hello to those people whom are actually not invited to read my blog but want to kpo anyway...

NUMBER ONE:

please for goodness sakes don't assume i assume anything when i nv even mention names.



NUMBER TWO:

keep your cool before asking or spreading anything to prevent those 3rd or 4th parties from making an ant's nest into a bloody MOLEHILL. just go straight to the author if u are really that unhappy.


NUMBER THREE:

please do not make the none-involved involved. one example, ME.





NEWSFLASH
you all have just played directly into the mastermind's hands.
this is the result of the lack of thinking before speaking or doing.
and u have caused ME unwonted trouble.
some actually apologised others just continue rambling on.
for the latter, mind you, you have no idea abt what i am even writing abt and the so called political one is none other than.
how many times must i tell u to stop pouring ur 'heartache' to me. its NOT MY FRIGGIN PROBLEM.

and. all of u have just proved that u ALL are using this blog, as well as the others that u have found, as weapons.
if u cannot deal with the angst, dont read it.
why cause yourself the unnecessary emotional turmoil?
we write abt it because its therapeutic and its for other ppl to read in the way of keeping in touch with us.
it isnt and was never meant as a cutting edge.
start learning to separate virtual reality from reality itself.


AND LET ME MAKE THIS CLEAR TO ALL.
- i personally STRONGLY feel that i am NOT at all inclined in anyway to explain what i WANT to talk abt or discuss in this blog obviously BECAUSE it is my blog.
and since, as i said, it is MINE, i shall say what i want, real or fake, nonsensical or reasonable.
what if i were to say every entry was a lie and u got pissed for nth?
its plain dumb, and i think u'd all agree.
everyone was born different and all are entitled to individual opinions.

.....on a lighter note: u wanna kpo, feel free. its a free country. but. practise a hint of ethics and self control will you.


ever heard of the saying ' a clear conscience is a soft pillow'?
well, i have a clear conscience.
whether or not u all have one is only for u to noe.


watch the simpsons today.
totally brainless but hilarious but not work spending too much on i think.
haha.
met up with chen too.
the idiot boy that came for the movie today left bruises on my arms! that bugger.

my hostel room is freakin bare.
but i like.

ya.
as the title hints.
we literally had to WEAR EARS.
we walked arnd with 2 pairs of ears each.
like idiots.
lol.

the event today was completely different from the edc one.
it was boring.
and i had nth much to do other than stand around and wait to clear stuff.
the only interesting thing was the new temp playlist and hossan leong.


i kinda agree with sue.
thinking = killing = suicide = braindead.



the end.

i have a little something.
to those who told on sara, or rather, said she has a lack of interaction...
i wonder if they even tried talking to her in the first place....
just because a person is quiet doesnt mean she isnt friendly or unreasonable or tt she only speaks to selected ppl.
honestly, she's one of the most ethical ppl at work at the moment (not tt there were many to begin with) but yea.
isnt it common sense tt if someone doesnt make the first move, you should?
not everyone is the kind of person tt will go " hi how are you my name is so n so"
if u wanna complain at least take note of the DETAILS first?
the 'old ppl' tat she speaks to are those tt usually say hi to her FIRST anyway.
it is SO NOT abt the new vs old thing.
its more abt the intiative or lack thereof.
how bout think of it this way?
have YOU that complained even TRIED making conversation FIRST?
if u are going to say u aint a 'hi' person either then all the more u shouldnt complain BECAUSE u should understand how it is.
honestly, u are all sabo-ing urselves man.
haha.
i found the whole thing quite hilarious.
but sara n weel are actually the same.
so.
and im not the kind of person that wont try first before giving up.
maybe its coincidence, mayb its fate.
but whatever it is, people, for heavens sake stop judging books by their covers.
you wont get very far.

hello nesh!
i noe u are probably reading this now.
might as well be open abt it.


