My Sophie Lynn! She is now 7 months old here in this photo. I can never get enough of watching her sleep...Can you see why? She is sooo beautiful. I am so thankful for her...I feel she was put in my life this year...for a real reason. To help me have and find the strength to figure out who I truly am. As an individual. Ashley. There is nothing like the bond between a mother and daughter. She is my best friends even apart from all three of my precious boys...because we are female and we share a bond. But the boys are still my best friends as well...don't get me wrong. We just share a different bond.

Sometimes I miss having nooo responsibilities. Childhood. Innocence....No worries i the world. lol I remember when I could just sleep when ever with out having to put at least 3 others down before myself. I wouldn't take back my life now though. I just sometimes remember what its like to have those old times... :)

I know this photo is a little blurry but I LOVE it. It captured such a fun day and memory with my boys! Playing tag on the 4th of July...2008. I felt like I was their age out on the field in Murray park while they chased me and all three of us were laughing sooo hard. My kids are my best friends. It amazes me that even though Jaden is almost four and Ethan almost three that they comfort me, make me laugh...and even make me mad lol. All with in 1 hour of each other. But most of all I have never felt so loved then on the day I had each of my kids.
I can't wait to share these moments of playing games the old fashioned way with Sophie too. I think its a sad shame that America today is sooo into all their technology that they are really missing out on the things they did when they were growing 20 years ago.

I miss Jaden.

I miss Jaden. He has been gone for two days now...he is up in SLC with my mom and Josh's mom visiting. He will be back this Thurs. though. Lol at night when I talk to him its so nice to know that he is happy and having a blast. He is getting so big I can't believe he is almost 4 this Oct. time really does fly and you shouldn't take it for granite. Sadly of Lot of ppl do...I use to.
I am an emotional case lately...ever since I have realized where I am at in my life. How lucky I am to be sooo blessed. Its crazy...sometimes I don't feel I have already come this far in my life...only at age 21. Most girls my age are out having sex with guys from the bar and dating them for only 3 months and then going after the next guy because that guy didn't last. Its sad.
One of the best things in life is to watch you babies...family grow. Grow together even. I love that I get to grow up with my kids. my childhood ended at an early age I feel and its a fascinating experience to live with them in theirs...not through them though.
Another part of my being emotional though...is I Have realized that my feelings towards my friends are true. I have only heard from Emily and Sindra...and Cami once since i came back. The last couple times I have seen my friends we talk less and less each time. I shouldn't even call them friends anymore though...maybe just acquainted people I visit with on occasion?
I wonder if any of them have even noticed or feel the same way as I do? I probably wont find out either. I am still debating about giving them my blog address. I want emmy and sindra to have it though...and some of my family. I think I am going to stop doing myspace. It brings me down. But I will keep it just for the photos for my parents....Maybe. I am still trying to figure out how to add photos on here with each blog. I will have to play when I am done writing. To me in away I enjoy how this feels like my journal in a way. Its nice to get on and vent at night when the whole place is asleep...I get my time :).

Well I am going to go and Finish Go Ask Alice. Its a pretty good little fast read. Check it out sometime.

Sincerely,

Ashley Renee'....Good night.