I am NORMAL!

Today was a better day.  I haven't woken up feeling normal in more than 8 days.  I woke up this morning and ate breakfast and had energy for once.  I wanted to get up and do something fun.

I noticed on Facebook that Arthur's cousin had posted about an opening she had at her salon today for a haircut.  I needed a haircut so bad, and needed something to make myself feel better about things.  I checked with her and it was still available! 

I woke Arthur up and we got ready to go.  I had an appointment at 12:30.  She was able to dye my hair and give me some cute bangs.  I didn't get a chance to take a picture of it yet, but I will tomorrow when I have some time to make myself look more presentable. 

After that, we ran a few more errands and came home for dinner.  I made some pizza and some corn and now I'm just going to relax the rest of the night. 

I felt a bubble-like flutter today in my abdomen.  I'm not sure if it was gas, or the first movements of my baby.  I looked it up and 12 weeks is not too early to feel a "flutter".  I hope that's what it was!! 

It was nice to feel somewhat normal today.  :)

How far along:  12 Weeks, 2 Days
How much time left:  27 Weeks, 5 days

Top two symptoms:  I kept my  nausea under control today by eating when I could.  I think my worst symptom of all was a headache after I had my hair appointment. 

Favorite thing I ate today:  This delicious Totino's pizza!  I know, sounds crazy - but it is so good!!

Mood:  I woke up in such a great mood, mostly because I wasn't coughing, or hurting all over.  The thought of having a haircut really cheered me up, since I've been so down on myself this week.  It really helped.  :)

Worried about:  Going back to work this week.  Even though it will be an easy week, I'm not sure I'm ready for the general public again. 

Excited for:  More movement feelings!  I know it can be few and far between, but I will still stay optimistic that I will feel more movement down there.  :)

Last Friday of the Year!

Happy Friday! 

Today was a chill day.  I worked from home all day, getting things wrapped up for the end of the year.  I'm working from home on Monday as well, and then I have Tuesday off for New Year's Day.  I am really grateful for the opportunity I have to work from home.  It's nice to be able to wake up and go to work still in my pajamas.

Early this morning, Arthur's fish came in the mail.  He purchased them on Wednesday and they overnighted them yesterday to arrive today.  He was really excited to put them in his tank.  That was most of his big present from me, fish.  He got a gift card to SaltwaterFish.com and some money to buy fish at the fish store.  He seemed to really like that.  :)

Arthur's family is coming over tonight to play some games.  We spent a few hours this afternoon cleaning up the house since it was still messy from Christmas.  I was really struggling with nausea and a headache, but I was able to get at least one load of dishes in and I was able to clean the bathroom.  After that, I took a shower and had a nap.  Even the smallest tasks take everything out of me. 

I'm excited that the house is clean for the weekend, though.  That means that Arthur and I can spend some time together.  We've been really separated this past week since I've been so sick and needed to sleep a lot.  I don't think we've done something fun outside of the house since a few weeks before Christmas.  I haven't even felt like leaving the house since before Christmas either.  I'm really looking forward to feeling more normal.

How far along:  12 Weeks, 1 Day
How much time left:  27 Weeks, 6 days

Top two symptoms:  Nausea and Exhaustion.  A headache too.  My nausea didn't get bad until this evening.  It seems to get bad now whenever I exert any physical energy.  Going up and down the stairs, bending over, showering... all of that stuff makes my nausea go crazy.  Loading the dishwasher this afternoon prompted my only throw up for the day.  At least my stomach was empty.  :)

Favorite thing I ate today:  I didn't find much pleasure in food today.  I think the best thing I ate was hashbrowns that Arthur made for breakfast.  They were really good.

Mood:  Today, I felt pretty normal until I had to start getting up and getting moving.  The dishwasher made me feel like I was dying.  Mostly because of the back and forth, up and down motions, combined with the smells.  My mood went downhill at that point.

Worried about:  The thought of making myself presentable to go outside and interact with the general public.  Being around anyone but Arthur and my immediate family makes me feel really scared.  I'm not very pleasant, and I'm mostly grumpy.  I don't want to be short with someone who is trying to be nice to me.  I worry about that now that my emotions seem to be out of control.

Excited for:  Starting to feel normal, eventually. 

The Days After Christmas

Today is Thursday!  I think I'm averaging about a blog a week now.  I really struggle to get the energy even just to sit here and get out my thoughts about how I'm feeling and what I'm up to.

Christmas was wonderful, and busy.  It all started Christmas Eve.  We went to Arthur's mom's house to get a gift for a secret santa.  Arthur's mom had gathered some presents for someone she works with so they could have a somewhat decent Christmas.  I helped with delivering it.  They didn't open the door, but it felt good to be able to help out make someone's Christmas brighter.  :)

After that, Arthur and I went to his Grandma's house.  We had a few snacks and exchanged gifts with his grandparents.  We were there for about an hour.  After that, we went up to my parent's house for the Christmas Eve party.  Everyone was there but Whit, Leo and Jackson.  Jackson and Leo have been sick so they didn't make it up.  :(  I know how it feels to be sick, though.  Ugh!

We hung out for a little while and had dessert with my family.  We packed up and headed back to Arthur's mom's house about 9:00.  We got there and got our pajamas and slippers.  Arthur's mom always gets everyone a new pair of pajamas to wear.  It's a fun tradition, and I think I'd like to continue it with my own kids someday.

I was really tired and didn't feel very well, so I went to bed pretty early while Arthur wrapped a few more things for his mom.  In the night, I was coughing so much I couldn't really sleep.  I woke up probably 10+ times coughing.  I finally gave up around 4 and just lay there hoping that time would fly by until it was time to wake up and do Christmas.  I took some cough drops and got up a few times to blow my nose.  That helped pass the time.  :)

Around 8:00, the kids (Arthur's nieces and nephew) all got up and woke everyone up.  We went out and opened presents.  I was pretty much a zombie, but I still had fun opening presents.

I took a nap after presents and was able to wake up a little to go to my family's house.  We left around 12:30 and go to my mom's around 1:00 PM.  We were the first ones there.  Adrienne and then Leo arrived.  Mike was already there.  We did gifts by family and it was fun to see everyone open up their presents.

We hung out for a little while, and left around 4:30 to get to his mom's house for Christmas dinner.  She made turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, and all of that delicious stuff.

We exchanged gifts with Aunt Joan and it was fun to see her reaction at getting a cell phone.  :)

After that, Arthur and I came home and did our gift exchange.  It was an exhausting but fun day.

I got a lot of really great stuff, and even some baby stuff.  I try and post a picture of all of it together since there is more than I can handle with individual pictures.  :)

I did get a really great gliding rocking chair that I can use someday in my nursery.  That will be great!

The past two days, I've been working on recovering completely from my cold and also remembering what it feels like to be pregnant.  My nausea has returned full swing.  My exhaustion is also back with an amazing backache.  I have 2 muscles in my back that feel like they're attached to a giant fish hook and someone is always pulling on them as I move.  The only thing that feels good is to sit on a heating pad or to lie down flat on my back.  I don't really have a lot of energy to do anything.  Eating is about all I can do, and so any energy I have, I spend it finding or making food.

Today I worked from home.  My nausea was over the top.  I threw up twice, which for me is not normal.  I hoped that my nausea would magically disappear beginning week 12, but it hasn't yet.  :(  My cold is slowly clearing up.  I'm still coughing a bit and my congestion comes and goes.  I need to be better by the weekend so I can be somewhat productive with chores and stuff.

How far along:  12 Weeks TODAY!!
How much time left:  28 Weeks 

Top two symptoms:  Nausea bad enough for barfing and backache bad enough for sitting around all day.  Again. 

Favorite thing I ate today:  I made cream of mushroom soup and rice.  It's a comfort food from my childhood.  It's the only thing that sounded halfway decent that wasn't really hard to make. 