well, well, well.
we all know who can keep things to themselves and who cant, now, don't we.
-smirks-
some of us are probably thinking it was only a matter of time while the idealistic ones probably wanted to trust.
oh well.
its now down to who can and cannot separate personal life from work life.
honestly.
people who read this blog probably noe i hide most of my frustration pretty well.
there may be alot of things i do not like abt myself, but i think controlling my emotions is sth i can usually manage.
and, might i add, it is sometimes better than that of adults.
altho technically im alr a young adult myself.
we shall see whether or not all this online ranting and musings will be used as a weapon.
i'm an idealist, yea, but im not stupid.
think im loud at work?
think of it this way.
i prefer to use it in a way where it prevents unnecessary unhappiness.
letting other ppl noe abt a person's working habits actually helps ppl work around it.
prevents all unnecessary tears, cursing, ranting blah blah the whole enchilada.
think its funny to spread fake stuff and cause unnecessay worry?
or be unethical when it comes to consumption safety?
i will NEVER betray anyone i work with even if i feel like condemning that person to hell and back.
so please, don't ask me awkward questions unless u want awkward answers.
im not being sarcastic at this point though since this IS MY BLOG i can basically be as sarcastic as i want.
but honesty is the best policy isnt it?
u'll just have to find someway to deal with my bluntness.
any form of diplomacy is completely useless when the problem is the lack of reason.
some things are in shades of grey. but for those that are black and white.
black is black and white is white.
u will NEVER be able to use one to conceal the other forever.
but then all of this annoying stuff im spewing out right now is always taken the wrong way so.
i wont spew anything to you.
i shall learn to be selfish.
i shall start to lack initiative.
i wont share my opinion or point out any more mistakes.
i'll risk my neck for some but the rest who are the REAL loudmouths can just rot for all i care.
its really not my fault if they have bad taste or sense.
the funny thing is i actually learnt all of this in literature and gp lessons.
i dont understand why it took me so long to link the two.
when the ppl who are supposedly more expendable show the potential to be sth better the authority almost always falters.
why is it so?
shouldnt efficiency, like, increase?
its more like, things slow down instead.
so weird huh?

anyways, unless u are my friend, have the decency to keep any feelings u harbour abt this here.
that is, if u are even capable of doing that (i'm assuming u are).

school is starting soon.
im taking most of the next week off to unwind my twisted body clock *thanks to all the late nights* and to take care of the rest of the admin stuff.
its not as fun anymore anyways, after my best buddies get thrown into the kits while im left outside.
but whatever.
im still tt annoying person who adapts will everybody.
banish me if u want, i'll still get along.
ah, the quirks of being ethical.
treating other ppl the way u want to be treated is basic.
karma is everywhere.
live it, breathe it.
like confucious said, when u enjoy ur work u wont feel like its work at all.
i suppose if life at work gets miserable for everyone, the ones in the biggest trouble will be well, not us.
haha.
hmmm.
work.
having new blood is a good thing.
but the turnover is getting way too high.
its lowering efficiency and getting on nerves.
not mine yet, but its taking a toll.
and the newbies are somehow.... not the same as the old batches.
as in the ones tt came after me were all pretty good.
but some of them now.
are just....
well.
i think if they all were to work together on one waitside there would be chaos.
i think i noe what they lack.
speed.
somewhat.
cant pin point it.
oh well.
so long they dont screw me up its not my probelm since i didnt train them anyway.
haha.

had a chat with a NFF in the transport home today. i think the NFF is rite. that IDIOT should just go F-off, or sth.


ps.
this ENTIRE entry was randomised.
what do i mean?
i practically mixed my other stuff with work today in every other line, or sth liddat anyway..
haha!
good luck figuring what is what.




its my prerogative.

=)

....and i think i still cant.
sheesh.
will there be no end to my frustration?
anyways,
before i delve into that.....

here's my day.....

1. i am the biggest IDIOT at NYDC. seriously.
omg. there i was happily thinking i was early for work then i realised i forgot something. argh.

2. my cookies, or rather, jo's cookies too, turned out great. brought some to work to share.

3. work went okay till..... after ikah left. we were alr short staffed cux ab was sick.
then anba tells me ikah's going back, and tt we should be able to tackle it btwn us both.
i tot so too. until the sudden bloody crowd came. sheesh. i never felt to hassled in my LIFE.
bloody hell. i was clearing one bill when anba comes in with two tables' orders. tells me to help him FASTER do settings cux there are more ppl coming. ok. i decide to handle the water 1st. guess wad. ALL the REMAINING cups at the tumbler area HAPPEN to be DIRTY. so i get cups. AND THEN. i turn the knob on the tumbler. SURPRISE! the tumbler is EMPTY. and all this while BOTH kitchens chose to be impatient and ring the bells like they're being murdered. my face was like blasted smooth lake but my mind was like #$%%^$%$%^&WILL U ALL JUST SHUT UP????!!!

4. just b4 ikah left there was this bz period too. but i really had to GO. so i ran up the escalator taking two steps at a time as usual and WOW. i forgot to take my aching back into consideration and i tripped, my face coming just inches of the sharp edge and my knees n palms got a scraping good. so, i went back to work in an even worse condition than before.

5. how does someone get i/e PEACH mixed up with i/e MOCHA? i have no idea. but it was to my advantage! hahahaa. i tried to cover it for the person but hello, its an ELEPHANCCINO for a reason.

6. i kept making teeny errors all evening. but by nite time, the customers all became idiots. hello. i bloody repeated the orders TWICE and when the food comes, the bimbo says it was 2 s/ws, not 2 oven bakes. SCREW U. clean ur ears much>? and this other idiot follows me ALL THE WAY INTO THE RUNNERS STATION and says, I WANNA TAKE MY ORDER NOW. hello? are u blind? there are only TWO of us at the wait side. if both of us arent there wait like, 30 secs or sth CAN CAN CAN ANOT! aiyer. i completely lost it when it came to this.

