Hilarius Waxing Story...

I was sent this hilarius story on my myspace page and wanted to share it will all women...really it is so funny read it and tell me what you think!! (its kinda long but SO WORTH IT)

My night began as any other normal weeknight, come home, fix dinner, and play with the kids. I then had th thought that ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: 'maybe i should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet. 'so i headed to the site of demise: the bathroom.

It was one of those 'cold wax' kits, no melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them aprt and press them to you leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off.

No mess, or fuss. How hard can it be? i mean, i'm not a genius, but i am mechanically inclined enough to figure this our. (YA THINK!?!)
So i pull one of the thin strips out. its two stips facing eachother stuck together. instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so i get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. ('cold wax, ya right) i lay the trip across my thigh. hold the sin around it tight an pull. IT WORKS! ok, so it wasnt the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad.

i can do this! hair removal no longer eludes me! iam she-rah, fighter of the wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire.

with my next was stip i move north. after chicking on the kids, i sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. i drop my panties and place on foot on the toilet. using the same procedure, i apply the strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my hoo-ha and stretching sown the inside of my butt cheek (it was a long strip) i inhale deeply and brace myself......RRRRRRRIIIIIIIIPPPPPP!

I'm blind!!!! Blinded from the pain!!!!!.....OH MY GAWD!!!!!!!!

Vision returning, i notice that i've only managed to pull off half the strip. CRAP! Another deep breath and RIPP! Everything is spinning and spotted. I think I amay pass out...must stay conscious...must stay conscious. Do i hear crashing drums???? Breathe, breathe...ok, back to normal. I want to see my trophy-a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. i want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. i hold up the strip. there's no hair on it. where is the hair???? WHERE IS THE WAX???? Slyly i ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. i see the hair. the hair that should be on the strip....it's not!! I touch. Iam touching wax.

I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then i make the next BIG mistake...remember my foot is still propped upon the toilet? i know i need to do something. so i put my foot down. SEALED SHUT! my butt is sealed shut.... Sealed shut!

I penguin walk around the bathroom and think to myself "please dont let me get the urge to poop. my head my pop off! what can i do to melt the wax? Hot water!! hot water melts wax!!! I'll run the hottest water i can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wip it off, right????? *WRONG!!!!

i get in the tub-the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment- i sit.
now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together, is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub....in scalding hot water. which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax.

so, now i'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though i had cemented myself to the procelain!!!! God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!! i call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. it's very good conversation starter 'So, my butt and hoo-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub! there is a slight pause. she doesn't know any secret tricks for removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me. she wanted to know exactly where the wax is located, 'are we talking cheeks or hole or hoo-ha?' she's laughing out loud by now...i can hear her. i give her the rundown and she suggests i call the number on the box. YEAH!!!!RIGHT!!! I shold be the joke of someone else's night.

while we go through the various solutions, i resort to trying to scrape the wax off with a razor. nothing feels better than having your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!!!!

by now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and i'm pretty sure i'm going to need post-traumatic stress counseling for this event. My friend is still talking with me when i finally see my saving grace...the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. what do i really have to lose at this point? i rub some on and OH MY GAWD!!!!!!!! the scream probably woke the kids and scared the dickens out of my friend. its soooo painful, but i really dont care. ' IT WORKS!!! it works!!!!!

i get a hearty congratulaions from my friend and she hangs up. i sucessfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair.....................THE HAIR IS STILL THERE............ALL OF IT!

So i recklessly shave it off. heck, i'm numb by now. nothing hurts. i could have amputated my own leg at this point.

Next week I'm ging to try hair color!

The New Me...

So for those of you who wanted to see my new hair...here it is! I decided to go back to the original me...ALL BLONDE, i haven't been all blonde for about 7 or 8 years now, ever since i met nick that was about 10 years ago and i had blonde hair with him for about 3 years i would say, and he loves me blonde so i went back, its still not all the way complete since i don't want my hair to fall out I'm going to give it a week to repair itself. but i think it looks pretty good for what its gone through. It was pretty bad timing to change it now since only like a week or two i just died all the underneath dark brown with hot pink streaks through it but i just had the urge to be blonde again, and they say blondes have more fun, i think they do to so fun here i come!!!!



these are just pic i just took of kaylin and i he wanted me to take some pictures of him, he was smiling in front of the camera and saying "cheese" and then i held the camera out and told him to say cheese again and he made this funny face instead and i thought it was so cute!!!

