Snow Fire Thunder Storm - Wrath of God

I ask not of love between man and woman.
I ask for practice of one's forgiveness, patience and peace.
A prayer a night for humility, honour and strength.
Gentle ways for thy neighbour.
Sincere and kind words for thy foe.

Cherish the crystal snow blizzard.
It gives chance for simple bliss.
It gives power in our walk.

Accept the raze of fire.
With mess, dirt and sad history burn to ground.
New hope awaits for rebirth and proper build in tomorrow.

Love the thunder music.
The only sound that claps down arguments and cries.
Stop unnecessary behaviour. Be plain and quiet for once.


The wrath of God is a warning that Mother Earth had enough. Should humans choose to repeat their follies. Then, we choose to be trapped in the vicious cycle of suffering and lessons.

I think all four elements are beautiful. Harsh teachings but beautiful in all shape and form.

I pray that the world wakes up.

My Scent - Spirit and Shadow of Madame Plum Blossom

White Plum Blossom

White Musk

White Sandalwood

 

I thought I have finally found "my scent". A signature scent to call your own and be remembered by. I could have created my own legend and forge an eternal olfactory scent-print memory for all whom I meet. With great sadness, all 'Plum Blossom' perfumes / soaps / powders / creams / oils are only partial ingredients in complex recipes of today perfumes or short episodes of limited edition perfumes (E.g. Jo Malone and L'Occitane). And I was more than willing to fork out the gold in exchange for these overpriced merchandise.

 

In March 2011, I typed an ode to Cherry Blossoms. But the call of Plum Blossoms echoes, pulses and drum bass vibrates with my flesh, spirit and aura. Oh well.

 

 

I have decided.

 

No point moping about what has been and what if. I have not been guided with any answers, hints or callings from up above and beyond. Thus, it is time to get my hands dirty and sink my feet into the mud. Worse comes to worse, I will just have to purchase a two way ticket and do my own flying. If God has decided to not shed any light or clues on the direction I should take, belong to and chase. I guess I will have to do the search myself even if it is in the dark.

 

Once again, I have been put in the position: This is not where I belong, what next?

 

Just as what I have told Dad. Even if there is no answer at the end of the journey or at deathbed, so be it. At the very least, I can look back, remark and reflect at the glorious journey I have plodded through; regardless of how much time has washed over my dragging, uncertain footsteps.

 

At the very bare minimum, I know that I have found my scent, know the man I have to look for, fallen in love with cypress, pine and bamboo trees, I wear the Sarong Kebaya traditional costume best (Not cheongsam, kimono or evening gown), and my last days should be spent resting under a Cherry Blossom tree.

 

Oh well, here I go... 2015, the travelling and Happyfatty Pilgrimage 2 begins.

I-Ching Divination

 

I bought a book a while back on Astrology and Fortune-Telling to feed my fascination on future insights, fate and interpreting the signs of the universe. For fun and redirection ... measured against reality and practicability. I used the internet to find the zodiac readings of my sun sign, moon sign and rising sign along with the position of the other planets at the time of my birth. From this book, I had further knowledge of my Chinese Horoscope (Year, month and time). In addition, I deduced the most compatible soul mate sign for me, which combined my past experiences with different horoscope characters.  Uncannily, this presumptuous soul mate's birth date gave an expected but amazing zodiac profile that matched my dream visions perfectly.

 

It is utmost ridiculous and incredulous but sentimentally bittersweet.

Ridiculous as in probability of 0.00000001%.

Sentimental and tearful because he is out there. 

 

I told my Mom that I had 3 foresights for us 3 siblings for the future. No basis, no logic, no premonitions, no God-like vision or words in dreams... Just a YY odd feeling.

 

I am the eldest.

 

Brother 2 will lead and manage a group of like-minded individuals. He has the aura of a 'Boss' in his field.

 

Brother 3 will pioneer a new innovation or creation. His product will be internationally recognised. I envision him on a stage to receive this recognition and give a speech.

 

As for plain, old me who struggled and tire many years of lost direction and hardship... I do not know why. But I see myself assisting and supporting someone. He could be my other half. With my special experiences and unique perspective of life's journey, I think I am meant to use these lessons to support and encourage someone else's greater ambition and dream. To redefine society and introduce a new trend for the world. I have never saw this before but this nonsensical gut feeling came very strongly.

