The Mini Van Soap Box

An alternate title for this post was going to be: Seriously? NO! SERIOUSLY?!?!

And not just because I watch a lot of Grey's Anatomy but because SERIOUSLY!?!

I'm sure some of you remember that it wasn't long ago that we were giving swimming lessons in the basement of the house because the pressure release valve blew.  Nothing we could have done about it.  The house apparently seems to be at an age where it's bones are staring to creak and break and there's only so much of a preemptive strike you can do.

Not much to do but suck it up and pay the plumber.

We've been in discussion for a while about the possibility of a pet.  Our daughter is at an age where she's old enough to appreciate and also possibly be a tad bit responsible enough to have one.  Not to mention, I think it's important for children to grow up with a pet.  You ever talked to someone as an adult that said "I never had a pet when I was a kid"...and for some reason people instantly feel sorry for them?  Like what they were really saying was that their parents locked them in the closet, fed them liver and never let them watch The Great Space Coaster.  Yea.  It's like that.  If you don't get a pet as a kid - you grow up to be THAT guy.

Here's the problem.  I'm a dog person.  My daughter is a cat person. And my husband doesn't give a shit - as long as he doesn't have to DEAL with the shit.

So, after a heated discussion (that took all of 10 minutes) we decided to get a cat.  Here's the rub:

I'm allergic to cats.

I know. I know.  Get an iguana.  I've heard it before.  Not very cuddly.

The truth is, I was raised with cats.  I mean....we think she was a cat.  Mom says she was...but I'm pretty sure she was part Doberman and part Puma.  That cat hated everyone but Mom.  She would sit at the bottom of the stairs and wait for me to head upstairs and then attack my ankles.  Still have the scars to prove it, y'all.

So, it's all about WHICH cat and what are the rules.  Long hair cats are automatically out.  There are, apparently, some cats that just shed less - and have a "different" dander then some.  So, the search for the perfect kitty was on.  Hundreds of internet sites are bookmarked....Tons of emails have been sent out.

And then the water supply line into the house blew.

Plumbers are coming tomorrow to charge me $3400 to rip up my front yard and put new pipe in.

The kitty dream is dead.  Thank God we didn't mention any of this to our daughter or else she would grow up to be THAT girl.  The parents who dangled a cute little kitty in front of her and then ripped it away for a plumbing job.

This last week has mostly been a blur.  I had days that I went to work.  I had days that I went and worked on the deck again.  And days of trying to pick up the slack on everything that wasn't getting done because I was going to work and/or working on a deck.

I suppose the main reason why it's been a blur is because it's 200 DEGREES outside.  If I have to hear my mother say one more time "drink some water" or "jump in the pool to cool off"...well, I'll just...probably drink some more water or jump in the pool to cool off.  Because it's too hot to argue with her.

We are getting much closer to the half way point on this deck - so we are starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel.  However, by the time we're done we are all going to be so sick of hanging out with each other that I'm not going to be able to enjoy it.  Not to mention I think they might still be pissed that I screamed bloody murder when he was about to chop through a power line.  Which turned out to be an orange colored tree vine.  Honest mistake...but everyone had to change their shorts after that.

I did, however, find time to make a gift basket for my best friend.  She's recently married and they bought themselves a farm house out in the boonies.  They are going to fix it up and mow the back 40 and milk cows...or something.  All I know is that a new china place setting wasn't the appropriate gift for someone who's ripping down dry wall and re-plastering walls.

Everything I put in the basket is below.  Emergency items for home rebuilding.

A few months ago my husband and I started the process of getting new Life Insurance policies.  The ones we currently have are fine, I guess, but after talking about it for a while we realized that should anything every happen to him - my daughter and I would have to move in with my Mom.  I already used the one "move back" that she gave all of us kids back in my 20's. So, that wouldn't be an option.  Not to mention they are always renovating rooms and decks in that house - and I don't want to have to work that hard.

So, we looked into other options and found a better policy for about the same price as what we are paying now.  Problem with new life insurance policies is there is a boat load of paperwork to fill out.  And mess up.  And then fill out correctly.  Plus, there is that whole nurse coming to your house and taking your blood and pee and stuff. It's a very bizarre feeling sitting at your own kitchen table and having a stranger stick needles in your arm...The whole while talking about how much she loves the show True Blood.  Totally not kidding.