Mood:  My mood is depressed.  I feel very much like a waste of space.  I think that others may believe that I have a choice about how positively I'm thinking, and how much I do in a day, but unfortunately, my body makes almost every choice for me these days.  For example, this morning I tried eating peaches and mandarin oranges.  I did fine with the mandarin oranges, but when I started eating the peaches, I threw them right back up.  It was awful.  I got it in my hair and the throwing up caused another muscle in my back to pop out.  I just want to feel like a normal person again.  

Worried about:  My wonderful husband getting tired of doing EVERYTHING for me.  He did pretty much everything for me before I was pregnant, but that was because he is just a generous, hardworking guy.  Now, I feel like I can't even choose to get up and do what I want.  I want to bake a cake.  I can't even stand the thought of paying attention to something for that long.  So I can't bake a cake.  My husband is so patient.  I hope he doesn't get annoyed and decide I'm not worth it anymore.  :(

Excited for:  My next doctor's appointment, which is a week from  next Friday.  Ultrasound.  Ultrasound.  Ultrasound.  Light at the end of this dark and dreary tunnel.

Now, don't assume that I hate everything about pregnancy and I'm angry with the world for putting me in this situation.  I am still extremely happy that I am pregnant and I still wouldn't change my situation for anything else in the world.  I know there are those out there that would die to be pregnant.  I remember that all day long.  I struggle to feel positive, though... and even if my mind says 'I'm going to be happy!', my body responds with barfing, or a sharp stab to my back, or a headache that feels like I've been smacked with a mallet.  I knew it would be hard.  I know it will be worth it.  I'm just hoping to get out of this swamp soon so I can start to see the positive somewhere in all of this. 

Lots of Rest for the Weary

Happy Sunday!

I have had a very low-key day today, and really focused on trying to rest and recover.  I am looking forward to feeling normal again.

During the week at work, when others realized I was getting sick, they would say "It sucks to be sick during the holidays!"  I would keep replying that I didn't care if I was sick for Christmas, as long as I was not at work.  After missing 2 really big Christmas parties with my family and Arthur's family, I'm starting to understand why people say that it sucks.

I really was looking forward to going to my sister's Christmas party last night to see Jackson and Brielle and Adam and Whit and EVERYONE.  I realized as time got closer to when it was time to leave that there was no way I was going to be able to shower and get ready.  So I had to call my sister and tell her I couldn't go.  The good news is that I got to FaceTime with them and waved hello to everyone from my bed.  That made it better.

Today I've done little but nap and eat a little here and there.  My cough is significantly better.  I still just have those violent fits of coughing every once in awhile, and less often than before.  My congestion is much better, and I can breathe through one nostril.  :)  I'm still feeling pretty tired and generally out of it, which tells me I'm still working on getting better.

My parents and Grandma came out today so they could see our Christmas tree.  My Grandma has only been to our house once before, but it was very dark out, and so she couldn't see much of the house with just the inside lights on.  She sat in front of the tree for nearly an hour just admiring it and commenting about how pretty the blue ornaments were.  I stayed upstairs the whole time and just waved at my family from the "loft" of the kitchen.  I told my mom that if she was going to insist on coming over, then I was going to Lysol everything and stay away from them.  I did that.  I didn't touch anybody and Arthur did a good cleaning before they all came over.  It was nice to see my Grandma and my parents after being cooped up in my house for so long.

After they left, Arthur got ready and went to his mom's house to help her with wrapping her gifts for their family.  Arthur loves to wrap, so it's something he looks forward to every year.  He left me here so I could get some more rest.  I wanted to go, but I know that if I go outside in the cold air, it could set me back.  The freezing air just killed me on Friday when I went to work, and it took me like 4 hours to feel normal again after being outside.  So, I stayed home.  I'm marinating some chicken and Mike is going to BBQ it for us.

Tomorrow is Christmas Eve.  I really hope I've got some more energy tomorrow so we can go to the Christmas Eve party at my parent's house.  I look forward to that every year.  The gift exchange is the best part, when we trade white elephant gifts.  It's also the beginning of the Christmas Day marathon.

The Christmas Day marathon begins on Christmas Eve night.  We go to my family's house for dinner and dessert and a Christmas program.  By about 9:30-10:00, we leave and go to Arthur's mom's house.  We get Christmas pajamas and open presents that the siblings give each other.  Then, we sleep there and get up super early on Christmas day for presents with his family.  We stay there until about noon and then go to my family's house.  We open gifts there until about 3 or 4 and then go back to his mom's house for Christmas dinner and gifts from his Aunt Joan.  By the time we get home to exchange gifts with each other, it's usually about 9 or 10 PM.  I'm always so exhausted, but it's always fun to look forward to our gifts to each other.

How far along:  11 weeks, 3 days
How much time left:  28 Weeks, 4 days
Top two symptoms:  Nausea today a bit, since my cold seems to be getting a bit better.  Cold-wise, coughing and congestion.  :(

Favorite thing I ate today:  My little brother Mike made me a grilled cheese sandwich.  He calls it a "Grilled Cheesus".  It's pretty funny.  :)

Mood:  I was pretty mopey/whiney today.  I think it's because I want to get up and do stuff, but my body just wants to drag, so that makes me feel like I can't do all of the things I want to do. 

Worried about:  The Christmas Day marathon.  After thinking it through... I hope I have the energy to do everything.  I will rest most of the day tomorrow and hopefully I'll feel better by tomorrow night. 

Excited for:  Christmas Food.  Maybe some mashed potatoes.  Maybe some turkey.  Not sure what's on the menu, but I'm hungry for it!!!!!  :)

Pregnancy + Sick = Bad News Bears

I normally post every day, but this past week I've been really sick.  :(  I've got the next 4 days off, so I'll definitely try and blog over the holidays.  

I got a lot of great feedback after posting my initial announcement to the limited number of people on FaceBook.  I got a lot of blog views, and a bunch of people who commented on the post.  It made me feel good to know that I have so much support.

So, about being sick... I always have a very dull headache due to hormones.  The headache usually gets worse if I haven't slept much or if I'm getting hungry.  It comes along with nausea and so if I don't eat at the right time, it gets worse.  I hadn't slept well on Sunday night through Tuesday night.  I scheduled myself to work from home on Wednesday because I didn't have any meetings in office.

As I was working comfortably from my office couch on Wednesday morning, I noticed that my headache was getting worse than normal, and I was feeling a bit congested.  I brushed it off as nothing because congestion comes and goes for me.  By Wednesday afternoon, I started feeling dizzy, and my back was throbbing.  I decided to log off a couple of hours early (I let my boss know) and go try and sleep.

I got into bed and I started having chills really bad, and so I plugged in the heating pad.  It was nice to get a nap and warm up.

A few hours later, I woke up with the worst headache of my life and a terrible backache.  I was worried about the backache because that combined with cramping (which I didn't have) can be a sign of the beginning of miscarriage.

Fast forward to Thursday morning.  I woke up very sick and had congestion like crazy.  Because I'd slept on my heating pad, it helped my back a bit.  I had to call in sick because there was no way I could go to work.

I stayed in bed most of the day on Thursday.  Arthur had the day off, which was nice for him.

I had to go back to work on Friday, because I had a mandatory 2 hour meeting that I had to run and my team's Christmas party.  I wanted to go to that, so I really pushed myself to get up and get going.  I got to work by 9:00 AM.  Barely.  My cough was so bad, I had to pull over a few times on the highway to cough a bunch before I could drive again.  Ugh!

At work I was in a daze.  I don't remember much of the meeting at all.  I do remember that my boss gave everyone on the team a gift, and I got a great present from my friend Ashley.  She gave me a funny Awkward Family Photos (siblings edition) puzzle, and my first gender neutral baby outfits!  When I say first, I mean the first from someone that's not me.  :)

One was a onesie pack of 3, with tan, white and yellow.  The white one has a super cute little duck on it, and the yellow one has a brown and yellow print on it.  The one on the left is footie pajamas with a hat.  The hat, it's the cutest part.  Arthur loved them as well.  :)  They're hanging in my office closet with some of the other stuff that Arthur and I bought (even before we were pregnant...)

