trying till you fixed stuff..you continue trying..there are circumstances, chances...purely coincidental stuff, which make you damn tired on top of your main problem..soon....damn soon.you know that you have to give up trying....because you were so fucking stupid to do dumb stuff in the first place..and now no matter what you do, you're never going to get your friend back..

when you're faced with situations like this....you can get all the time to sleep...but you'll never be able to fall asleep without lying in bed for at least 2 hours.

im not joking..every night before you go to sleep.you tell yourself..no thinking tonight..i need to sleep..you lie down..and everything just comes back..you try your best to forget...try to sleep..try to sleep..it gets more and more uncomfortable..and you really feel so fucked up that you cant do a shit but just sit there and curse yourself...you dont really have many ppl to count on at that hour..what can you do?? just sit there...trying to sleep..occasionally.you leave tears behind..what can you do??????? you just regret and regret and regret and regret and regret..nothing more.

and the next morning..you have to go to school smiling, lying to yourself that everything is going to be fine...who to blame but yourself? LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


great life..


screw it man


ciao

tired

hahaha.had quite a long day..im glad its over.

much as i want to sing shh..i knw i cant do it...

yeahhh.i knw how lousy i sing lahh..

hah.another day at school tmr..when does it end?

ciao

fruitful day

went back to hc today..couldnt play bball..cos of the damned injury..

but anyway..had fun.saw mrs tay...lol.dont say we didnt visit k.

then went ljy house to play mahjong..sian.close shave..or..close flick.lol

hahaha..tired la..hahaha.

tmr time to do some hw.hahaha.and i want to go for a checkup tmr...

ciao

its pointless still feeling sad..seemingly.the matter is supposed to be a thing of the past...yeahh

celebrated jj's birthday today..although today's not his birthday.hahah.happy day for him luh =)

yeahhhh..anyway.day after day.i realise things..yeah.

its been time for me to go for a long time alr..

maybe i should really leave.

the reason i've been having short short posts is cos i really dont have much to say. dont expect much of someone who doesnt want to save himself..

school is plain boring..boring is when you dont want to do things you like to do..whatever la..whether you're happy or sad.its really not your choice...you're just deluding yourself if you think "hey.why should i care if things dont go my way..no point being sad right? might as well be happy since nothing can be done!" and so you go on smiling and living your own life..gosh..anything happens.just say nothing can be done anyway..what has happened has alr happened...doesnt anyone want to fight for anything?

oh yeahh.just another note.always think in different perspectives..it can be enriching...really.

ciao

when does it end?

kk la..dont need get so worked up..i try my best can? i TRY my best..try

i dont know how it got this way..but i guess..i'll never find out...today..is the 3rd of february 2009..

请你当作我已不在。。

what a nice night..thank you god.

i must stay strong..traits of a boy learning to be a man..no crying this time.

people turn to different ways to relieve their stress..to make themselves happy..i think embracing sadness is the best way..just take it..let it torture you..dont let it kill you..

ciao

can you really?

gosh man..i really need to give my mind and my heart a break....emotional matters really kill me.

whole load of homework unfinished la...its gonna roll into a snowball..

the j1s are coming in tmr..gahhh.gonna make the whole school crowded again..

im so freaking unsure of what i want..determination falters..

zzz.its the time of the day when i cant think straight again.gahhh..

dont want la.i dont want to think alr.k...i want to go to sleep now.really.

with a whole load of freaking hw unfinished..i dont give a damn.

i just need a push to get me started..

gosh..this is lame..

i pray..

ciao

Dedicated to the number 14