Deja-Vu

So when I left work today, I realized I was walking the exact same route back to Merchandise Mart that I always take, and the woman in front of me was the very same woman whom I had followed that morning. It was really strange - kind of like an extreme case of deja-vu, except reality.

Against Better Judgement

I think at some point in our lives, we all make decisions that we know at the time are not the right ones. This begs the question: Why?

I think that greatly depends upon the situation. Financial decisions that we know are bad tend to be spontaneous impulse spending and often result in buyer's remorse (read: my friend who recently purchased an exquisitely gigantic DLP television, loves it, but is having serious second thoughts).

Flaking out on plans is another one that you know is a bad decision before you even decide to do it. You always have to come up with a really good excuse - and then you inevitably feel like a jerk anyway. What were you doing that was so great you had to flake out on a group of friends for dinner plans? Probably nothing - because if you had a legitimate excuse, you wouldn't feel bad about it.

Eating fast food is one decision that should never be made - yet millions of people make that choice daily (I, too have been guilty of this choice once or twice). Why? If you are literate and don't live under a rock, you know that with each bite of your Baconator you are damaging your body and taking a couple seconds off your life - especially if you're not planning on going to the gym later. For shame!

The one that really gets me, however, is making the conscious decision to cheat on your significant other. You KNOW that is not a good idea - but somehow many people are able to reason it out in their heads as to why it's okay. I get that people have different views on the topic, and I totally respect that. It's entirely possible that physical monogamy is not natural for humans. If you've been in a relationship for a long time and you just need to sleep with someone else, fine. Go have a one-night-stand at a bar and never think or speak of it again. But what about starting another whole relationship on the side?

Before starting this type of situation, you have to know that, inevitably, someone is going to get hurt. It might be your significant other, or it might be the other person, but you're pretty sure it's not going to be you. If all goes to plan, everything will be fine for everyone - but let me tell you, if you're screwing around, your behavior probably changes without you even realizing it. Just because you don't realize the difference doesn't mean someone else won't. There's a good chance - particularly if you're living with your honey - that he or she is going to notice that something's afoot. I don't want to change anyone's lifestyle or ideals - believe me, I know the whole wife-and-mistress routine can work for some for a lifetime - but before you start something like that, it would be a good idea to know your plan of action just in case the proverbial shit ever does hit the fan.

So why do people make these decisions that they know are against their better judgment even before the decision is made? Human nature and curiosity should answer that question. It can't be helped - I think it's fascinating, and I hope people never change.

Oh, October

October is a fantastic month. The colors of fall abound; you get to dress up like a total jackass or complete skank at least once during the month, and no one else thinks a thing of it – in fact the most common responses are compliments; it’s college football season; the weather is [usually] gorgeous; caramel apples and pumpkins are readily available at any grocery store; and it’s the beginning of chili season.

My love for October professed, I must now say I do not understand why, in the city of Chicago, cold weather strikes immediately upon the calendar turning to the 10^th month. Now, when I say cold, I don’t mean winter cold – it’s not -4 degrees with a wind chill of -14 or anything like that – but when I left my apartment this morning, it was 44 degrees, which is definitely chilly enough to warrant a coat. I obliged and pulled out my fall coat for its season debut; however I was not willing to completely concede to the cold weather. So in my coat and flip flops, I walked with extremely chilled toes to the train station and stood on the windy platform awaiting my ride.

Reality of the climate set in when I got off the train and started walking to the office in the even windier Loop. I had flashbacks to the oh-so-recent seven-month winter this great city endured last year, and it made me quite depressed. I know you other Chicagoans can commiserate that you are NOT ready to deal with that crap again. Ugh. Hopefully we’ll have a warm-up in the temp later this month before we are forced to deal with another seven months of living in ‘The Polar Opposite of Hell,’ but that could be wishful thinking.

I watched ‘The Biggest Loser’ for the first time last night. It’s the family edition. I can see why it’s such an inspiring show – good for them!! What I don’t understand is: If everyone in this country who watches it is so inspired, why are we [as a nation] still covered in thick layers of cellulite? I’m not saying I’m not partially to blame in this equation, but seriously people. Let’s get it together.

