So, here i sit, pondering my life and wondering what could be coming next.... We are in so much limbo right now that it is driving me crazy. When will the house sell? Where are we going to live in Utah? What school's do we want to put Carter in? Should I start them in sports and dance here and then leave mid season? Should we rent our house? AAAAAAAHHHHH! That's me screaming at the chaos. And to make matters worse my stupid fridge decides to start freezing all my produce for no reason, and then the garage door breaks and I have to manually open and close it. And this morning, I woke up all achy and sniffly and chilled. Needless to say, I am kind of a "half empty" girl these days. I also just had a tragic death in my near family that has kind of shaken everyone to the core. All of these things have made me sit back and contemplate what is most important in my life. What do I need to be happy? I decided that is a really loaded question. I went to the Denver temple this last week while my kids were visiting their grandparents to think and find some peace. I also was looking for answers on where my life should be going. I came away with peace of mind and the idea that I was making this too hard. What was important to me? All the things that I had been worrying about were physical THINGS. I realized how blessed I am to have a husband that loves me (even though he is in another state....). I have 3 healthy, beautiful children. I have enough money to meet all my basic needs. I also came across this scripture, which I absolutely love:
2 Nephi 31: 20: Wherefore, ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the words of Christ, and endure to the end, behold thus saith the father; Ye shall have eternal life."Well, there's my answer. "Press forward, steadfastness, feast upon the words of Christ, ENDURE, have eternal life".
So I still don't know what' coming next, but I am trying to look at it as our next adventure, and at least we will be doing it together, and we will survive!!!!
"Hope" is the thing with feathers
By Emily Dickinson
"Hope" is the thing with feathers—
That perches in the soul—
And sings the tune without the words—
And never stops—at all—
And sweetest—in the Gale—is heard—
And sore must be the storm—
That could abash the little Bird
That kept so many warm—
I've heard it in the chillest land—
And on the strangest Sea—
Yet, never, in Extremity,
It asked a crumb—of Me.