Saturday, September 30, 2006
Nephrite at 10:07:00 AM
A look of glass stops you
And you walk on shaken: was I the perceived?
Did they notice me, this time, as I am,
Or is it postponed again?
Haha.
I feel like the raging storm in King Lear.
Perhaps I'm going mad like him.
Hello!
To the man up there.
Just how far are you going to push me?
Are u curious as to how far I can be pushed?
Or do u just want to deal the last straw to break me?
Because I am human, if u hadn't noticed FYI, I do have limitations.
And right now I feel edgy and on the brink of falling into the abyss called INSANITY.
How many more years of torment are u going to award me with?
I'm so tired, really, I am so friggin' tired.
And all u do is make me feel so friggin' helpless.
Throwing and shoving things blantantly in my face isn't making me stronger anymore.
Its just chipping away bits of my spirit like the woodpecker on wood.
telling myself i'm already well-off doesn't work anymore either.
did i do something wrong in my previous life?
is this karma?
the what goes around comes around thing?
stoicism is killing me.
pride n arrogance is killing me.
pity is killing me.
helplessness fills me.
what can i do??
what CAN i do??
Saturday, September 23, 2006
Nephrite at 12:53:00 AM
burnt.
john tucker must die.
boo.
Thursday, September 21, 2006
Nephrite at 2:21:00 PM
i found this really interesting proverb book the other day...
tues, to be exact, at borders and it had really nice stuff...
'a couple is not a pair'
'a running horse is an open grave'
'humble hearts have humble desires'
'tell the truth and shame the devil'
'a thousand probablities do not make one truth'
'when the wine is in, the wit is out'
.... there was also the usual..
'forgive and forget'
'do not teach your grandmother to suck eggs'
'you reap what you sow'
etc etc.
we watched fireworks!
haha.
to tell the truth the idea didnt cross my mind as a surprise...
til someone kinda suggested or guessed it.
but really!
the view was spectacular n the fireworks was better than all the ones displayed during the festival.
no fair.
only fot the IMF ppl.
=/
it was really nice sitting at the highway though...
but chah was rite.
confirm die from the carbon monoxide.
haha.
but jill!
i had a gr8 time tho at that point of time i didnt react the way u wanted me to.
haha.
ugh.
i feel ancient.
really.
nothing seems to interest me anymore.
im kinda bored with the dramas now.
what to do oh what to do?
hmmm?
i had a nightmare...or rather a morning one..
its quite embarrassing since im 18 and all but still.
haiz.
its been quite awhile since i've had this kinda nightmare.
a REALLY long while, in fact..
its kinda unnerving..
especially when u first wake and can't quite figure out if it was real or not.
but having 3 dreams in those short hours is spooky if i do say so myself.
i realise that its no longer the scary monster type of dream.
but the one that leaves you feeling haunted and troubled.
and it doesn't help when u feel insecure and nobody is there to help u retain it.
what happened?
why does it feel as though im losing everything?
i followed aunty rita to visit ambrose ytd... so i didn't go over to jill's house.. not like they actually bothered anyway.
but am got put into the CDC, communicable disease centre.
its this really sad looking place where even the nurses look sick.
my unc is in real bad shape.
for all that he's a head taller than me, he looked like a little lonely kid ytd.
and he couldnt eat his meals properly either.
but the air outside the ward is good..
and the trees r nice too..
the kind thats large enough to build a tree house on...
studied at macs alone ytd... though i had company for a few later..
the world is black, hearts are cold.
you've gotta friend in me? =/
Monday, September 18, 2006
Nephrite at 8:55:00 PM
Rendezvous? Ha. Fine.
Whatever whatever whatever.
Hmph. My words to a friend weren't wrong after all.
Though its been almost two years…who’s to say people wouldn't change within this period of time…
And try as I did, I still got complacent and trusting.
What in the world was I thinking?
Better yet.
The feeling of exclusion doesn't feel all that great either.
So. Who to trust and who not to?
I’ve yet to decide.
I feel like I don't know the very people I thought I knew.
Are all the men and women merely players?
As in literally??
Perhaps perhaps perhaps.
I'm so confused right now.
Then again, I'm cursing my own stupidity.
I don't even know what the word friendship really means.
Its like the term flirt.
Everyone has different definitions and all only stick to their own opinions.
I feel like hiding away for the next few days.
Just to test the waters.
And no, im not pmsing.
=/
the killers
Saturday, September 16, 2006
Nephrite at 12:20:00 PM
i think that all exams are killers....
or maybe assasins....
the sleepless nights and troubled days....
then when u sit for the exams.....
u not only get killed during the papers that scream bloody murder
....but go brain-dead after as well.
so, i have thus came to the conclusion that the A'lvls are judgement days...
to determine whether u go to heaven or to hell.
to be sent off happily or condemned.
no offense, im using metaphors here, not trying to be blasphemous.
sheesh.
lit must really be getting to me.
last paper's on monday.
haHahahhahahaha.
the rest of the week is supposedly free.
mind u, i said, SUPPOSEDLY.
agrhhh..
and some people already finished all their papers.
=( boohoo.
tata you.
sa rang ni
Saturday, September 09, 2006
Nephrite at 10:47:00 PM
ok... abt the title.... i hope its spelt correctly.
haha.
its supposed to be korean.
haha.
lately i've been hooked on 'My Name is Kim Sam Soon ' and 'Full House'
...
i noe. its bad.
but at least now tt i've finished it i won't be distracted anymore.
haha.
bia ne.
i didn't realise Rain was acting in full house. haha.
anyways.
yes. the korean film industry IS doing well.
though i can't imagine myself eating the way sam soon does...as in..with my mouth half open or with chewing noises....
or make weird curse-y sounding noises at my boyfren like 'khahhhhh', or spit in his face.
but still.
if there was a good looking guy willing to take in a plump girl, i'll be damned.
i can see myself becoming exactly like her....figure-wise.
ugh.
rite now though....something else is bothering me....
the A's.
ughhhh.
aja aja fighting!!
calendar
Thursday, September 07, 2006
Nephrite at 9:41:00 AM
`all of the things that i thought were so easy.....just gets harder and harder each day....'but isn't that life?throwing unexpected punches?
whadda??
Friday, September 01, 2006
Nephrite at 10:44:00 PM
the truth is...
i feel stalker-ish (weel u noe wad im talking abt)
haha.
but if i feel like a stalker it would me that i ain't one cuz i still keep in check rite.
haha.
haiz.
i need to spice up my life.
somehow.
it feels dead.
like a split end u have that u wanna mend or sth.
im dead dead dead.
how are we supposed to maintain our innocence and sanity?
its freakin' impossible.
shite.
this sucks big time.
Your CBOX here, set width at 450px and height around 260px.