Thursday, December 10, 2015
Divorce
I really enjoyed talking about this in class because it helped shed new light on the topic. My husbands parents got divorced not too long ago and I was having some issues with it because my husband was having issues with it, It was really hard to see him get pulled into things and I would get really frustrated at his parents. Then things became more clear. I realized how hard this was on everyone and that his parents weren't pulling him into the situation because he was already in it before this all happened. I had to realize that I will never be able to understand 100% how everything is because it is not MY family. I didn't grow up with them and I didn't feel the pain they went through. Just as my husband will never 100% know what my family has gone through, but I realized the best thing I could do is just be there. Be there for him and be there for him to have someone to talk to and confide in.
Saturday, November 28, 2015
Parenting
Another topic I could go on forever about!
Being a good parent is not about being better than someone else or comparing children's grades or comparing their athletic abilities. It's about knowing what your children need and being there for them. Every child is different. They come to us very unique and very ready to learn. We need to teach them and be there for them and seek to understand them and help them figure out who they are. We are here to provide structure for them and to help them learn and to teach them right from wrong. We are not here to be their probation officer and make sure they never do anything wrong and make sure they only do things that you allow them to do. We need to be loving and caring and set a good example for them. They will learn and grow and we need to learn and grow with them. Parenting is hard, but if you just remember how much they need you and how much they love you, it will make life a lot easier.
Being a good parent is not about being better than someone else or comparing children's grades or comparing their athletic abilities. It's about knowing what your children need and being there for them. Every child is different. They come to us very unique and very ready to learn. We need to teach them and be there for them and seek to understand them and help them figure out who they are. We are here to provide structure for them and to help them learn and to teach them right from wrong. We are not here to be their probation officer and make sure they never do anything wrong and make sure they only do things that you allow them to do. We need to be loving and caring and set a good example for them. They will learn and grow and we need to learn and grow with them. Parenting is hard, but if you just remember how much they need you and how much they love you, it will make life a lot easier.
Family Under Stress
A family under stress can only work as well as the parents are working. Children don't usually have good coping skills and don't know how to handle difficult situations. As parents, you need to model how to deal with tough situations and help your children through them. If a child is having more trouble than you can handle, you can always get into counseling. Don't send them by themselves. Do family counseling. That way you can work through problems as a family and you can also help at home on how to deal with the problems.
Families go through so many things and it is so easy to get discouraged when it comes to family crisis' because you can feel like you are a failure as a parent, but just remember to push. Do all that you can, be there for your family help them through these hard times and that will be enough. Children need their parents and parents need to help their children.
Families go through so many things and it is so easy to get discouraged when it comes to family crisis' because you can feel like you are a failure as a parent, but just remember to push. Do all that you can, be there for your family help them through these hard times and that will be enough. Children need their parents and parents need to help their children.
Sexuality in Marriage
Now, I could probably talk about this for days, but I won't because I want to keep it short and simple. Sex is good. Having sex regularly is a sign of a good relationship. You should want to be with the person you love in that way. You should want to give them all of you and they should return that desire for you. Men and women are different and they need different things and feel differently. That being said, every sexual relationship is different, just as every relationship is different. If you feel dissatisfied, talk to your partner. Communication is key. Just as when you are talking about difficult situations you shouldn't be pointing fingers or saying harmful things. Have a conversation and figure out a solution together.
Transitions in Marriage
Marriage is not the end of the road. Sometimes, as young adults, marriage can seem like the finish line. Like "YAY WE MADE IT!" but in reality it is just the beginning.You have you first learn how be married. Especially, if you haven't been living with that person... moving in is a BIG adjustment. Deciding who can put what where and figuring out if they like to have their stuff moved, etc. That takes a while to get used to. Even getting used to sleeping at night with someone, merging your finances, deciding where you want to live, deciding where to go for the holidays, learning to cope with difficult situations, and the list goes on and on.
Then you throw in having children! Now talk about stress. Not only do you have to support yourselves, but now a tiny person who can do absolutely nothing on their own. And if you both have jobs, who will watch the child? Will you put them in daycare or will one of you quit your job? Then if you quit your job will you even be able to afford the child? The stress continues to grow. But it also will grow you two together and creating a family will bond you together and your love will increase for one another.