7. it was UNBEARABLE. being banished to a place where.....argh.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

back to the very first topic.
yup. i think i still cant make u see it.
u noe who u are.
will there be no end to my disppointment?
hello.
wake up and smell the roses, or rather, the lack thereof.
life ISNT a BED OF ROSES.
u can try escaping but u gonna be able to run forever.
i tried and tried helping u before.
and i thought u had gotten somewhere but u sunk ur own boat.
while i remember and u forget, where is the point?
wad IS the point of me remembering when YOU already forgot?
and SO WHAT if i rmb?
there is no more significance. u made it that way.
rite now the only reason i remember is because i am not like u.
history is never really history when i have to live with it and learn from it.
i FACE it. do u?
u can say im cold all u want. but this is me when there are cold hard facts.
when there isnt i can dream like no tomorrow.
but its a fact. and the power to alter anything does not lie with me anymore.
u chose this path.
whether u wanna change the direction or retrace ur steps are entirely up to u.
im fine if u want to talk.
but be prepared that i will doubt u.
i will be sarcastic when i feel like it or when there is a need to be.
i am not afraid of what u think like i was before.
if u decide to read my previous entries, u will noe i dont have that basic respect anymore.
i DARE you to EARN IT BACK.
or will u give up half heartedly again?
because i noe i can honestly say, that things are the way they are now is YOUR FAULT.


entirely.

everytime i opened my mouth today it seemed as though i was ripping him up but really?
i was trying to speak my mind.
yes TRYING.
i havent even said wad i really wanted to say.
but what i do know is he'll just cut off what he doesnt wanna hear anyway to it would be like talking to a wall.
so i tried being patient.
so what if he is sorry?
i dont feel any sincerity.
i dont feel like he means it.
how can i know he's not bluffing again?
all i found out is he's still running from his own shadow.
but what can i do?........NOTHING
why? he doesnt tell me anything.
and.... i used to keep asking whats the matter but now i'd rather not.
i dont want to keep trying to be a friend when i am not wanted and besides.
haha.
he alr has the people he needs.
anything else is probably extra.
i dont want to be just an extra person-thing.
i want to be able to help, ...or something.
and he's the worst.
so far.
and he doesnt even bother trying to prove anything/
he gave up half way on everything.
after all i did.



so what is the point again?
non.

i'll wait and see.
but i wont hold my breath.
cuz i mite die in the waiting.

its really a blind thing.
and he will never ever noe.
ZUTTO.

hey cookie.
rmb to tell u abt the kid's and crayons at the kindergarten some other time...
or have i told u already?

work today was hmmmm...
haha/
someone is utterly -eye-rollingly-boy crazy.
haha
and it is spreading.
i havent gotten it yet.
but.
i'll probably catch on soon.
haha.
today we were all pranking each other.
hahahaa.
damn funny.
i finally got a turn at the plastic wrap.
and i've nv seen anyone (bigO) move so quickly n quietly either.
hahaha.
weel's shoe bag was taken from under her nose!
talk abt blur!
haha
faizal's keys went missing too.
i've had my apron tugged at so many times in one night.
jillene's going into the kits.
no fair!!!!!
bleahs.


b4 work.
met up with weel, jas, lyd, rap, jillene at MFM.
the food there is GOOD.
haha.
their chocolate mud pie is larger than ny's and there's two types of choc icecream in it i think.

they BETTER hit target tonight.
or i'll KILL them with my bare hands.
hahahaha.
afternoon was CRAZY.

the title of this song is ALONES (ya, there's no such word but the lyrics are IT).
the translation is below....


Oreta awai tsubasa kimi wa sukoshi aosugiru sora ni tsukareta dake sa
Mou dareka no tame janakute
Jibun no tame ni waratte ii yo
Izen toshite shinobiyoru kodoku
Uchigawa ni tomaru rousaku
Nigiwau ba ni koukana shandaria to wa urahara ni
Tarinai kotoba no kubomi wo nanide umetaraiin darou
Mou wakaranai yo
Semete yume no naka de
Jiyuu ni oyogetara anna sora mo iranai no ni
Kinou made no koto wo
Nuritsubusanakutemo asu ni mukaeru no ni
Oreta awai tsubasa kimi wa sukoshi aosugiru sora ni tsukaretadake sa
Mou dareka no tame janakute
Jibun no tame ni waratte ii yo


Your fragile, folded wings are just tired from the pure blue sky.
You don't have to force your smiles for anyone
It's okay to smile... for yourself.
That lonely feeling keeps creeping up on me
A single candle still burns inside
There shouldn't be an expensive chandelier in a wild place like this
Can I really bury it all with empty words?
I don't even know anymore...
As long as we can swim freely in our dreams
we won't need that sky anymore.
Even if you can't let go of the past
I'll still be there to meet you tomorrow
Your fragile, folded wings are just tired from the pure blue sky.
You don't have to force your smiles for anyone.
It's okay to smile... for yourself.

omg.
got this thru email...
i think parts of it are true.
i put both down cux usually my bday is in between...

