It's been a while since I posted. Five months, specifically. I haven't forgotten about the blog but somehow, while we were stateside, I quickly lost motivation to post anything to the blog. The blog was mainly to keep family and friends informed in our lives but we were there experiencing life alongside family and friends. No need to report anything to them. Now, we're back overseas and reports should continue.
I'm tired a lot these days. I'm not sure if Blaize is in some sort of sleep regression or his reflux medicine has stopped working or what but he's been waking often at night. And it's okay. I don't mind feeding him and he always goes directly back to sleep. Those nights of interrupted sleep have started to have an cumulative effect. It can kill your motivation, energy, and your ability to complete or even make a coherent thought. So that's why I really don't have anything to post because my brain is zapped besides being unmotivated. I know that will eventually come to an end but only to a degree. My mind will always be running 100 miles an hour keeping track of thousands little details concerning the children while multitasking - how much processed food has Ava eaten in the last few -- wait, I just saw a marker in Darcy's hand. No, Darcy, no markers. Pick that up, Ava. Oh, there's a spill - now where did I put that rag to clean up the spill - WHAT is that unidentifiable puddle? Uh-oh, what time is the baby's supposed to go down for a nap -- oh, he's drenched in his own spit-up. I need an outfit for him -- hey, there's the tube of ointment I've been looking for. What was I doing again? That's right, getting an outfit for....who? I forget. The baby needs a nap, oh man, he's drenched....wait, that's who I was getting an outfit for -- hey, Ava put Darcy on the potty for me! And it goes on.
So, I feel uninteresting because not much else occupies my mind. I'm just tired. I haven't forgotten the blog. I haven't forgotten you. I'll write as soon as some of my brainpower has been released to think about other things besides the management of my children and home.
Saturday, February 28, 2015
Tuesday, September 30, 2014
Processing
It's been two months since we arrived in the States. I arrived weary and nearly burned out. I was emotionally and spiritually dry. In the last month, all the stress that I was carrying gushed away from me like huge, roaring waterfall. Finally, true rest. I'm no longer at rock bottom but I'm not out of the valley either. I'm no longer very stressed but I'm not completely replenished. It's only been two months. It looks like it will take more time to rest and heal.
The resting and healing requires me to process, analyze, and understand what was happening during our three years overseas. I have a strong tendency to analyze so I look at the whole term and see that it was challenging, made us grow, and we had good times, too. It was the third year was the hardest, the darker of the term. I can pinpoint exactly when things started going downhill and I can also point to a few things that contributed to it but it's really one big, hazy blur. I don't really want to explain or describe it right now because I am still figuring it all out.
A book that I am reading is helping me to think this through. It has been an eye opener. It's called Expectations and Burnout for women who work and live overseas. It validates my experience and what I am feeling. I am not alone in this. One helpful part of the book is that it describes the symptoms of exhaustion and burnout, the difference between exhaustion and burnout. I was shocked when I realized I was experiencing those symptoms and was very close to burnout if not already burned out. I understood my sudden insomnia in that third year, the lack of interest in food and very slow weight gain in pregnancy, why the vacations we took to try and recover didn't help, my obsessive need to escape from stress into TV shows on Netflix to the point of idolatry (which I repented of and cut subscription to Netflix), and many other symptoms. I came to the point that I had no emotional energy to invest in relationships, was dreading interaction, didn't want to see anyone, etc. I was just too empty. Hopefully now that I understand the symptoms, I can wisely watch out for them next time.
Right now, with prayer, Scriptures, and this book's help, I'm hope to understand what was and still is happening. I have questions that I need answered. One thing I am being reminded of is that none of it was a waste. All the suffering, stress, struggling was not meaningless, no matter whether it was brought on by myself, by my company, or by God. 2 Corinthians 4:7-10 and 16-17, "But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies...so we do not lose heart...for this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison..."
This is light and momentary. There is an eternal weight of glory being prepared that we cannot even begin to imagine. And so we do not lose heart, we do not lose hope.
All in all, I hope to return to our next term with realistic expectations (as the book will help me adjust), knowing my limits and how to function within my limits while leaning on God, and refreshed in the Lord to the point of overflowing. That's my hope and prayer.
In the meantime, I'm resting without feeling guilty about it. We're all resting. I can sit on the couch and rest without feeling the self-condemnation and relentless drive to be productive. We stay busy but it's a nice sort of busy. We're enjoying stress-free time with the girls and anticipating the baby boy's arrival. We are doing fun things, enjoying America. We enjoy the house that we are in - the creaky, quirky, lovely 1950s farmhouse nestled between a couple of ancient, giant oak trees. The yard around the house is spacious and a tire swing entertains the girls. We like to sit on a couple of rocking chairs on the porch. We are being well taken care of by the sweet church that is hosting us. They are directly across the street and they also have a preschool that they've graciously allow Darcy to attend for free three mornings a week. She loves it. We attend their 8:30 service on Sunday mornings and will now start regularly going to the second service at our home church, just 25 minutes away. Our home church gave us a joyful, glad welcome when we first visited which was a balm to our hearts. How we love our church. It's so nice to worship there without feeling odd as if we didn't belong. We are reconnecting with old friends and they encourage us so much with their conversation naturally seasoned and overflowing with spiritual truths, reminding us once again who God is.