Lastly, when the children are all gone. You are all by yourself again like before you had children, only this time you have a few more wrinkles on your face and your hair may be getting a little ashy, but now what? What do you do without children. You once again have to adjust your lifestyle and continue to build your relationship while you watch your children do the same.
Then you throw in having children! Now talk about stress. Not only do you have to support yourselves, but now a tiny person who can do absolutely nothing on their own. And if you both have jobs, who will watch the child? Will you put them in daycare or will one of you quit your job? Then if you quit your job will you even be able to afford the child? The stress continues to grow. But it also will grow you two together and creating a family will bond you together and your love will increase for one another.
Lastly, when the children are all gone. You are all by yourself again like before you had children, only this time you have a few more wrinkles on your face and your hair may be getting a little ashy, but now what? What do you do without children. You once again have to adjust your lifestyle and continue to build your relationship while you watch your children do the same.
Fathers
I feel like these days, fathers are so underrated. Fathers play an important role in families. Father help show their young boys how to be a Father and start making habits to be success. The best way of learning is through observation. Especially while the children are in the Monkey-See- Monkey- Do phase of life. Both boys and girls need to see their father in everyday life. They need to see how a father provides for a family or how a father loves their mother or how a father deals with difficult situations. A mother and a father both play equally important roles in family life. So why so we think its normal for a father to leave? When a mother leaves her children it is shocking and very unheard of. Whereas a father leaving is much more common and it is looked over sometimes and almost expected. Why is that? We need to change our mind set and remember that fathers are just as important as mothers.
Thursday, November 5, 2015
Marriage?
What can I say about marriage?
In the past year I have learned a lot about marriage.. from being married.
When I was dating my husband I was so sure I was ready for marriage. I wanted to be married to him and wanted to always be with him. However, it was a big shock when I got married. It wasn't that I wasn't prepared for marriage, but marriage is not a black and white subject. Ever marriage is vastly different. Different backgrounds, different communication skills, different lives, different temperaments. So you can take advice from other people and their marriages all you want, but yours will not work like theirs because they are not the same. I think it is not a matter of being prepared because you can't prepare for something you don't know what is going to happen, but you can push through it and work together as you go.
In the past year I have learned a lot about marriage.. from being married.
When I was dating my husband I was so sure I was ready for marriage. I wanted to be married to him and wanted to always be with him. However, it was a big shock when I got married. It wasn't that I wasn't prepared for marriage, but marriage is not a black and white subject. Ever marriage is vastly different. Different backgrounds, different communication skills, different lives, different temperaments. So you can take advice from other people and their marriages all you want, but yours will not work like theirs because they are not the same. I think it is not a matter of being prepared because you can't prepare for something you don't know what is going to happen, but you can push through it and work together as you go.
Gender- Defining, But Not Limiting.
This post might get a little "rant-y" just to warn you.
These days gender roles are something that really aren't embraced. The roles of gender are always being challenged and tested. It can be a very touchy subject because there are very strong opinions on the subject. However, it is something that should be viewed from all angles.
I come from a pretty traditional family. I am the middle child with two brothers. However, my older brother is technically my half-brother, biologically, but he is fully adopted into our family. So it's pretty basic. I come from a family that believes in basic gender roles, but we also believe that we are all equal. There is no denying that women are more motherly and men are more tough and less sensitive. Now, that doesn't mean a woman can;t be tough or a man can't be sensitive. However, that is usually how men and women are. Now, I believe in gender roles, I find it is really hard these days to tell people that I wan't to be a stay at home mom because that is odd now-a-days. However, it is said that women should be able to do what they want, but when someone says they want to do something the 'typical' women should want to do like stay at home mom or something like that it is all of the sudden bad. It's like we shouldn't want to do those 'typical' things and if you do you are a submissive woman and you need to stand up for yourself. I do not agree with that. If you believe that women should be able to do everything men can do and should have all the same experiences that should go in every direction. A women should not be looked down upon in society for wanting to be a mom just as she shouldn't be looked down upon if she wants to be in the military or be a cop or anything like that. It has to go in all directions. Gender can be defining,but shouldn't be limiting.
