The Mini Van Soap Box

For the last few years my husband has had to travel quite a bit around the holidays. Turning into a bit of a tradition to tell you the truth. This year is no different - and my husband has spent the better portion of November not at home. You get used to it after a while - and as long as the time away isn't all packed together, my daughter, for lack of a better term, accepts the absence.

With my husband out of the house - all things are, of course, left up to me. Pick up and drop off, laundry, dishes, meals, shopping - and as she always does when he is gone - the emergency trip to the doctor. This last time was no different. Seems she's come down with (and I quote the doctor) an "adult sized - full fledged sinus infection" (hence my absence here).

Anyway....years ago, when she was just a baby, I didn't handle the traveling very well. A new time mother and scared of every sound she made, I was always convinced that something was going to happen to her - or worse, something was going to happen to me.

I've gotten over that....a bit. I keep it together during the awake hours, but once I crawl into bed, I will typically just lay there and stare at the ceiling. Inevitably my imagination will get the better of me and I will convince myself that the boogie man has been casing my house and was just waiting for my husband to leave town. Every sound from the house makes me sit up and I turn the baby monitor to deafening levels. I have actually been known to create traps around the house to warn me of intruders. To keep the hours of laying in bed and freaking out to a minimum, I will try to stay up as long as I can and force myself into pure exhaustion before even going to bed.

However, last Tuesday night my worst nightmare was realized. At 3:00 in the morning a man was in my daughter's room.

Instantly awake and alert, I jumped out of bed and grabbed the closest thing I could to pummel the intruder. (I'm sorry to say the lamp has seen better days..kind of forgot it was actually plugged in) I ran down the hallway and burst into my daughter's room.

She's sleeping soundly....and there appears to be no man. Great...Now I'm hearing things.

But then he speaks again..."Where the hell are you!?!"

I'm tiptoeing around my daughter's room - wondering where the hell this asshole is - and how is my daughter sleeping through this..

"I. am. speed", he says.

"Wait a minute....."

It's her freakin' Lightening McQueen race car. Who is "parked" inside her doll house and somehow short circuited or something - because the damn thing won't shut up.

I grabbed him...and the remains of my lamp and went back to my room.

He's now wrapped in two t-shirts and shoved inside a tampax box in my bathroom.

To most people, it's a boring and often very cold job. But to a 4 year old, getting the mail is an adventure. Taking that not so long walk down the driveway, opening the door and seeing what secrets are inside is very exciting ...and the question that always follows..."which mail is mine?".

I, of course, give her all the junk mail and tell her that her name is "resident".

Today's adventure, however, turned out somewhat different.

There are those times in your life when you just happen to be in a place...at the same time someone else is in that place...and there really is no reason to explain why you are both in that place at the same time - except maybe with out knowing it...one of you needed to be in that place. Crap...did that make sense at all?

My husband and I are not overly neighborly people. It's not that we're mean or snub our neighbors, we just don't have much of an opportunity to get to know them. No one knocked on our door when we moved in with fruit baskets and even though we live in a neighborhood, the traffic can be pretty fast (assholes), so most of us don't let our kids play out front. I wave in the morning when I see them, and smile if I'm working in the yard...but in all honestly, have never really knocked on anyone's door and introduced myself.

Makes for borrowing sugar troublesome.

So, my daughter and I set out on our trek of getting the mail when right at the same time a lovely older women and her beautiful, to what it looks like to me, pure white Husky. I've seen her walking her dog before - and have always appreciated when she picks the crap out of my yard. No, seriously, I have no problem with any dog crapping in my yard...As long as they pick up after it.

So, we're walking down, and I start my normal parenting thing..."Don't ever run up to a strange animal...Always ask before you touch....Blah blah blah", when she says "Can I touch him?"

Lady: "Of course you can sweet heart. He's not feeling very well today, so he may not lick you"
Me: "Ok, sweetie. Be gentle. Puppy isn't feeling well, so be real nice, ok?"
Child: "Ok. I'll be nice.

She spends a few minutes patting his back and rubbing her hands in his fur, which I have to admit was difficult for me not to grab this dog and rub my face in him. He was that pretty. And SO patient and kind with a small hand grabbing and poking.

I stopped to ask what his name was and why he wasn't feeling well - she informed me that they just found out today that he has very advanced cancer and is currently in kidney failure. He didn't have too many days left.