Here we are. God is good.
The resting and healing requires me to process, analyze, and understand what was happening during our three years overseas. I have a strong tendency to analyze so I look at the whole term and see that it was challenging, made us grow, and we had good times, too. It was the third year was the hardest, the darker of the term. I can pinpoint exactly when things started going downhill and I can also point to a few things that contributed to it but it's really one big, hazy blur. I don't really want to explain or describe it right now because I am still figuring it all out.
A book that I am reading is helping me to think this through. It has been an eye opener. It's called Expectations and Burnout for women who work and live overseas. It validates my experience and what I am feeling. I am not alone in this. One helpful part of the book is that it describes the symptoms of exhaustion and burnout, the difference between exhaustion and burnout. I was shocked when I realized I was experiencing those symptoms and was very close to burnout if not already burned out. I understood my sudden insomnia in that third year, the lack of interest in food and very slow weight gain in pregnancy, why the vacations we took to try and recover didn't help, my obsessive need to escape from stress into TV shows on Netflix to the point of idolatry (which I repented of and cut subscription to Netflix), and many other symptoms. I came to the point that I had no emotional energy to invest in relationships, was dreading interaction, didn't want to see anyone, etc. I was just too empty. Hopefully now that I understand the symptoms, I can wisely watch out for them next time.
Right now, with prayer, Scriptures, and this book's help, I'm hope to understand what was and still is happening. I have questions that I need answered. One thing I am being reminded of is that none of it was a waste. All the suffering, stress, struggling was not meaningless, no matter whether it was brought on by myself, by my company, or by God. 2 Corinthians 4:7-10 and 16-17, "But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies...so we do not lose heart...for this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison..."
This is light and momentary. There is an eternal weight of glory being prepared that we cannot even begin to imagine. And so we do not lose heart, we do not lose hope.
All in all, I hope to return to our next term with realistic expectations (as the book will help me adjust), knowing my limits and how to function within my limits while leaning on God, and refreshed in the Lord to the point of overflowing. That's my hope and prayer.
In the meantime, I'm resting without feeling guilty about it. We're all resting. I can sit on the couch and rest without feeling the self-condemnation and relentless drive to be productive. We stay busy but it's a nice sort of busy. We're enjoying stress-free time with the girls and anticipating the baby boy's arrival. We are doing fun things, enjoying America. We enjoy the house that we are in - the creaky, quirky, lovely 1950s farmhouse nestled between a couple of ancient, giant oak trees. The yard around the house is spacious and a tire swing entertains the girls. We like to sit on a couple of rocking chairs on the porch. We are being well taken care of by the sweet church that is hosting us. They are directly across the street and they also have a preschool that they've graciously allow Darcy to attend for free three mornings a week. She loves it. We attend their 8:30 service on Sunday mornings and will now start regularly going to the second service at our home church, just 25 minutes away. Our home church gave us a joyful, glad welcome when we first visited which was a balm to our hearts. How we love our church. It's so nice to worship there without feeling odd as if we didn't belong. We are reconnecting with old friends and they encourage us so much with their conversation naturally seasoned and overflowing with spiritual truths, reminding us once again who God is.
Here we are. God is good.
Friday, July 18, 2014
Countdown
Everyone keeps asking us if we're counting down, ready to go to America. I keep thinking what is it that they think that I am so ready for? Do they think I'm so sick of living in another country? I'm not. It's definitely challenging living overseas but you get used to it, it gets easier, and the place becomes home. I love living overseas. I love my city in spite of the smog, crowds, dreadful traffic, kamikaze jaywalkers, dreary winters. I recently saw an angry man haul the driver off the bus I was riding and beat him (#ramadanproblems). That still didn't diminish my love for this place.
Do they think I'm so homesick, longing for America, preferring it over every other country? America is a great country but you get used to not living there. You always miss your family and friends but that's not what America means to me. When I think of America, I think of the great variety in cuisine, orderly traffic, SuperTarget, and the familiarity of knowing what to do in English with ease (go to the doctor, buy a mattress, get your driver's license, etc). My family and some of my friends happen to live there. I miss them but I don't necessarily miss America. So, yes, I am ready to go see them.
At the moment, what I am really ready for is to be out of this transition phase. I began disengaging from work, culture, people about a month ago. It's a normal process of leaving one country and going to another. It's like hanging in limbo and I think that specifically is what I'm ready to be done with. I'm ready to reengage in another country.