After ‘The Biggest Loser,’ a new episode of ‘Law & Order: SVU’ came on. In college, I watched that show all the time – I couldn’t get enough. Looking back on that now is horrifying. The episode last night was about a 17-year-old kid who had a crush on (and had abused) his five-year-old step brother. SICK. Who wants to watch that stuff? I ended up turning the episode off halfway through, after the 17-year-old’s mother killed him and was crouched on the floor sobbing and cradling his dead, bloodied body. Nothing about watching that situation unfold on a TV drama improves the quality of life for anyone.

For those of you who aren’t familiar, John Kass is a daily columnist for the Chicago Tribune. A friend of mine and I are constantly joking about how ridiculously idiotic and absurd this man’s columns are, and today’s is no exception. This one is a true gem: http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/columnists/chi-kass-01-oct01,0,5966158.column.

First of all, have I been living under a rock? Apparently, spider-goats have been around for eight years. Eight! This is the first I’ve heard of them. Have you all been out there with the knowledge of these goats, and just failed to mention it to me? Thanks a lot, guys – much appreciated. Second, while that chicken does look rather unappetizing, it seems like it could potentially save a lot of chicken-slaughter labor costs (are all my squeamish, border-line-vegetarian friends freaking out right now? Sorry!). I don’t really like thinking about my food’s state of being prior to its state of being on my plate – but realistically, pre-plucked and crazy-looking super chickens are probably a gold mine. If the picture didn’t come up in Kass’s article, see it here: http://www.nextnature.net/?p=668.

Could be worse...

I always wonder how many people walking around the Loop during lunch time are dreading going back up to their corner offices or tiny, bulletin-board walled cubicles. When I think about the percentage of people who are dreading it, I always also wonder deeper, into why they might be dreading their afternoons at work.

You totally screwed something up at work, and you just know your boss will have found you out by the time you get back from lunch?

You have a meeting for which you are nowhere near prepared?

You're afraid you might really get fired because you know you've been slacking off and fear all the wrong people have noticed?

You're having an affair with one of your co-workers and you're ashamed to be in his or her presence?

You know your superior is going to ask you for something you haven't done yet, even though it was due yesterday?

While all of these reasons are potentially quite valid, what I always neglect to realize the actual reason for many peoples' dreading of the office: "I hate my job. Plain and simple, I am miserable in my environment and I don't feel challenged enough by what I do. There may not be anything specific about it, I may meet all my deadlines and complete all my projects, but there is still something about it that causes this sense of fear and dread to rise up from the pit of my stomach and make me feel terrible about returning to the office after lunch."

Now for a lucky few, you're probably thinking, "Actually, my job is alright. That was just the Chipotle burrito I [shouldn't have] had for lunch. Damn it."

But for most of you, you always have that feeling that you could just be a little bit more satisfied. There's something that would leave you feeling more fulfilled, whole and purposeful - but you're working so hard not to lose the gig you have, you can't find the time to search for something new.

Many of my friends are in that situation - however today I met a guy who is in a different type of situation. His dread involves the all-too-common OR.

Nate. I saw him walking down the street today at lunch. He's a financial analyst in his late twenties. He's tall with blond hair and a chubby figure. He's wearing navy blue slacks, light brown/tan shoes and a neatly pressed white shirt. He looked good - but there was something very miffed looking about him. It was that stare in his eyes that said, "I'm thinking about something that makes me uncomfortable, but I can't talk about it, so I'm just going to stay unhappy until I get to go home at 5:00."

For some reason, Nate made me more curious than normal to know what was irking him so. As a result, I chose a table right next to his after I followed him all the way to Panera, stood in line behind him and ordered the exact opposite of what he did, as to not appear suspicious - good thinking, because I'm definitely not already creepy enough.

After sitting at the table next to his for about five minutes, I decided to say something. Lamest icebreaker ever - I noticed his pop was almost empty so I said, "Hey, I see your pop is almost empty. I'm going to fill mine up, want me to get you some more?"

As any normal human being would when approached at random by a total stranger, he refused my offer with a confused look and went back to doing his crossword. Surprisingly, however, when I returned from my pop run, he struck up a conversation. He asked me what kind of pop I was drinking that made me so friendly. "Just Diet Coke," got the response, "Oh, me too. I guess it doesn't have the same effects on everyone."

Officially, one of the lamest conversations of which I've ever been a part. Eventually we started talking about work - and by eventually I mean immediately, since we each only had one hour for lunch anyway. I told Nate he seemed really on edge, like there was impending doom awaiting him upon his return to the office or something - so he told me why, and it was in fact because doom was awaiting him.