HOUSE Finale tonight...

I'm so freakin excited for the HOUSE finale tonight, the suspense is killing me! I'm so sad its going to be over for the season, i hate that...now i have to wait who knows how long for the next season to start. If your not a house fan you should really go and check it out watch a few episodes and then i know you will be hooked, try it i dare you!

Mothers Day

It still seems strange to me to have a mothers day of my own. It was a really nice and relaxing day, i woke up and nick had left this big balloon that sang "how sweet it is to be loved by you" tied to some of my favorite chocolates with two cards this year...one from him and one from my handsome little boy, they were so cute. We went and had breakfast with my mom and siblings, and went to see my sweet little nana who i love so much...she always makes me happy! We relaxed around the house until dinner time and had dinner with nicks mom, and the best part of the day was nick didn't get to play the xbox or any game counsel (well he played for like 10min until i caught him) instead we played what i wanted to....yip nicks favorite...a board game!!! it was so nice to have to do nothing the whole day...nick even helped clean the house WITH OUT complaining. Happy late mothers day to all!

Pizza Night mare....

So last Thursday i went to raynis house for pizza and a movie which we try to do often...we usually go and get "2 fat guys pizza" and go to her house and put on some movie and relax, well its more of a quiet time for me with out a kid, anyways we were eating our pizza when raynis mom Kim says " does this pizza taste funny to you"...rayni said " a little" and me i said " no mine is not that bad, a little funny but not much". we kept eating and i went for a second piece and oh my gosh it was so sick, i could not even eat the bottom of the pizza, rayni said ya mine taste like some kind of cleaner. Rayni decided to call the pizza place and ask if they had put any different sauce or something on it, the DITSY girl said "no, what does it taste like?" rayni replied "well this might sound stupid but it kinda taste like a cleaner." (you'll never believe this) the girl then replied "oh well its probably JUST BLEACH" we were like what the HE**, bleach what does she mean ...JUST BLEACH? and why in the HE** is there bleach on our pizza... rayni then said, "so its bleach i'm tasting?" the girl said " ya the other girl that is working here with me set the bleach towel in the box to warm it up and them took your pizza out and put it in the box, she didn't know we aren't suppose to re-use boxes that of been dirtied." rayni then said,"well i dont want to wake up sick or something else" the stupid girl said, "iam sure you'll be fine", needless to say we wanted our money back so rayni and i drove back down there and the girl said "I'm sorry for that" I was like are you freakin serious, you put our pizza on bleach and all you can say is "sorry for that" I was not happy as you could imagine and she did not have anything intelligent to say. So morale of the story if your pizza taste funny don't keep eating it you never know when stupid young girls put bleach in your box and don't think anything of it.

Marrage Tag...

I have a marriage tag....now i tag...Rayni, Jenna, Stacy, Rickell.

1. What his your hubby's Full name? Nicholas James Haslem
2. How long have you been married? For 5 wonderful years
3. How long did you date? Since i was 14, we dated 4 years and married for 5 = 9 year all together
4. How old is he? 24 in August
5. Who east more? Nick, but i sure can eat too!
6. Who said "I love you" First? I think it was nick but im not sure.
7. Who is taller? Nick, but we were the same when we first met then nick shot right up
8. Who signs better? O' man we both suck in that area, but he does sing good in the shower
9. Who pays the bills? I pay the bills
10. Who is smarter? That would be nick for sure
11. Who's temper is worse? Mine ya i have a pretty short fuse.
12. Who does the dishes? I do 90% of the time
13. Who does the laundry? I do 99% of the time
14. Who mows the lawn? Nick, but i have done it a few times for him.
15. Who sleeps on the right side of the bed? if we are laying in the bed, I do
16. Who makes dinner? Me unless we BBQ then nick does
17. Who drives when your together? Mostly nick but sometimes me
18. Who kissed who first? Nick kissed me, in front of his bedroom Mirror, when he asked me out
19. Who asked who out first? Nick asked me
20. Where was your first date? To the movies theaters with my bro and his sis, we saw Toy Story, that was a really funny date
21. Who proposed? Nick
22. How did they propose? At Sea World while we were swimming with the Dolphins
23. Who is more stubborn? Me
24. Who is the first to admit their wrong? Nick is better at it but im getting better as well
25. Who parents do you see most? Nicks, they just live 2 min away
26. Who has more friends? I think we are about even
27. Who has more sibling? Me, I have 3 sisters and 4 bothers, Nick has one brother and 2 sisters
28. Who is more sensitive? Nick definitely is more of a softy them me
29. Who wears the pants? I saw that some people wrote they each share one leg, but i don't think that works...so i would say i mostly do but i let nick put some on sometimes!!!