So, yes, we are counting down. We have lots to do in the next 7 days. The house is fairly messy and while it's under control, we're putting off cleaning the messes so we can do it all in one fell swoop a couple of days before we leave. We've been washing walls and windows. It's amazing how dirty the walls get here. It's grimy at the 3-foot level because of the kids but entire walls are covered with dirt. I guess it's from living with open windows every summer and breezes bring in the city dirt. We're tying up all sorts of loose ends, completing our medical check-up requirements (I'm in perfect health except for low B12!), sharing iftar (sundown meal to break the fast during Ramadan) with friends and saying all our goodbyes, all the while keeping routine for the girls. Today or tomorrow, I will start packing for the girls and myself. I have a sewing project to finish before taking my machine to a friend for her to babysit and use. I have been sleeping and eating optimally so I'm feeling really amazing.
Speaking of all the things that we need to do, I better get to work. I will be seeing most of you soon.
Do they think I'm so homesick, longing for America, preferring it over every other country? America is a great country but you get used to not living there. You always miss your family and friends but that's not what America means to me. When I think of America, I think of the great variety in cuisine, orderly traffic, SuperTarget, and the familiarity of knowing what to do in English with ease (go to the doctor, buy a mattress, get your driver's license, etc). My family and some of my friends happen to live there. I miss them but I don't necessarily miss America. So, yes, I am ready to go see them.
At the moment, what I am really ready for is to be out of this transition phase. I began disengaging from work, culture, people about a month ago. It's a normal process of leaving one country and going to another. It's like hanging in limbo and I think that specifically is what I'm ready to be done with. I'm ready to reengage in another country.
So, yes, we are counting down. We have lots to do in the next 7 days. The house is fairly messy and while it's under control, we're putting off cleaning the messes so we can do it all in one fell swoop a couple of days before we leave. We've been washing walls and windows. It's amazing how dirty the walls get here. It's grimy at the 3-foot level because of the kids but entire walls are covered with dirt. I guess it's from living with open windows every summer and breezes bring in the city dirt. We're tying up all sorts of loose ends, completing our medical check-up requirements (I'm in perfect health except for low B12!), sharing iftar (sundown meal to break the fast during Ramadan) with friends and saying all our goodbyes, all the while keeping routine for the girls. Today or tomorrow, I will start packing for the girls and myself. I have a sewing project to finish before taking my machine to a friend for her to babysit and use. I have been sleeping and eating optimally so I'm feeling really amazing.
Speaking of all the things that we need to do, I better get to work. I will be seeing most of you soon.
Saturday, July 5, 2014
Personal Touch
One of the things in this culture that I grappled with off and on is the amount of affection and attention lavished on kids, specifically my girls. It's wonderful how much the people here love kids. They really do. Shop owners will give a little treat (piece of fruit, candy, trinket, etc) to a small child. My girls have gotten their fair share. That's not the only sign of affection they display. They will often touch the child, hug him, pinch cheeks, kiss him on the cheeks. And these are perfect strangers on the street, in a store, at the doctor's office, in a restaurant, on a bus. Sometimes they are people in my apartment building, the owners of shops we frequent, people we were familiar with so that's only slightly okay. Physical affection from trusted friends is more acceptable.
I was really uncomfortable with all that when we first moved here because I was unused to it. I especially uncomfortable when the physical affection came from men. If men stopped to talk to Ava on the street, I frequently ushered her on our way discreetly before they could touch her. I don't doubt their intentions are innocent because their display of affection completely acceptable here but I'm super watchful. Then I got used to it well enough but still watchful. There wasn't much of an issue with Ava accepting the signs of affection, whether physical or a gift, until she began to reject and run away from people touching her, men or women, when she turned four. Clearly, she was getting uncomfortable.
I don't mind that she wants to avoid affection from people - whether they be strangers, friends, or relatives. In fact, I've told her that she never has to accept it if she doesn't like it. I refuse to bow to people pleasing and the cultural pressure. I'm unapologetic about it. I don't admonish her for turning down hugs and kisses and I rarely force her to accept them. I don't even apologize for her behavior and if I find people literally chasing her and insisting on giving her a hug or kiss, I step in and shake my head, "No." She does have to speak to them politely when spoken to and she can shake their hands.
The reason I do this is because I never want my girls to lose their sense of comfort with personal touch. I want them to have boundaries for themselves, whether naturally from themselves or we've set for them. I've talked with Ava about people touching her, what parts of her body are not allowed, and who can and cannot touch her (for example, doctors while mom and dad are present but not strangers). My thought is that if I force my girls to accept touch when they are uncomfortable (their discomfort is their warning system of danger), then they are not going to know when the touch is inappropriate and when they can reject it freely. I don't want them to be molested and think they have to tolerate it because they have to accept hugs and kisses from strangers, especially men.
