Love Is......

Happy 3-year anniversary for Adam and me!!  I can't believe it's been three years.  I can't believe the stuff we've been through in our relationship (ups and downs).  When I was just a little sophomore in college, riding home from Falls Creek with this guy that was easy to talk to and very genuine, I never imagined he'd be my husband!  And I'm SO THANKFUL that he is!

Each year that goes by our love gets deeper.  This year has brought a lot of changes, and a deeper understanding of our relationship because:

If you know me at all, you know I'm generally fiercely independent.  That doesn't always fare so well in marriage, but pregnancy helped teach me that sometimes I need to ask for help and let go of some control, ok I need to let go of a lot of control. Ok FINE I need to let go of all control.  It's not about me.  There were days I couldn't even make myself eat because I was seriously so tired of even smelling or looking at food, but Adam would make me sit down and he would cook me something healthy and yummy.  He put on my socks and shoes, dropped me off or picked me up at the door from church and other places, took Toby outside for me, drove me everywhere, filled my water jug umpteen times, slept on the couch, kept the apartment cold, made sure I was doing stretches and exercises, or not overdoing my days, told me I didn't look fat but beautiful and pregnant. He kept an open mind and prayed about every decision we made regarding pregnancy and the birthing process and really played a vital part throughout the whole thing, no matter how anxious he was about the process.

Birthing a child brings an intimacy in your relationship like you wouldn't ever experience otherwise, as I'm sure all you parents out there know.  Man, he timed contractions for me, sat with me and coached breathing for HOURS, filled my water jug, tried to make me eat so I could have energy (wish I had done more of that), cleaned up puke (I have a totally new love for him after this moment), told me I could do it when I told him I couldn't, talked to our midwife when I was in the zone of concentration during labor, drove me to where we needed to go when I was laboring (twice), and endured more emotions than he probably imagined, but did it with such love, strength, and a servant-heart.  

What a blessing this guy is!!!  I love you and love our life together!  I look forward to what the next year will bring!

Three Months

This month has been C.R.A.Z.Y. It's almost time for a 4 month post.  But here are a few shots of Noah around 3 months.  

 Hello Adam!  Er, I mean Noah!

I almost forgot to take pictures that day, so this was right before bed in his little Pokes Pajamas:

This one says to me, "Momma, I am going to keep you busy when I am more mobile!!  You better watch out!  You just thought I was busy in your tummy!"

This one was after like a gajillion photos.  He's saying, "Mom, seriously. Enough's enough already.  What the heck is this monkey doin' in my bed?"

Noah is getting to be more fun each day!  At three months he was getting better at tummy time, though he still didn't like it, he was very drooly and everything started going to the mouth.  He also started to track things a lot better and recognize Mom and Dad by voice and face!  He still loves bath time, swinging, his play gym, and bouncy seat.  He is on a great schedule and is extremely happy most of the time.  When he's not happy, we usually know his cries well enough to know what they mean, which helps my confidence as a mommy.  Noah sleeps a good 10-11 hours a night, plus 3 naps during the day. Unfortunately, we have to get up super early in the morning, so he does too, so he is usually ready for a nap in the early morning, late morning, and mid afternoon.  He wakes up around 4 and stays up til bed time.  The kid loves his paci still, much to my chagrin, but it's better than the thumb I suppose.  And better than the whole fist, which he does and makes himself gag.  He also is still swaddled (he has a sleep sack) at night, which I will pay for later I'm sure, but when he was born it was cold and I didn't really know how else to keep him warm at night.  Maybe the de-swaddling won't be so bad.......

(Most of this is just for my memory; I'm sure it's underwhelming for everyone else.)

Letting Go

As I mentioned in the previous post, Noah's life verse is Psalm 22:10.  Adam and I pray every day and night for Noah to grow to love Jesus, love God's Word, and love sharing the Gospel boldly. And we pray that he will know Jesus personally at a young age and serve Him gladly all his days.  So that verse really stuck on my heart before Noah was even born.  But lately it has taken on another meaning, and I have a feeling it will be a lesson learned over and over again for the rest of his (my) life.....

I LOVE being a mom; it's the best thing in the whole world.  Everyone says being a mom is hard, but right now it's easy.  I love loving him, serving him, taking care of him, everything.  It's a joy.  I know it won't always be easy, especially when he is stubborn and opinionated, which I'm sure he will be since I am his mom.  The apple never falls very far.  HOWEVER, I have also discovered the hardest thing in the world so far (besides the last 2 weeks of pregnancy-ha!):

LETTING GO.  Now, Noah's only a baby.  I don't have to "let go" in a big, dramatic way like sending him off to Kindergarten, or college, or marriage, or a foreign country or even another city.  But every day I have to let go of control, let go of something as he inches towards independence.  He takes toys from my hand, he plays in the backseat, he goes to the babysitters, he rolls over, and he grows out of his clothes and diapers faster than I prefer.  It makes my heart hurt.  Because I know that I only have him for so long and then I really have to let go.  I want to make the most of these days.  I want to preserve every day.  I want to squish him back down to 8 lbs. and start over because I love this stage so much.  But I can't, and I shouldn't spend my time wishing for what I can't have.  I have to let go.  I have to trust that God is molding him, protecting him, and knows what's best for him (and for me).

No one ever told me that letting go would start at birth and would be the hardest thing in the world, that I would love him so much it hurts down deep in my heart.  It's the hardest thing, but also the greatest JOY at the same time.  And isn't that another lesson in itself?  The greatest things come after hard work and pain.

And all the pain in the world is worth this smile every day:

 Psh!  Whatchoo talkin' 'bout, momma?

Ptttt!  You crazy, momma!

See what I'm talkin' about?  I mean, just in a mere week or two the number of chins and rolls on his arms double or triple!  Each day is a lesson in letting go.  That's probably a good thing for this control freak.

Mother's Day

My first Mother's Day was incredibly special, for 3 reasons.  First, at church we had Parent Commitment Sunday.  It was really neat because there were 3 families in our service that were participating.  Each family had chosen a life verse for their child and it was displayed on the screen, along with 2-3 pictures as each family was prayed over by a chosen person that was special to the family.  Our verse that we have chosen for Noah is Psalm 22:10, which says, "I was given over to You at birth; You have been my God from my mother's womb."  I have constantly prayed this for Noah for months, even before he was born.  I think this is going to be something I pray constantly over his life, for my sake as well.  The church also took professional pictures for us, but I don't feel like scanning them in.  So sorry.  Ok, not really.  I'm just lazy.  Or tired.

Second, my WHOLE family came to visit for the weekend.  My dad, my brother and his wife, Adam's mom and dad, and my mom.  After church on Sunday, we went to eat lunch in the park because we just don't all fit in our little abode.  It was a great day!  Windy, but great!  Noah may have been a *little* fussy in the second picture...it was naptime!

Third, Adam made my day really special by starting a bracelet for me that we can add to for the next few years.  It's kinda like a charm bracelet, but not cheesy like all jr. highish.  It's so nice!  It has a little orange bead on it, that represents meeting at OSU, and a little boy that of course represents Noah.  On a side note, I CANNOT wait to add a graduation cap (mortar board) to it to represent being done with this current phase of life.  :-)

Noah did so well at the commitment service and then he went back to the nursery where the ladies love on him while Adam and I go to church and small groups!  All in all, the weekend was tons of fun and a great memory!