These days gender roles are something that really aren't embraced. The roles of gender are always being challenged and tested. It can be a very touchy subject because there are very strong opinions on the subject. However, it is something that should be viewed from all angles.
I come from a pretty traditional family. I am the middle child with two brothers. However, my older brother is technically my half-brother, biologically, but he is fully adopted into our family. So it's pretty basic. I come from a family that believes in basic gender roles, but we also believe that we are all equal. There is no denying that women are more motherly and men are more tough and less sensitive. Now, that doesn't mean a woman can;t be tough or a man can't be sensitive. However, that is usually how men and women are. Now, I believe in gender roles, I find it is really hard these days to tell people that I wan't to be a stay at home mom because that is odd now-a-days. However, it is said that women should be able to do what they want, but when someone says they want to do something the 'typical' women should want to do like stay at home mom or something like that it is all of the sudden bad. It's like we shouldn't want to do those 'typical' things and if you do you are a submissive woman and you need to stand up for yourself. I do not agree with that. If you believe that women should be able to do everything men can do and should have all the same experiences that should go in every direction. A women should not be looked down upon in society for wanting to be a mom just as she shouldn't be looked down upon if she wants to be in the military or be a cop or anything like that. It has to go in all directions. Gender can be defining,but shouldn't be limiting.
Thursday, October 8, 2015
Culture
What is culture anyways?
I feel like our culture is fueled by our traditions. In every culture there are different traditions and beliefs.
Now, every culture is different and within a culture there are many different subcultures. You can generalize a culture by race, religion, and place of living. However, within those very broad cultures there will be more cultures. Then inside those cultures there are more and inside those there are more and so on.
Now, thinking about family culture, what is your family culture and where did it come from? Do you have traditions from your parents? Your grandparents? your spouses parents? that means you are a mesh of a whole bunch of different cultures. However, the beauty of having your own family is that you get to decide what your culture will be like. You can decide to uphold certain traditions and not others. You get to decide your culture that you will pass on to other generations and that is amazing. The way you decide to run your home and incorporate your culture into your family life will greatly influence how that culture continues for quite a few generations.
Be proud of your culture. Be proud of your traditions. And be the person you want to be.
I feel like our culture is fueled by our traditions. In every culture there are different traditions and beliefs.
Now, every culture is different and within a culture there are many different subcultures. You can generalize a culture by race, religion, and place of living. However, within those very broad cultures there will be more cultures. Then inside those cultures there are more and inside those there are more and so on.
Now, thinking about family culture, what is your family culture and where did it come from? Do you have traditions from your parents? Your grandparents? your spouses parents? that means you are a mesh of a whole bunch of different cultures. However, the beauty of having your own family is that you get to decide what your culture will be like. You can decide to uphold certain traditions and not others. You get to decide your culture that you will pass on to other generations and that is amazing. The way you decide to run your home and incorporate your culture into your family life will greatly influence how that culture continues for quite a few generations.
Be proud of your culture. Be proud of your traditions. And be the person you want to be.
Thursday, September 24, 2015
Population, Brith Rate, adn Fertility Rate
What a crazy topic.
I never thought this would impact me very much. Between 1946 and 1964 is when the baby boom was a very big topic. I always thought that the baby boom had to do with families having lots of children, but in reality it's not just about family having children, but about a lot more people living into adulthood and people living longer.
On this subject, the fertility replacement rate is 2.13. That means that each family needs to have 2.13 children to keep the worlds population from decreasing. So that bring up the question: How many children do I need to have? and Does my decision of how many children I have effect other people?
I don't know the answer to that, but I have some thoughts on it.
Children are such a gift and people get lost in the fact that they want to be 100% financially stable to have children. That probably wont ever happen. There are always going to be IF's, AND's or BUT's that will deter you from having children. There are always things to think about when you want to decide when to have children and how many to have, but limiting yourself by your fears of finances is something that we need to get passed.