Aquarius Employee Profile (january 21 - february 19)
The Aquarius employee can't tolerate unfairness in the office. Hair
brained schemes will get the positive attention they deserve if an
Aquarian has anything to do with it. They'll try to help everyone
see the good side of a bad situation if it's the last thing that
they do. They are so smart-they can't help but hold management in
disdain if they feel that they are being unfair and unintelligent.
It isn't that they are overly ambitious and think they could be
doing a better job- just that they think people in power should
know better. Most Aquarius workers are still looking for themselves
and will want to try their hand at a variety of jobs in the
workplace. Whatever they are doing, they will do conscientiously.
They usually have strict personal codes that include a strong work
ethic. Their bright, off-beat many friends-in and out of work.
Beneath that sometimes odd-ball behavior is solid, concrete
thinking and sensitivity to co-workers. Keep your smart Aquarius
co-worker happy by giving them plenty of opportunity to learn new
skills. Raises are less important to them. No amount of money will
make it worth their while to stay in a stagnant position. Don't let
them get too bored or they will simply find another job as easily
as they found this one-their genius is easy to spot.

Pisces Employee Profile (february 20 - march 20)

The Pisces employee can be a loyal and hard-working, if
unconventional, worker. In the right position, they are able to
keep their daydreams in check and buckle down on the detail
work-giving their all to the boss and corporation whom they feel
are worthy of devotion. On the flip side, there is no image of
extreme misery like that of an ill-placed Pisces worker. They will
act as though their cubicle were a prison cell as they daydream of
their own business or next vacation. Unhappy Pisces workers usually
won't stick around too long. Often Pisceans will drift from one job
to another looking for that ideal environment to which they will be
able to commit and feel a sense of purpose. And if things are going
in a bad direction at the office, Pisces will be the first to sense
it. They'd rather pick up and leave then wait until the problem
reaches a head. Pisces are often misunderstood by their co-workers.
Typically timid and introspective, they usually keep their true
nature hidden, for fear it wouldn't fit with the corporate culture.
What motivates a Pisces employee to not only stick around but also
excel? Try compliments. And show them how their work impacts the
entire organization. They need to know that what they are doing is
worth something on a grander scale. Acceptance of their
unconventional organization and planning will be necessary. Just
because their sales report isn't in the typical format doesn't mean
it is any less effective. Keep their environment bright and upbeat;
and an after-work cocktail wouldn't hurt.

work ytd was pretty much ok though big o would probably would've wanted to be there.
hahahaha.
i only got annoyed towards the end cux someone was happily sitting at the otherside relaxing while the rest of us were hurriedly trying to close up.
argh.
haha.
was the second last to reach home and the worst is i couldnt sleep.
now im blogging from the kindergarten.
yea.
my mum is so.....
one minute tell me not to work so much and rest more.
then nxt moment dragging me to work at the reception in the early hours.
the day before it was hanging the laundry at 3 am in the morning aft i came home from work.
i mean, what is going on in that head of hers?
i can so fall over n die rite now.
bleahs.
plus this is another reason why i dont like washing or mixing my laundry with the rest..
cux certain members of my family collect one to two weeks worth of clothes before washing so can u imagine how much there is??!!! and they dont even contribute to helping to hang OR take down the clothes.
i suppose this is quite trivial aft i think abt it.
but in the long run its annoying.
esp when im tired.
at 3 am in the morning to boot.
but what would my mother say?
"u're the oldest" " its like that" " u will have to just make more sacrifices"
argh argh argh.

other than that......
i'm feeling quite excluded from everything outside work.
honestly i cant say i noe whats been going on with weel or jillene either.
and they're SUPPOSED to be the closest to me at the moment.
i think u can figure the rest out.
i dont quite know if its a good thing or bad.
i dont like the way things are now andim not sure what i can do.
i guess we'll see.
but the past few days have just completely drained me.

big O was practically BEAMING today.
haha.
hmmm.
its as though EVERYONE got hair cuts tgt.
lol.

hmm.
i think nesh might never ever put me cashier on his shift anymore.
but the screw up wasnt totally my fault.\
arggh.
the micros machine said 'no open checks found'
so i tot everything was settled.
in the end there was one table left.
plah!
cashiering n runner is my fave stations i think.
which is ironic since i started out HATING those two positions.
but on days when i've done full shift,
these two posts can save lives.
haha.
haiz.