It will be easier for Ava as she grows older. I notice the nationals here don't really grab, hug, and kiss older kids. The attention definitely waned as Ava grew. I know babies and chubby toddlers are hard to resist and kids stop being cute around the age of four (admit it, it's true!). Darcy is in the cute, cuddly, chubby stage and she is even more shy than Ava was at that age. I'm not sure how much her age plays into it and how much of it is personality but she cries if a stranger gets close to her. She screams through check ups at the doctor. Once, a 12-year-old son of our American friends approached her open car window to talk to us while she was strapped in her car seat and she began to look afraid and started reaching for me. She needs a long time to warm up to people. I suspect the cultural norm of lavishing affection on children will be harder for her.
So, a big part of living overseas is integrating into the culture and obeying the cultural rules. There are some things about the culture that I don't like accommodating (such as dressing my kids more warmly than needed because that's what they all do and we get fussed at) but the physical attention aspect is something I don't bend on. It's not worth endangering my children's sense of personal space, personal safety, and personal comfort. They need to obey their sense of danger and urge to flee -- it would probably save their lives.
Once we're in the States, this will probably become an non-issue. Compared to Turkey, America doesn't like kids, especially when you read articles about businesses considering banning kids (such as airlines and restaurants) because of complaints from patrons about rowdy, loud kids. So, for now, we can breathe a sigh of relief while we're on furlough.
I was really uncomfortable with all that when we first moved here because I was unused to it. I especially uncomfortable when the physical affection came from men. If men stopped to talk to Ava on the street, I frequently ushered her on our way discreetly before they could touch her. I don't doubt their intentions are innocent because their display of affection completely acceptable here but I'm super watchful. Then I got used to it well enough but still watchful. There wasn't much of an issue with Ava accepting the signs of affection, whether physical or a gift, until she began to reject and run away from people touching her, men or women, when she turned four. Clearly, she was getting uncomfortable.
I don't mind that she wants to avoid affection from people - whether they be strangers, friends, or relatives. In fact, I've told her that she never has to accept it if she doesn't like it. I refuse to bow to people pleasing and the cultural pressure. I'm unapologetic about it. I don't admonish her for turning down hugs and kisses and I rarely force her to accept them. I don't even apologize for her behavior and if I find people literally chasing her and insisting on giving her a hug or kiss, I step in and shake my head, "No." She does have to speak to them politely when spoken to and she can shake their hands.
The reason I do this is because I never want my girls to lose their sense of comfort with personal touch. I want them to have boundaries for themselves, whether naturally from themselves or we've set for them. I've talked with Ava about people touching her, what parts of her body are not allowed, and who can and cannot touch her (for example, doctors while mom and dad are present but not strangers). My thought is that if I force my girls to accept touch when they are uncomfortable (their discomfort is their warning system of danger), then they are not going to know when the touch is inappropriate and when they can reject it freely. I don't want them to be molested and think they have to tolerate it because they have to accept hugs and kisses from strangers, especially men.
It will be easier for Ava as she grows older. I notice the nationals here don't really grab, hug, and kiss older kids. The attention definitely waned as Ava grew. I know babies and chubby toddlers are hard to resist and kids stop being cute around the age of four (admit it, it's true!). Darcy is in the cute, cuddly, chubby stage and she is even more shy than Ava was at that age. I'm not sure how much her age plays into it and how much of it is personality but she cries if a stranger gets close to her. She screams through check ups at the doctor. Once, a 12-year-old son of our American friends approached her open car window to talk to us while she was strapped in her car seat and she began to look afraid and started reaching for me. She needs a long time to warm up to people. I suspect the cultural norm of lavishing affection on children will be harder for her.
So, a big part of living overseas is integrating into the culture and obeying the cultural rules. There are some things about the culture that I don't like accommodating (such as dressing my kids more warmly than needed because that's what they all do and we get fussed at) but the physical attention aspect is something I don't bend on. It's not worth endangering my children's sense of personal space, personal safety, and personal comfort. They need to obey their sense of danger and urge to flee -- it would probably save their lives.
Once we're in the States, this will probably become an non-issue. Compared to Turkey, America doesn't like kids, especially when you read articles about businesses considering banning kids (such as airlines and restaurants) because of complaints from patrons about rowdy, loud kids. So, for now, we can breathe a sigh of relief while we're on furlough.
Sunday, June 22, 2014
Vacation
Back in April, soon after Ava's 5th birthday, we lit out of the city and headed for southern climes. We took a 9-hr road trip to Kusadasi, an area close to the ruins of Ephesus, where we booked a reservation at an all-inclusive resort at the last minute with a low off-season price. We were desperate for a break from work and from the city itself. Life never seemed to slow down and I think we were coming off some busy, chaotic weeks before we went on vacation.
The road trip was nice as opposed to flying. It was a 9-hr trip but we were accustomed to long trips in the US anyway so 9 hours is similar to 11 or 12 going to Florida from North Carolina. It was a leisurely drive on a scenic route. It was all green hills and mountains with flocks of sheep, horse farms, and olive groves.