Anyhoo, work was done by 12:30 PM and so I went with my team for our Christmas party lunch.  We went to the Olive Garden.  I was so sick before I went in.  I sat in my car and just coughed for like 5 minutes straight because I knew that coughing in a public place like that wouldn't fly with strangers.

I ordered my food (Chicken Parmesan) and was a zombie the whole time.  I had a few coughing fits, but made it through alive.  When the check was signed, I was OUT OF THERE.  I couldn't stand to be sitting up anymore.  I was worried about the drive home because of how I was feeling.  But, I made it home.  I don't remember the drive, but I know I ended up in my bed about 45 minutes later.  I slept until it was time for the Christmas party at our house.

We had Arthur's family over for the "Festivus for the Rest of Us".  It's a knockoff from Seinfeld.  We ate sandwiches and treats, and played games, including a gift exchange.  I was in bed most of the night.  I felt so bad because Arthur's family was so nice to me and no one was frustrated that I didn't socialize much.  I also felt bad because Arthur worked from early in the morning on Friday until his family got there at 7 on getting ready for the party.  He cleaned the whole house (every room, including my office) and prepared the meal.  I did nothing but lay in bed.  :(

Last night after everyone left, Mike gave me some TheraFlu.  I drank it so fast.  Within minutes I started feeling drowsy and so I was able to sleep.  I woke up this morning feeling a bit better.  My temperature was down (from 100 the night before) to 97.9.  I was so grateful for that!

Arthur woke up sick, unfortunately... so he is going to go through all this tomorrow through Christmas, probably.  I feel really bad for him, and I understand.  I'm going to do what I can to make it up to him for all of the hard work he put in while I was sick.  :)

Tonight, I'm feeling fair.  My cough has gotten significantly better.  I continue to have a few violent coughing fits, and it hurts pretty bad when I do.  The worst thing right now is my congestion.  The good news in all of this:  It's masked my pregnancy symptoms, so I haven't really dealt with (or cared much about) nausea or anything else.  Amazing!

How far along:  11 weeks, 2 days
How much time left:  28 Weeks, 5 days
Top two symptoms:  Pregnancy related...exhaustion.  Cold related?  Congestion.  I can't WAIT to breathe normally again. 

Favorite thing I ate today:  A Kraft Mac and Cheese bucket.  It was so good. 

Mood:  My mood was normal.  Not as grumpy as I've been over the past 4 days or so. 

Worried about:  Not feeling well enough to get the house clean before Christmas.  I hope I feel like a rockstar tomorrow. 

Excited for:  CHRISTMAS DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pregnancy Update!

Now that I have my vacation blog entry out of the way, I can now post about how things are going with my pregnancy!

Over the past week at work, it was really, really busy.  Probably the most busy I've been since I went to the Philippines.  We are training a new group of Coaches on Quality, so there is a ton of prep work that I had to do before it started.  Since I had the week before off, I didn't get time to prep like the rest of my team did.

The week was successful, and I was able to get through it without too much stress.  Mostly, I was looking forward to Friday, which was my first official doctor's appointment.

One strange thing was that I hadn't gotten a confirmation phone call from the doctor's office like I normally do.  I called around 11 AM and asked to confirm the time.  They told me they didn't have me on the schedule at 4, but at 3.  So I had to call Arthur and tell him to get ready.  I left work a little early because I was so excited to get there.

I picked up Arthur at home (he had the day off) around 2:30.  We drove to the office and had to wait for almost an hour.  It was so busy!  When we finally went in, the doctor completely calmed my fears by saying "You ready to hear a heartbeat today?!"  All of my fears were washed away.  He told me to get on the table and he had a medical student help him.  I told Arthur to record it with my phone.

At first, the doctor could only get my heartbeat.  Then, he found my baby's heartbeat.  It was so fast, and strong!  Arthur got up and came over by me and we held my phone by the speaker.  I closed my eyes and just listened.  It was really amazing.  I made a little video so you can hear it:

The doctor said that the heartbeat was completely normal at 182 beats per minute.  I was happy to hear that it was beating so strong.  It really does feel real now.  :)

How far along:  10 Weeks, 2 days
How much time left:  29 Weeks, 5 days
Top two symptoms:  I had low energy today.  Over the past two days my appetite has come back.  Everything tastes good!

Favorite thing I ate today:  Mango Peach Salsa from Costco.  Steak.  Hashbrowns.  Oh my goodness, with my taste buds working again, everything tastes good. 

Mood:  My mood today was happy.  I had a really relaxing day.

Worried about:  Getting through this week before Christmas!

Excited for:  My next doctor's appointment!  4 weeks away!  January 11th!

"It's been days!"

While cooking dinner tonight, Arthur asked "Are you going to blog?  It's been days!"

Yes, it's been days.  2 weeks and 1 day since I blogged.  I'm really sorry for the delay.  I was on vacation for the first week and didn't have a computer.  The second week my only excuse was being extremely busy and trying to get feeling normal after a week of theme parks.

The vacation was really fun.  Arthur, his brother and I left Utah on Sunday and drove to Vegas.  We stayed at the Flamingo.  The room was really retro with pink walls and lights.  It was pretty crazy.

We woke up early on Monday morning so we could drive to Anaheim.  It was a 4 hour drive.  As soon as we got there, we went right to Disneyland.  The rain stopped just as we parked, which was really nice.  I've been to Disney before when it's raining, and it's miserable.  We went to California Adventure the first day because Eli loves Ariel, and so we went on her new ride first.  We also had dinner at Ariel's Grotto.  We took pictures with all of the princesses.  I got a picture with my delicious dessert.

The next day we got up extremely early and went to Universal Studios.  I was really struggling, because the drive was really long and I was very sick the whole way there.  I slept on the ride, and when I woke up when we got there, I wasn't sure I was going to be able to spend a whole day in the park.  I sucked it up and got out of the car.  I had to go to the bathroom before we got into the park, so I went to the public restrooms by the elevators.  It was so stinky in there, I started to throw up.  Well, kind of throw up since I can't actually throw up.  It's more of a very painful hiccup over and over again until the feeling passes.  So dumb.

At Universal Studios, we went on the fun rides.  When I say "we", I mean Eli and Arthur went on the fun rides.  I couldn't ride any of the exciting ones like Simpsons, or the Studio Tour or the Mummy or Transformers.  I could only go to the shows and stuff like that.  It was ok, though because I kept reminding myself of how important it was that I keep my baby safe.  I spent a lot of time eating food and people watching.  :)

I didn't get any pictures of myself at Universal Studios, but Arthur got a picture with Bumblebee and Optimus Prime.  He just got mad at me because I wasn't sure who each of them were.  So, I'm posting both pictures of him with them.

That night we went to the No Doubt concert at Universal Studios.  I started feeling better towards the second half of the day, so I was looking forward to sitting and listening to the music.  Before we went in and got our seats, Eli wanted to look at the merchandise they were selling.  The stuff was all really expensive, but we found something we liked.  Arthur and I decided on a onesie with No Doubt on it.  It is gray, and it has blue, green, white and pink on it.  It will look good on a boy or a girl.

The next day we went back to Disneyland to ride the rides there.  There are actually a lot of rides I can go on in Disneyland.  I rode Pirates, Haunted Mansion, It's a Small World and Toy Story.  I had a lot of fun!  My favorite part of the day was meeting the Queen of Hearts and seeing Sleeping Beauty's castle at night with the Christmas lights.

I also found a fancy hat that I loved!  Everyone at Disneyland wears Micky ears hats, and this one was amazing because it was brown.

