And when I see you,
I really see you upside down
But my brain knows better,
it picks you up and turns you around
Turns you around, turns you around

It started out as a feeling
Which then grew into a hope
Which then turned into a quiet thought
Which then turned into a quiet word
.
.
No need to say goodbye.

"When love is more than form or face,
When love sees past the bone and skin,
When love fears not but to embrace,
And seeks the soul that lies within,
When truest hearts seek so true,
Brave any danger, and the storm,
Then outward semblance be made new"

more blue fat pain killers. GREAT.

oh wow!

and tiny yellow flu tablets for sleeping pills. FANTABULOUS!
somebodytotallyfreakmeout! =))))))))

x x
_____________

eeeeeeeeeeto.

me and wee wee and weewee'sfriend David almost died this morning.
hahahahahaha.
"3 NTU Students Killed : Death by Double-Decker" could've been tomorow's headlines.
lol.
the three of us OBVIOUSLY were still half-asleep, and the driver could'nt care less!
srsly!
we were wrong for j-walking but still!
1) he didn't slow down at the turn
2) he saw us and continued! and he didnt turn properly either!
he was gonna ram wee wee over!
my god.
and wee wee also v funny.
haha
david dashed forward to the otherside, wee wee was in the middle and i ran back to the curb.
and wee wee, instead of moving forward, what ppl would normally do, ran backward instead.
so when i turned arnd, he was suddenly there behind me tugging my shirt like a kid, saying "ehhhh.....welly scary..." the typical wee wee-rtcc way.
i was like, too stunned at everything tt just happened i didnt really respond then, but now it seems damn funny.
haha.

zomg.
i think the heritage game is, -_-
but the ideas we came up with is totally better than the NE games i rmb having to do in pri n sec sch.
how much can 40 plus years have anw?

sunday:
Joyce's bday bash at Kbox in Cineleisure.
q. fun thought i wasnt up for the buffet or the singing.
or guffawing, or the laughing tt we ended up doing.
haha.
there wasnt as many ppl as tt time at the BBQ.
i think tt was real nice.

with regards to my earlier post...
mayb its just me.
or the impression of that few times?

anw.
im damn depressed abt the STUPID H.A.S (hall allocation system).
SEA-RYE-IOUSLY.
i mean.
first they want a triple room thing.
then they lower the points for distance.
now they RAISE the points we need to have to stay in hall.
it is the SHITS.
i feel like an asshole not being able to help the ppl in my subcomm.
its either we promise to be in a main comm or we dont get a place to stay.
fish, hell, curses and damnation.
and all the seniors are forced to either to move into some other hall or not stay in any hall at all.
and they STILL expect a HALL SPIRIT?
spirits are literally what they gonna get.

half the freshies i know won't be around next academic year.
most of the seniors wont be around either.
i sure as hell hope the freshies become the new IT.
or hall life is abt to get as dead as a graveyard.



went for dinner with the 43 ppl today...
shu pei came along.
haha.
pretty darn funny it was.
only im sick n having a stupid backache.
n.y.d.c is KILLING me slowly.
lol.
but since when has it NOT?

them, the beautiful, and, the others...those who ain't...

i don't know what's the greater of these two evils.
the beautiful getting away with whatever they want or the people that allow them to do what they do.
i know the pretties are charming, cute, beguiling and almost enchanting.
but hello people.
take a step back and peel away the veil.
you'll see them then, for what they really are.

i'm not pretty.
and sometimes i wish i was, but i'm actually pretty happy with what i've got at the moment.
theres always sth i wanna change.
but thats where self improvement comes in, i think.
the ones who get what they want are pretty pitiful, (cuz i think they're probably bored outta their minds) but not, NOT, i repeat, when they manipulate everyone else.
we are all prone to biasness.
but srsly.
sometimes, its too much?
i can't stand the sight of it.
and the hard workers don't get their due.
just cuz they're not eye candy material.
i KNOW life's not supposed to be fair.
but does that mean we, the already-sufferers-of-unfairness should also BE UNFAIR?
i dunno if i should broach the subject with mama and papa....but.

argh,
i dunno la.


work today was reallllllyyyy sleepy.
gal, chin, anton, perdie, and i got thru the day in a half daze.
except when they went to get the Quaker freebies.
lol.
that was a sight!
srsly.
clem, eddie's holland staff came by.
now he's what i think is good-looking.
but he reminds me of 'dia. lol.
the sluggish super teeeeh kind.
haha.
dunno.
i practically pounced on banana when she came in!
haha. she had this "oh no jade's STILL HERE" look so i jus gave her a huge hug.
hahahaha.
MS S you'd probably grin if u saw.
lol.