someone said i need to relax.
like, im too wound up.
hmmm.
mayb i am.
guess in some ways, sometimes i've forgotten wad a good joke or prank is.
but in other ways im just plain blur.
just havent had any time in my so-called childhood to joke around or goof off.
it doesnt help matters much when i have a mum tt completely eradicates pranks.
all i do know is tt.
ya, i take things seriously.
but now im not always that serious.
i'm just really guarded abt certain things.
mayb high strung when i get nervous or stressed out.
and usually im the butt of jokes rather than the joke-r.
haha.
or, i laugh laugh and laugh somemore.



hey, whatever makes me happy right?

went out with joce n jack ytd.
had tons of fun.
haha.
he finally treated us after 3 long years
that last time we were all at the scrabble finals.
was it really that long ago?
haiz.
JJJ.
haha.
despite all the changes in the three of us.
we managed to goof off all over again.
aft dinner we decided to head back to yishun so we all could walk home after the movie.
watched die hard 4.0
its good.
haha.
like the old times, i had the usual tiny fights with jack over who'd get the arm rest space..

today.
hmmmm.
work was as usual.
somehow i dun really like talking abt work on the blog anymore.
haha.
unless its really bad.
but today there wasnt any screwups.
so it was all good.
oh...
jillene did a stunt.
haha.
she didnt know she was working.
-_-
but somehow we managed to cope.

doesnt the title sound ike something outta a game of Qudditch?
lol.
i seek the finer points in life, the reason in life.
i keep some secrets, as do we all.
i beat the crap if i can.
to sara.
haha.
do u noe.
i wanted to work today cuz i saw tt ur name was FINALLY down.
argh.
but i've been waiting to meet up with tt friend of mine for quite sometime.
anyways.
i think joce is the only one i really dare to be completely sarcastic with.
why?
hmmm.
we go way back to pri sch.
though i didnt know her too well then.
but in sec sch we were the only ones who preferred speaking eng to chinese and plus. we were both always dripping sarcasm so straight forward sometimes that ppl really detested it.
oh well.
but we're both kinda different now.
i've turned into this 'yes' person that always tries to oblige.
she's had to become more....sassy, to survive mass comm.
but im glad we still can connect.
not like some people who tend to just...drift away.
hopefully things'll stay like this.

and sara lim for goodness sake please dont be exasperated with me.
haha.
SUE.
hahahahaha. i know . i know what u did last summer.
bwahahahahaha.
to fred.
u r welcome!
glad i could help.
if u need another session jus let me know.
haha.
jillene can too.

harry potter....
is well, harry potter.
lol.
cho is overrated tho.
hermione is WHOA.
so are the twins!!!
and luna lovegood.
haha.
i think she's so cool the way she's always in her own world.
ron n harry look like typical english blokes.
lol.


jack chee tml.
he totally owes joce n me a meal.
haha.

i died during jap class ytd.
dunno what the hell happened.
i sneezed n sneezed so bad i could barely hear anything my sensei was saying.
plus.
it was embarrassing.
hardly anyhting went in too.
my katakana SUCKS.

ok anna, weel, sara, jillene.
dont sigh in exasperation ok.
im stuck in ppls problems again.
but im not here to complain.
haha.
its more of a update?
yup.
im kinda glad ppl talk to me.
so i noe what is gg on with them.
so tt they will feel they ARE being heard.
sometimes....
the best way to save a life is just listening.
sympathizing.
understanding.
u dont even have to do anything.

im the kind of person tt likes silence now a days.
to brood.
to worry.
to think.
to find some inner peace tt will hopefully end the turmoil around me.
and im the kind of person tt likes ppl to show concern all the time.
not just when i appear infront of them with red eyes or with vulgarities bursting from my mouth like a tsunami.
i noe.
im actually quite demanding, arent i?
i can just so imagine the anonymous person gg 'u need to be more independent' blah blah.
haiz.
what to do.
what to do?

zen's booked in alr.
its like he's not even gone.
when i see the place in a mess i can imagine him in my head going 'what is this? how are u all gonna survive w/o me" yada yada yada.
and according to some as well as my own opinion.
without hab n zen, things in coldside dun seem to move as fast anymore.
but of course its also more quiet now.
no one yells at the waitside when we make mistakes.
but then.
i guess the yelling n nagging has their good points.
it means we get scared n thus are extra careful when taking orders. etc.

today.
i met BOTH the newbies.
one's better the other's worse.
haiz.
time will tell what kind of ppl they will be under pressure during the weekends.
i ended work today doing one of the most mundane jobs.
using up the water from the tumbler.
-_-
anna was banished to the hotside.
i have no idea when or why i refer to wait one as being 'banished' to.
but somehow the idea of the hotside kitchen somehow links with hell in my mind.