Having children is one of the greatest experiences that anyone will ever have in their lifetime. I don't have children myself as of yet, but I know that when I do I will find a new level of love that I have not experienced before.
If you are debating when to have children and how many you have, I challenge you to make a pro's and con's list. Then look at your con's and just decide if those are con's that would really be problem of if you could get past it. Whether it be finances, or less sleep, or worried it will effect your marriage. Look at it from a different perspective. For fiances, cut back on a few luxuries. Sleep, have a schedule and keep to it. Effecting your marriage, have faith in your marriage and have a talk with your spouse and create a plan.
Children will never come at the perfect time because the perfect time rarely exists. Don't be selfish. Think of those children waiting to meet yo and waiting to be loved by you.
Ultimately, it's your decision. Just remember not to be selfish.
I never thought this would impact me very much. Between 1946 and 1964 is when the baby boom was a very big topic. I always thought that the baby boom had to do with families having lots of children, but in reality it's not just about family having children, but about a lot more people living into adulthood and people living longer.
On this subject, the fertility replacement rate is 2.13. That means that each family needs to have 2.13 children to keep the worlds population from decreasing. So that bring up the question: How many children do I need to have? and Does my decision of how many children I have effect other people?
I don't know the answer to that, but I have some thoughts on it.
Children are such a gift and people get lost in the fact that they want to be 100% financially stable to have children. That probably wont ever happen. There are always going to be IF's, AND's or BUT's that will deter you from having children. There are always things to think about when you want to decide when to have children and how many to have, but limiting yourself by your fears of finances is something that we need to get passed.
Having children is one of the greatest experiences that anyone will ever have in their lifetime. I don't have children myself as of yet, but I know that when I do I will find a new level of love that I have not experienced before.
If you are debating when to have children and how many you have, I challenge you to make a pro's and con's list. Then look at your con's and just decide if those are con's that would really be problem of if you could get past it. Whether it be finances, or less sleep, or worried it will effect your marriage. Look at it from a different perspective. For fiances, cut back on a few luxuries. Sleep, have a schedule and keep to it. Effecting your marriage, have faith in your marriage and have a talk with your spouse and create a plan.
Children will never come at the perfect time because the perfect time rarely exists. Don't be selfish. Think of those children waiting to meet yo and waiting to be loved by you.
Ultimately, it's your decision. Just remember not to be selfish.
Tuesday, September 15, 2015
Introduction
Hello! I am Emma Bruning! I am married to Nicolas Dorsett. As you may have noticed that we have different last names.. thats because changing your name is a little more complicated than I had initially thought so for now, I am still Emma Bruning! One of these days I will get around to officially becoming a Dorsett! I am from Northern Virginia and I loved it there, but I am so glad to be out west! I was born in Lehi, UT and lived there for about 8 years and I did the majority of my growing up in the suburbs of Virginia. It is much different out there than Rexburg. Idaho. Here I can walk around at night and lot be as worried. I don't have to walk around every corner ready to run the other way if I see something sketchy to save by booty. So that's nice. I love pretty much anything and everything! Except when it comes to food.. I am so picky about trying new foods and I really don't like bold flavors. But anything else, I am on board. I love everything. I love photography (in fact I am starting up a buisiness I will link my website here), cooking, decorating, make-up, video games (more specifically Bioshock, Minecraft, Harvest Moon, Left 4 Dead, etc.), writing, superheros, action movies, Disney, DC comics, cleaning (yes, cleaning), guitar, song writing, singing, photoshop, and blogging!
I feel like I am kind of strange person, but I love it! I have learned to love everything about me. I used to be a very insecure person, but I have gotten over that since getting out of high school a few years ago. My motto has become: "How can you love someone with all of you when you can't even love yourself?"
That's about it! This post will also be found in the 'About Me' tab above!
I feel like I am kind of strange person, but I love it! I have learned to love everything about me. I used to be a very insecure person, but I have gotten over that since getting out of high school a few years ago. My motto has become: "How can you love someone with all of you when you can't even love yourself?"
That's about it! This post will also be found in the 'About Me' tab above!
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