I didn't buy it, though, because I wasn't going to be in Disneyland much longer, and the only place you can wear Mickey ears without looking crazy is in Disneyland.  :)

The next day we went to Sea World in San Diego.  I told Arthur that the only way I was going to go to Sea World was if I could go to my favorite restaurant in Pacific Beach called the Broken Yolk.  They have the most delicious breakfast burritos!  We went and I got my photo eating my burrito.

At Sea World, Arthur saw a Shamu-themed bug.  He wanted his picture by it.

When we got into the park, we saw the Sea World Christmas tree.  Arthur wanted us to stand by it because it was ocean-themed.

At Sea World, we saw shows, and rode the sky ride.  My favorite part of the day was feeding the flamingos.  They were so sweet, they ate right out of our hands.  We could pet them even!

The next day was going to be a half day at Disneyland and then drive to Las Vegas.  We went on a few of the rides that we'd already gone on, and Arthur and Eli went on the new Cars ride.  They had to wait in line for nearly 2 hours.  I had a nap on a bench.  :)

Disneyland is very magical at Christmas time.  Everything is decorated!

After Disneyland, we drove back to Vegas.  We stopped at this place that had a real mermaid in an aquarium!  It was so crazy!  She had these oxygen hoses that were spread throughout the tank so she could breathe.

We spent the night at the Luxor and then got up the next morning and came home.  It was a really fun trip! 

Thank Goodness It's.....

FRIDAY!!!

Finally.  The week is over.  This has been a very long week.  I had a couple of really bad days and a couple of ok days.  I think I would classify today as an ok day. 

I got to work around 8:30 and I started working as soon as I sat down.  I was busy the entire day!  I had to prepare a bunch of stuff because I was going to be out of the office all next week for California.  Hurrayyyyyy!

I had lunch with two really great friends, Terri and Chet.  We went to Thai food and I had the lunch special.  Terri was kind enough to pay, which was so nice. 

I learned that the Social Media position that I'm interested in is going to be posted next week, and I'm excited to apply. 

Tonight I'm craving mashed potatoes so Arthur is making some.  Also, a pizza.  He got a weird frozen pizza in the mail from a survey company.  He's supposed to try cooking and tell them what he thinks.  I'm excited for the potatoes.  ;)

Tomorrow is get ready for trip day.  I will, however, be sleeping in.  I don't think I can deal with another 5:00 AM wakeup day.  Ugh!

How far along:  8 weeks, 1 day
How much time left:  31 weeks, 6 days
Top two symptoms:  Headache and Exhaustion.  My nausea was under control today because I really tried to keep my stomach half-full.  The headache was really bad before lunch, so I tried to eat some chocolate before I headed out.  It seemed to help. 

Favorite thing I ate today:  Tom Ka soup from the Thai restaurant.  It is a coconut milk soup, and I had it with some Jasmine rice.  Soo good!

Mood:  My mood today was good to great.  There were a few times during the day that I was super exhausted, but I tried to stay as happy as I could.

Worried about:  A few things.  The workload when I get back from vacation and being comfortable on the ride to and back from California.  I hope I can have a chance to get out and walk on the drive.  My legs will go crazy!!

Excited for:  Not thinking about work for a whole week.  :)

Whoops! Sorry I'm late...

I don't think I've meant to not blog these past 3 days... I think I just haven't felt very well and logging in to type how I'm feeling just hasn't sounded very fun.

My last post was on Sunday, and I was really struggling that day.  Since then, I've appreciated coming back to work and focusing on something other than being pregnant.

As of yesterday, I've started dealing with nausea at night that is so severe that I'm starting to throw up.  I went to Panda Express last night with Arthur and his little sister to celebrate her birthday.  When I got home, I was so nauseous that I threw up.  It was bad news bears.

I took a bath after to try to calm down and feel better, but going to sleep is really the only thing that helped me feel normal.  I am feeling slightly out of it this morning.

The good news is all of this, I'm not too tired today and I'm looking forward to this weekend because we are going to California!  We planned this vacation before I knew I was pregnant, and so I'll just have to be careful with not riding most rides.  We are going to Vegas on Sunday night, the driving to Disneyland on Monday.  We'll stay 4 nights in Anaheim and during those days we'll go either down to San Diego to Sea World, Universal Studios or to Disney.  We'll stay Friday night in Vegas at the Luxor, and then come back on Saturday so we can spend Sunday getting ready for a new week.

I'm looking forward to the time off most of all.  :)

In other news, my mom brought me a "care package" at work yesterday because I was so sick the night before.  I called her crying on Tuesday night because I was so sick.  She brought me some Andes mints, some caffeine free Diet Coke, some protein shakes and some mint tea.  She also brought me a couple of baby toys, the first ones we've received.  It was so nice of her.

Arthur and I also had fun last night with his little sister to celebrate her birthday.  We went to a place called "Color Me Mine" and we painted pottery with glaze.  It was really fun.  I will post pictures once they are ready to be picked up.  :)

How far along:  8 weeks TODAY!
How much time left:  32 weeks
Top two symptoms:  Nausea and bloating

Favorite thing I ate today:  So far, I haven't had much to eat.  I'm looking forward to eating something for lunch.  Not sure what I'm going to have, but I'm feeling like a TeriYaki Grill salad.  Yum...

Mood:  A little hopeless and frustrated with my body.  I know that it's a good thing that I'm feeling so gross, because it means that my baby is growing.  I struggle to feel positive and excited when I feel like dying inside.  I'm sure that focusing on something else, like vacation will help me get my mind off of everything.  :)

Worried about:  Being sick while on vacation.  I'm going to try to pack lots of snacks so I don't get an empty stomach and make sure I have plenty of time to sleep when possible. 

Excited for:  Pirates of the Caribbean!  Also, Disneyland food!  And, buying baby stuff from Disneyland!!  Wooo!

I would like to call this my "Blahg"

Blahg, because I feel blah today.  Now, close your eyes.  Think back to the worst bout of flu you ever had.  How did your head feel?  What about your stomach?  Did you feel like eating anything?  What about your energy?  How much did you have?  Now.  Picture doing normal, everyday things while feeling like this, all while acting positive.  Showering?  Working?  Cleaning? 

I am trying really, really hard to not stay positive, but to stay sane.  I know that this is EXACTLY what I signed up for, and I would never ever trade it, for anything.  I would have love to have prepared myself mentally for what this is.  I know there is no preparation for parenthood, or pregnancy... I think I just assumed that I would have control over a few things and would be used to the feelings of nausea and low energy.  I get that stuff anyways with gastric bypass.  But to be honest, this is not nausea, or exhaustion.  This is the flu.  But, it never stops.  Add on a headache that feels like a wooden vice is wrapped around your head, and the screws tighten every minute, or until you take a Tylenol or lie down.  The main things that make me feel better are lying down and sleeping. 

Now that I've got that over with, I feel slightly better.  Not really, but I figured I should write down how I'm feeling.  I know for a fact that I will never remember this a year from now, when I have a sweet little baby who is all I've ever wanted. 

I sincerely apologize to those of you who are reading this who just want to feel these symptoms and understand these emotions as your own.  It is not my intention to complain or downplay the miracle that is my pregnancy.  I do feel it is important to call out the frustrating things as well as the positive things.  I don't think I completely understood what this would feel like, for me anyway.  Some don't even have these symptoms or to the severity that I'm having them.  I might just be a baby, or unable to cope, but I'm experiencing them all the same. 

I am going to re-commit to trying to be more positive and focus on what I am enjoying as part of this experience.  I am enjoying having a family who is very excited for us.  I am enjoying having a husband who is endlessly patient with me, and even though I can tell he gets frustrated with me for being so lazy and so sick, he quietly does what he can to make sure I handle what I can, while he takes care of the rest.

So, I'm sure you can see what I did today.  I lay around a lot.  I did a few chores, and Arthur did the rest.  I worked a little bit in the morning because I had an end-of-week deadline.  Other than that, a bunch of naps and even more naps.