`went to THAT cafe today.
the sight of tofu boy made me feel sad/angry/irritated/wretched/betrayed
all over again.
its funny how the least u expect to see or dun wanna see a person the more u get to meet.

to the uninitiated i mean those who don't or NEVER watch anime before.
some anime is abt fantasy blah blah.
some SATISFIES some lustful guy's idea of a girl.
hell, some satisfies a girl's fantasy abt other girls.
but the main point is.
most of them have connections to what real life is like.
like the anime "NANA".
it seriously gives u a rude awakening.
that life isnt a bed of roses.
the naive ones will always end up losing.
the dependent ones end up hung up.
the proud ones will put away their pride in the end and doggedly fight for what they want.
and the cynical ones tend to find hope in the most unexpected places in unexpected ways.
and most of all...the RIGHT or WISE choice doesnt always mean it is the choice that translates happiness.
it simply means that less people will be hurt in the long run.
but there will be hurt nonetheless.
even to the person who has to make the decision.
but then all this shouldnt prevent you from making hard choices at the right time either.
when the time comes to do sth, do it.
cuz if u miss it, u'll wait forever to say anything.
OR, it will all come out the wrong way.
there will always be people to help u along, even if there are also people who will try to obstruct ur way.
never fear when ur dear frens are near.








so harden your hearts people.


it's time to wake up.

i hear the wind roaring
just outside my window.
i hear the wind roaring.
riding on the wings of the storm.
when will my own wings form?
so that i may take flight.
and soar away into the inky night.

kenny drove me to work today.
lol.
mum wanted to avoid the erp but we failed.
-_-.
papa didnt work today.
she has this skin thing.. like an infection tt spreads.
and if it manages to come full circle a person can die.
or so mama said.
but anw, she managed to get it treated.
we hit target.....AGAIN.
but it was HELL i tell u.
everyone looked like roadkill by the time the clock struck one.
was supposed to be cashier (and i was looking forward to it too) but rico had me swapped cux he sprained his led or sth. yea.
had zoee, shi shi, jamil, cass n 'car with me on coldside.
my gosh.
there was this period of time where the customers came in wanting 7, 10, 8, 9 ppl.
wth!
but i totally have respect for the grp of 10 ppl tt came in.
they were totally calm n PATIENT and they waited for the LONGEST compared to the others.
so there ARE customers from heaven.
but wait one had customers from HELL.
some mix up abt the boo boo cake.
sheesh.
i think now our guardian noes how it feels like on a weekend nite.
the expression on his face totally mirrored ours.

haha.
big O.
wad makes u think he was touched at what I said?
could've been u or the monster.
lol.
but anyways it was as u predicted.


my tummy area is totally aching from the stupid stunts i tried to do ytd.
argh.
if anna knew abt it she'd go ' HAH! so clever jade, so clever.'
lol.
and if sara sees my current hairstyle (yes, the hairdresser decided to make me revisit my childhood), she'd probably lose her bearings.
it is HORRIBLE argggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
i look like a cross btwn a nine year old and some ah lian tt takes narcissistic photos of themselves on frenster.
so annoying.
ANNOYING
IRRITATING
UNBELIEVABLE

'ari e naitsuno

was cashier today.
sevverl was having a great time being runner and i had a fantastic time watching him get practically grilled by skud.
haha.
skud'd go... what is this.
then serve'd go ...... i dunno
the skud'd glare at him.
and serve would look at me for the answers.
damn funny.

and as usual.
everytime im cashier stunts always happen/
either i count till theres excess or till theres shortage.
today, i actually forgot to count the coins and thought we had a shortage of 13 bucks.
like wth.
why cant i be coolheaded like when im helping other ppl with cashiering?
so UN fair.
argh.
andand.
weel act insulted a customer tt was wearing this mphorsis dress/tunic tt she wanted to get
lol.
i think she was high from the starburst gummies i got.
i was so irritated by the fishsticks anna.
u have no idea how annoying he was.

i had a good time de-stressing though.
it was an unorthodox way/
it was in the van with ty.
we sang like, tons of songs and got all the lyrics WRONG.
damn unglam.
i can imagine big o would be laughing when reading this.
hahahahahaha.

anw/
now tt theres a guy in the house i feel like part of my freedom has gone out the window.
cant do the stuff we usually do.
and SARA LIM.
u are such a HORRIBLE person!
aiyerrrrrr.
dont fren u!

seabiscuit is effing annoying ok.
hello.
im a measely blackhead but i noe my shit.
still dare to shout at me and treat me in such a condescending manner.
then when u noe YOU were wrong and I am right u dont even have the gall to say sorry.
the fact u practically dissed me was alr wrong.
u made it worse by brushing off the whole thing like it nv happened.
forget it man.
better yet, u try to kiss ass aft tt.
of cos i cant ignore u right.
oh no, i have to be PROFESSIONAL unlike you.
because unlike u, i like this job.
and i need it to reach my other goals in life.
as to whether or not u even have goals is really none of my business but please stop making the rest of us look bad to others.

i think wait 1 died today.
haha.
all the stones, pebbles, statues, rocks were there.
helped nadine with cashiering.
the poor girl didnt know what to do ytd and no one told her anything so today i helped her along.
end up she went off at eleven/
-_-

ny finally changed the cds.
though one cd has all the great songs the other one is like.....
ahem.
nesh is coming back.
i wonder what'll be like.
guess we all got kinda used to not having him around.

ps sara.
if my life happened to depend on tt sms i think i'll be lying in a gutter somewhere by now. hahahahaha

Hmmmm. Work was, hmmm, well, work.