 

Having said all that, it could be for nought and I will just plod through life according to God's determination and result.

 

Thus, out of curiosity and surrender, I stumbled across the "I-Ching" section of my Astrology book and put my 3 personal questions to the test. Alas, the hexagrams shed a harsh truth about timing and perseverance, an old adage that I am always fighting.

 

My 3 questions were selfishly all about myself - career, love (Marriage and husband) and children. A little woman's secret and eternal wonder, no matter how hard she tries to project nonchalance upfront.

 

Here in this entry, I divulge those divinations. Once again, like a rhyme, they all relate.

 

Career = 21 Biting Through

 

The situation calls for confronting a tenacious knot and cutting through it. Somehow, the way to harmony and unity is blocked or frustrated — perhaps by a tangle of deceit or corruption. Like Alexander the Great cutting the Gordian knot, take decisive action and you will meet with good fortune. Don’t be afraid to shake things up a bit. The ability to take corrective measures, when they are needed, is an essential trait of true leadership.

Those who bring discipline to bear must, above all, be honest - with others, and with themselves. Honesty is the hallmark of the strong and self-confident. The successful person masters the art of honesty much as a swordsman masters fencing. When lies, delusions and game-playing are getting in the way of teamwork, a swift sword of honest action, perhaps even punishment, must be wielded to protect one's integrity and values. Decisiveness with integrity at a time like this brings good fortune.
 

Though your actions be vigorous, they must not be hasty, severe, or arbitrary. Be sure to carefully consider all the circumstances. In the case of a serious disruption of relations or events, you must forgive, but not forget — at least until a person has made reparation for his mistakes. If corrective action is necessary, make certain that it fits the crime. When rules have become slack and useless, only through the institution of clear and swift penalties can their effectiveness be restored.

 

In situations where serious issues of justice are at stake, keep careful records, and do not hesitate to go public with the truth.

Love and Children = 36 , Changing Lines at 43's 2, 4 and 5  - Darkening of the Light and Breakthrough

When the light goes down, it may be wise to become invisible. The image is of fresh darkness, the period after the sun has gone down or the fire has gone out. There is still much activity left over from the light of day, and movements in the outer world are at their most dangerous. Even the smallest sound, the faintest glow of light, can attract unwanted attention.

 

When the darkness of stupidity reigns, it is best that your own brilliance stay “hidden under a bushel basket.” That is, your thoughts and efforts should be quiet, self-contained, and protected, as much as possible, from harmful external influences.

 

Whatever you do, don’t let yourself be swept along on the current of conventional wisdom when dangerous uncertainties exist. Try not to become too depressed or anxious; this period will pass. Just endure it for now and inwardly preserve your self-confidence, while outwardly remaining cooperative and flexible. The time to assert yourself will come. Avoid looking too far ahead if you have not yet achieved your goals — that will only bring regret and longing, which can eat away at your inner resources.

 

Be cautious and reserved. Control yourself. Do not needlessly awaken dormant forces of opposition. During dark, unsettled periods, it is best to step gingerly around the sleeping dogs.

 

Line 2

Determination requires sensitivity, readiness and caution. Expect the unexpected, moving through life with the calm alertness of someone driving through a mountain forest at night, watchful for movement around each new bend in the road. Be optimistic, but take care. A strong character will triumph.

 

Line 4

A restless person with an obstinate attitude invariably meets with misfortune. Failure to heed good advice when confronting antagonistic forces is bound to lead to failure.

Line 5

Uprooting corruption in high places is a difficult task, and can only be accomplished by a steady and determined effort. Just as weeds often spring back to life after they have been chopped down, so corruption tends to reemerge even after initial efforts to be rid of it seem to have worked. Only a persevering effort can succeed against deeply rooted negative forces.

 

(Taken from "divination.com/iching")

 

Looks like more waiting, active pursuits with an open, observant mind and restrained practice, tolerance and perseverance. It appears to tell me to continue to hold faith inside and go forward with wisdom and cautious honour.

 

I am so tired. But I guess that is what I have to do.