Nate had been at his job for about 18 months when his current boss came to the company. She's about 10 years older than he, no kids, never married - simply a workaholic. Almost instantly the two of them hit it off and started having drinks together after work about once a week. After a couple months of once-a-week drinks, the drinks turned into dinner, dinner turned into, "You wanna come upstairs?", which turned into more drinks, which turned into making out, and so on. This was about six months ago.

Due to a rather strict company policy, Nate and his boss kept their OR (office relationship) under wraps, and still do. However, about a month ago, a new girl who is a couple years younger than Nate started in the marketing department. Since he noticed her, he's been coming up with any excuse possible to go over to the marketing department - and she is definitely hooked on him. They make out in the stairwell, they grope each other in the elevator - they're totally into each other. But Nate still has this relationship with his boss.

This morning, the new marketing girl was at his boss's desk talking and laughing with her when Nate arrived. Both of the women smiled and waved at him - neither one noticing that the other was doing the same. Nate smiled and sat down - wondering to himself what it is that he missed in this equation.

As the morning wore on, both boss and marketing girl were loading his inbox with inappropriate emails - typical behavior for a Monday - one yearning for the time spent with him during the weekend past, the other starving from a weekend without contact.

Each one wanted to have him for lunch that day, each one wanted to talk to him after work. But as the lunch hour approached, his boss actually said she couldn't take him out to lunch as she normally did, because she was finally going to have lunch with her young cousin who just started with the company - in the marketing department.

After that, coupled with the morning pow-wow, it didn't take Nate long to put together who the cousin was. Oops. That was about 30 minutes before I saw him looking forlorn on the street and followed him to Panera.

I don't know what's going to become of Nate or his lovers - but I do know this: After hearing Nate's story, I started to feel much better about my own situation. It really put things into perspective for me. No matter how bad things are in your own life, chances are there's someone out there who has it worse. I may be stressed out about a deadline, but at least I don't have to worry about my job and my love life failing as a result of one another.

The Resurgence.

Though I am no stranger to blogs or blogging, quite some time has passed since I regularly read and wrote blogs. Well I have news for you, friend. I’m back. I have a new format, and since I cannot access any of my old blogs because they were created with a university email account to which I no longer have access, I have provided links for you, should you choose to click and relive some of the glory days – which primarily took place in La France.

Over the past several weeks and months, it has occurred to me many-a-time that there are things in my life daily about which I could easily blog – and I like to think these are the same things others will too find interesting – or at least entertaining to some degree.

For example, about two weeks ago I was on my way to work in the morning, and I was lucky enough to get a seat on the train. It was an aisle-facing seat, so naturally there were standing passengers directly in front of me. For anyone who is unfamiliar with the eye-level of a seated “EL” passenger, it is approximately at the belt-level of those standing. On that particular day, the man standing right in front of me and facing me was wearing charcoal gray trousers and a black leather belt with a silver buckle. What was different about him is that he had clearly forgotten to check his zipper before stepping out his door that morning.

I’m sure everyone has been in a situation and noticed something unfortunate about a stranger (spinach in teeth, zipper down, food on chin, bird crap in hair, etc.). Now the question is: To tell or not to tell? If I had any sort of unfortunate situation going on, I would most definitely want to be told about it – regardless of whom was doing the telling; however when I am the one telling someone else, the decision of whether to tell or not becomes less clear.

In the past, I have made both decisions – to tell and not to tell – and my conclusion is it’s an incredibly situational decision. A girl at a bar watching a football game with a large group of men – wearing simply jeans and a hooded sweatshirt, nothing fancy. She was the only girl among them, and I noticed that her sparkly purple thong was hanging out of her probably-too-low-cut-to-be-worn-by-anyone-over-21 jeans, and I decided on a girl-to-girl basis that it was only right to let her know – clearly it was not hanging out on purpose. She expressed great gratitude, because you know none of those meathead guys were going to mention it, and I went back to my table having accomplished my good deed for the day.

Conversely, a businessman commuting to work in the morning who is standing on the train directly in front of a fellow commuter. The seated commuter happens to notice the businessman’s fly is down – but it’s a quick trip downtown, he’ll be in the office and soon enough he will notice that he might have a problem should anything… arise. This one is best left alone – and so that day on the train I opted to keep my mouth shut and let the fly work itself out. Wouldn’t you have done the same?