I apologise for everything. For my own tactlessness, my own insensitivity and my own bluntness. I shoot myself in the arse everytime something comes out my mouth and that is one of the countless vices that I hate about myself. I am my own pet peeve as you can say. I hope that you can find it in your heart to forgive me. Cause it's killing me.

One of the best movies I have ever seen throughout my 18 years of life. The song is just superb. I want to watch it again. This time, in 3D. Any takers?

Divorce. A judicial declaration dissolving a marriage in whole or in part, esp. one that releases the husband and wife from all matrimonial obligations. That is the definition of it. A simple explanation of a startling issue that rocks the very foundation of society. A divorce is like a stone thrown in a river. It hits the water surface and causes a ripple. So the parents get separated, but the effect of the divorce spreads over a larger surface. Children, external family, friends and all others who are closely linked to the couple get affected greatly by the divorce. After the initial shock, people react. This is the interesting part of the whole process. Different people react differently to the whole situation. Some people use alcohol, others smoke. Others would just suck this all inside them so in order not to show it to other people. I guess putting on a mask and smiling is much more easier than actually confronting the actual problem. By just pretending that there is nothing wrong can be a simple task. I guess that was what I was doing. The irony is that my name supposedly mean 'the best in face of challenges' but the things that I've done just contradicted the whole meaning of me. I've been running around in circles; avoiding the actual issue at hand. I guess that I don't really want to accept that it is really happening but when the letter came in, I had to accept that this is really happening to my family. The once perfect family that I thought I always had. We have never been affluent but I thought that our family bond was priceless. My parents have always been a beacon of hope for me. They were the ones who instilled vaules like filial piety, forgiveness and respect. They always taught us to forgive each other. But in this situation, why can't they practice what they preach? It makes me wonder the hypocrisy of values as a principle.

The thing is that I am not angry at the decision of divorce anymore. I'm more mad at the fact that my parents have always said that they would do anything for the children. So the only thing that we now ask for is that they would still be together. But no. We cannot get that. My dad asked me what I wanted for my birthday this year. I was at the door, about to go out. I turned to him slowly and said, "Dad, what I want is the thing that money can't buy and you can't give it to me.". I walked out after that. It hurts me so much that this has been dragging on for almost 2 years now and it is still going to drag on. I cannot afford to miss lessons during my A level year just to go up and down court. I would not do it. It seems selfish on my part to be doing that but I must be selfish for my own benefit.

I need to let go of all the things that has happened to me over the past year and a half. I want to get rid of the memories of it all. I feel like cutting my hair.

Bald

Birthdays. A special day to commemorate the birth of someone to this world. To a child, birthdays mean presents and a cake and perhaps a party. Everyone smiling and taking photos to capture the memories of that special day. To teenagers however, birthdays mean getting drunk or going out to a club and partying the night away. To an adult however, birthdays usually mean the maturity of age and the taking on of more responsibilities; probably planning on starting a family or getting a car. To different people of the different age groups, birthdays mean a certain significant thing in their life.

To me, birthday means family. I had always celebrated my birthday with a typical dinner at home. A cake isn't always present. I guess I never had the liking for material gifts. Their presence with me on my special day means the world to me. But for the past 2 years, things changed. No more dinner, no more smiles and no more presence. The perfect family was gone. But when all seemed lost, I found another type of family. One which consisted of many many people. People from all walks of life, from different races and religion. But they share one thing; our friendship. And with them, my special day is now going to be etched in my memory. If I were to name the people, it would probably not be done by tomorrow morning. You know who you are. So I thank you for being a part of my family. A part of my life and a part of my life. You don't have to get me anything because your presence is already a present to me.

2 hours and 10 minutes more and I'm an adult.

"Wheel Of The World"

Love goes out, out like a light
Out like a flame, and you can't find it anymore
Just when you think it's lost in the rain
It comes back knocking at your door

It's the wheel of the world turning around
It's the wheel of the world turning around
And around

God put us here on this carnival ride
We close our eyes
Never knowing where it will take us next
Babies are born and at the same time, someone's taking their last breath

It's the wheel of the world
It's the wheel of the world turning around

In the blink of an eye
It can change your life
And it never even slows down

It's the wheel of the world

I don't know what it is
I'm flying high
Then I'm wondering why I'm sinking on this ship, going down
Life keeps on moving anyway

It's the wheel of the world
It's the wheel of the world turning around
It's the wheel of the world
It's the wheel of the world turning around
It's the wheel of the world turning around
And around
And around
It's the wheel of the world turning around

It can open your heart
It can break you apart
And it never even slows down

It's the wheel of the world turning around
It's the wheel of the world turning around
It's the wheel of the world turning around
It's the wheel of the world turning around
And around

You suck, period.

This class has been the one thing that kept me sane in the horrendous Junior College education system. I appreciate you guys and all that you have done. I can never ask for a better class cause seriously, you can never find awesome people like them. 09A302 ftw :)

Today marks the end of Tampines 1's Tuesday one-for-one deal at Frolicks. The crowd was just horrendous there. Everyone was being typical Singaporean by only purchasing a cup of frozen youghurt when there is an offer. I admit that I do enjoy the perk of getting a free cup with every cup purchased but why couldn't people support this business on normal days. I went there yesterday and it was like a ghost town. Today, you could have seen the queue from the moon. But in the current state of the economy, I guess that it is understandable for people to only buy this during an offer. I mean, who could ever resist a cup of sweet, cold, milky, lychee-flavoured frozen youghurt with fruity pebbles as toppings.

Damn, I want another cup badly even though I had two cups to myself just now. I wonder if Tampines 1 is still open. Hehehe.

What would I give if I could be in this position. Being truly happy with just the simple things in life. People underestimate the simplistic nature of a baby. They forget that the simple things in life that a baby undergo are the things that make one truly happy. A bite on the head or a pull of the shoe. I would give so much if I could be in that position.

A new beginning for me. I feel that the time has come to change and I just guess that I need the change in my life. Cause it is time for me to move on from this and by god I will move on.