NIGI reunited today, along w haoren, hilwa n latifah.
we ate at Sketches at Robertson Walk....ironically its where we went to watch MacBeth.
the DBS Arts House was just behind.
the place is SO Chew. as in it was full of huge LCD screens showing anything n everything FOOTBALL.
and Chew is like, the no 1 MAN-U fan. lol.

the stuff was pricey but tasted darn good.
full bellies and M-T pockets, FTL.
but it was all fun. haha
i finished all of Jane's sentences for her when she was trying to update us on the latest gg on in her r/s.
she put it on us being lit/ or x-lit students.
lol.
Ms Baey would've been highly amused i suppose.
but i'm thinking "Aaron, how could you do this????"
i guess its shocking but not THAT shocking.
my jaw still dropped though, fyi.


ytd was JB.
met koky too early though.
ended up waiting pretty long for the rest : xnl, rtcc, SP and smoker (who doesn't smoke, actually)
the guys headed str8 for the dvds. lol.
then we hopped into cabs and went to Jusco to catch lunch n a movie.
Prince Caspian's not bad.
cliche at times, but reminds u of some childhood fantasy. lol.
the guy tt plays the role of Edmund, his real name's Skandar Keynes.
and guess what ppl! he's John Keynes' (the guy who came up w the Keynesian theory in economics) great-nephew and a descendant of Darwin. holey moley guacamoly!
bought this shirt from WH.
had the biggest seafood dinner in ages!
lala, crayfish, stingray, oyster omelette, sambal kangkong and herbal chicken.
rtcc died when he over ordered the chee chong fan.
his expression was freaking timeless.
not to mention the earlier image of cop eating doughnut.
the stigma'll nv go away mannnnnn.
lol.
will probably upload all the pix on friendster soon.


*sidenote*
hey long!
i think i'm scarier than you.
or at least, hopefully you'll feel better.
lol.
see, if ppl get intimidated by their 1st impression of u, we all can scoff @ 'em cuz they dont really KNOW you.
but in my case, i seem to be scaring them off more and more as they all get to KNOW me more and more.
doesnt this mean theres sth abt me that scares them?
or that i'm doing sth really wrong or disgusting or sth?
i really don't know the perfect answer but my guess is theres sth really off about me.
oh heck.
so, i mean, you really shouldnt bother abt what they think on their first impression.
cuz, at least you dont drive them away AFTER they getta know u., unlike me.
they're all breaking their backs just to know your name =)

what a day! lol.
but i got no time to update.
maybe tml...
tata!

ok.
its been a shitty weekend for me.
and ytd was shitty too.

i think i would kill myself if anything happened to jo.
now tt my dad isnt bothering her theres even more.
and when i did go back to stay at khatib, that one night was unbearable.
not to mention dad wasnt home either.

whats going on, i say, whats going on?

after taking the day off for bball on sunday morning then mother's day celeb in the aftnn, everything was called off.
none of the thonners replied my smses, and my mum said she didnt want to celebrate mother's day, she wanted to postpone it till jo could make it.
i was like, -_-.
the only thing that went well was the choir chalet, and even then lynd couldnt make it.
and as jw was sending me home during the chalet there was MORE BAD NEWS.
just how much bad news is there waiting in store for a person on a weekend and completely off guard too?
how am i supposed to be optimistic like this?
like wth srsly.

and then theres more.
people demanding i make myself free on some random day to suit their time so we can all go out. why? because everytime we plan sth this particular person always ditches us on that day itself.
why do i have a feeling tt despite me taking this day off she's gg to not turn up again?
(no banana, this is not abt u guys...its another grp of ppl entirely)
im sorry im not more tolerant, or as tolerant as i was before.
the word "LIMIT", is finally entering my brain's dictionary.

i ahve to finally admit i cant please everyone,
i cant help anyone
i can't can't can't even sustain sth important no matter how hard i try.
or maybe i try too hard.
but doors close all the time.
maybe i have to try harder.
i dunno what i make my stand for anw.
i find myself swaying with the crowd too often.

like at work ytd night.
i think i did sth shitty.
it made me feel horrid.
the thought of it is even worse.
curse and damnation.
can someone just off me?

i was looking through my pix and i was wondering.....