How far along:  7 weeks, 3 days
How much time left:  32 weeks, 4 days
Top two symptoms:  THE FLU OF DEATH.  Also, feelings of hopelessness and being done.

Favorite thing I ate today:  A vegan chicken patty.  Strange, but it was absolutely delicious.

Mood:  I won't rehash what I've typed above.  Let's just say... "unpleasant". 

Worried about:  Breaking eggshells.

Excited for:  Something else aside from pregnancy to focus on.  Work, anything.  Again, I would not trade this for anything in the world.  I made this choice, and I wanted - even prayed for it.  I'm not taking it back.  I'm just asking for a bit of relief. 

Relaxaturday

Today has been a very, very lazy day.  I haven't accomplished anything but playing games and watching TV.  It's been nice to have a day to do nothing.  :)

I woke up this morning for the first time at 4:30 after going to bed around 1:00 AM.  That was for my first pee of the day.  I was able to go back to sleep in my own bed until about 7 for my second pee.  Then I couldn't sleep in my bed any longer and had to eat something.  I made some toast and some yogurt.  I ate them and took my vitamins.  I was still so exhausted, so I went downstairs and went back to sleep on the couch.  I slept until about 9:30.  Then I woke up and peed and went back to sleep until almost 1.  I finally felt like I'd had enough sleep.

That's a rough part of this time in the pregnancy.  I can't just sleep through the night and get a solid 8 or 10 hours.  It comes in bouts with interruptions of needing to empty my bladder.  :\

Arthur and I had some lunch together and we watched Survivor and a few other shows.  I decided I needed to take a bath, because my body was hurting everywhere.  So I did that, and then sent a few Facebook messages to extended family letting them know I was pregnant.

I know that because our immediate families know, the news was going to spread like wildfire.  So, trying to catch those that should know directly from me, I sent them messages letting them know.

It felt good getting a few replies already, and I think they appreciated being told personally.

Tonight, I'm not feeling so hot, so Arthur and I are going to skip Ka'Lea's baptism.  I feel bad, but I also know that pushing myself to get up and out won't make me very happy.  I appreciate that Arthur is ok with staying in tonight.  :)

We're having leftovers from Thanksgiving tonight, which I'm way excited about.  Then we're going to go get a mint chocolate chip shake, my craving of the day.  I actually started craving it last night, but it's not gone away and so I need to eat it soon. 

How far along:  7 weeks, 2 days
How much time left:  32 weeks, 5 days
Top two symptoms:  Headache and body aches.  Today I also felt very out of it.  Blahhhh.

Favorite thing I ate today:  White toast on Grandma Sycamore's bread with strawberry jam.  So good.

Mood:  Because I felt gross, I've been pretty disconnected and frustrated today.  I hope I feel better tomorrow because I have to do my chores and stuff.  Gross. Gross. Gross.  

Worried about:  I still worry about keeping my pregnancy healthy so I don't miscarry.  I know that every day I progress, that I'm getting closer to when I'm in the "safer zone".  The second trimester means that my chances of miscarrying are lowered significantly.  I'm looking forward to that time, for sure. 

Excited for:  Something totally random!  I told my cousin Andrea, who is married to my cousin Justan that I'm pregnant.  She offered to knit me a newborn hat!  I was so happy to hear she wanted to do that!  I will have to think of a cute idea to have her knit.  I think I'll wait to find out the gender first.  :)

Announcement Thursday and Friday!

Happy Black Friday!  By the clock, it's actually almost 1:00 AM on Saturday morning, but to me it's still Friday because I haven't gone to bed yet.  It's a wonder that I'm still awake!

I didn't get to blog yesterday because it was such a crazy Thanksgiving day.  Arthur and I woke up early and he started cooking around 8:30 AM.  He cooked straight through until everyone arrived at our house, around 4:00 PM.

I am a terrible cook, so I didn't do much of anything to prepare the food.  What I did was clean.  I cleaned the family room, the living room, the bathrooms and the dining room.  It was a joint effort in that way.  I can't even imagine what it would be like to have to do all of the cooking and cleaning by myself.  I admire my mother-in-law and my mom even more now after seeing how much work goes into one Thanksgiving dinner.

Arthur was a rockstar.  He cooked a 24 pound turkey, mashed potatoes, two kinds of gravy, two kinds of green bean casserole, 4 kinds of stuffing, sweet potato yams, corn, cranberry sauce and 7 different kinds of pies.  Everything was from scratch.  He never sat down once, all day.  He cooked straight through the day.  His only break was to take a shower, and during that time I helped him by watching the potatoes to make sure they didn't boil over.

Dinner was delicious and we had a big group.  It was Arthur's family, including his mom, his dad, his brother Eli, his sisters Sunny and Autumn, his Great Aunt Joan, and his mom's friend from work, Patrick.  Arthur is taking the picture so he's not in it.  Here's our Thanksgiving table:

After dinner, we played a game with the group.  We played Scribblish.  It's a really fun drawing game.  After the game we were either going to play Settlers of Qatan or watch Arthur Christmas downstairs.  I asked if we could take a family picture in front of the tree.  I also asked Patrick (the visitor) if he could take the picture.  I showed him how to use the camera, and I went downstairs with the group.  He took a couple of practice pictures and then it was time for our big reveal.  :)

The first picture is right after two practice shots.  Arthur said "Ok, this one is the real one... everybody say... 'GENEVIEVE'S PREGNANT!'  It hadn't sunk in just yet, but the pre-reaction is helpful to compare the other reactions to.  Thank goodness Patrick was good at photography, because he kept snapping shots and got a bunch of great reaction photos.  

Everyone was thrilled.  It was a great way to document the announcement, and I really loved how happy everyone was.  Arthur's mom cried, and we were excited most to tell her because our due date is her birthday (July 11).

After we told everyone, we sat around for a little while and I answered the normal questions like whether or not I am sick.  It was fun talking about it really openly.

All-in-all it was a great day.

Today I couldn't get up to go Black Friday shopping because I was too exhausted from the day before.  I slept in and lounged around the whole day.  I spent a little bit of time working on my picture frame for my mom.  I printed out a picture of each grandchild when they were less than 6 months old.  I put them each in a picture frame with 4 windows.  In the bottom right corner window, I put a picture of the words "July 11".  Arthur and I wrapped it up and we took it to her this evening.

After we went to Chili's for dinner, everyone was gathered in the living room.  I gave my mom the present and she opened up the frame.  She looked at it for a minute and couldn't understand what the "July 11" meant.  She asked me "What's July 11?  Are you expecting?"  It then hit her and she started screaming.  I looked around at everyone's reaction, and everyone was freaking out.  Adrienne and Leo started to cry and I got up and hugged everyone.  They were all so surprised.  Adrienne was screaming and cheering, she was so happy.  My  mom was also very happy, and was crying.

Brielle and Adam were freaked out because everyone was so happy.  It was great to be able to tell my family because I have been so ready to share the news.  :)

I didn't get any pictures of their reactions because it wasn't really the time or the place to take a bunch of pictures... but the memories are there, and that's what matters.

It turns out that my sister was really sick with Brielle, for her first pregnancy.  She said she also had headaches.  It's comforting to know that she went through those things too.  When we asked Brielle if I was having a girl or a boy, she said I was having a girl.  She also said that I wasn't having twins, just one.  It was cute to hear Brielle get all excited.  I got more hugs from her tonight than I've ever had.  I loved it.

My mom also called my Grandma Frazer (her mother) and I got to tell her.  My mom also called my Aunt Zebby and told her.  It was cool to know that my family knows.  I'm not going to announce it on Facebook, because I really don't think it's the place for me to tell people.  I will probably tell people individually, as the opportunities come up.  I'm not an extremely public person, so the individual method will have to be what it is.