There were even produce stands selling oranges on the side of the highway....just like Florida!
We stayed in an apartment that had everything. There were two bedrooms, two baths (one was a full bath and the other was a shower), a salon and dining area, a kitchen completely stocked with kitchenware and nice, modern appliances that put my ancient kitchen appliances to shame. Everything was tastefully done with current decorating fashion.
The resort (golf and spa) is perched on top of a mountain (read: windy) that overlooks a valley on one side and the sea in the distance on the other side. The views are breathtaking. All we did were look at the views and never went sightseeing. The two pictures below are from our balcony:
I mentioned that the resort is a golf and spa resort. Nice arrangement for couples - the husband plays golf all day while the wife pampers herself in the spa. I didn't use the spa since I was pregnant and it was at additional cost. The golf course was beautiful and pretty difficult to play according to reviews. The resort was barely half full as it was off season but it is an enormous property with many pools throughout. It's a time-share resort, all condominiums, with an all-inclusive service that makes you feel like you're at a hotel at the same time. It caters mostly to Europeans and Europeans were all we saw. It's always interesting to vacation with a cosmopolitan body of guests.
The all-inclusive aspect is always nice but in this case, the food left a lot to be desired. We ate to sustain ourselves, not to enjoy the food. That's all I'll say about it. We stocked up on snacks when we went into town so we did enjoy some treats. The neat thing about this resort is that you can stay there without the all-inclusive option (it'd be a bit cheaper) but that meant you were going into town to eat (the town doesn't have much to speak of) or you were cooking in the condo (I'm not cooking on vacation, people!).
The weather was gorgeous, sunny with the temps in the high 60s -- warm enough for those northern Europeans to swim. Not warm enough for me, born and bred in Florida. There was a single "heated" outdoors pool that the guests swam in. I put that in quotation marks because it was still cold - it was simply warmer than the thousand other pools in the vicinity. Greg said it was bearable on sunny days when you stayed submerged but when you got out and were exposed to the winds (unavoidable when you're on a mountaintop), you froze. That was the case with Ava and it was hard to get her warmed up unless we got her into a hot bath inside. She really enjoyed swimming with the older kids, though. Darcy was content to sit with her feet dangling in the water and run around the area. Greg got in a couple of times. I was happy to lie in the sun with a book.
Other than that, all we did was a lot of nothing. We did this:
I forgot that we did play at a playground set onsite. There were basketball courts, tennis courts, and a outdoor chess board with pieces nearly as big as Darcy, which I've never seen before. Greg and I would've had fun playing chess like this if we didn't have two kids to chase after. He'd beat me because he was in the chess club in school -- nerd ;-) -- and I'm terribly rusty.
I also forgot that we did manage a day of sightseeing on the way back to the city. We stopped off in Ephesus since it was on the way and it'd be a terrible oversight not to go there. We spent a few hours there and it was pretty hot. I don't think we managed to see the entire ruins before we got tired and headed back down to the car to continue on our way home. I was still in my first trimester, easy to wear out, and I carried Darcy in the Ergo on my back so that sapped my energy quickly. I won't post pictures because there are easily millions of pictures of the ruins on the internet, mostly better than mine, with a great deal of descriptions of the ruins in modern day, what it must've looked like historically, the culture of that day, the significance of it in the Bible, etc. Too much to put on this blog. I will leave you to browse pictures and read about Ephesus on the internet at your leisure but I will tell you that visiting a place like that in person is much better than reading about it. It's just really cool.
Well, that was our vacation. It was only 4 nights. We did feel much better afterward. We were energized enough to chug along in our work and complete it. So much happened after vacation (the scare with the bleeding, the up and down about whether we were going stateside this summer, etc) so that last-minute vacation before all that was a good timing.
Now, our next vacation will be stateside at the emerald waters of Destin. Can't wait!
PS: If you are still reading the girls' blog, I posted three different posts in a row. Take a look and get caught up. I still need one or two more posts there so keep an eye out.
The road trip was nice as opposed to flying. It was a 9-hr trip but we were accustomed to long trips in the US anyway so 9 hours is similar to 11 or 12 going to Florida from North Carolina. It was a leisurely drive on a scenic route. It was all green hills and mountains with flocks of sheep, horse farms, and olive groves.
 |
| Sheep |
We stayed in an apartment that had everything. There were two bedrooms, two baths (one was a full bath and the other was a shower), a salon and dining area, a kitchen completely stocked with kitchenware and nice, modern appliances that put my ancient kitchen appliances to shame. Everything was tastefully done with current decorating fashion.