Came in time to see anna leave.

Finally met moses. Though actually it wasn’t my first time seeing him cux I was the one who told sue he wanted to come for an interview. But like I said, I don’t have an unforgettable face so he doesn’t remember me at all. But he’s nice to talk to and when u need help, he’s there. He’s also full of wanting to prove he’s a fast learner.

Haha.

We’ll see.

To survive at ny, enthusiasm is much needed.

The highlight of today was two people who reported for work when they weren’t scheduled down.

It was friggin funny.

They ended up eating at ny instead

What I don’t get is tt they saw the schedule file on Sunday so how in the world???

Haha.

Oh well.

Anyways.

The more I think abt my previous entry the more I think im the unreasonable one.

Haiz.

Nesh’s voice is in my head.

I can practically imagine him saying that ‘some things are privileges, not entitlements’

Whenever that statement pops up, theres never anything much I can say in defense.

I think tt even the monster will agree with me on this.

I mean.

Haiz.

Deep down I actually KNOW all this stuff.

I alr learnt it durg leadership camp.

There are the people who delegate, and the ppl who are delegated.

And since I am the latter, it isn’t really in my position to question.

I even noe how it feels to have ur requests disobeyed and ur authority questioned.

BUT (if u realise there is always a BUT in life)

Everything I’ve been taught in JC is saying otherwise.

They’ve practically honed us into becoming interrogators or sth along those lines.

Like, anything we don’t know the answer to, question n ask n seek till we find out the answer.

Which now leads me to ask, which should I follow now?

Is the system faulty?

I’ve come to realise sth else.

I’m guy-phobic.

The closer I feel they’re getting emotionally the colder I become toward them.

It’s a almost automatic thing.

I think I know why too.

Now I wonder.

Who will be patient enough to stick around?

to anna's tag,
haha. i need a good dose of laughing.
or binge-ing.
or jogging.
'sides. isnt this want u secretly wish for?
to see the results of me blowing up and the subject of my wrath be blown to smithereens?
hahaha.


i wont reflect on the shadow of my past.
it hurts enought to kill.
but i wont die from it.
isnt that the most frustrating?
when u're neither here nor there?

may be i am being too harsh.
after all.
i AM working almost everyday.
haiz.
okok.
i shant rant anymore.
haha.
i was giving in to my childish demands.

ok.
my bluntness is not ego boosting.
but at least im honest.
i dont lie or kiss ass.
but since u say stupid things behind my back i'm gonna do the complete opposeite and make u come clean.
u're one of my favouritest ppl to work with.
or so i thought at first.
just because im obliging most of the time and always feel a great sense of responsibility does NOT mean u can use me like a toothbrush ok .
i suppose the good things abt me are also the worst things.

1. i'm too goddamned str8 forward
2. since i get along with EVERYONE, i know things.

just because i appear carefree n happy go lucky does NOT mean i'm brainless or that i dont notice the finer details.
hah.
ask anyone close to me.
they'll tell u i'm the one who thinks 10 bloody steps ahead, which is why sometimes i dont realise some of the basic stuff.
u can call it weird but i take in my first impression of ppl by their shoes as well.
there is ALOT u can tell.

honestly, its not always the best way to be blunt.
but to me, i'd rather be blunt than be hypocritical and go in one big circle and let the truth reach the intended party by word of mouth.
noe wad?
since u dont appreciate this, i'll play it ur way.
=)
i am supposed to be obliging anyways.

i'll find a way to make u stop taking me for granted.
i swear i will.