The announcements were a success overall.  :)

How far along:  7 weeks, 1 day
How much time left:  32 weeks, 6 days
Top two symptoms:  Headache and exhaustion.  I took a lot of Tylenol yesterday because my headache was so bad.  My nausea can be controlled by eating.  Exhaustion comes in with not getting enough sleep and feeling generally gross in the morning when I first wake up and not being able to go back to sleep.  :\

Favorite thing I ate today:  Leftover mint chocolate Oreo pie!!  Yummo!

Mood:  Calm, not overly emotional.  I have been able to keep my emotions in check pretty well these past few days. 

Worried about:  Keeping this pregnancy healthy so I can make it to my due date.  Now that I've told everyone, I feel an extra pressure to make sure that I'm not miscarrying.  I know it's completely out of my control, but I can still focus on the positive things I can control, such as my diet and activity level.

Excited for:  Christmas.  Everyone talked about gift ideas when we told them today - and it was fun to think about some of the different things we might get for the baby.  :)  Hurray!!!

Wednesday "Friday"

Three day work week!  Since Thanksgiving is tomorrow, and I get the day after off, it's a short work week.  I worked from home this morning and this afternoon I'm going to help Arthur go shopping for food for tomorrow's Thanksgiving dinner since we're having it at our house.  I'm really excited for the food! 

I didn't get a chance to blog yesterday.  It was a pretty normal day, nothing out of the ordinary.  The good news was that my headache didn't bug me at all during the day, probably because I was able to eat some chocolate and keep it under control.  I still didn't take the medication that was prescribed to me, since I really haven't needed it.  I'm pretty proud of myself for powering through it and keeping my mind focused on the positive.

I found out this morning that I didn't get the job.  I am ok with it, because I was really stressed about how I would have balanced maternity leave with this really stressful position.  I feel like my preparation was not like I would have liked it to be, and I think my stress may have shown through.  It's ok.  I'm going to focus on the positive side, that I didn't have to make a decision and that I can look forward to other opportunities that come up in the next few months.  I can also stop stressing about how I would work a new job against my upcoming December schedule.  It would have been crazy!  I really do like what I do and I'm sad that I feel like I have to look for something different.  But unfortunately, I do.

How far along:  6 Weeks, 6 days - 7 weeks tomorrow!!
How much time left:  33 weeks, 1 day
Top two symptoms:  Terrible, horrible, no good bloating and nausea.  It's dumb that as soon as my headache went away that the bloating dropped in.  Ugh!!!

Favorite thing I ate today:  A tomato!  With salt!  It was so good!

Mood:  Normal.  A little annoyed at my bloating and a little frustrated that I didn't get the job, but overall - I'm ok. 

Worried about:  Getting my announcement stuff ready before tomorrow and Friday to let my family and Arthur's family know I'm pregnant.

Excited for:  Arthur's mom is coming over tonight and I'm excited to make pies with them.  I love to eat pie, I'm just not sure how much I will love making them!  I'm sure it will be a blast.  :) 

UnFunMonday

Happy Monday!  Today was really long.  I had a fairly relaxing weekend, and to have to get up and go back to work... it was tough.  I got to work around 8:00 and had a few meetings in the morning.  Around 9:30 or so, my head pressure issue was getting worse already for the day.  I chatted with my friend who suggested I just call my OB/GYN to see if I should be worried. 

When I called, the nurse said that it wasn't normal, and that I should be checked for high blood pressure.  She asked if I could come in today.  I told her I could take a long lunch, and that I could be there by 11.  She was able to get me in, no problem. 

I left work around 10:15 to get there by 11.  When I checked in, they told me to pee in a cup.  I guess they wanted to see if I really was pregnant.  After I did that, the nurse came in and said that I was pregnant.  It made me laugh, because obviously I know.  :)

She took my weight, I've gained about 10 pounds since I found out I was pregnant.  I think the weight gain is normal.  She said I shouldn't worry too much about it in the first trimester.

She also took my blood pressure and told me I was on the lower range of normal.  It felt good to hear that, knowing that my efforts to eat better had paid off since the last time I went in. 

She took me to another room and I waited for the Dr.  He came in and told me congratulations as well.  He asked me how my symptoms were and thanks to this blog, I was able to tell him exactly when I started to have the head pressure and nausea.  He said that since it wasn't my blood pressure, then it was probably the hormones.  He prescribed me with Fioricet, which is a mixture of caffeine, Tylenol and Butalbital, which is a barbiturate.  I have not been eating any chocolate, or having any caffeine of any kind, so it kind of scared me that he wanted me to take it.  I asked him if it's safe and he said yes.  He said that many pregnant women get headaches, and they take this medication and are just fine.  I am still weary and will only take it if it gets absolutely unbearable.  

After my appointment, I kept working through my daily stuff, and my boss came back from a Dr. Appointment as well.  She sat us all down and told us that she is also pregnant, 12 weeks along.  I'll be 7 weeks on Thursday.  It was interesting to see that she had kept it a secret all along, even when I told her that I was pregnant.  She feels it's bad luck to tell people that you're pregnant until you have a heartbeat.  I felt sort of dumb, mostly because I had been so quick to tell her.  But, I had to realize that everyone is different, and I needed to respect that.  Ultimately, I'm glad to have someone else to go through this with.

Because my Dr. told me at my appointment that it was ok to eat chocolate in limited amounts, I had a few Hershey's peppermint bark kisses.  It really helped!  I also had a bit of chocolate on my pumpkin pie tonight and I don't have any head pressure or pain tonight.  It's a miracle!!  Who would have thunk a little caffeine would help!??

How far along:  6 Weeks, 4 days
How much time left:  33 weeks, 3 days
Top two symptoms:  Exhaustion and Nausea.  Thank goodness the head stuff went away.   :)

Favorite thing I ate today:  Pumpkin Pie!  My little brother and his girlfriend made some for their Friendsgiving yesterday, and so I got to eat the leftovers.  So good!

Mood:  Until I got off of work, my mood was cranky.  Even with the good news of the low blood pressure.  Once I got off of work, I felt like I could disconnect and enjoy time at home. 

Worried about:  How I will handle my new ability to have chocolate.  I will have to be really careful and stay away from it if possible.  I will eat some to keep my headaches at bay, however.  ;)

Excited for:  I am excited for our ultrasound on December 14.  I'm looking forward to hearing our baby's heartbeat and knowing that everything is going well.  For now, I have to rely on my symptoms and the fact that my period still hasn't started.  Phew!!

Movie Sunday

It's Sunday!  It's also my day off.  I am feeling better today than I've felt in awhile, but I'm still really tired.  It's chores day, and I'm struggling with getting started.  Mostly because of how tired I am and because of my back hurting.

I went to bed last night at around 11:30 and woke up the first time at 5:30.  I was proud of myself for sleeping for so long.  My normal wake up time is 3 or 4 AM.  I went back to sleep downstairs until 9:00.  I appreciated the few extra hours.

Arthur made me breakfast, and I appreciated that.  That was one of the many reasons why I married him.  He is such an amazing cook, and even if he makes something simple like eggs cooked in bread (called camel eyes), it is absolutely delicious.  While we ate breakfast, we watched a movie, "What To Expect When You're Expecting."

I really enjoyed the movie.  I laughed a lot, and it made me feel less alone on some of the dumb symptoms.  There are like 5 different pregnancy stories, and every one is different.  One person who is adopting, one person who isn't expecting a baby, one person who is trying, one person who is the girl we all hate, etc.  It's fun to watch some of the things that I am always thinking that I think no one else thinks.

After the movie, I started the laundry and since then I've been thinking of starting my chores.  Chores are a bugger.  I'm so tired and I don't feel like moving much at all.  I know that I was like that before I got pregnant, but now it's even harder to get myself going.

So, I took a nap earlier this afternoon for 1 hour.  It was nice to fall asleep and feel like I was more awake for the rest of the day.  So now I'm eating some lunch and I'll then go finish up my chores for the day.