I mentioned to my Mom a couple of weeks ago that I would be late to work one day because said Nurse was coming in the morning, and how much it was going to suck because you have to fast. The only thing I'm allowed to have is either water or black coffee for the 10 hours leading up to her arrival.  She told me that many years ago she had to go through the same thing, however HER appointment was at 4:00 in the afternoon. At least mine was in the morning - so technically most of my fasting was while I was sleeping.  She had to spend her entire day at home - with nothing but water.  Turns out that the weird guy that came to get her pee actually made a COMMENT about how clear it was...."My Word! You are very hydrated aren't you!"

Fast forward to my appointment.  I spent the better portion of the morning drinking water - mostly because I ALWAYS have a drink in front of me.  Weird True Blood Nurse shows up and gives me my little cup.  I fill it up to the little black line, wash my hands, and give her my sample.  When I handed it back to her, I actually said, OUT LOUD - "Hey Look! Mine looks just like Mom's!"

Do you have any idea how hard it is to explain to someone that you don't actually spend a lot of time comparing urine sample's with your Mother?

There is nothing better than a bunch of good Christian women getting together to feed the masses. At my church, we'll eat for a slew of reasons.  Someone died, someone was born, someone is leaving or joining. We make food when folks are sick and when they get better.  I've been a member of this church for as long as I can remember and one thing is for sure....Those women can cook.

I've gotten to an age now that it's only right that I start doing my share - truth be told - that time past a while ago.  So, this last weekend I pulled my weight.

I took a couple recipes from my new favorite cookbook, The Pioneer Woman Cooks - and also nabbed a casserole recipe from my Mama.  Three dishes in total and just pray that one turns out okay.  Last thing you want to do is bring crappy food to a Sunday Potluck. And trust me, you'll know if it's crappy....It'll be the casserole dish left with only one scoop out. Then you have to make the walk of shame to the big garbage can and dump the leftovers out.

Here's the casserole I took from Mama..It turned out pretty well and pretty easy to make.  (full recipe at the bottom)

Here's what you'll need

It's been an interesting couple weeks here on the home front.  School officially ended - and summer camp officially started.  To her, it's a big freakin' deal. To me - it just means I don't have homework duty and don't have to worry about school uniforms.  Other than that, it's the same routine, same school, same kids and same weekly bill.

Oh, we also bought a shed. That was the other interesting part - but I'm sure y'all don't give a crap about my new shed.

So, we've decided to transition to public school in the Fall and there's all this paperwork I have to fill out.  Apparently the lady that takes the paperwork is taking the whole month of July off so I had to get it done quickly. Doctors notes, original birth certificate and the original Deed for the house.  Yea.  I have no freakin' idea where that is.  So in it's place I took our mortgage bill, a water bill and a electric bill - all of them show our address & phone number. I assumed it would be enough.

I was wrong.  Apparently she has a "check list" that she goes through for registration and it clearly says ON THE CHECKLIST, "Deed".  Therefore I have to have the deed.  Think about it, y'all! She breaks the rule for one parent and the next thing you know the whole public school system is down the tubes! Parents signing their children up for school with magazine subscriptions - junk mail - and all those other things that read "Resident" in your mailbox.

I also managed to piss her off.  WITHOUT EVEN TRYING.  I was raised to say Ma'am and Sir. So, every time she asked me a question I would say "Yes Ma'am".  It wasn't until the whole meeting was over that she turned to me and said "By the way, My name is Sally - Not Ma'am".  Well shit. I'm making a GREAT first impression. My kid is going to get the teacher that picks his nose or won't actually memorize her name until the school year is almost over.

And lastly, since I figured I had already stuck my foot in my mouth, I mentioned that I'm very nervous about the bus.  "What are the procedures? Does she get help finding her classroom? Is there a buddy system or something? I'm just nervous she'll get lost or get on the wrong bus."

"Well, I certainly can't say we've never lost a child.  But they always turn up"

This is why I drink.