23 Things about me

Tagged....now i tag Jenna, Rayni, Rachel, Rickell,
just write as many things about you equal to how old you are
(so if your 20 write 20 things about you)

1. I love my family so dang much, my two boys are my life.
2. I really enjoy taking picture of people and capturing moments for them to remember, i am starting my own photography business just a little one.
3. I love cotton candy, ice cream and for sure chocolate.
4. I don't really like veggies although i really wish i did.
5. I love being out doors and just getting out of the everyday life and routine i have.
6. I love being a stay at home mom for my little kaylin.
7. I love to CUDDLE!
8. I love love love vinyl saying they are all over my house (thanks to stacy for having that business my house if filling up fast) i think they are how i express my self.
9. I use to be a really big tomboy back in the days, ya i wore long boy socks all the way up to my knees with tenis, boy shirts and shorts. I'm glad to say iam a girly girl now but still like to get my hands dirty!
10. I like Cheetos on my pb and honey sandwiches, and even on my turky and cheese too.
11. I like to be crazy once in a while with my hubby and friends, and doing crazy things with my hair...not too crazy just with colors!
12. I love going dancing even though nick hates it.
13. I love helping people in need, it give me such great feeling
14. I have this obsession with HOUSE and in some weird way i really think he is hot!
15. I hate the ocean well mostly large bodies of water or water i cant see the bottom in.
16. I am still scared to be alone most of the time just at night time, cause i HATE the dark, except to sleep in.
17. I have a really bad habit of telling people off when i am mad and cant hold it in anymore, sorry if you have seen my wrath.
18. I am a sucker for chick flicks and anything romantic....on the other hand i love action movies, 007, Italian job, tombstone, transformers, die hard, ect. the list could go on and on.
19. When ever iam at home i like to be comfortable so i where lounge pants or shorts and nick hates it.
20. I am a total daddys girl, probably why i love camping, fishing, hunting, and i love four wheeling, hiking, and i kinda like ski blading ive only been a few time,
21. I can spit supper far, i would always win any boy that tried to beat me, i would have to say i don't do it hardly anymore but iam sure it would come back fast.
22. I hate sea food and really iam a plain plain eater its borang but someday i will grow up, roller coasters, stuck up people, mustard, scary movies, ect.
23. I have a very big bad addiction for PEPSI its my weakness, and so hard when i am pregnant, its the first thing i asked for when i had my little boy...a big ice cold Pepsi and hamburger!!!

Bike Trailer Fun...

Yesterday (Sunday) we always go up and eat with nicks parents for Sunday dinner and it was a really nice day yesterday and nick wanted to ride our bike up to their park cause that's were we were going to eat, well i was not really feeling like ridding up the hill this time and so nick was like come on babe me and Kaylin both want to and i was like no i really don't wanna babe, so nick said ok well how about you ride in the bike trailer with Kaylin and i will pull both of you, well i said im pretty sure i exceed the weight limit on this thing and he said you'll be fine just get in, and i really didn't want to but i squeezed my self in there with Kaylin (good thing he is small), and off we went...well as we were passing people and cars they would all take a second look in it and start laughing and not to mention i was laughing at my self so i didn't mind one bit, Nick got a great work out though. One the way back its all pretty much down hill and we always get going really fast and let me tell you its a whole different experience when your in a little thing behind the bike, it was just like i was on a roller coaster and i hate roller coasters so i was screaming and Kaylin was just looking at me like i was some crazy lady and nick was doing all he could to make it more scary for me...freakin nick...that's the last time he gets the privilege of pulling his 23 year old wife in the bike trailer again...lol! i just had to tell that story, im mad we didn't get any pictures of it but i am sure you can all picture it anyways!