 

Therefore, chin up YY and walk on. Remain tall, patient and dignified. If action is required, remain detached from petty emotions, apply appropriate principles and move towards brightness. Come what may.  I will have to hold eternal faith in God's plans.

 

 

 

 



Soaptalk

I say a prayer every night for blessings to people around me, world peace and positive inner strength + energy force to overcome the hurdles of tomorrow. Just as I mentioned in my previous entry below, my work and world in general is deteriorating downhill like a torrential landslide. I know it is affecting my health. Before, I needed divine intervention. Now, I think I need plain hero rescue. Sigh...

 

Internally, I am bloated, indigested and my body regeneration or healing processes are slow and languid. Externally, I am itching, flaking (around my scalp and in embarrassing places), stinging and swelling down under. Thank goodness I have not degenerated to extreme dermatitis where inflammed red patches, pus and blisters decorate the whole body. But a sudden attack of the feeling of "a spider crawling and scratching in my knickers"was enough to scare the wits out of me. I thought I was not clean enough despite morning-night rigorous showers. Amidst the bustle of trying to deal and face the hell creatures, I flew into the handicap toilet to 'cold water pat' it down.

 

That nasty surprise incident was sufficient to ring alarm bells and I quickly purchased a new tube of Moogoo Eczema and Psoriasis cream. I know my body shower creme would further irritate the condition. Thus, I decided to invest into a new Moogoo milk soap bar (Goat's Milk Type) in faith that my daily washes will calm the beginnings of an inflammed skin.

 

I am very fortunate that my skin is not as sensitive as some babies and adults out there who have far worse conditions. I have made conscious attempts to listen and observe my body the past few years and my "XX" file is starting to accumulate a few pages. A new leaf has been added and I need to learn more about natural soaps. In the past, I enjoyed experimenting with a variety of shower cremes, soap bars and liquid gels. The Japanese Shokubutsu Monogatari series were my latest additions to my washing craze. I have trialled organic handmade soaps and olive oil based soaps before but they disappoint. Natural soaps were too weak in cleansing thoroughly and did nothing for my delicate skin that is prone to acne, boils, blackheads and occasional eczema. The environment is polluted and filthy these days with many unknown harsh chemicals and toxins that are difficult to eliminate with the oh-so-pure natural soaps. From another perspective, I discovered that natural soaps does not rid of poopoo smell very well too.

 

Haha! Yes, I have coined the term "XX" (From  the term XX chromosome) file for us females. I noticed every female has a unique, individual and mystifying body makeup that fluctuate and display strange symptoms throughout different physical growths, changes and external influences. Take for an example, pregnancy. The female body will never be the same once she gets pregnant and after fruit bearing of a baby. For us single blossoms, the menstruation history and genetic background pops up funny, perplexing, uncomfortable and embarrassing issues time to time that require immediate investigation.

 

For silly Yy (who is soaking in a temporary hotspring of self-pity), me is agonizing on the significant cost increase of buying organic, natural soaps  (They use up fast ... eh... like in a week!). However, I am starting to believe wholeheartedly that it is the correct eternal direction to journey for the rest of my life. It is even better to realise that natural soaps niche has progressed and yet still maintain its traditional soapmaking methods and pure natural ingredients without synthetics. Now, I have targeted two major brands to trial and record its effects.

 

1) Moogoo - Can depend on long term and use decadently with no side effects. The milk soap bar washes quite well, not tingling drying and soothes the inflammation. The itchiness persist, I am afraid...

 

2) Ah Yuan's Soap - It utilises TCM (Traditional Chinese Medicine) knowledge of herbs, roots and flowers to wash naturally and deal with specific skin problems. I want to try!

 

Well, we will see. Hope there is hope in Yy's skin.

 

My  XX's ultimate aim - To grow long healthy, thick, luscious black hair and possess clean, clear and pure flower-petal skin.

 

Hohohohoho! The greed of females. Of course, at the end of the day, if I can work my grooming in harmony with nature, I think that is what God wants.

 

Thank you God for all the blessing of nourishing, healing herbs, milk and flora around us. May we honour the gifts of Mother Earth and survive in peace.

 

 

 



Happy Chinese New Year 2013!