The resort (golf and spa) is perched on top of a mountain (read: windy) that overlooks a valley on one side and the sea in the distance on the other side. The views are breathtaking. All we did were look at the views and never went sightseeing. The two pictures below are from our balcony:
 |
| All that golden light was from the sunset, slightly to the right. I did no editing to the colors, only added a halo around the picture which is pretty indiscernible anyway. |
 |
| Same view during day - I edited this picture to sharpen the colors and added contrast to bring the clouds into definition |
I mentioned that the resort is a golf and spa resort. Nice arrangement for couples - the husband plays golf all day while the wife pampers herself in the spa. I didn't use the spa since I was pregnant and it was at additional cost. The golf course was beautiful and pretty difficult to play according to reviews. The resort was barely half full as it was off season but it is an enormous property with many pools throughout. It's a time-share resort, all condominiums, with an all-inclusive service that makes you feel like you're at a hotel at the same time. It caters mostly to Europeans and Europeans were all we saw. It's always interesting to vacation with a cosmopolitan body of guests.
The all-inclusive aspect is always nice but in this case, the food left a lot to be desired. We ate to sustain ourselves, not to enjoy the food. That's all I'll say about it. We stocked up on snacks when we went into town so we did enjoy some treats. The neat thing about this resort is that you can stay there without the all-inclusive option (it'd be a bit cheaper) but that meant you were going into town to eat (the town doesn't have much to speak of) or you were cooking in the condo (I'm not cooking on vacation, people!).
The weather was gorgeous, sunny with the temps in the high 60s -- warm enough for those northern Europeans to swim. Not warm enough for me, born and bred in Florida. There was a single "heated" outdoors pool that the guests swam in. I put that in quotation marks because it was still cold - it was simply warmer than the thousand other pools in the vicinity. Greg said it was bearable on sunny days when you stayed submerged but when you got out and were exposed to the winds (unavoidable when you're on a mountaintop), you froze. That was the case with Ava and it was hard to get her warmed up unless we got her into a hot bath inside. She really enjoyed swimming with the older kids, though. Darcy was content to sit with her feet dangling in the water and run around the area. Greg got in a couple of times. I was happy to lie in the sun with a book.
Other than that, all we did was a lot of nothing. We did this:
 |
| The girls watched too much TV while we read books copiously |
 |
| We napped a lot |
 |
| I think the queen and king were nearly as tall as Darcy. |
Well, that was our vacation. It was only 4 nights. We did feel much better afterward. We were energized enough to chug along in our work and complete it. So much happened after vacation (the scare with the bleeding, the up and down about whether we were going stateside this summer, etc) so that last-minute vacation before all that was a good timing.
Now, our next vacation will be stateside at the emerald waters of Destin. Can't wait!
PS: If you are still reading the girls' blog, I posted three different posts in a row. Take a look and get caught up. I still need one or two more posts there so keep an eye out.
Saturday, June 21, 2014
One Month To Go
As I write this, it's 72 degrees out on a sunny June day, after two or three days of thunderstorms that caused the temperatures to plummet from 80 degrees to 65 degrees. Such strange weather for June. Ava is currently painting three pictures with watercolors while Darcy naps in her dark, cool room under a spinning ceiling fan, and Greg crashed from exhaustion on our bed three hours ago and is still sleeping. It's 2pm and I am savoring the quiet and semi-solitude. Ava just braided my hair, a new skill I taught her recently, and covered my lips neon pink (!) lip gloss that our babysitter gave her.
We just came off a busy two weeks of training two leaders from another country. They were long days, starting around 9:30 and ending around 6pm except one of us ran home around 4:30 to pick up Ava from preschool and to relieve the babysitter, rushing to cook dinner, bathe the girls, and put them to bed. Most days, it was me and I felt like a single mother with a 9-to-5 job, shifting from work mode to home/family mode. I also had to cram in a quick trip to the grocery store nearly everyday to replenish supplies for the baby-sitter and the girls' lunches and snacks, not to mention picking up ingredients for dinner that night. Somehow, laundry got done. It was a blur. Poor Greg did a lot of running to-and-fro for two weeks and that was what made him crash on the bed this afternoon.
It was a great and productive training so we hope that we will be able to see fruit from their efforts as they apply the new "tools" that we gave them. We won't see the leaders that we trained until next spring but hope to Skype with them often until then, to provide support and answers. Technology is a great boon.
Just before training started, we finally finished language study. Finally. We went straight from wrapping it up to training and training just finished yesterday so the fact that we finished language study hasn't sunken in yet.
We have one more month left until we go stateside. I'm so glad that all of our work is done and we can focus on preparations for our trip stateside. A lot of the preparations have to do with getting medical clearance, readying the apartment for a short-term student who will house-sit and work with our co-workers, preparing presentations for stateside, packing, and tying up any loose ends. Hopefully, it will be a relaxing month, instead of fraught with stress and urgency.
As our three-year term drew to a close, I reflected on our term off and on. These three years were full of new experiences, challenges, struggles, frustrations, joys, and tremendous personal/spiritual growth. I think that sums up our term nicely without me waxing long and eloquent about specifics which would surely bore you.