WHEN AM I GOING TO STOP LOOKING SO FREAKIN GEEKY?!

its either tt or i look pale.
like, zomg.

u.g.l.y. you aint got no alibi.
wonder if lynd went with wang to the marie digby concert...
hmmmm...

ahks.
work today was as usual.
i got put as hotside runner...again.
but zh was there to help me =)) -beams-
there was quite a bit of unhappiness today.
but i tried easing it and it didnt help and now i feel shitty.
the helplessness sucks.
argh.
i hate to admit but its outta my hands.

jill's long time ago OBS friend came by today and surprisingly, he was friendly.
i dont remember even talking to him before but oh well.
hopefully he doesnt say anything much.
was kinda shock seeing him smoke and have alcohol breath but what am i thinking, he n my sis are alr 19!
im living in the past half the time i think.
just like my culture.
how annoying.
it has to go.
my habit i mean.
not the culture.
lol.






WHAT TO DO FOR MOTHER'S DAY???

heyo.

wanted to update but......lol.

anw.
stay tuned for the adventures of buttcrack boys and madmen, wild fantasies of pale, possibly gay dudes and a funeral.

=))

ciao!
xoxo

went to timbre on the 30th with the 43 gang tt day...
it was....FUNNY, as lyndsey would also probably say.
i dunno la.
supper was even FUNNIER.
first time i finished a heineken.
lol.

it was rowdy but how should i put this?
may be its my fate to have guy friends who always make me wait.
=)
this isnt the first time but yea.
whichever way u put it.
miscommunication la, thinking tt because they live next door to the meeting place they end up miscalculating the time etc etc.
is it because of familiarity or is it because i have the 'please do what you want' written all over my face.
oh well.
whatever makes them happy.
the ones who'll be stuck waiting for late girls wont be me anw.


i think im starting to accept the fact that people change and that after certain things or incidents that happen, they never do treat you the same anymore.
may be i shouldnt take notice of it so much?
but its because i notice it tt makes it easy for me to pick up on different moods i think.

somehow it backfires.
as in.
when will i ever be able to differentiate when people want me to pick up on their feelings and when they dont?
and then i have to pretend like its ok they dont want to share, or dont want to hear the truth, despite them asking for it.
rtcc used to say "sharing is caring" but more and more now it doesnt seem as though it matters.
so what if i share?
no one can do anything.
and even though it feels good sharing at first the more i say it the more i know theres nth much i can do and that feeling sucks too.
and i think he's also becoming one of the people im tiring out.
even though people automatically say share, after while they cant handle it and it spoils EVERYTHING.
i become very very dependent on my confidantes and i think i eventually become an irritating parasite that never goes away.
so.
so what if people tell me their dilemmas?
the solutions they should take or the stuff they WANT TO HEAR and what they should hear are different.
i dont want to be the bringer of bad realities and the last time i did that what happened?
i got into an argument which never really recovered.
and i feel that loss.
so badly it hurts.
but i cant say anything.
because he wouldnt understand.
i've tried, though maybe in the wrong way.
but either it leads to another argument or .
so, again.
\i think this has been bugging me for a freaking long time but i had no idea how to put it in words.
till now.
xnl i noe you think i think too much and i admit i do. but only sometimes.
i think if i were to not think too much abt what i say or do, i'd hurt someone else with my bluntness.
and so i have to think.
or, i can really jus start getting all dreamy eyed and not say anything abt anything.
and space out.
or sth.
ahks.
not like what i think makes a difference now anw.
even if things turn sour, i still have all the messages in my phone.
that, i'll never delete.