Oh my gosh! It has been nearly a year since I have updated my blog. I did start a draft post several months ago about a stroke of serendipity in my life in 2012 but I never got around to completing it.

But I must declare that I have accomplished a few goals that I originally set out some years ago. *Drum Roll* Here is a list of what I conquered:

1. Portrait Photography - Many thanks to Little Bell and her parents. I joined in their wedding studio photo package and obtained a small portrait photography album for me vain self. It was a remarkable experience! The results were stunning and ... I could have been an actress. Hahahaha! If I lost 35 kg...

2. I travelled to China - Such a valuable and rewarding learning experience. The short 1-week trip to Beijing and 1-week time period in ShiJiaZhuang gave me a deep insight and alternate perspective of my roots - as a tourist and a local. 

3. Japanese Lessons - Nihongo, here I am! I have registered  with a centre that assists with migration, business trips and exchange. This centre offered one-on-one tuition during weekdays and it was most convenient for me, as it was not far from my workplace. Sensei and I have a pleasant rapport and I enjoyed all my lessons to date. The only gripe is I wish I was more conscientious in my lessons and attend frequently. My workplace is exponentially hellish in growth and 2013 has further reinforced the dire need for the reincarnations of Justice Bao and Confucius. One wonders if it is not the end of the world yet, what is in store for us?

Well, I have not met Mr. White Dragon God and maybe it is a blessing in disguise. I do not think my old man is ready. If it never happens, that is all fine. I will just have to live simply and peacefully till the end of time. I am grateful and happy where I am. No matter how the world changes and whether my situation deteriorates, I will hold faith in God's plans.

Till the next chapter, I will continue to watch and observe with clear and bright eyes.

New Blog Design

Ohohohoho! I think I must be very bored to spend all this time readjusting a new design for my blog. Oh well. This design speaks volumes of my inner world. I am at peace with wherever I am at, whatever I do. It is not what I want. But then again, whatever I wanted did come true and it is usually a disappointing revelation. Everything is an illusion of some sort. I guess that is life. I will happily announce if I ever get to personally experience what is true "bliss". That 'shiawase' moment stories, dramas, movies depict of time and time again... and people just cannot get enough of. I think if that blissful moment ever hit me, I will probably fear that it is another illusion or it is not meant to last. But then, everything is impermanent. I only hope that it is true and eternal for that very moment. Meanwhile, I'll just indulge in more 'Takeshi' lookalikes and photos. Does not necessarily have to be the "Takeshi Kaneshiro". He is not the handsomest after all. Just angles, shades and snippets of that style-sophistication-aura.

In Search of the Dragon in 2012!

My younger brother SoeyHorng (a.k.a 'Dai Siu') and I had a conversation in the car once, on the way to work, about being trapped in the web of 'love'. I teased him that his plans to be a monk will need to be postponed indefinitely, as he is destined to be trapped by my new Sister-in-Law 'Little Bell'. We laughed heartily at the thought of him being this little guppy swimming his own way through life, minding his own business... thought that he had his freedom in his carefully planned path and behold! He was in a fish pond all along. Little Bell is very smart. LOL.

As the saying goes, "There are plenty more fish in the sea." Well, while intelligent and savvy ladies out there are busy planning their strategies or netting unsuspecting fish, Yy here has been quite idle. Most of my fellow female-kind are hardworking at navigating seven seas and four shores with their ships and speedboats. I've merely sat on the rocks observing. Occasionally, I'll have a quick tour underwater. I guess I am subconsciously waiting for the right moment, the right wind direction.

This is because I am not really after a 'fish'. Fish are too flamboyant, frivolous, flippant and require high maintenance. Not that interested. I want to encounter something more exquisite. I'm not intending to capture or trap at all. I just want to hold onto his horns and go on a ride with him... to see the world from his eyes. A little shy to confess, I'm in search of the White Dragon. He may dwell in a river or the deep seas. Hmm... I have an inkling that he may be born in 1976 or 1977 with the chinese zodiac of the fire dragon.

I joked to my brother that I will use a stun gun to stop him in his tracks. Hoho! Nonono... I'm too kind. I will ask if I can accompany him on his journey and if we get along, I'll just hold onto his horns. Just like Sen (Chihiro) in [Spirited Away].

Just my imagination anyways...