i swear some people are just out to get me.
sorry la!
i am not the subtle sneaky snakey kind of person that needs to go in one big FUCKING (yes, i am FINALLY using this word) circle just to get to the FUCKING POINT.
i am sorry i don't whine or sweet talk or be sticky sweet jus to butter u up or to get what i want.
note.
i am not pissed at anyone in particular but to this someone.
you dont have to sweet talk me ok.
or patronise me.
don't talk to me like i'm a customer.
especially when i tell you str8 to the point.
i dont like repeating the reasons over and over and im sure u dont like patronising me over and over either.
haha.
cuz i ain't.
think abt it.
i put down mornings ALL the time.
if i can't handle it i wont put it.
and if i put SO MANY morning shifts down i dont understand how it is i cant get even ONE slot.
am i that invisible?
or am i just invisible when my help isnt needed or when u dont need sth from me?
where is the 'ren qing'?
when people need my help i help.
and when i do help, i dont do a fucking HALF ASSED job either.
when i said don't kill me u give me one of the most taxing jobs.
are u trying to test my SANITY or did u just want me to quit or sth.
i am SO ANNOYED.
sometimes i fucking CURSE MY OWN ETHICS.
i keep my personal life out of work.
and when i help, its help all the way or dont help at all.
and unlike SOME unreasonable people i DO think of the consequences OTHER people have to bear if i dont help.
i sure as in ten hells know how it feels like when i feel like my fate has been sealed when its overcrowded and understaffed.
some people cant stay but those who can and just blantantly REFUSE to completely pisses the hell outta me.
i mean u noe how bad it gets and there u are making others succumb to that horrible fate.
we all know that when it gets busy, efficiency increases but what the FUCK do u think will fucking happen if theres just a huge MOS queue waiting to drown the rest?
DUH!
ppl are ALL human. we WILL make mistakes that we usually dont make.
its one thing if its sth we really dont know, but its PLAIN DUMB if we get so busy we make stupid mistakes like leaving the order chit in our pocket cux 3 other customers call at once.
and su is totally right.
some people are just, total statues.

WHERE IS YOUR CONSCIENCE?
WHERE IS YOUR SENSE OF GUILT?
WHERE IS YOUR UNDERSTANDING?

others, are like, job hoppers who end up doing everything else BUT their job.
so everyone ends up doing everyone else job and its also chaos.
but its totally understandable when it gets busy and there is no choice.
having initiative is so much better than having a lack thereof.
esp in this line.
but the former is totally worse than the latter.
its like. ya. u can say you're tired blah blah blah.

NEWSFLASH----who ISN'T tired? EVERYONE runs around.

anw.

at the end of it all.
all i CAN do is rant.
ok.
i have covered ALL the topics that piss me off.
anyways.
sue, i noe u're probably gonna read this so just let what i've said stay here.
its what a blog is for anyways.
ohoh. haha. and the person im talkin abt aint u. so chill.


and one more thing to grumble abt.
SARA LIM WHY U START SCH SO FAST U IDIOT!!!

hmmmm.
i have to say.
when one stops studying time seems to fly.
half a year has gone by and i'm still at NYDC slogging my ass half off.
come to think of it, its the longest job i've had yet.
we managed to hit target today but u should've seen us work man.
it was madness.
and i only came in at eight.
the first thing i saw when i entered wait one was the guy whom i returned the lighter to once.
yea.
the one that came in with a bunch of other guys who asked for 'anything' and 'whatever'.
haha.
this one that comes back is the quiet one tho.
then again, its only a shallow observation.
he and his frens came in twice in one night today.
and i completely embarrassed myself.
over one friggin slice of oreo c/c.
argh.
one of them wanted me to explain in chinese and i blantanly said 'huh, i dont wanna speak in chinese lei"
tk god for his gf. she must've been heaven sent cux she managed to catch the crap i was saying and explained it to him.

another funny thing that happened at work was...
the wait two ppl kept trying to find ppl to bluff abt this 'milk stain' on the seat.
haha.
the 'stain', might i say, is actually the underlining of the torn seat cover.
so please people, do not be duped by pauline and susanti.
haha.
tho act only pauline fell for it. thanks to su.
haha.

anws.
last night.
at jas's "party"
the steamboat was a let down cux the rest of the frens turned up late./
and it turns out that none of them were sporting at all.
so sian right.
instead of helping jillene n weel to sabo hiom with whipped cream and flour n water, they GAVE hime the whipped cream and instead weel n jill had to evade him.
sheesh.
talk abt spoilers.
went down for a movie at cathay at the amk hub.
TRANSFORMERS.
it was DAMN GOOD i tell u.
Ms S, this is a show i wouldnt mind watching over n over!
uncomplicated plot n tons of effects and action.
and the 'romance' parts are controlled quite a bit so there's no shifting of the main subject.
for me, either the plot is super good or the effects have to be good enought to cover the lack of plot.
this is the latter, obviously.
i doubt anyone can actually come up with a complicated plot when its robots being involved.
i mean, come on, they have no facial expressions.
that in itself is a big handicap.

i think the three of us were most surprised last night...
when JASON actually VOLUNTEERED to PAY for the movie.
so sweet right.
haha.

thanks to jeremy who posted his name frong on my tag board...
Proposition: What is your favorite food in your state or country? Requirements: Find some info about the food and show delicious pictures of it. Quantity: FIVE PEOPLE.

my fave food?
there's quite a few, lets see..
1) chicken from the Soup Kitchen
2) qiu lian ban mian
3) dim sum from Crystal Jade
4) hana maki from sakae
5) fried oysters from manhattan fish market