Now, I look ahead to resting stateside for 5-6 months. I'm a bit apprehensive because I remember what it was like to return to the States after 2 years of being away. I remember the struggle to adapt and get used to America again. It was more difficult than I'd expected but I think this time around, I won't be as surprised and may have an easier time of it. I mostly worry about the girls, what the transition will look like for them. Ava doesn't remember the U.S. and Darcy is completely unfamiliar with it.
On a more positive note, I'm looking forward to seeing family and friends, spending time with them, experiencing favorite things and places again. I look forward to fresh Florida seafood, Florida beaches, pork BBQ, shopping for several things in one store (hello, Target!), traffic that is logical and orderly, things that make sense, and some of the conveniences of America. I look forward to enjoying my kids without the pressure of work.
Most of all, I look forward to being spiritually renewed. I hope and pray for that. As we rest, I hope to remember the Father's call on our lives, to remember our vision, to be encouraged and energized. We are weary, not of living overseas, but weary in spirit. We have fed ourselves for so long and I look forward to being fed for a change.
See you all soon.
We just came off a busy two weeks of training two leaders from another country. They were long days, starting around 9:30 and ending around 6pm except one of us ran home around 4:30 to pick up Ava from preschool and to relieve the babysitter, rushing to cook dinner, bathe the girls, and put them to bed. Most days, it was me and I felt like a single mother with a 9-to-5 job, shifting from work mode to home/family mode. I also had to cram in a quick trip to the grocery store nearly everyday to replenish supplies for the baby-sitter and the girls' lunches and snacks, not to mention picking up ingredients for dinner that night. Somehow, laundry got done. It was a blur. Poor Greg did a lot of running to-and-fro for two weeks and that was what made him crash on the bed this afternoon.
It was a great and productive training so we hope that we will be able to see fruit from their efforts as they apply the new "tools" that we gave them. We won't see the leaders that we trained until next spring but hope to Skype with them often until then, to provide support and answers. Technology is a great boon.
Just before training started, we finally finished language study. Finally. We went straight from wrapping it up to training and training just finished yesterday so the fact that we finished language study hasn't sunken in yet.
We have one more month left until we go stateside. I'm so glad that all of our work is done and we can focus on preparations for our trip stateside. A lot of the preparations have to do with getting medical clearance, readying the apartment for a short-term student who will house-sit and work with our co-workers, preparing presentations for stateside, packing, and tying up any loose ends. Hopefully, it will be a relaxing month, instead of fraught with stress and urgency.
As our three-year term drew to a close, I reflected on our term off and on. These three years were full of new experiences, challenges, struggles, frustrations, joys, and tremendous personal/spiritual growth. I think that sums up our term nicely without me waxing long and eloquent about specifics which would surely bore you.
Now, I look ahead to resting stateside for 5-6 months. I'm a bit apprehensive because I remember what it was like to return to the States after 2 years of being away. I remember the struggle to adapt and get used to America again. It was more difficult than I'd expected but I think this time around, I won't be as surprised and may have an easier time of it. I mostly worry about the girls, what the transition will look like for them. Ava doesn't remember the U.S. and Darcy is completely unfamiliar with it.
On a more positive note, I'm looking forward to seeing family and friends, spending time with them, experiencing favorite things and places again. I look forward to fresh Florida seafood, Florida beaches, pork BBQ, shopping for several things in one store (hello, Target!), traffic that is logical and orderly, things that make sense, and some of the conveniences of America. I look forward to enjoying my kids without the pressure of work.
Most of all, I look forward to being spiritually renewed. I hope and pray for that. As we rest, I hope to remember the Father's call on our lives, to remember our vision, to be encouraged and energized. We are weary, not of living overseas, but weary in spirit. We have fed ourselves for so long and I look forward to being fed for a change.
See you all soon.
Monday, May 19, 2014
Spring
Ava and I were baking cookies in the kitchen when I looked out the window into the cloudless, brilliantly blue sky. Then my eyes drifted down and I saw two seagulls on the roof of a building and two little brown, fluffy things. I thought they were pigeons until their small sizes registered...baby seagulls! So cute! I have never seen baby seagulls growing up in Florida and here I am, living in a city, looking at baby seagulls.
You can see one baby seagull in the shadow of the chimney and the other baby seagull waddling away underneath the satellites. I assume the adult seagull is their mommy or daddy because the babies keep close to him/her. It fills my heart with gladness at the sight of renewal, birth, and hope.
We had a long spell of cold, rainy days recently that made it look like spring had retreated but now, the days are bright and wonderfully warm in the sun and cool in the wind. These are the beautiful days before the heat comes so we're hoping to take every advantage of it.
