Suzanne and Davey Maughan

Someday, I'll recognize why I'm going through all of these trials at once but right now, it is hard to see the bigger picture.
Davey decided he wants to become an electrician. At first, I was devastated. Then, I got over it and decided this was a good thing and that I knew it'd be something he'd love. Then today he told me the schooling is 4 yrs instead of 2. Bring. On. The. Tears. I've been in stress-out mode tonight and am feeling very angry at him.
When I started crying, I left the room so he wouldnt wake up but of course, he did anyway and came out to ask me what's wrong. I knew when I told him he would get defensive which is exactly what happened and then we had a big fight.
I just dont get it. Sometimes I don't like him anymore. I look at him and cant see the things I used to love about him. All I can see is the anger and hurt he's brought me and the failed jobs/career choices. When I think of him possibly never really being successful, I get so worried about our lives and what is going to happen. Are we going to be living at the poverty line forever? Will we be able to have enough money to sometimes give to others someday? That was the original plan and right now, I just feel like the tunnel is really dark and that the light at the end doesn't exist.
Every couple of years, that light tricks me into thinking it's getting bigger before it completely turns black and I have to get used to our new decisions. Why cant he just stick with something and figure it out?
As much as I hate divorce and the stupid 50% divorce rate, sometimes I just feel like giving up. Even though I shouldn't compare, it's hard not to see other men having their lives figured out and providing for themselves or their families. It took me 2.5 years after becoming a mother to even get to stay home with my kids and no that I do, it's hard to feel like maybe I'm the one who should still be providing because he cant figure it out.
I know I love him. It's just that sometimes I don't like him. I don't like the way he treats me and only sees the bad in what I'm saying. I hate when he tells me I'm a rude person and that I never say anything nice. Is that true? I feel like I try so hard to be a good person and I see the way he lives (not always strong in the gospel) and it hurts so deeply to hear him judging my character. Shouldn't he know me well enough to know I am a good person? Or does he only take the bad and see it the way he wants to see it?
I just feel so depressed right now. I hate feeling like a bad person but tonight, that's what he's made me feel like. Why can't he have more sensitivity to my feelings?

Someday, when I'm sad about not getting pregnant, I can come look at this post and say, "Oh that's right. We don't have another baby because we are already screwed up and cant handle more right now!" Oh how I wish we didnt have these tense situations with each other. I wanted to try and get along better and be nicer but he doesn't really seem to care about anything but work, his brothers, and Ryan. Where do I fit into all of that?