And he's sitting in my front yard - letting a strange little girl hug him.

I teared up and put my arm out and held hers and said the only thing I could..."I'm so sorry"

Next thing you know two total strangers are crying next to a mailbox.

I still don't know her name - or the dog's. But I think I'll notice when they don't walk past my house anymore.

I realize that it's not even Thanksgiving yet - but I'm starting to have a few Christmas panic attacks. What can I say - I like to be prepared.

Moving our daughter out of her regular day care, and into a private school was by FAR the best choice we have made. She's learning so much more, and more importantly, she is so much happier in this school. The teachers actually teach, the parents are involved and the school seems to actually care.

All that being said...it's taking a toll on our check book. Higher education comes at a price.

Driving to work yesterday it dawned on me. I need to start thinking about Christmas gifts for her teachers. I believe that's proper, right? Last year - it wasn't a big deal. She had two teachers and an assistant teacher. Gift Cards all around. Who doesn't like a gift card?

This year?

4 main teachers and 6 assistants.

10 People Total.

What the hell am I going to get for 10 people??

If you guys have ANY ideas - throw them out there - I'm desperate.

Can you imagine the gift I get for my mother this year? A card that says, "Sorry you only got this crappy card, but your Granddaughter has 10 teachers and they took all my money!"

My husband and I were not on the first wave of consumers that jumped on the Tivo/DVR idea. Admittedly, we were intrigued, but it took us a little while to get there. As a matter of fact, my husband gave me my first Tivo as a Christmas gift in 2003.

One of the best presents I've ever gotten.

Now five years later - I honestly don't know how ANYONE survives without one. Well, maybe those people who don't watch tv...or (gasp) those folks that don't even own a tv...But I don't associate myself with those people. Freaks.

Having a Tivo if you have a child is also a must. Having children can be very unpredictable...So, there are no worries if in the middle of Survivor baby needs a diaper change. Just hit pause. No harm - No foul. It also works as they get older. My tivo is filled with Season Passes to Sesame Street, Little Einsteins and Johnny & The Sprites.

So, you see - my tivo is also HELPING me. Good device...gooood device.

However, I've noticed over the last few months that there are some shows that we just aren't watching. Even though we've asked Tivo to record them for us - when we finally get her down and asleep - we're choosing not watch them. We go for something else. We've got weeks of certain shows just piling up.

The shows that are piling up..... shows like CSI. It's just so dark - so depressing. I used to LOVE that show. Always interested to see who the new bad guy was - how were they going to crack the case - all the cool gadgets they would use in the lab.

But now I find myself saying "Can't they EVER turn the lights on"...

(as a side note: if you aren't watching Bones - you totally should be. All the procedural drama like CSI but with funny characters and humor. You get all the cool forensic crap without all the gloom and doom. Very cool show)

I just don't have enough time in my day to give up and I would rather watch someone get voted out of the tribe or see if Meredith is ever going to get her head out of her ass.

So, what about you? What shows do you watch? What shows have you cut off?

A couple of years ago I got this lovely blanket as a Christmas gift from a friend. There wasn't anything overly special about it - other than it was soft and smushy and felt good wrapped around me on the couch. Oh, and it was red. And I like red. So that was cool too.

Over the years, the red blanket has moved from the couch to my bed. Mostly because I have a dark green couch - and the red blanket was making it look like I was celebrating Christmas all year long - but also because it's soft and smushy and feels good wrapped around me - so I thought it would serve a good role in my bed.

I was right.

Every night, winter or summer, I put my red blanket over me and snuggle in.

Then I took some stupid pills and screwed the whole thing.

Let's set the scene. My husband had gone out of town, which isn't too terribly out of the ordinary, but this trip was a LONG one, and about five days into the trip my daughter started to lose her shit. Sleeping was not happening. Eating was not happening. Smiling was never going to happen again. EVER. So, in a moment of panic and sheer exhaustion, I offered the Red Magic Blanket if she would just shut up and go to bed.

Now we're six months later - and she asks for the Magic Blanket every night before bed. And every night I give it to her. And every night at MY bedtime, I sneak back into her room and take it back.

I told her this morning that maybe Santa would bring her her very own magic blanket...Her response...

"No, just have him bring one for you. I have one."