After my chores tonight, Arthur and I will eat dinner and maybe watch Dexter.  It's a new week, and it's a short week since Thanksgiving is going to give me 2 extra days off (Thursday and Friday).  :)  Hurray for paid time off!!  :)

 How far along:  6 Weeks, 3 days
How much time left:  33 weeks, 4 days
Top two symptoms:  Exhaustion and slight head pressure.  It's better today!!  :)

Favorite thing I ate today:  The camel eyes Arthur made me for breakfast.  So good!

Mood:  Today I have felt physically better than I've felt in awhile.  It kind of scared me after we watched the movie today, that I wasn't feeling like crap.  I'm used to feeling awful all day long.  I have been drinking more water, and maybe that's helping.  My mood overall is ok, maybe still a little bit lazy.

Worried about:   The decrease in symptom severity today.  I looked up "symptoms come and go" on some of my pregnancy message boards and it looks like it's pretty normal.  I still worry that if my symptoms go away then I might miscarry.  I am still staying positive. 

Excited for:  I'm really looking forward to eating Thanksgiving Dinner.  Arthur makes the most delicious mashed potatoes and stuffing.  Sometimes he makes me Thanksgiving Dinner during the year with a smaller sized turkey/turkey breast, since he loves it.  I enjoy it even more on the actual day.  I'm also looking forward to shopping on the day after Thanksgiving.  I love going out early and seeing the angry people grabbing stuff and pushing through long lines.  So awesome.

Every other day?

I seem to be trending every other day for my blog updates.  I know I committed to every day, but some days it is really hard to sit down and dedicate this time.  I know how important it is, so I will really try harder this week to blog every day.  I also know that there are going to be a lot of things going on leading up to me telling friends and family that I'm pregnant, so I want to keep this blog updated as much as I can.

Yesterday was Friday, and I had to work all day.  I went in around 8:30 AM and had a bunch of meetings until 1 or so.  My afternoon meetings were cancelled, which was nice.  I had some pretty annoying nausea and head pressure, so I was grateful to go home a bit early at 3:30 PM. 

On Friday night, I drove home and took a nice long nap until about 5:30.  Arthur came home at about 8 with Chinese food.  I wasn't incredibly hungry.  However, I did have this amazing head pressure that wouldn't go away.   I started feeling it about the same time I started feeling the nausea.  It feels like I've got my head saran wrapped to a piece of board and it's wrapped really tight around my head.  I can feel the pressure in my forehead and scalp just pushing up against my skull.  I got kind of scared last night that it was my high blood pressure, or something similar.  I tried to do some deep breathing to calm myself down, and that seemed to help.  I still have the problem today, it just isn't as bad.

Today was my lazy day.  Arthur had to go to work at 6:30 and be there at 7.  I woke up that early and tried to go back to sleep.  I couldn't until a little later in the morning after I'd eaten something.  I usually don't feel nausea right away when I wake up, which is weird considering that morning sickness is called morning sickness because of how early you usually feel it.  I don't start feeling it until I've been awake at least an hour.

I ate a lot today, but only because I felt extra nauseous.  I made myself French Toast, I had a salad with ranch dressing and green peppers.  I also had a peach and some french fries that I made in the oven.  All delicious things.  :)

Tonight we went to my nephew Adam's birthday party.  I took a bunch of really cute pictures.  I'll try to get them up in this entry a little later.  I would do it now, but the camera is far away and I'll need to upload the pictures. 

Tonight I spent some time at Arthur's mom's house and I was trying to help with some legal things that his brother is dealing with.  I really hope it will work out, and I believe it will if his brother gets more involved. 

How far along:  6 Weeks, 2 days
How much time left:  33 weeks, 5 days
Top two symptoms:  Head pressure and nausea.  The head pressure is the worst part. 

Favorite thing I ate today:  The French Toast I made myself for breakfast.  So delicious, and so easy!  Who would have thought I could cook French Toast?!

Mood:  Today I felt good, due to multiple distractions.  Being around people doesn't allow me to dwell on my symptoms.  I need to remember that.

Worried about:   This darn head pressure.  It's driving me crazy.  It never goes away except for when I'm lying down and about ready to sleep. 

Excited for:  Telling my family on Thursday and Friday.  They will all be so surprised!!  :)

I think I might be...

PREGNANT!  My goodness, I never thought I would really have too many symptoms... but I think on week 6, someone slipped me a pregnancy symptom pill.  I am definitely pregnant now.

I didn't get to blog yesterday because we had an activity in the evening with Brielle and Mike after work.  Arthur and I bought tickets to Disney on Ice back in August, and we wanted to take Brielle to it since she loves Princesses these days.  She was so good, and so happy the whole time.  We went to the Cheesecake Factory at City Creek.  Brielle ordered Mac and Cheese, and she loved it.  She was saying "yum, yum, yum!" over and over again.  It was so cute.

Today was a really rough day.  I really struggled to get through it.  It started out rough, even.  I had a terrible dream that I miscarried... and I was so sad when I woke up.  I know that it wasn't real, though... and that brought me peace and comfort to know that I was actually still pregnant.  Even though I wanted this for so long, and tried and wished and hoped... I didn't really think through the other stuff that comes with it.  I know that when I wasn't pregnant, I told myself that I would embrace any symptom or event that came with it.  I obviously underestimated my ability to stay sane about it.  :)  I just have to keep focusing on the positive and it will all turn out ok.

Today was also rough for other reasons... I had some insecurity issues, some worries about not being liked, and some worries about whether or not I was a good enough friend.  I always think that certain childhood feelings of being left out, or being taken for granted would go away as an adult, and they don't.  I just have to remember that I am not in control of everything, and I have to focus on what I am able to be a part of.

My biggest struggle today aside from not feeling good enough, was feeling physically gross.  I was exhausted, had a headache, and was dealing with a mental block that was almost too big to see past.  I realized that I needed to take a break and so on my lunch I went out and took a nap in my car.  It helped a lot.  I was able to finish up my day OK.

How far along:  6 Weeks TODAY!!
How much time left:  34 Weeks
Top two symptoms:  Today I will pick three because I had 3.  Mental block, exhaustion and nausea in that order.  I tried to snack on saltines and beef jerky throughout the day and that really helped my nausea.  The mental block thing has got to go, though.  I also fought to keep my eyes open most of the day. 

Favorite thing I ate today:  A doughnut from 711 and a slurpee.  I needed a sugar boost after my nap because otherwise, I wasn't going to make it through the day.

Mood:  Today I was G-R-U-M-P-Y.  With all capital letters.  It was awful.  I really tried to stay positive, but being so grumpy didn't allow me to focus on much of anything aside from the stuff that was making me mad.  I will make a conscious effort to be happy tomorrow, and not grumpy.  :)

Worried about:   Thanksgiving at my house.  It's going to be a lot of stress, and I hope that I make it through the day.  Arthur and his mom will probably cook the most part of the meal and I might be able to help with a few things... also, I'll probably spend the day cleaning.  I'm *so glad* I have Thanksgiving and the day after off. 

Excited for:  This trimester to pass.  I am really looking forward to December 14, which is when I will get to hear my baby's heartbeat the first time.  And right now, I'm excited for sleep.  ;)

Death by Nausea

I think the morning (or night) sickness is starting to get real. Oh boy. Where are my saltines!?!?!

x___x

2 days late and a meal short

I haven't blogged in 3 days.  I feel terrible.  Sunday and Monday were such busy days for me, I didn't have a chance to sit down and blog. 

I think I'll give the Campbells Soup version of my past two days so I can get caught up.  

On Sunday, I spent the day doing chores and preparing for an interview I had on Monday.  The job is for an Instructional Designer on the training team.

On Monday, I had the interview.  It went ok.  Afterwards, I didn't feel super excited about how it went, or super bad.  I feel like it went the way it should have gone, and that gave me peace.  If I make it through to the next round, I will have an interview next week. 