Last week, I returned to my OB (Greg and the girls came to see the baby on the ultrasound) for a follow up and she found that I actually have a hematoma, not placenta previa. She had originally thought it was a hematoma but couldn't find it two weeks ago. Since she couldn't find the hematoma, all other signs were pointing to placenta previa although she told me later that bleeding from placenta previa doesn't happen that early in pregnancy so she was perplexed when she settled on the placenta previa diagnosis. My OB was happy to find the hematoma, which is a blood clot, directly opposite of the placenta so the hematoma is no danger to the baby. We were glad to see the baby kicking away, twisting around, turning his head, wriggling his arms. And he's still a boy :-)
I asked my OB what caused hematomas and she said no one really knows. She said her best guess, and there's no possible way to confirm this, was that I was beginning to have a miscarriage and for some reason, it abruptly stopped. The hematoma was the result of a trauma, the miscarriage itself. Greg and I wondered over it afterward. What stopped the miscarriage in its tracks, if it were indeed a miscarriage in the process? Or should we say Who?
It seems the danger is less with this hematoma (despite its 6cm size) in its harmless location than when it was thought that I had placenta previa. My placenta is still pretty close to my cervix but it's definitely moving up and away. A good sign. The baby is strong and healthy. Another good sign. There is no reason not to expect a normal pregnancy and birth. I'm still on bed rest, albeit a light one. I still can't go running, can't exercise (no yoga or Pilates, not that I do them anyway), can't lift heavy things, heavy chores, etc. I can do my normal chores like picking up, cooking, sweeping, etc. They don't require much exertion. Air travel with a hematoma is still a question, though.
We have about 9 weeks until we're supposed to go stateside for a few months. Hopefully, we will be able to go. I have to admit that I'm mentally checking out, especially being on bed rest and having to stay close to home and the hospital. I'm doing less so I have more time to think and often, my thoughts turn to the future, wondering if we will go home in July or not. I don't think I really care when we go home, as long as the baby is safe, but I would rather know now than to keep wondering. I will be disappointed if we're advised to stay here but we are consulting with other medical professionals with my company so we will see.
Life is good. It's spring and turning into summer. I love my city best during the spring and summer. The baby is safe. My girls are healthy. I have a good husband. We will see family and friends stateside soon. God is on his throne.
For now, the days slip by "like golden beads on the necklace of the year." I'm thankful.
You can see one baby seagull in the shadow of the chimney and the other baby seagull waddling away underneath the satellites. I assume the adult seagull is their mommy or daddy because the babies keep close to him/her. It fills my heart with gladness at the sight of renewal, birth, and hope.
We had a long spell of cold, rainy days recently that made it look like spring had retreated but now, the days are bright and wonderfully warm in the sun and cool in the wind. These are the beautiful days before the heat comes so we're hoping to take every advantage of it.
Last week, I returned to my OB (Greg and the girls came to see the baby on the ultrasound) for a follow up and she found that I actually have a hematoma, not placenta previa. She had originally thought it was a hematoma but couldn't find it two weeks ago. Since she couldn't find the hematoma, all other signs were pointing to placenta previa although she told me later that bleeding from placenta previa doesn't happen that early in pregnancy so she was perplexed when she settled on the placenta previa diagnosis. My OB was happy to find the hematoma, which is a blood clot, directly opposite of the placenta so the hematoma is no danger to the baby. We were glad to see the baby kicking away, twisting around, turning his head, wriggling his arms. And he's still a boy :-)
I asked my OB what caused hematomas and she said no one really knows. She said her best guess, and there's no possible way to confirm this, was that I was beginning to have a miscarriage and for some reason, it abruptly stopped. The hematoma was the result of a trauma, the miscarriage itself. Greg and I wondered over it afterward. What stopped the miscarriage in its tracks, if it were indeed a miscarriage in the process? Or should we say Who?
It seems the danger is less with this hematoma (despite its 6cm size) in its harmless location than when it was thought that I had placenta previa. My placenta is still pretty close to my cervix but it's definitely moving up and away. A good sign. The baby is strong and healthy. Another good sign. There is no reason not to expect a normal pregnancy and birth. I'm still on bed rest, albeit a light one. I still can't go running, can't exercise (no yoga or Pilates, not that I do them anyway), can't lift heavy things, heavy chores, etc. I can do my normal chores like picking up, cooking, sweeping, etc. They don't require much exertion. Air travel with a hematoma is still a question, though.
We have about 9 weeks until we're supposed to go stateside for a few months. Hopefully, we will be able to go. I have to admit that I'm mentally checking out, especially being on bed rest and having to stay close to home and the hospital. I'm doing less so I have more time to think and often, my thoughts turn to the future, wondering if we will go home in July or not. I don't think I really care when we go home, as long as the baby is safe, but I would rather know now than to keep wondering. I will be disappointed if we're advised to stay here but we are consulting with other medical professionals with my company so we will see.
Life is good. It's spring and turning into summer. I love my city best during the spring and summer. The baby is safe. My girls are healthy. I have a good husband. We will see family and friends stateside soon. God is on his throne.
For now, the days slip by "like golden beads on the necklace of the year." I'm thankful.