After work, Arthur and I went to Shane Co. to get my ring.  We dropped it off on Saturday to have it cleaned.  It was so sparkly!  I've never had it cleaned before, and I've had it for 4 1/2 years. 

Today has been good, not too busy.  I've appreciated the extra time to get some stuff done.  I only had a few meetings and a couple of interviews for people who were applying for our team. 

How far along:  5 Weeks, 5 days
How much time left:  34 Weeks, 2 days
Top two symptoms:  Nausea and Exhaustion.  Today my nausea has been over the top.  I have been getting hungry every 10 minutes or so after I eat.  And it isn't like how I normally feel, where I'm just munchy... it's like a pit in my stomach that makes me want to eat as many things as I can get my hands on.  I thought for sure that cravings and hunger were a myth, but they're not.  I kept telling myself that I was grateful to have these pregnancy symptoms because it means that everything is still ok down there.  :)  Exhaustion has been ridiculous today...  I had to take a nap at lunchtime in my car to feel normal the rest of the day.  :(

Favorite thing I ate today:  Apple slices that my friend Ashley gave me.  They saved the nauseous day!

Mood:  Today my mood was slightly annoyed and frustrated with how I was feeling.  I almost feel like my head is nailed to a piece of wood and I can feel this constant, dull pressure.  That led how I felt the whole day.  I tried to be really positive though, because I know that this is what I've been wanting for so long. 

Worried about:   I'm telling my family in a week that I'm pregnant.  Although I'm excited, I realized that it's coming very fast.  I need to prepare for it.  I also worry about the way I'm feeling physically.  I know that it's normal, but I wish that I had some reassurance from a doctor that I'm ok.  *sigh*

Excited for:  I'm also excited to tell my family.  I am looking forward to the happy tears and the questions about when, and how far along.  Not a lot of people know right now, and the more people that know, the better.  I like to talk about it, and it's helpful to get the additional hope from others.  I want to talk to others who have been through this first part who can reassure me that it's normal.  I'm not really talking about my symptoms with anyone who has felt this way, so I hope I'm normal.  But, I do appreciate more than anything the support that I have had so far.  Without the few that I have shared this with, I wouldn't have been able to get through it with such positivity.  :)

Caturday Saturday

Today was a really lazy Saturday.  We were both home all day and didn't get much accomplished.  We did do some wrapping and that was really fun.

We were supposed to go to my nephew's first birthday party today and we couldn't because everyone was sick at my sister's house.  I was a little sad because Arthur and I had made him his first birthday cake.  Since we couldn't go up, Mike is going to eat it tonight and we're going to put a candle on it and take his picture.  That will be fun.

Here is a picture of the cake:

While Arthur and I were wrapping today, we played with a ribbon with KitKat.  It was really cute.  She is such a good cat.  She never gets mean, and she just licks your fingers if you pet her.  :)

Later this afternoon, I was sitting on my couch in my office, and Arthur came in to join me.  He asked me if he could sit by me, so I cleared a spot for him.  He asked why I hadn't opened up my Eric Carle books, and I told him I was saving them for when our baby is here.  He said he wanted me to read the Hermit Crab one, so I did.  Out loud.  He said he loved it when he was little, so I did it.  You could tell he enjoyed hearing me read a kid's book.  It was a fun moment, and it made me look forward to having those moments with a baby with us too.

Tonight, Arthur is making Pineapple Curry and Pad Thai.  It's my favorite meal.  So good!

Tomorrow is chore day and also I need to prepare for an interview I have on Monday.  I'm not sure if I really want the job because of the added stress and the additional time I'll have to take off to have my baby.  I'm still debating whether or not I'll bring it up in the interview.

If I do get the job, it would be a great opportunity, and a raise.  Who doesn't like a raise?!

How far along:  5 Weeks, 2 days
How much time left:  34 Weeks, 5 days
Top two symptoms:  Exhaustion x 2

Favorite thing I ate today:  I haven't eaten it today, but when I do, it will be Pad Thai.  *DROOL*

Mood:  My mood was good today, but mostly because I was so tired, I struggled to feel super happy.  I think I've felt closer to Arthur today than I've felt in awhile.  I think it's because I had that bad dream last night and I never want to feel that angry at him. 

Worried about:   I hope my exhaustion isn't related to something that is wrong with my baby.  I am sure it's normal, since I read everywhere that exhaustion is just a part of the first trimester.  I'm also a little worried about my job interview and how it could affect my world if I get the job.

Excited for:  As I was decorating the cake for baby Adam last night, I kept thinking about what I would do for my baby's first birthday.  I'll probably do it inside/outside since it's going to be in July.  We might even do a combined party for the July birthdays... but I would prefer to have our own party so my baby can eat a whole cake by themselves.  :)

Bad dream

This morning, Arthur needed to get up to go to work by 7:30 AM.  It snowed all night and we have at least 5 inches outside.  I woke up at 7:10 and realized that his alarm didn't go off an hour earlier like it was supposed to since it's a Saturday and it's just set for weekdays.  Because of the snow and because of his bald tires, he decided not to go in.  We both went back to sleep.  I am cursed with this problem of not being able to go back to sleep once I'm up... and so I was skeptical that I'd be able to do it.

I heard a loud chirp sound as I was going back to sleep and realized it was the fire detector with a low battery.  I told Arthur I wasn't going to be able to sleep until he fixed it.  He got up and fixed 3 different detectors that were beeping.  Bless his tired heart.  He has been achy too, because he spent his whole day off moving his cousin from her apartment to her house.  He actually packed up and moved everything for her, and had a little bit of help, but did most of it himself.  Because it's family, he's obviously not going to ask for any money.

So he had to work all day on his lieu day so he could work all day today.  He's still hurting this morning and so I felt bad asking him to climb to the ceiling to get the smoke alarms... but they drive me nuts when they're going off.

We were both able to drift off to sleep after the fire alarms were fixed.  I was dreaming that Arthur was buying all of this weird home decor, like wall paintings, and wallpaper, and paint.  In my dream, he completely remodeled the kitchen with a pepper/tomato theme.  I kept asking him why and he just kept giving me dumb answers like "You shouldn't be asking that.  I can remodel if I want.  It's my house too."  I couldn't believe it, because I would never consider doing something that drastic with talking to him first.

The next part of my dream I kept noticing all of these things that I didn't recognize... receipts, other random purchases that I didn't know about.  In my dream, he was sitting on a couch cutting up something paper, and I noticed he had an iPad Mini on his lap.  I asked him if he bought that.  He said yes.  I also noticed an iPad 3.  I asked him if it was his.  He said yes.  So he had purchased all of these expensive things without even telling me.  We had recently cashed in my stock and so I couldn't understand why he'd buy these things and not tell me about it, especially since it came from my stocks.

I got so angry in my dream, I yelled at him, and I even swore at him.  I think my anger came from somewhere completely unrelated to electronics and home remodeling.  I think that I was frustrated because he wasn't communicating with me.  And I really can't handle these kinds of things at all.  I know my body was processing through some unknown stress, but it was awful to feel so angry at him.  He has gotten really good at talking to me about big purchases and I have gotten really good about letting some little things go.  It's the balance that comes with marriage.

I think I worry that this could affect me later on when I have a child... when we really do need the money and must communicate about things like this.  He obviously is not going to do anything like this, but it was still scary.  The feelings were real and so I know that I needed to deal with them.

Ultimately, I have to look at the dream in a positive way.  My cousin Ashley once told me that we have bad dreams so we can appreciate how good things actually are.  When I compare how I felt in that dream to how I feel normally, there is no comparison.  I don't deal with those emotions in real life because he has gotten better at communicating with me.

I have more to blog about, so I'll do that later on, but I just needed to get this off my chest.

All is well, I'm awake and I've escaped my dream.  Maybe I can have a nap later today.  :)